216: Give the People What They Want - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #216 | August 29, 2003 216: Give the People What They Want Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 216 集 | 2003 年 8 月 29 日 216：给人们他们想要的注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago and Public Radio International it's This American Life .
序言 Ira Glass 来自芝加哥 WBEZ 和国际公共广播电台 《这就是美国生活》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
All right, you're going to flip your collar up.
好吧，你要把领子翻起来。
All right, that's going to look real nice, don't you think?
好吧，那看起来真的很不错，你不觉得吗？
Going to look nice?
想要好看吗？
The groom's ready.
新郎已经准备好了。
The bride's ready.
新娘已经准备好了。
They have never kissed, not even one time.
他们从来没有接吻过，一次也没有。
She only asked him to marry her two weeks ago.
她两周前才向他求婚。
In they march-- flower girls, three bridesmaids, three groomsmen, the grey-haired pastor who's done this dozens of times, the groom, who has known the bride since fifth grade, and finally the bride.
在他们的行进中——花童、三名伴娘、三名伴郎、白发苍苍的牧师（已经这样做了几十次）、新郎（从五年级起就认识新娘），最后是新娘。
They both just graduated from high school this month.
他们本月都刚刚高中毕业。
We're in Davenport, Iowa.
我们在爱荷华州达文波特。
Our guests may be seated.
我们的客人可以入座了。
A truly blessed, happy occasion brings us here.
一个真正幸福、幸福的时刻把我们带到了这里。
I hope that your hearts are happy.
我希望你们的心是快乐的。
All of this is fake.
这一切都是假的。
Absolutely, completely fake, every single part of it.
绝对，完全是假的，每一个部分都是假的。
We're in a home for elderly people with Alzheimer's and the staff is staging a phony wedding because, well, it makes the residents feel good.
我们在一所患有阿尔茨海默氏症的老人之家，工作人员正在举办一场假婚礼，因为这会让居民感觉良好。
They enjoy picking out hats and jewelry to wear.
他们喜欢挑选帽子和珠宝来佩戴。
They enjoy talking about their own weddings, those who still remember them.
他们喜欢谈论自己的婚礼，以及那些仍然记得他们的人。
They have all sorts of confusions and perceptual problems and they cannot tell that it is fake.
他们有各种各样的困惑和感性问题，无法辨别这是假的。
--At a wedding.
——在一场婚礼上。
We all love a wedding, don't we?
我们都喜欢婚礼，不是吗？
Ashley William Poust--
阿什利·威廉·波斯特——
Over on the side, two old women whisper excitedly about the bride's dress.
旁边，两个老妇人兴奋地低声议论着新娘的礼服。
A woman in the first row cries.
第一排的一个女人哭了。
There are three men who stare straight ahead in space, not registering anything.
三个人直视前方的太空，没有注意到任何事情。
But nearly everybody else is much more bright-eyed and engaged than unusual, the caretakers all say.
但看管人员都表示，几乎其他人都比平时更加目光明亮、更加投入。
This is Judy Rader.
这是朱迪·雷德。
It's amazing.
太棒了。
All these people are patients and usually can't focus on the same thing at the same time.
所有这些人都是病人，通常无法同时专注于同一件事。
Do you solemnly declare-- Judy Rader They're looking at the minister which again, they're focusing on the person that's delivering the speech, which oftentimes isn't.
你郑重声明吗——朱迪·雷德（Judy Rader） 他们再次看着部长，他们的注意力集中在正在发表演讲的人身上，而事实往往并非如此。
In fact, it all looks real enough-- the pastor's homily, the vows, the rings.
事实上，这一切看起来都很真实——牧师的讲道、誓言、戒指。
The only signs that this is a complete sham are that the bride barely looks at the groom.
唯一表明这完全是骗局的迹象是新娘几乎没有看新郎。
When she delivers her vows, she fixes her eyes on the pastor.
当她宣读誓言时，她的目光集中在牧师身上。
The couple does not hold hands.
夫妻俩没有牵手。
You may now kiss the bride and there's no limits.
现在你可以亲吻新娘了，没有任何限制。
And when they kiss, these two friends-- just friends-- from high school, go in once for a quick peck and then, suspecting that that was not convincing enough, they quickly kiss a second time.
当他们接吻时，这两个朋友——只是朋友——从高中开始，快速地吻了一下，然后，他们怀疑这不够令人信服，很快就接吻了第二次。
We don't consider it lying.
我们不认为这是撒谎。
We consider it organizing special moments for them.
我们认为它为他们组织了特殊的时刻。
Because Alzheimer residents have short-term memory loss.
因为阿尔茨海默病居民会出现短期记忆丧失。
So their special moments are sometimes all they have.
所以有时他们的特殊时刻就是他们所拥有的一切。
This is Judy Dejong who organized the fake wedding.
这是朱迪·德容（Judy Dejong）组织了这场假婚礼。
It is her fourth one for Alzheimers patients.
这是她为阿尔茨海默病患者提供的第四次治疗。
Could you do this wedding again next week and most of them wouldn't remember that it had happened this week?
您能否下周再次举办这场婚礼，而他们中的大多数人都不会记得这周发生过？
We could do it tonight even and they wouldn't-- may not have remembered that.
我们甚至今晚就可以做到，但他们不会——可能不记得了。
Absolutely.
绝对地。
So we have planned a special moment, a moment in time for them.
所以我们为他们计划了一个特别的时刻。
It must be so odd for you to work creating moments for them that are instantly gone.
对你来说，为他们创造瞬间消失的时刻一定很奇怪。
Well, so many people say, why do you go to all that trouble when you know they're not going to remember?
好吧，很多人说，当你知道他们不会记得时，为什么还要这么麻烦呢？
And I just think, as a caregiver, that is our role for them is to provide these special moments.
我只是认为，作为一名护理人员，我们的角色就是为他们提供这些特殊的时刻。
Today on our program, giving the people what they want, we bring you five stories of people who went to extraordinary lengths to give people what they wanted.
今天，在我们的节目中，为人们提供他们想要的东西，我们为您带来五个故事，讲述人们不遗余力地为人们提供他们想要的东西。
It's interesting what people want and what they would do for those who will give it to them.
人们想要什么以及他们会为那些愿意满足他们的人做什么，这很有趣。
Act One, Let Them Eat Cake, Wedding Cake.
第一幕，让他们吃蛋糕，婚礼蛋糕。
You've probably already gotten a sense of what that act is going to be about.
您可能已经了解该行为的含义。
Act Two, God Shed His Grace on Thee.
第二幕，神将他的恩典赐给你。
In that act, the astonishing story of how an entire country-- a big country, a country that you have heard of-- got named after somebody who was a fraud, but the kind of fraud that people love, the kind of fraud who knows how to please a crowd.
在那一幕中，讲述了一个令人震惊的故事，讲述了整个国家——一个大国，一个你听说过的国家——如何以一个骗子的名字命名，但这种骗子是人们喜爱的，是一种知道如何取悦大众的骗子。
Act Three, Have Paint Will Travel, a man who does murals for hire on the living room walls inside Chicago public housing units reveals what it is that people want on their walls now that black and gold panthers are sort of played out.
第三幕，“有油漆会旅行”，一名在芝加哥公共住房内的客厅墙壁上出租壁画的男子揭示了既然黑豹和金豹已经过时，人们想要在墙上画什么。
Act Four, Handing People Their Dreams, a clerk at a humble midwestern video shop tells all about handing people adult videos for a living.
第四幕，将梦想交给人们，中西部一家不起眼的音像店的店员讲述了以向人们提供成人视频为生的一切。
Act Five, What Daddy Wants.
第五幕，爸爸想要什么。
In that act, a family tries to give Daddy what he wants, even if he does not seem to want it sometimes.
在那一幕中，一个家庭试图给爸爸他想要的东西，即使他有时似乎并不想要。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Let Them Eat Wedding Cake.
第一幕，让他们吃结婚蛋糕。
It turns out, the hardest part of staging a fake wedding at the Country House Residence in Davenport was finding a groom.
事实证明，在达文波特的乡间别墅举办假婚礼最困难的部分是找到新郎。
The bride's real life boyfriend did not own a suit.
新娘现实生活中的男友没有西装。
And they're kind of on-again, off-again anyway.
不管怎样，他们总是时断时续。
So he was out.
所以他出去了。
He spent the day fishing.
他花了一天时间去钓鱼。
Somebody suggested the bride's brother play the groom but even the thought of that gave the bride the willies.
有人建议新娘的兄弟扮演新郎，但即使这样的想法也让新娘感到不舒服。
I'm not kissing him, she told her mother.
我不会吻他，她告诉妈妈。
For a while it looked like one of the certified nurse's assistant, Jason Allender would step in.
有一段时间，一名经过认证的护士助理杰森·阿伦德（Jason Allender）似乎会介入。
But as fate would have it, he had another wedding-- a real one-- in which he would also be the groom, planned for the week after the fake wedding.
但正如命运安排的那样，他计划在假婚礼后一周举办另一场婚礼——一场真正的婚礼，他也将担任新郎。
And his real fiance had a few thoughts about him going through the motions in a separate ceremony with a cute high school girl.
他真正的未婚夫对他和一个可爱的高中女生在单独的仪式上走过场有一些想法。
She didn't like it.
她不喜欢它。
She did not like it at all.
她一点也不喜欢。
What did she say?
她说什么？
Jason Allender No. No.
贾森·阿伦德 号 号
I understand.
我明白了。
It kind of takes the shine off the other wedding if you're doing a wedding the week before.
如果您在前一周举办婚礼，这会削弱另一场婚礼的光彩。
Yeah, a little bit.
是的，有一点。
And she said, they want you to kiss her?
她说，他们想让你吻她？
And I was like well, yeah, probably on the cheek.
我当时想，是的，可能是在脸颊上。
And she said, no you're not.
她说，不，你不是。
The groom they got, Ashley, had done a lot of high school plays and was charmingly unflappable.
他们的新郎阿什利（Ashley）在高中时演过很多戏剧，镇定自若，令人着迷。
The kiss, he told me, was just another stage kiss.
他告诉我，这个吻只是另一个舞台吻。
That's what got me, that good-looking guy.
这就是吸引我的原因，那个帅气的家伙。
The women at the Residence got into the wedding more than the men, as happens even when people are not Alzheimer's patients.
官邸里的女性比男性更多地参加婚礼，即使人们不是阿尔茨海默氏症患者，这种情况也会发生。
I talk with them about the bride's dress, the cake, the presents.
我和他们谈论新娘的礼服、蛋糕和礼物。
These conversations wove in and out of coherence.
这些谈话时断时续。
When I sat down with these two women, they were passing back and forth a pair of eyeglasses, each of them unable to remember if it was hers.
当我和这两个女人坐下来时，她们来来回回地传递着一副眼镜，每个人都不记得那是不是她的。
This is my glasses.
这是我的眼镜。
But they don't fit right on my ears, see?
但它们不适合我的耳朵，明白吗？
It's a whole different pair of glasses.
这是一副完全不同的眼镜。
Do you have another pair of glasses that you--
你还有另一副眼镜吗——
No, these are mine.
不，这些是我的。
Residence Woman 2 --Those are yours.
宅女2——那是你的了。
Well, I don't know.
嗯，我不知道。
Are those hers?
那些是她的吗？
Residence Woman 2 No, I thought that I was getting--
Residence Woman 2 不，我以为我正在——
Are they broken already?
它们已经坏了吗？
Residence Woman 2 I don't-- I hope not.
Residence Woman 2 我不——我希望不是。
No, they're not broken.
不，它们没有坏。
Well, it's all right now.
嗯，现在没事了。
But for a while I didn't like it too good at all.
但有一段时间我一点也不喜欢它。
Why is that?
这是为什么？
Residence Woman 2 It was cold and slippery.
Residence Woman 2 天气又冷又滑。
This is some old memory, not our wedding.
这是一些旧记忆，不是我们的婚礼。
This happened a lot.
这种事发生了很多次。
It was a real nice wedding.
这真是一场美好的婚礼。
It really was.
确实如此。
I love her dress.
我喜欢她的衣服。
I think they're pretty great kids.
我认为他们都是很棒的孩子。
I don't know them real well.
我不太了解他们。
I don't know if she just has one little girl or what, but they stopped up at our house one night, the father and her, and man is she smart.
我不知道她是否只有一个小女孩还是什么，但有一天晚上，他们在我们家停了下来，父亲和她，她很聪明。
She was really smart.
她真的很聪明。
But every so often her mother had to go, psst, [SNIFF SNIFF] on the seat of her pants.
但时不时地，她妈妈不得不去，嘘，[嗅嗅]凭感觉。
If I had to guess, I would say that the one person who is going to remember this day is the bride, 18-year-old Lisa Arret.
如果非要我猜的话，我会说最能记住这一天的人就是新娘，18 岁的丽莎·阿雷特 (Lisa Arret)。
She was working her regular shift at Country House when Judy Dejong invited her to play the part.
当朱迪·德容 (Judy Dejong) 邀请她扮演这个角色时，她正在乡村别墅 (Country House) 轮班。
It was actually-- I was screaming, I was so excited.
事实上——我在尖叫，我太兴奋了。
I was like, yes, yes.
我当时想，是的，是的。
Because in school and stuff like that, I've never been really the center of attention when it comes to-- or being even the main character in a play.
因为在学校和类似的事情中，我从来没有真正成为关注的焦点，甚至是戏剧中的主角。
And it was just like wow, this is it, this is it and stuff like that.
就像哇，就是这样，就是这样等等。
And I, of course, didn't realize how big it would be.
当然，我并没有意识到它会有多大。
Actually, when I had the dress on and I was standing-- after I put it on I was waiting for them to say, you can come out now-- and I was standing in front of the mirror with the veil and everything.
事实上，当我穿上裙子并站着时——穿上它后，我在等他们说，你现在可以出来了——我站在镜子前，戴着面纱和其他东西。
And then I sat on the bed, and I see the veil next to me.
然后我坐在床上，我看到面纱就在我旁边。
It's just like, oh my god, I'm in my wedding dress.
就像，天哪，我穿着婚纱。
It's just like, I don't know if I'll ever be in a wedding dress again.
就像，我不知道我是否还能再次穿上婚纱。
There was one resident that-- she kept looking at me in the dress.
有一位居民——她一直看着穿着裙子的我。
She kept looking over at me.
她一直看着我。
And she kept looking like she was going to stand up and come over to me so I went over to her.
她一直看起来像是要站起来并向我这边走来，所以我就朝她走过去。
And she had tears in her eyes.
她的眼里含着泪水。
And she was like, you look so beautiful.
她说，你看起来真漂亮。
I'm like, thank you so much.
我想，非常感谢你。
And I'm like, you look beautiful too.
我想，你看起来也很漂亮。
And times like those, I kind of know that when I change back into my clothes and you go back up to them, they're not going to know it was you in the wedding dress.
像这样的时候，我有点知道，当我换回衣服并且你回到他们身边时，他们不会知道穿着婚纱的是你。
They're not going to recognize me or not know who I am anymore, but it's still living in the moment, it's still appreciating the moment.
他们不会再认出我，或者不再知道我是谁，但它仍然活在当下，它仍然欣赏这一刻。
To Lisa, the whole experience was one of those things that you don't even know you want until somebody gives it to you, which in a way is what the wedding was for the residents too.
对于丽莎来说，整个经历就是你甚至不知道自己想要的东西之一，直到有人给你它，这在某种程度上也是居民的婚礼。
[MUSIC- "TIME ENOUGH FOR ROCKING WHEN WE'RE OLD" BY THE MAGNETIC FIELDS]
[音乐-“当我们老了的时候，有足够的时间摇滚”由磁场]
Act Two, God Shed His Grace on Thee.
第二幕，神将他的恩典赐给你。
In our radio story, 500 years in the making, a fable of giving people what they want in a global scale, the story of-- stay with me here-- how America actually got his name, from Mr. Jack Hitt.
在我们的广播故事中，经过 500 年的酝酿，这是一个在全球范围内为人们提供他们想要的东西的寓言，这个故事是——请听我说——美国实际上是如何从杰克·希特先生那里得到他的名字的。
I got clocked in the head the first time I ever delved into the mystery of how America got its name.
当我第一次探究美国这个名字的由来之谜时，我的头脑就受到了困扰。
It was third grade, Porter-Gaud, South Carolina.
那是三年级，南卡罗来纳州波特高德。
Mrs. Poulnot had just explained that Amerigo Vespucci was a noted explorer.
波尔诺夫人刚刚解释说，亚美利哥·韦斯普奇是一位著名的探险家。
And from the back of the class I observed, "What'd he do that was so great?" After all, who wasn't a noted explorer back then?
我从教室后面观察到，“他做了什么如此伟大的事情？”毕竟，当时谁不是著名的探险家呢？
Mrs. Poulnot had this little trick, turning her enormous wedding ring around on her finger and thumping you in the head.
波尔诺夫人有一个小把戏，她把手指上巨大的结婚戒指转过来，然后敲打你的头。
When the pain receded, I stepped into the library on my own.
当疼痛消退后，我独自走进了图书馆。
By then I was 30 and lived in New York City.
那时我 30 岁，住在纽约市。
Think about it.
想一想。
A third of planet Earth is named for Amerigo Vespucci.
地球的三分之一以亚美利哥·韦斯普奇的名字命名。
But why?
但为什么？
Why aren't we named for the European who first landed here?
为什么我们不以首先登陆这里的欧洲人的名字命名？
The United States of Colombia.
哥伦比亚合众国。
Try it out.
尝试一下。
God bless Columbia.
上帝保佑哥伦比亚。
Death to Colombia.
哥伦比亚之死。
This Colombian Life .
这哥伦比亚的生活。
It works.
有用。
I finally did figure it out.
我终于弄清楚了。
And it comes down to this-- it had nothing to do with exploration but everything to do with salesmanship.
归根结底，这与探索无关，而与推销技巧有关。
Columbus returned to tell us about the New World the way it really was.
哥伦布回来后向我们讲述了新大陆的真实面貌。
Vespucci described a different New World altogether, not the one he saw from the railing of his ship but the one he knew the folks back home wanted to believe in, the imaginary world they were certain had to exist somewhere.
韦斯普奇描述了一个完全不同的新世界，不是他从船栏杆上看到的那个新世界，而是他知道家乡的人们愿意相信的那个新世界，他们确信这个想象的世界一定存在于某个地方。
It's a tabloid rendition of the New World starring the usual cast-- hot naked girls, cannibals, dragons, pygmies and an island of giant women.
这是小报对新世界的演绎，主角是常见的演员——性感的裸体女孩、食人者、龙、侏儒和一个巨人岛的女人。
So, what happened?
那么，发生了什么？
You ask.
你问。
First off, get the old Amerigo out of your mind-- the noble map-maker pondering the stars with his astrolabe-- now replace him with a ne'er-do-well rich kid who flunked out of school and whose father landed him a job with another rich guy.
首先，把老亚美利哥从你的脑海中抹去——那个用星盘思考星星的高贵地图制作者——现在用一个没成绩的富家子取代他，他从学校退学了，他的父亲给他找到了另一个富人的工作。
Amerigo was born into a family of great prominence in 15th century Florence.
亚美利哥出生于 15 世纪佛罗伦萨的一个显赫家庭。
Remember Botticelli's painting, The Birth of Venus?
还记得波提切利的画作《维纳斯的诞生》吗？
The blond on the clamshell, that's Amerigo's cousin, Simonetta.
翻盖上的金发女郎，是亚美利哥的表弟西蒙内塔。
Still, he couldn't master his Latin study so his father got him a position with one of the richest and most powerful people on the earth, Lorenzo de Medici.
尽管如此，他仍无法掌握拉丁语学习，因此他的父亲为他在地球上最富有、最有权势的人之一洛伦佐·德·美第奇（Lorenzo de Medici）工作。
According to one Spanish historian, a Vespucci enthusiast, Amerigo, quote, "Was in charge of everything, dinner services, silver, the chests of damask, hangings, tapestries--" what we might call an entry level position.
根据一位西班牙历史学家、维斯普奇爱好者亚美利哥的说法，“负责一切事务，晚餐服务、银器、锦缎箱、帷幔、挂毯——”我们可以称之为入门级职位。
Eventually, Lorenzo trusted Amerigo enough to send him as a scout to Spain.
最终，洛伦佐足够信任亚美利哥，派他作为球探前往西班牙。
There were lots of business opportunities there at the time, mainly because Queen Isabella decided to unify the country by throwing out all the Jews and Arabs in that very busy year, 1492.
当时那里有很多商机，主要是因为伊莎贝拉女王决定在1492年那个非常繁忙的年份驱逐所有犹太人和阿拉伯人来统一国家。
No one really knows what Amerigo did during this time.
没有人真正知道亚美利哥在这段时间做了什么。
But as one writer put it, he "resolved to abandon trade and to aspire to something more praiseworthy and enduring." So he learned astronomy and managed to sail as navigator and map-maker on at least two voyages bound for the New World-- one from Spain and one from Portugal.
但正如一位作家所说，他“决心放弃贸易，追求更值得赞扬和更持久的东西”。因此，他学习了天文学，并以航海家和地图制作者的身份至少完成了两次前往新大陆的航行——一次从西班牙出发，另一次从葡萄牙出发。
We still read Amerigo's writings every time we look at a map.
我们每次看地图时仍然会读亚美利哥的著作。
In one harbor, Amerigo noticed that the natives elevated their huts on pilings above the water.
在一个港口，亚美利哥注意到当地人将他们的小屋建在桩子上，高于水面。
Amerigo was reminded of Venice and wrote "Little Venice," or in Spanish, "Venezuela." While traveling from Portugal, Amerigo entered a huge river during January, plumbing the shallows of his imagination he wrote in Portuguese, "Rio de Janeiro."
亚美利哥想起了威尼斯，写下了“小威尼斯”，或者西班牙语“委内瑞拉”。一月份，亚美利哥从葡萄牙出发，进入了一条大河，探索了他用葡萄牙语写下的想象中的浅滩，“里约热内卢”。
At this point in the story, the standard explanation in the grade school textbooks starts to crumble.
故事到这里，小学教科书中的标准解释开始崩溃。
We all learned that Amerigo's maps launched his fame.
我们都知道亚美利哥的地图让他名声大噪。
But that's not true.
但事实并非如此。
It's what accompanied them.
是它陪伴着他们。
Amerigo wrote several long letters home, one to his employer, Lorenzo de Medici.
亚美利哥给家里写了几封长信，其中一封是写给他的雇主洛伦佐·德·美第奇的。
And without them this glorified steward would have disappeared into the vapors of history.
如果没有他们，这位光荣的管家就会消失在历史的蒸气中。
So why didn't Mrs. Poulnot mention these letters?
那么为什么波尔诺特夫人没有提到这些信呢？
You only have to read them.
你只需要阅读它们。
Amerigo's letters are laced with crazy adventures and lewd encounters that are outrageous even by our jaded standards.
亚美利哥的信中充满了疯狂的冒险和猥亵的遭遇，即使以我们厌倦的标准来看，这些都是令人愤慨的。
If your children can understand the prim syntax of the Victorian era, you might want to send them out of the room for a minute.
如果你的孩子能理解维多利亚时代的严肃语法，你可能想让他们离开房间一分钟。
Here's one description of the free-spirited savages of the New World.
这是对新世界自由奔放的野蛮人的描述。
Quote, "they do not practice marriage.
引用：“他们不实行婚姻。
Each man takes all the women he desires.
每个男人都会得到他想要的所有女人。
And when he wishes to discard them, he repudiates them without discrediting himself or disgracing the woman.
当他想抛弃它们时，他会拒绝它们，但不会抹黑自己或羞辱女人。
They are excessively libidinous, and the women much more than the men.
他们性欲过度，而且女性比男性多得多。
For I refrain, out of decency, from telling of the art with which they gratify their immoderate lust."
因为出于礼貌，我不会讲述他们用来满足无节制欲望的艺术。”
Now imagine you are your average Venetian doge in 1505, eager to learn of the New World and you read this, "It was, to us, a matter of astonishment that none was to be seen among them who had a flabby breast.
现在想象一下，你是 1505 年的普通威尼斯总督，渴望了解新世界，你读到了这篇文章：“令我们惊讶的是，他们中没有一个人有松弛的胸部。
And those who had borne children were not to be distinguished from virgins by the shape and shrinking of the womb.
那些生过孩子的人不能通过子宫的形状和缩小来与处女区别开来。
And in the other parts of the body, similar things were seen of which, in the interest of modesty, I make no mention." No mention, except in the very next sentence.
在身体的其他部位也看到了类似的情况，出于谦虚起见，我没有提及。”除了下一句话之外，没有提及。
"When they had the opportunity of copulating with Christians, urged by excessive lust, they defiled and prostituted themselves."
“当他们有机会与基督徒发生性关系时，在过度的欲望的驱使下，他们就玷污了自己，卖淫了。”
Amerigo wields this time honored literary device constantly, resisting, trying to resist, and then yielding, baby, to more and more descriptions of a paradise of eternally youthful women with timeless breasts and nothing but eyes for a big, strong caballero.
亚美利哥不断地运用这一受人尊敬的文学手段，抵抗、试图抵抗，然后屈服于越来越多的描述，宝贝，永远年轻的女人的天堂，她们拥有永恒的乳房，除了眼睛之外什么都没有，只有一个大而强壮的骑士。
These essential themes may ring vaguely familiar because they are, in fact, the very same ones used today to sell Penthouse magazine.
这些基本主题听起来可能有点熟悉，因为事实上它们与今天销售《Penthouse》杂志所使用的主题完全相同。
Dear Penthouse forum, I never thought it would happen to me.
亲爱的阁楼论坛，我从没想过这种事会发生在我身上。
But one day, some explorer buddies and I were hugging the coast of the New World in our caravel when some comely natives signalled to come on board.
但有一天，当我和一些探险家伙伴乘着我们的轻快帆船拥抱新大陆海岸时，一些漂亮的当地人示意要上船。
Me, I don't even believe that Amerigo Vespucci wrote the letters.
我，我什至不相信这些信是亚美利哥·韦斯普奇写的。
The originals disappeared long ago.
原件很久以前就消失了。
What we have are copies published on a newfangled machine called a printing press.
我们拥有的是在称为印刷机的新型机器上出版的副本。
Amerigo's originals, by whatever path, found their way to the new media of the day.
亚美利哥的原创作品，无论通过什么途径，都进入了当时的新媒体。
These Ur journalists lived during the infancy of this new technology and printing was reshaping the Old World as rapidly as the computer has transformed our own.
这些乌尔记者生活在这项新技术的萌芽期，印刷术正在重塑旧世界，就像计算机改变了我们自己的世界一样。
When Columbus set sail, for instance, there were 268 registered printers working and competing in Venice alone, even though Johann Gutenberg's Bible was not yet 50 years old.
例如，当哥伦布启航时，仅在威尼斯就有 268 家注册印刷商在工作和竞争，尽管约翰·古腾堡的圣经还不到 50 岁。
At this time there was no First Amendment, no copyright law, and no tradition of authorship.
当时还没有第一修正案，没有版权法，也没有作者传统。
These entrepreneurial printers, I believe, simply re-wrote Amerigo's flat prose and exaggerated his plodding descriptions of the New World, knowing it would sell better.
我相信，这些企业家印刷商只是重写了亚美利哥平淡的散文，并夸大了他对新世界的乏味描述，因为他们知道这样会卖得更好。
The sloppy hand of the hack journalist is evident everywhere.
黑客记者的粗心之举随处可见。
One transatlantic route Amerigo describes would have plowed him straight across the continent and landed him in Seattle, Washington.
亚美利哥描述的一条跨大西洋航线将使他直接穿过非洲大陆并降落在华盛顿州西雅图。
But what really gives away the scriveners who edited Amerigo is just how well they knew their audience.
但真正暴露出编辑《亚美利哥》的书士们的地方在于他们对受众的了解程度。
The prevailing mythology of 1500 held that beyond the setting sun existed a strange and turbulent world, inhabited not just by exotic beauties, but also by every kind of oddity imaginable.
1500年盛行的神话认为，夕阳之外存在着一个奇异而动荡的世界，那里不仅居住着异国美女，还居住着各种可以想象到的怪事。
So Amerigo visits an island of giant women, cracks open a huge oyster to find a 130 pearls, and meets the iron man cannibal of all time, a guy who claims to have eaten 300 people.
于是，亚美利哥拜访了一个充满巨型女人的岛屿，打开了一个巨大的牡蛎，发现了 130 颗珍珠，并遇到了有史以来的钢铁侠食人者，一个声称已经吃掉 300 人的家伙。
There are many violent adventures and more sexual encounters, including one tribe that possessed a most unusual sex potion, which, in the interest of modesty, I will make no mention.
有许多暴力冒险和更多的性遭遇，包括一个部落拥有一种最不寻常的性药水，为了谦虚，我不会提及。
See how nicely that works?
看看效果如何吗？
Then you read Columbus' letters, which were not rewritten.
然后你读了哥伦布的信，这些信没有被重写。
They are long on descriptions of big leaves and friendly natives.
他们对大树叶和友善的当地人有很长的描述。
A typical racy passage reads, "There are on the island seven or eight kinds of palm trees, which far excel ours in height and beauty.
典型的生动的段落写道：“岛上有七八种棕榈树，其高度和美丽远远超过我们的。
There are also excellent pine trees, vast plains and meadows.
还有优良的松树、广阔的平原和草地。
The convenience of the harbors in this island and the remarkable number of rivers contributing to the healthfulness of man exceed belief."
这个岛上港口的便利性和数量众多的河流对人类健康的贡献超出了人们的想象。”
Needless to say, that kind of prose didn't quite have the same box office that Amerigo's letters did.
不用说，这种散文的票房并不像亚美利哥的书信那样。
One academic study of all the explorer's best-selling publications has Columbus' letters in second place with 22 editions.
一项针对这位探险家所有畅销出版物的学术研究显示，哥伦布的信件以 22 个版本位居第二。
Amerigo?
亚美利哥？
60 editions, including a blockbuster in Czech.
60 个版本，包括捷克语大片。
Strange, none was published in Spain where Amerigo lived.
奇怪的是，亚美利哥居住的西班牙没有出版过这本书。
As Amerigo's letters move swiftly across Europe, one copy found its way into the hands of a small group of academics living in France in 1507.
随着亚美利哥的信件迅速传遍欧洲，其中一封信于 1507 年落入了一小群居住在法国的学者手中。
They were working on publishing a grand edition of the most respected geography text of the day, Ptolemy's Cosmographia.
他们正在致力于出版当时最受尊敬的地理著作《托勒密的宇宙志》的盛大版本。
In this edition is a large map drawn by a cartographer named Martin Waldseemuller.
此版本中有一张由制图师 Martin Waldseemuller 绘制的大型地图。
This man's name you should remember.
这个人的名字你应该记住。
This is the man who named America.
这就是为美国命名的人。
Martin Waldseemuller.
马丁·瓦尔德塞穆勒。
On this enormous map, stamped across a few continental chunks, it reads-- for the very first time-- America.
在这张巨大的地图上，印有几个大陆块，上面首次写着“美国”。
Beneath it, in the deep blue sea, Waldseemuller added an explanation.
在它下面，在深蓝色的大海中，瓦尔德塞穆勒添加了一个解释。
"I see no reason why we should not call it America, that is to say, land of Amerigo, its discover, a man of sagacious wit."
“我看不出我们有什么理由不称其为美国，也就是说，亚美利哥的土地，它的发现者，一位睿智的人。”
Apparently, a poet friend intoxicated by Amerigo's prose had talked Waldseemuller into it.
显然，一位诗人朋友被亚美利哥的散文所陶醉，说服了瓦尔德西穆勒。
Later he changed his mind and never again included the name on any of his maps.
后来他改变了主意，再也没有把这个名字写在他的任何地图上。
But the name began to catch on.
但这个名字开始流行起来。
And 31 years later, when the great cartographer Gerard Mercator became the first person to write North and South America on a map, the issue was settled.
31年后，当伟大的制图师杰拉德·墨卡托成为第一个在地图上写出北美和南美的人时，这个问题就得到了解决。
America was a place.
美国是一个地方。
Nowadays, historians tell two stories, pro and con, about Amerigo.
如今，历史学家讲述了关于亚美利哥的两个故事，正反两方面。
Some struggle to rewrite his thin resume to make it match up to his name.
有些人努力重写他薄薄的简历，使其与他的名字相匹配。
The others, they just scream.
其他人，只是尖叫。
The Harvard historian Samuel Eliot Morison called Amerigo, quote, "A liar and the stupid boy of his class who flunked Greek and so had to go into business."
哈佛大学历史学家塞缪尔·艾略特·莫里森 (Samuel Eliot Morison) 称亚美利哥为“班上的一个骗子和愚蠢的男孩，希腊语不及格，因此不得不从商。”
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "Strange that broad America must wear the name of a thief.
拉尔夫·沃尔多·爱默生写道：“奇怪的是，广大的美国竟然冠以盗贼的名字。
Amerigo Vespucci, the pickle dealer at Seville, who managed in this lying world to supplant Columbus and baptize half the earth with his own dishonest name."
塞维利亚的泡菜商人亚美利哥·韦斯普奇（Amerigo Vespucci）在这个撒谎的世界里成功地取代了哥伦布，并用自己不诚实的名字为半个地球施洗。”
Amerigo died broke and without ever knowing that a third of the globe would bear his name.
亚美利哥去世时身无分文，他并不知道地球上的三分之一将以他的名字命名。
But I've come to think it's the perfect name.
但我认为这是一个完美的名字。
Columbus may have discovered the New World, but Vespucci sold it to us.
哥伦布可能发现了新大陆，但韦斯普奇把它卖给了我们。
How poetic is it that the future home of skywriting, ballyhoo, and P.R.
空中写作、大肆宣传和公关的未来家园是多么富有诗意。
would be named after someone so willing to give folks what they wanted?
会以某人的名字命名吗？他愿意为人们提供他们想要的东西？
Hype and spin permeate our every institution, our politics, and our movies.
炒作和炒作渗透到我们的每一个机构、我们的政治和我们的电影中。
The things we sell and the stock market that underwrites them.
我们销售的东西以及承销它们的股票市场。
Vespucci's letters totally oversold the whole place with a bunch of preposterous lies that became a blockbuster best seller.
韦斯普奇的信中充满了一堆荒谬的谎言，完全超出了整个地方的认知，这些谎言成为了畅销书。
He really had no idea what he was doing and never earned a doubloon himself from the whole thing.
他真的不知道自己在做什么，而且自己也从未从整件事中赚到过任何达布隆。
And then dying unawares, had the entire mess rewritten one more time, this time as a stately tale of a great navigator, high up in the crow's nest in every third grade textbook, peering nobly at the stars.
然后不知不觉地死去，整个混乱的局面又被重写了一次，这一次是一个伟大航海家的庄严故事，在每本三年级教科书中，他都在高高的瞭望台上，高贵地凝视着星星。
The naming of America wasn't a mistake, it was prophecy.
美国的命名不是错误，而是预言。
[MUSIC- "IN AMERICA" BY FASTBACKS]
[音乐-Fastbacks 的《在美国》]
Act Three, Have Paint, Will Travel.
第三幕，有油漆，会旅行。
Well, now we move from giving people what they want on a continental scale to giving them what they want on the most local level possible, namely in their own living rooms.
好吧，现在我们从在大陆范围内为人们提供他们想要的东西，转向在尽可能本地的水平上为他们提供他们想要的东西，即在他们自己的客厅里。
Milton Reid paints murals for his livelihood inside people's apartments in the public housing projects here in Chicago, specifically in the Robert Taylor Homes, which are high-rise buildings on the city's south side.
米尔顿·里德 (Milton Reid) 在芝加哥公共住房项目的人们公寓内，特别是在城市南侧的高层建筑罗伯特·泰勒之家 (Robert Taylor Homes) 中，为自己的生计绘制壁画。
A neighborhood, by the way, where the city has recently been tearing down public housing buildings.
顺便说一句，该市最近拆除了一个社区的公共住房建筑。
Around the neighborhood, Reid is known simply as the artist, as in, hey artist, how much do you charge for a mural?
在附近，里德被简单地称为艺术家，比如，嘿艺术家，你的壁画要多少钱？
Reid charges between $50 and $200.
里德收费在 50 美元到 200 美元之间。
When he started painting apartment walls, the thing that most people requested were panthers, often in black and gold to match their furniture.
当他开始粉刷公寓墙壁时，大多数人要求的是黑豹，通常是黑色和金色，以搭配他们的家具。
But soon, Reid got other requests.
但很快，里德就收到了其他请求。
And I said, "Uh oh.
我说：“呃哦。
Another good idea."
又一个好主意。”
She said, "I don't want no panthers," she told me, "I want just a sky here with water and trees."
她说，“我不想要黑豹，”她告诉我，“我只想要这里有水和树的天空。”
I said, "Okay, you want something like a landscape, right?
我说：“好吧，你想要风景之类的东西，对吗？
Something like that."
类似的事情。”
"And I want the sun coming off the water, all the shininess."
“我想要阳光从水面上照下来，所有的光泽。”
I said, "I understand, I know exactly what you're talking about.
我说：“我明白，我完全知道你在说什么。
Let me try to make you feel good.
让我试着让你感觉良好。
So all my customers started doing it.
所以我所有的客户都开始这样做。
Most of the people take pictures of them and their girlfriends standing by the landscape like they're out there.
大多数人都会给他们和他们的女朋友站在风景边拍照，就像他们在外面一样。
They say, "Oh, it looks so real.
他们说：“哦，看起来很真实。
Look at the--" I come to their house, they show me a photograph.
看看——”我来到他们家，他们给我看了一张照片。
They say "Don't let nobody else see." I look at it.
他们说“不要让别人看到”。我看着它。
I say, oh no. Here she is, her and her man standing up naked by the landscape.
我说，哦不。她就在这里，她和她的男人赤身裸体地站在风景旁。
Or you'll see the man lying down like they're at the lake or something.
或者你会看到那个人躺着，就像他们在湖边什么的。
They say, "It looks so real, doesn't it?"
他们说：“看起来很真实，不是吗？”
I say, "Yeah." OK, front room.
我说：“是的。”好的，前厅。
You either want a panther or you want a landscape.
你要么想要一只黑豹，要么想要一片风景。
In a kid's room it was always a cartoon.
在孩子的房间里，永远都是动画片。
In a bathroom, it was always dolphin, fish, or ducks.
浴室里总是有海豚、鱼或鸭子。
It couldn't be anything else.
不可能是别的什么。
I hate to tell you, but some people have some weird imaginations.
我不想告诉你，但有些人有一些奇怪的想象力。
I'm sitting up here doing some work and this girl had me draw this guy standing by a tree taking a leak, right?
我正坐在这里做一些工作，这个女孩让我画了一个站在树边撒尿的家伙，对吗？
Now OK, I did this, right?
现在好吧，我做到了，对吗？
But the oddest thing happened with this girl.
但最奇怪的事情发生在这个女孩身上。
She called me back down the next day.
第二天她又打电话给我。
"I want you to draw Jesus Christ on that wall right there.
“我希望你在那面墙上画耶稣基督。
I want that in color.
我想要那个彩色的。
And I'm giving you $50."
我给你 50 美元。”
I said, "Yeah, but can't you understand?
我说：“是啊，但是你难道不明白吗？
You've got a guy right here peeing on a wall and you got Jesus right here."
这里有一个人在墙上撒尿，而耶稣就在这里。”
She said, "I'm paying you $50.
她说：“我付给你 50 美元。
You going to do it or not?" Let me do what the customer says.
你做还是不做？”让我按照客户说的做。
So I do it, right?
所以我就这么做，对吗？
Then I have people come out with, "Ohh, I saw that Jesus Christ you drew on her-- can you draw Jesus for me?" So I start putting Jesus on people's wall.
然后有人出来说：“哦，我看到你在她身上画了耶稣基督——你能为我画耶稣吗？”所以我开始把耶稣贴在人们的墙上。
Then they'll say, "Why did you draw my Jesus that dark?
然后他们会说：“你为什么把我的耶稣画得那么黑？
I want my Jesus white." Most people want-- most of them wanted Jesus white, right?
我想要我的耶稣是白色的。”大多数人都想要——他们中的大多数人都想要耶稣是白色的，对吗？
And I said, "Well really, Jesus really wasn't white.
我说：“好吧，耶稣真的不是白人。
He was a--"
他是一个——”
"Look, I'm paying you.
“你看，我付钱给你。
You do it the way I say to do it.
你按照我说的方式去做。
I know how he looked."
我知道他的样子。”
I said, "OK, I guess you're right." Because see, they probably met Jesus in person, so.
我说：“好吧，我想你是对的。”因为看，他们可能亲自见过耶稣，所以。
I had a guy mention something like-- he told me it really hurt me when I found out.
我有一个人提到过这样的话——他告诉我，当我发现时，我真的很受伤。
And he said, "Remember you drew me and my wife on the wall?"
他说：“还记得你把我和我的妻子画在墙上吗？”
I said, "Yeah, I remember that."
我说：“是的，我记得。”
He said, "I want you to draw it again in the other room, me and her and a kid, because we've got a kid now."
他说：“我希望你在另一个房间再画一遍，我和她还有一个孩子，因为我们现在有了一个孩子。”
OK, I've got to drawing it, right?
好吧，我得把它画出来，对吗？
I didn't know until I finished.
直到我完成后我才知道。
He told me, "My wife passed.
他告诉我：“我的妻子去世了。
She died." A lot of people started having me do that, of their people that died.
她死了。”很多人开始让我这样做，他们的人都死了。
You know, around the Robert Taylor there were so many deaths, where young people just shooting each other, killing each other.
你知道，罗伯特·泰勒周围发生了很多死亡事件，年轻人互相开枪，互相残杀。
The oddest request I ever had in my life-- here goes.
这是我一生中遇到过的最奇怪的请求——就这样吧。
We're in the Robert Taylor standing up and we're on about the 10th floor.
我们站在罗伯特·泰勒 (Robert Taylor) 大楼里，大约在 10 楼。
She said, "I want you to paint my whole wall like there's no wall here at all, like you can look right outside.
她说：“我希望你把我的整面墙漆成这样，就像这里根本没有墙一样，就像你可以直接看到外面一样。
I say, "OK, I understand what you're saying.
我说：“好吧，我明白你在说什么。
You want me to draw where it's like a whole wall's been busted out right here, so you can walk in your house-- when you open her door and look in her house it'll be just like you're looking right outside.
你想让我画出这里就像一整堵墙被拆除一样，这样你就可以走进你的房子——当你打开她的门并向她的房子里看时，就像你在外面看一样。
You'll see the clouds, you'll see the highrises downtown.
你会看到云彩，你会看到市中心的高楼。
OK, now, that's not what really makes it odd.
好吧，现在这并不是真正让人感到奇怪的地方。
It's what she had me do when I came back the next week.
这就是我下周回来时她让我做的事情。
And this is what she had me do.
这就是她让我做的。
"Now, I want you to draw me standing right here on the side.
“现在，我要你画我站在一边。
Just draw me, you're going to draw the back of my head, something like this.
只要画我，你就会画我的后脑勺，就像这样。
You're going to draw this part of me doing this." Her right hand is going forward and her right feet, everything is forward, right?
你要画出我这样做的这一部分。”她的右手向前，右脚向前，一切都向前，对吗？
It's just like a wrecking crew came along and just tore that part out and she has her arms sticking out there like that outside the window.
就好像一个救援人员过来把那部分拆掉，而她的手臂就这样伸出窗外。
And I couldn't understand her.
我无法理解她。
Why would you want me to draw you doing like this?
为什么要我把你画成这个样子？
Maybe she's dancing.
也许她在跳舞。
Or maybe she wants me to draw her, making it like she's pushing her hand out there so she can feel the air out there.
或者也许她想让我画她，让她把手伸出去，这样她就能感觉到外面的空气。
So I did it and I charged her.
所以我就这么做了，并向她收费。
And guess what she wanted?
猜猜她想要什么？
She didn't tell me until I finished painting her.
直到我画完她，她才告诉我。
She said, "OK, down here, I want you to draw my man.
她说：“好吧，在这里，我要你画我的男人。
So it should appear that he's further away from me.
这么看来，他离我应该更远了。
So you make him small."
所以你把他变小了。”
I said, "I know how to draw.
我说：“我会画画。
I know about perspective.
我了解透视。
His feet were sticking up to the sky.
他的脚伸到了天空。
And his hands were going down.
他的手垂了下来。
You could see his mouth open real wide and in perspective, a foreshortening, you'll see one of his feet coming this way in a big shoe.
你可以看到他的嘴张得很大，从透视角度来看，你会看到他的一只脚穿着一只大鞋朝这边走来。
Because he has one leg going way back and the other leg going further, closer to you.
因为他的一条腿向后走，另一条腿走得更远，离你更近。
That lady-- I actually drew this lady pushing this man out the window.
那位女士——我实际上画了这位女士将这个男人推出窗外。
Once they tear all the Robert Taylors down, which they're going to eventually do, it won't decrease my business.
一旦他们拆掉了所有的罗伯特·泰勒（他们最终会这样做），这不会减少我的生意。
It will only increase.
它只会增加。
I know that.
我知道。
I'm working.
我在工作。
I'm doing more work now than I've ever done in homes.
我现在做的工作比以前在家里做的还要多。
Most of them are getting are Section Eight, and I'm going to other new row houses in Milwaukee and Calumet.
他们中的大多数都住在第八区，我要去密尔沃基和卡鲁梅特的其他新排屋。
They have me paint exactly the same thing they had in their house before.
他们让我画的东西和他们以前在家里画的东西一模一样。
They say, "I want the same thing from where you had my house looking.
他们说：“我想要和你在我的房子里看到的一样的东西。
I want it just like that."
我想要的就是这样。”
The real trend that's really going on now-- since they are tearing down the Robert Taylors-- they want me to come to their home and paint the Robert Taylor Homes in their front room.
现在真正流行的趋势是——自从他们拆掉罗伯特·泰勒家——他们希望我去他们家，在他们的前厅粉刷罗伯特·泰勒家。
When you first walk in that door-- when you first open the door up, the first thing you'll see is the projects.
当你第一次走进那扇门时——当你第一次打开门时，你首先看到的就是项目。
And you say, "Ah, they've been torn down a long time ago." And the first that comes to your mind, "You used to live in a Robert Taylor." And they want everybody to know this.
你说：“啊，它们很久以前就被拆掉了。”你首先想到的就是“你曾经住在罗伯特·泰勒的房子里。”他们希望每个人都知道这一点。
Milton Reid, he spoke with reporter Alex Kotlowitz whose most recent book is The Other Side of the River .
米尔顿·里德（Milton Reid）与记者亚历克斯·科特洛维茨（Alex Kotlowitz）进行了交谈，后者的最新著作是《河的另一边》。
His story was produced by Amy Dorn.
他的故事由艾米·多恩制作。
Coming up, porn.
即将到来，色情片。
You heard me.
你听到了。
Porn.
A片。
That's in a minute from Public Radio International and Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
距离国际公共广播电台和芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后，我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Give the People What They Want, stories of people whose thankless job is to do just that.
今天的节目《给人们他们想要的东西》讲述了人们的故事，他们的吃力不讨好的工作就是做到这一点。
We have arrived at Act Four of our show-- Act Four, Handing People Their Dreams.
我们已经到了节目的第四幕——第四幕，让人们实现梦想。
For over a year, Ali Davis has been working at a video store for $6.50 an hour, giving people their fantasies.
一年多来，阿里·戴维斯 (Ali Davis) 一直在音像店工作，每小时 6.5 美元，给人们带来幻想。
What I mean by that, of course, is that there is a huge porn section downstairs and she helps people get their porn.
当然，我的意思是楼下有一个巨大的色情区域，她帮助人们获取色情内容。
She watches customers in the security cameras, she has this "Voice of God" microphone she can use to boom her voice down there when she needs to-- and she does sometimes.
她通过安全摄像头观察顾客，她有一个“上帝之声”麦克风，当她需要时，她可以用它来大声说话——有时她会这样做。
She has these true tales to tell.
她有这些真实的故事要讲。
A note to listeners, there is nothing explicit in these stories.
请听众注意，这些故事中没有任何明确的内容。
No sex acts are mentioned at all.
根本没有提到性行为。
Nothing.
没有什么。
But it is about porn.
但这是关于色情的。
We all abuse the hand sanitizer.
我们都滥用洗手液。
I know that over-the-counter antibacterial products are bad.
我知道非处方抗菌产品不好。
I know that they actually give rise to hideous, resistant strains of bacteria.
我知道它们实际上会产生可怕的、具有耐药性的细菌菌株。
But still, we all abuse the hand sanitizer.
但我们仍然滥用洗手液。
We just can't help it.
我们就是无能为力。
I use it so much that I lose all finger traction and can't open our plastic bags.
我经常使用它，以至于手指失去了牵引力，无法打开塑料袋。
I've had days when I've used it so much that I can't even make fingerprints on the glass countertop.
有几天我用它太多了，以至于我什至无法在玻璃台面上留下指纹。
It freaks me out.
这让我很害怕。
But the thought of not using it is worse.
但一想到不使用它就更糟糕了。
Contamination is everywhere.
污染无处不在。
I see people sneezing onto the tape cases.
我看到人们对着磁带盒打喷嚏。
They cough wetly into their palms right before handing me change.
他们在递给我零钱之前，用手掌咳嗽了一声。
But the worst thing is when the tapes come back slippery, or worse yet, sticky.
但最糟糕的是，磁带回来时很滑，或者更糟糕的是，很粘。
Repeat offenders get a note on their file that says, "Lube Warning." The first time, we discreetly but firmly remind the customer that the tapes need to come back clean.
屡犯者的档案上会收到一条注释，上面写着“润滑油警告”。第一次，我们谨慎但坚定地提醒客户，带回来的胶带需要干净。
The second time, we hand them the tape, a bottle of Windex, and a paper towel and tell them to clean off the tape in full view of whoever else is at the counter.
第二次，我们递给他们胶带、一瓶 Windex 和一张纸巾，并告诉他们在柜台旁其他人的视线下清除胶带。
Other than that, there's not much we can do except acknowledge the destruction of the polite fiction.
除此之外，除了承认礼貌小说的毁灭之外，我们无能为力。
The polite fiction is something nobody really believes but we all pretend to because it makes life so much easier.
礼貌的虚构是没有人真正相信的东西，但我们都假装相信，因为它让生活变得更加轻松。
An anthropology professor once told me a story about a pygmy couple.
一位人类学教授曾经给我讲过一个关于侏儒夫妇的故事。
Pygmy divorce involves, quite literally, breaking up the home.
俾格米人离婚，毫不夸张地说，意味着家庭破裂。
The couple tears apart their house and once it's down, the union is dissolved.
这对夫妇拆毁了他们的房子，一旦房子倒塌，婚姻也就解散了。
One anthropologist was watching a long-married couple have a fight.
一位人类学家正在观察一对结婚多年的夫妇打架。
It escalated until the wife threatened to leave, and the husband yelled something along the lines of "Fine." And so, there was nothing the wife could do but start tearing down the house.
事情不断升级，直到妻子威胁要离开，丈夫大喊“好吧”。于是，妻子没有办法，只能开始拆房子。
She began tearing off the leaves that made up the roof, clearly miserable.
她开始撕下构成屋顶的叶子，显然很痛苦。
The husband looked wretched too.
丈夫看上去也很可怜。
But at this point, neither could back down without losing face.
但事到如今，谁都无法退缩，不丢面子。
And by now, the whole village was watching.
而此时，全村人都在观看。
Finally, the husband called out the Pygmy equivalent of, "You're right, honey, the roof is dirty.
最后，丈夫用俾格米语的方式喊道：“亲爱的，你是对的，屋顶很脏。
It'll look much better once we get those leaves washed." The two of them started carrying leaves down to the river, soon with the help of the whole village, and then washed and rebuilt the roof-- a whole village happily indulging each other.
一旦我们把这些叶子洗干净了，它看起来就会好多了。”两人开始把树叶搬到河边，很快全村人都帮忙，然后又清洗、重建屋顶，全村人都高兴地互相溺爱。
The polite fiction of our village, the porn section village, is that while people do generally use porn for the purpose of self-pleasuring, there is no reason to believe that this particular customer will be doing so.
我们村子（色情片村）的礼貌虚构是，虽然人们通常出于自我愉悦的目的使用色情片，但没有理由相信这个特定的顾客会这样做。
For all we know, he's taking them to a stag party, or watching them as a joke with his girlfriend, or using them for research on his master's thesis.
据我们所知，他带它们去参加单身派对，或者把它们当作和女朋友的笑话，或者用它们来研究他的硕士论文。
When it becomes graphically, tangibly, clear that that's not the case, we all get uncomfortable.
当事实清楚地、明显地表明事实并非如此时，我们都会感到不舒服。
The destruction of the polite fiction is what creeps me out about one of my weekend regulars.
礼貌小说的破坏让我对我的一位周末常客感到毛骨悚然。
He comes in when I open at 9:00, then chooses and rents two movies.
当我 9:00 开门时，他进来了，然后选择并租了两部电影。
He leaves for exactly two movies worth of time, then comes back and returns them.
他出去看了两部电影，然后回来把它们归还。
I hate it because there's no way to pretend he's been doing anything else.
我讨厌它，因为没有办法假装他一直在做其他事情。
Even a grad student has to stop the tape to take down notes occasionally.
即使是研究生也偶尔需要停下来记笔记。
I'm convinced that porn is like alcohol.
我坚信色情就像酒精一样。
Some people can stop at just one every now and then.
有些人偶尔会只停留在一个地方。
Some people binge on weekends.
有些人在周末暴饮暴食。
And some people are genuinely, horribly addicted.
有些人真的上瘾了。
Most of my customers skew towards light porn rental.
我的大多数客户都倾向于轻色情租赁。
I see maybe half of them enough to sort of know who they are.
我看到其中一半足以知道他们是谁。
And of those, maybe half again are heavy renters.
其中，也许还有一半是重度租房者。
A few tip into the danger zone-- six movies, every single day.
有些人会陷入危险地带——每天六部电影。
Even with specials and frequent renter cards they end up spending thousands of dollars a year.
即使有特价商品和常客卡，他们最终还是每年花费数千美元。
On weekends, the store fills up almost immediately.
周末，商店几乎立刻就满了。
The store opens at 9:00.
商店于 9:00 开门。
I usually do about 20 minutes of set up and hit the front door at 9:00 on the dot by the store clock.
我通常会花大约 20 分钟的时间进行设置，然后在商店时钟准时 9:00 准时到达前门。
There is always someone waiting to get to the porn.
总有人等着看色情片。
Twice I've had a problem to deal with and opened the door at, say, 9:02.
有两次我遇到问题要处理并在 9 点 02 分打开门。
In both cases, a guy was actually pounding on the door when I got to it, not the same guy either.
在这两种情况下，当我到达时，实际上是一个人在敲门，但也不是同一个人。
Both guys almost flipped out when I took the time to slide the sign from "Closed," to "Open" before turning the lock.
当我在转动锁之前花时间将标志从“关闭”滑动到“打开”时，两个人都快疯了。
When I first started at the store, this scared the hell out of me.
当我第一次来到这家商店时，这把我吓坏了。
I assumed that anyone who needed porn before noon was automatically a pervert.
我认为任何在中午之前需要色情内容的人都会自动成为变态。
That was until I got to know them.
直到我认识他们。
If you don't count the porn addiction, they're really not such bad guys.
如果不算色情成瘾的话，他们还真没那么坏。
Mr. Orange Hat is a registered nurse and leapt to my defense when another customer pitched a fit at me.
橙帽先生是一名注册护士，当另一位顾客向我发脾气时，他跳出来为我辩护。
Mr. Glasses is always announcing stuff like, "It's that kind of personal service that sets your store apart from Blockbuster." The over-friendliness itself is sort of creepy, as is the way he sort of doesn't blink enough and doesn't know that most business transactions don't really involve sustained eye contact.
眼镜先生总是宣称，“正是这种个性化服务使您的商店与百视达区别开来。”过度友好本身就有点令人毛骨悚然，因为他眨眼的次数不够，而且不知道大多数商业交易并不真正涉及持续的目光接触。
But I know that he's just trying his hardest, in his own mutant way, to be friendly.
但我知道他只是在尽最大努力，以他自己变种的方式，表现出友好。
Mr. Creaky was old and feeble but would rent a stack of disturbingly violent cartoon porn from Japan at least once a week.
吱吱先生年老体弱，但每周至少会从日本租用一堆令人不安的暴力卡通色情内容。
He always had the same patter as he came up to the register, "Do you watch that show, The Sopranos ?"
当他走到收银台前时，他总是说同样的话：“你看那个节目《黑道家族》吗？”
"No, sir." "I hear it's pretty good."
“不，先生。” “听说还不错。”
"Yes, sir.
“是的，先生。
That's what I hear too."
我也是这么听到的。”
"I'd like to watch that show but I can't.
“我想看那个节目，但我不能。
There's too much cussing."
骂人的话太多了。”
And then, clever ruse in place, he would put in his request for Demon Beast .
然后，他巧妙的计谋到位，将自己对妖兽的要求提出来。
There is an interesting phenomenon that I've witnessed happen over and over again in the store.
我在店里多次目睹过一个有趣的现象。
I call it the porn trance.
我称之为色情恍惚。
We have two rooms of floor to ceiling boxes.
我们有两个房间的落地包厢。
People in the porn trance methodically look at every single one in their section.
处于色情恍惚状态的人们有条不紊地查看他们所在区域中的每一个。
I see people look at box after box for two hours at a stretch all the time, and three hours is not uncommon.
我看到人们总是连续两个小时看一个又一个盒子，三个小时的情况并不少见。
They don't hear announcements over the "Voice of God" microphone until you get drastic.
除非你变得激烈，否则他们不会听到“上帝之声”麦克风的公告。
"You in the red jacket with the baseball cap, you-- we're closing.
“你穿着红色夹克，戴着棒球帽，你——我们要打烊了。
Bring up your movies right now or you don't get to rent anything at all."
现在就把你的电影拿出来，否则你根本就租不到任何东西。”
Lone porn renters go into the trance almost immediately and resent being pulled out.
孤独的色情片租客几乎立刻就会进入恍惚状态，并不愿意被拉出来。
Couples do not go into porn trance.
情侣不会陷入色情恍惚状态。
There has already been a great deal of negotiating in getting both parties down there together.
为了让双方走到一起，已经进行了大量谈判。
If either partner gets even a tiny fraction more interested in a porn star body than the other, the delicate balance-- and quite possibly the relationship-- is destroyed.
如果任何一方对色情明星的身体比另一方更感兴趣，那么微妙的平衡——很可能是这种关系——就会被破坏。
For what it's worth, straight couples are rare in the porn section.
无论如何，异性恋情侣在色情片中很少见。
Group renters never intend to go into the porn trance.
团体租客从来没有打算进入色情恍惚状态。
They start out laughing together, pointing at the boxes and reading particularly ludicrous copy out loud.
他们开始一起大笑，指着盒子，大声朗读特别可笑的文案。
And then one by one they see something that really strikes them.
然后他们一一看到真正令他们震惊的东西。
And one by one, they get sucked in until the porn section is quiet again.
他们一一被吸引，直到色情区再次安静下来。
Our store is deliberately designed to make the porn section hard to get to.
我们的商店经过精心设计，让色情专区变得难以进入。
We want people to have to pass the register so the clerk can see them.
我们希望人们必须通过收银台，以便店员可以看到他们。
And we make them snake through the shelves a bit so it's hard for kids to get down there.
我们让它们在架子上蜿蜒一点，这样孩子们就很难爬到那里。
Turns out, though, it was a nearly impossible gauntlet for a wheelchair.
但事实证明，这对轮椅来说几乎是不可能的挑战。
The guy in the wheelchair was surprisingly nice about it.
坐在轮椅上的那个人对此出奇地友善。
This guy had to wait more than an hour for a special cab to pick him up.
这家伙等了一个多小时才有一辆专门的出租车来接他。
Then he had to get over our doorstep, which is wheelchair accessible in a theoretical sense at best, and weave his way through two tight aisles and around three corners.
然后他必须跨过我们的家门口（从理论上来说，轮椅最多可以通行），然后穿过两条狭窄的过道并绕过三个拐角。
The first path he tried ended up being too narrow and he got stuck and had to back up and try another route.
他尝试的第一条路太窄了，他被困住了，不得不后退并尝试另一条路。
And then, after all that, he hit a staircase.
然后，在这一切之后，他登上了楼梯。
Luckily, he could walk a bit.
幸运的是，他还能走一点路。
He took the railing with one hand and my arm in the other and we went down.
他一只手抓住栏杆，另一只手握住我的手臂，我们就下了楼。
Then I went back and brought the chair down for him.
然后我回去给他把椅子搬下来。
I was torn between sticking around to help and giving the poor guy some privacy.
我在留下来帮忙和给这个可怜的家伙一些隐私之间左右为难。
I went with moderate privacy, leaving him alone and checking out the security camera every now and then until it looked like he was done, then going down to help him back up.
我带着适度的隐私去了，让他独自一人，时不时地检查安全摄像头，直到看起来他已经完成了，然后下去帮助他备份。
And then he had to wait over an hour yet again for another taxi, which never showed.
然后他又不得不等了一个多小时才等到另一辆出租车，但出租车始终没有出现。
We finally hailed him one, and a friend of mine helped me help him into the cab, bringing the total number of people who had helpfully intruded on his porn rental to six.
我们终于向他打了招呼，我的一位朋友帮助我把他扶进了出租车，使帮助闯入他的色情出租店的人数达到了六人。
I think the whole trip took him about four hours.
我想整个行程他花了大约四个小时。
Except to return the videos he hasn't been back.
除了归还视频他还没有回来。
And I can't say I blame him.
我不能说我责怪他。
To do what most of our customers do with complete privacy and no thought, took him four humiliating hours.
为了完全隐私地、不假思索地做我们大多数客户所做的事情，他花了四个小时。
Before he came in, I didn't think of the ability to rent porn with speed and discretion as a basic human right, but now I sort of do.
在他进来之前，我并不认为能够快速、谨慎地出租色情内容是一项基本人权，但现在我有点这么认为了。
It's stupid, but I do still feel an odd swell of pride about what I'm doing every now and then.
这很愚蠢，但我仍然时不时地对自己所做的事情感到一种奇怪的自豪感。
Immigrants from repressed nations sign up for memberships, go downstairs, and for the first time in their lives see porn.
来自受压迫国家的移民注册成为会员，下楼，生平第一次看到色情片。
Elderly gay men suddenly have an outlet.
年长的男同性恋者突然有了一个出路。
Guys who have had a rough day at the office are going to have a relaxing evening, if not a quiet one.
在办公室度过了艰难的一天的人们将度过一个轻松的夜晚，即使不是一个安静的夜晚。
If I make it to the security monitor in time, I can see their faces light up.
如果我及时到达安全监视器，我可以看到他们的脸都亮了起来。
Ali Davis.
阿里·戴维斯.
When she's not doing her day job, she is in the improv troop, Baby Wants Candy, which does an improvised musical every Friday and Saturday night at the Improv Olympic Theater in Chicago.
当她不做日常工作时，她就加入了即兴剧团“宝贝想要糖果”，该剧团每周五和周六晚上在芝加哥的即兴奥林匹克剧院上演即兴音乐剧。
Act Five, What Daddy Wants.
第五幕，爸爸想要什么。
A family is a complicated ecosystem when it comes to giving people what they want.
在给予人们想要的东西方面，家庭是一个复杂的生态系统。
Often, as with any gift, people give each other the things that they would want themselves.
通常，与任何礼物一样，人们会互相赠送自己想要的东西。
Curtis Sittenfeld has seen it all at work in her own family.
柯蒂斯·西滕菲尔德 (Curtis Sittenfeld) 在她自己的家庭中亲眼目睹了这一切。
In January, 1999, under the supervision of doctors, my father began a liquid diet.
1999年1月，在医生的指导下，父亲开始流质饮食。
For five months, he ate no solid food and all he drank were chocolate flavored protein shakes.
五个月来，他没有吃任何固体食物，只喝巧克力味的蛋白质奶昔。
It was exciting and disorienting to see how rapidly a thinner, quicker, younger-seeming man emerged from inside my father's padding.
看到一个更瘦、更快、看起来更年轻的男人如此迅速地从我父亲的垫子里出现，我既兴奋又迷失方向。
The diet loomed so large in all our lives that my sister, Tiernan and I dreamt about it regularly.
饮食在我们的生活中占据着如此重要的地位，以至于我和姐姐蒂尔南经常梦见它。
By June, my dad had lost more than 100 pounds and it was time to switch to normal food.
到 6 月，我爸爸减掉了 100 多磅体重，是时候改吃普通食物了。
Within a year and a half, he gained back all the weight.
一年半之内，他的体重全部恢复了。
It seems like my father has tried every weight-loss scheme there is.
看来我父亲已经尝试了所有的减肥方案。
He's done 12-step programs and hypnosis, and one diet that consisted of eating all bananas one day, all tuna fish the next, and so on.
他完成了 12 步计划和催眠，以及一种饮食，其中包括一天吃所有香蕉，第二天吃所有金枪鱼，依此类推。
Early last winter, my father called to tell me he was tackling his weight problem once again.
去年冬初，我父亲打电话告诉我他正在再次解决体重问题。
After all the diets in the past, I was skeptical.
在经历了过去的所有饮食之后，我对此表示怀疑。
But this plan sounded a little different.
但这个计划听起来有点不同。
He had been referred to a woman known around Cincinnati as "The Diet Nazi." For reasons that are too complicated to go into, this woman has asked me not to use her real name.
他被称为“辛辛那提饮食纳粹”的一位女士。由于过于复杂的原因，这位女士要求我不要使用她的真名。
Or more precisely, she told me if I did, she'd slit my throat.
或者更准确地说，她告诉我，如果我这样做，她就会割断我的喉咙。
Therefore, I am calling her Doris.
因此，我叫她多丽丝。
As my father explained to me, Doris is not a nutritionist, not a physical trainer, and not a therapist.
正如我父亲向我解释的那样，多丽丝不是营养师，不是体能教练，也不是治疗师。
She's a 68-year-old woman who lost 160 pounds on her own, 35 years ago and ever since then has been helping other people who are seriously overweight.
她是一位 68 岁的女性，35 年前独自减掉了 160 磅体重，从那时起她就一直在帮助其他严重超重的人。
She tells them exactly what they can and can't eat, down to the quantity and brand, and how much they should exercise.
她准确地告诉他们可以吃什么、不能吃什么，包括数量和品牌，以及应该锻炼多少。
She also requires them to call her every night and come to her house to weigh in once a week.
她还要求他们每晚给她打电话，每周到她家称体重一次。
Basically, she's a nag for hire.
基本上来说，她是个在雇用方面喋喋不休的人。
All right, so Paul, you did everything I told you last week?
好吧，保罗，你做了我上周告诉你的一切吗？
I haven't been exercising twice a day, I've been exercising once a day.
我不是每天锻炼两次，而是每天锻炼一次。
That's not good.
那不好。
You've got to give up some of your workload--
你必须放弃一些工作量——
My father and Doris are meeting, as they do every week, in the living room of the suburban house she shares with her husband.
我的父亲和多丽丝每周都会在她与丈夫合住的郊区房子的客厅里见面。
Doris sees all her clients in individual meetings on Thursdays.
多丽丝在周四的单独会议上会见她的所有客户。
So in the morning, she brings out a scale and sets it on a special white square of carpet.
所以早上，她拿出一个秤，把它放在一块特殊的白色方块地毯上。
Is your choice still the flakes in the morning?
你的选择还是早上的雪花吗？
Yes, I've been having that.
是的，我一直有这样的经历。
The flakes, some Grape-Nuts, a banana, and skim milk.
这些薄片、一些葡萄坚果、一根香蕉和脱脂牛奶。
I don't like oatmeal.
我不喜欢燕麦片。
Doris OK, do you like egg whites?
多丽丝 好的，你喜欢蛋清吗？
With yolks.
带蛋黄。
Doris No, not with the yolks.
多丽丝 不，不是蛋黄。
No. Doris You can have three egg whites with some green pepper and some--
不，多丽丝，你可以吃三个蛋清，加一些青椒和一些——
Well, that's too bad.
嗯，那太糟糕了。
What you hate is good for you.
你讨厌的东西对你有好处。
The first time my dad met Doris, she greeted him at the door wearing a Snoopy night shirt and no shoes.
我爸爸第一次见到多丽丝时，她穿着史努比睡衣，没穿鞋，在门口迎接他。
At the time, my dad was afraid she'd forgotten he was coming over.
当时，我爸爸担心她忘记了他要过来。
Later, he learned that she always wears night shirts when she sees clients.
后来他才知道，她见客户时总是穿着睡衣。
You have your bottles and make sure you get your gallon to gallon and a half of water down a day.
你带着瓶子，确保每天喝一加仑到一加仑半的水。
That I've been doing.
我一直在做的事。
In fact, I may have an accident sitting here.
事实上，我坐在这里可能会发生意外。
When my dad started seeing Doris, the thing that excited me was the fact that he seemed intimidated by her.
当我父亲开始见到多丽丝时，令我兴奋的是他似乎被她吓到了。
Finally, here was someone who would stand up to him.
终于，有人能站出来对抗他了。
One night, my dad called Doris for his mandatory check-in and he confessed to her that he hadn't had the chance to exercise that day.
一天晚上，我爸爸打电话给多丽丝强制办理入住手续，他向她坦白说他那天没有机会锻炼。
"Bullshit to that," Dorris cried.
“胡说，”多丽丝喊道。
"Put on your shoes and go to the gym right now." The amazing part was that my father obeyed her.
“现在就穿上鞋子，去健身房吧。”令人惊奇的是我父亲服从了她。
He changed his clothes and drove to the gym with my sister Josephine and me.
他换了衣服，和我妹妹约瑟芬和我一起开车去健身房。
In his first month working with Doris, even though it was the holiday season, my father lost 14 pounds.
在与多丽丝一起工作的第一个月，尽管是假期，我父亲还是减掉了 14 磅。
This might be an appropriate place for me to tell you that I don't know exactly how much father weighs, and I don't want to know.
在这里也许是一个合适的地方告诉你，我不知道父亲到底有多重，而且我也不想知道。
What I can tell you is this: he's 5'11" and he said recently that if he lost 150 pounds he would not be excessively thin.
我可以告诉你的是：他身高5英尺11英寸，他最近表示，如果他减掉150磅，他也不会太瘦。
In a way, the fact that my dad struggles with his weight is utterly ordinary.
从某种程度上来说，我父亲与体重作斗争的事实是很平常的。
It often seems like the majority of Americans are either obese or on a diet or both.
大多数美国人似乎要么肥胖，要么正在节食，或者两者兼而有之。
But my father's weight problem never feels ordinary to me.
但我父亲的体重问题对我来说从来都不是一件平常的事。
Instead, it feels sad and specific and incredibly complicated.
相反，它让人感到悲伤、具体和极其复杂。
The part I feel most confused by is what my role in the situation should be.
我感到最困惑的是我在这种情况下应该扮演什么角色。
When I try to get my father to eat better, is it an act of love or is it just nagging?
当我试图让父亲吃得更好时，这是一种爱的行为还是只是唠叨？
And if it's nagging, isn't it justified when so much is at stake?
如果它很烦人，那么在如此多的利害关系下，这不是合理的吗？
Not only does my dad face serious health risks like a heart attack or stroke, but he also has trouble with his back, gets cramps in his legs, and is easily winded.
我父亲不仅面临心脏病或中风等严重的健康风险，而且他的背部也有问题，腿部抽筋，而且容易上气不接下气。
He also sleep apnea, which means that to regulate his breathing at night, he uses what looks like a beige scuba mask attached by a tube to an air machine.
他还患有睡眠呼吸暂停症，这意味着为了在晚上调节呼吸，他使用了一个看起来像米色潜水面罩的东西，通过一根管子连接到空气机上。
All of this would be enough to make me worry, but I also am bothered by something else.
所有这些都足以让我担心，但我也有别的事情困扰。
When people meet my father for the first time, I'm afraid that all they see is a fat man.
人们第一次见到我父亲的时候，恐怕看到的都是一个胖子。
You know when you're on a plane and you see an obese guy heading down the aisle and you're hoping he isn't coming for the seat next to yours, and then he does stop at your row and he sits down beside you and maybe he needs to ask the flight attendant for a seat belt extension, and you're either cringing or trying not to cringe as he spills over the armrest into your space.
你知道，当你在飞机上时，你看到一个肥胖的家伙沿着过道走来，你希望他不会来抢你旁边的座位，然后他确实在你的排停下来，坐在你旁边，也许他需要向空乘人员索要延长安全带，当他从扶手上溢出到你的空间时，你要么感到畏缩，要么试图不畏缩。
I don't like it that the man you're having those feelings about is my father.
我不喜欢你对我父亲有这种感觉。
[SINGING IN OPERA STYLE] Curtis Sittenfeld Here's my dad on a typical evening at home.
[歌剧风格的演唱] Curtis Sittenfeld 这是我父亲在家里度过的一个典型的夜晚。
He's sitting at the kitchen table opening the mail while my mom cooks dinner.
当我妈妈做饭时，他坐在厨房的桌子旁打开邮件。
Even if my dad weren't big, he'd stand out.
即使我的父亲身材不大，他也会脱颖而出。
He's loud and he likes to tell jokes and stories.
他声音很大，喜欢讲笑话和故事。
He genuinely loves doing things for other people.
他真诚地喜欢为别人做事。
He'll invite you over for dinner if he suspects you're lonely or take soup to you when you're sick.
如果他怀疑你孤独，他会邀请你去吃晚饭，或者在你生病时给你端汤。
He's a volunteer on about 15 boards, which is actually fewer than he used to be on.
他是大约 15 个委员会的志愿者，这实际上比他以前在的委员会要少。
And he works as an investment adviser.
他担任投资顾问。
He's incredibly busy, which is one reason he eats too much.
他非常忙，这也是他吃得太多的原因之一。
It's a coping mechanism.
这是一种应对机制。
And I guess it's when somebody else would take a drink, smoke a cigarette, kick at the cat, whatever kind of not very productive and wholly irrelevant response.
我猜是当其他人会喝酒、抽烟、踢猫，或者做出任何一种不太有效且完全无关的反应时。
This is nothing that I pre-plan.
这不是我预先计划好的。
My family members deal with my dad's weight in different ways.
我的家人以不同的方式应对我父亲的体重。
The one person who never nags him is my mother, who is perpetually optimistic.
唯一一个从不唠叨他的人就是我的母亲，她永远乐观。
My father appreciates this.
我父亲对此表示赞赏。
If I've been dieting, she'll say-- within the first three or four hours-- I think you're already beginning to look a little bit thinner.
如果我一直在节食，她会说——在最初的三四个小时内——我想你已经开始看起来瘦了一些。
My two sisters ask about my dad's diets and exercise, but they don't push it.
我的两个姐妹询问我父亲的饮食和锻炼情况，但她们并不强迫。
My brother P.G.
我的兄弟 P.G.
and I are considered the confrontational ones.
我被认为是对抗性的。
It especially gets under our skin when my dad kids himself about what he's eating.
当我爸爸为自己吃的东西而自欺欺人时，这尤其让我们感到恼火。
You can't knock someone when they believe something's true.
当某人相信某件事是真的时，你不能敲他。
It's kind of like, well, OK, I'm not going to have rib roast for lunch.
有点像，好吧，我午餐不吃烤肋骨。
I'm having lobster.
我要吃龙虾
It came from the sea.
它来自大海。
And it's this natural food.
这就是这种天然食品。
But when you dip it in a mayonnaise sauce, it's like, I'm having lobster and half a jar of mayonnaise.
但当你把它浸入蛋黄酱中时，就像是，我吃的是龙虾和半罐蛋黄酱。
And that's not so healthy anymore.
这不再那么健康了。
Recently, we went out for breakfast and P.G.
最近，我们出去吃早餐和 P.G.
and my dad got into it.
我爸爸也参与其中。
Here is a 55-year-old man in his own kitchen.
这是一位 55 岁的男子在他自己的厨房里。
I go to get something out of the ice box and P.G.-- what is he, 17 years old-- says, I'm going to call Curtis.
我去从冰箱里取出一些东西，P.G.——他是谁，17 岁——说，我要给柯蒂斯打电话。
He calls his 26-year-old sister in Iowa to tell her that I've been eating-- it's like I've been stealing money or snorting cocaine.
他打电话给爱荷华州 26 岁的妹妹，告诉她我一直在吃东西，就像我一直在偷钱或吸可卡因一样。
All right.
好吧。
Let me put this story in context.
让我把这个故事放在上下文中。
The way things went down is that this was after he'd just gotten home from dinner and he decided he wanted to have some Parmesan walnut spread.
事情发生的方式是，这是在他刚吃完晚饭回家之后，他决定要一些帕尔玛核桃酱。
Right after dinner.
晚餐后。
It's none of your business.
这不关你的事。
Curtis Sittenfeld Actually, I feel like it is our business, like my father has made it our business for my whole life.
Curtis Sittenfeld 事实上，我觉得这是我们的事，就像我父亲把它当作我一生的事一样。
I remember going to the track with my dad and my sister Tiernan when I was six or seven, to walk with him in the morning.
我记得六七岁的时候，我和爸爸以及妹妹蒂尔南一起去田径场，早上和他一起散步。
Even then I knew two things: that the goal was for him to lose weight and that I was part of a larger family campaign to make it happen.
即使在那时，我也知道两件事：目标是让他减肥，而我是一个更大的家庭运动的一部分，以实现这一目标。
What do you want to eat?
你想吃什么？
You want to go to the Cactus Pear?
你想去仙人掌梨吗？
Taste delicious?
味道鲜美吗？
Curtis Sittenfeld It might-- would you get that cheese and shrimp thing?
柯蒂斯·西滕菲尔德（Curtis Sittenfeld） 可能——你会买奶酪和虾的东西吗？
Sure.
当然。
Curtis Sittenfeld My dad and I are driving around doing errands when the subject of lunch comes up.
柯蒂斯·西滕菲尔德 (Curtis Sittenfeld) 当我和爸爸开车出去办事时，我们谈到了午餐的话题。
In my family, the cheese and shrimp dish at Cactus Pear is somewhat legendary.
在我家，仙人掌梨餐厅的奶酪和虾菜有点传奇。
And I'm not sure if I was asking my father if he would get it because it's oily and I didn't want him to, or because it tastes wonderful and I was hoping he'd share it with me.
我不确定我问父亲是否愿意买它，是因为它很油腻，我不想让他买，还是因为它味道好极了，我希望他能与我分享。
This is the major conflict I feel about my dad's weight.
这是我对父亲体重的主要矛盾。
I hate the fact that he's so heavy and I love eating with him.
我讨厌他这么重，但我喜欢和他一起吃饭。
In situations like this one, I try to put us on the right track.
在这种情况下，我会努力让我们走上正轨。
But maybe I don't try as hard as I could.
但也许我没有尽我所能去努力。
Actually, I wonder if there's a Bob Evans.
事实上，我想知道是否有鲍勃·埃文斯。
There's a delicious salad I had at Bob Evans.
我在鲍勃·埃文斯餐厅吃过美味的沙拉。
If it's a truly healthy salad, I'll go.
如果这是真正健康的沙拉，我就去。
But if it's a fake healthy salad with like--
但如果它是假的健康沙拉，里面有类似的东西——
It has red onions, fresh pineapple, fresh strawberries, grilled chicken, different kind of salad greens, blue cheese, did I say that?
它有红洋葱、新鲜菠萝、新鲜草莓、烤鸡、不同种类的沙拉蔬菜、蓝纹奶酪，我有说过吗？
What ended up happening was a worst case scenario.
最终发生的情况是最坏的情况。
We went to an Indian buffet.
我们去了印度自助餐。
You know the phrase, all you can eat?
你知道这句话吗，你可以吃什么？
Well, my family takes it literally.
嗯，我的家人从字面上理解了它。
Recently, I told my brother P.G.
最近，我告诉我的兄弟 P.G.
that I thought the definition of a good meal was when you had to unbutton your pants afterward.
我认为一顿美餐的定义是饭后必须解开裤子的扣子。
P.G.
PG
said he thought it was when your pants unbutton themselves.
他说他以为是你的裤子纽扣自行解开的时候。
And this is my family's dirty little secret.
这是我家人肮脏的小秘密。
For us, eating is practically a sport.
对于我们来说，吃饭实际上是一项运动。
We bribe each other with food, and we definitely compete over food.
我们用食物贿赂彼此，而且我们肯定会争夺食物。
Here's my brother, PG.
这是我的兄弟，PG。
Sometimes-- and I feel like this is where Daddy is not necessarily far and away the most guilty-- sometimes Mommy will bring over a salad dressed and there will be a lot of avocado sitting on top and blue cheese.
有时——我觉得爸爸不一定是最有罪的——有时妈妈会端来一份沙拉，上面放着很多鳄梨和蓝纹奶酪。
And there'll be this sixth sense among maybe-- let's just say you, me and daddy-- of like I need to get to that salad first so I can get all of the avocado.
也许——比如说你、我和爸爸——之间会有第六感，比如我需要先吃沙拉，这样我才能吃到所有的鳄梨。
And when you're actually having a conversation with another family member, out of the eye in the back of your head you'll be checking out the salad bowl as another member of the family takes salad from it, to make sure they're not taking too much avocado.
当你真正与另一位家庭成员交谈时，当另一位家庭成员从沙拉碗中取出沙拉时，你会不自觉地检查沙拉碗，以确保他们没有吃太多鳄梨。
And if they do, you'll definitely call them on it.
如果他们这样做了，你肯定会打电话给他们。
When we're not consuming a meal, we're probably planning when we next will or holding a postmortem on a meal we just finished, deconstructing it course by course.
当我们不吃饭时，我们可能会计划下一次吃饭的时间，或者对刚吃完的一顿饭进行事后分析，逐道解构它。
Which brings us to the really tough question about my father's weight: how can our favorite activity, the thing that truly brings us together as a family, be so wrong?
这给我们带来了一个关于我父亲体重的真正棘手的问题：我们最喜欢的活动，真正让我们作为一个家庭聚集在一起的事情，怎么会如此错误？
Sometimes I think we should just give in to what makes my father happy.
有时我想我们应该屈服于让我父亲高兴的事情。
I do.
我愿意。
I had a good day and I ate carefully all the way through.
我度过了愉快的一天，一路上我都吃得很仔细。
I had a little bit of turkey for lunch.
我午餐吃了一点火鸡。
I had cereal for breakfast and a banana.
我早餐吃麦片和一根香蕉。
I had lots of water.
我有很多水。
I exercised.
我锻炼了。
And I had salad for dinner.
晚餐我吃了沙拉。
Before bed, my dad makes his nightly call to Doris.
睡觉前，我爸爸每晚都会给多丽丝打电话。
When he first met Doris, she told him if he missed a night she'd call him first thing the next morning and wake up the whole family.
当他第一次见到多丽丝时，她告诉他，如果他错过了一个晚上，她会在第二天早上第一件事给他打电话，叫醒全家人。
The market?
市场？
You pay too much attention.
你太关注了。
Just get me thin and stop worrying.
让我瘦下来，别再担心了。
I know.
我知道。
We'll talk tomorrow.
我们明天再谈。
Take care.
保重。
Bye.
再见。
So I think a good starting place might be the fact that I feel like you just totally glossed over what you ate today.
所以我认为一个好的起点可能是这样一个事实：我觉得你完全掩盖了你今天吃的东西。
Like when you said that you had a salad for dinner, it had blue cheese in it, or that it was what I would describe as generously dressed.
就像当你说晚餐吃沙拉时，里面有蓝纹奶酪，或者我会说它是盛装的。
Well, I didn't do the dressing.
嗯，我没穿衣服。
Yeah, I would say it was not a particularly dietetic salad.
是的，我想说这不是一个特别有营养的沙拉。
But what I think probably-- and that's of course, part of the issue-- that I am not altogether realistic about portions.
但我认为可能——这当然是问题的一部分——我对部分并不完全现实。
But I would guess, essentially to think about it, that I think I had less than one ounce of blue cheese.
但我想，本质上考虑一下，我认为我的蓝纹奶酪还不到一盎司。
Now that's more than no blue cheese.
现在这比没有蓝纹奶酪还要好。
But it's not like eating-- which I could also have done-- eight ounces of blue cheese.
但这不像吃——我也可以吃——八盎司的蓝纹奶酪。
Of course, I also didn't mention what I had at the reception I went to at 5 o'clock today.
当然，我也没有提到今天五点钟去的招待会上我有什么。
I hadn't thought about that.
我没有想到这一点。
They had really quite big, delicious shrimp.
他们的虾真的很大很美味。
And it was a fellow's retirement party, so I figured he wouldn't be retiring again probably.
这是一个同事的退休聚会，所以我想他可能不会再退休了。
So I had several shrimp.
所以我吃了几只虾。
But again, I didn't have any mayonnaise or anything like that, I just used cocktail sauce, which is basically ketchup and horseradish.
但同样，我没有任何蛋黄酱或类似的东西，我只是用了鸡尾酒酱，基本上是番茄酱和辣根。
See, I've got a whole ability to rationalize, to deal with any-- I probably ate about 12 large shrimp.
看，我有一种合理化、处理任何事情的能力——我可能吃了大约 12 只大虾。
I mean, they weren't as big as your fist.
我的意思是，它们没有你的拳头那么大。
But they were certainly-- they were not shrimpy shrimp.
但它们确实——它们不是小虾。
And maybe there were a few more than 12.
也许有几个超过 12 个。
Maybe it was 14 or 16.
也许是14或16。
My dad has been meeting with Doris for seven months now.
我爸爸和多丽丝见面已经七个月了。
And these days, even she's showing signs of discouragement.
这些天，就连她也表现出了沮丧的迹象。
She must know he's not following her recommendations.
她一定知道他没有听从她的建议。
And I'm guessing she knows he doesn't tell her the whole truth about what he eats.
我猜她知道他没有告诉她他吃什么的全部真相。
After losing and gaining several times, my father is down a total of 12 pounds, which is two pounds less than he'd lost in the first month with her.
经过几次减重和增重，我父亲总共减重了 12 磅，比他和她在一起的第一个月减掉了两磅。
Recently, she told my father that because she attracts clients through word of mouth, the fact that he's lost so little weight makes him a bad advertisement for her services.
最近，她告诉我父亲，因为她通过口碑吸引客户，所以他减掉的体重如此之少，这对她的服务来说是一个糟糕的广告。
The situation is basically impossible because all of us want such contradictory things.
这种情况基本上是不可能的，因为我们所有人都想要这样矛盾的东西。
My dad wants us to leave him alone and he wants to please us.
我爸爸希望我们不要打扰他，他也想取悦我们。
My siblings and I want him to be healthy and we want him to enjoy the food he loves.
我和我的兄弟姐妹希望他健康，我们希望他享受他喜欢的食物。
At every level, our wishes conflict.
在各个层面上，我们的愿望都存在冲突。
No wonder he continues to pay Doris, even though she gives him advice that he doesn't take.
难怪他继续付钱给多丽丝，尽管她给了他建议，但他不采纳。
She's a kind of inoculation against the rest of us.
她是一种针对我们其他人的疫苗。
He can point to her and say, look I'm trying, now leave me alone.
他可以指着她说，看我正在努力，现在别打扰我。
By seeing Doris, he's giving us what we want.
通过看到多丽丝，他给了我们我们想要的东西。
And I think that's what he wants most of all, maybe even more than he wants to lose weight.
我认为这是他最想要的，甚至可能比他想要减肥更重要。
Our production manager, Todd Bachmann, invited me to the Alzheimer's wedding and did some of the interviews there.
我们的制作经理托德·巴赫曼（Todd Bachmann）邀请我参加阿尔茨海默氏症婚礼，并在那里进行了一些采访。
You know you can download audio of our program at audible.com/thisamericanlife where they have public radio programs, bestselling books, even the New York Times all at audible.com.
您知道，您可以在 audible.com/thisamericanlife 下载我们节目的音频，那里有公共广播节目、畅销书，甚至纽约时报都在 audible.com 上。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia, who wants you to remember just one thing from today's program.
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 监督，他希望您记住今天节目中的一件事。
Please, just one thing.
拜托，只有一件事。
Martin Waldseemuller.
马丁·瓦尔德塞穆勒。
Ira Glass I'm Ira Glass.
艾拉·格拉斯 我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。