188: Kid Logic (2001) - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #188 | February 1, 2013 188: Kid Logic (2001) Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 188 集 | 2013 年 2 月 1 日 188：Kid Logic (2001) 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Rebecca remembers exactly when she learned the astonishing truth.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 丽贝卡清楚地记得她得知这个惊人真相的时间。
She was in second grade and ran to her best friend Rachel at school one day.
她当时正在上二年级，有一天，她跑到学校去找她最好的朋友雷切尔。
And she pulled me aside and said, "last night I lost a tooth, and I woke up while the tooth fairy was putting the money under my pillow.
她把我拉到一边说：“昨晚我掉了一颗牙，当牙仙子把钱放在我枕头下时我就醒了。
And guess who the tooth fairy was." I said, "oh my god, who was it?
猜猜牙仙子是谁。”我说：“天啊，那是谁？
I have to know." And she said, "my dad.
我必须知道。”她说：“我的爸爸。
My dad is the tooth fairy."
我爸爸是牙仙子。”
And I remember running home after school and telling my mom, "mom, I know who the tooth fairy is," and declaring it as if I had grown up that I knew who the tooth fairy was.
我记得放学后跑回家告诉妈妈，“妈妈，我知道牙仙子是谁”，并宣称我知道牙仙子是谁，就好像我已经长大了一样。
And she said, "oh, well, who is the tooth fairy?" And I turned to her and I said, "Rachel's dad is the tooth fairy.
她说：“哦，好吧，谁是牙仙子？”我转向她说：“雷切尔的爸爸是牙仙子。
Ronnie Loeberfeld is the tooth fairy."
罗尼·洛伯菲尔德是牙仙子。”
And she said, "I can't believe you know.
她说：“我不敢相信你知道。
It's totally secret.
这完全是秘密。
You can't let anyone else know.
你不能让其他人知道。
But you're right, Ronnie is the tooth fairy, and he works really hard.
但你是对的，罗尼是牙齿仙子，他工作非常努力。
And it's a secret, so you can't let anyone else know.
而且这是一个秘密，所以不能让其他人知道。
He is the tooth fairy, but you can't let anyone else know." And from that day on, Ronnie Loeberfeld was the tooth fairy, and all of my notes under my pillow were signed "Love, Ronnie Loeberfeld."
他是牙仙，但你不能让其他人知道。”从那天起，罗尼·洛伯菲尔德就成了牙仙子，我枕头下的所有纸条都签上了“爱你，罗尼·洛伯菲尔德”。
Now, in his day job, what did Ronnie Loeberfeld do?
现在，罗尼·洛伯菲尔德在日常工作中做了什么？
I think he did something in finance.
我认为他在金融方面做了一些事情。
He was either an accountant or a stockbroker.
他要么是一名会计师，要么是一名股票经纪人。
He worked next to a Stop & Shop in Massachusetts, in Newton.
他在马萨诸塞州牛顿的一家 Stop & Shop 旁边工作。
Had dark hair, wore a suit, and I definitely had images of his driving his Volvo around the Boston area and delivering the tooth fairy treats.
有一头黑发，穿着西装，我肯定记得他开着沃尔沃在波士顿地区转悠，送牙仙零食的画面。
I remember wondering what it was like for Rachel to know that her dad was the tooth fairy, and definitely being a little envious that her dad had this special job and this special power, and that he had this whole other interesting life, where my dad just came home from work, and that was it.
我记得想知道雷切尔知道她爸爸是牙仙子是什么感觉，并且肯定有点羡慕她爸爸有这份特殊的工作和这种特殊的力量，而且他有另一种有趣的生活，我爸爸刚刚下班回家，仅此而已。
So when you would actually run into Ronnie Loeberfeld, what was it like for you?
那么当你真正遇到罗尼·洛伯菲尔德时，你的感觉如何？
How would you act?
你会如何行动？
I tried to act cool.
我试着表现得很酷。
I didn't want to-- you know, it's like if you're starstruck but you don't want them to know that you're star struck?
我不想——你知道，就像你很追星，但你不想让他们知道你很追星？
Exactly.
确切地。
You downplay it.
你淡化了它。
You try not to mention it, but you definitely check them out twice and look at them when they walk away.
你尽量不提，但你肯定会检查他们两次，并在他们走开时看着他们。
Like, oh my god, you're the tooth fairy.
就像，天哪，你就是牙仙子。
I knew enough to play it cool.
我知道足够冷静。
I said, hey, how are you doing.
我说，嘿，你好吗？
What's for dinner?
晚餐吃什么？
How am I getting home tonight?
今晚我怎么回家？
Are my parents going to pick me up if they call?
如果我父母打电话来，他们会来接我吗？
You did play it cool.
你确实表现得很酷。
One interesting question in all this.
这一切中有一个有趣的问题。
Why did both girls come to what seems like the least likely conclusion from the evidence in front of them, of a parent swapping money for a tooth under a pillow?
为什么这两个女孩从她们面前的证据中得出了看似最不可能的结论：父母在枕头下用钱换了一颗牙齿？
Well, Alison Gopnik studies how children think, and she says, of course it's logical for a seven-year-old to conclude that her own father might be the tooth fairy.
艾莉森·戈普尼克研究了孩子们的思维方式，她说，对于一个七岁的孩子来说，她自己的父亲可能是牙仙子的结论当然是合乎逻辑的。
Children understand that their parents, for instance, are powerful in all sorts of ways that make them very different from children.
例如，孩子们知道他们的父母在各个方面都很强大，这使他们与孩子截然不同。
Now, from a child's point of view, knowing where those powers begin and end is pretty tricky.
现在，从孩子的角度来看，知道这些力量从哪里开始和结束是相当棘手的。
I mean, think about all the things that your parents can do that you can't do, and think about the fact that there isn't any obvious explanation about why your father can use a Visa card, for instance.
我的意思是，想想你父母可以做而你不能做的所有事情，并想想这样一个事实：例如，没有任何明显的解释说明为什么你父亲可以使用 Visa 卡。
Yeah.
是的。
Alison Gopnik Which is something that you can't do.
Alison Gopnik 这是你做不到的事情。
The power to be a tooth fairy isn't all that much more impressive.
成为牙仙子的力量并没有那么令人印象深刻。
There's a certain kind of story that kids tell, like the Ronnie Loeberfeld story, where they look at something going on around them, observe it carefully, think about it logically, how one thing connects to the next, and then come to conclusions that are completely incorrect.
孩子们会讲一种特定的故事，比如罗尼·洛伯菲尔德的故事，他们观察周围发生的事情，仔细观察，逻辑思考，一件事如何与另一件事联系起来，然后得出完全错误的结论。
Therapist Eileen Goldman in Texas tells this story about a little girl on an airplane.
德克萨斯州的治疗师艾琳·戈德曼讲述了一个关于一个小女孩在飞机上的故事。
And she was about four years old, and her very first flight.
当时她大约四岁，这是她第一次飞行。
And as the plane was airborne, she turned to the woman next to her and said, when do we get smaller?
当飞机升空时，她转向旁边的女人说，我们什么时候变小？
That had been her experience at airports watching airplanes take off-- they do get smaller.
这是她在机场观看飞机起飞的经历——飞机确实变小了。
These stories are like jokes, and they're also like poems, I think because there's this "a-ha" quality to them.
这些故事就像笑话，也像诗，我想是因为它们有一种“啊哈”的品质。
Some connection is made between things-- a surprising connection, a wrong connection, actually.
事物之间存在某种联系——实际上是一种令人惊讶的联系，一种错误的联系。
And part of what makes these so satisfying as stories is that the logic in them is perfectly reasonable and, at the same time, completely and utterly wrong.
这些故事之所以如此令人满意，部分原因在于它们的逻辑完全合理，但同时又完全错误。
We at This American Life love these stories, and so today we bring you a full hour of them.
我们《This American Life》喜欢这些故事，所以今天我们为您带来整整一个小时的故事。
From WBEC Chicago and Public Radio International, it's This American Life.
来自 WBEC 芝加哥和国际公共广播电台的节目《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our show, Kid Logic, our show in four acts.
今天我们的节目《Kid Logic》有四幕。
Act One, Baby Scientists with Faulty Data.
第一幕，数据错误的小科学家。
Act Two, The Game Ain't Over Till the Fatso Man Sings.
第二幕，直到胖子唱歌，游戏才结束。
In that act we hear one boy's explanation of how love works.
在那一幕中，我们听到一个男孩解释爱情是如何运作的。
Act Three, Werewolves in Their Youth.
第三幕，少年时期的狼人。
That story on the gap between adult and kid logic from Michael Chabon.
迈克尔·查邦 (Michael Chabon) 讲述成人与儿童逻辑之间差距的故事。
Act Four, One Brain Shrinks, One Brain Grows.
第四幕，一个大脑缩小，一个大脑成长。
The story of a dad who's sick, his four-year-old boy, and the perhaps not very helpful lessons of The Lion King.
一个生病的父亲和他四岁的儿子的故事，以及《狮子王》中可能没有多大帮助的教训。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Baby Scientists with Faulty Data.
第一幕，数据错误的小科学家。
30 years ago, psychologists and scientists believed that babies could not think at all, that they were irrational and illogical, self-centered little balls of need and want.
30年前，心理学家和科学家认为婴儿根本无法思考，他们是非理性、不合逻辑、以自我为中心的需要和想要的小球。
What science has learned in the last 30 years is that this is not true, that children are observing the world and thinking about it and coming to logical conclusions from the day they're born.
过去 30 年科学发现，事实并非如此，孩子们从出生那天起就在观察世界、思考世界，并得出合乎逻辑的结论。
And Alison Gopnik and two of her colleagues decided to summarize a lot of this research in a book.
艾莉森·戈普尼克和她的两位同事决定将这项研究的大部分内容总结成一本书。
They called it The Scientist in the Crib, meaning that babies are like little scientists.
他们称之为“婴儿床里的科学家”，意思是婴儿就像小科学家。
They argue that when a small baby sits in a highchair and drops a spoon onto the floor over and over and over for mom or dad to pick up, what the baby is doing essentially is running a little baby-sized experiment.
他们认为，当一个小婴儿坐在高脚椅上，一遍又一遍地将勺子扔到地板上让妈妈或爸爸捡起时，婴儿所做的本质上是在进行一个婴儿大小的小实验。
Because it turns out that babies are very interested in gravity, and how gravity works.
因为事实证明婴儿对重力以及重力如何起作用非常感兴趣。
The fact that things fall down and not up is not obvious to babies.
物体会掉落而不是向上，这一事实对于婴儿来说并不明显。
And it turns out another thing they're very interested in is human beings and how they work.
事实证明，他们非常感兴趣的另一件事是人类及其工作方式。
We are actually the lab rats.
我们实际上是实验室的老鼠。
They're actually doing experiments on us to see how we tick.
他们实际上是在对我们做实验，看看我们是如何运作的。
So when you play "drop the spoon," you get two for the price of one.
因此，当您玩“丢掉勺子”时，您可以花一份的钱得到两份。
You get an experiment about gravity, you get a little physics tutorial, and you get a psychology tutorial.
你会得到一个关于重力的实验，你会得到一些物理教程，你会得到一个心理学教程。
You can see about how that person will do something over and over again.
你可以看到那个人会如何一遍又一遍地做某事。
While kids think with the same logic that adults use and apply that logic just as rigorously, there are certain things that they simply do not know and take a while to figure out.
虽然孩子们的思考逻辑与成年人使用和应用的逻辑相同，但有些事情他们根本不知道，需要一段时间才能弄清楚。
Up to six or seven years old, for instance, it's not exactly clear to anyone what is imaginary and what is not, or if wishing for something can make it come true.
例如，在六七岁的时候，任何人都不清楚什么是想象的、什么不是，或者愿望是否可以实现。
There's a wonderful experiment about this, actually, that Paul Harris in England did, where he got children to imagine that something was in a box.
事实上，英国的保罗·哈里斯（Paul Harris）做了一个很棒的实验，他让孩子们想象盒子里有东西。
So he would say, OK, now here's this box.
所以他会说，好吧，现在这是这个盒子。
We're going to open it up.
我们要把它打开。
We're going to close it.
我们要关闭它。
Now let's imagine that there's a puppy in this box, or else let's imagine that there's a monster in the box.
现在让我们想象一下这个盒子里有一只小狗，或者让我们想象一下盒子里有一个怪物。
And he asked the children, is there really a monster in the box?
他问孩子们，盒子里真的有怪物吗？
Is there really a puppy in the box?
盒子里真的有一只小狗吗？
They said, no, they were just imagining it.
他们说，不，他们只是想象而已。
Then the researcher would walk out of the room, leaving the box behind with the child, and then something funny would happen.
然后研究人员走出房间，把盒子留给孩子，然后就会发生一些有趣的事情。
The kids who were told to imagine a puppy in the box would go over and peek inside the box, just to check.
被告知想象盒子里有一只小狗的孩子们会走过去，偷看盒子里面，只是为了检查一下。
And the kids who were told that there was a monster in the box, they would edge away from the box.
当孩子们被告知盒子里有一个怪物时，他们会慢慢远离盒子。
So they weren't going to take any chances, just in case wishing actually could make monsters happen.
所以他们不会冒险，以防万一愿望真的能让怪物发生。
They didn't want to take any chances about what was going on in that box.
他们不想对那个盒子里发生的事情冒险。
But by the time the children are six or seven, like grownups, they've understood that just wishing for things isn't going to actually make them happen.
但当孩子们六七岁的时候，就像大人一样，他们就会明白，仅仅希望某些事情并不会让它们真正实现。
When they're still small and inexperienced about what happens in the real world, children have to make logical inferences all the time based on the data that they do have.
当他们还很小并且对现实世界中发生的事情缺乏经验时，孩子们必须一直根据他们所拥有的数据做出逻辑推理。
Here is how children responded when our producer Jonathan Goldstein asked them about the tooth fairy.
以下是当我们的制片人乔纳森·戈尔茨坦向孩子们询问有关牙仙子的问题时，孩子们的反应。
What do you think she does with all of these teeth that she's collecting?
你认为她会用她收集的所有这些牙齿做什么？
Maybe she gives it to the people without teeth.
也许她把它送给了那些没有牙齿的人。
What do you think she does with all these teeth?
你认为她用这些牙齿会做什么？
I really think she just likes to collect teeth and make things out of them.
我真的认为她只是喜欢收集牙齿并用它们做东西。
Like what kind of stuff?
比如什么样的东西？
Boy Lots of stuff.
男孩 很多东西。
Makes a tooth house, a tooth trophy, and a tooth desk.
制作牙齿屋、牙齿奖杯和牙齿桌。
How many teeth do you think it takes to make a tooth house?
你认为制作一个牙屋需要多少颗牙齿？
Why wouldn't she just make the house out of bricks like everyone else?
她为什么不像其他人一样用砖块建造房子呢？
Because I don't-- because no one doesn't have brick teeth.
因为我不——因为没有人没有砖牙。
These stories where kids take a perfectly logical premise and go through a series of perfectly logical deductions that lead to perfectly incorrect conclusions.
在这些故事中，孩子们采用一个完全合乎逻辑的前提，并进行一系列完全合乎逻辑的推论，最终得出完全错误的结论。
Turns out that science does not have a name for these stories, which is surprising, given how common they are and how they are recognized around the world for their sheer entertainment value.
事实证明，科学并没有给这些故事起一个名字，这令人惊讶，因为它们是如此普遍，而且它们因其纯粹的娱乐价值而在全世界得到认可。
Here, we've collected a few more.
在这里，我们收集了更多。
We lived in a duplex.
我们住在复式公寓里。
The duplexes directly to the left and the right of use were aunts and uncles, across the street from us, all aunts and uncles, so there was no such thing as walking out and seeing a stranger.
直接左边和右边使用的复式公寓都是阿姨和叔叔，我们对面的街道都是阿姨和叔叔，所以不存在走出去看到陌生人的情况。
I just thought we all looked alike, we all had common ancestries.
我只是觉得我们看起来都很相似，我们都有共同的祖先。
Well, when I became mobile, when I got my first tricycle, I could go a little bit further, so I ventured down the street.
好吧，当我变得可以移动时，当我拥有第一辆三轮车时，我可以走得更远一点，所以我冒险沿着街道走。
And I looked, and I saw this couple sitting there, these two people, but there were people that I had never seen before.
我看了看，看到这对夫妇坐在那里，这两个人，但有些人是我以前从未见过的。
I'd never seen anything like that, because they were white people.
我从来没有见过这样的事情，因为他们是白人。
And because I had never seen white people, I assumed that they were ghosts.
因为我从未见过白人，所以我认为他们是鬼魂。
So I waved, like, I wonder if I wave what kind of people are they?
所以我挥手，我想知道我挥手时他们是什么样的人？
What do they do?
他们做什么？
Do they talk?
他们会说话吗？
So I waved, and I remember hearing the man going [HACKING COUGH] and I thought, wow, that must be the way they talk.
于是我挥手，我记得听到那个人开始[咳嗽]，我想，哇，这一定是他们说话的方式。
It was like a scientific discovery-- like, I discovered the first ghost people and they talked to me.
这就像一个科学发现——就像，我发现了第一批鬼魂，他们跟我说话。
I communicated.
我沟通了。
I waved, they waved.
我挥手，他们也挥手。
I said hello, and they said hello in their language.
我打招呼，他们用他们的语言打招呼。
[COUGHING]
[咳嗽]
Jack Hitt Well, it all began at Christmas two years ago when my daughter was four years old.
杰克·希特 嗯，这一切都始于两年前的圣诞节，当时我女儿四岁。
And it was the first time that she had ever asked about what did this holiday mean.
她还是第一次问这个节日意味着什么。
And so I explained to her that this was celebrating the birth of Jesus.
所以我向她解释说这是庆祝耶稣的诞生。
And she wanted to know more about that, and we went out and bought a kid's Bible and had these readings at night.
她想了解更多，我们出去买了一本儿童圣经，晚上读了这些内容。
She loved them, wanted to know everything about Jesus.
她爱他们，想了解关于耶稣的一切。
So we read a lot about his birth and about his teaching.
所以我们读了很多关于他的出生和他的教学的内容。
And she would ask constantly what that phrase was, and I would explain to her that it was "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And we would talk about those old words and what that all meant.
她会不断地问这句话是什么，我会向她解释这是“己所不欲，勿施于人”。我们会谈论那些古老的词语以及它们的含义。
And then one day we were driving past a big church, and out front was an enormous crucifix.
然后有一天，我们开车经过一座大教堂，前面有一个巨大的十字架。
She said, who is that?
她说，那是谁？
And I guess I'd never really told that part of the story.
我想我从来没有真正讲过这部分故事。
[LAUGHS] So I had to sort of, "yeah, well, that's Jesus, and I forgot to tell you the ending.
[笑]所以我不得不说，“是的，好吧，那就是耶稣，但我忘了告诉你结局。
Yeah, well, he ran afoul of the Roman government.
是的，好吧，他与罗马政府发生了冲突。
This message that he had was so radical and unnerving to the prevailing authorities at the time that they had to kill him.
他所传达的信息对于当时的当权者来说是如此激进和令人不安，以至于他们不得不杀死他。
They came to the conclusion that he would have to die.
他们得出的结论是他必须死。
That message was too troublesome."
那条消息太麻烦了。”
It was about a month later after that Christmas, we had gone through the whole story of what Christmas meant.
圣诞节过后大约一个月，我们才了解了圣诞节的全部意义。
And it was mid-January, and her preschool celebrates the same holidays as the local schools, so Martin Luther King Day was off.
当时是一月中旬，她的幼儿园和当地学校庆祝同样的假期，所以马丁·路德·金纪念日放假了。
So I knocked off work that day, and I decided we'd play and I'd take her out to lunch.
所以那天我下班了，我决定我们去玩，然后我带她出去吃午饭。
And we were sitting in there, and right on the table where we happened to plop down was the art section of the local newspaper, and there, big-as-life, was a huge drawing by a 10-year-old kid in the local schools of Martin Luther King.
我们坐在那儿，我们碰巧坐下的桌子上是当地报纸的艺术版块，那里有一幅巨大的画，是马丁·路德·金当地学校的一个 10 岁孩子画的。
And she said, "who's that?" And I said, "Well, as it happens, that's Martin Luther King, and he's why you're not in school today.
她说：“那是谁？”我说：“好吧，碰巧那是马丁·路德·金，他就是你今天没上学的原因。
So we're celebrating his birthday.
所以我们要庆祝他的生日。
This is the day we celebrate his life."
这是我们庆祝他一生的日子。”
And she said, "so who is he?" I said, "well, he was a preacher." And she looks up at me and goes, "for Jesus?" And I said, "yeah, actually he was.
她说：“那他是谁？”我说：“嗯，他是一名传教士。”她抬头看着我，问道：“为了耶稣？”我说：“是的，实际上他是。
But there was another thing that he was really famous for, which is that he had a message."
但他真正出名的还有一件事，那就是他有一个信息。”
And you're trying to say this to a four-year-old.
你正试图对一个四岁的孩子说这句话。
This is the first time they ever hear anything, so you're just very careful about how you phrase everything.
这是他们第一次听到任何事情，所以你要非常小心地表达一切。
So I said, well, yeah, he was a preacher and he had a message.
所以我说，嗯，是的，他是一位传教士，他有一个信息。
And she said, "what was his message?" I said, "well, he said that you should treat everybody the same, no matter what they look like."
她说：“他的信息是什么？”我说：“好吧，他说你应该一视同仁地对待每个人，无论他们长什么样。”
She thought about that for a minute, and she said, "well, that's what Jesus said." I said, "yeah, I guess it is.
她想了一会儿，然后说：“嗯，耶稣就是这么说的。”我说：“是的，我想是的。
I never thought of it that way, but yeah, that is sort of like "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And she thought for a minute and looked up at me and said, "did they kill him, too?"
我从来没有这样想过，但是，是的，这有点像“己所不欲，勿施于人”。她想了一会儿，抬头看着我说：“他们也杀了他吗？”
Act Two, The Game Ain't Over Till The Fatso Man Sings.
第二幕，直到胖子唱歌，游戏才结束。
When little kids talk about a crush or love, are they talking about more or less the same thing that adults mean by those words?
当小孩子谈论迷恋或爱情时，他们谈论的内容是否与成年人的意思大致相同？
Well, Howie Chackowicz remembers how he thought about love in grade school.
豪伊·查科维奇还记得他在小学时如何看待爱情。
He wanted girls to like him, but they never seemed to.
他希望女孩们喜欢他，但她们似乎从来没有喜欢过他。
Here he is.
他在这里。
Looking back on it, I think part of the problem was how I thought about love as a kid.
回想起来，我认为部分问题在于我小时候对爱情的看法。
I had a few ideas about how you get someone to love you that, in retrospect, weren't particularly helpful to me.
关于如何让别人爱你，我有一些想法，但现在回想起来，这些想法对我来说并不是特别有帮助。
First, I thought that if they can see me sleeping, they would immediately fall for me.
首先，我想如果他们看到我睡觉，他们就会立刻爱上我。
When I went to sleep each night, I would consciously try to sleep in a cute way, just in case the girls I like would peep on me.
每天晚上睡觉的时候，我都会有意识地睡得可爱一些，生怕自己喜欢的女孩子偷看我。
I'd roll into a fetal ball like a kitten and scrunch my head into my pillow, hand under my head.
我会像小猫一样滚成一个胎儿球，把头埋进枕头里，把手放在头下。
I imagined all the popular girls intent on cruelly pranking me got a ladder and climbed up to my bedroom window.
我想象所有想要残酷地恶作剧的受欢迎的女孩都拿着梯子爬到我卧室的窗户上。
But instead of painting "fatso" or whatever on my window as planned, their collective hearts would melt as they saw me sleeping like a babe, an angel buried snugly under my blankets.
但他们并没有按计划在我的窗户上画“胖子”或其他什么东西，而是当他们看到我像婴儿一样睡着，像天使一样紧紧地埋在毯子下时，他们集体的心都融化了。
I guess it was some crossover of a kid's knowledge of what was endearing to adults applied to romance.
我想这是一个孩子将成人喜爱的知识应用到浪漫中的某种交叉。
My second theory was that they'd fall in love with me if they could see me reading aloud.
我的第二个理论是，如果他们能看到我大声朗读，他们就会爱上我。
This conclusion came out of my experience with nieces and nephews who would fawn all over me when I would read to them.
这个结论是根据我与侄女和侄子的经历得出的，当我读书给他们听时，他们会对我阿谀奉承。
By age six, I was already an uncle, and I felt this lent me a certain maturity.
六岁的时候，我已经当了叔叔，我觉得这让我变得更加成熟。
Often, at recess time, I'd go to the back of the classroom and read from a selection of kids books.
通常，在课间休息的时候，我会去教室后面阅读精选的儿童书籍。
All the kids would gather round in a circle.
所有的孩子都会围成一圈。
I'd pore through books like "Percy, the Rose-Eating Donkey," affecting the voices of the different characters and speaking with a preacher's sweaty charisma.
我会仔细研读《吃玫瑰的驴珀西》等书，影响不同角色的声音，并以传教士出汗的魅力说话。
I'm not sure why, but everyone in my class seemed to love the way I hammed it up.
我不知道为什么，但班上的每个人似乎都喜欢我的表现方式。
The only problem with this was, the girls in class ended up treating me like their uncle.
唯一的问题是，班上的女孩们最终把我当作她们的叔叔一样。
They called me "Uncle Howie" and talk to me in baby talk.
他们叫我“豪伊叔叔”，用儿语跟我说话。
[BABY TALK] "Wead me a stowwie, Uncle Howie," so on.
[婴儿语]“豪伊叔叔，给我来个斯托维”等等。
Don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思。
I loved the attention, but I wanted love, not "wuv."
我喜欢这种关注，但我想要的是爱，而不是“wuv”。
So I had all these ideas about love.
所以我对爱有了所有这些想法。
And of all the girls I knew, my theories were most intensely targeted at one girl, the most popular girl in school, Karen.
在我认识的所有女孩中，我的理论最强烈地针对一个女孩，学校里最受欢迎的女孩，凯伦。
She became my most serious crush.
她成了我最深爱的人。
I carried a torch for Karen from grade one to grade six.
从一年级到六年级，我都为凯伦传递着火炬。
Though Karen didn't seem to like me much, one thing I learned about love on TV was that if one was sincere, love can break all boundaries.
虽然凯伦似乎不太喜欢我，但我从电视上学到的关于爱情的一件事是，如果一个人真诚，爱情可以打破所有界限。
I believed that there would come a moment where I'd speak the words "I love you" to Karen with such tenderness and tears that it would break her heart and she would cry, too, and confess her love.
我相信有一天我会用如此温柔和泪水对凯伦说“我爱你”，这会让她心碎，她也会哭泣，并承认她的爱。
I would allow one brave tear to travel down my cheek.
我会让一颗勇敢的泪水从我的脸颊上流下来。
Now, years later, I'm friends with Karen-- actual friends with both her and her husband, Alan.
多年后的现在，我和凯伦成为了朋友——她和她的丈夫艾伦都是真正的朋友。
I even worked for him for a while.
我什至为他工作过一段时间。
Karen and I have talked before about our elementary school days, usually steering the conversation towards how mean she was to me, but I've never really spoken with her about puppy love.
凯伦和我以前谈过我们的小学时光，通常会把话题引向她对我有多刻薄，但我从来没有真正和她谈论过早恋。
I wanted to know what she remembered, whether she knew I even had a crush on her at all.
我想知道她还记得什么，她是否知道我迷恋她。
Who were your interests?
你对谁感兴趣？
We'll go year-by-year.
我们会一年一年地走下去。
Keith, definitely, love interest.
基思，毫无疑问，热爱兴趣。
Barry Seller, the big one.
巴里·塞勒，大人物。
The big one.
最大的一个。
Notice who she doesn't mention.
注意她没有提到谁。
Even though it was so far in the past, that crush is still such an awkward thing to talk about.
虽然已经过去了很多年，但谈起那场暗恋还是一件很尴尬的事情。
When I finally did tell her about how I felt about her when we were kids, I sort of mumbled my way through it, backpedaling all over the place.
当我最终告诉她我们小时候对她的感受时，我有点含糊其辞，到处倒退。
I even forgot to actually point the mic at her.
我什至忘了把麦克风指向她。
When I was in elementary school, you were like a big crush.
当我上小学的时候，你就像一个大迷恋。
I didn't even know that.
我什至不知道这一点。
I thought I was just responsible for tormenting you.
我以为我只是对折磨你负责。
I didn't realize that there was a crush involved.
我没有意识到其中涉及暗恋。
Maybe at the time I knew, but I had no clue, actually, that you liked me when I think back on it now.
也许当时我就知道了，但现在回想起来，其实我并不知道你喜欢我。
One time in the field, Keith told me to tackle you.
有一次在野外，基思让我去对付你。
He said, if you tackle her, she'll like you, and then you'll be popular.
他说，如果你对付她，她就会喜欢你，然后你就会受欢迎。
That is so-- Howie Chackowicz This is the thing.
就是这样—— Howie Chackowicz 就是这样。
--funny.
——有趣。
Howie Chackowicz So the story goes--
Howie Chackowicz 所以故事是这样的——
You know what, that's very good advice, I think.
你知道吗，我认为这是非常好的建议。
It was very bad advice.
这是非常糟糕的建议。
I would have broke your leg.
我会打断你的腿的。
Basically what happened was, I was standing off to the sidelines.
基本上发生的事情是，我站在一旁。
I wasn't often picked to play.
我不经常被选中参加比赛。
This was a coed game and seemed like very fun.
这是一款男女同校的游戏，看起来非常有趣。
And Keith said, "I'm going to throw Karen the ball." And he goes-- you know he couldn't pronounce his "Rs"-- he goes, "you tackle her, Howie.
基思说：“我要把球扔给凯伦。”他说——你知道他发不出他的“Rs”——他说，“你对付她，豪伊。
Tackle her, tackle her hard and you'll be popular, and then everyone will like you." I'm like, "OK, I'm going to do it."
对付她，用力对付她，你就会受欢迎，然后每个人都会喜欢你。”我想，“好吧，我会这么做的。”
And I remember you were running, the sun is shining off and your hair's bouncing, and you caught the ball.
我记得你正在奔跑，阳光明媚，你的头发在弹跳，然后你接住了球。
And I remember I just-- I don't know what came over me.
我记得我只是——我不知道我发生了什么。
I just remember thinking, like, that's what I had to do, was I had to tackle you, and I tackled you really hard.
我只记得我当时想，这就是我必须做的，我必须对付你，而且我真的很努力地对付你。
You're on the ground.
你在地上。
You're holding your leg.
你扶着你的腿。
Now, any kind of logic would have dictated that's not the way to get the girl you like, right?
现在，任何逻辑都会表明这不是得到你喜欢的女孩的方法，对吗？
Yeah, but a lot of times the way young kids react, or show affection, is through physical-- like I was telling you before, that I wrestled with Barry, because--
是的，但很多时候，小孩子的反应或表达感情的方式是通过身体——就像我之前告诉过你的，我和巴里摔跤，因为——
That's right.
没错。
Karen --you just want to be close.
凯伦——你只是想靠近。
This is not how she felt about it at the time, because I felt the harder I tackled her, the more popular I'd be.
她当时并不这么认为，因为我觉得我越用力对付她，我就越受欢迎。
I took her down like it was prison football.
我像踢监狱足球一样打倒了她。
The game came to an immediate end, everyone circling Karen's writhing body, the football near her lay totally still.
比赛立即结束，所有人围着凯伦扭动的身体，她身边的足球完全静止了。
She was holding her leg, looking up at me, saying, "you tub of lard, you broke my leg!"
她抱着腿，抬头看着我，说：“你这桶猪油，你把我的腿摔断了！”
Karen doesn't remember any of this.
凯伦不记得这些了。
She doesn't remember how she then jumped up, got four or five of her girlfriends in the huddle, and miraculously choreographed an impromptu kicking chorus line of "Fatso Men" to the tune of the Village People's "Macho Men." Fatso, fatso men, I would not like to be a fatso man.
她不记得自己是如何跳起来，让四五个女朋友挤在一起，并奇迹般地根据村里人的“猛男”的曲调即兴编排了“胖子”的踢腿副歌。胖子，胖子，我不想成为胖子。
Fatso, fatso men, I would not like to be a fatso.
胖子，胖子男人，我不想成为胖子。
At that point, they all through their hands up in the air in unison.
就在这时，他们齐刷刷地举起了双手。
I remember it so perfectly, but then, after all, it was my crush.
我记得很清楚，但毕竟，那是我的迷恋。
She had no recollection of the time the school photographer called her Daisy Duke and then turned around and called me Boss Hogg.
她不记得学校摄影师叫她黛西·杜克，然后转过身来叫我霍格老板。
Or the fitness day that I beat her in a "Chariots of Fire" style race.
或者是健身日，我在“烈火战车”式的比赛中击败了她。
She didn't even remember the biggest story of them all-- our sixth grade graduation dance.
她甚至不记得其中最重要的故事——我们六年级的毕业舞会。
Now, the last dance was "Stairway to Heaven," right?
现在，最后一支舞是《天国的阶梯》，对吗？
Now, I went to the dance to dance with you.
现在，我去舞会和你一起跳舞。
Aww.
哇。
Howie Chackowicz But I couldn't, because as I was walking, a line of people walked by and blocked me.
Howie Chackowicz 但我不能，因为当我走着的时候，一排人走过并挡住了我。
And then-- it was like a split second-- but then you're in the arms of a grade seven.
然后——就像一瞬间——但你就在一个七年级的怀里。
Really?
真的吗？
What was a grade seven doing in our--
七年级的学生在我们学校做什么——
They crashed our grade six graduation dance.
他们破坏了我们六年级的毕业舞会。
I don't know.
我不知道。
He was tall and thin, he had longish hair, and he came through the back door of the gym.
他又高又瘦，留着长发，从健身房的后门进来。
You don't remember the last dance?
你不记得最后一支舞了吗？
No. Howie Chackowicz You kissed this gentleman.
不。 Howie Chackowicz 你吻了这位先生。
[LAUGHS] Karen Did I?
[笑]凯伦 我是吗？
Like a peck or a make-out kiss?
比如轻吻或者亲吻？
Because I don't think I was making out in grade six.
因为我不认为我在六年级时亲热过。
[LAUGHS] I'd say by grade six standards, you got laid.
[笑]我想说，按照六年级的标准，你已经上床了。
It turns out that Karen remembered exactly one story about me.
事实证明，凯伦准确地记得一个关于我的故事。
Well, my most vivid memory of you is sitting in class and the teacher asking us to pull out our homework.
嗯，我对你最深刻的记忆就是坐在课堂上，老师让我们拿出作业。
And you [LAUGHS] opening up your desk, and the paper kind of overflowing out of that desk, and you rummaging frantically through the desk trying to find what homework we were asked to take out, and not being able to find it.
你[笑]打开你的桌子，纸张从桌子上溢出来，你在桌子上疯狂地翻找，试图找到我们被要求拿出的作业，但找不到。
And our teacher walking up to your desk and everyone knowing what was coming, because it probably happened two days before, and the teacher just lacing into you and dumping the contents of your desk on the floor.
我们的老师走到你的桌子旁，每个人都知道接下来会发生什么，因为这可能发生在两天前，老师只是用带子撞到你身上，把你桌子上的东西倒在地板上。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Now, when that happened, did I seem cool, like a bad boy?
现在，当那件事发生时，我看起来很酷，像个坏男孩吗？
[LAUGHS] No. Everyone felt very, very sad for you.
[笑]不。每个人都为你感到非常非常难过。
More than anything, I wanted Karen to notice me, but not in that way.
最重要的是，我希望凯伦注意到我，但不是以那种方式。
I think problem with my theories was that I expected her to fall for me the same way I fell for her.
我认为我的理论的问题在于我期望她会像我爱上她一样爱上我。
That she would see me from afar, reading to our classmates, sleeping like a little prince.
她会远远地看到我，给我们的同学读书，像小王子一样熟睡。
I thought that's what it took for someone to fall in love.
我以为这就是一个人坠入爱河所需要的。
I wanted her to think that this was the real me.
我想让她认为这就是真正的我。
I wanted to think it was the real me.
我想认为那是真实的我。
And the truth of it was that the real, real me was getting screamed at and having his desk spilled out on the ground each day.
事实是，真正的我每天都会被人尖叫，他的桌子会掉在地上。
There's a way you can love a girl in grade six that you'll never have again.
有一种方式可以让你爱上一个六年级的女孩，但你再也不会拥有这种方式了。
There's something about kids, or at least the way I was as a kid, that is purely romantic in the truest love salutatorian sense of the word.
关于孩子们，或者至少是我小时候，在最真实的爱情致敬意义上，这是纯粹的浪漫。
Only a year or two later, my theories in the ways of love had changed drastically.
仅仅一两年后，我对爱情的看法就发生了巨大的变化。
By seventh grade, I had some spin the bottle sessions under my belt and I concluded that instead of dreaming about a true love I couldn't have, I should get a little bit more pragmatic about the whole thing.
到了七年级，我参加了一些旋转瓶子课程，我得出的结论是，我不应该梦想自己无法拥有的真爱，而应该对整个事情更加务实一点。
One night, after deciding I wanted to have a real girlfriend, I called up identical twin sisters that I liked-- Darlene and Elizabeth.
一天晚上，在决定要找一个真正的女朋友后，我打电话给我喜欢的同卵双胞胎姐妹——达琳和伊丽莎白。
Darlene answered.
达琳回答道。
I told her that I liked her and asked her if she'd like to officially go out with me.
我告诉她我喜欢她，并问她是否愿意正式和我约会。
She kindly told me that she only liked me as a friend, but she was flattered.
她好心地告诉我，她只是把我当作朋友，但她很受宠若惊。
"No problem," I said.
“没问题，”我说。
"Is Elizabeth home?" She passed me over to her twin, who I made the same offer to, and Elizabeth said, sure.
“伊丽莎白在家吗？”她把我交给了她的双胞胎，我也向她提出了同样的要求，伊丽莎白说，当然可以。
And that was it.
就是这样。
They're identical twins.
他们是同卵双胞胎。
What's the difference, I figured.
我想，有什么区别呢？
We went out for two more months.
我们又出去了两个月。
It was great.
太棒了。
Howie Chackowicz is the creator, writer, and artist behind Howie Action Comics.
Howie Chackowicz 是 Howie Action Comics 的创作者、作家和艺术家。
Coming up, kids talking kid talk, adults not understanding, but you will, as our special Kids Say the Darndest Things edition of our program continues in a minute from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
即将到来，孩子们说孩子们说的话，成年人听不懂，但你会的，因为我们的节目特别“孩子们说最糟糕的事情”版本在一分钟后从芝加哥公共广播电台继续，当我们的节目继续时。
This is American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some topic, bringing you a variety of different kinds of stories on that topic.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一些主题，为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Kid Logic.
今天的节目是《儿童逻辑》。
We wanted an hour filled with stories in which kids employ kid thinking, especially the kid thinking that is perfectly logical but completely wrongheaded.
我们想要一个小时充满故事，在这些故事中孩子们运用孩子的思维，尤其是完全合乎逻辑但完全错误的孩子思维。
And we have arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
We have this excerpt in this act from a short story by Michael Chabon.
我们在这一幕中摘录了迈克尔·查邦 (Michael Chabon) 的短篇小说。
"I had known him as a bulldozer, as a samurai, as an android programmed to kill, as Plastic Man, and Titanium Man, and Matter-Eater Lad, as a Buick Electra, as a Peterbilt truck, and even for a week as the Mackinaw Bridge, but it was as a werewolf that Timothy Stokes finally went too far.
“我知道他是推土机、武士、被编程杀人的机器人、塑料人、钛人、食物小伙子、别克伊莱克特拉、彼得比尔特卡车，甚至在一周的时间里，他都是麦基诺桥，但蒂莫西·斯托克斯最终以狼人的身份走得太远了。
I wasn't there when it happened.
事情发生时我不在场。
I was down in the ravine at the edge of the schoolyard, founding a capital for an empire of ants.
我在校园边缘的峡谷里，为蚂蚁帝国建立了首都。
I had just begun to describe to myself and to the ants the complicated rights sacred to the God whose worship I was imposing on them when I heard the first screams from the playground.
当我听到操场上传来第一声尖叫声时，我刚刚开始向自己和蚂蚁描述对上帝的神圣神圣权利，而我将上帝的崇拜强加给它们。
The girls screamed at Timothy the same way every time he came after them-- in unison, and with a trill that sounded almost like delight, as if they were watching the family cat trot past with something bloody in its jaws.
每次蒂莫西追上她们时，女孩们都以同样的方式对着蒂莫西尖叫——齐声，声音听起来几乎像是高兴的颤音，就好像她们正在看着家里的猫小跑过去，嘴里叼着血淋淋的东西。
I scrambled up the side of the ravine and emerged as Timothy, shoulders hunched, arms outstretched, growled realistically and declared that he was hungry for the throats of puny humans.
我爬上峡谷的一侧，出现了蒂莫西，他耸着肩膀，张开双臂，逼真地咆哮着，宣称他渴望吃弱小人类的喉咙。
Timothy said this, or something like it, every time he turned into a werewolf, and I would not have been too concerned if, in the course of his last transformation, he hadn't actually gone and bitten Virginia Pease on the neck.
蒂莫西每次变成狼人时都会说这样的话，或者类似的话，如果在他最后一次转变的过程中，他没有真的去咬弗吉尼亚·皮斯的脖子，我就不会太担心。
It was common knowledge around school that Virginia's parents had since written a letter to the principal that the next time Timothy Stokes hurt somebody, he was going to be expelled.
学校里众所周知，弗吉尼亚的父母写了一封信给校长，表示蒂莫西·斯托克斯下次伤害别人时，他将被开除。
Timothy was, in our teacher Mrs. Gladfelter's words, one strike away from an out.
用我们的老师格莱菲尔特夫人的话说，蒂莫西差一球就出局。
And there was a widespread, if unarticulated, hope among his classmates, their parents, and all of the teachers at Copland Fork Elementary that one day soon he would provide the authorities with the excuse they needed to pack him off to special school.
他的同学、家长和科普兰福克小学的所有老师都普遍希望，尽管没有明确表达，但有一天他会向当局提供一个借口，把他送去特殊学校。
I stood there a while above my little city, watching Timothy pursue a snarling, lupine course along the hopscotch crosses.
我在我的小城市上空站了一会儿，看着蒂莫西沿着跳房子的十字架追寻着咆哮的羽扇豆路线。
I knew that someone ought to do something to calm him down.
我知道应该有人做点什么让他平静下来。
But I was the only one in our school who could have any reason to want to save Timothy Stokes from expulsion, and I hated him with all my heart.
但我是我们学校里唯一一个有理由想让蒂莫西·斯托克斯免遭开除的人，而且我从心底里恨他。
"I've been cursed for 300 years," he declaimed.
“我已经被诅咒了 300 年，”他大声说道。
He was wearing his standard uniform of white dungarees and a plain white undershirt, even though it was a chilly afternoon in October, and all the rest of us had long since been bundled up for autumn in corduroy and down.
他穿着标准的白色工装裤和纯白色汗衫，尽管那是十月的一个寒冷的下午，而我们其他人早已穿上灯芯绒和羽绒服迎接秋天的到来。
"I've been cursed to stalk the night through all eternity," he went on.
“我被诅咒要永远跟踪黑夜，”他继续说道。
"I've been searching for prey as lovely as you!" He lunged toward the nearest wall of the cage of girls around him.
“我一直在寻找像你一样可爱的猎物！”他冲向周围最近的女孩笼子墙。
The girls peeled away from him as though sprayed with a hose, bumped shoulders, clung, shrieking, to each other's sleeves.
女孩们像被软管喷射一样从他身边挣脱开来，撞着肩膀，尖叫着紧紧抓住彼此的袖子。
Some of them were singing the song we sang about Timothy Stokes.
他们中的一些人正在唱我们唱的关于蒂莫西·斯托克斯的歌曲。
"Timothy Stokes, Timothy Stokes, you're going to the home for crazy folks." And the one singing the loudest was Virginia Pease herself, in her furry black coat and her bright red tights.
“蒂莫西·斯托克斯，蒂莫西·斯托克斯，你要去疯子之家。”唱得最大声的是弗吉尼亚·皮斯本人，她穿着毛茸茸的黑色外套和鲜红色的紧身衣。
Virginia had blonde hair, and she was the only girl in the fifth grade with pierced ears and painted fingernails, and Timothy Stokes was in love with her.
弗吉尼亚有一头金发，她是五年级唯一一个打耳洞、涂指甲的女孩，蒂莫西·斯托克斯爱上了她。
I knew this because the Stokes's lived next door to us, and I was privy to all kinds of secrets about Timothy that I had absolutely no desire to know.
我之所以知道这一点，是因为斯托克斯一家就住在我们隔壁，而且我知道有关蒂莫西的各种秘密，而我绝对不想知道。
I forbade myself with an almost religious severity to show Timothy any kindness or regard.
我几乎以宗教般的严厉态度禁止自己向蒂莫西表示任何善意或尊重。
I would never let him sit beside me, at lunch or in class, and if he tried to talk to me on the playground, I ignored him.
我永远不会让他坐在我旁边，无论是午餐还是上课，如果他试图在操场上和我说话，我也会忽略他。
It was bad enough that I had to live next door to him.
这已经够糟糕了，我不得不住在他隔壁。
It was toward Virginia that Timothy now advanced a rattling growl in his throat.
蒂莫西现在喉咙里发出嘎嘎的咆哮，朝着弗吉尼亚的方向前进。
She drew back behind her girlfriends, and their screaming now grew less melodious, less purely formal.
她退到了女朋友们身后，她们的尖叫声变得不再那么悦耳，也不再那么纯粹正式。
Timothy crouched down on all fours.
蒂莫西四肢着地蹲下。
He rolled his wild white eyes and took a last look around him.
他转动着狂野的白眼，最后看了一眼四周。
That was when he saw me, halfway across the yellow distance of the soccer field.
就在那时，他在足球场黄色距离的中间看到了我。
He was looking at me, I thought, as though he hoped I might have something I wanted to tell him.
我想，他看着我，好像希望我有什么话想告诉他。
Instantly I dropped flat on my belly, my heart pounding the way it did when I was spotted trying to spy on a baseball game or a birthday party.
我立即趴在地上，心脏剧烈跳动，就像有人发现我试图监视棒球比赛或生日聚会时一样。
I slid down into the ravine backward.
我向后滑入峡谷。
At first I could hear the girls shouting for Mrs. Gladfelter.
起初我能听到女孩们喊着格拉德菲尔特太太。
And then I heard Mrs. Gladfelter herself, sounding very angry.
然后我听到格拉德菲尔特夫人本人的声音，听起来非常生气。
And the bell sounded the end of recess and everything got very quiet, but I just stayed there in the ravine.
课间结束的铃声响起，一切都变得非常安静，但我只是呆在山沟里。
I told myself that I didn't feel sorry at all for stupid old Timothy Stokes.
我告诉自己，我一点也不为愚蠢的老蒂莫西·斯托克斯感到难过。
But then I would remember the confused look in his eyes as I had abandoned him to his fate, to all the unimaginable things that would be done to him in the fabulous corridors of the special school.
但后来我会记得他眼中困惑的表情，因为我把他抛弃在他的命运中，抛弃了在特殊学校美妙的走廊里对他所做的所有难以想象的事情。
I kept recalling something that I had heard Timothy's mother say to mine just a couple of days earlier.
我不断回想起几天前我听到蒂莫西的母亲对我说的话。
"You know," Althea Stokes had told my mother in that big, sad donkey voice of hers, "your little Paul is Timothy's only friend." I decided to spend the afternoon in the ravine.
“你知道，”艾尔西娅·斯托克斯用她那种大而悲伤的驴子声音告诉我母亲，“你的小保罗是蒂莫西唯一的朋友。”我决定在峡谷里度过一个下午。
The sun started down behind the embankment, and the moon, rising early, emerged from the rooftops of the houses somebody was putting up in front of the school.
太阳从堤坝后面落下，月亮早早地升起，从学校前面搭建的房屋的屋顶上露出来。
The moon, I noticed, was not quite full.
我注意到，月亮还没有完全满。
I didn't hear the scrape of footsteps until they were just above my head.
我没有听到脚步声，直到它们就在我头顶上方。
"Paul," said Mrs. Gladfelter, leaning over the lip of the ravine, hands against her thighs.
“保罗，”格拉德菲尔特太太靠在峡谷边缘，双手放在大腿上说道。
"Paul Kovel, what on Earth are you doing out here?" "Nothing," I said, "I didn't hear the bell."
“保罗·科维尔，你到底在这儿做什么？” “没什么，”我说，“我没有听到铃声。”
"Paul," she said, "now, listen to me.
“保罗，”她说，“现在，听我说。
Paul, I need your help." "With what?"
保罗，我需要你的帮助。” “用什么？”
I didn't think she looked angry, but her face was upside down and it was hard to tell.
我没觉得她看起来生气，但她的脸倒挂着，很难看。
"With Timothy, Paul.
“和提摩太、保罗。
I guess he's just very wound up right now.
我猜他现在很伤心。
He's pretending he's a werewolf today.
他今天假装自己是狼人。
And even though that's fine and we all know how Timothy is sometimes, we have serious things to discuss with him, and we'd like him to stop pretending for just a little while."
尽管这很好，而且我们都知道蒂莫西有时是怎样的，但我们有严肃的事情要与他讨论，我们希望他暂时停止假装。”
"What if he isn't pretending?" I said.
“如果他不假装呢？”我说。
"What if he really is a werewolf?" "Maybe he is, Paul, but if you would just come inside and talk to him for a little bit, I think we might be able to persuade him to change back into Timothy.
“如果他真的是狼人怎么办？” “也许他是，保罗，但如果你进来和他聊一会儿，我想我们也许能够说服他变回蒂莫西。
You're his friend, Paul.
你是他的朋友，保罗。
I asked him if he'd like to talk to you, and he said yes."
我问他是否愿意和你谈谈，他说愿意。”
"I'm not his friend, Mrs. Gladfelter.
“我不是他的朋友，格莱菲尔特夫人。
I swear to god.
我向上帝发誓。
I can't do anything."
我什么也做不了。”
"Paul, Timothy is in trouble.
“保罗，提摩太有麻烦了。
He needs your help, and I need your help, too.
他需要你的帮助，我也需要你的帮助。
Now, if you come right this minute and get up out of that dirt, then I'll forget that you didn't come in from recess.
现在，如果你这一刻过来并从泥土中站起来，那么我就会忘记你不是从课间休息回来的。
If you don't come back inside, I'll have to speak to your mother."
如果你不回来的话，我就得跟你妈妈谈谈了。”
She held out her hand.
她伸出了手。
"Now, come on, Paul, please." And so I took her hand and let her pull me out of the ravine and across the deserted playground, aware that in doing so I was merely proving the unspoken corollary that my mother had left hanging the other morning in the air between her and Mrs. Stokes.
“现在，来吧，保罗，拜托。”于是我拉着她的手，让她把我拉出峡谷，穿过荒凉的操场，我意识到，我这样做只是在证明我母亲那天早上在她和斯托克斯太太之间悬而未决的不言而喻的推论。
There was a song about me, too, I'm afraid, a popular little number that went "what's that smell-o, Paul Kovel-o, he's a big, fat, hippo Jell-O.
恐怕还有一首关于我的歌，一首流行的小歌，歌词是“那是什么味道——哦，保罗·科维——哦，他是一只又大又胖的河马果冻。
He's a snoop.
他是个窥探者。
He smells like poop.
他闻起来像便便。
He smells like tomato beef alphabet soup."
他闻起来像番茄牛肉字母汤。”
Timothy Stokes, I knew-- as I followed Mrs. Gladfelter down the long, silent hallway to the office, hating him more and more with each step-- was MY only friend.
蒂莫西·斯托克斯，我知道——当我跟着格拉德菲尔特太太沿着漫长而寂静的走廊走向办公室时，我每走一步都越来越恨他——是我唯一的朋友。
Timothy was sitting in a corner of the office, trapped in an orange vinyl armchair.
蒂莫西坐在办公室的一角，坐在一张橙色乙烯基扶手椅上。
There was a Roman numeral three scratched into his left cheek, and his brilliant white shirt and trousers were patterned with a camouflage of grass and dirt and asphalt.
他的左脸颊上刻着一个罗马数字“三”，他的亮白色衬衫和裤子上印有草、泥土和沥青的迷彩图案。
"Well now, Timothy." Mrs. Gladfelter took me by the shoulders and maneuvered me around her.
“现在好了，蒂莫西。”格拉德费尔特夫人抓住我的肩膀，让我围在她身边。
"Look who I found." "Hey, Timothy," I said.
“看看我找到谁了。” “嘿，蒂莫西，”我说。
Timothy didn't look up.
蒂莫西没有抬头。
Mrs. Gladfelter gave me a gentle push toward him in the small of my back.
格拉德费尔特夫人轻轻地把我的腰推向他。
"Why don't you sit down, Paul." "No." I didn't want to be left alone with Timothy-- not because I was afraid of him, but because I was afraid that somebody would come into the office and see us sitting there, two matching rejects in matching orange chairs.
“你为什么不坐下来，保罗。” “不。”我不想单独和蒂莫西在一起——不是因为我害怕他，而是因为我害怕有人走进办公室，看到我们坐在那里，两个相配的拒绝者坐在相配的橙色椅子上。
"That's enough now, Paul," said Mr. Buterbaugh, the principal, his friendly smile looking more false than usual.
“现在够了，保罗，”校长布特鲍先生说，他友好的微笑看起来比平时更加虚假。
"Sit down." "It's all right," said Mrs. Gladfelter.
“坐下吧。” “没关系，”格莱菲尔特夫人说。
"You see what you can do about helping Timothy turn back into Timothy.
“你知道你能做些什么来帮助蒂莫西变回蒂莫西。
We're just going to give you a little privacy."
我们只是想给你一点隐私。”
She followed Mr. Buterbaugh into his office and then poked her head back around the door.
她跟着布特鲍先生走进他的办公室，然后把头从门后探了出来。
"I'm going to leave this door open in case you need us, all right?" There were three chairs next to Timothy's.
“我会让这扇门开着，以防万一你需要我们，好吗？”蒂莫西的旁边有三把椅子。
I took the farthest and showed him my back, so that anyone passing by the windows of the office would not be able to conclude that he and I were engaged in any sort of conversation at all.
我走得最远，向他展示了我的背影，这样任何经过办公室窗户的人都无法断定我和他正在进行任何形式的谈话。
"Are you expelled?" I said.
“你被开除了吗？”我说。
There was no reply.
没有回复。
"Are you, Timothy?" Again he said nothing, and I couldn't stop myself from turning around to look at him.
“你是吗，蒂莫西？”他再次一言不发，我忍不住转头看他。
"Timothy, are you expelled?"
“蒂莫西，你被开除了吗？”
"I'm not Timothy, professor," said Timothy, gravely, but not without a certain air of satisfaction.
“我不是蒂莫西，教授。”蒂莫西严肃地说，但又不乏某种满足的神情。
"I'm afraid your precious antidote didn't work." "Come on, Timothy," I said.
“你那珍贵的解药恐怕不起作用了。” “来吧，蒂莫西，”我说。
"cut it out.
“把它剪掉。
The moon's not even full today."
今天的月亮还没有满。”
Now he turned toward me, "where were you," he said, "I was looking for you." "I was in the ditch." "With the ants?" I nodded.
现在他转向我，“你在哪里，”他说，“我在找你。” “我在沟里。” “和蚂蚁一起？”我点点头。
"I heard you talking to them before.
“我之前听到你和他们说话。
So, so are you Ant-Man?" "No, dummy." "Why not?" "Because I'm not anybody.
那么，你也是蚁人吗？” “不，笨蛋。” “为什么不呢？” “因为我不是任何人。
You're not anybody either."
你也不是任何人。”
We fell silent for a while and just sat there, not looking at each other, kicking at the legs of our chairs.
我们沉默了一会儿，只是坐在那里，没有看对方，踢着椅子腿。
I could hear Mrs. Gladfelter and Mr. Buterbaugh talking softly in his office.
我能听到格拉德菲尔特夫人和巴特鲍先生在他的办公室里轻声交谈。
Mr. Buterbaugh called her Elizabeth.
巴特鲍先生称她为伊丽莎白。
The telephone rang.
电话响了。
A light flashed twice on the secretary's phone, then held steady.
秘书手机上的灯闪了两下，然后就稳定下来了。
"Thanks for calling back, Dr. Schachter," I heard Mr. Buterbaugh say.
“谢谢您回电，沙赫特博士，”我听到巴特鲍先生说。
"Yes, I'm afraid so."
“是的，恐怕是这样。”
I went to see Dr. Schachter a couple of times," I said.
我去看了沙克特医生几次，”我说。
"He had Micronauts and the Fembots." "He has Stretch Armstrong, too," said Timothy.
“他有微型机器人和女性机器人。” “他也有弹力阿姆斯特朗，”蒂莫西说。
"I know." "Why did you go see him," Timothy said.
“我知道。” “你为什么去看他，”蒂莫西说。
"Did your mother make you?" "Yeah," I said.
“是你妈妈让你生的吗？” “是的，”我说。
"How come?" "I don't know.
“怎么会？” “我不知道。
She said I was having problems with my anger.
她说我的愤怒有问题。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I guess I was mad about my dad and things."
我想我对我父亲之类的事情很生气。”
"He had to go to jail," Timothy said, "your dad." "Just for one night." "How come?" "He had too much to drink," I said.
“他必须进监狱，”蒂莫西说，“你爸爸。” “就住一晚。” “怎么会？” “他喝太多了，”我说。
"Did you visit him in jail?" Timothy said.
“你去监狱探望过他吗？”蒂莫西说。
"No, stupid.
“不，笨蛋。
God!
天啊！
You belong in special school, Timothy.
你属于特殊学校，蒂莫西。
I hope they make you eat special food and wear a special helmet or something."
我希望他们让你吃特殊的食物，戴特殊的头盔什么的。”
I heard the distant slam of the school's front door, and then a pair of hard shoes knocking along the hall.
我听到远处学校前门的关门声，然后是一双硬鞋沿着走廊敲击的声音。
"Here comes your mother," I said.
“你妈妈来了，”我说。
"What kind of special helmet?" said Timothy.
“什么样的特殊头盔？”蒂莫西说。
"Ant-Man wears a helmet."
“蚁人戴着头盔。”
Mrs. Stokes entered the office.
斯托克斯夫人走进办公室。
She was a tall, thin woman, much older than my mother, with long, gray hair and red, veiny hands.
她是个又高又瘦的女人，比我母亲年长很多，有着长长的灰白头发和红红的、布满青筋的手。
Every morning she made Timothy pancakes for his breakfast, which sounded OK until you found out that she put things in them like carrots and leftover pieces of corn.
每天早上，她都会为他做蒂莫西煎饼作为早餐，这听起来不错，直到你发现她在里面放了一些东西，比如胡萝卜和剩下的玉米片。
"Oh, hello, Paul," she said in her Eeyore voice.
“哦，你好，保罗，”她用屹耳的声音说道。
"Mrs. Stokes," said Mrs. Gladfelter, coming out of the principal's office.
“斯托克斯太太，”从校长办公室出来的格拉德菲尔特太太说道。
"It's been kind of a long afternoon for Timothy, I'm afraid."
“恐怕对蒂莫西来说，这是一个漫长的下午。”
"How is Virginia?" said Mrs. Stokes.
“弗吉尼亚怎么样？”斯托克斯太太说。
She still hadn't looked at Timothy.
她仍然没有看蒂莫西。
"Oh, she'll be fine, Mr. Buterbaugh said-- just a little shaken up.
“哦，她会没事的，布特鲍先生说——只是有点震惊。
We sent her home early.
我们提前送她回家了。
Of course," he added, "her parents are going to want to speak to you." "Of course," said Mrs. Stokes.
当然，”他补充道，“她的父母会想和你谈谈。” “当然，”斯托克斯太太说。
"I'm ready to do whatever you think would be best for Timothy."
“我已经准备好做任何你认为对蒂莫西最有利的事情。”
"I'm not Timothy," said Timothy.
“我不是蒂莫西，”蒂莫西说。
"Oh, please, Timmy, stop this nonsense for once." "I'm cursed."
“哦，拜托，蒂米，请停止这种胡言乱语。” “我被诅咒了。”
He leaned over and brought his face very close to mine.
他倾身过来，把脸离我很近。
"Tell them about the curse, professor." I looked at Timothy, and for the first time I saw that a thin, dark down of wolfish hair had grown upon his cheek.
“教授，告诉他们诅咒的事。”我看着蒂莫西，第一次看到他的脸颊上长出了一层薄薄的、黑色的狼毛。
Then I looked at Mr. Buterbaugh and found that he was watching me with an air of earnest expectancy, as though he honestly thought there might be an eternal black magical curse on Timothy and was more than willing to listen to anything I might have to say on the subject.
然后我看着布特鲍先生，发现他正以一种热切期待的神情看着我，就好像他真诚地认为蒂莫西身上可能有一个永恒的黑色魔法诅咒，并且非常愿意听我就这个话题可能要说的任何话。
I shrugged.
我耸耸肩。
"Are you going to make him go to special school?" I said.
“你要送他去特殊学校吗？”我说。
"All right, Paul, thank you," said Mrs. Gladfelter, "you may go back to class now." "See you later, Timothy," I said.
“好吧，保罗，谢谢你，”格拉德菲尔特夫人说，“你现在可以回去上课了。” “再见，蒂莫西，”我说。
He didn't answer me.
他没有回答我。
He had started to growl again.
他又开始咆哮了。
As I followed the secretary out of the office, I looked back and saw Mr. Buterbaugh and Mrs. Gladfelter and poor old Mrs. Stokes standing in a hopeless circle around Timothy.
当我跟着秘书走出办公室时，我回头看到布特鲍先生、格拉德费尔特夫人和可怜的斯托克斯老太太站在蒂莫西周围，绝望地围成一圈。
I thought for a second, and then I turned back toward them and raised an imaginary rifle to my shoulder.
我想了一会儿，然后转身面向他们，将一支想象中的步枪举到肩上。
"This is a dart gun," I announced.
“这是一把飞镖枪，”我宣布。
Everyone looked at me, but I was talking to Timothy now.
每个人都看着我，但我现在正在和蒂莫西说话。
I was almost, but not quite, embarrassed.
我几乎感到尴尬，但还没有完全尴尬。
"It's filled with darts of my special antidote, and I made it stronger than it used to be and it's going to work this time.
“里面装满了我的特殊解毒剂，而且我把它变得比以前更强，这次一定会起作用的。
And also, there's a tranquilizer mixed in."
而且，里面还混有镇静剂。”
Timothy looked up and bared his teeth at me, and I took aim right between his eyes.
蒂莫西抬起头，对我龇牙咧嘴，我瞄准了他的双眼。
I jerked my hands twice and went fup, fup!
我猛地甩了两下手，然后就发疯了，发疯了！
Timothy's head snapped back and his eyelids fluttered.
蒂莫西的头猛地向后一仰，眼皮颤抖着。
He shook himself all over.
他全身颤抖起来。
He swallowed once.
他吞咽了一次。
Then he held his hands out before him, as if wondering at their hairless pallor.
然后他将双手举在身前，仿佛对它们无毛的苍白感到惊讶。
"It seems to have worked," he said, his voice cool and reasonable and fine.
“看来这很有效，”他说道，声音冷静、合理、很好。
Anyone could see he was still playing his endless game, but all the grown ups, Mr. Buterbaugh in particular, looked very pleased with both of us.
任何人都可以看出他还在玩没完没了的游戏，但所有的大人，尤其是巴特鲍先生，看起来对我们俩都很满意。
"Thank you very much, Paul," he said.
“非常感谢你，保罗，”他说。
"I'm not Paul," I said.
“我不是保罗，”我说。
Everybody laughed but Timothy Stokes."
每个人都笑了，除了蒂莫西·斯托克斯。”
An excerpt from Michael Chabon's short story "Werewolves in Their Youth," from the collection of short stories of the same name.
摘自迈克尔·查邦的短篇小说《青春的狼人》，摘自同名短篇小说集。
Michael Chabon's latest novel is "Telegraph Avenue."
迈克尔·查邦的最新小说是《电报大道》。
Act Four, One Brain Shrinks, One Brain Grows.
第四幕，一个大脑缩小，一个大脑成长。
Back in 1999, Julie Hill's husband was diagnosed with a rare brain disease.
早在 1999 年，朱莉·希尔的丈夫就被诊断出患有一种罕见的脑部疾病。
And two years later, when her son Nick was just six years old, he began trying to make sense of what was happening to his dad.
两年后，当她的儿子尼克只有六岁时，他开始试图理解发生在他父亲身上的事情。
Julie gave us this dispatch back then on how her son was thinking about the whole thing at the time.
朱莉当时给我们发了这份快讯，讲述了她儿子当时对整件事的看法。
My son is mad at God and hates babies, and I blame The Lion King.
我的儿子对上帝很生气并且讨厌婴儿，我责怪狮子王。
I found out about Nick's feelings for babies about a year ago.
大约一年前我发现了尼克对婴儿的感情。
We'd go to the park and he'd see a baby in a carriage and he'd say, "ew, a baby."
我们去公园，他会看到马车里有一个婴儿，他会说，“呃，一个婴儿。”
His school has mixed age classes, so there are kids aged three, four, five and six.
他的学校有混合年龄班，所以有三岁、四岁、五岁和六岁的孩子。
This fall, our friend's three-year-old little boy named Chance joined Nick's class.
今年秋天，我们朋友的三岁小男孩名叫钱斯加入了尼克的班级。
We loved Chance and his family.
我们爱钱斯和他的家人。
We spend holidays with them.
我们和他们一起度过假期。
But having Chance in the same class annoyed Nick.
但钱斯和钱斯在同一个班却让尼克很恼火。
Nick taunted him, teasing Chance to tears, telling him, "Go back home, you're too little for school." Nick usually isn't mean like that.
尼克奚落他，把钱斯逗得流泪，告诉他：“回家吧，你太小了，不能上学。”尼克通常不会那样刻薄。
We couldn't figure it out.
我们无法弄清楚。
Then one night at bedtime, Nick asked me, "mom, is Chance a baby?" I explained that Chance is much younger, but technically he wasn't a baby.
然后有一天晚上睡觉前，尼克问我：“妈妈，钱斯是个婴儿吗？”我解释说，钱斯要年轻得多，但严格来说他并不是婴儿。
Nick was quiet a while, and then he asked me if babies replace dying people.
尼克沉默了一会儿，然后问我婴儿是否可以代替垂死的人。
Finally, I got it.
终于，我明白了。
You see, in The Lion King, the hero's father dies, and the big lesson of the film is that it's one big cycle.
你看，在《狮子王》中，英雄的父亲去世了，这部电影的一大教训是，这是一个大循环。
Some might die, but others are born.
有些人可能会死，但有些人会出生。
Some get to eat, and others are eaten.
有的人被吃掉，有的人被吃掉。
It's all part of the great, great circle of life.
这都是伟大的生活循环的一部分。
So if you're a kid, you think if you could stop babies from being born, you'd stop people from dying-- you'd stop the circle.
所以，如果你是个孩子，你会想，如果你能阻止婴儿出生，你就能阻止人们死亡——你就能阻止这个循环。
Nick thought if there were no babies, then maybe his dad wouldn't die.
尼克想，如果没有孩子，也许他的父亲就不会死。
So to Nick, Chance was a threat to his dad's very existence.
所以对尼克来说，机会对他父亲的生存构成了威胁。
If you ask my husband's college friends about him, they'll tell you Doug was a comedian.
如果你向我丈夫的大学朋友打听他的情况，他们会告诉你道格是一位喜剧演员。
Not that he really ever made money at it.
并不是说他真的靠这个赚过钱。
Doug was an advertising copywriter, actually, but dabbled in improv and stand-up and recorded humor.
事实上，道格是一名广告文案撰稿人，但涉足即兴表演和单口喜剧，并录制幽默。
Back in the '80s when answering machines were new, we sold tapes of wacky outgoing messages.
早在 80 年代，当答录机还很新的时候，我们就出售古怪的传出信息的磁带。
Hi.
嗨。
Sorry I can't come to the phone right now.
抱歉，我现在不能接电话。
I'm in the bathtub listening to my radio.
我在浴缸里听收音机。
So if you want to, just leave your message and your name at the tone.
因此，如果您愿意，只需在提示音中留下您的信息和姓名即可。
[KNOCKING] Oh, there's somebody at the door.
[敲门声]哦，有人在门口。
Hey, whoops!
嘿，哎呀！
Ah!
啊！
Julie Hill OK, so that's not that funny.
朱莉·希尔 好吧，那没那么好笑。
Still, I miss him so much.
尽管如此，我还是非常想念他。
He was my best friend, and I'd take that stupid silliness any day.
他是我最好的朋友，我随时都会接受这种愚蠢的行为。
This is a recent voicemail from Doug.
这是道格最近发来的语音邮件。
Sent Monday.
周一发送。
Doug Hill Eric Clapton, Max somebody, Columbus, gir-- Columbus, girls up-- or whatever.
道格·希尔·埃里克·克莱普顿、马克斯·某人、哥伦布、女孩——哥伦布、女孩们——或者其他什么。
OK.
好的。
OK, bye.
好的，再见。
His brain's shrinking.
他的大脑正在萎缩。
My husband's brain is shrinking.
我丈夫的大脑正在萎缩。
The results of Doug's PET scan showed that he had frontal lobe dementia, a rare degenerative and ultimately fatal disease that slowly atrophies the brain.
道格的 PET 扫描结果显示，他患有额叶痴呆症，这是一种罕见的退行性、最终致命的疾病，会导致大脑缓慢萎缩。
Its progression is similar to that of a baby's development, only backward.
它的进展与婴儿的发育相似，只是向后。
The doctor said Doug, my 38-year-old husband who ran marathons and insisted on organic vegetables, had two to 10 years to live.
医生说，我 38 岁的丈夫道格（Doug）还有 2 到 10 年的寿命，他经常跑马拉松并坚持吃有机蔬菜。
During this time, he'd slowly, slowly lose his ability to work, drive, reason, feel emotions, count, go to the bathroom, walk, talk, swallow, and breathe.
在此期间，他会慢慢地失去工作、驾驶、推理、感受情绪、计数、上厕所、行走、说话、吞咽和呼吸的能力。
Since then, Nick has tried to make logical sense of this mostly illogical disease, and he does this by looking for patterns to help sort it all out.
从那时起，尼克就试图从逻辑上理解这种几乎不合逻辑的疾病，他通过寻找模式来帮助解决所有问题。
These come up all the time.
这些总是会出现。
For instance, before he got sick, Doug drove most of the time.
例如，在道格生病之前，大部分时间都是开车。
But as he got sicker, he could only sit in the passenger seat.
但随着病情加重，他只能坐在副驾驶座上。
About six months after we took the car keys away from Doug, my friend Tim came in from San Francisco.
在我们从道格手中拿走车钥匙大约六个月后，我的朋友蒂姆从旧金山来到这里。
Tim hopped into the passenger seat.
蒂姆跳进乘客座位。
Nick sat in the back in his booster.
尼克坐在他的助推器后面。
He stared at Tim sitting just in front of him and then asked, "Tim, do you have a brain disease?"
他盯着坐在他面前的蒂姆，然后问道：“蒂姆，你有脑部疾病吗？”
I'm not sure when it stopped making sense for Doug to live at home.
我不确定道格什么时候不再住在家里了。
Maybe it was the day he took a cab downtown and was missing until late that night.
也许是那天他在市中心打了一辆出租车，直到深夜才失踪。
Maybe it was the day he went outside with nothing on but shaving cream.
也许那天他出门时除了剃须膏什么都没穿。
Or maybe it was the day he let a homeless person into our house.
或者也许是他让一个无家可归的人进入我们家的那一天。
But at some point it was just too much-- especially too much for Nick to see.
但在某些时候，这实在是太多了——尤其是尼克看不到的。
Doug moved into long-term care in late March.
道格于三月下旬转入长期护理中心。
After Doug moved, though, Nick's stress changed.
然而，道格搬家后，尼克的压力发生了变化。
Two weeks later, Nick came out of his bedroom crying.
两周后，尼克哭着从卧室里出来。
He missed his dad.
他想念他的父亲。
He just wanted him to get better and to come home.
他只是想让他康复并回家。
I had what I thought was a great idea-- to call Doug up.
我想到了一个好主意——给道格打电话。
I wanted to prove his dad was alive, that contact was possible.
我想证明他的父亲还活着，并且可以进行联系。
We went through the rigmarole to get Doug on the phone.
我们费了九牛二虎之力才给道格打电话。
"I love you, daddy," Nick said.
“我爱你，爸爸，”尼克说。
"I love you," Doug repeated.
“我爱你，”道格重复道。
"I miss you, daddy." "I miss you," Doug said.
“我想你，爸爸。” “我想你，”道格说。
Nick started to tell Doug about his day, how he played outside and how he skinned his knee.
尼克开始向道格讲述他的一天，他如何在外面玩耍以及他如何擦伤膝盖。
Then I heard the recording of the operator.
然后我听到接线员的录音。
"If you'd like to place a call, please hang up." Doug had hung up on Nick.
“如果您想打电话，请挂断电话。”道格挂断了尼克的电话。
The way Nick makes sense of all this can catch me off-guard.
尼克理解这一切的方式让我措手不及。
His conclusions are perfectly logical.
他的结论是完全合乎逻辑的。
And sometimes the only way to address his fears is to use the same logic he does, with the same assumptions.
有时，解决他的恐惧的唯一方法就是使用与他相同的逻辑和相同的假设。
For example, last Mother's Day weekend, Nick and I had a session with Cory, his therapist.
例如，上个母亲节周末，尼克和我与他的治疗师科里进行了一次治疗。
Mostly in these sessions I talk, and Cory helps me figure out appropriate responses to some of Nick's really big questions.
在这些会议中，我大部分时间都在讲话，科里帮助我找出对尼克的一些真正大问题的适当答案。
But this time, Nick interrupted.
但这一次，尼克打断了他的话。
He wanted to know what would happen to him if I died.
他想知道如果我死了他会怎样。
We gave the answer that clinically was supposed to satisfy him-- that I'm healthy, that I eat right, that I exercise, not to worry.
我们给出的答案在临床上应该让他满意——我很健康，我饮食正确，我锻炼身体，不用担心。
And for a preschooler, that was supposed to do.
对于学龄前儿童来说，这是应该的。
But he called us on the carpet.
但他在地毯上叫我们。
"Daddy did all those things, too." Nick wasn't supposed to make that leap.
“这些事情都是爸爸做的。”尼克不应该做出这样的飞跃。
The books say so.
书上是这么说的。
And then he said, "Mommy, if you died, I'd be in the house all by myself.
然后他说：“妈妈，如果你死了，我就会一个人呆在家里。
Who'd make dinner for me?
谁来给我做晚饭？
How would I get to school?"
我怎么去学校？”
We explained that my parents would take care of him, and then he jumped to yet another level.
我们解释说我的父母会照顾他，然后他又跳到了另一个层次。
"But it takes a long time to get to Chicago from Ohio where Grandma and Grandpa live.
“但是从爷爷奶奶居住的俄亥俄州到芝加哥需要很长时间。
Who would take care of me until they got here?"
在他们到达之前谁来照顾我？”
Nick is a planner.
尼克是一名策划者。
Having a plan seems to help him.
制定计划似乎对他有帮助。
So in a moment of inspiration, Cory took out a picture of Nick from my wallet.
于是，在一瞬间的灵感中，科里从我的钱包里拿出了一张尼克的照片。
On it she wrote specific instructions that, in an emergency, call his babysitter Amber to take care of Nick while his grandparents drove from Ohio.
她在上面写下了具体的指示，在紧急情况下，打电话给他的保姆安布尔来照顾尼克，而他的祖父母开车从俄亥俄州开车过来。
Just having that little card in my wallet, that little plan, allowed him to let that fear go.
只要我钱包里有那张小卡片，那个小计划，就让他摆脱了恐惧。
We don't know what caused Doug to get sick.
我们不知道是什么导致道格生病。
It could be a toxin, it could be a long-forgotten head injury, it could be genetics.
它可能是一种毒素，可能是长期被遗忘的头部损伤，也可能是遗传因素。
I try to pack that information away next to the Christmas ornaments, but one look at Nick and I get scared.
我试图把这些信息放在圣诞装饰品旁边，但一看尼克，我就害怕了。
Since no celebrity has this disease, there's very little money devoted for research, and so I'm doing this story for Nick.
由于没有名人患有这种疾病，因此用于研究的资金很少，所以我为尼克写这个故事。
Not only so that people will understand this little life now, but maybe someone will take notice and start working on preventing this terrible disease before my kindergartner turns 30.
不仅是为了让人们现在了解这个小生命，而且也许在我的幼儿园孩子 30 岁之前就会有人注意到并开始努力预防这种可怕的疾病。
You might think it's all dark and dreary at our house.
你可能会认为我们家一片漆黑、沉闷。
It's not.
它不是。
Actually, we're doing OK.
事实上，我们做得还不错。
This month, Nick graduated from kindergarten and he got his first bike without training wheels.
这个月，尼克从幼儿园毕业，他得到了他的第一辆没有辅助轮的自行车。
And he's over his circle of life theory.
他已经结束了他的生命圈理论。
At night I stay in Nick's bed until he falls asleep.
晚上我待在尼克的床上直到他睡着。
It's a bad habit his father formed right after he was diagnosed, like was trying to squeeze one last cuddle out of the day.
这是他父亲在确诊后就养成的一个坏习惯，就像试图挤出一天中的最后一个拥抱一样。
Since I've taken over, it's become the time to talk about Doug, about everything.
自从我接手以来，现在是谈论道格以及一切的时候了。
So for the past two weeks, I've brought a tape recorder into Nick's bed.
所以在过去的两周里，我把一台录音机带到了尼克的床上。
Tell me about Daddy, when daddy had to move.
告诉我关于爸爸的事，当爸爸不得不搬家时。
What do you think about that?
你对此有何看法？
Really sad.
真的很难过。
Julie Hill What makes you sad about that?
朱莉·希尔 是什么让你感到难过？
I don't have a dad to read the comics to me.
我没有爸爸给我读漫画。
Sometimes think, I wish daddy could come home?
有时会想，我希望爸爸能回家吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Julie Hill But he's not going to be able to, is he?
朱莉·希尔：但他做不到，是吗？
But what if he died?
但如果他死了怎么办？
Julie Hill How would you feel?
朱莉·希尔 你感觉如何？
The saddest person in the whole wide world.
全世界最悲伤的人。
One night, Nick asked me if I cried when his namesake, my grandfather, died.
一天晚上，尼克问我，当他的同名祖父去世时，我是否哭了。
I said, "yes, I did." "Do you still cry about him?" I told him that I didn't, that right after someone dies, we tend to cry a lot, but after a while we stop crying and just feel lucky that we got to know and love that person so, so much.
我说：“是的，我做到了。” “你还为他哭泣吗？”我告诉他我没有，在有人去世后，我们往往会哭得很厉害，但过了一会儿我们就不再哭了，只是觉得很幸运，因为我们能够如此、如此地认识和爱那个人。
Nick thought about that for a while, taking it all in.
尼克思考了一会儿，将这一切都考虑在内。
And then he said, "I know why you stopped crying.
然后他说：“我知道你为什么不再哭了。
You decided that if you ever had a boy that you love so, so much that you'd name him Nick so you'd remember your grandpa, and that's why you stopped crying."
你决定，如果你有一个你非常爱的男孩，你就给他起名叫尼克，这样你就会记住你的爷爷，这就是你停止哭泣的原因。”
I think he's looking to me now for how to grieve, for what the next step is going to be.
我想他现在正在向我询问如何悲伤，以及下一步要做什么。
That it's OK to be sad and cry, and then it's OK when you finally stop crying, too.
悲伤和哭泣是可以的，当你最终停止哭泣时也是可以的。
Uh, I'm tired.
呃，我累了。
Let's get off the phone.
我们挂掉电话吧。
Now, good night, everybody in America.
现在，美国的各位，晚安。
I'm sleepy.
我想睡觉。
Let's go to bed.
我们去睡觉吧。
Let's turn that off and go to bed.
我们把它关掉然后去睡觉吧。
Our program was produced today by Jonathan Goldstein and myself with Alex Blumberg, Wendy Dorr, and Starlee Kine.
今天我们的节目由乔纳森·戈尔茨坦和我本人以及亚历克斯·布隆伯格、温迪·多尔和斯塔莉·凯恩共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Todd Bachmann and Paul McCarthy, Seth Lind, and Tommy Andres.
Todd Bachmann、Paul McCarthy、Seth Lind 和 Tommy Andres 为制作提供帮助。
Special thanks today to Vivian Paley, Bill Ayers, Bernardine Dohrn, Michael Cohen of [INAUDIBLE] Research and Consulting, Elaine Evans, Brett Berk, Julie Rigby, Jennifer Fields, Jack Hitt and Noah Miller.
今天特别感谢[听不清]研究和咨询部的 Vivian Paley、Bill Ayers、Bernardine Dohrn、Michael Cohen、Elaine Evans、Brett Berk、Julie Rigby、Jennifer Fields、Jack Hitt 和 Noah Miller。
Our website where you can get our absolutely free podcast or listen to old episodes of our show, or see video from our new TV show, www.thisamericanlife.org.
在我们的网站上，您可以获取我们完全免费的播客或收听我们节目的旧剧集，或观看我们新电视节目的视频，www.thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
This American Life is brought to you by Volkswagen.
大众汽车为您带来这种美国生活。
Safe happens.
安全发生。
And by Showtime, presenting the television premiere of This American Life Thursday, March 22.
3 月 22 日星期四，Showtime 推出《美国生活》电视首映式。
Replays all weekend on demand, anytime.
整个周末随时按需重播。
1-800-SHOWTIME, or SHO.com.
1-800-SHOWTIME，或 SHO.com。
WBEZ management oversight for our show provided by Mr. Torey Malatia, who explains his behavior this way.
Torey Malatia 先生对我们的演出进行了 WBEZ 管理监督，他这样解释了自己的行为。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
[MUSIC - PEGGY LEE, "WHEN I WAS A CHILD"]
[音乐 - 佩吉·李，“当我还是个孩子”]
And I'm sad in a way, sad that I'm no longer a child.
我在某种程度上感到悲伤，悲伤的是我不再是个孩子了。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。