214: Family Physics - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #214 | December 17, 2021 214: Family Physics Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 214 集 | 2021 年 12 月 17 日 214：家庭物理 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
序言：序言 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥的 Ira Glass，这就是美国生活。
And of course, every week here, we try to describe and understand the world by listening to all kinds of people that we interview, and to reporters, and writers.
当然，每周我们都会尝试通过倾听我们采访的各种人、记者和作家的声音来描述和理解世界。
And it's occurred to us lately that maybe this is wrongheaded.
最近我们发现这也许是错误的。
Maybe if we want real understanding, real explanations, we need to turn to science.
也许如果我们想要真正的理解、真正的解释，我们需要求助于科学。
Consider this story, lab partners.
实验室伙伴们，考虑一下这个故事。
When Dennis was a kid, his stepfather always thought that wherever they lived was lousy.
当丹尼斯还是个孩子的时候，他的继父总是认为他们住的地方都很糟糕。
He thought the only place worth living in was New York City.
他认为唯一值得居住的地方是纽约市。
This is a man, by the way, who had grown up in a town of a few thousand in Indiana.
顺便说一下，这是一个在印第安纳州一个只有几千人的小镇长大的人。
You know, he loves his symphony and opera, and art movies, and he just-- he never felt like he fit.
你知道，他喜欢他的交响乐、歌剧和艺术电影，但他只是——他从来不觉得自己适合。
He thought that there are people in New York who all loved classical music and love to read.
他认为纽约有人都热爱古典音乐、热爱读书。
And he would just show up and say smart things, and that people would say, well, Mr. Kass, it's so-- we are so glad you are here.
他会出现并说一些聪明的话，人们会说，好吧，卡斯先生，是这样的——我们很高兴你在这里。
And so they moved to New York, the whole family, when Dennis was 12.
于是，丹尼斯 12 岁时，他们全家搬到了纽约。
It was awful.
太糟糕了。
I mean, it was a disaster from the moment we touched down.
我的意思是，从我们着陆的那一刻起，这就是一场灾难。
None of the elements that he had fantasized about were there.
他所幻想的那些元素，一个也没有。
I think we went to the symphony once.
我想我们曾经听过交响乐。
It's expensive.
它很贵。
I mean, just the pace of the city and the competitiveness of it, he just couldn't-- he couldn't handle it.
我的意思是，就城市的节奏和竞争力而言，他就是无法——他无法应对。
He just couldn't handle it.
他就是受不了。
During that first year, he started breaking out in hives, covered in hives from head to toe-- essentially, an allergic reaction to his life in New York.
在第一年里，他开始出现荨麻疹，从头到脚都长满了荨麻疹——本质上是对纽约生活的过敏反应。
Now, science can help us understand this story.
现在，科学可以帮助我们理解这个故事。
There's a notion in physics called the mediocrity principle.
物理学中有一个概念，叫做平庸原理。
It requires that no place in the universe is more special than any other place.
它要求宇宙中没有任何一个地方比任何其他地方更特别。
The ancients, remember, thought that we are at the center of the universe.
请记住，古人认为我们位于宇宙的中心。
The sun and the stars revolved around us.
太阳和星星围着我们转。
Mediocrity principle says, no, no, that's wrong.
平庸原则说，不，不，那是错误的。
No place is special.
没有什么地方是特别的。
And there's nothing special about us.
我们并没有什么特别的。
Dennis says, by the way, that all this was obvious to him, even when he was 12, back when his stepdad was itching to move to New York.
顺便说一句，丹尼斯说，这一切对他来说都是显而易见的，即使在他 12 岁的时候，当时他的继父渴望搬到纽约。
When I first heard about the mediocrity principle, it made me really happy.
当我第一次听说平庸原则时，我真的很高兴。
I almost felt like I had discovered a law of science, as a 12-year-old, all by myself.
12 岁时，我几乎感觉自己发现了一条科学定律。
How so?
为何如此？
Dennis Because when you think about the fact that where you are is not really different than anywhere else you could be, you don't have to move.
丹尼斯：因为当你想到你所在的地方与你可能所在的其他地方并没有真正不同的事实时，你就不必搬家。
What can the laws of physics tell us about our everyday lives?
关于日常生活，物理定律能告诉我们什么？
Consider, please, this experiment in human relations.
请考虑一下这个人际关系实验。
Kitty and Lars each needed a roommate.
基蒂和拉尔斯都需要一个室友。
They got a place together on July 1.
7月1日他们在一起了。
By July 28, it was clear to both of them they should be more than just roommates.
到 7 月 28 日，他们俩都清楚他们不应该只是室友。
By August 3, Lars had told Kitty that he wanted to marry her.
8 月 3 日，拉斯告诉基蒂他想娶她。
They've been together for years now.
他们已经在一起很多年了。
They are incredibly happy.
他们非常高兴。
And they both say that if they hadn't actually lived together as roommates, if they'd only dated, it never would have worked out.
他们都说，如果他们没有真正以室友的身份住在一起，如果他们只是约会，那就永远不会有结果。
Probably not.
可能不会。
Lars Yeah, probably not.
拉尔斯 是的，可能不会。
We wouldn't have spent that much time with each other.
我们不会花那么多时间在一起。
I mean, the weekends, we would spend pretty much the entire days with each other.
我的意思是，周末我们几乎整天都在一起。
And we're pretty different people.
我们是完全不同的人。
Right.
正确的。
Lars And I'm not your type.
拉斯 我不是你喜欢的类型。
I mean, I think you're a little bit more my type, but you've always said that I was never your type.
我的意思是，我觉得你更像我喜欢的类型，但你总是说我从来都不是你喜欢的类型。
[LAUGHS] I also don't think we would have stayed together necessarily had we not been living together.
[笑]我也不认为如果我们没有住在一起的话我们一定会住在一起。
I think it definitely helped to just force us to work things out.
我认为这确实有助于迫使我们解决问题。
What can science tell us about this?
科学可以告诉我们什么？
OK, well, in physics, there's something called the Casimir Effect.
好吧，在物理学中，有一种叫做卡西米尔效应的东西。
It says that there's an attractive force between objects that are in proximity to each other.
它说彼此靠近的物体之间存在吸引力。
Hendrik Casimir was talking about two uncharged plates, close to each other in a vacuum.
亨德里克·卡西米尔正在谈论两个不带电的板，它们在真空中彼此靠近。
It's a very faint sort of force.
这是一种非常微弱的力量。
And a very faint sort of force was all that Lars and Kitty felt for each other at first.
拉尔斯和基蒂一开始对彼此的感觉只有一种非常微弱的力量。
I mean, it kind of just crept up on me.
我的意思是，它突然出现在我身上。
I mean, we were spending lots of time together, and towards the end, we were flirting and whatnot.
我的意思是，我们花了很多时间在一起，最后，我们调情什么的。
But it really didn't quite dawn on me until, you know, we were on the couch kissing.
但直到我们在沙发上接吻时我才真正明白过来。
Even the night that we actually hooked up or whatever, I remember what we were doing.
即使是我们真正交往的那天晚上或者其他什么，我都记得我们在做什么。
We were watching A Clockwork Orange, which is not the most romantic movie.
我们正在看《发条橙》，这不是最浪漫的电影。
I wouldn't have been playing that movie, had I thought we'd be getting together that night.
如果我以为我们那天晚上会聚在一起的话，我就不会播放那部电影了。
So yeah, and it's the most violent, misogynistic movie ever made, and yet we still-- we fell in love over it.
所以，是的，这是有史以来最暴力、最厌恶女性的电影，但我们仍然——我们爱上了它。
It's our movie.
这是我们的电影。
Yup.
是的。
[LAUGHS] Ira Glass Yeah, that is a strong feeling of romance, to overcome that barrier.
[笑] Ira Glass 是的，这是一种强烈的浪漫感，可以克服这个障碍。
[LAUGHTER] Kitty Well, it still kind of creeps me out a little bit.
[笑声] Kitty 好吧，这仍然让我有点毛骨悚然。
Yeah.
是的。
Kitty I'm a little embarrassed about that part.
基蒂，我对这部分感到有点尴尬。
Right, but that proves how inevitable-- I mean, if you can make lovey eyes at each other during that movie, there's no stopping us.
是的，但这证明了这是多么不可避免——我的意思是，如果你能在那部电影中彼此充满爱意地注视着对方，那就没有什么能阻止我们。
Now, I need to acknowledge that physicists hate it-- they hate it, they hate it-- when non-scientists do this, when we non-scientists take scientific laws and principles intended for a very different purpose in context, and apply them to ourselves and our petty little relationships with each other.
现在，我需要承认，物理学家讨厌它——他们讨厌它，他们讨厌它——当非科学家这样做时，当我们非科学家将科学定律和原理用于非常不同的背景时，并将它们应用到我们自己和我们彼此之间的琐碎关系上。
Witness, please, the attitude of Dave Kestenbaum, PhD, who used to be a high-energy experimental particle physicist on the team that discovered the top quark at Fermilab.
请看看 Dave Kestenbaum 博士的态度，他曾是费米实验室发现顶夸克团队中的高能实验粒子物理学家。
He's now one of our colleagues on the radio.
他现在是我们电台的同事之一。
It's a bad idea.
这是一个坏主意。
You know, every artist at some point in their lives goes and reads a little book on quantum mechanics, or they hear about Schrodinger's cat or the uncertainty principle or something like that.
你知道，每个艺术家在他们生命中的某个时刻都会读一本关于量子力学的小书，或者他们听说过薛定谔的猫或不确定性原理或类似的东西。
And then they go write a really bad play.
然后他们就去写一部非常糟糕的剧本。
[LAUGHS] And it's inevitably terrible.
[笑]这不可避免地很糟糕。
You know, people who don't know a lot of physics seem to like it, but I get a little bugged by it, I have to say.
你知道，不太懂物理的人似乎很喜欢它，但我不得不说，我有点被它困扰。
OK, I have to say, that seems entirely reasonable.
好吧，我不得不说，这似乎完全合理。
But we at This American Life-- we just do not care.
但我们《This American Life》——我们不在乎。
Our feeling is, once a physicist names something the mediocrity principle, or the uncertainty principle, or the grandfather paradox, basically, they're asking for it.
我们的感觉是，一旦物理学家将某些东西命名为平庸原理、不确定性原理或祖父悖论，基本上，他们就是在要求它。
The mediocrity principle prances into the lives of us non-scientists, all provocative with that all-provocative name, and what, we're not supposed to give that a second glance?
平庸原则跃入我们非科学家的生活，这个充满挑衅性的名字充满挑衅性，什么，我们不应该再看一眼？
We're supposed to stop our brains from instantly seeing that and all these other rules as metaphors to apply hither and thither, wherever we will?
我们应该阻止我们的大脑立即将这一点和所有其他规则视为隐喻，无论我们在哪里，都可以应用？
Today on our radio program, we ignore the pleas of reasonable people like Dave Kestenbaum and the silent screams of every physicist listening to our program right this moment, and bring you several stories, each one about everyday people in everyday situations, each one illuminated by some scientific law.
今天，在我们的广播节目中，我们无视像戴夫·凯斯滕鲍姆这样有理智的人的恳求，也无视此时此刻收听我们节目的每一位物理学家的无声尖叫，而是为您带来几个故事，每个故事都关于日常生活中的普通人，每个故事都受到一些科学定律的启发。
It's Family Physics.
这是家庭物理学。
Our program today in three acts-- Act One, Occam's Razor; Act Two, The Trajectory and Force of Bodies in Orbit; Act Three, Conservation of Energy and Matter.
我们今天的节目分为三幕——第一幕，奥卡姆剃刀；第二幕，轨道上物体的轨迹和力；第三幕，能量和物质守恒。
In that act, by the way, we have a story by David Sedaris.
顺便说一下，在那一幕中，我们有大卫·塞达里斯的故事。
Put on your safety goggles and white coats, my friends, and stay with us.
朋友们，戴上护目镜，穿上白大褂，和我们在一起。
Act One, Occam's Razor.
第一幕，奥卡姆剃刀。
OK, this is a story about a family that had one theory about how to explain their lives.
好吧，这是一个关于一个家庭的故事，这个家庭有一个关于如何解释他们生活的理论。
And then, at some point, that theory came to seem inadequate.
然后，到了某个时候，这个理论就显得不够充分了。
It did not seem to explain the data and evidence before them.
它似乎并没有解释眼前的数据和证据。
And they switched to a different theory.
他们转向了不同的理论。
Cris Beam tells the story in Los Angeles.
克里斯·比姆讲述了洛杉矶的故事。
David Paladino grew up in an Italian family in an Italian neighborhood west of Chicago.
大卫·帕拉迪诺在芝加哥以西意大利社区的一个意大利家庭长大。
It was the kind of place where, in the early '70s, all the kids wore Italian colors, ate Italian beef and sausage from the corner store, and threw money at the Virgin Mary statue at the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.
在 70 年代初期，在这里，所有的孩子都穿着意大利颜色的衣服，吃街角商店的意大利牛肉和香肠，并在卡梅尔山圣母盛宴上向圣母玛利亚雕像扔钱。
But while David is Italian, too, he has many childhood stories about things people said to him that just didn't make any sense.
尽管大卫也是意大利人，但他有很多童年故事，都是关于人们对他说的毫无意义的话。
In Sunday school, the other kids called Dave, "Chocolate Bar" and "Blackie." People asked him who is real father was.
在主日学校，其他孩子称戴夫为“巧克力棒”和“黑基”。人们问他真正的父亲是谁。
When he went into stores, the clerks would sometimes follow him around as if he was going to steal something.
当他走进商店时，店员有时会跟着他，好像他要偷东西一样。
When David was 10, his family moved into a townhouse in a more integrated area.
大卫 10 岁时，他的家人搬进了一个更加一体化的地区的联排别墅。
Dave went out to play in a nearby playground.
戴夫出去到附近的操场玩耍。
This kid was there playing.
这个孩子在那里玩耍。
He was a young Black kid, and he starts talking to me.
他是一个年轻的黑人孩子，他开始和我说话。
And you know, he was much more outgoing than I was.
你知道，他比我外向得多。
He was asking me questions.
他在问我问题。
And he was like, oh, do you curse, you know, and [INAUDIBLE] I'm like, no, I don't swear.
他说，哦，你咒骂吗，你知道，而[听不清]我说，不，我不发誓。
My mom would kill me.
我妈妈会杀了我。
You know, so and he's like, yeah, well, I do.
你知道，所以他就像，是的，好吧，我愿意。
I don't care.
我不在乎。
So we're having a good time, and I was like, yeah, you want to see my place?
我们玩得很开心，我就想，是的，你想看看我的住处吗？
He's like, yeah, so we walk.
他说，是的，所以我们步行。
It's, like, a minute away.
就差一分钟了。
And so we're walking around the back yard area.
所以我们在后院区域散步。
There's these tall hedges, and then there's the sliding glass door.
有这些高高的树篱，还有滑动玻璃门。
So as we walk around these tall hedges in the backyard, my two sisters are coming out-- Lori and Shari.
因此，当我们绕过后院这些高大的树篱时，我的两个姐妹洛里和莎莉走了出来。
And so we walk around the corner, and he stops dead in his tracks, and he's like, what them white girls doing in your house?
于是我们走到拐角处，他突然停了下来，他说，那些白人女孩在你家里做什么？
And I was like, white girls?
我当时想，白人女孩？
Those are my sisters.
她们是我的姐妹们。
And he's like, your sisters?
他就像，你的姐妹们？
And I'm like, yeah.
我想，是的。
And then, all of a sudden, my mom comes out, and my dad is, like, right behind her.
然后，突然，我妈妈出来了，我爸爸就在她身后。
He's like, oh, Davey!
他就像，哦，戴维！
Who is your friend?
谁是你的朋友？
And he's like, who's that?
他说，那是谁？
I said, oh, that's my mom.
我说，哦，那是我妈妈。
And he's like, your mom?
他就像，你妈妈？
And then my dad is right there.
然后我爸爸就在那里。
I'm like, oh, that's my dad.
我想，哦，那是我爸爸。
He's like, your dad?
他就像，你爸爸？
And he, like, looks at me, and then he looks at them, and he's like, oh, man!
他看着我，然后看着他们，他就像，哦，伙计！
And he left!
然后他就离开了！
(LAUGHING) He left!
（笑）他走了！
Strangely enough, we all had a little laugh about it.
奇怪的是，我们都笑了。
And then, it was just like everybody went their own direction, and nobody talked about it.
然后，就好像每个人都朝着自己的方向前进，没有人谈论它。
But in retrospect, looking back on it, it's like, there was probably something there to be discussed, you know.
但回想起来，回想起来，就像，可能有一些东西需要讨论，你知道。
And that put me in more mystery, I guess, about, oh, this is-- oh, yeah, I guess I am different.
这让我更加神秘，我想，哦，这是——哦，是的，我想我是不同的。
Carol and I met in high school.
我和卡罗尔是在高中认识的。
She was in Provenzano, and I was Paladino, so we were two seats, three seats apart in homeroom.
她在普罗文扎诺，我是帕拉迪诺，所以我们在主教室里分开两个座位，三个座位。
This is Dave Paladino's father, David Paladino, Sr.
这是戴夫·帕拉迪诺的父亲，老大卫·帕拉迪诺。
Big snowfall in 1967, and we were at a party.
1967 年，一场大雪，我们正在参加一个聚会。
And we were at some kid's basement, and there was music playing, and we met down in the basement.
我们在某个孩子的地下室里，有音乐在播放，我们在地下室见面了。
We talked for about an hour, and we went out and played in the snow, and then we went back downstairs and made out.
我们聊了大约一个小时，然后出去玩雪，然后回到楼下亲热。
[LAUGHTER] And then, after that, it was-- we were boyfriend and girlfriend for end of sophomore year, junior year, senior year.
[笑声] 然后，在那之后，我们在大二、大三、大四结束时成为了男女朋友。
David and Dave's mom, Carol, went to high school in a neighborhood on Chicago's West Side, called Maywood.
大卫和戴夫的妈妈卡罗尔在芝加哥西区一个叫梅伍德的社区上高中。
In 1968, their junior year, race riots broke out in their school, making national headlines.
1968年，他们大三的时候，学校爆发了种族骚乱，成为全国头条新闻。
Kids were pulling guns on each other, and the National Guard was called in.
孩子们互相拔枪，国民警卫队被叫来了。
During this time, David and Carol were dating.
在此期间，大卫和卡罗尔正在约会。
They didn't participate in the riots.
他们没有参与骚乱。
In fact, Dave was vice president of his senior class, and Carol was a cheerleader.
事实上，戴夫是高年级的副主席，卡罗尔是啦啦队长。
And they were both involved in the student leadership's efforts towards racial harmony.
他们都参与了学生领导层为实现种族和谐所做的努力。
We were trying to mix the races a bit, as far as getting along and meet each other.
我们试图将不同的种族混合起来，以达到相处和见面的目的。
Where before, it would just be all white people, you know, at our parties, and Black kids would all have their parties, but we actually had some crossover things going on, where Black students were coming into our parties.
以前，我们的聚会上全都是白人，黑人孩子也会举办他们的聚会，但实际上我们发生了一些交叉的事情，黑人学生也参加了我们的聚会。
And I remember we had some Black kids come to one of our whatever guys' houses one night, and they taught us, like, how to do the Boogaloo dance and all this-- (LAUGHING) that time, so I remember dancing the Boogaloo.
我记得有一天晚上，我们有一些黑人孩子来到我们任何一个人的家里，他们教我们，比如，如何跳布加卢舞之类的——（笑）那一次，所以我记得跳布加卢舞。
Actually, the role that I played at the high school, I was on, quotes, "Cross-Section Committee"--
事实上，我在高中时扮演的角色引用了“跨部门委员会”——
This is Dave's mom, Carol.
这是戴夫的妈妈卡罗尔。
Carol --which were Blacks and whites.
卡罗尔——黑人和白人。
And we were supposed to come up with new ways to try to bring some semblance of normalcy into the high school, like kind of make it so that there wasn't a problem between Blacks and whites.
我们应该想出新的方法来尝试给高中带来一些表面上的常态，比如让黑人和白人之间不存在问题。
I started hanging out more with the girls that hung out with Black people.
我开始更多地和那些和黑人一起出去玩的女孩出去玩。
That's the best way I think I can say it.
这是我认为可以说的最好的方式。
And so what would happen after basketball games was, we wouldn't go hang with the white guys.
所以篮球比赛结束后我们不会和白人混在一起。
We'd go find out where the party where the Black guys were.
我们要去看看黑人参加的派对在哪里。
And you know, for me, it was seeing a different culture.
你知道，对我来说，这是看到一种不同的文化。
I can remember it then.
那时我就能记住它。
Because these gals grew up differently than I grew up.
因为这些女孩的成长过程与我的成长过程不同。
And so it was just me having a different level of understanding.
所以这只是我有不同程度的理解。
And of course, being the liberal that I was then, it was like this all felt right.
当然，作为当时的自由主义者，这一切感觉都是对的。
The big word was that some of the cheerleaders were sleeping with the basketball team.
最重要的是，一些啦啦队队员和篮球队上床了。
And then, I had several people come up to me and tell me that Carol had-- was kissing some of the players, and other things were going on.
然后，有几个人走过来告诉我，卡罗尔正在亲吻一些球员，还有其他事情正在发生。
But I knew something had happened, but I didn't know what had happened.
但我知道发生了什么事，但我不知道发生了什么。
It was just dangerous fun for me, OK?
这对我来说只是危险的乐趣，好吗？
And then, somebody-- and I'm not sure what or how it happened, but somebody had seen me hanging out with a bunch of Black kids after a basketball game.
然后，有人——我不确定发生了什么或如何发生，但有人看到我在一场篮球比赛后和一群黑人孩子一起出去玩。
And it was my mother's brother, my Uncle Frankie, that had heard it from one of his friends.
这是我母亲的兄弟，我的弗兰基叔叔，从他的一位朋友那里听到的。
I think it was Tony Fioravanti or something.
我认为是托尼·菲奥拉万蒂之类的。
But anyway, he told my Uncle Frankie, and my Uncle Frankie told my mom and dad.
但无论如何，他告诉了我叔叔弗兰基，我叔叔弗兰基也告诉了我爸爸妈妈。
And my mom and dad then said, what are you doing hanging out with Black kids?
然后我妈妈和爸爸说，你和黑人孩子一起出去玩做什么？
They're going to call you a [BLEEP] lover, and we can't have that happen.
他们会称你为[BLEEP]情人，我们不能让这种情况发生。
So then, I used to sneak around.
于是，我就开始偷偷摸摸地走来走去。
And the easiest way for me to sneak around was make sure that there were other white girls there.
对我来说，偷偷摸摸最简单的方法就是确保那里还有其他白人女孩。
At this point, Carol began seeing one basketball player in particular-- Keith Rash, a Black student one year behind her in school.
此时，卡罗尔开始特别关注一位篮球运动员——基思·拉什，一名比她低一年级的黑人学生。
I was hanging out with Keith, but I was also hanging out with Dave, you know.
我和基思一起出去玩，但我也和戴夫一起出去玩，你知道。
I was living the wild life.
我过着狂野的生活。
And let's see, I screwed around with both of them.
让我们看看，我和他们两个都搞过关系。
That's about as plainly as I can say it.
我能说的就这么简单了。
But the problem was that-- also, never really understanding how I could get pregnant, when I could get pregnant, or anything like that.
但问题是——而且，我从来没有真正理解我如何怀孕，什么时候可以怀孕，或者类似的事情。
So we used no form of birth control.
所以我们没有使用任何形式的节育措施。
Carol was actually four months along before she knew she was pregnant.
卡罗尔实际上已经怀孕四个月了。
She got the news from her family doctor a few weeks before Thanksgiving.
感恩节前几周，她从家庭医生那里得到了这个消息。
All of a sudden, the room just shut.
突然间，房间就关上了。
Now, I don't remember if I heard everything he said past that point.
现在，我不记得在那之后我是否听到了他所说的一切。
Because now, my mind was, oh my god, who's the father?
因为现在我的想法是，天啊，孩子的父亲是谁？
I had no idea.
我不知道。
No one but Carol knew about Keith.
除了卡罗尔之外没有人知道基思的事。
But as Carol started to show, David assumed the baby was his.
但正如卡罗尔开始表现的那样，大卫认为这个孩子是他的。
Now 18, and in their first semester at a nearby college, they decided to get married over the next school break.
现年 18 岁的他们在附近一所大学上第一学期，决定在下一个学校放假期间结婚。
Carol called her mom with the news.
卡罗尔打电话给她妈妈告诉了这个消息。
Mom screamed and immediately ran next door to gather Carol's grandparents, and then across the street to get her aunt and uncle.
妈妈尖叫起来，立即跑到隔壁去接卡罗尔的祖父母，然后穿过马路去接她的姨妈和叔叔。
Within hours, everyone was assembled, and the patriarchs, David's father and Carol's father, had driven to the college to pick up the kids.
几个小时之内，所有人都聚集在一起，家长们，大卫的父亲和卡罗尔的父亲，开车去学院接孩子们。
Her mother had an announcement.
她的母亲有一个公告。
There would be no delaying this marriage.
这桩婚事，刻不容缓。
They were to get their blood tests and rings the next day, the wedding dress the following day, and they'd be married by the end of that weekend by the parish priest.
他们第二天要进行验血和戒指，第二天要穿婚纱，到那个周末，他们将在教区牧师的主持下举行婚礼。
Carol says they were both in shock.
卡罗尔说他们都感到震惊。
OK, so then, Dave says-- you know, God bless him, really.
好吧，那么，戴夫说——你知道，上帝真的保佑他。
'Cause the truth is, to try to stand up to my parents, he said, but that's not what we planned.
因为事实是，试图反抗我的父母，他说，但这不是我们的计划。
We want to wait, and we want to get married over Thanksgiving.
我们想等待，我们想在感恩节结婚。
My dad, he said, what do you mean you want to wait?
我爸爸，他说，你想等是什么意思？
He said, what's the matter?
他说，怎么了？
Don't you want to marry my daughter?
你不想娶我女儿吗？
And there was a pound on the table, too, you know.
你知道，桌子上还有一英镑。
This is the best shotgun wedding I can think of.
这是我能想到的最好的猎枪婚礼。
[LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND] And totally Italian stuff.
[背景笑声] 完全是意大利的东西。
So if I ever thought that I was going to have a moment to confess anything, I knew right then it was gone.
所以，如果我曾经想过我会有机会坦白什么，我就知道它已经消失了。
Absolutely gone.
彻底消失了。
And from that moment on became a daily prayer.
从那一刻起，就成了每天的祈祷。
In my mind, I could see the baby coming out and being Black, and then everybody in the room going like this-- [GASPS] And then, me coming out and trying to tell Dave.
在我的脑海里，我可以看到婴儿出来，变成黑人，然后房间里的每个人都像这样——[喘息]然后，我出来并试图告诉戴夫。
So I go into labor, and I'm petrified, in pain and petrified.
于是我就开始临产了，我被吓呆了，在痛苦和惊吓中。
And then, he comes out, and they show him to me, and he looked white to me.
然后，他出来了，他们把他展示给我看，在我看来，他看起来很白。
I mean, he had a whole bunch of black hair, but what baby didn't have a black hair?
我的意思是，他有一整束黑头发，但哪个婴儿没有黑头发呢？
He had dark eyes, but what baby didn't have dark eyes?
他的眼睛是黑的，但哪个宝宝没有黑眼睛呢？
And we had a lot of darkness in our family.
我们的家庭也有很多黑暗。
I mean, but he didn't look Black.
我是说，但他看起来不像黑人。
So I was like, oh, God, thank you, thank you, thank you.
所以我当时想，哦，上帝，谢谢你，谢谢你，谢谢你。
First inkling of [INAUDIBLE] was probably when-- he was born in March.
[听不清]的第一个暗示可能是在他三月份出生的时候。
It was probably toward the end of that summer, because I was outside a lot with him.
大概是那个夏天快结束的时候，因为我经常和他一起在外面。
And when he was out in the sun, he got darker.
当他在阳光下时，他的肤色就变得更黑了。
And I was like, uh-oh.
我当时想，呃哦。
At the married student apartments, we had a little swimming pool out front.
在已婚学生公寓，我们的前面有一个小游泳池。
And Davey was out, and he was out in the full sun, and he got-- [SNAPS] --brown like that, and immediately looked like he could have been a Black kid.
戴维出去了，他在阳光下，他得到了——[快照]——像那样的棕色，立刻看起来他可能是一个黑人孩子。
You know, he was dark.
你知道，他很黑。
And then, I remember after that, we had gone shopping.
然后，我记得在那之后，我们就去购物了。
And we had him in the cart, and we were wheeling him into a store.
我们把他放在车里，推着他走进一家商店。
And this woman came out and followed us out into the parking lot after we were leaving the store, and she says, oh, wait, wait, wait.
我们离开商店后，这个女人出来了，跟着我们到停车场，她说，哦，等等，等等，等等。
I wanted to talk to you.
我想和你谈谈。
And she said, I noticed that you and your wife have adopted an interracial baby.
她说，我注意到你和你的妻子收养了一个异族婴儿。
And you know, my husband and I are thinking of adopting an interracial baby.
你知道，我和我丈夫正在考虑收养一个跨种族婴儿。
And I took it aback, like, what are you talking about?
我吃了一惊，就像，你在说什么？
So I said, no, no, no. This is our baby.
所以我说，不，不，不。这是我们的宝宝。
She said, I know it's your baby, but we're thinking adopting interracial babies.
她说，我知道这是你的孩子，但我们正在考虑收养跨种族婴儿。
No, you don't understand.
不，你不明白。
This is our baby.
这是我们的宝宝。
And she said, oh, well-- and then, finally, she understood what I was saying, you know.
她说，哦，好吧——然后，最后，她明白了我在说什么，你知道。
No, this is my wife and I's child, just dark, you know.
不，这是我妻子和我的孩子，只是黑暗，你知道。
That was an odd situation.
这是一个奇怪的情况。
What did that do in your mind?
这在你心里做了什么？
Did you think about it?
你想过吗？
Did you interrogate it?
你审问过吗？
Did you--
你有没有——
No, you see, I've had a lot of time to think about it since that.
不，你看，从那以后我有很多时间思考这个问题。
And I think what's interesting is that your mind-- this is-- if they have a belief system that they've put together, and they build their life on that belief system, that it's very hard for that belief system to be shook or changed by facts.
我认为有趣的是，如果他们有一个他们组合在一起的信仰体系，并且他们将自己的生活建立在该信仰体系之上，那么该信仰体系就很难被事实动摇或改变。
So I don't know how to say it, but I had a belief system that he was my son.
所以我不知道该怎么说，但我有一个信念，他是我的儿子。
I saw him born.
我看见他出生了。
I was there at the birth.
出生时我也在场。
I was there-- I was with his mother, and he was my son.
我在那里——我和他的母亲在一起，他是我的儿子。
So many times, I can tell you, we'd say the same story to anybody that would say-- especially when the two girls came along and they were so fair.
我可以告诉你很多次，我们会对任何愿意说的人说同样的故事——尤其是当两个女孩出现并且她们如此公平的时候。
They'd say, well, he doesn't look like the two girls.
他们会说，好吧，他看起来不像那两个女孩。
And we'd say, well, that's because he's got the olive skin from the family, you know.
我们会说，嗯，那是因为他有家族的橄榄色皮肤，你知道。
My grandfather's really olive-skinned.
我祖父的皮肤确实是橄榄色的。
And you know, Dave's mother, she's German, but she's got this dark-black, curly hair, and he's got the same dark-black curly hair.
你知道，戴夫的母亲，她是德国人，但她有一头深黑色的卷发，而他也有同样的深黑色卷发。
You know, I was a science teacher, so I wasn't, like, really stupid, OK?
你知道，我是一名科学老师，所以我并不傻，好吗？
But I do know that our genetic makeup-- it's possible that you can have recessive genes and things that are in your system.
但我确实知道我们的基因构成——你的系统中可能有隐性基因和东西。
It might skip a generation or two, and suddenly, you know, somebody looks like somebody that-- three generations ago, they look like someone.
它可能会跳过一两代人，突然间，你知道，某人看起来像三代人前的某人。
As David, Jr. got older, he was told the same stories inquisitive strangers were told.
随着小大卫年龄的增长，他也听到了好奇的陌生人所听到的同样的故事。
You know, and my aunt was kind of dark-skinned over there, and they had black hair, and on my dad's side, they had this curly hair.
你知道，我姨妈那边皮肤有点黑，头发是黑的，而我爸爸那边则是卷发。
But we-- I started to get these explainable things.
但我们——我开始明白这些可以解释的事情。
Like, oh, I'm dark-skinned Italian, from the southern part of Italy, so there's also Sicilian-- Sicily is right there, and the Moors, and blah, blah, blah, and it is what it is.
就像，哦，我是黑皮肤的意大利人，来自意大利南部，所以还有西西里岛——西西里岛就在那里，还有摩尔人，等等，等等，就是这样。
Until his teens, Dave's family moved a lot, and he says every move was torture.
在戴夫十几岁之前，他的家人经常搬家，他说每一次搬家都是一种折磨。
His two sisters would just be asked the regular questions like, where are you from, and what music do you like.
他的两个姐妹只会被问到一些常规问题，比如你来自哪里，你喜欢什么音乐。
But Dave would be asked, who's your real dad, and were you adopted.
但戴夫会被问到，谁是你的亲生父亲，以及你是被收养的。
So Dave learned to preempt the interrogations.
所以戴夫学会了先发制人地进行审讯。
He started wearing T-shirts with slogans like "Proud to be Italian," or "Another Italian masterpiece." And he would announce his heritage to anyone within moments of an introduction.
他开始穿印有“为意大利人而自豪”或“又一意大利杰作”等标语的 T 恤。他会在介绍后立即向任何人宣布他的血统。
And it wasn't just Dave.
不仅仅是戴夫。
The whole family was in denial.
全家人都在否认。
Here's his mom.
这是他的妈妈。
As David got older and his face started changing more, et cetera, and I dared to open up my yearbook and saw Keith, and then saw David, I was like, oh, God.
随着大卫变老，他的脸开始发生更多变化，等等，我敢于打开我的年鉴，看到基思，然后看到大卫，我就像，哦，上帝。
And then, closed it shut, and said, I'll never look at that again.
然后，关上它，说，我再也不会看它了。
When he was 12, Dave and his family moved from Chicago to an upper-middle-class suburb of Los Angeles.
12 岁时，戴夫和家人从芝加哥搬到了洛杉矶的中上阶层郊区。
And things went pretty smoothly there.
那里的事情进展得很顺利。
Dave turned out to be a great football player, had a lot of friends and girlfriends, and after the initial surge of questions, issues of race or ethnicity, or what are you, just didn't come up too much.
戴夫原来是一名出色的足球运动员，有很多朋友和女朋友，在最初的大量问题之后，种族或民族问题，或者你是谁，只是没有出现太多。
After high school, things got harder.
高中毕业后，事情变得更加困难。
His college, he says, was extremely white, and he just began to feel different.
他说，他的大学是非常白人的，他开始感觉不一样了。
By now, he looked decidedly biracial.
到目前为止，他看起来绝对是混血儿。
When he met white girlfriends' parents, they would sometimes shift uncomfortably.
当他见到白人女友的父母时，他们有时会感到不舒服。
He learned the phrase, person of color, and thought of himself as both a white person and a person of color, as if there were such a thing.
他学会了“有色人种”这个词，并认为自己既是白人又是有色人种，好像确实有这样的事情。
If you saw David on the street, there's no way you'd think he was white.
如果你在街上看到大卫，你绝不会认为他是白人。
You'd think, biracial, or Puerto Rican, or Dominican.
你可能会想，混血儿，或者波多黎各人，或者多米尼加人。
He's very cute, with tight, soft, curly hair and light mocha-colored skin.
他非常可爱，有着紧致、柔软的卷发和浅摩卡色的皮肤。
By his mid-20s, David was starting to become an actor and go out on auditions.
二十多岁时，大卫开始成为一名演员并参加试镜。
And the roles he was up for were almost always Black or Latin men.
他所扮演的角色几乎都是黑人或拉丁裔男性。
One weekend, when he was in his late 20s, David took a trip to Chicago with one of his college friends, Aaron.
大卫 20 多岁时的一个周末，和他的一位大学朋友亚伦一起去芝加哥旅行。
They spent some time visiting David's family.
他们花了一些时间拜访大卫的家人。
They stayed downtown.
他们留在市中心。
They partied.
他们参加聚会。
And on their last night in Chicago, after David and Aaron had been drinking till 4:00 in the morning, they finally pulled up to their hotel.
在芝加哥的最后一晚，David 和 Aaron 一直喝到凌晨 4:00，他们终于回到了酒店。
We got out of the cab, and there was a homeless guy there.
我们下了出租车，发现那里有一个无家可归的人。
And he's a Black man.
他是一名黑人。
He's probably in his 40s or something.
他大概有40多岁了。
And he, like, asked for some money, and I think I gave him $1 or something.
他好像要了一些钱，我想我给了他 1 美元什么的。
And Aaron gets out money like he's going to give it to him, and then he's like, well, I want to give this to you, you know, but I want to tell you something and kind of launches into this thing about, as long as you don't use this to use drugs or to do something, and starts to give him a little pep talk, he thought, a pep talk.
亚伦拿出钱，就像他要把钱给他一样，然后他说，好吧，我想把这个给你，你知道，但我想告诉你一些事情，并开始做这件事，只要你不用它来吸毒或做某事，然后开始给他一些鼓舞人心的谈话，他想，鼓舞人心的谈话。
And you know, but to me, it was insulting.
你知道，但对我来说，这是一种侮辱。
The guy, I could just see the guy's whole demeanor just, like, oh, man, this guy.
这个家伙，我可以看到他的整个举止，就像，哦，天哪，这个家伙。
And we got in the elevator to go upstairs, I'm like, what are you doing?
我们坐电梯上楼，我问，你在做什么？
You know, like, he said, what do you mean?
你知道，就像，他说，你是什么意思？
I said, give the guy $1 or give the guy $1.
我说，给那家伙 1 美元，或者给那家伙 1 美元。
Don't give him your viewpoint.
不要告诉他你的观点。
And he's like, well, if I'm going to give the guy $1, I'm going to say something.
他说，好吧，如果我要给那个人 1 美元，我就会说点什么。
I said, well-- I said, you're, what, a 27-year-old white guy who grew up in a predominantly white area?
我说，嗯，我说，你是，什么，一个 27 岁的白人，在白人占主导地位的地区长大？
I said, I don't know his life, but you haven't lived his life.
我说，我不知道他的生活，但你没有过他的生活。
You know, he's a 40-year-old Black guy who is living on the streets now.
你知道，他是一个 40 岁的黑人，现在流落街头。
Who knows what the heck he's done?
谁知道他到底做了什么？
But look at-- what do you-- like, what do you see in me?
但是看看——你喜欢什么，你在我身上看到了什么？
What do you see here?
你在这里看到什么？
And it started to become a very heated and passionate discussion.
这开始成为一场非常激烈和充满激情的讨论。
Then I said, look at me, dark-skinned, blah, blah, blah.
然后我说，看看我，皮肤黑，等等，等等。
What do you see?
你看到了什么？
And he's like, he started to get to my point, you know, and I just blurted it out.
他就像，他开始明白我的意思，你知道，我只是脱口而出。
I said, I don't know if my mom [BLEEP] some Black guy or some Mexican guy.
我说，我不知道我妈妈[哔]是黑人还是墨西哥人。
I said, but this is me.
我说，但这就是我。
I have a different reality.
我有不同的现实。
And when that came out of your mouth, what did you--
当这句话从你嘴里说出来时，你做了什么——
When that came out of my mouth, like, you know-- I don't know how to even describe it.
当这句话从我嘴里说出来时，我什至不知道如何描述它。
You know, it's just one of those things where you just, like-- did I just say that?
你知道，这只是你会想的事情之一——我刚才说过吗？
So David had to talk to his mom, but he was terrified, terrified of unraveling a whole family built on the premise of one mom, one dad.
所以大卫不得不和他的妈妈谈谈，但他很害怕，害怕拆散建立在一个母亲、一个父亲的基础上的整个家庭。
Even though they'd gotten divorced years before, this seemed like a cataclysmic rewriting of history.
尽管他们几年前就离婚了，但这似乎是对历史的灾难性改写。
So he waited two whole years and tried not to think about it.
于是他等了整整两年，尽量不去想这件事。
And then, one morning, he drove to his mom's house without telling her why.
然后，一天早上，他开车去了他妈妈家，但没有告诉她原因。
When he got there, David realized he had no prepared script.
当他到达那里时，大卫意识到他没有准备好的剧本。
So he exchanged a few pleasantries, and he plunged.
于是他寒暄了几句，然后就陷入了困境。
He said, simply, I need to know where I come from.
他说，很简单，我需要知道我从哪里来。
Carol paused, looked at him, and responded, and you deserve to know.
卡罗尔停顿了一下，看着他，然后做出了回应，你应该知道。
In that moment, you know, I don't know.
在那一刻，你知道，我不知道。
It's like a lifetime happened.
就好像一生发生了一样。
And then, it was just like, OK.
然后，就好像，好吧。
And she said, Dave Paladino is not your biological father.
她说，戴夫·帕拉迪诺不是你的亲生父亲。
The next thing, please.
接下来的事情，请。
[CHUCKLES] And she's like, your father is a man by the name of Keith Rash, who we went to high school with, and he's Black.
[咯咯笑]她说，你的父亲是一个名叫基思·拉什的男人，我们和他一起上高中，他是黑人。
And then, my mom said, no surprise to you.
然后，我妈妈说，这对你来说并不奇怪。
With those words, Dave said it was like a symphony surged through his brain.
戴夫说，这句话就像一首交响乐在他的大脑中涌动。
It was a breakthrough and a relief.
这是一个突破，也是一种解脱。
And contrary to his mom's fears, David wasn't angry with her at all.
与他妈妈的担心相反，大卫根本没有生她的气。
He felt like he wasn't emotionally ready to know the truth after struggling personally in college and in the years after, until that very day.
他觉得自己在大学和之后的岁月里经历了个人的挣扎，直到那一天，在情感上还没有准备好了解真相。
He actually felt grateful she waited.
他其实很感激她的等待。
He was, though, worried about what David Sr. would do.
不过，他担心老大卫会做什么。
Turns out, Carol said, David Sr. had known for nine years.
卡罗尔说，事实证明，老大卫已经认识九年了。
She had told him before their divorce, and begged him not to tell his son.
她在离婚前就告诉过他，并恳求他不要告诉他的儿子。
David Sr. wasn't surprised.
老大卫并不感到惊讶。
He said he always knew somehow, below the surface of consciousness.
他说他总是在意识表面之下以某种方式知道。
There's a principle in science called Occam's Razor.
科学中有一个原理，叫做奥卡姆剃刀。
The idea is, if there are two possible explanations for some phenomenon, the simpler one is the better one to use.
这个想法是，如果某种现象有两种可能的解释，那么越简单的解释越好。
This principle goes back to Aristotle, who said, essentially, nature operates in the shortest way possible.
这一原则可以追溯到亚里士多德，他说，本质上，自然以尽可能最短的方式运作。
And in our daily lives, this is how we usually explain the world to ourselves.
在我们的日常生活中，这就是我们通常向自己解释世界的方式。
But the simple explanation isn't always the one we want.
但简单的解释并不总是我们想要的。
The Paladinos couldn't accept the plain answer that Dave had a different father.
圣骑士无法接受戴夫有不同父亲的简单答案。
They had to create something far more complex.
他们必须创造出更加复杂的东西。
What started a Carol's small secret simply grew too big to untangle.
卡罗尔的小秘密开始变得太大而无法解开。
When David was born, she believed he was her husband's son, and when David Sr. believed that, too, months, and even years later, she thought to herself, why shatter that relationship?
当大卫出生时，她相信他是她丈夫的儿子，当老大卫也相信这一点时，几个月甚至几年后，她心想，为什么要破坏这种关系呢？
She was so busy with three kids, she could often forget about David's coloring, sometimes even convincing herself that he might be her husband's anyway, that maybe there was something to that recessive gene idea.
她忙于照顾三个孩子，经常忘记大卫的肤色，有时甚至说服自己，无论如何，他可能是她丈夫的，也许隐性基因的想法有些道理。
David Sr. did a similar dance, pushing disturbing questions out of his mind, because subconsciously, he wanted his family, his world, to remain intact.
老大卫也跳了类似的舞蹈，将令人不安的问题从他的脑海中赶了出去，因为在潜意识里，他希望他的家庭、他的世界保持完整。
And the kids, like all kids, crave security, so they kept their questions buried, too.
孩子们和所有孩子一样，渴望安全感，所以他们也把问题隐藏起来。
It wasn't that love was blind.
并不是爱情是盲目的。
It was that everyone was blinded by the fear of losing love.
每个人都被失去爱情的恐惧蒙蔽了双眼。
No one wants to disturb the fragile bonds that keep us standing.
没有人想破坏我们赖以生存的脆弱纽带。
Dave says a lot of people don't get this, don't understand why his family didn't always know he was Black.
戴夫说很多人不明白这一点，不明白为什么他的家人并不总是知道他是黑人。
That's what people may not understand.
这就是人们可能不理解的地方。
Oh, yeah, Dave, well, I can tell you he's Black, or he's dark, or he's this.
哦，是的，戴夫，好吧，我可以告诉你他是黑人，或者他是黑暗的，或者他就是这样。
You know, [INAUDIBLE] those things are obvious, or I knew the whole time.
你知道，[听不清]这些事情是显而易见的，或者我一直都知道。
Like, go screw yourself.
就像，去搞砸自己吧。
Because the fact of the matter is is when you're in a situation and all you know is he's your dad and he's your son, and you know, I have support and I have love, you know, you're not looking to try and ruin that, or to-- you may have some questions.
因为事实是，当你处于某种情况时，你只知道他是你的父亲，他是你的儿子，你知道，我有支持，我有爱，你知道，你不想尝试破坏这一点，或者 - 你可能有一些问题。
We may have been in denial.
我们可能一直在否认。
Not may have-- we were, or whatever, to a certain degree.
可能不会——在某种程度上，我们曾经是，或者无论如何。
But you know what you know.
但你知道你所知道的。
As you might expect, David wanted to meet his biological father.
正如你所料，大卫想见见他的亲生父亲。
He started looking up Keith Rashes in telephone directories and calling them up.
他开始在电话簿中查找基思·拉什（Keith Rashes）并给他们打电话。
After months of reaching confused guys of all races, David finally tracked him down to an address on an Edgware Street in Memphis, Tennessee, no phone number available.
经过几个月的联系，大卫终于找到了他位于田纳西州孟菲斯埃奇韦尔街的一个地址，但没有提供电话号码。
David then avoided the issue again for six months, until he found himself in Florida on a job and decided to rent a car and drive 12 hours across five states in the rain.
随后，大卫在六个月内再次回避这个问题，直到他在佛罗里达州找到了一份工作，并决定租一辆车，在雨中开车 12 小时穿越五个州。
He found Edgware Street a little after 9:00 on a May morning.
五月的一个早晨，9:00 刚过，他就找到了埃奇韦尔街。
So I went to the front door-- [IMITATES KNOCKING] I knock on the front door.
所以我走到前门——[模仿敲门]我敲前门。
And I hear, around the corner, the side door open.
我听到拐角处侧门打开了。
Can I help you?
我可以帮你吗？
Oh, man.
哦，伙计。
Of course, my heart jumps into my throat.
当然，我的心提到了嗓子眼。
And I was like, what am I doing?
我当时想，我在做什么？
And there's a man holding the screen door open.
还有一个男人把纱门打开。
As soon as I come around the corner and I see this man, I'm like, oh my god, if that is not my father, I don't know who is.
当我走到拐角处看到这个男人时，我就想，天哪，如果那不是我父亲，我不知道谁是。
And I said, well-- I said, I'm looking for Keith Rash.
我说，好吧——我说，我正在寻找基思·拉什。
And he says, you got him.
他说，你抓住了他。
Who are you?
你是谁？
And I said, well, my name's David Paladino.
我说，好吧，我叫大卫·帕拉迪诺。
And he looks at me.
他看着我。
It's the strangest look on his face.
这是他脸上最奇怪的表情。
He said, didn't I go to high school with you?
他说，我不是跟你一起上高中的吗？
And I'm like, um, no, not exactly.
我想，嗯，不，不完全是。
I said, maybe you remember my mom, Carol Provenzano.
我说，也许你还记得我妈妈卡罗尔·普罗文扎诺。
And I'll never forget it.
我永远不会忘记它。
He's got his one hand, like, keeping the door propped open, and he starts to turn in, like, to go in.
他用一只手，就像，把门撑着，然后他开始转身，就像，要进去。
And while he's turning in, he says, come on in.
当他上床睡觉时，他说，进来吧。
When he turned to go in, and I saw his legs and his shoulders, and just, almost the way he walked, because he had a bum knee, all the times that I looked for family members-- oh, do they look like me?
当他转身进去时，我看到了他的腿和肩膀，几乎就像他走路的样子，因为他的膝盖受伤了，每次我寻找家人时——哦，他们看起来像我吗？
Is that like me, or is that-- all of a sudden, I was looking at, like, my legs.
那是像我吗，还是——突然之间，我看着我的腿。
Keith Rash moved to Memphis about 18 years ago, and now works a security night shift at the FedEx hub.
基思·拉什 (Keith Rash) 大约 18 年前搬到孟菲斯，现在在联邦快递中心从事夜班保安工作。
A few months ago, David and I went to Memphis to visit Keith.
几个月前，我和大卫去孟菲斯看望基思。
He's a gregarious, smiley guy, eager to please and excited that he has this brand-new son.
他是一个爱交际、爱笑的人，渴望取悦他人，并为自己有了这个全新的儿子而感到兴奋。
His apartment is almost entirely bare, save for a dining room table, a bed, and some empty boxes, and framed photographs everywhere.
他的公寓几乎空无一人，只有一张餐桌、一张床和一些空盒子，到处都是镶框的照片。
Underneath the bed and in the closet, there are more pictures, boxes and boxes of them, in albums and in bags.
床底下和衣柜里，还有更多的照片、盒子和盒子，在相册里和袋子里。
Now, this-- this guy here, you see the resemblance?
现在，这个——这个家伙，你看到相似之处了吗？
Yes.
是的。
Absolutely.
绝对地。
Keith Rash But yeah, I think him and David look a lot alike.
基思·拉什 但是，是的，我认为他和大卫看起来很像。
They do.
他们确实这么做了。
Keith Rash Yeah, that's-- this is Henry Rash.
基思·拉什（Keith Rash） 是的，这是——这是亨利·拉什（Henry Rash）。
He's from--
他来自——
In the time since his first trip to Memphis, Dave has been welcomed into the Rash family.
自从戴夫第一次去孟菲斯旅行以来，他就受到了拉什家族的欢迎。
He's met his half-brother and the rest of the family at a reunion in Chicago.
他在芝加哥的一次聚会上认识了他同父异母的兄弟和其他家庭成员。
He's making plans to spend some time with his grandmother in the next few months in Los Angeles.
他计划在接下来的几个月里去洛杉矶与祖母共度一段时光。
Keith gushes and fawns over Dave, bragging about his acting gigs and comparing his good looks to his other son, Shelly.
基思对戴夫滔滔不绝、阿谀奉承，吹嘘他的演艺事业，并将他的英俊外表与他的另一个儿子雪莉进行比较。
He says they're practically identical.
他说它们实际上是相同的。
Shelly was raised by his mom across the country, though he would visit Keith sometimes.
雪莉由他的妈妈在全国各地抚养长大，尽管他有时会去看望基思。
Keith shows us photos and tells us stories about his past.
基思向我们展示了照片并讲述了他的过去的故事。
There are a lot of people who have died or who he's lost touch with, and he alludes to difficult years and a few run-ins with the law.
有很多人已经去世，或者与他失去了联系，他提到了艰难的岁月和一些触犯法律的事情。
Now, he says, he lives through his two sons, and he doesn't have many friends or much of a life in Memphis.
他说，现在他靠两个儿子生活，在孟菲斯没有多少朋友，也没有多少生活。
He's more stable, mostly watches television, has a few drinks after work.
他比较稳定，主要看电视，下班后喝点酒。
Dave also brought pictures to show Keith.
戴夫还带来了照片给基思看。
He pulls out a baby picture and some kid shots with his sisters.
他拿出一张婴儿照片以及一些孩子和他的姐妹们的照片。
A couple here, when I was just a little, little man.
当我还是个小男人的时候，这里有一对夫妇。
[LAUGHTER] Keith Rash Ooh, wee.
[笑声] Keith Rash 噢，天啊。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, I'll tell you.
是的，我会告诉你。
You do look a little Afro-American on that, doesn't he, compared to-- yeah.
相比之下，你确实看起来有点像非裔美国人，不是吗？是的。
We decide to go out for some barbecue.
我们决定出去吃烧烤。
Keith lets Dave borrow his special Year of the Dragon necklace, and keeps clapping him on the back.
基思让戴夫借用他特别的龙年项链，并不断拍拍他的背。
David is a little shyer, more watchful.
大卫有点害羞，也更警惕。
On the way, I get this glimpse of what Keith is like.
在路上，我瞥见了基思的样子。
His personality is huge.
他的个性是巨大的。
He's funny and charming.
他很有趣，也很有魅力。
He won't call me my first name, Cris, or my last name, Beam, but Beamer.
他不会叫我的名字克里斯，也不会叫我的姓比姆，而是叫比默。
It's hard not to like him.
很难不喜欢他。
While we're out, the waitress seems to take a shine to Keith, and he, slowly easing his eyes over the rim of his whiskey glass, tries to pick her up, right in front of his son and a radio reporter with a foot-long microphone.
我们出去的时候，女服务员似乎对基思很感兴趣，他慢慢地把目光移到威士忌酒杯的边缘，试图去接她，就在他儿子和一名拿着一英尺长麦克风的电台记者面前。
So that means you're going to be busy later.
所以这意味着你以后会很忙。
Mm.
毫米。
Keith Rash See, the reason I ask-- let me just cut to the chase.
基思·拉什（Keith Rash） 瞧，我问这个问题的原因——让我开门见山吧。
That's right.
这是正确的。
[INAUDIBLE] Keith Rash We're going back by my house.
[听不清] Keith Rash 我们要回我家了。
I'm taking off from FedEx tonight.
今晚我将从联邦快递起飞。
OK.
好的。
Keith Rash And I thought it'd be nice if you might come by and keep this going here.
Keith Rash：我想如果你能过来让这件事继续下去就好了。
Why not?
为什么不呢？
[MUSIC - "HEARTZ OF MEN" BY TUPAC]
[音乐 - TUPAC 的《男人之心》]
We go back to Keith's apartment and listen to music, drink some beers, and hang out.
我们回到基思的公寓，听音乐，喝啤酒，然后出去玩。
Keith raps along with Tupac.
Keith 和 Tupac 一起说唱。
Dave hilariously practices his trained ballet moves to the beat in the middle of the living room.
戴夫在客厅中央欢闹地练习他训练有素的芭蕾舞动作。
The waitress calls and flirts, but never shows up.
女服务员打电话并调情，但从未出现。
Keith's fine with the fact that he didn't raise Dave.
基思对自己没有抚养戴夫这一事实感到满意。
He implies that he might not have always been the best influence himself.
他暗示他自己可能并不总是最有影响力的。
And if he has a problem with the fact that Dave grew up in a white world with no strong Black figures to guide him, he doesn't let on.
如果他对戴夫在白人世界长大，没有强大的黑人人物来指导他这一事实有疑问，他也不会表露出来。
He says Carol and David provided Dave with the strength of character to handle it.
他说卡罗尔和大卫为戴夫提供了处理这件事的性格力量。
Do you feel weird that they didn't tell him of his racial heritage at all?
他们根本没有告诉他他的种族血统，你是否感到奇怪？
That he grew up thinking he was that he was white, and then struggling with that difference?
他从小就认为自己是白人，然后又在这种差异中挣扎？
No, because it's got to go back to the family.
不，因为它必须回到家人身边。
If you got something that's been that deep-rooted for so long, why uproot it?
如果你拥有的东西已经根深蒂固这么久了，为什么要把它连根拔起呢？
For his part, Dave has had two years now to adapt to the fact that he's Black, and he's still adjusting.
就戴夫而言，他已经有两年的时间来适应自己是黑人的事实，而且他仍在调整之中。
It's awkward sometimes.
有时很尴尬。
He says there are some things he never learned or got used to.
他说有些事情他从未学过或习惯过。
Because-- just the mechanics of not ever really being around a whole lot of Black people, and when I'm ever around more than probably three or maybe four, or like a bigger group, then I'm-- not like I'm crawling in my skin, but that I'm just not as solid as I am sitting here right now.
因为——只是从来没有真正和很多黑人在一起的机制，当我周围超过三个或四个，或者像一个更大的群体时，那么我——不像我在我的皮肤里爬行，但我只是不像我现在坐在这里那么坚固。
So you're nervous.
所以你很紧张。
David Paladino Uh, I mean, it's not like I'm sitting there the whole time, kvetching, you know, oh my god.
大卫·帕拉迪诺 呃，我的意思是，我并没有一直坐在那里，怨天尤人，你知道，天哪。
But I'm like-- I'm just not as settled all the time.
但我想——我只是不总是那么安定。
You know, I'm not as present or as centered as I am, like, sitting here talking.
你知道，我不像坐在这里说话那样专注或专注。
I think that somebody who's known all their life that they're half-this and half-that probably has more of an identity, maybe?
我认为一个一生都知道自己一半是这个、一半是那个的人可能有更多的身份，也许吧？
What's amazing about this story is that nobody's mad.
这个故事的奇妙之处在于没有人生气。
Keith's not bitter that he had no access to his son.
基思并不因为无法接触到儿子而感到痛苦。
David's not mad at his mother and never has been.
大卫没有生他母亲的气，从来没有生过气。
Even Dave Sr. isn't angry.
就连老戴夫也不生气。
He still feels just as much David's father as he ever did, which brings us back to Occam's Razor, the principle that the simplest explanation for something is the best one.
他仍然像以前一样感受到大卫的父亲，这让我们回到了奥卡姆剃刀原则，即对某事最简单的解释就是最好的解释。
In a family, the explanation that seems simplest can switch over time.
在家庭中，看似最简单的解释可能会随着时间的推移而发生变化。
When David was young, the simpler thing to believe was that his parents were his parents and his family was his family, and that he was a Paladino.
当大卫年轻时，更容易相信的是他的父母是他的父母，他的家人是他的家人，他是帕拉迪诺。
As he got older, that story got harder to maintain, and the other explanation, that Keith was his father, became the simplest for everyone.
随着年龄的增长，这个故事变得越来越难以维持，而另一种解释，即基思是他的父亲，对每个人来说都变得最简单。
And when the family shifted from one story to the other, they didn't get caught up in issues of race, and paternity, and lying, and betrayal.
当家庭从一个故事转向另一个故事时，他们并没有陷入种族、亲子关系、谎言和背叛等问题。
When the truth came out, the truth that the whole family was fearing for so long, it didn't spark any great drama at all.
当真相大白时，全家人都担心了这么久的真相，并没有引发任何伟大的戏剧性事件。
It just put people at peace.
它只是让人们感到平静。
Cris Beam in Los Angeles.
克里斯·比姆在洛杉矶。
Coming up, David Sedaris conducts an experiment with fluids and heat in a 2-and-1/2-foot tube.
接下来，David Sedaris 在 2 又 1/2 英尺的管子中进行了一项液体和热量实验。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Family Physics, stories of everyday life which we come to understand better by applying the laws and principles of science.
今天的节目，家庭物理学，日常生活的故事，我们通过应用科学定律和原理来更好地理解。
We have arrived at act two of our program, Act Two, The Trajectory and Force of Bodies in Orbit.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕，第二幕，轨道上物体的轨迹和力。
Jon Ronson is a writer living in England.
乔恩·罗森是一位居住在英国的作家。
He does an occasional documentary story for British television.
他偶尔为英国电视台拍摄纪录片故事。
And he tells this modest story of the universal laws which govern our daily behavior.
他讲述了这个朴素的故事，讲述了支配我们日常行为的普遍法则。
In it, he is in a reluctant orbit around his parents, and his parents are in a rather energetic orbit, around, well, you'll see.
在里面，他在一个不情愿的轨道上围绕着他的父母，而他的父母则在一个相当充满活力的轨道上，围绕着，嗯，你会看到的。
My family runs a hotel in the Brecon Beacons mountain range of mid-Wales.
我的家人在威尔士中部的布雷肯比肯斯山脉经营一家酒店。
I go home to the hotel every Christmas, and at some point, I always manage to say, I treat this place just like a hotel, and this always gets a big laugh.
我每年圣诞节都会回到酒店，在某些时候，我总是设法说，我把这个地方当作酒店一样对待，这总是引起大笑。
Sometimes, famous people stay at the hotel, too, which my parents treat as a perk of the job.
有时，名人也会入住酒店，我父母将其视为工作的额外福利。
My mother always calls me up when it happens.
当事情发生时，我妈妈总是打电话叫我。
When the British TV news reporter, John Cole, was there recently, my mother phoned me up and said, guess what?
最近，当英国电视新闻记者约翰·科尔在那里时，我母亲打电话给我说，你猜怎么着？
John Cole's staying here!
约翰·科尔留在这里！
Oh, and he hasn't heard of you!
哦，他还没有听说过你！
A few years ago, John Birt, the Director General of the BBC, came in to have lunch.
几年前，英国广播公司 (BBC) 总干事约翰·伯特 (John Birt) 来吃午饭。
My father approached his table.
我父亲走近他的桌子。
Are you John Birt?
你是约翰·伯特吗？
He asked.
他问道。
Yes, said Jon Birt.
是的，乔恩·伯特说。
I wonder if you can help, said my father.
我不知道你能不能帮忙，”我父亲说。
The TV reception in this area can be all crackly and fuzzy.
该地区的电视接收信号非常不稳定且模糊。
Is there anything you can do about this?
对此你能做些什么吗？
I think my father wanted John Birt to get onto the roof and fix the aerial.
我想我父亲希望约翰·伯特到屋顶上修理天线。
We spoke about all sorts, my father told me on the phone afterwards, the problems I'm having with my car.
后来我父亲在电话里告诉我，我们谈论了各种各样的问题，包括我的车遇到的问题。
He couldn't believe it's been in the garage six times.
他不敢相信它已经在车库里出现过六次了。
Oh, and he hasn't heard of you, added my mother on the extension line.
哦，他还没有听说过你，”我母亲在分机上补充道。
Recently, my parents won the coveted Welsh Hotel of the Year competition.
最近，我的父母赢得了令人垂涎的威尔士年度酒店竞赛。
It was a big honor, and they wanted to do something to commemorate the success.
这是一项巨大的荣誉，他们想做一些事情来纪念这一成功。
So they decided to commission a portrait painter to immortalize the Ronsons.
因此，他们决定委托一位肖像画家来让朗森一家永垂不朽。
We've decided to have a group family portrait commissioned, said my mother on the phone, a Ronson family portrait to be hung in the bar.
“我们决定委托拍摄一幅全家福，”我母亲在电话里说，将一幅罗森全家福挂在酒吧里。
Will you be available for a sitting?
您可以坐下来吗？
Certainly, I said.
当然，我说。
Who's doing it?
谁在做这件事？
He's a brilliant but troubled local artist, she said.
她说，他是一位才华横溢但陷入困境的当地艺术家。
He did the mural for the new Cardiff multiplex.
他为新卡迪夫多厅影院创作了壁画。
You must have heard of it.
你一定听说过它。
No, I said.
不，我说。
Oh, come on!
哦，来吧！
She said.
她说。
It's been in all the papers.
所有的报纸都报道过这件事。
Anyway, he paints hotels, too.
无论如何，他也画酒店。
He came up to ask us if we wanted ours painted.
他走过来问我们是否要画我们的。
You mean, he depicts hotels on canvas?
你是说，他在画布上描绘了酒店？
I asked.
我问。
Oh, no, no, she said.
哦，不，不，她说。
He actually paints the walls of hotels.
他实际上粉刷了酒店的墙壁。
So he's a painter and a decorator?
那么他是一名画家和装潢师？
I asked.
我问。
What's your problem?
你有什么问题吗？
Said my mother.
我妈妈说。
Are you being snooty?
你是不是很傲慢？
It turned out that the brilliant but troubled artist's particular subspecialty is painting celebrities in classical Renaissance settings, like Clint Eastwood ascending to heaven surrounded by angels.
事实证明，这位才华横溢但陷入困境的艺术家的特殊专长是在古典文艺复兴时期的背景下画名人，比如克林特·伊斯特伍德在天使环绕下升入天堂。
His loving recreations of celebrities set my parents thinking, so many famous people stay at their hotel.
他对名人的热爱让我父母思考，这么多名人都住在他们的酒店。
What if the Ronson family portrait was extended to include celebrities?
如果朗森全家福的范围扩大到包括名人会怎样？
Listen to this, said my mother on the phone the next day.
听听这个，第二天我妈妈在电话里说。
We, the family, will be standing in the grounds of the hotel, surrounded by famous people.
我们一家人将站在酒店的庭院里，周围都是名人。
Which famous people?
有哪些名人？
I asked.
我问。
You mean, the famous people who've stayed at the hotel?
你是说住过这家酒店的名人吗？
Oh, no, said my mother.
哦，不，我妈妈说。
Any famous people that we choose.
我们选择的任何名人。
I fell silent on the other end of the phone, trying to let the incredible of this proposed project sink in.
我在电话那头陷入了沉默，试图让大家了解这个拟议项目的不可思议之处。
My mother carried on.
我母亲继续说下去。
She said, we're working on a tight deadline.
她说，我们的工作期限很紧。
Send a Polaroid of yourself to the artist.
将您自己的宝丽来照片发送给艺术家。
You have to come up with your three famous people by Wednesday-- living or dead, comedian, statesmen, actors, anything.
你必须在周三之前想出你心目中的三位名人——活着的或去世的、喜剧演员、政治家、演员，任何东西。
Let me clarify this in my head, I said.
让我在脑子里澄清一下，我说。
There's nothing to clarify!
没什么好澄清的！
Said my mother.
我妈妈说。
Don't you think it may come across as a little self-aggrandizing?
你不觉得这可能会显得有点自我夸大吗？
I asked.
我问。
I'm choosing President Kennedy, Gandhi, and Churchill, said my mother.
“我选择肯尼迪总统、甘地总统和丘吉尔总统，”我母亲说。
My father came onto the phone.
我父亲接起了电话。
Who are you choosing?
你选择谁？
I asked him.
我问他。
Gary Player, Arnold Palmer, and Jack Nicklaus, he said.
加里·普莱尔、阿诺德·帕尔默和杰克·尼克劳斯，他说。
All golfers?
所有高尔夫球手？
I asked.
我问。
Who are you choosing?
你选择谁？
Asked my father.
我父亲问道。
My mind drew a blank.
我的脑子一片空白。
In fact, I began to panic.
事实上，我开始惊慌了。
I imagined, in hundreds of years' time, notable art historians gathered around the painting, making sarcastic comments.
我想象着，数百年后，著名的艺术史学家聚集在这幅画周围，发表讽刺的评论。
Paintings are so permanent.
绘画是如此永恒。
I was to be frozen in time for eternity with three celebrities.
我将与三位名人一起永远冻结在时间里。
And now, the question was, which celebrities best represented Jon Ronson's essence?
现在的问题是，哪些名人最能代表乔恩·罗森的本质？
It was easy for my father.
这对我父亲来说很容易。
It was as if each of his three golfers portrayed a different subtlety to his personality.
就好像他的三个高尔夫球手中的每一个都描绘了他个性中不同的微妙之处。
There was Arnold Palmer, the kind and thoughtful golfer with the common touch.
阿诺德·帕尔默（Arnold Palmer）是一位善良、体贴、平易近人的高尔夫球手。
There was Jack Nicklaus, the fiery, steely golfer who once said, nobody ever remembers who finished second at anything.
杰克·尼克劳斯（Jack Nicklaus）是一位热情、坚强的高尔夫球手，他曾经说过，没有人记得谁在任何事情上获得了第二名。
And there was Gary Player, the philosophical golfer whose 10 commandments for life, as seen on GaryPlayer.com, includes, the fox fears not the man who boasts by night, but the man who rises early in the morning.
还有加里·普莱尔（Gary Player），一位富有哲理的高尔夫球手，正如 GaryPlayer.com 上所见，他的人生十诫包括：狐狸不怕晚上吹牛的人，但怕清晨起床的人。
But who could I choose?
但我能选择谁呢？
I found myself feeling hostile to the whole idea, a hostility that manifested itself in a lazy choice of celebrities.
我发现自己对整个想法感到敌意，这种敌意表现在对名人的懒惰选择上。
I'm going for The Beverley Sisters, I told my mother on the phone.
我要去贝弗利姐妹乐队，我在电话里告诉妈妈。
I actually have no interest in girl groups of the 1940s, but I did know that The Beverley Sisters all looked exactly alike, and my choice was designed to be viewed by art historians of the future as an ironic silent protest.
其实我对 20 世纪 40 年代的女子团体不感兴趣，但我确实知道贝弗利姐妹看起来都一模一样，而我的选择旨在被未来的艺术史学家视为一种讽刺性的无声抗议。
You can't have The Beverley Sisters, said my mother, knowing me well enough to understand all of this in an instant.
你不能拥有贝弗利姐妹，我母亲说，她很了解我，可以立即理解这一切。
How about Sister Sledge?
斯莱奇姐姐呢？
I said.
我说。
Are you trying to ruin this?
你想破坏这一切吗？
Said my mother.
我妈妈说。
I relented and opted for my real all-time celebrity hero.
我心软了，选择了我真正的名人英雄。
Randy Newman, I said.
兰迪·纽曼，我说。
Nobody knows what Randy Newman looks like!
没有人知道兰迪·纽曼长什么样！
She snapped.
她厉声说道。
In the end, we compromised.
最后我们妥协了。
For all time, it would be Jon Ronson, Ike and Tina Turner, and Boris Yeltsin.
一直以来，这个人都是乔恩·罗森、艾克·特纳和蒂娜·特纳，以及鲍里斯·叶利钦。
The Ronsons were going to be hobnobbing amongst the stars.
朗森一家将在明星中交往。
The laws of physics tells us that one needs to be very careful approaching a star.
物理定律告诉我们，接近一颗恒星需要非常小心。
If your trajectory and speed are just right, you'll go into orbit, safe and sound, glowing in the warm, beautiful starlight.
如果你的轨迹和速度恰到好处，你就会安全无恙地进入轨道，在温暖美丽的星光下闪闪发光。
If you mess up in any way, the wrong direction, the wrong speed, you'll hurtle into the face of the star and be vaporized.
如果你以任何方式搞砸了，方向错误，速度错误，你就会冲进恒星的表面并被蒸发。
And only the star will remain.
只有星星会留下来。
My parents were involving us in a very dangerous game.
我的父母让我们参与了一场非常危险的游戏。
A few days later, my mother called to tell me that the concept had slightly changed.
几天后，妈妈打电话告诉我，观念发生了一些变化。
Each Ronson, she said, would no longer be just standing and chatting to the celebrities.
她说，每个朗森将不再只是站着和名人聊天。
We were to be serving them drinks.
我们要为他们提供饮料。
This was, after all, a hotel.
毕竟，这是一家酒店。
So now, I was to be frozen in time in an act of subservience to Boris Yeltsin.
所以现在，我要以对鲍里斯·叶利钦的屈从行为来冻结时间。
A few days later, the concept changed yet again.
几天后，这个想法又发生了变化。
It was back to standing and chatting, but this time, the Ronsons would be talking, and the celebrities would be listening.
又回到了站着聊天的状态，但这一次，朗森一家在说话，名人在听。
So you'll be talking?
那么你会说话吗？
I clarified.
我澄清了。
And Kennedy, Gandhi, and Churchill will be listening?
肯尼迪、甘地和丘吉尔会倾听吗？
What's the problem?
有什么问题吗？
Said my mother.
我妈妈说。
Oh, nothing, nothing, I said.
哦，没什么，没什么，我说。
I'm just worried that people may get the wrong idea, you know, that we consider ourselves as good as Kennedy and--
我只是担心人们可能会产生错误的想法，你知道，我们认为自己和肯尼迪一样优秀，而且——
What are you saying?
你在说什么？
Said my mother.
我妈妈说。
Nothing, I said.
没什么，我说。
I changed the subject.
我改变了话题。
What will you be talking to Kennedy, Gandhi, and Churchill about?
您将与肯尼迪、甘地和丘吉尔谈论什么？
What do you mean, what will I be talking to them about?
你是什么意思，我要和他们谈论什么？
Said my mother.
我妈妈说。
Nothing!
没有什么！
I'm talking to them about nothing!
我跟他们什么都没说！
It's a painting!
这是一幅画！
Maybe Dad would be talking to the golfers about the amount of times his car has been in the garage, I suggested.
我建议，也许爸爸会和高尔夫球手谈论他的车停在车库里的次数。
I sent in my Polaroids, and we all waited.
我寄出了我的宝丽来照片，我们都在等待。
Months passed.
几个月过去了。
My father would telephone the artist from time to time to find out how things were going, and when was it going to be finished.
我父亲时不时地给艺术家打电话，了解事情进展如何，什么时候完成。
Most often, the artist didn't pick up.
大多数情况下，艺术家都没有接听。
And when he did, he was a man of few words, words that were spoken gruffly.
当他这样做的时候，他是一个寡言少语、说话粗声粗气的人。
Nearly there, he said.
快到了，他说。
Are you pleased with it so far?
到目前为止你还满意吗？
Asked my father.
我父亲问道。
Don't worry, said the artist.
别担心，艺术家说。
My father began to worry.
我父亲开始担心。
The day of the grand unveiling came without warning.
盛大揭幕的日子毫无预兆地到来了。
The artist just turned up one morning, carrying a large canvas covered in a white sheet.
一天早上，这位艺术家刚刚出现，手里拿着一张覆盖着白床单的大画布。
He propped it up against the bar.
他把它靠在吧台上。
The family gathered around it with a sense of great expectation.
一家人都聚集在它周围，充满了期待。
Everyone looked at the covered painting and at the brilliant but troubled artist, trying to scrutinize his facial expression.
每个人都看着被遮盖的画作，看着这位才华横溢却陷入困境的艺术家，试图审视他的面部表情。
It was, well, troubled.
嗯，它很麻烦。
The artist said, I think you ought to know that I'm going through a creative stage, which some people find difficult to connect to.
艺术家说，我想你应该知道我正在经历一个创作阶段，有些人很难理解这个阶段。
There was a nervous silence.
一阵紧张的沉默。
What I'm saying, he continued, is there's a possibility you may not like it.
他继续说道，我想说的是，你可能不喜欢它。
The Ronsons looked anxiously at one another.
朗森一家焦急地看着对方。
Then, with a flourish, the artist whipped off the sheet.
然后，艺术家猛地一挥手，撕下了这张纸。
There you go, he said.
就这样吧，他说。
For a moment, the Ronsons just stared.
有一瞬间，罗森一家只是盯着看。
My mother whispered, oh my God.
我妈妈低声说，天哪。
She clutched her chest, yelped quietly, and stormed out of the room.
她捂着胸口，小声地叫了一声，冲出了房间。
My brother and his wife followed, as a show of unity, slamming the door behind them.
我的兄弟和他的妻子紧随其后，关上门，以示团结。
The artist was left alone with my father.
艺术家独自一人和我父亲在一起。
They didn't make eye contact.
他们没有眼神交流。
They just stared at the painting.
他们只是盯着这幅画。
The famous people had all been painted with tender accuracy.
那些名人都被描绘得十分精确。
There were a few celebrities like Clint Eastwood that none of the Ronsons had actually asked for.
有一些像克林特·伊斯特伍德这样的名人，实际上朗森一家都没有邀请过。
But that wasn't the problem.
但这不是问题。
The problem was that although the celebrities were lovingly depicted, the Ronsons stood amongst them as human, grotesqueries, repulsive caricatures of monsters.
问题是，尽管名人被亲切地描绘出来，但朗森一家却站在他们中间，把他们视为人类、怪诞、令人厌恶的怪物漫画。
My brother looked like Frankenstein.
我哥哥看起来像弗兰肯斯坦。
He had a bolt through his neck.
他的脖子上有一根螺栓。
It was disturbing and humiliating.
这是令人不安和羞辱的。
My parents looked like hastily sketched recovering drug addicts.
我的父母看起来就像是匆匆画出来的正在康复的吸毒者。
I looked like a gawky, spotty adolescent, frozen in a gormless pose.
我看起来就像一个笨拙、斑点多的青少年，僵硬地摆出一副笨拙的姿势。
Sorry, said the painter, looking at the floor.
抱歉，画家看着地板说道。
We're not paying for it, said my father.
“我们不付钱，”我父亲说。
There was a long silence.
一阵长时间的沉默。
My father ordered the artist to paint the Ronsons out.
我父亲命令艺术家把朗森一家画下来。
And after much negotiation, he agreed.
经过多次协商，他同意了。
He turned my mother into Woody Allen.
他把我的母亲变成了伍迪·艾伦。
That's kind of humiliating in itself, that the easiest brush over would render her as Woody Allen.
这本身就是一种耻辱，最容易的刷过就会让她变成伍迪·艾伦。
My father is Jimmy Carter.
我的父亲是吉米·卡特。
I like to think the artist chose Jimmy Carter, the famed peacemaker, to replace my dad in an homage to my father's diplomacy, as he was the only Ronson who didn't storm out.
我喜欢认为这位艺术家选择了著名的和平缔造者吉米·卡特来取代我父亲，以向我父亲的外交致敬，因为他是唯一一个没有暴走的朗森。
My brother was turned into David Rockefeller, and his wife was turned into Henry Kissinger, which I interpret as an act of hostility.
我的兄弟被变成了大卫·洛克菲勒，他的妻子被变成了亨利·基辛格，我将其解释为一种敌对行为。
The only Ronson left in the portrait is, oddly, me.
奇怪的是，肖像中唯一剩下的罗森是我。
The painting now hangs between the cigarette machine and the coat stand of the bar in my family's hotel.
这幅画现在挂在我家酒店酒吧的香烟售卖机和衣帽架之间。
And it's the cause of much interest amongst the customers.
这也是客户非常感兴趣的原因。
They crowd around it, trying to guess who everyone is.
他们聚集在它周围，试图猜出每个人都是谁。
That's Kennedy, they say.
他们说那是肯尼迪。
Look, Boris Yeltsin!
看，鲍里斯·叶利钦！
Nobody gets David Rockefeller.
没有人能理解大卫·洛克菲勒。
I have to say, it's David Rockefeller!
不得不说，他就是大卫·洛克菲勒！
Ah, they reply.
啊，他们回答。
David Rockefeller.
大卫·洛克菲勒。
They stare blankly at the likeness of me, too, for whole minutes at a time, trying to figure out who exactly I am.
他们也茫然地盯着我的肖像，一次整整几分钟，试图弄清楚我到底是谁。
I'm famous!
我出名了！
I say.
我说。
I've been on TV.
我上过电视。
But they all just squint and shrug.
但他们都只是眯着眼睛耸耸肩。
If my mother is there, she'll cheerfully pipe in.
如果我妈妈在的话，她会很高兴地插话。
Oh, they've never heard of you.
哦，他们从来没有听说过你。
Jon Ronson.
乔恩·罗森.
He's the author of The Men Who Stare at Goats and other books.
他是《盯着山羊的人》和其他书籍的作者。
[MUSIC - "STARS IN MY LIFE" BY THE FLATLANDERS]
[音乐 - 《我生命中的星星》，作者：Flatlanders]
(SINGING) The stars in my life will shine like sunshine.
（唱）我生命中的星星将像阳光一样闪耀。
If only I can see your smiling face.
如果我能看到你的笑脸就好了。
Though this universe collapses on occasion, the stars in my life will stay in place.
尽管这个宇宙有时会崩溃，但我生命中的星星将留在原地。
Act Three, Conservation of Matter and Energy.
第三幕，物质和能量守恒。
Matter and energy are different versions of each other.
物质和能量是彼此不同的版本。
And while you can convert one into the other, they cannot be created or destroyed.
虽然您可以将其中一种转换为另一种，但它们无法创建或销毁。
David Sedaris was reminded of this basic principle of matter recently when he tried a personal experiment of his own with an accessory he bought himself.
最近，当大卫·塞达里斯（David Sedaris）用自己买的配件进行个人实验时，他想起了这一物质的基本原理。
His story was recorded in front of a live audience by Seattle Arts and Lectures.
西雅图艺术与讲座在现场观众面前录制了他的故事。
Quick warning to the squeamish-- this story contains possibly sensitive content.
快速警告那些神经质的人——这个故事可能包含敏感内容。
There's nothing sexual or graphic, but some people might find it gross.
没有任何色情或色情内容，但有些人可能会觉得很恶心。
I've always liked the idea of accessories.
我一直很喜欢配饰的想法。
It was my search for something discreet, masculine, and practical that led me to the Stadium Pal, an external catheter currently being marketed to sports fans--
正是我对谨慎、阳刚和实用的东西的追求让我找到了 Stadium Pal，这是一种目前正在向体育迷销售的外部导管——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --truck drivers, and anyone else who's tired of searching for a bathroom.
[观众笑声]——卡车司机，以及任何厌倦寻找卫生间的人。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] At first inspection, the device met all my criteria.
[观众笑声] 第一次检查时，该设备符合我的所有标准。
Was it masculine?
是男性的吗？
Yes.
是的。
And proudly so.
并自豪地如此。
Unlike a regular catheter, which is inserted directly into the penis, the Stadium Pal connects by way of a self-adhesive condom, which is then attached to a flexible rubber tube.
与直接插入阴茎的常规导管不同，Stadium Pal 通过自粘式避孕套进行连接，然后将其连接到柔性橡胶管上。
Urine flows through the tube and collects in the Freedom Leg Bag--
尿液流过管子并收集在 Freedom Leg Bag 中——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --conveniently attached to the user's calf.
[观众笑声]——方便地附着在用户的小腿上。
The bag can be emptied and reused up to 12 times, making it both disgusting and cost-effective.
该袋子可以清空并重复使用多达 12 次，使其既恶心又划算。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] And what could be manlier?
[观众笑声] 还有什么比这更有男子气概呢？
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Was it discreet?
[观众笑声] 谨慎吗？
According to the brochure, unless you wore it with shorts--
按照宣传册上的说法，除非你穿短裤——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --no one needed to know a thing about it.
[观众笑声]——没有人需要知道这件事。
Was it practical?
实用吗？
At the time, yes.
当时，是的。
I don't drive or attend football games, but I did have a book tour coming up.
我不开车也不参加足球比赛，但我确实有一个巡回售书活动即将到来。
And the possibilities were endless.
可能性是无限的。
Five glasses of iced tea, followed by a long public reading?
五杯冰茶，然后进行长时间的公开阅读？
Thanks, Stadium Pal.
谢谢，体育场朋友。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] The window seat on an overbooked cross-country flight?
[观众笑声] 超额预订的越野航班上的靠窗座位？
Don't mind if I do.
如果我这样做的话，请不要介意。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] I ordered myself a Stadium Pal, and realized that while it might make sense in a hospital, it really wasn't very practical for day-to-day use.
[观众笑声] 我给自己订购了一个 Stadium Pal，并意识到虽然它在医院可能有意义，但对于日常使用来说确实不太实用。
In an open-air sporting arena, a piping hot 32-ounce bag of urine might go unnoticed.
在露天运动场上，一袋滚烫的 32 盎司尿液可能不会被注意到。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] But not so in a stuffy airplane--
[观众笑声] 但在闷热的飞机上却不是这样——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --or a small, crowded bookstore.
[观众笑声]——或者是一个拥挤的小书店。
An hour after christening it, I smelled like a nursing home.
给它命名一小时后，我闻起来像疗养院的味道。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] On top of that, I found that it was hard to pee and do other things at the same time.
[观众笑声] 最重要的是，我发现很难一边撒尿一边做其他事情。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --discussing my dinner options with a flight attendant--
[观众笑声]——与空姐讨论我的晚餐选择——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --checking into a fine hotel.
[观众笑声]——入住一家不错的酒店。
Each activity required its own separate form of concentration.
每项活动都需要其各自不同的专注形式。
And while no one knew exactly what I was up to, it was pretty clear that something was going on.
虽然没有人确切知道我在做什么，但很明显有些事情正在发生。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] I think it was my face that gave me away.
[观众笑声]我想是我的脸出卖了我。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] That and my oddly swollen calf.
[观众笑声]那个和我奇怪肿胀的小腿。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] What ultimately did me in was the self-adhesive condom.
[观众笑声]最终让我陷入困境的是自粘避孕套。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Putting it on was no problem, but it's removal qualified as what in certain cultures is known as a bris.
[观众笑声]戴上它没有问题，但将其取下就相当于在某些文化中被称为“bris”的东西。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Wear it once, and you'll need a solid month in order to fully recover.
[观众笑声] 穿一次，你就需要一个月的时间才能完全康复。
It would likely be a month in which you'll weigh the relative freedom of peeing in your pants against the unsightly discomfort of a scab-covered penis.
这一个月你可能会权衡在裤子里撒尿的相对自由与结痂的阴茎的难看不适。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Ira Glass David Sedaris, who was recorded by Seattle Arts and Lectures.
[观众笑声] Ira Glass David Sedaris，由西雅图艺术与讲座公司录制。
He is the author of many fine books, and he's out on the road these days, giving talks.
他是许多好书的作者，这些天他经常外出演讲。
To find out when he's coming to your town, visit DavidSedarisBooks.com
要了解他何时来到您的城镇，请访问 DavidSedarisBooks.com
Well, our program was produced today by Jonathan Goldstein and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Wendy Dorr, and Starlee Kine.
好吧，我们今天的节目是由乔纳森·戈尔茨坦和我本人以及亚历克斯·布隆伯格、温迪·多尔和斯塔莉·凯恩共同制作的。
Senior producer for today's show was Julie Snyder.
今天节目的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Contributing editors for today's show-- Susan Burton, Rebecca Carroll, Jack Hitt, Margie Rockland, Alix Spiegel, Paul Tough, Nancy Updike, and consigliere Sarah Vowell.
今天节目的特约编辑包括苏珊·伯顿 (Susan Burton)、丽贝卡·卡罗尔 (Rebecca Carroll)、杰克·希特 (Jack Hitt)、玛吉·洛克兰 (Margie Rockland)、阿利克斯·斯皮格尔 (Alix Spiegel)、保罗·托夫 (Paul Tough)、南希·厄普代克 (Nancy Updike) 和顾问莎拉·沃威尔 (Sarah Vowell)。
Music help today from Jamie Hodge and Sarah Vowell.
今天的音乐由杰米·霍奇和莎拉·沃威尔提供帮助。
Our website, ThisAmericanLife.org.
我们的网站 ThisAmericanLife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia, who explained some recent decisions at the radio station this way.
一如既往，感谢我们节目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生，他以这种方式解释了广播电台最近的一些决定。
I think you ought to know that I'm going through a creative stage, which some people find difficult to connect to.
我想你应该知道我正在经历一个创造性的阶段，有些人觉得很难理解这个阶段。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。