198: How to Win Friends and Influence People - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #198 | January 3, 2025 198: How to Win Friends and Influence People Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 198 集 | 2025 年 1 月 3 日 198：如何赢得朋友并影响他人 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass How to Win Friends and Influence People.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 如何赢得朋友并影响他人。
First published in 1936.
1936 年首次出版。
When you read this thing, you can see why it is number one.
当你读到这篇文章时，你就会明白为什么它是第一名。
Dale Carnegie writes in this pepped up style.
戴尔·卡内基以这种充满活力的风格写作。
You don't think of the word "moxie" much anymore, but when you read this, it is typical.
你不再经常想起“莫西”这个词，但当你读到这篇文章时，它很典型。
In preparation for writing this book, he read everything he could find on the subject.
在准备写这本书的过程中，他阅读了他能找到的有关该主题的所有内容。
Then he lists all this stuff that he and his trained researcher read to figure out how the great leaders of all ages had dealt with people.
然后，他列出了他和他训练有素的研究人员阅读的所有这些内容，以了解各个年龄段的伟大领导人是如何与人打交道的。
He says, "I recalled that we read over 100 biographies of Theodore Roosevelt alone.
他说：“我记得光是西奥多·罗斯福的传记我们就读了 100 多本。
We were determined to spare no time, no expense, to discover every practical idea that anyone had ever used throughout the ages for winning friends and influencing people."
我们决心不遗余力、不惜一切代价，去发现古往今来人们用来赢得朋友和影响他人的每一个实用想法。”
Anyway, on page 61 of the edition that I have, Dale Carnegie tells one of the many, many stories he uses to illustrate the very main idea that underlies the whole book.
无论如何，在我所拥有的版本的第 61 页上，戴尔·卡内基讲述了他用来说明整本书的主要思想的许多故事之一。
He says, "I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer.
他说：“夏天我经常去缅因州钓鱼。
Personally, I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms.
就我个人而言，我非常喜欢草莓和奶油，但我发现由于某些奇怪的原因，鱼更喜欢蠕虫。
So when I went fishing, I didn't think about what I wanted, I thought about what they wanted.
所以当我去钓鱼的时候，我没有考虑我想要什么，我想的是他们想要什么。
I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream, rather I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said, wouldn't you like to have that?
我没有用草莓和奶油作为诱饵，而是在鱼面前挂了一条虫子或一只蚱蜢，然后说，你不想吃那个吗？
Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?"
为什么在钓鱼时不使用同样的常识呢？”
To win friends and influence people, Dale Carnegie says over and over in the book, think about what they want.
戴尔·卡内基在书中一遍又一遍地说，要赢得朋友并影响别人，就要考虑他们想要什么。
People, he says, are basically only interested in themselves.
他说，人们基本上只对自己感兴趣。
And if you can get yourself to the point where you are genuinely interested in them and what they like and what they want, then they will like you, and they will do your bidding.
如果你能让自己真正对他们感兴趣，对他们喜欢什么、想要什么，那么他们就会喜欢你，并且会听从你的命令。
So imagine you are 11 years old and you dad notices that you don't bring many friends around the house.
想象一下，你 11 岁了，你爸爸注意到你在家里没有带很多朋友。
And he takes you aside and he gives you a copy of this actual book.
他把你拉到一边，给你一本这本书的副本。
This happened.
这件事发生了。
This happened to Paul Feig, growing up in suburban Michigan.
这种情况发生在保罗·费格身上，他在密歇根郊区长大。
At first I didn't know what to think.
起初我不知道该怎么想。
First of all, if you've ever seen the book, it's got this picture of Dale Carnegie on the front, who is somewhere in his 60s or 70s wearing those Mr. Menace glasses.
首先，如果你看过这本书，它的封面上有一张戴尔·卡内基的照片，他大约 60 多岁或 70 多岁，戴着那副威胁先生眼镜。
The Dennis the Menace's dad used to wear with this kind of white, slicked back hair.
威胁丹尼斯的父亲过去常常留着这种白色的、光滑的后发。
He looked like every guy that was in my dad's Kiwanis with him.
他看起来就像我父亲的 Kiwanis 里的每个人一样。
And didn't seem to me like a guy who particularly would have that many friends or much influence over people.
在我看来，他不像一个有那么多朋友或对人有很大影响力的人。
But he had written the book.
但这本书是他写的。
So my father went onto make this speech basically, about how now that I was getting older-- I was 11 years old-- that it was time for me to kind of get social skills that he assumed I didn't have.
所以我父亲接着做了这个演讲，基本上是关于我现在已经长大了——我已经 11 岁了——是时候让我获得他认为我没有的社交技能了。
Now, in fact, in school, Paul had plenty of friends.
事实上，现在保罗在学校里有很多朋友。
He was kind of a class cut up.
他是一个阶级分裂的人。
And his way of winning friends was the same as other kids.
他赢得朋友的方式和其他孩子一样。
He talked about what they saw on TV and tried to be funny.
他谈论了他们在电视上看到的事情，并试图变得有趣。
It was just around the house that he was quiet and withdrawn.
就在房子周围，他安静而孤僻。
But he figured, he wanted to be more popular.
但他认为，他想要更受欢迎。
He wanted more friends.
他想要更多的朋友。
So he decided to try out some of the techniques in the book.
于是他决定尝试一下书中的一些技巧。
And I went through these and principle number one was become genuinely interested in other people.
我经历了这些，第一个原则就是对其他人产生真正的兴趣。
Principle number two was smile.
第二条原则是微笑。
Principle number three was remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
第三条原则是记住，一个人的名字对于他来说是任何语言中最甜美、最重要的声音。
Yeah, I was wondering about that one in particular.
是的，我特别想知道这一点。
If as an 11 year old you tried to employ that one.
如果你在 11 岁的时候尝试雇用那个人。
Well, the hard thing was when you're 11 years old, the only thing you ever call anybody is by their last name.
嗯，最困难的是当你 11 岁的时候，你唯一称呼任何人的就是他们的姓氏。
So I was kind of confused as to whether that sort of applied.
所以我有点困惑，不知道这种情况是否适用。
And this started a bit of a panic in me.
这让我开始有点恐慌。
Because I suddenly didn't know.
因为我突然不知道了。
Well, maybe people would like me better if I did that.
好吧，如果我这样做的话，也许人们会更喜欢我。
And so I remember getting to school the next day and my friend Dave Flurry, who I had always called Flurry, I remember going up to him and going, hey, David.
所以我记得第二天去学校的时候，我的朋友戴夫·弗洛里（我一直叫他弗洛里）我记得走到他面前，说，嘿，大卫。
How's it going?
怎么样了？
And he gave me the strangest look.
他用最奇怪的眼神看着我。
Paul used techniques from the book to try to talk to girls.
保罗使用书中的技巧来尝试与女孩交谈。
Asking them about themselves, what their dad's did for a living.
询问他们自己的情况，他们的父亲以什么为生。
Just showing an interest in them as the book suggests.
只是按照书上的建议表现出对它们的兴趣。
And it just sort of freaked them out.
这让他们有点害怕。
Kids do not talk like that.
小孩子不会那样说话。
And I would sit at lunch with my friends.
我会和朋友们一起吃午饭。
And they would be on a story and I would want to throw in, as I normally would, but kind of went, oh wait.
他们会写一个故事，我想像往常一样加入进来，但有点，哦等等。
No, I should sit back and listen and really be attentive.
不，我应该坐下来认真听。
And would nod and go, oh, oh.
然后会点头然后走，哦，哦。
Then what did your brother do?
然后你弟弟做了什么？
Oh, he punched you.
哦，他打了你。
Really?
真的吗？
And what happened then?
然后发生了什么？
And I became this sort of mini analyst where I was sort of trying to get kids to tell me their innermost secrets.
我成为了这种迷你分析师，我试图让孩子们告诉我他们内心深处的秘密。
But what happened was my father kept checking in with me at night.
但发生的事情是我父亲晚上一直来看我。
He'd go, so did you read that book?
他走了，那你读过那本书吗？
Have you tried any of these things out?
您尝试过这些事情吗？
So I felt like I needed more proof.
所以我觉得我需要更多证据。
Yes, I needed a tangible thing to show my father that I had become popular and was winning friends and influencing people.
是的，我需要一个有形的东西来向我的父亲表明我已经变得受欢迎并且正在赢得朋友并影响人们。
So when Paul's teacher decided to do an exercise where they elected a class president, he ran.
因此，当保罗的老师决定进行一项选举班长的练习时，他参加了竞选。
And he won.
他赢了。
And his father was very, very pleased.
他的父亲非常非常高兴。
The book was working.
这本书正在发挥作用。
There was just one problem.
只有一个问题。
One of the things I hadn't banked on was that as class president, I actually had to do something.
我没有指望的一件事是，作为班长，我实际上必须做点什么。
I was so not into this.
我对此不太感兴趣。
I was just hating it because I just wanted to get back to my life with my friends.
我只是讨厌它，因为我只想回到和朋友们在一起的生活。
Well, the teacher was dissatisfied, and the students were dissatisfied.
嗯，老师不满意，学生也不满意。
And the teacher suddenly decided, well, you know what?
老师突然决定，好吧，你知道吗？
And she got up and she said, there is a process in our political system in this country called impeachment.
她站起来说，我们国家的政治制度中有一个程序，称为弹劾。
And she looked out and she said, how does everyone feel about our class president Paul?
她向外望去，说，大家对我们班长保罗感觉如何？
What would he say to his father?
他会对他的父亲说什么？
The whole experience with Dale Carnegie actually left Paul with fewer friends and less influence over people.
与戴尔·卡内基的整个经历实际上让保罗的朋友越来越少，对人的影响力也越来越小。
It was confusing, all the ideas the book put into his head.
这本书把所有的想法都塞进了他的脑子里，这让他很困惑。
I couldn't get out of my head the fact that my dad had given this to me and the fact that he was so concerned that I didn't have friends.
我无法摆脱我父亲把这个给我的事实，以及他如此担心我没有朋友的事实。
And so I started getting nervous.
所以我开始变得紧张。
Like, well, maybe he's seeing something that I don't know.
就像，好吧，也许他看到了我不知道的东西。
It was strange.
很奇怪。
I would start to see things that weren't there, like somebody would sort of laugh at what I say and they'd turn away to look at something.
我会开始看到不存在的东西，就像有人会嘲笑我所说的话，然后他们会转过身去看某样东西。
And suddenly I was envisioning that as they're turning away with their back to me, they're making this sort of face and rolling their eyes of like, what an idiot.
突然我想象到，当他们转身背对着我时，他们会做出这样的表情并翻白眼，就像是一个白痴。
And started noticing in the teacher that when I would raise my hand and answer a question, something in her face that kind of was like she was tolerating me.
我开始注意到老师，当我举手回答问题时，她脸上的表情就好像她在容忍我。
You know what's so interesting about that is that the book made you act in a way which was completely phony and calculating.
你知道，最有趣的是，这本书让你以一种完全虚假和算计的方式行事。
And so then the thought entered your head, maybe everybody else is acting phony and calculating as well.
然后这个想法就进入你的脑海，也许其他人也都在表现虚伪和精于算计。
Yeah.
是的。
It was almost like I had been given this sort of handbook to the human mind that I didn't want.
就好像我得到了一本我不想要的人类思维手册。
Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
好吧，这是芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
今天我们的节目《如何赢得朋友并影响他人》。
Stories of people climbing to be number one.
人们攀登第一的故事。
How do they do it?
他们是如何做到的？
What is the fundamental difference between us and them?
我们和他们的根本区别是什么？
We answer that question today in four simple lessons that will change your life forever.
今天我们通过四个简单的课程来回答这个问题，这将永远改变你的生活。
Or possibly won't.
或者可能不会。
Lesson one, To Make a Friend, Be a Friend.
第一课，交朋友，成为朋友。
David Sedaris has an instructive tale of how as a boy, with the help of his dad, he tried to bridge the chasm that divides the popular kids from the unpopular.
大卫·塞达里斯（David Sedaris）有一个很有启发性的故事，讲述了他小时候如何在父亲的帮助下，试图弥合受欢迎的孩子与不受欢迎的孩子之间的鸿沟。
With pretty much exactly the sort of results that you might anticipate.
结果与您可能预期的结果几乎完全相同。
Lesson two, Stay in Touch.
第二课，保持联系。
Yes, my friend, you can learn so many things about being a better friend, a better spouse, a better business person if you would simply imitate recent US diplomatic and foreign policy.
是的，我的朋友，如果你模仿美国最近的外交和外交政策，你可以学到很多关于成为更好的朋友、更好的配偶、更好的商人的事情。
Details in that lesson.
详细内容在那节课上。
Lesson three, People like You if You Put a Lot of Time into your Appearance.
第三课，如果你花很多时间在外表上，人们就会喜欢你。
In that lesson, we hear the story of how a simple Superman custom changed one man's life for the better.
在那节课中，我们听到了一个简单的超人习俗如何使一个人的生活变得更好的故事。
Lesson four, Just be Yourself.
第四课，做你自己。
Jonathan Goldstein demonstrates how to be bested by the most popular, most handsome, most powerful man in the world and not feel bad about it.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦向我们展示了如何被世界上最受欢迎、最英俊、最有权势的男人击败，并且不为此感到难过。
Stay with us if you care about your future.
如果您关心自己的未来，请留在我们这里。
Lesson one, To Make a Friend, Be a Friend.
第一课，交朋友，成为朋友。
Well, writer David Sedaris tell this story about the popular crowd and how easy it is to enter.
作家 David Sedaris 讲述了这个关于受欢迎人群以及进入是多么容易的故事。
This was recorded before a live audience.
这是在现场观众面前录制的。
His story begins on Labor Day when David was a kid at the Raleigh Country Club in North Carolina.
他的故事始于劳动节，当时大卫还是个孩子，在北卡罗来纳州的罗利乡村俱乐部。
I was in the snack bar listening to a group of sixth graders who lived in another part of town and sat discussing significant changes in their upcoming school year.
我在小吃店里听一群住在镇上另一个地方的六年级学生坐在一起讨论即将到来的学年的重大变化。
According to the girl named Janet, neither Pam Dobbins nor JJ Jackson had been invited to the Fourth of July party hosted by the Pyle twins who later told Kimberly Matthews that both Pam and Mike were out of the picture as far as the seventh grade was concerned.
据那个名叫珍妮特的女孩说，帕姆·多宾斯和 J·J·杰克逊都没有被邀请参加派尔双胞胎举办的国庆节派对，派尔双胞胎后来告诉金伯利·马修斯，就七年级而言，帕姆和迈克都被排除在外。
Totally, completely out, Janet said.
完全、完全出局，珍妮特说。
Poof.
噗。
I didn't know any Pam Dobbins or JJ Jackson, but the reverential tone of Janet's voice sent me into a state of mild shock.
我不认识帕姆·多宾斯（Pam Dobbins）或 J·J·杰克逊（JJ Jackson），但珍妮特虔诚的语气让我感到轻微的震惊。
Call me naive, but it had simply never occurred to me that other schools might have their own celebrity circles.
你可以说我很天真，但我根本没想到其他学校也可能有自己的名人圈子。
At the age of 12, I thought the group at E.C.
12 岁时，我认为 E.C. 的团队
Brooks was, if not nationally known, then at least its own private phenomenon.
布鲁克斯即使不是全国知名，也至少是其个人现象。
Why else would our lives revolve around them?
否则为什么我们的生活要围绕着他们转呢？
I, myself, was not a member of my school's popular crowd.
我本人并不是我们学校受欢迎的人群中的一员。
But recall thinking that whoever they were, Janet's popular people couldn't begin to compete with ours.
但回想一下，无论他们是谁，珍妮特的受欢迎的人都无法与我们的竞争。
Then I worried that our popular crowd couldn't compare to those in Charlotte or Greensboro.
然后我担心我们的受欢迎人群无法与夏洛特或格林斯伯勒的人群相比。
Not to mention the thousands of schools located in other states.
更不用说其他州的数千所学校了。
What if I'd wasted my entire life comparing myself to people who didn't really matter?
如果我浪费了一生来与那些无关紧要的人进行比较怎么办？
Try as I might, I still can't wrap my mind around it.
尽管我尽了最大的努力，但我仍然无法集中注意力。
They banded together in the third grade.
他们在三年级时就团结在一起了。
Ann Carlsworth, Christie Kaymore, Deb Bevins, Mike Holliwell, Doug Middleton, Thad Pope.
安·卡尔斯沃斯、克里斯蒂·凯摩尔、黛布·贝文斯、迈克·霍利威尔、道格·米德尔顿、萨德·波普。
This was the core base of the popular crowd.
这是群众的核心基础。
And for the next six years, my classmates and I studied their lives the way we were supposed to study math and English.
在接下来的六年里，我和我的同学们以学习数学和英语的方式研究他们的生活。
So complete was their power that I actually felt honored when one of them hit me in the mouth with a rock.
他们的力量如此强大，以至于当他们中的一个用石头打我的嘴时，我实际上感到很荣幸。
He'd gotten me after school, and upon returning home I ran into my sister's bedroom, hugging my bloody Kleenex and crying, it was Thad!
放学后他来接我，一回到家我就跑进姐姐的卧室，抱着我该死的纸巾哭了起来，是泰德！
Lisa was a year older, but still she understood the significance.
丽莎大了一岁，但她仍然明白其中的意义。
Did he say anything, she asked.
他有说什么吗，她问道。
Did you save the rock?
你救了石头吗？
My father demanded that I retaliate, saying I ought to knock the guy on his ass.
我父亲要求我报复，说我应该打那家伙的屁股。
Oh, dad.
哦，爸爸。
Aww, baloney.
哇哦，胡说八道。
Clock him on the snot locker and he'll go down like a ton of bricks.
如果把他放在鼻涕柜上，他就会像一堆砖头一样倒下。
He was mistaking Thad for a bully, which was a different crowd altogether.
他把泰德误认为是一个恶霸，而那是一群完全不同的人。
Besides, who did my father think I was?
再说了，我父亲以为我是谁？
Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.
一般来说，周末制作香蕉坚果松饼的男孩并不擅长肉搏战。
I mean, come on, Dad, Lisa said.
我的意思是，来吧，爸爸，丽莎说。
Wake up.
醒来吧。
The following afternoon I was taken to Dr. Povlitch for x-rays.
第二天下午，我被带到 Povlitch 医生处进行 X 光检查。
The rock had damaged a tooth and there was some question over who would pay for the subsequent root canal.
岩石损坏了一颗牙齿，并且存在一些关于谁来支付随后的根管治疗费用的问题。
I figured that since they'd conceive me, given birth, and raised me as a permanent guest in their home, my parents should foot the bill.
我想，既然他们怀上了我，生下了我，并把我作为家里的常客抚养长大，我的父母就应该买单。
But my father thought differently.
但我父亲的想法不同。
He had decided the Popes should pay.
他决定教皇应该付出代价。
And I screamed as he picked up the phone book, but you can't just call Thad's house.
当他拿起电话簿时我尖叫起来，但你不能直接打电话到泰德家里。
Why the hell not.
为什么不呢。
he said.
他说。
Don't they have a telephone?
他们没有电话吗？
Well, of course, the Popes had a telephone.
嗯，当然，教皇有电话。
Probably three or four with a separate line for the children.
大概有三四个人，为孩子们单独排队。
I imagined Thad's as a state of the art desk model with blinking red lights, alerting him that Doug or Christie was waiting on line one.
我把萨德想象成一个最先进的办公桌模型，红灯闪烁，提醒他道格或克里斯蒂正在一线等候。
Equipment was not the issue.
设备不是问题。
My father's voice simply did not belong on the Pope's telephone.
我父亲的声音根本不属于教皇的电话。
It wouldn't fit with their things.
这与他们的东西不相符。
A meeting was arranged for the following evening.
会议安排在第二天晚上。
And before leaving the house, I begged my father to change his clothes.
离开家之前，我恳求父亲换衣服。
He'd been building an addition to the carport and wore a pair of khaki shorts, smeared with paint and spotted here and there with bits of dried concrete.
他当时正在扩建车库，穿着一条卡其色短裤，上面沾满了油漆，到处都是干混凝土的碎片。
Through a hole in his tattered t-shirt, without squinting, it was possible to see his nipple.
透过破烂T恤上的破洞，不用眯眼，就能看到他的乳头。
What the hell is wrong with this, he asked.
这到底是怎么回事，他问道。
We're not staying for dinner, so what does it matter?
我们不留下来吃晚饭了，那又有什么关系呢？
I yelled for my mother, and in the end he compromised by changing his shirt.
我大喊妈妈，最后他妥协了，换了件衬衫。
From the outside, Thad's house didn't look much different than anyone else's.
从外面看，泰德的房子和其他人的房子没有太大不同。
Just a standard split level with what my father described as a totally inadequate carport.
只是一个标准的错层，我父亲称之为完全不够的车库。
Mr. pope answered the door in a pair of sherbert-colored golf pants and led us downstairs into what he called the rumpus room.
波普先生穿着一条果子露色的高尔夫球裤来开门，然后带我们下楼进入他所谓的娱乐室。
Oh, I said.
哦，我说。
This is nice.
这很好。
The room was damp and windowless and lit with hanging Tiffany lamp shades.
房间潮湿，没有窗户，悬挂着蒂芙尼灯罩。
The shards of colorful glass arranged to spell the words Busch and Budweiser.
彩色玻璃碎片拼出“Busch”和“Budweiser”两个字。
Walls were paneled and the furniture looked as though it had been hand-hewn by settlers who had reconfigured parts of their beloved Conestoga wagon to fashion such things as easy chairs and coffee tables.
墙壁镶有镶板，家具看起来像是由定居者手工凿成的，他们重新配置了他们心爱的康尼斯托加马车的一部分，以制作安乐椅和咖啡桌等物品。
He directed us towards a sofa and asked if we wanted anything to drink.
他把我们引向沙发，问我们要不要喝点什么。
Coke?
可乐？
A beer?
一杯啤酒？
I didn't want to deplete Thad's precious cola supply, but before I could refuse my father said, sure.
我不想耗尽泰德宝贵的可乐供应，但在我拒绝之前，父亲说，当然。
We'd have one of each.
我们各要一份。
The orders were called up the stairway and a few minutes later Mrs. pope entered the room, carrying cans and plastic tumblers.
命令被叫到了楼梯上，几分钟后，波普夫人拿着罐头和塑料杯走进了房间。
And as she set the drinks before us, I noticed that her son had inherited her blunt, slightly upturned nose.
当她把饮料摆在我们面前时，我注意到她的儿子继承了她那钝而微翘的鼻子。
Which looked good on him, but caused her to appear overly suspicious and judgmental.
这对他来说看起来很好，但让她显得过于多疑和挑剔。
So, she said, I hear you've been to the dentist.
所以，她说，我听说你看过牙医。
She was just trying to make small talk, but due to or nose it came off sounding like an insult.
她只是想闲聊，但由于鼻子的缘故，听起来像是一种侮辱。
As if I'd just had a tooth filled and was now looking for someone to pay the bill.
就好像我刚刚补了一颗牙，现在正在找人付账。
I'll say he's been to the dentist, my father said.
我想说他已经去看牙医了，我父亲说。
Someone hits you in the mouth with a rock, and I'd say the dentist's office is pretty much the first place a reasonable person would go.
有人用石头打你的嘴，我想说牙医办公室几乎是一个理智的人第一个去的地方。
Mr. Pope held up his hands.
波普先生举起双手。
Whoa now, he said.
哇哦，他说。
Let's just calm things down a little.
让我们冷静一下吧。
He yelled upstairs for his son.
他在楼上大喊儿子。
And when there was no answer he picked up the phone, telling Thad to stop running his mouth and get his butt down to the rumpus room ASAP.
当无人接听时，他拿起电话，告诉泰德别再胡言乱语，尽快去娱乐室了。
A rush of footsteps on the carpeted staircase and then Thad sprinted in, all smiles and apologies.
铺着地毯的楼梯上传来一阵急促的脚步声，然后泰德冲了进来，脸上满是微笑和歉意。
The minister had called.
部长打来电话了。
The game had been rescheduled.
比赛已重新安排。
Hello, sir.
你好先生。
And you are?
而你呢？
He looked my father in the eye and firmly shook his hand, holding it in his own for just the right amount of time.
他看着我父亲的眼睛，坚定地握着他的手，握在手中的时间恰到好处。
With others our age, the gesture appeared forced and sloppy, but Thad seemed born to it.
对于我们这个年纪的人来说，这个动作显得强迫和草率，但泰德似乎天生就是这样的。
While most handshakes mumbled, his clearly spoke.
虽然大多数握手都是含糊不清的，但他的握手却清晰可辨。
Saying both, we'll get through this and I'm looking forward to your vote this coming November.
总而言之，我们会解决这个问题，我期待着您在即将到来的 11 月投票。
I'd thought that seeing him without his group might be unsettling, like finding a single arm on the sidewalk.
我原以为看到他离开他的团队可能会令人不安，就像在人行道上发现一只手臂一样。
But Thad was fully capable of operating independently.
但萨德完全有能力独立运作。
Watching him in action I understood that his popularity was not an accident.
看着他的表演，我明白他的受欢迎并不是偶然的。
Unlike a normal human, he possessed an uncanny and wholly natural ability to please people.
与正常人不同，他拥有一种不可思议的、完全自然的取悦他人的能力。
Much like a Whitman's Sampler, he seemed to offer a little bit of everything.
就像惠特曼的采样器一样，他似乎提供了一切的一点点。
Pass on his athletic ability and you might partake of his excellent manners, his confidence, his coltish enthusiasm.
传承他的运动能力，你可能会分享他出色的举止、他的自信、他的傲慢热情。
Even his parents seemed invigorated by his presence.
就连他的父母似乎也因他的出现而感到振奋。
All right, then, Mr. Pope said.
好吧，波普先生说。
Now that everyone's accounted for, I'm hoping we can clear this up.
现在每个人都已经被查清了，我希望我们能解决这个问题。
Sticks and stones aside, I suspect this all comes down to a little misunderstanding between friends.
撇开棍棒和石头不谈，我怀疑这一切都归结于朋友之间的一点误会。
I lowered my eyes, waiting for Thad to set his father straight.
我低下眼睛，等待泰德纠正他的父亲。
Friends, with him?
朋友们，和他一起吗？
I expected laughter or the famous Thad snort.
我期待着笑声或者著名的泰德鼻息声。
But instead he said nothing.
但他什么也没说。
And with his silence, he won me completely.
他用他的沉默彻底赢得了我。
A little misunderstanding.
有点误会。
That's exactly what it was.
事实就是如此。
The immediate goal was to save my friend.
当前的目标是拯救我的朋友。
And so I claimed to have essentially thrown myself in the path of Thad's fast-moving rock.
所以我声称自己实际上已经陷入了萨德快速移动的岩石的路径中。
What the hell was he throwing rocks for, my father asked.
我父亲问道，他到底为什么扔石头？
What the hell was he throwing them at?
他到底把它们扔向什么？
Mrs. Pope frowned, implying that such language was not welcome in the rumpus room.
波普夫人皱起眉头，暗示娱乐室里不欢迎这种语言。
I mean, Jesus Christ, the guy's got to be a complete idiot.
我的意思是，天哪，这家伙一定是个十足的白痴。
Thad swore he hadn't been aiming at anything and I backed him up, saying it was just one of those things we all did.
泰德发誓他没有任何目的，我也支持他，说这只是我们都做过的事情之一。
Like in Vietnam, or whatever.
就像在越南，或者其他什么地方。
It was just friendly fire.
这只是误伤。
My father asked what the hell I knew about Vietnam.
我父亲问我对越南到底了解多少。
And again, Thad's mother winced, saying that boys picked up a lot of this talk by watching the news.
泰德的母亲再次皱起眉头，说男孩子们通过看新闻了解到了很多这样的谈话。
Oh, you don't know what you're talking about, my father said.
哦，你不知道自己在说什么，我父亲说。
Ah, baloney.
啊，胡说八道。
The trio of Popes exchanged meaningful glances, holding what amounted to a brief telepathic powwow.
教皇三人交换了意味深长的眼神，举行了一次短暂的心灵感应仪式。
I looked at my father then, a man in dirty shorts who drank his beer from the can rather than pouring it into his tumbler.
我看着父亲，他穿着肮脏的短裤，从罐子里喝啤酒，而不是倒进玻璃杯里。
And I thought, you don't belong here.
我想，你不属于这里。
More precisely I decided that he was the reason I didn't belong.
更准确地说，我认为他是我不属于这里的原因。
How was a person expected to fit in when he'd been steadily poisoned by his parents?
当一个人不断受到父母的毒害时，他该如何融入社会呢？
Fed little doses until he was ultimately so contaminated that no one would have anything to do with him.
喂食的剂量很少，直到他最终被污染得没人愿意与他有任何关系。
The hokey Greek phrases, the how-to lectures on mixing your own concrete.
做作的希腊短语，关于如何混合自己的混凝土的讲座。
The squabble over who would pay the stupid dentist bill.
关于谁来支付愚蠢的牙医账单的争论。
Little by little, it had all seeped into my bloodstream, robbing me of my natural ability to please others.
渐渐地，这一切都渗入了我的血液，剥夺了我取悦他人的自然能力。
Well, Mr. pope said, I can see that this is going nowhere.
波普先生说，我可以看出这不会有任何进展。
My father laughed saying, yeah, you got that right.
父亲笑着说，是啊，你说得对。
It sounded like a parting sentence, but rather then standing to leave, he leaned back on the sofa and rested his beer can upon his stomach.
这听起来像是临别赠言，但他并没有起身离开，而是靠在沙发上，将啤酒罐搁在肚子上。
We're all going nowhere.
我们都无处可去。
At this point, I was pretty sure that Thad and I were envisioning the same grim scenario.
此时，我非常确定泰德和我正在设想同样严峻的场景。
While the rest of the world would move on, in a year's time my filthy, bearded father would still be occupying the rumpus room sofa.
虽然世界其他地方都会继续前进，但一年后，我肮脏、留着胡须的父亲仍会占据娱乐室的沙发。
Christmas would come, friends would visit, and the Popes would bitterly direct them towards one of the easy chairs.
圣诞节即将到来，朋友们会来拜访，教皇会痛苦地引导他们走向一张安乐椅。
Just ignore him, they'd say.
他们会说，别理他就行了。
He'll go home sooner or later.
他迟早会回家的。
In the end, they agreed to pay for half the root canal.
最后，他们同意支付一半的根管治疗费。
Not because they thought it was fair, but because they wanted us out of their house.
不是因为他们认为这公平，而是因为他们希望我们离开他们的房子。
Some friendships are formed by a commonality of interests and ideas.
有些友谊是由共同的兴趣和想法形成的。
You both love judo or camping or making your own sausage.
你们都喜欢柔道、露营或自己制作香肠。
Other friendships are forged by a mutual hatred of a common enemy.
其他友谊是由于对共同敌人的相互仇恨而建立的。
On leaving Thad's house, I decided that ours would probably be the latter.
离开泰德的家时，我决定我们的家可能是后者。
We'd start off grousing about my father, maybe going so far as to scratch up his car.
我们会开始抱怨我父亲，甚至可能把他的车刮坏了。
And then, little by little, we'd move on to the hundreds of other things and people that got on our nerves.
然后，我们会一点一点地转向其他数百件让我们心烦意乱的事情和人。
You hate olives, I imagined him saying.
你讨厌橄榄，我想象他说。
I hate them too.
我也讨厌他们。
As it turned out, the one thing we both hated was me.
事实证明，我们都讨厌的一件事就是我。
Rather, I hated me.
相反，我讨厌我。
Thad couldn't even work up the enthusiasm.
泰德甚至提不起热情。
The day after the meeting I approached him in the lunchroom where he sat as his regular table surrounded by his regular friends.
会议结束后的第二天，我在午餐室找到了他，他坐在他的固定桌子上，周围都是他的老朋友。
Listen, I said.
听着，我说。
I am really sorry about that stuff with my dad.
我对我父亲的事情感到非常抱歉。
I'd worked up a whole long speech, complete with imitations.
我已经写了一篇很长的演讲，其中充满了模仿。
But by the time I hit my second sentence he turned to resume his conversation with Doug Middleton.
但当我说出第二句话时，他转身继续与道格·米德尔顿的谈话。
I've heard your testimony, my father's behavior, even the rock throwing.
我听过你的证词，我父亲的行为，甚至扔石头的事。
I was so far beneath him that it hadn't even registered.
我比他低得多，甚至都没有注意到。
Poof.
噗。
The socialites of E.C.
E.C. 的社交名流
Brooks shown even brighter in junior high.
布鲁克斯在初中时表现得更加聪明。
But come 10th grade, things began to change.
但到了十年级，事情开始发生变化。
Desegregation drove a lot of the popular people into private schools.
废除种族隔离迫使许多受欢迎的人进入私立学校。
And those who remained seemed silly and archaic, deposed royalty from a country the average citizen had ceased to care about.
那些留下来的人看起来又愚蠢又过时，他们是来自一个普通公民不再关心的国家的被废黜的皇室成员。
Early in our junior year, Thad was jumped by a group of the new black kids who yanked off his shoes and threw them in the toilet.
在我们大三的时候，泰德被一群新来的黑人孩子吓了一跳，他们把他的鞋子扯下来扔进了厕所。
I knew I was supposed to be happy, but part of me felt personally assaulted.
我知道我应该感到高兴，但我的一部分感到受到了人身攻击。
Yes, he'd been a negligent prince, yet I still believed in the monarchy.
是的，他是一个疏忽大意的王子，但我仍然相信君主制。
When his name was called at graduation, it was me who clapped the longest.
毕业典礼被叫到他的名字时，我鼓掌最长。
Outlasting even his parents who politely stopped once he'd left the stage.
就连他的父母也比他走得更久，他们在他离开舞台后礼貌地停下来。
I thought about that a lot over the coming years.
在接下来的几年里我对此进行了很多思考。
He's the poet laureate of Liechtenstein, the surgeon who cures cancer with love.
他是列支敦士登的桂冠诗人，是用爱治愈癌症的外科医生。
The ninth grade teacher who insists that the world is big enough for everyone.
九年级老师坚持认为世界对于每个人来说都足够大。
When moving to another city I'm always hoping to find him living in the apartment next door.
当搬到另一个城市时，我总是希望找到他住在隔壁的公寓。
We'll meet in the hallway and he'll stick out his hand saying, excuse me, but don't I-- shouldn't I know you?
我们会在走廊见面，他会伸出手说，对不起，但是我不应该认识你吗？
It doesn't have to happen today, but it does have to happen.
它不必在今天发生，但它确实必须发生。
I've kept a space waiting for him.
我已经预留了位置等他。
And if he doesn't show up I'll have to forgive my father.
如果他不出现我就必须原谅我的父亲。
David Sedaris, recorded at the Detroit Institute of Art by WDET.
David Sedaris，由 WDET 在底特律艺术学院录制。
His new book is called When You Are Engulfed in Flames.
他的新书名为《当你陷入火焰时》。
Coming up, it's OK if you're not Superman.
来吧，如果你不是超人也没关系。
Unless, of course, your girlfriend used to date Superman.
当然，除非你的女朋友曾经和超人约会过。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life , I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program of course, we chose some theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们每周的节目都会选择一些主题，为您带来关于该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's show, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
今天的节目《如何赢得朋友并影响别人》。
We have four lessons on the subject.
我们有关于这个主题的四节课。
We have arrived at lesson two, Stay in Touch.
我们已经到了第二课，保持联系。
Since September 11, the United States of America has faced some special challenges in trying to win friends and influence people among the world's nations.
自9月11日以来，美利坚合众国在试图在世界各国中赢得朋友和影响人民方面面临着一些特殊的挑战。
There was the whole attempt to rally countries at the United Nations against Saddam Hussein.
整个联合国都试图团结各国反对萨达姆·侯赛因。
And then after that, to convince other nations to join us in a war against Iraq.
然后，说服其他国家加入我们对伊拉克的战争。
But it was delicate even before all that.
但即使在这一切之前，它也很脆弱。
From the very beginning of the war on terror, when US diplomats had to start working the phones to assemble a coalition of nations to begin to combat this new threat.
从反恐战争一开始，美国外交官就必须开始通过电话组建国家联盟来应对这一新威胁。
Some of the calls you get the feeling, were not the easiest kinds of phone calls to make.
您感觉有些电话并不是最容易拨打的电话。
Countries that were mad at us for one reason or another.
出于某种原因对我们生气的国家。
Countries that we'd acted all interested in for a while in the past and then just kind of stopped calling.
过去一段时间里，我们曾对一些国家表现出兴趣，但后来就不再打电话了。
Back in late 2001, you may remember you kept seeing Secretary of State Colin Powell in the paper saying things like our sudden new interest in Pakistan wasn't quote, "Just a temporary spike in American interest." That we had quote, "An enduring commitment." And that Pakistan was quote, "A great Muslim nation."
早在 2001 年底，你可能还记得，你经常在报纸上看到国务卿科林·鲍威尔说我们对巴基斯坦突然产生的新兴趣，而不是“只是美国兴趣的暂时飙升”。我们引用了“持久的承诺”。巴基斯坦被引用为“一个伟大的穆斯林国家”。
What where those first phone calls like?
第一个电话是什么样的？
Well, all the way back in 2001, one of our contributors, Tami Sagher, tried to imagine exactly that.
早在 2001 年，我们的贡献者之一 Tami Sagher 就试图准确地想象这一点。
Hi.
你好。
Pakistan?
巴基斯坦？
Hi, it's America.
嗨，这里是美国。
How are you?
你好吗？
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
I almost didn't recognize your voice.
我差点没认出你的声音。
It's been so long.
已经过去这么久了。
Listen, I was just getting together this little coalition and I was like, who have I have not seen?
听着，我刚刚组建了这个小联盟，我就想，我还没见过谁？
Pakistan.
巴基斯坦。
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
Well, how are you?
嗯，你好吗？
How's Kashmir?
克什米尔怎么样？
That's yours, right?
那是你的，对吧？
Oh, you're kidding me.
噢，你在开玩笑吧。
Now when I think of Kashmir, I think it's yours.
现在，当我想到克什米尔时，我认为它是你的。
Just straight out, Pakistani Kashmir.
直接说吧，巴基斯坦克什米尔。
Oh, God.
哦，上帝。
Well, we will see you at the coalition then.
好吧，到时候我们联盟见。
Oh, God.
哦，上帝。
I can't believe I forgot this.
我不敢相信我忘记了这一点。
Also wondering maybe if you could bring along some full exchange of intelligence and use of ports.
我还想知道你是否可以带来一些全面的情报交换和端口的使用。
No big deal if you forget.
如果你忘记了也没什么大不了的。
But if you do, that would be great.
但如果你这样做，那就太好了。
All right, see you soon.
好的，很快再见。
India, it's America.
印度，这是美国。
Yes.
是的。
You remember.
你记得。
Hi.
你好。
No, I have been thinking about calling you, like every night I was like, got to call India.
不，我一直在考虑给你打电话，就像每天晚上我都想给印度打电话一样。
But you know the time difference.
但你知道时差。
You're kidding.
你开玩笑吧。
No, come on.
不，来吧。
That's yours, isn't it?
那是你的，不是吗？
So how are you?
你好吗？
Listen, getting together a little coalish.
听着，聚在一起有点煤气。
Wondering if you'd be up to join.
想知道你是否愿意加入。
Paka-who?
帕卡-谁？
Pakistan.
巴基斯坦。
No, I didn't even think of calling them.
不，我什至没想过给他们打电话。
Well, I don't know.
嗯，我不知道。
I don't care.
我不在乎。
This is about you, India.
这是关于你的，印度。
Yes, it is.
是的。
OK.
好的。
OK, well see you real soon.
好的，我们很快再见。
Love you.
爱你。
Is that weird to say?
这么说很奇怪吗？
It doesn't feel weird.
感觉并不奇怪。
OK, bye.
好的，再见。
Hi, it's America.
嗨，这里是美国。
The United States of America.
美利坚合众国。
Hi.
你好。
Yeah, God, it feels so weird to talk to you again.
是的，上帝，再次和你说话感觉很奇怪。
I know we haven't talked.
我知道我们还没聊过
God, since the hostage crisis.
天啊，自从人质危机之后。
Well, you know it was one of those things where it was just easier to just stay away and just sort of repair myself a little bit.
嗯，你知道，这是一种更容易离开并修复自己的事情。
And I just figured you were in the same place.
我只是觉得你们在同一个地方。
If you need anything, any money, or anything, you just call and maybe I'll see you.
如果你需要任何东西，任何钱，或者任何东西，你只要打电话，也许我会见到你。
Maybe I'll fly overhead in your air space.
也许我会飞到你的领空。
Don't freak out if I do.
如果我这样做了，请不要惊慌。
All right.
好的。
Talk to you soon.
很快就和你谈谈。
Bye.
再见。
Hello, China?
你好，中国？
Hi, it's America.
嗨，这里是美国。
Hi.
你好。
I am-- this is hard.
我——这很难。
I wanted to apologize.
我想道歉。
About the plane, yes.
关于飞机，是的。
I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉。
Yeah, and about the embassy, it blew up.
是的，关于大使馆，它爆炸了。
And about that fishing boat.
还有那艘渔船。
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
You're right, it was Japan.
你没看错，就是日本。
I'm so-- ah.
我真是——啊。
No, you do not look alike.
不，你们看起来并不相似。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
No, that is me being a big fat jerk.
不，那是我，一个大胖子。
I am so sorry.
我很抱歉。
Well now I feel like twice a jerk.
好吧，现在我感觉自己像个混蛋。
Listen, I am getting together a coalition and wondering if you'd be up for it.
听着，我正在组建一个联盟，想知道你是否愿意加入。
Oh, good.
哦，很好。
I know you share a border with Afghanistan, so I don't want that to be weird because I'm not inviting them.
我知道你们与阿富汗接壤，所以我不希望这变得奇怪，因为我没有邀请他们。
But if you could come that would be great.
但如果你能来那就太好了。
OK, really look forward to seeing you.
好的，真的很期待见到你。
You know what?
你知道吗？
I bet in an hour I'm going to want to call you again.
我打赌一个小时后我会想再次给你打电话。
That's a terrible joke.
这是一个可怕的笑话。
I know I make it every time.
我知道我每次都能成功。
OK, I'll talk to you soon.
好的，我很快就会和你谈谈。
Bye.
再见。
Tami Sagher, formerly of Chicago's Second City.
塔米·萨格尔（Tami Sagher），前芝加哥第二城人。
She's now a writer on the TV show 30 Rock.
她现在是电视节目《30 Rock》的编剧。
[MUSIC- "THIS IS THE WORLD CALLING" BY BOB GELDOF]
[音乐-鲍勃·格尔多夫的《这就是世界的召唤》]
Lesson three, People Like You if You Put a lot of Time into your Appearance.
第三课，如果你花很多时间在外表上，人们就会喜欢你。
To prove this simple point-- a familiar one to readers of any women's magazines-- we have this true story of moral instruction told by Luke Burbank in Seattle.
为了证明这个简单的观点——任何女性杂志的读者都熟悉这一点——我们有卢克·伯班克在西雅图讲述的道德教育的真实故事。
I was in the Las Vegas Airport when I noticed this guy dressed like Superman.
当我在拉斯维加斯机场时，我注意到这个人穿得像超人。
I'm talking red boots, blue Spandex leggings, a yellow belt, a big S on his chest.
我说的是红色靴子，蓝色氨纶紧身裤，黄色腰带，胸前有一个大S。
And of course, a long, red cape.
当然，还有一件红色的长斗篷。
I was struck by how authentic the outfit was, and the fact that he didn't have any baggage.
我对他的服装如此真实以及他没有任何行李这一事实感到震惊。
No suitcase, no backpack, no wallet, no keys.
没有手提箱，没有背包，没有钱包，没有钥匙。
He looked calm and happy and sort of out of place.
他看起来平静而快乐，但有点格格不入。
Since I was in Las Vegas, I figured he was some performer from one of the casinos who was running late and didn't have time to change or something.
因为我在拉斯维加斯，所以我认为他是某个赌场的表演者，他迟到了，没有时间换衣服什么的。
I didn't think too much more about him until I was getting on the plane.
上飞机之前我并没有多想他。
I noticed that there was much more excitement in the air than I'm used to on a flight home from Las Vegas.
我注意到空气中的兴奋气氛比我在从拉斯维加斯回家的航班上所习惯的要兴奋得多。
They were talking about this guy dressed as Superman.
他们正在谈论这个打扮成超人的家伙。
Turns out he was sitting right behind me.
原来他就坐在我后面。
At one point, the co-pilot got on the intercom and announced that Superman's hotel had called.
有一次，副驾驶打开对讲机，宣布超人的酒店打来电话。
And that he'd left his Pokemon pajamas in his room and that they wanted to know where to send them.
而且他把口袋妖怪睡衣留在了房间里，他们想知道要把它们送到哪里。
Everyone cracked up, including me.
大家都笑了，包括我。
But Superman didn't say anything, he just sat there with a slight smile on his face.
但超人并没有说什么，只是坐在那儿，脸上带着浅浅的微笑。
During the flight, a steady stream of guys on their way to the bathroom would ask, hey, Superman, what do you need the plane for?
在飞行过程中，源源不断的人在去洗手间的路上会问，嘿，超人，你需要飞机做什么？
Women tended to ask why he had the costume on.
女人们往往会问他为什么穿着这套服装。
Generally, he kept his answers short and polite.
一般来说，他的回答简短而礼貌。
He didn't parade around the plane or call extra attention to himself.
他没有在飞机上走来走去，也没有引起额外的注意。
And I remember thinking that he seemed pretty normal for a guy in a Superman costume.
我记得我当时想，对于一个穿着超人服装的人来说，他看起来很正常。
My friends and I came up with a theory that he'd lost a bet, so when the plane stopped over in San Jose, I decided to talk to him.
我和我的朋友们推测他输了赌注，所以当飞机在圣何塞停留时，我决定和他谈谈。
His real name is Mark Wyzenbeek.
他的真名是马克·维森贝克。
I met with him a week later at his condo in Auburn, Washington, a suburb about 20 minutes south of Seattle.
一周后，我在他位于华盛顿州奥本的公寓见到了他，奥本是西雅图以南约 20 分钟车程的郊区。
He wasn't wearing the costume when I showed up, and I asked him how often he actually did.
当我出现时，他并没有穿这套服装，我问他实际上穿了多少次。
Every weekend I get a chance to put it on, I'll put it on.
每个周末我一有机会穿上它，我就会穿上它。
Every day that I don't have too much scheduled, I'll pop it on.
每天我没有太多的安排，我就会把它放在上面。
A lot of times I can't wait to pop it on because you know as soon as someone sees you, their day is different.
很多时候我迫不及待地想戴上它，因为你知道一旦有人看到你，他们的一天就会不一样。
They've got a story to tell.
他们有一个故事要讲。
And it's something that they're always going to remember.
这是他们永远都会记住的事情。
And I'll guarantee you the pilot on that flight that we were on is still talking about this.
我向你保证，我们乘坐的那架航班上的飞行员仍在谈论此事。
That he had Superman on his plane.
他的飞机上有超人。
Yeah, by the way, that didn't get on your nerves when they said that thing about your Pokemon pajamas?
是的，顺便说一句，当他们说你的口袋妖怪睡衣时，你并没有感到不安吗？
No. You get used to it.
不，你已经习惯了。
And I don't see it as a cut, but more a compliment that they even mentioned to the whole plane that Superman was on their flight.
我不认为这是一种删减，而是一种赞美，他们甚至向整架飞机提到超人在他们的航班上。
His two bedroom apartment is filled, and I mean filled, with Superman memorabilia.
他的两居室公寓里装满了，我的意思是装满了超人纪念品。
Superman dishes, Superman sheets on the bed, a Superman mouse pad, golf tees, paper clips, you name it.
超人餐具、床上的超人床单、超人鼠标垫、高尔夫球座、回形针，应有尽有。
In the living room, just to the right of the TV hang five Superman costume side by side.
在客厅里，电视机的右侧并排悬挂着五套超人服装。
Then there are the Batman masks, probably eight of them, sitting on dummy heads.
然后是蝙蝠侠面具，大概有八个，戴在假人头上。
It feels like a locker room for superheroes.
感觉就像超级英雄的更衣室。
He started dressing as Superman two years ago after his wife died in a car accident.
两年前，他的妻子在一场车祸中去世后，他开始打扮成超人。
I had never had anyone real close to me pass away before.
我以前从未有过与我真正亲近的人去世。
Your grandparents, they've lived a full life and you're expecting that.
你的祖父母，他们过着充实的生活，你也在期待着这一点。
But someone so young and beautiful and with their whole life ahead of them, it just really hit me that she doesn't have any more tomorrows.
但对于一个如此年轻、美丽的人来说，她的一生都在前方，我真的很震惊，她已经没有明天了。
And I thought, well, I better start getting as much out of today-- each today-- as I can.
我想，好吧，我最好开始尽可能多地利用今天——每一天——尽我所能。
And what would help me do that?
什么可以帮助我做到这一点？
And I enjoy wearing the costumes.
我喜欢穿着这些服装。
And I just couldn't wait to go out somewhere and have a bunch of people see it.
我迫不及待地想出去某个地方让一群人看到它。
And it's just been a real kick ever since.
从那以后，这真是一次真正的刺激。
Do you remember the first time you wore it out in public?
你还记得第一次在公共场合穿着它是什么时候吗？
What was that like?
那是什么样子的？
When I completed my first costume, I had to go down, put some gas in the car.
当我完成第一套服装时，我必须下楼给车加点油。
And I climbed out of the car, and I'm putting the fuel in.
我下了车，正在加油。
And the cars pulling up to the signal were going nuts.
接到信号灯停下来的汽车都疯了。
And I knew right then that I'm onto something.
那时我就知道我正在做某事。
This is going to be a lot of fun.
这将会很有趣。
And the neat thing is, is when they honk at you, they're all looking and you hear this talk in the car.
最妙的是，当他们向你按喇叭时，他们都在看着你，你就能在车里听到这些谈话。
Oh, look.
哦，看。
There's Superman.
有超人。
There's Superman.
有超人。
And the neat thing is, is they won't stop honking until you look at them.
最妙的是，除非你看到它们，否则它们不会停止鸣叫。
They have to have that eye contact with you knowing that they're looking at you and that you see them looking at you.
他们必须与您进行眼神交流，知道他们正在看着您，并且您也看到他们在看着您。
And then the whole cycle's complete, and then everyone's having a good time.
然后整个周期就完成了，然后每个人都玩得很开心。
Mark had always been a collector of Superman stuff.
马克一直是超人物品的收藏家。
But after his wife died he decided to go for broke and spend most of his money on an original costume from the TV show Superboy.
但在妻子去世后，他决定倾家荡产，把大部分钱花在了电视节目《超级男孩》的原创服装上。
He's only tried that costume on once, and it's too special to wear outside.
这套服装他只试穿过一次，穿在外面太特别了。
Instead, he taught himself how to sew and started making his own Superman outfits.
相反，他自学了如何缝纫并开始制作自己的超人服装。
Which frankly, I thought were better looking than the one he bought.
坦白说，我觉得比他买的更好看。
Mark also owns a Batman costume that George Clooney actually wore in the Batman movie.
马克还拥有乔治·克鲁尼在蝙蝠侠电影中实际穿着的蝙蝠侠服装。
He wears Superman in the summer and Batman in the winter.
他夏天穿超人，冬天穿蝙蝠侠。
The Batman outfit is made of foam rubber and is warmer, which he needs because he doesn't like to cover the costume with a coat when he goes outside.
蝙蝠侠的服装由泡沫橡胶制成，更温暖，这是他需要的，因为他不喜欢外出时用外套盖住服装。
Here's the Superboy costume as seen on TV by millions, worn by Gerard Christopher.
这是数百万人在电视上看到的超级男孩服装，由杰拉德·克里斯托弗 (Gerard Christopher) 穿着。
He took over the show in the second year through the fourth year.
他从第二年到第四年接手了这个节目。
They had a different actor do it the very first year.
第一年他们就请了不同的演员来演。
But as you can see, the seam along most of the yellow here is hidden except for these three areas.
但正如您所看到的，除了这三个区域之外，大部分黄色区域的接缝都是隐藏的。
And like a--
就像一个——
Mark's attention to detail when it comes to his outfits is incredible.
马克对服装细节的关注令人难以置信。
He says that authenticity is the key to being taken seriously.
他说，真实性是被认真对待的关键。
If it wasn't 100%, then I would be letting down the costume.
如果不是 100%，那我就辜负了这身服装。
I'd be letting down the people looking at it.
我会让看它的人失望。
You can get your little $40 Halloween costume ones that are great for the office party.
您可以购买 40 美元的小万圣节服装，非常适合办公室聚会。
And that's fine.
那很好。
But to go out in public, unless you look like you're right off of the movie screen, then I don't suggest that you do it.
但要在公共场合外出，除非你看起来就像是从电影屏幕上走出来的，否则我不建议你这样做。
Because you'll be a joke then.
因为到时候你就会成为一个笑话。
Have you replaced your wife, or the void that your wife's passing left?
你是否取代了你的妻子，或者你妻子去世留下的空白？
Have you replaced that a little bit with your pursuit of this Superman and Batman stuff?
你是否用对超人和蝙蝠侠的追求来取代它？
It definitely takes your mind off of it.
它绝对会让你忘记它。
Any kind of a diversion or activity instead of thinking about things that you've lost is always a plus.
任何形式的消遣或活动而不是思考你失去的东西总是有好处的。
The costumes, to be able to wear those in public, I don't know exactly how she would have taken it.
这些服装，能够在公共场合穿着，我不知道她会如何接受。
I miss her a lot.
我很想念她。
I think of her every day.
我每天都想着她。
But the way I think of her now is that I just have a feeling that she's out there and that she's helping with this.
但我现在对她的看法是，我只是有一种感觉，她就在那里，她正在帮助解决这个问题。
Two or three times a week Mark goes to bars in costume.
马克每周都会穿着戏服去酒吧两到三次。
I asked if I could go with him to see for myself.
我问我是否可以和他一起去亲自看看。
He suits up and we climb into his car, a white 1992 Pontiac Grand Prix with customized Superman plates.
他穿上西装，我们坐进他的车，那是一辆白色的 1992 年庞蒂亚克大奖赛，上面贴着定制的超人车牌。
We'll just hop in the Superman mobile here, as you can see, by my license plate.
正如你所看到的，我们将通过我的车牌跳上超人移动车。
Floor mats.
地垫。
I got the neat little hanging, flying thing here.
我在这里得到了一个整洁的小悬挂、飞行的东西。
A nice little custom logo on my steering wheel.
我的方向盘上有一个漂亮的小定制标志。
Now I noticed you put down a t-shirt.
现在我注意到你放下了一件T恤。
Is that so your boots don't get scuff?
这样你的靴子就不会磨损了吗？
Yeah, I just don't want to scuff the back of the heel there.
是的，我只是不想擦伤脚后跟。
I was going to get a 'Vette but then for my work I needed a backseat.
我原本打算买一辆“Vette”，但后来为了我的工作，我需要一个后座。
I thought, well, I'll just get something that's spunky and corners and accelerates and something that's fun.
我想，好吧，我会得到一些充满活力、转弯、加速和有趣的东西。
So where do you figure Superman wants to go on a night like tonight?
那么你觉得像今晚这样的夜晚超人想去哪里呢？
Geez, on a Monday night.
天啊，周一晚上。
Gosh.
天哪。
We could head down to a couple of local places here.
我们可以前往这里的几个当地地方。
I don't know how busy they're going to be.
我不知道他们会忙到什么程度。
Auburn, where Mark lives, is not exactly a hotbed of nighttime activity.
马克居住的奥本并不是夜间活动的温床。
Its claim to fame is that you drive through it to get to the area's only Ikea.
它之所以出名，是因为您开车穿过它就可以到达该地区唯一的宜家。
At night, your options are fast food or a sports bar.
晚上，您可以选择快餐或运动酒吧。
We go to a sports bar.
我们去一家运动酒吧。
As we got closer, I started to get nervous.
当我们越来越近时，我开始紧张。
I worried we were going to get laughed right out of the place.
我担心我们会被嘲笑。
Mark and I were like anti-superheroes.
马克和我就像反超级英雄。
He, a grown man dressed as Superman.
他，一个装扮成超人的成年男子。
Me, a grown man following him around with headphones and a shotgun microphone.
我，一个戴着耳机和枪式麦克风跟着他的成年男子。
He was like super geek and I was his geek protege.
他就像超级极客，而我是他的极客门生。
We pulled up to the Sports Page Pub.
我们把车停到了体育页面酒吧。
Mark was excited.
马克很兴奋。
I was worried.
我很担心。
What's the occasion guys?
各位，什么场合啊？
Mark Wyzenbeek Just out having fun.
马克·维森贝克 (Mark Wyzenbeek) 刚刚出去玩。
Man of steel.
钢铁之躯。
Man of steel, let me tell you.
钢铁直男，我来告诉你。
Give you credit.
给你信用。
[UNINTELLIGIBLE] fight crime.
[难以理解]打击犯罪。
Luke Burbank It was Monday, so the bar was only about half full.
卢克·伯班克 那是星期一，所以酒吧里只有一半人。
Most of the people were in their 20s, and they were playing pool.
大多数人都是20多岁，他们正在打台球。
A lot of them had tattoos and piercings.
他们中的很多人都有纹身和穿孔。
Mark said the crowd looked a little young.
马克说，人群看起来有点年轻。
He said the outfit does best with people over 40, people who grew up with Superman.
他说这套衣服最适合 40 岁以上、和超人一起长大的人。
How about a Diet Coke and a Coke, please.
请来一杯健怡可乐和一杯可乐怎么样。
Mark, who doesn't drink, gets a soda and goes straight for the area with the most people.
不喝酒的马克拿了一杯苏打水，径直走向人最多的区域。
In this case, over by the pool tables.
在这种情况下，在台球桌旁边。
He stands there with his Diet Coke and waits for people to approach.
他拿着健怡可乐站在那里，等待人们走近。
Out of the first six people we talked to, four had the same question.
在我们采访的前六个人中，有四个人有同样的问题。
Do you got a sock in there?
你里面有袜子吗？
No, I'm just kidding, Superman.
不，我只是在开玩笑，超人。
Man of steel.
钢铁之躯。
Luke Burbank I started to feel really protective of Mark.
卢克·伯班克 我开始真正保护马克。
I wanted to explain to everybody the story of his wife dying.
我想向大家解释他妻子去世的故事。
I wanted them to like him.
我希望他们喜欢他。
But even though I thought things were going badly, Mark was enjoying himself.
但尽管我认为事情进展得很糟糕，马克却玩得很开心。
Sipping his Coke and fielding questions about the costume.
喝着可乐，回答有关服装的问题。
I should point out that Mark's in pretty good shape.
我应该指出，马克的状态非常好。
He looks good in the costume.
他穿戏服看起来不错。
After we'd been there about 20 minutes, we decided to leave.
在那里待了大约20分钟后，我们决定离开。
On the way out we bumped into a group of guys sort of blocking the exit.
在出去的路上，我们遇到了一群人挡住了出口。
The guy stood chest to chest with Mark for a second.
那家伙和马克胸靠胸站了一会儿。
Mark had told me he'd never had anyone try to beat him up before, and I was thinking this might be the first time.
马克告诉我，他以前从未有人试图殴打他，我想这可能是第一次。
Then, before I knew it, the guy was giving Mark a hug.
然后，在我意识到之前，那家伙给了马克一个拥抱。
Not a full blown hug.
不是一个完整的拥抱。
It was one of those, I'm not gay side hugs that guys give each other.
这是其中之一，我不是同性恋者之间互相拥抱的人。
Still, it was a pretty big change of attitude for someone who seemed ready to fight 30 seconds earlier.
尽管如此，对于一个提前 30 秒似乎已经准备好战斗的人来说，这仍然是一个相当大的态度转变。
He was saying, dude, it takes a lot of guts to wear that.
他说，伙计，穿这个需要很大的勇气。
That sucks about your wife.
你老婆的事真糟糕。
Up, up, and away.
向上，向上，然后离开。
Luke Burbank When people talk to them like this, Mark chalks it up to the costume.
卢克·伯班克（Luke Burbank）当人们这样跟他们说话时，马克将其归咎于服装。
But I'm not sure that I agree.
但我不确定我是否同意。
I think they actually like him in spite of the costume.
我认为尽管穿着服装，他们实际上还是喜欢他。
He's out there all vulnerable with no defenses and no aggression, and he's excited to be in Spandex leggings and a superhero cape.
他在外面很脆弱，没有防御，没有攻击性，他很高兴能穿着氨纶紧身裤和超级英雄斗篷。
I don't know all the classic one-liners.
我不知道所有的经典台词。
I don't know all the current ice breakers.
我不知道目前所有的破冰活动。
You can go into a bar, and you can be a fly on the wall and just look and watch what everyone's doing.
你可以走进一家酒吧，你可以成为墙上的一只苍蝇，只是看看每个人在做什么。
And you can be yourself and not really have to interact with a lot of people.
你可以做你自己，而不必与很多人互动。
You can turn around and go into that same place with a costume on and everyone just has to interact with you.
你可以转身穿着服装进入同一个地方，每个人都必须与你互动。
It helps that he doesn't seem to notice when people laugh at the costume.
当人们嘲笑他的服装时，他似乎没有注意到，这一点很有帮助。
He assumes that everyone who approaches him is into his outfit.
他认为每个接近他的人都喜欢他的服装。
And it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
这是一种自我实现的预言。
He acts like they're into it and so he acts nice.
他表现得好像他们很感兴趣，所以他表现得很好。
And when someone acts so nice, it wins them over.
当某人表现得如此友善时，就会赢得他们的青睐。
Luke Burbank.
卢克·伯班克.
These days he's trying to reinvent news talk radio with a show called Too Beautiful to Live , which is available as a free podcast at the iTunes store.
如今，他正试图通过一档名为《Too Beautiful to Live》的节目来重塑新闻谈话广播，该节目可在 iTunes 商店中以免费播客的形式提供。
And now the final lesson of our show.
现在是我们节目的最后一课。
Lesson four, Just Be Yourself.
第四课，做你自己。
Some people are very clear that they are not Superman, and they are at peace with that.
有些人很清楚自己不是超人，并且对此感到平静。
And so what if you know that you are just yourself?
如果你知道你只是你自己又怎样呢？
Just regular size, no special powers.
只是普通尺寸，没有特殊能力。
We had the story of one such man whose lack of superpowers is pushed into his face all the time because of circumstances that will become all to clear to you.
我们有一个这样的人的故事，他缺乏超能力，因为你将清楚地了解情况，所以他总是被推到脸上。
Jonathan Goldstein tells the story.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦讲述了这个故事。
She missed normal men.
她想念正常的男人。
Lois wanted someone normal.
路易斯想要一个正常的人。
I'm not going to say I won over a class act like Lois Lane through anything other than the fact that I was a normal mortal.
除了我是一个普通凡人这一事实之外，我不会说我赢得了像露易丝·莱恩这样的阶级行为。
She had had her fill of the night rides over Metropolis on Superman's back.
她已经受够了骑在超人的背上穿越大都会的夜晚了。
She had done the demystifying, I'm letting you get to know the real me trips to the Fortress of Solitude.
她已经揭开了神秘面纱，我让你了解真正的我前往孤独堡垒的旅程。
He had even taken her to Niagara Falls to see the statues made of wax that honored him there.
他甚至带她去尼亚加拉瀑布参观那里纪念他的蜡像。
And because she insisted, they took the train.
因为她坚持，他们就坐火车了。
It drove him crazy.
这让他发疯。
He would turn to her and say, do you have any idea how ridiculous this is for me?
他会转向她说，你知道这对我来说有多可笑吗？
And then he would laugh.
然后他就会笑。
He would laugh because he loved her.
他会笑，因为他爱她。
And despite all of this, she had decided to leave him.
尽管如此，她还是决定离开他。
I first met Lois at a charity penny arcade event.
我第一次见到路易斯是在一次慈善便士街机活动上。
At one point in the evening, as I stood hunched over a pinball machine, I looked over to my side and there was Lois Lane.
晚上的某个时刻，当我弯着腰站在一台弹球机前时，我向身边一看，发现那是露易丝·莱恩。
Just standing there, watching me.
只是站在那里，看着我。
The left flipper wasn't working, so I tried to keep the ball on the right.
左脚蹼不起作用，所以我试图将球保持在右侧。
But when it came down on the left, together we would yell like a couple of kids rolling down the side of the mountain.
但当它从左边下来时，我们会一起大喊大叫，就像两个孩子从山边滚下来一样。
I've always wanted to reach in there and hold the silver ball in my hand, I said.
我一直想把手伸进去，把银球握在手里，我说。
I never thought of it that way, said Lois.
“我从来没有这样想过，”路易斯说。
And five minutes later, she was ripping open a empty pack of Clorets and writing her number down on the white inside.
五分钟后，她撕开一包空的 Clorets，并在里面的白色写下她的号码。
Lois was the kind of woman I had always dreamed of.
路易斯是我一直梦想的那种女人。
Lois was the kind of woman who made you feel like, I am a man who dates Lois Lane.
路易斯是那种让你觉得我是一个和路易斯·莱恩约会的男人的女人。
And as simple as all that sounds, it's the best way I can describe it.
听起来很简单，这是我能描述它的最好方式。
At first, I was a novelty.
起初，我是一个新奇的人。
In the beginning, Lois would kiss my forehead and tell me she loved how squishy my arms were.
一开始，路易斯会亲吻我的额头，告诉我她喜欢我柔软的手臂。
In a good way, she'd say.
她会说，以一种好的方式。
They're so easy to fall asleep on.
它们很容易让人睡着。
I wasn't embarrassed by my softness.
我并没有因为自己的温柔而感到尴尬。
In fact, all the things my old girlfriends found unattractive and gross about me, Lois found charming.
事实上，我的前女友们认为我身上那些毫无吸引力和粗鄙的东西，洛伊丝却觉得很迷人。
Once I drew eyelashes above my nipples and smeared lipstick around my belly button.
有一次，我在乳头上方画了睫毛，并在肚脐周围涂抹了口红。
Lois swooned as I made my fat gut sing her sweet songs of love.
当我让我的肥肠唱她甜美的情歌时，露易丝晕倒了。
I liked making Lois laugh.
我喜欢让路易斯笑。
One evening I purchased a jar of olives simply because one of them pressed up against the glass looked like an old man with a little stroke mouth full of pimento.
一天晚上，我买了一罐橄榄，只是因为其中一个压在玻璃上看起来像一个老人，嘴里塞满了多椒。
I gave him a voice.
我给了他一个声音。
I made him say things like, "get me out of here" and "my ass is asleep." Lois appeared to find this delightful.
我让他说“让我离开这里”和“我的屁股睡着了”之类的话。路易斯似乎觉得这很令人愉快。
Although they were broken up, Lois and Superman decided to remain friends.
尽管分手了，露易丝和超人决定继续做朋友。
And since they traveled in the same circles, I knew it was only a matter of time before Superman and I would meet.
由于他们在同一个圈子里旅行，我知道超人和我见面只是时间问题。
And I knew that when we did, by any possible system of measurement, he would destroy me.
我知道，当我们这样做时，无论以任何可能的衡量标准，他都会毁掉我。
Lois told me that I should expect a call from Superman one of these days.
路易斯告诉我，有一天我应该会接到超人的电话。
Because he was really anxious to meet me.
因为他真的很想见到我。
And several weeks into our relationship, I got the call.
我们交往几周后，我接到了电话。
When I answered the phone, I felt my chest tighten.
当我接起电话时，我感到胸口发紧。
Look, I'd like to keep Lois in my life, he said.
听着，我想让路易斯留在我的生活中，他说。
And I guess that means we should get to know each other.
我想这意味着我们应该互相了解。
I don't want to make this into a big deal, but Lois tells me you're between jobs right now, and I could use a sidekick.
我不想把这件事闹大，但路易斯告诉我你现在正在换工作，我需要一个助手。
I'm trying to change my image.
我正在努力改变自己的形象。
I don't want to come off as such a lone wolf anymore.
我不想再像一匹孤独的狼了。
It would be part-time and I could teach you a thing or two.
这将是兼职，我可以教你一两件事。
Look, don't get me wrong, I said.
听着，别误会我的意思，我说。
You do great things.
你做了伟大的事情。
Wonderful things.
美妙的事情。
And what do I do?
我该怎么办？
If I make it to the post office to buy stamps before noon it's a miracle.
如果我能在中午之前去邮局买邮票那就是奇迹了。
Silence, he said, cutting me off.
沉默，他打断了我的话。
But he didn't say it in the way you'd think, all capital letters.
但他并没有像你想象的那样说，全是大写字母。
He said it quietly, sadly almost.
他轻声地说，几乎是悲伤的。
Silence.
沉默。
Just think about it.
想一想吧。
When I saw Lois that night for dinner she'd already spoken to Superman.
那天晚上我在晚餐时见到露易丝时，她已经和超人谈过话了。
And she was going on about my sidekick-ship like it was already a done deal.
她一直在谈论我的伙伴关系，就像这件事已经板上钉钉一样。
It's just what you need to get back on the workforce, she said.
她说，这正是你重返劳动力市场所需要的。
And she looked so pleased that before I knew it I was drinking glass after glass of red wine, promising her that it really was no big thing.
她看起来非常高兴，我不知不觉间就喝了一杯又一杯红酒，向她保证这真的没什么大不了的。
Lois is just so beautiful when she's pleased.
露易丝高兴的时候真是美丽极了。
The next morning I met Superman for lunch.
第二天早上我和超人共进午餐。
And before I could sit down in the booth, he handed me a rumpled paper bag.
我还没来得及在卡座坐下，他递给我一个皱巴巴的纸袋。
What's this, I asked.
我问，这是什么？
Your new outfit he said.
他说你的新衣服。
He shooed me off to the bathroom and in the toilet stall, I changed into what was essentially, a skin tight black unitard.
他把我赶到了卫生间，在厕所隔间里，我换上了一件紧身黑色紧身衣。
There was no cape.
没有斗篷。
The whole thing succeeded in making me look skinny-legged and rotund.
整件事成功地让我看起来腿细又圆。
Across the chest in small New Courier font was the word "Stewart."
胸前用小号的 New Courier 字体写着“斯图尔特”一词。
I pointed to the name as I walked back to the table.
当我走回桌子时，我指着那个名字。
It's your sidekick name, Superman said.
这是你的伙伴的名字，超人说。
And you're not supposed to wear underwear with your uniform.
而且你不应该在穿制服时穿内衣。
I spent most of my time wearing my Stewart outfit in his apartment, ironing his costume, fielding calls from the press, and popping boils on his back with a nail and an almanac.
我大部分时间都穿着斯图尔特的衣服在他的公寓里，熨烫他的服装，接听媒体的电话，用钉子和年鉴戳破他背上的疖子。
And in between, Superman had me doing nonstop sit-ups.
在这期间，超人让我不停地做仰卧起坐。
He called my gut a crime against humanity.
他称我的直觉是反人类罪。
His favorite joke was to put his hand on my stomach and ask, how many months?
他最喜欢的笑话是把手放在我的肚子上问，几个月了？
But he wasn't perfect either.
但他也并不完美。
From up close, Superman stank of Brylcreem and he had this way of getting when he was being all solemn where he would use words like shall and vex.
从近距离看，超人散发着 Brylcreem 的臭味，当他非常严肃的时候，他会使用像“shall”和“vex”这样的词。
Also, he's really full of himself.
而且，他还真的很自我。
But through all of this talk, I would try to maintain eye contact with him.
但在所有这些谈话中，我会尽力与他保持目光接触。
And as I did, I would think to myself, I have seen Lois in her underwear.
当我这样做的时候，我会想，我看到了露易丝穿着内衣。
And tonight when I go home, I might see her in her underwear some more.
今晚当我回家时，我可能会再次看到她穿着内衣。
I wouldn't put it past the bastard to read minds.
我不会认为这混蛋会读心术。
As horrible as it all got, in the evening there was Lois.
尽管这一切变得很可怕，但到了晚上，洛伊丝就出现了。
And she seemed so proud of me.
她似乎为我感到骄傲。
But still, Superman was always an unspoken presence between us.
但尽管如此，超人始终是我们之间不言而喻的存在。
I always knew he was out there, feeling better than me.
我一直都知道他就在那里，感觉比我好。
And when I looked at Lois sometimes, I knew she knew I was thinking it.
有时当我看着路易斯时，我知道她知道我在想这个。
And I guess it sort of made her want to think about it a little herself.
我想这让她想自己思考一下。
It all came to a head one Thursday night.
周四晚上，一切都达到了顶峰。
There was this Thursday night tradition where all the superheroes got together for beer and chicken wings.
周四晚上有一个传统，所有超级英雄聚在一起喝啤酒和吃鸡翅。
And on this particular Thursday night, Lois was going to join us.
在这个特别的星期四晚上，路易斯要加入我们。
The superheroes would sit together at one table, capes all undone, laughing and slapping each other on the back, while the sidekicks sat over at another table, commiserating and trash-talking.
超级英雄们会一起坐在一张桌子旁，斗篷都解开，笑着互相拍打对方的背，而伙伴们则坐在另一张桌子旁，一边表示同情，一边说着垃圾话。
I looked around my table.
我环顾桌子周围。
There was an angry looking hunchback the Green Lantern worked with and Wonder Woman had brought along a sad-eyed, mousy, colleged-age girl who sat sketching on napkins all night.
绿灯侠和一个看起来很愤怒的驼背一起工作，而神奇女侠带来了一个眼神悲伤、阴郁的大学女孩，她整夜坐在餐巾纸上画画。
The Flash had taken on this grizzled old sack of bones who smelled of cabbage and urine that he called Benjamin.
闪电侠接手了这个灰白的老骨头，散发着卷心菜和尿液的气味，他称之为本杰明。
Superman told me that Benjamin was the Flash's dad, who the mother had recently thrown out.
超人告诉我本杰明是闪电侠的父亲，最近被母亲抛弃了。
The Flash was afraid that if he left him alone, he would commit suicide.
闪电侠担心如果他不管他，他会自杀。
So he put him in a leotard and took him around with him.
于是他给他穿上了紧身衣，并带着他到处走。
Mostly leaving him in the car.
大部分时间都把他留在车里。
And then, of course, there was Batman's sidekick, Robin.
当然，还有蝙蝠侠的助手罗宾。
I looked over at them, Superman and Batman, the best of buddies.
我看着他们，超人和蝙蝠侠，最好的朋友。
And I imagined what their conversation was on the night they learned of me and Lois.
我想象着他们得知我和路易斯的那天晚上的谈话内容。
It was as I sat there imagining the two of them laughing at me, their massive upper torsos jerking in a manner that is impossibly manly that I saw Lois walk through the door.
当我坐在那里想象他们两个在嘲笑我，他们巨大的上半身以一种难以置信的男子气概的方式抽搐时，我看到路易斯走进了门。
Superman caught her eye and she made a beeline right over to him.
超人引起了她的注意，她径直走向他。
Instinctively, I rose from my seat.
我本能地从座位上站了起来。
Superman turned to me and our eyes locked.
超人转向我，我们的目光锁定。
Much has been written about Superman, but there is an aspect to him that is very difficult to describe.
关于超人的文章很多，但他有一个很难描述的方面。
There's a certain feeling one gets when looking into his eyes.
当人们看着他的眼睛时，会有一种特定的感觉。
And of all the articles I've read, there's nothing that touches on it.
在我读过的所有文章中，没有任何涉及它的内容。
It's inhuman and hypnotic.
这是不人道和催眠的。
But it's not just that.
但不仅如此。
Being looked at by Superman makes you feel more there than anything, even a dozen TV cameras.
被超人注视比任何事情都更让你有身临其境的感觉，甚至比十几台电视摄像机更让你有一种身临其境的感觉。
And it's not simply that you're there, but that you're there swaddled in layers of reassuringly moistened towelettes.
不仅仅是你在那里，而是你裹在一层层令人安心的湿毛巾里。
It's comfy and cozy and I cannot explain it well enough.
它既舒适又温馨，我无法很好地解释它。
As she kissed Superman's cheek hello, I turned around and walked out of the bar.
当她亲吻超人的脸颊打招呼时，我转身走出了酒吧。
Because I was in my Stewart outfit, I didn't even have pockets to dig my fists into.
因为我穿着斯图尔特服装，所以我什至没有口袋可以把拳头伸进去。
Sometime after 1:00 in the morning, Lois showed up at my place full of apologies.
凌晨 1:00 左右，路易斯来到我家，满脸歉意。
She had gone over to sit with me, but I had already left.
她走过来和我坐在一起，但我已经离开了。
She spent the whole night talking with Superman.
她整晚都在和超人交谈。
She said that he's been really depressed.
她说他真的很沮丧。
I've never seen him like this, she said.
我从来没有见过他这样，她说。
I'm actually a bit worried.
我其实有点担心。
He's obsessed with the emptiness of the universe.
他对宇宙的空虚着迷。
He said that after we broke up he went looking for God.
他说我们分手后他就去寻找上帝。
Literally, looking for God, zipping across the universe, and he came back with nothing.
毫不夸张地说，寻找上帝，穿越宇宙，但他却一无所获。
I wasn't in the mood for a big Superman as a man of constant sorrow routine.
我没有心情欣赏一个大超人，因为我是一个经常悲伤的人。
But she was clearly on a roll and I didn't have the heart to stop her.
但她显然很高兴，我不忍心阻止她。
I never realized how obsessive he can be, she said.
“我从来没有意识到他有多痴迷，”她说。
He told me there was once a certain way I flipped my hair that so beguiled him he spun around the earth reversing the moment 75,000 times.
他告诉我，曾经有一种我翻转头发的方式让他着迷，他绕地球旋转了 75,000 圈。
I never knew that.
我从来不知道这一点。
He's just so intense, she continued.
他实在是太热情了，她继续说道。
And this planet can be so cold.
这个星球可以如此寒冷。
Did you know that on Krypton when two people fell in love, they became inseparable and they learned to move together in unison?
你知道吗，在氪星上，当两个人相爱时，他们会变得形影不离，并学会步调一致？
They even had special clothes they wore.
他们甚至还穿着特殊的衣服。
He said that on Earth these kinds of garments had names like Fundies and were only sold in the pages of pornographic magazines.
他说，在地球上，这种衣服的名字是“Fundies”，只在色情杂志的版面上出售。
Superman says the Earth is a sick, sick place.
超人说地球是一个病态的地方。
My fear wasn't that Lois would get back together with Superman.
我担心的并不是路易斯会与超人复合。
Because by this point, I knew it was only a matter of time before she would.
因为此时，我知道她这么做只是时间问题。
But that she would describe the summer we spent together as the most miserable, depressing and disgusting time of her life.
但她会把我们一起度过的那个夏天描述为她一生中最痛苦、最沮丧、最恶心的时光。
I already knew how it would infuriate him.
我已经知道这会如何激怒他。
I could hear him making stupid jock jokes with her.
我能听到他和她开愚蠢的运动员笑话。
You don't need supervision to see through that sap, he would say.
他会说，你不需要监督就能看穿这个笨蛋。
After she went home I decided to take a walk and clear my head.
她回家后，我决定出去散步，清醒一下头脑。
I did so while cursing Superman until there were tears in my eyes.
我一边咒骂超人，一边咒骂着，直到我的眼里涌出了泪水。
I had only walked a couple of blocks when I ran into Clark Kent.
我只走了几个街区就遇到了克拉克·肯特。
I'd been introduced to Clark at a couple of Lois' soirees.
我是在路易斯举办的几次晚会上被介绍认识克拉克的。
And although I hardly know him, he was someone I really liked.
虽然我几乎不认识他，但他是我非常喜欢的人。
He possessed what I felt from my citified point of view was genuine small town warmth, and I just enjoyed being around him.
从我的城市角度来看，他拥有我所感受到的真正的小镇温暖，我很喜欢和他在一起。
He told me I looked terribly sad.
他告诉我我看起来非常悲伤。
Terribly sad.
非常悲伤。
People didn't say stuff like that anymore.
人们不再说这样的话了。
Having him call me terribly sad instead of depressed or bummed made we already start to feel a little bit better.
他说我非常悲伤，而不是沮丧或沮丧，这让我们已经开始感觉好一点了。
He asked me if I wanted to grab a beer and I said sure.
他问我是否想喝杯啤酒，我说当然。
I told Clark all about the evening and he listened to me.
我把那天晚上的事都告诉了克拉克，他听了我的话。
That was all I really needed just then, to be listened to.
这就是我当时真正需要的，被倾听。
How do you know she'll go running back to Superman, asked Clark.
“你怎么知道她会跑回超人身边，”克拉克问道。
You should hear the way she talks, I said.
你应该听听她说话的方式，我说。
Do you have any idea how much Superman can bench press?
你知道超人能卧推多少吗？
Superman once went back in time and beat up Hitler.
超人曾经回到过去并殴打了希特勒。
I mean, who can compete with that?
我的意思是，谁能与之竞争？
Clark started laughing so hard people at the other tables turned around to look at us.
克拉克开始笑得很厉害，其他桌子上的人都转过头来看着我们。
I was on a roll.
我很高兴。
With his laughter egging me on I told him all of the things that over the last few weeks I wished I had said to Superman.
在他的笑声怂恿下，我告诉了他过去几周我希望对超人说的所有事情。
You're such a phony, I said.
你真是个骗子，我说。
You have this idea of what it means to be human, but it's a parody.
你对人类的意义有这样的想法，但这是一个模仿。
Humans feel pain, and you don't understand what pain is.
人类会感到疼痛，但你不明白什么是疼痛。
You may be super, but you are certainly not a man.
你也许很厉害，但你绝对不是一个男人。
Clark thought that was just perfect.
克拉克认为这太完美了。
He put his arm around my neck and rocked me back and forth.
他用手臂搂住我的脖子，前后摇晃着我。
And we both laughed and laughed.
我们俩都笑了又笑。
Jonathan Goldstein is the host of the the CBC show Wiretap .
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 是 CBC 节目《Wiretap》的主持人。
His book of retold Bible stories comes out this spring.
他重述圣经故事的书今年春天出版。
Well, our program was produced today by Starlee Kine and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Wendy Dorr and Jonathan Goldstein.
好吧，我们今天的节目是由斯塔莉·凯恩和我本人以及亚历克斯·布隆伯格、温迪·多尔和乔纳森·戈德斯坦制作的。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Seth Lind and [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
Seth Lind 和 [无法理解] 提供制作帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] The music help for this show by Sarah Vowell.
[致谢] 莎拉·沃威尔 (Sarah Vowell) 为本剧提供了音乐帮助。
Our website, www.thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站：www.thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by Mr. Torey Malatia.
[资金来源] Torey Malatia 先生对我们的项目进行 WBEZ 管理监督。
And you know, we remind him over and over--
你知道，我们一遍又一遍地提醒他——
You're not supposed to wear underwear with your uniform.
穿制服时不应该穿内衣。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。