181: The Friendly Man - This American Life
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Sign up for a free Life Partners trial, and you can watch the video “A Night of Stories and Improv.”
注册免费试用《Life Partners》，您可以观看视频“故事与即兴表演之夜”。
00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #181 | April 24, 2009 181: The Friendly Man Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 181 集 | 2009 年 4 月 24 日 181：友善的人 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass You know how there are certain stories that, in your family or your circle of friends, become infamous, favorite stories that people tell?
序言 Ira Glass 您知道在您的家人或朋友圈中，有些故事是如何变得臭名昭著、人们最喜欢讲的吗？
Well, for a generation of people working in public radio, especially documentary producers, the story of how Scott Carrier got on the radio is one of those stories.
嗯，对于在公共广播电台工作的一代人，尤其是纪录片制作人来说，斯科特·卡里尔如何进入广播电台的故事就是其中之一。
Here's what happened.
事情是这样的。
Scott was living in Salt Lake City and things weren't going so great.
斯科特住在盐湖城，事情进展得不太顺利。
His marriage was coming apart.
他的婚姻正在破裂。
He had a job painting a semi-conductor factory that was easy to walk away from.
他有一份粉刷一家半导体工厂的工作，很容易就可以离开。
But from time to time, when he was listening to an especially great story on the radio, on public radio, he would think to himself, I could do that.
但有时，当他在广播、公共广播中听到一个特别精彩的故事时，他会想，我可以做到。
And so one day he got himself a tape recorder and walked to the highway and stuck out his thumb and headed east to the headquarters of NPR News in Washington DC.
于是有一天，他给自己买了一台录音机，走到高速公路上，伸出拇指，向东前往位于华盛顿特区的 NPR 新闻总部。
And anybody who picked him up and gave him a ride, he interviewed.
任何接他并载他一程的人，他都会接受采访。
So after a couple weeks on the road, he arrives at NPR's old offices on M Street in Washington with all these interviews in his backpack.
因此，经过几周的旅途后，他带着背包里的所有采访内容来到了 NPR 位于华盛顿 M 街的旧办公室。
It was a Sunday.
那是一个星期天。
The place was mostly deserted.
这个地方基本上荒无人烟。
Only the staff of weekend All Things Considered and some engineering staff were there in the building.
大楼里只有周末所有事情考虑的工作人员和一些工程人员。
But there was a telephone in the lobby of that building and Scott called in, and the then-host of weekend All Things Considered , Alex Chadwick, happened to be the one who picked up the phone.
但那栋大楼的大厅里有一部电话，斯科特打了进去，而当时的周末节目《All Things Thought》的主持人亚历克斯·查德威克（Alex Chadwick）恰好是拿起电话的人。
And Scott explained that he had just arrived, having hitchhiked across the country, and now he had all these tapes, and he would like it if somebody would show him how to turn the tapes into a radio story.
斯科特解释说，他刚刚到达，搭便车穿越了整个国家，现在他拥有所有这些磁带，他希望有人能向他展示如何将这些磁带变成广播故事。
Which, incredibly, somebody did.
令人难以置信的是，有人做到了。
Most people on the radio sound like each other, the same way that most people on TV sound like other people on TV, and most writing in the newspaper is like all the other writing in the newspaper.
广播中的大多数人听起来彼此相似，电视上的大多数人听起来也像电视上的其他人一样，报纸上的大多数文字也与报纸上的所有其他文字一样。
Scott sounds only like himself.
斯科特听起来就像他自己。
There's a feeling in his stories that's unlike anything anybody else does.
他的故事中有一种与其他人不同的感觉。
And so, today, we're going to do something different.
因此，今天我们要做一些不同的事情。
We're going to be bringing you an entire hour of stories from one contributor, from Scott Carrier.
我们将为您带来来自斯科特·卡里尔 (Scott Carrier) 撰稿人的整整一小时的故事。
We wanted to try this, and try it with Scott, because there's just something in this set of stories where, when you put them all together, somehow they seem to be telling one long story in a really nice way.
我们想尝试这个，并与斯科特一起尝试，因为这组故事中有一些东西，当你把它们放在一起时，不知怎的，他们似乎在以一种非常好的方式讲述一个长故事。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's show, stories by one of the most interesting people working in radio, Scott Carrier.
今天的节目是广播界最有趣的人之一斯科特·卡里尔（Scott Carrier）的故事。
Our show today in four acts, including, in Act Three, Scott Carrier heads out on a mission to discover whether amnesia-- the kind that's in the movies where someone gets bonked on the head and you can't remember anything-- he tries to find out whether that actually happens in real life.
我们今天的节目分为四幕，其中在第三幕中，斯科特·卡里尔开始执行一项任务，以查明健忘症（电影中的那种人头部被撞而你什么都不记得）是否会发生，他试图找出现实生活中是否真的发生了这种情况。
Our show today in four acts.
我们今天的演出分四幕。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, The Test.
第一幕，测试。
A couple years back, Scott Carrier was hired to interview men and women in Utah who were diagnosed with schizophrenia.
几年前，斯科特·卡里尔受聘采访犹他州被诊断患有精神分裂症的男性和女性。
He got the job because the director of the research project heard some of his radio stories and thought that he was a good interviewer, somebody who knew how to listen.
他得到这份工作是因为研究项目的负责人听到了他的一些广播故事，并认为他是一个很好的采访者，一个懂得如何倾听的人。
So they taught Scott to administer this test that measured mental health.
因此，他们教斯科特进行这项测量心理健康的测试。
It was 100 questions, each of which was scored on a scale of one to seven.
共有 100 个问题，每个问题的评分范围为 1 到 7。
It took an hour to give the test.
考试花了一个小时。
Scott was paid $30 for each test he gave.
斯科特每次测试都会得到 30 美元的报酬。
The people he gave the test to got $5.
他接受测试的人得到了 5 美元。
I was hired to interview men and women in the state of Utah who receive Medicaid support for treatment of mental illnesses generally diagnosed as schizophrenia.
我受雇采访犹他州的男性和女性，他们接受医疗补助支持来治疗通常被诊断为精神分裂症的精神疾病。
I had little understanding of schizophrenia before I began, and I have little more understanding now.
在开始之前我对精神分裂症知之甚少，现在我也没有更多的了解。
I took the job because I had no other.
我接受这份工作是因为我没有其他工作。
I took the job because I'd just quit my steady job, my professional job, after realizing that what I wanted more than anything was to put my boss on the floor and stand on his throat and watch him gag.
我之所以接受这份工作，是因为我刚刚辞掉了稳定的工作、专业的工作，因为我意识到我最想要的就是把我的老板按倒在地，站在他的喉咙上，看着他作呕。
Then my wife moved out, took the kids and everything.
然后我妻子搬了出去，带着孩子和一切。
She said, I've thought about it and I really think it's the best thing for me at this time in my life.
她说，我想了一下，我真的认为这对我来说是人生中最好的事情。
And so I took the job interviewing schizophrenics because it was offered to me and because it was all there seemed to be.
所以我接受了采访精神分裂症患者的工作，因为这是给我的，因为这似乎就是一切。
And it seemed somehow predestined, a karmic response that could not be avoided.
这似乎是命中注定的，是无法避免的业力反应。
It would only be temporary, something to get through the summer, and I was told that they needed someone willing to drive around the state, through the small towns, searching out individuals who were often transient and prone to hiding.
这只是暂时的，是为了度过夏天而做的事情，我被告知他们需要有人愿意开车在全州各地行驶，穿过小镇，寻找那些经常短暂停留且容易躲藏的人。
I like to drive, I like to travel, and I like the idea of pursuit, so I took the job and did the job, and my life will never be the same.
我喜欢开车，我喜欢旅行，我喜欢追求的想法，所以我接受了这份工作并完成了这份工作，我的生活将永远不一样。
The patient is 21 years old and has lived with his parents since his discharge from the army.
患者今年21岁，退伍后一直与父母住在一起。
He has no friends, no recreational activities, and no social life.
他没有朋友，没有娱乐活动，也没有社交生活。
He spends his time writing and reading, but these activities do not give him any pleasure.
他把时间花在写作和阅读上，但这些活动并没有给他带来任何乐趣。
He has lost weight, has general anxiety and loss of libido, and occasional feelings of unreality.
他体重减轻，普遍焦虑、性欲减退，偶尔还会有不真实的感觉。
He is worried about his unpredictable behavior-- for example, getting down on all fours and chewing the grass because he was thinking what it would be like to be a cow.
他担心自己不可预测的行为——例如，因为他在想成为一头牛会是什么样子，所以四肢趴下嚼草。
The patient is 25 years old and believes that she is the devil, and therefore responsible for all the evil in the world.
患者今年25岁，相信自己是魔鬼，因此要对世界上所有的邪恶负责。
She's not been out of her house for seven days, and only comes down from her room for meals.
她已经7天没有出过家门了，只是吃饭的时候才从房间下来。
A few days ago, her mother walked into her room and found her crying.
几天前，她妈妈走进她的房间，发现她在哭。
She asked her mother what was the most painful punishment that one human being could inflict upon another.
她问母亲，一个人可以对另一个人施加的最痛苦的惩罚是什么。
The mother tried to get the reason for this question, and her daughter mumbled something about the devil having to be punished for the benefit of humanity, something about having to die for his sins.
母亲试图找出这个问题的原因，而她的女儿则咕哝着一些关于魔鬼必须为了人类的利益而受到惩罚的事情，以及关于必须为他的罪孽而死的事情。
When the mother asked her if she still thought she was the devil, she answered, "Let's not get into that again.
当母亲问她是否还认为自己是魔鬼时，她回答说：“我们不要再讨论这个问题了。
It only upsets you and you don't believe me anyway, even when the evidence is all around you, plain for you to see."
这只会让你心烦意乱，而且你也不相信我，即使证据就在你身边，你也看得一清二楚。”
The people I interview are all so sad, so lonely with such thin souls, like ghosts and demons have invaded their hearts and are sucking their souls dry.
我采访的人都是那么悲伤，那么孤独，灵魂那么薄弱，就像鬼魂恶魔侵入了他们的内心，正在吸干他们的灵魂。
A person's soul should be like an ocean, but a schizophrenic's soul is like a pool of rain in a parking lot.
人的灵魂应该像一片海洋，但精神分裂症患者的灵魂却像停车场的一池雨。
They suffer and they are completely alone in their suffering, and there's nothing I can do, nothing anyone can do to bring them back.
他们受苦受难，而他们完全孤独地受苦，我无能为力，任何人也无能为力让他们回来。
I come home at night and cry.
晚上我回家哭。
I sob like a three-year-old.
我像个三岁孩子一样抽泣。
Today, halfway through an interview with a man in Tooele, he says, "I have a crystal in my pouch.
今天，在接受图埃勒一名男子采访时，他说：“我的袋子里有一块水晶。
Do you want to see it?" I say OK and he takes it out, a normal crystal the size of a large paper clip.
你想看吗？”我说“好吧”，他把它拿出来，这是一个大回形针大小的普通水晶。
And he says, "I can look through this and it will tell me whether you're a good person or a bad person.
他说：“我可以看一下这个，它会告诉我你是好人还是坏人。
What do you want me to do?
你想让我做什么？
Do you want me to look through it or not?"
你要我看还是不看？”
My first thought is to say, "Do you want to go on with the interview?
我的第一个想法是说：“你想继续采访吗？
Maybe when we're done, you can look through the crystal." But then I realize that he's really asking me to take his test, just like I'm asking him to take mine.
也许当我们完成后，你可以透过水晶看看。”但后来我意识到他实际上是在要求我参加他的考试，就像我要求他参加我的考试一样。
I come into his house.
我走进他的房子。
I ask him very personal questions, and I expect him to answer honestly.
我问他非常私人的问题，我希望他诚实地回答。
And why should he?
他为什么要这样做？
So I say, "OK, go ahead."
所以我说：“好吧，继续吧。”
And he puts the crystal up to his eye, turns it clockwise and counterclockwise, back and forth, squinting, looking me up and down, and he says, "I can't tell for sure.
他把水晶放在眼前，顺时针、逆时针、来回转动，眯起眼睛，上下打量我，然后他说：“我不能确定。
I'm going to have to read your mind.
我得读懂你的想法。
Here, take my hand." He holds out his right hand with the crystal resting in the palm.
来，握住我的手。”他伸出右手，掌心托着水晶。
I take his hand and he puts his left hand over mine and squeezes it tight and shakes it, and goes into a small spasm.
我握住他的手，他将左手放在我的手上，紧紧地握着，摇晃着，然后开始轻微的痉挛。
Then he lets go and sort of sits back like he's exhausted.
然后他放开手，坐下来，好像他已经筋疲力尽了。
He asks me if I felt anything, and I say, "Well, maybe a little." And he says, "I sent you a message.
他问我是否感觉到了什么，我说：“嗯，也许有一点。”他说：“我给你发了一条消息。
I put it in your mind.
我把它记在你心里了。
I told you what is wrong with me."
我告诉过你我出了什么问题。”
I'm not supposed to figure out what's wrong with these people.
我不应该弄清楚这些人出了什么问题。
I'm just supposed to ask the questions and score the answers from one to seven.
我只需要提出问题并给答案打分（从一到七）。
This is partly because I'm not a doctor and might get something going that I wouldn't know how to contain, but it's mainly because my supervisors want clean data.
部分原因是我不是医生，可能会发生一些我不知道如何控制的事情，但主要是因为我的主管想要干净的数据。
They want all the people asking the questions to be doing it in the same way.
他们希望所有提出问题的人都以同样的方式这样做。
I'm not supposed to get emotional.
我不应该情绪化。
I'm not supposed to let the patient get emotional.
我不应该让病人情绪激动。
The therapy part of the county mental health system is in another department.
县精神卫生系统的治疗部分在另一个部门。
I wouldn't even know what number to call, and I've been told more than once not to worry about it.
我什至不知道该拨打什么号码，而且我不止一次被告知不要担心。
I should never have let him take the crystal out of his pouch.
我不应该让他从袋子里取出水晶。
I drove around all day trying to find a Navajo man.
我整天开车四处寻找纳瓦霍人。
He lives very close to the Four Corners, the cross where Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona meet.
他住的地方离“四角”很近，即犹他州、科罗拉多州、新墨西哥州和亚利桑那州交汇处的十字路口。
It's all dirt roads, a house every five miles or so, no addresses, no phones.
都是土路，每五英里左右就有一栋房子，没有地址，没有电话。
I stop at every house and knock on the door, but either nobody's home or nobody will answer.
我每到一户人家都会停下来敲门，但要么没人在家，要么没人回答。
I flag down every car that passes and ask directions, and the people offer complicated directions that I follow as best as possible, sometimes driving for 20 or 30 miles.
我标记每辆经过的汽车并询问方向，人们会提供复杂的方向，我会尽可能地遵循，有时会行驶 20 或 30 英里。
But it's always the wrong place, or nobody's home, or there just isn't a house there at all.
但它总是在错误的地方，或者没人在家，或者根本就没有房子。
Driving around, I think about how I have some of the same problems as the people I interview.
开车四处走动时，我思考自己是否也遇到了与我采访的人相同的问题。
I'm angry, depressed, prone to paranoid delusions, and I worry a lot.
我很生气，很沮丧，容易产生偏执妄想，而且我很担心。
Up to now, I thought these were common problems and that I was more or less able to control them.
到目前为止，我认为这些都是常见问题，而且我或多或少能够控制它们。
But now I don't know.
但现在我不知道了。
I feel like I'm just faking it.
我觉得我只是在假装。
Eventually, late in the afternoon, I find the man, or at least I think he's the man.
最终，在下午晚些时候，我找到了那个人，或者至少我认为他就是那个人。
I'm a third of the way through the test before I realize he's not the right guy.
在我意识到他不是合适的人选之前，我已经通过了三分之一的测试。
"When was your last visit to a mental health clinic?"
“您最后一次去心理健康诊所是什么时候？”
"When did you last see a doctor?"
“你上次看医生是什么时候？”
"Do you blame yourself for anything you've done or not done?"
“你会因为自己做过或没做过的事情而责怪自己吗？”
"No." "Have you felt more self-confident than usual?"
“不。” “你是不是感觉比平时更自信了？”
"No." "Have you heard voices or other things that weren't there, or that other people couldn't hear, or seen things that weren't there?"
“不。” “你有没有听到过不存在的声音或其他东西，或者其他人听不到的东西，或者看到过不存在的东西？”
And he says, "I think you want to talk to my son." And I ask him what his son's name is and he says, "Same as mine."
他说：“我想你想和我儿子谈谈。”我问他儿子叫什么名字，他说：“和我的一样。”
I come back the next morning and interview the son in the kitchen.
第二天早上我回来在厨房采访儿子。
They make coffee for me on a propane camp stove, as the house has no electricity.
由于房子没有电，他们用丙烷野营炉为我煮咖啡。
The son is 19 years old, a good-looking kid, tall, healthy.
儿子今年19岁，长得好看，身材高大，身体健康。
He says he used to run cross-country in high school.
他说他在高中时曾参加过越野跑。
He seems to be fine, but as I go through the questions, he starts to fix his eyes on mine, a direct, almost hypnotic stare straight into my head, like he's trying to pull me in and trap me.
他看起来很好，但当我回答问题时，他开始盯着我的眼睛，一种直接、近乎催眠的目光直视着我的脑袋，就像他试图把我拉进去并困住我一样。
I try to look back, to look just as deeply into his mind, but it's like looking into a cave.
我试着回头看，同样深入地观察他的思想，但这就像看一个山洞。
He says he hears voices, satanic voices, and that he worries a lot about his shoes, that they're not the right kind, not the kind he sees on MTV.
他说他听到了声音，恶魔的声音，他非常担心他的鞋子，因为它们不是正确的类型，不是他在 MTV 上看到的那种。
I can't tell if he's sick or if he's just trying to torture me, and I drive away thinking I don't know anything about this disease, that I know even less than when I started.
我不知道他是否生病了，或者他只是想折磨我，我开车离开时以为我对这种疾病一无所知，我知道的甚至比开始时还要少。
I spent two days driving around, and I made $30, and I feel really, really tired.
我开了两天车，赚了 30 美元，我感觉真的真的很累。
The house is dark, as all the windows have heavy curtains pulled nearly shut.
房子里很黑，所有的窗户都拉着厚重的窗帘，几乎关上了。
The curtains over the big picture window in the living room are open just a bit, and the light cuts through like a laser beam and hits the red shag carpet, throwing up small dust particles and cigarette ash.
客厅大窗户上的窗帘打开了一点，光线像激光束一样穿透，打在红色粗毛地毯上，扬起细小的灰尘颗粒和烟灰。
Two feet away from the light, near the television, is a slice of pizza lying upside down in the carpet.
距离灯光两英尺远，靠近电视的地方，有一片披萨倒放在地毯上。
I'm interviewing the woman, a mother, and her teenage daughter is on the phone talking to her boyfriend, or rather a series of boyfriends, who call and call, and all of them want her to go out right now.
我正在采访这位女士，她是一位母亲，她十几岁的女儿正在打电话给她的男朋友，或者更确切地说是一系列的男朋友，他们不断地打电话，他们都希望她现在就出去。
But her mother won't let her.
但她妈妈不让她这么做。
She's trying to answer my questions, trying to concentrate and be polite, but she's mainly listening to what her daughter is saying on the phone, and will suddenly switch from saying, "No, no, I've been feeling fine, I haven't had a relapse in months," to screaming out, "Is that John?
她试图回答我的问题，试图集中注意力并保持礼貌，但她主要是听女儿在电话里说的话，然后会突然从说“不，不，我感觉很好，几个月没有复发”，变成尖叫起来，“那是约翰吗？
I told you never to talk to him again," or "Who is it?
我告诉过你永远不要再和他说话，”或者“他是谁？
Is it a boy?
是男孩吗？
You can't go out.
你不能出去。
Tell him he has to come over here."
告诉他他必须来这里。”
I can't stop looking at the slice of pizza on the carpet.
我无法停止看着地毯上的披萨片。
I keep looking at the slice of pizza, because it's the only clue that the woman is sick.
我一直看着那片披萨，因为这是那个女人生病的唯一线索。
I mean she has a teenage daughter and a dirty house, and maybe she shouldn't try to wear makeup to bed, but these are not necessarily symptoms of schizophrenia.
我的意思是她有一个十几岁的女儿和一个肮脏的房子，也许她不应该尝试化妆睡觉，但这些不一定是精神分裂症的症状。
She seems to be fine, just worn out, until I get to the question, "Have you been worrying a lot?"
她看起来很好，只是疲惫不堪，直到我问“你一直担心吗？”
And she says, yes, she has.
她说，是的，她做到了。
She's been worrying a lot that the elders of the church, the Mormon church, will take her daughter away from her.
她一直很担心摩门教教会的长老会把她的女儿从她身边带走。
And I ask her why, and she says because she stopped taking her medication.
我问她为什么，她说因为她停止服药了。
And I ask her, "Why did you stop taking your medication?" And she says that the only reason she takes it is because she told her bishop that she was visited by the archangel Gabriel and that she'd had sex with him.
我问她：“你为什么停止服药？”她说她接受它的唯一原因是因为她告诉她的主教，大天使加百列拜访了她，并且她与他发生了性关系。
And then she was also visited by the archangel Michael, and that she'd had sex with both of them at once, and that they'd ravished her almost every night.
然后大天使迈克尔也拜访了她，她同时与他们两个发生了性关系，他们几乎每天晚上都强奸了她。
So her bishop made her go to a doctor, and the doctor gave her some pills, and she took the pills, and the angels stopped coming.
所以她的主教让她去看医生，医生给了她一些药，她吃了药，天使就不再来了。
The bishop and the elders had told her that if she had sex with any more angels, they'd take her daughter away.
主教和长老们告诉她，如果她和更多的天使发生性关系，他们就会把她的女儿带走。
So I asked her again why she stopped taking her medication and she says, "I'm lonely.
所以我再次问她为什么停止服药，她说：“我很孤独。
I miss them.
我想念他们。
I want them to come back."
我希望他们回来。”
Today in a restaurant, eating lunch between interviews, I decided to take the test.
今天在一家餐厅，面试间隙吃午餐，我决定参加考试。
I answered the questions and scored myself appropriately, and at some point I realized I wasn't doing so well.
我回答了问题并给自己打了适当的分，在某些时候我意识到自己做得不太好。
I decided not to even add up the points, because then I'd be left with a score and I'd never forget it.
我决定不把分数加起来，因为那样我就会得到一个分数，而且我永远不会忘记它。
If I were to write a report on myself, it would sound something like this.
如果我要写一份关于自己的报告，听起来会是这样的。
The patient is 36 years old and lives alone since his wife left him three weeks ago.
患者今年 36 岁，自从三周前妻子离开他以来，他一直独自生活。
She took the kids and all the silverware except for a large knife and a bowl and a coffee cup.
她拿走了孩子们和所有的银器，除了一把大刀、一个碗和一个咖啡杯。
The patient admits that her leaving may have had something to do with the fact that, without warning, he completely gutted the house, tore out all the walls and ceilings, all the lath and plaster, right down to the studs.
病人承认，她的离开可能与这样一个事实有关：在没有任何警告的情况下，他把房子彻底拆毁了，撕掉了所有的墙壁和天花板，所有的板条和灰泥，直到螺柱。
He says he did this in order to live like a primitive.
他说他这样做是为了像原始人一样生活。
When asked if he was successful, he says it was the first step in the right direction.
当被问及他是否成功时，他说这是朝着正确方向迈出的第一步。
The patient is a 36-year-old male who lives alone since his wife and children left him two months ago.
患者是一名36岁男性，自从两个月前妻子和孩子离开他以来，他一直独自生活。
He says there's a darkness that separates him from other people, a heavy darkness like looking at a person from the bottom of a well.
他说有一种黑暗将他与其他人分开，一种沉重的黑暗，就像从井底看一个人一样。
He believes that if he could say the right words, then the darkness would go away.
他相信，如果他能说出正确的话，那么黑暗就会消失。
He says he sometimes knows the right words but cannot say them.
他说他有时知道正确的词语，但无法说出来。
Other times, he can't even think of the words to say.
其他时候，他甚至想不出该说些什么。
The patient is 36 years old and lives alone since his wife and children left him three months ago.
患者今年 36 岁，自从三个月前妻子和孩子离开他以来，一直独自生活。
Last week he went fishing in the San Juans, and now believes that there's no better fisherman than himself.
上周他去圣胡安钓鱼，现在他相信没有比自己更好的渔夫了。
He says, "I can't tell you about it, because talking about fishing is silly, like farting and tap dancing at the same time.
他说：“我不能告诉你，因为谈论钓鱼是愚蠢的，就像同时放屁和踢踏舞一样。
All I can say is I walk around in the water, and I know the instant the fish will jump for the fly.
我只能说，我在水里走来走去，我知道鱼儿会扑向苍蝇的那一刻。
I cut open their stomachs and squeeze out the bugs in my hand, study what they eat, how it all gets digested, even the exoskeleton and wings." He says he was sick before, but now he's OK, and that it was the fly rod, just holding the rod in his hand, that cured him.
我切开它们的胃，挤出手中的虫子，研究它们吃什么，如何消化它们，甚至是外骨骼和翅膀。”他说他以前病过，但现在好了，是飞蝇竿的作用，只要手里握着飞蝇竿，就治好了他的病。
His house is clean.
他的房子很干净。
The electricity is on.
电源已接通。
The walls have been sheetrocked and painted white.
墙壁已铺上石膏板并漆成白色。
He says, "I'll have to ask her, beg her, and maybe she'll come back."
他说：“我得问她，求她，也许她会回来。”
[MUSIC -- "I TRAVEL ALONE" BY NOEL COWARD]
[音乐——诺埃尔·考沃德的《我独自旅行》]
Act Two, The Friendly Man.
第二幕，友善的人。
There are three kids.
有三个孩子。
There's a house.
有一个房子。
There's a marriage.
有一场婚姻。
What Scott wanted was a steady job with bosses he did not hate and who did not hate him.
斯科特想要的是一份稳定的工作，和他不讨厌的老板在一起，老板也不讨厌他。
He found that job, for a short time, in commercial radio.
他在商业广播电台短暂找到了这份工作。
There are a lot of bad ways to wake up, but surely one of the worst is by looking into the flood light from a police car.
有很多不好的叫醒方式，但最糟糕的方式肯定是从警车里看泛光灯。
I was in a field, some farmer's field next to a power plant just outside Lawrence, Kansas.
我当时在堪萨斯州劳伦斯郊外的一片田地里，靠近一座发电厂的农田。
I was sleeping there next to my car before driving into Kansas City in the morning.
在早上开车前往堪萨斯城之前，我睡在车旁边。
The policeman somehow saw my car from the road, and they pulled up right in front of it, and I didn't even wake up.
警察不知怎的从路上看到了我的车，他们就停在车前，我什至没有醒来。
I was lying on the ground on the passenger side of the car, and when I did wake up, one of the policemen was in the front seat, I guess looking for drugs, and the other was 40 feet away in the hay field.
我躺在汽车乘客侧的地上，当我醒来时，一名警察坐在前座，我猜是在寻找毒品，另一名警察则在 40 英尺外的干草地里。
And I don't know why he was out there, unless he had his gun pulled, covering this partner.
我不知道他为什么在外面，除非他拔出枪来掩护这个伙伴。
He said I scared him when I woke up so suddenly.
他说我突然醒来吓到他了。
I sat straight up.
我坐直了身子。
Boom, awake.
轰隆隆，醒了。
And I bet he nearly shot me dead.
我敢打赌他差点开枪打死我。
They wanted to know what I was doing sleeping in the field, and I told them that I didn't like motels, which was only partly true.
他们想知道我睡在田野里做什么，我告诉他们我不喜欢汽车旅馆，这只是部分事实。
So I decided to tell them that I was born here in Lawrence, but that I don't live here anymore, which was completely true but somehow didn't achieve the level of meaning I hoped it would.
所以我决定告诉他们我出生在劳伦斯，但我不再住在这里了，这是完全正确的，但不知何故没有达到我希望的意义程度。
They asked me what I was going to do in Kansas City, and I said I was going to interview the mayor at 11:00 in the morning.
他们问我去堪萨斯城做什么，我说上午 11:00 去采访市长。
I told them I was a producer for a radio program.
我告诉他们我是一个广播节目的制作人。
I told them the name of the program and the name of the host, and they'd heard of him.
我告诉他们节目的名称和主持人的名字，他们听说过他。
You'd know who he is as well, if I were to say his name, but I've decided not to say his name and call him the Friendly Man instead, because this is his persona.
如果我说出他的名字，你也会知道他是谁，但我决定不说出他的名字，而是称他为“友好的人”，因为这是他的角色。
I told the policemen that every weekday morning, the Friendly Man has a five-minute feed on one of the networks, and 12 million people listen.
我告诉警察，每个工作日早上，Friendly Man 都会在其中一个网络上播放五分钟的节目，有 1200 万人收听。
His stories are, as a rule, upbeat and positive.
他的故事通常是乐观和积极的。
Their general theme is people taking responsibility for their lives, their community, their country.
他们的总主题是人们对自己的生活、社区和国家负责。
The Friendly Man always has good news, and the good news is always that America just keeps getting better and better.
友好的人总是有好消息，好消息总是美国一直在变得越来越好。
Both policemen said they had heard of the program and that they liked the Friendly Man, and so they decided they liked me as well, and that it was OK to sleep in the field, sorry to have bothered you.
两位警察都说他们听说过这个项目，而且他们喜欢这个友好的人，所以他们决定也喜欢我，而且睡在田野里也没关系，很抱歉打扰你了。
I was hired by one of the Friendly Man's executive producers.
我被《友善的人》的一位执行制片人聘用。
Her job was to wrangle and corral radio producers like myself from around the country into conducting interviews and writing scripts for stories that had been found by her flock of computer researchers, also from around the country.
她的工作是说服和召集像我这样来自全国各地的广播制作人进行采访，并为她的计算机研究人员（也来自全国各地）发现的故事编写剧本。
Some people are surprised to hear that the Friendly Man doesn't actually produce the stories he tells, but in reality he just doesn't have the time, what with the television show now and the specials and so on.
有些人很惊讶地听到友好的人实际上并没有制作他所讲的故事，但实际上他只是没有时间，现在有电视节目和特别节目等等。
It's not that he doesn't want to write his stories, not that he can't.
不是他不想写他的故事，也不是他不能。
It's just that he's really busy now, being the Friendly Man, and you shouldn't expect him to come up with all of his own material.
只是他现在真的很忙，作为友好的人，你不应该指望他能拿出他自己的所有材料。
The way it works is that the Friendly Man is in New York with maybe a couple of editors and an engineer.
它的运作方式是，友好的人在纽约，可能还有几个编辑和一名工程师。
And his executive producer is in San Francisco with fax machines and email.
他的执行制片人在旧金山，拥有传真机和电子邮件。
And the researchers are all over the place, looking for story ideas through computer searches.
研究人员遍布各地，通过计算机搜索寻找故事创意。
When the researcher finds what looks like an appropriate story, he calls the people in the story on the phone and talks to them for a while.
当研究人员找到看起来合适的故事时，他会给故事中的人物打电话并与他们交谈一会儿。
Then he writes out a story synopsis, which is sent to the Friendly Man for approval.
然后他写出一个故事梗概，发送给友好的人批准。
Once approved, the story goes to a producer and the producer is in charge of conducting, basically, the same interviews all over again, on tape this time, and then editing the tape and writing the script, which is reviewed by the executive producer in San Francisco and sent to the Friendly Man in New York City so he can read it on the air.
一旦获得批准，故事就会交给制片人，制片人负责再次进行基本上相同的采访，这次是在磁带上，然后编辑磁带并编写剧本，由旧金山的执行制片人审阅，然后发送给纽约市的友好人，以便他可以在广播中阅读。
The first story I produced for the Friendly Man was in Tucson, Arizona.
我为《友善的人》制作的第一个故事发生在亚利桑那州图森市。
It was about some people in Tucson who were helping to make America a better place.
这是关于图森的一些人正在帮助让美国变得更美好。
It doesn't really matter what the story was about.
故事讲的是什么并不重要。
What matters is that I had to do all the interviews over the phone.
重要的是我必须通过电话进行所有采访。
There wasn't enough money to send me to Tucson.
没有足够的钱送我去图森。
So I found an audio engineer in Tucson and had him go to the locations and hold a microphone up to the subjects while I talked to them on the phone.
因此，我在图森找到了一位音频工程师，让他前往拍摄地点，在我通过电话与他们交谈时将麦克风举到拍摄对象面前。
Then he sent me the tape, which I edited and then wrote the script without ever meeting the people I was writing about or the person I was writing for.
然后他把磁带发给我，我编辑了它，然后写了剧本，而没有见过我所写的人或我所写的人。
When I made a suggestion for changing the story, a change that I thought would make it better, the executive producer said that she would try not to get upset with me because this was my first story, and maybe I didn't understand my role.
当我提出改变故事的建议时，我认为这样的改变会让故事变得更好，执行制片人说她会尽量不生我的气，因为这是我的第一个故事，也许我不理解我的角色。
The story had been approved as written in the synopsis.
这个故事已经按照概要中的内容获得批准。
There were to be no changes, no additional narratives or discoveries.
不会有任何改变，没有额外的叙述或发现。
I was but the writer-producer, one of many cogs in the wheel.
我只是编剧兼制片人，是车轮上的众多齿轮之一。
I apologized and did the story as ordered.
我道歉并按照命令完成了这个故事。
After this first story, I asked the executive producer if I could go on the road, drive around and collect interviews, actually meet the people and see what they were doing, and then come back and produce the stories.
在第一个故事之后，我问执行制片人是否可以继续上路，开车四处收集采访，真正与人们见面，看看他们在做什么，然后回来制作故事。
She gave me four stories at a distance of 3,000 miles.
她在 3000 英里之外给我讲了四个故事。
They would pay the mileage but would give me nothing up front.
他们会支付里程费，但不会预先给我任何东西。
The food and lodging were to be my expenses, and so I was sleeping out.
食物和住宿都是我的开支，所以我就在外面过夜。
It was the first week of July and so warm at night you could sleep on the grass without a bag or a blanket.
那是七月的第一周，晚上很温暖，你可以睡在草地上，不带包或毯子。
At 11:00 AM, on the morning after the incident with the police, I was standing in the mayor's office on the top floor of the Kansas City, Missouri municipal building.
上午 11:00，即与警察发生事件的第二天早上，我站在密苏里州堪萨斯城市政大楼顶层的市长办公室。
It's a tall building, built on one of the highest hills in the area, so looking out of the window, I could see most of the city, buildings and railroad tracks and the river-- the Missouri River-- making a big ox-bow right through town.
这是一座很高的建筑，建在该地区最高的山丘之一上，所以从窗外望去，我可以看到城市的大部分地区、建筑物、铁轨和河流——密苏里河——形成一个巨大的牛弓穿过城镇。
We sat at a long wooden table, a conference table, in tall chairs.
我们坐在一张长木桌、一张会议桌和高高的椅子上。
Mayor Emanuel Cleaver, also a Methodist minister, a black mayor in a black town.
市长伊曼纽尔·克利弗（Emanuel Cleaver），也是卫理公会牧师，黑人小镇的黑人市长。
I'd come to ask him about his summertime midnight basketball program.
我来询问他夏季午夜篮球计划的情况。
The program, like all midnight basketball programs, was designed to reduce the crime rate by keeping juveniles off the street.
与所有午夜篮球项目一样，该项目旨在通过让青少年远离街头来降低犯罪率。
And, like with some of the other programs, the crime rate hadn't gotten any better except for the time that the kids were actually playing basketball.
而且，与其他一些项目一样，除了孩子们真正打篮球的时间外，犯罪率并没有任何改善。
Whenever there was a game going on, the crime rate in the neighborhood was lower.
每当有比赛进行时，附近的犯罪率就会降低。
The mayor's opponents were saying that the program was pork, that the $100,000 a year could be better spent somewhere else.
市长的反对者称该计划是猪肉，每年 10 万美元最好花在其他地方。
I asked the mayor about this, and he was adamant, even passionate, about the value of teaching kids to play basketball or any team sport.
我向市长询问了这个问题，他对于教孩子们打篮球或任何团队运动的价值非常坚定，甚至充满热情。
He said that team sports teach kids the best values, that they learn to cooperate and play by the rules.
他说，团队运动教会孩子们最好的价值观，让他们学会合作和遵守规则。
They learn to problem-solve through cooperation, and by playing, they learn to love the game, and through the love of the game, they learn to love themselves and each other.
他们学会通过合作解决问题，通过玩，他们学会热爱游戏，通过对游戏的热爱，他们学会爱自己和彼此。
He said that a few of the kids had gone to college on basketball scholarships, and this gave hope to everybody in the community, a community where hope was like a foreign language.
他说，有几个孩子靠篮球奖学金上了大学，这给社区里的每个人带来了希望，在这个社区里，希望就像一门外语。
And that alone was worth it, even a bargain at $100,000.
仅此一点就值得了，即使是 10 万美元的便宜货。
He said, "You go to the games.
他说：“你去看比赛。
It's mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers.
这是母亲、父亲、姐妹、兄弟。
You'll see the whole community there."
你会在那里看到整个社区。”
He was right.
他是对的。
Over on the east side, the poor side of town, there were games going on in a community center and the place was packed.
在东边，城镇的贫困地区，一个社区中心正在举办比赛，那里挤满了人。
And the games were good, little eight- and nine-year-olds passing the ball and making plays and running hard the whole game.
比赛很精彩，八九岁的小孩子们在整场比赛中传球、打球、努力奔跑。
They loved the game.
他们喜欢这个游戏。
I interviewed coaches, kids, and parents, and everything was going fine.
我采访了教练、孩子们和家长，一切都很顺利。
Things really were getting better and better in America.
美国的情况确实变得越来越好。
But then, just before I left, I was talking to a father about a son, and somebody-- I think probably a little kid-- took my three rechargeable batteries and a digital audiotape with the mayor's interview on it out of my bag and out of the building.
但就在我离开之前，我正在和一位父亲谈论一个儿子，有人——我想可能是个小孩子——从我的包里拿走了我的三块充电电池和一盘录有市长采访的数字录音带，并走出了大楼。
And they were gone.
然后他们就走了。
The batteries were worth $250 and could be replaced, but the interview with the mayor was lost for good.
电池价值 250 美元，可以更换，但对市长的采访却永远消失了。
Some little kid looked in my bag and these things were like eggs in a basket.
一些小孩查看了我的包，这些东西就像篮子里的鸡蛋。
Anyone older would've just taken the bag.
任何年纪大的人都会直接拿走这个包。
I walked around the neighborhood for a while, trying to figure out what to do.
我在附近走了一会儿，试图弄清楚该怎么做。
The next day was a Saturday and I doubted the mayor would be in his office, which would mean that I'd have to wait until Monday.
第二天是星期六，我怀疑市长是否会在他的办公室，这意味着我必须等到星期一。
But I had appointments for interviews Monday morning for another story in St. Louis, 300 miles to the east.
但周一早上我预约了采访，采访地点为东边 300 英里的圣路易斯。
And then there was the fact that I'd been robbed while doing a story about a program that reduces juvenile crime.
还有一个事实是，我在做一个关于减少青少年犯罪的项目的故事时被抢劫了。
The story, as it was written by the researcher in the synopsis, was all about how black people were improving their lives and making things better by playing basketball.
正如研究人员在概要中所写的那样，这个故事讲述的是黑人如何通过打篮球来改善他们的生活并让事情变得更好。
But the reality of the situation, at least the way I saw it, was that these people were poor, that they'd been poor for a long time, and that they were probably going to stay poor for a long time.
但现实情况是，至少在我看来，这些人很穷，他们已经穷了很长一段时间，而且他们很可能会长期穷下去。
So I called the executive producer and left her a message, saying that maybe she should consider scrapping the basketball story, and that I was going on to St. Louis and would call her from there.
所以我给执行制片人打电话，给她留言，说也许她应该考虑放弃篮球故事，我要去圣路易斯，会从那里给她打电话。
The story in St. Louis was also about poor black people, only in St. Louis it was about old poor black people, old poor black people who lived in a nursing home and had started their own private economy, wherein they'd get paid for helping each other out by washing clothes or cooking meals or even reading books and stories out loud at bedtime.
圣路易斯的故事也是关于贫穷的黑人的，只是在圣路易斯，它是关于老贫穷的黑人，住在疗养院并开始了自己的私营经济的老贫穷黑人，他们通过互相帮助洗衣服或做饭甚至在睡前大声读书和故事来获得报酬。
But they didn't get paid in real money.
但他们并没有得到真金白银的报酬。
They got paid in what they called time dollars, which could only be exchanged between themselves or cashed in at a special community store for food, clothing, and other necessary items.
他们的报酬是所谓的“时间币”，这些钱只能在他们之间兑换，或者在特殊的社区商店兑换成食物、衣服和其他必需品。
The old people liked the time dollar program.
老人们喜欢时间美元计划。
They were much happier than before they had the time dollar program.
他们比参加时间美元计划之前快乐多了。
At least this is what the researcher had written in the synopsis, and this is how things seemed for most of the morning I was there doing interviews.
至少这是研究人员在概要中写的，这就是我在那里进行采访的整个上午的大部分时间的情况。
My first interview was with the woman who'd set everything up.
我的第一次采访是与负责安排一切的女士进行的。
She was a well-educated upper-middle-class white lady who worked for a large charitable organization as a local manager of its programs.
她是一位受过良好教育的中上阶层白人女士，在一家大型慈善组织担任当地项目经理。
This woman was very nervous, and I couldn't tell if it was because she was just nervous being interviewed, or if she was nervous being surrounded by poor black people, or if she was just nervous by nature.
这个女人非常紧张，我不知道是因为她只是在接受采访时紧张，还是因为被可怜的黑人包围而紧张，或者她只是天生紧张。
I talked to her for a while, and then she introduced me to some women who actually participated in the time dollar program.
我和她聊了一会儿，然后她向我介绍了一些实际参加过时间美元计划的女性。
And they told me that they do things like call up old people around town and ask them if they feel OK, if they're sick or something.
他们告诉我，他们会打电话给镇上的老人，询问他们是否感觉良好，是否生病了等等。
Or they clean and dry a neighbor's clothes before he goes into the hospital, for cook for someone who has bad asthma.
或者，他们在邻居去医院之前清洗并烘干他的衣服，为患有严重哮喘的人做饭。
And then they could use the time dollars to buy stuff they needed.
然后他们可以用时间金钱来购买他们需要的东西。
They were friendly ladies, and it was just like it said in the synopsis-- neighbors helping neighbors and getting paid to do it.
她们都是友好的女士，就像剧情简介中所说的那样——邻居帮助邻居，并以此获得报酬。
So I asked them if we could go over and see the store, the place where they actually buy everything.
所以我问他们是否可以去看看商店，他们实际上在那里购买所有东西。
And they sort of hemmed and hawed about it, said there was a key and they'd have to get it.
他们支吾其词，说有一把钥匙，他们必须拿到它。
And then we were talking about grandchildren, arthritis, the weather in Mississippi.
然后我们谈论孙子、关节炎、密西西比州的天气。
I was wondering if maybe they didn't really want to go to the store, so I asked again, and they said it was a couple of blocks away and it was raining so hard.
我想知道他们是否真的不想去商店，所以我又问了一遍，他们说就在几个街区之外，而且雨下得很大。
I was a little worried at this point, because the store was in the synopsis and so there had to be some tape of the store in the story.
此时我有点担心，因为故事梗概中有这家商店，所以故事中必须有一些关于这家商店的磁带。
And so I explained my predicament to the women and begged them, as best I could, if we could go there.
因此，我向妇女们解释了我的困境，并尽我所能恳求她们我们是否可以去那里。
We borrowed some umbrellas and walked over to the building that housed the store.
我们借了一些雨伞，走到商店所在的大楼。
It was a one-story warehouse, brick and concrete, a few windows.
这是一座单层仓库，砖混结构，有几扇窗户。
Inside, we went down a hallway that separated two large rooms, each packed with desks and office people, stacks of paper, stacks of folders, desk fans, lots of desk lights, people typing on real typewriters, old adding machines.
在里面，我们沿着一条走廊走下去，走廊分隔了两个大房间，每个房间都挤满了桌子和办公室人员、成堆的文件、成堆的文件夹、台扇、大量的台灯，人们在真正的打字机上打字，老式的加法机。
It was very suspicious.
这很可疑。
One side looked like the Bulgarian foreign trade department, the other side like the Lithuanian shipping commission.
一侧像保加利亚外贸部门，另一侧像立陶宛航运委员会。
Down at the far, dark end of the hall was a large metal cabinet with two full length doors, closed by a padlock.
大厅最远、最黑暗的一端有一个大金属柜子，柜子里有两扇全长的门，用挂锁锁着。
One of the ladies opened the lock, and inside were four shelves.
一位女士打开锁，里面有四个架子。
The top held bottles of fabric softener.
顶部放着几瓶织物柔软剂。
The next was full of baby wipes.
接下来是满是婴儿湿巾。
Another had some paper plates and plastic silverware, and the bottom was full of bathroom deodorizer.
另一个有一些纸盘和塑料银器，底部装满了浴室除臭剂。
That was it.
就是这样。
That was the store.
那是那家商店。
I'd imagined something between a 7-Eleven and a thrift store, and I didn't understand.
我想象过介于 7-11 和旧货店之间的东西，但我不明白。
I didn't understand how any of this was working.
我不明白这一切是如何运作的。
I stood there and looked at the cabinet and the story disintegrated into baby wipes and picnic forks.
我站在那里，看着柜子，故事分解成婴儿湿巾和野餐叉。
I thanked the ladies and left the building and called the executive producer.
我感谢了女士们，然后离开了大楼，给执行制片人打电话。
I didn't want to tell her about the baby wipes and the fabric softener.
我不想告诉她婴儿湿巾和织物柔软剂的事。
There was no use in telling her that something was wrong, that maybe the whole story was a sham.
告诉她出事了，也许整个故事都是骗局，这是没有用的。
But I did want to ask her if it would be OK if I left the store out of the story, that maybe the story should be that these people just like helping each other, and that the time money thing wasn't so important.
但我确实想问她，如果我把商店排除在故事之外是否可以，也许故事应该是这些人只是喜欢互相帮助，而时间和金钱的事情并不那么重要。
But she never let me get to it.
但她从来不让我接触到它。
She was upset, very upset, about the message I'd left on her machine Friday night.
她对我周五晚上在她的机器上留下的信息感到非常不安。
It had ruined her whole weekend.
这毁了她整个周末。
She was distraught and nearly hysterical.
她心烦意乱，几乎歇斯底里。
Everyone was distraught and nearly hysterical, and it was my fault.
每个人都心烦意乱，几乎歇斯底里，这是我的错。
My fault to have taken my eyes off the equipment, my fault to have been robbed, my fault to have left town without completing the story assignment.
我的错是我把目光从设备上移开了，我的错是被抢劫了，我的错是在没有完成故事任务的情况下离开了城镇。
She said that I'd led her to believe that I was a professional, but no professional would ever behave in such a manner.
她说我让她相信我是专业人士，但没有专业人士会做出这样的行为。
She said this twice, the subtext being that the Friendly Man can only use professional producers, and that therefore I was fired unless maybe I went back to Kansas City to re-interview the mayor.
她说了两遍，潜台词是友好人只能使用专业制作人，因此我被解雇了，除非我回到堪萨斯城重新采访市长。
My job was to do what I was told, just as their job was to do what they were told, just as the Friendly Man's job was to do what he was told.
我的工作就是按照别人告诉我的去做，就像他们的工作就是按照别人告诉他们的去做一样，就像友善的人的工作就是按照他所说的去做一样。
Because the audience, the 12 million listeners, had something they wanted to be told-- that America is a good place with decent people, never mind the screaming coming from the basement.
因为观众，1200 万听众，有一些他们想被告知的事情——美国是一个有正派人民的好地方，别介意从地下室传来的尖叫声。
So I got in my car and drove 300 west to Kansas City.
于是我上了车，向西行驶 300 英里到达堪萨斯城。
I could have told them to go [BLEEP] themselves, but I didn't.
我本可以告诉他们自己去[BLEEP]，但我没有。
I went back, because I didn't want to be fired by the Friendly Man.
我回去了，因为我不想被友善的人解雇。
I'd been fired by other, less well-known friendly men, and it's always like being branded, scorned as the one who ran.
我被其他不太知名的友好人士解雇了，而这总是像被烙上烙印，被蔑视为竞选者。
I was tired of that, tired of being broke and not having any work.
我厌倦了这样，厌倦了破产和没有任何工作。
My wife, my family-- they were tired of it too.
我的妻子、我的家人——他们也厌倦了。
I decided that I wanted to be a professional.
我决定要成为一名专业人士。
I wanted to be a team player.
我想成为一名团队合作者。
I wanted to take responsibility for my life, my community and my country.
我想对我的生活、我的社区和我的国家负责。
I wanted to get ahead and go someplace with my career and be happy.
我想要出人头地，在事业上有所成就，并且感到快乐。
I drove back to Kansas City and got in late at night.
我开车回到堪萨斯城，并在深夜抵达。
I drove through the big buildings downtown, the streets lit yellow and vacant.
我开车穿过市中心的高楼大厦，街道亮着黄色灯光，空荡荡的。
I drove through the poor neighborhoods, the streets lit yellow and vacant.
我开车穿过贫穷的街区，街道亮着黄色，空荡荡的。
I drove along the parkways, past fountains and parks, and I drove past my grandmother's house and down to the Country Club Plaza, where I slept without a bag or a blanket on the lawn, on the long esplanade in front of the Nelson Art Museum.
我沿着公园大道行驶，经过喷泉和公园，经过祖母家，来到乡村俱乐部广场，在尼尔森艺术博物馆前的长长的滨海大道上，我睡在草坪上，没有包包，也没有毯子。
If I was to be bothered by the police, I would tell them that I am a radio producer working for the Friendly Man, and that I have a meeting with the mayor in the morning.
如果我被警察打扰，我会告诉他们我是一名为友好人工作的广播制作人，我早上要和市长开会。
Coming up, you can call me Ray or you can call me Jay, but I don't want to know my own name, thank you very much.
接下来，你可以叫我雷，也可以叫我杰伊，但我不想知道我自己的名字，非常感谢。
Amnesiac wannabe forgets to forget.
失忆的想要忘记的人忘记了。
Also, sixth-grader remembers to remember.
另外，六年级学生记得要记住。
More stories from Scott Carrier in a minute from Public Radio International when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续时，国际公共广播电台将提供斯科特·卡里尔的更多故事。
Well, it's This American Life.
嗯，这就是《美国生活》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our show, of course, we choose some theme, and bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，并为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's show, The Friendly Man, stories by Scott Carrier.
今天的节目《友好的人》是斯科特·卡里尔的故事。
We're devoting the full hour to Scott's stories because they're just great radio stories, and they sound great when you listen to them one after another.
我们把一小时的时间都花在斯科特的故事上，因为它们只是很棒的广播故事，当你一个接一个地听它们时，它们听起来很棒。
Each of these stories originally appeared on different episodes of our radio show, most of them back in the 1990s, actually.
这些故事最初都出现在我们广播节目的不同剧集中，实际上，其中大多数都出现在 20 世纪 90 年代。
And there's a point where I made a little collection of these on a CD, and I would duplicate copies and give them to friends now and then.
有一段时间，我把这些内容收集在一张 CD 上，我会复制副本，时不时地送给朋友。
And at some point, I realized, oh, this CD would be a really great hour on the radio.
在某个时刻，我意识到，哦，这张 CD 在广播中将是一个非常棒的时刻。
And so that's basically what we have today.
这基本上就是我们今天所拥有的。
Scott is just one of the great original voices working in radio.
斯科特只是广播界最伟大的原创声音之一。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, Who Am I?
第三幕，我是谁？
What Am I Doing Here?
我在这里做什么？
Sometimes all we want to do is forget.
有时我们想做的就是忘记。
All we want is amnesia.
我们想要的只是失忆症。
But of course, real amnesia happens a lot more on TV and in the movies than it does in real life.
当然，真正的失忆症在电视和电影中发生的次数比在现实生活中要多得多。
In the movies, people are constantly getting bonked on the head and forgetting who they are.
在电影中，人们不断地被撞击而忘记自己是谁。
And then they embark on a series of madcap adventures that teach them who they really are.
然后他们开始了一系列疯狂的冒险，教会他们真正是谁。
But does that happen, the amnesia part at least?
但至少失忆部分会发生这种情况吗？
Is there really such a thing as amnesia, and does it work like that?
真的有失忆症这回事吗？它真的有这样的作用吗？
Have you ever met a single person who's had amnesia?
你见过有失忆症的单身人士吗？
Well, a few years back, we at This American Life wanted to find out the answer to that.
几年前，我们《This American Life》想要找到这个问题的答案。
And Scott agreed to help.
斯科特同意提供帮助。
The idea was to find someone who had amnesia and ask them what it was like in real life.
我们的想法是找到一个患有失忆症的人，并询问他们现实生活中的情况是什么样的。
I was warned that it might be difficult to locate such a person, that the affliction may in reality be quite rare, but that there was at least one known amnesiac living in Tennessee, and another in Pennsylvania.
有人警告我，可能很难找到这样的人，这种痛苦实际上可能相当罕见，但至少有一名已知的健忘症患者住在田纳西州，另一名住在宾夕法尼亚州。
The particular cities and addresses could be found if necessary.
如有必要，可以找到特定的城市和地址。
"Nonsense," I said.
“胡说，”我说。
"I'm surrounded by amnesiacs.
“我周围都是失忆症患者。
This city breeds forgetfulness.
这座城市滋生了健忘。
There must be five or six amnesiacs in the neighborhood around my office alone." I accepted the offer, thinking it would be an easy assignment.
仅在我办公室附近，肯定有五六个失忆者。”我接受了这份工作，认为这将是一项容易的任务。
I began by asking everybody I saw if they had or had ever had amnesia.
我首先询问我见到的每个人是否患有或曾经患有健忘症。
I did this for three days, and I tried not to be selective, but to ask everybody with whom I came into contact, whether my wife or the checker at the grocery store, "Do you have or have you ever had amnesia?" And furthermore, I'd ask this each and every time I saw the person, sometimes two or three times a day.
我这样做了三天，我尽量不做选择性的事情，而是询问所有与我接触过的人，无论是我的妻子还是杂货店的收银员，“你是否患有或曾经患有健忘症？”而且，每次见到这个人我都会问这个问题，有时一天两三次。
No one admitted to currently having amnesia, but at least one in four remembered being knocked hard on the head and losing memory from a concussion.
没有人承认目前患有失忆症，但至少有四分之一的人记得被重击头部并因脑震荡而失去记忆。
This kind of amnesia lasts only a few minutes or a few hours, and concussion stories, I found out, are usually not worth listening to or worth telling.
这种失忆症只持续几分钟或几个小时，我发现，脑震荡的故事通常不值得听或不值得讲述。
They usually go something like this.
他们通常会做这样的事情。
"I was in a football game and two guys fell on my head.
“我正在观看一场足球比赛，两个人摔倒在我的头上。
I kept playing.
我继续玩。
I played the whole game and everything, but then after the game I had to get a ride home, because I didn't remember where I lived." I heard this story three times from the same person, and each time he told it to me in the same way with some difficulty, as if something had been taken from him and he didn't know what it was.
我打完了整场比赛，但比赛结束后我不得不搭车回家，因为我不记得自己住在哪里。”这个故事我从同一个人那里听了三遍，每次他都用同样的方式告诉我，但都有些困难，就好像有什么东西从他身上被夺走了，而他不知道那是什么。
Two people admitted to suffering from drug-induced amnesia.
两人承认患有药物引起的失忆症。
One had a drinking problem.
其中一人有酗酒问题。
The other was myself as, due to the fact that when I was 19, I ate a big psilocybin mushroom right off the ground in the mountains of Colombia, South America, and spent four or five hours where I didn't know my name, where I was, or why.
另一个是我自己，因为当我19岁的时候，我在南美洲哥伦比亚的山区吃了一个从地上挖出来的大裸盖菇素蘑菇，然后花了四五个小时，我不知道自己的名字，我在哪里，也不知道为什么。
I was hallucinating wildly, the sky exploding, the ground bubbling up under my feet.
我产生了疯狂的幻觉，天空爆炸，大地在我脚下冒泡。
The trees and bushes were throwing off little packets of flame and brightly colored orbs.
树木和灌木丛抛出小包火焰和色彩鲜艳的球体。
I wandered around and around in a cow pasture, holding my hands over my eyes, delirious.
我在牛牧场里转来转去，双手捂着眼睛，神志不清。
And then a man in a jeep picked me up and I thought he might be my father, and I thought I knew what he was saying, but I didn't know what language he was speaking.
然后一个开吉普车的男人接了我，我以为他可能是我的父亲，我以为我知道他在说什么，但我不知道他在说什么语言。
And we went to his house and watched a soccer game on television, while his wife, who I thought might be my mother, served us coffee from a metal tray.
我们去了他家，在电视上观看了一场足球比赛，而他的妻子（我认为她可能是我的母亲）用金属托盘为我们提供咖啡。
And then I was back out on the road, and I walked up to a park and sat down and drew a picture of myself in a notebook.
然后我又回到路上，走到一个公园，坐下来，在笔记本上画了一张自己的照片。
And below the picture I wrote these words: "I'm still here." If this gave me any insights into what amnesia is like-- real amnesia-- I don't remember what they are.
在照片下面我写下了这样的话：“我还在这里。”如果这让我对失忆症有任何了解——真正的失忆症——我不记得它们是什么了。
In three days, the closest I came to finding someone with amnesia was through a young woman who's the daughter of a friend of mine.
三天之内，我最接近找到失忆症患者的是通过一位年轻女子，她是我朋友的女儿。
She's a physical therapist and one of her patients had had her head smashed in a car accident.
她是一名物理治疗师，她的一名病人在一场车祸中头部被砸碎。
Her amnesia is kind of the opposite of what we normally think about.
她的失忆症与我们通常的想法相反。
She can remember things in the distant past just fine, but she doesn't seem to be able to remember what just happened or what she was just thinking or just where it was she was going.
她可以很好地记得遥远的过去的事情，但她似乎不记得刚刚发生了什么，或者她刚刚在想什么，或者她要去哪里。
So she can't, for instance, drive a car or even ride a bus.
例如，她不能开车，甚至不能乘坐公共汽车。
I asked my friend's daughter if I might be able to talk with this woman, and she said, "Well, I guess so, but you might have a better conversation with her dog."
我问朋友的女儿我是否可以和这个女人交谈，她说：“好吧，我想可以，但你可能可以和她的狗更好地交谈。”
I came back to my office feeling a little down.
我回到办公室，心情有些低落。
Finding an amnesiac was proving to be more difficult than expected.
事实证明，寻找失忆症患者比预想的要困难。
I decided to seek professional help.
我决定寻求专业帮助。
I got up out of my chair and walked across the hallway and knocked on the door of Dr. Jeff Harris, psychologist.
我从椅子上站起来，穿过走廊，敲响了心理学家杰夫·哈里斯博士的门。
I think there was a guy that went through it when I was in Vietnam, who ended up in serious action.
我想我在越南的时候有一个人经历过这一切，他最终采取了严肃的行动。
And he ended up going from one APC to the next.
他最终从一辆装甲车换到另一辆。
Each one got blown up as he was getting in, or-- I don't know exactly how he survived the whole thing, but we're talking about a platoon basically getting wiped out, he being one of the few survivors.
每个人在进入时都被炸毁了，或者——我不知道他是如何在整个事件中幸存下来的，但我们谈论的是一个排基本上被消灭了，他是少数幸存者之一。
And he couldn't remember.
他不记得了。
He couldn't remember his past.
他记不起自己的过去了。
He couldn't remember where he was going.
他不记得自己要去哪里。
And that's the classical Freudian theory of repression.
这就是经典的弗洛伊德压抑理论。
We don't remember things that make us feel guilty, or feel pain.
我们不记得那些让我们感到内疚或痛苦的事情。
All right.
好的。
Well, let me ask you this.
好吧，让我问你这个。
Say I have the ability to make you have amnesia.
说我有能力让你失忆。
If I flip this switch, you won't remember your name.
如果我打开这个开关，你就不会记得你的名字。
You won't remember who you are.
你不会记得你是谁。
What do you think?
你怎么认为？
What do I think?
我觉得怎么样？
Scott Carrier Yeah, would you do it or not?
斯科特·卡里尔 是的，你会做还是不做？
Would you?
你愿意吗？
Scott Carrier I would want to do it because then I think that I would lose my ego.
斯科特·卡里尔（Scott Carrier） 我想这么做，因为那样我就会失去自我。
I would lose this-- I would have a clean slate, sort of thing.
我会失去这个——我会拥有一个干净的石板之类的东西。
It would-- if all of a sudden you sat here and you couldn't remember why you're holding this microphone or who I am or why you're talking to me, to say it was disorienting would be too mild.
如果你突然坐在这里，记不起你为什么拿着这个麦克风，或者我是谁，或者你为什么要跟我说话，说它让人迷失方向就太温和了。
I think I would be smart enough to realize, this is a gift.
我想我会足够聪明地意识到，这是一份礼物。
I mean, there's two choices.
我的意思是，有两个选择。
Either you realize that it's a gift, or you completely freak out.
要么你意识到这是一份礼物，要么你完全吓坏了。
One or the other.
一个或另一个。
You're talking as if you wake up in the morning, you don't know where you are, who you are, where in the hell you're going, and you're happy with it?
你说得好像你早上醒来，你不知道你在哪里，你是谁，你到底要去哪里，你对此感到满意吗？
Give me a [BLEEP] break.
让我[BLEEP]休息一下。
That still seems attractive to me.
这对我来说仍然很有吸引力。
It still seems like it might be a good thing, to be put in a situation where I have to admit that I'm completely lost.
处于我不得不承认我完全迷失的境地似乎仍然是一件好事。
It seems like--
看起来就像——
After five days, having found no one who had, or had had amnesia, I decided to visit a hypnotherapist, Diane Bradshaw, and ask her if she could give me amnesia.
五天后，发现没有人患有失忆症，或者曾经患有失忆症，我决定拜访催眠治疗师黛安·布拉德肖（Diane Bradshaw），并询问她是否可以让我失忆。
She said she probably could do it, as long as I was willing to be put under hypnosis.
她说她也许可以做到，只要我愿意被催眠。
She said some people just weren't willing.
她说有些人就是不愿意。
And if you're open to the possibility that, say, amnesia would be OK for five minutes, or one minute, it might happen.
如果你愿意接受这样一种可能性，比如说，健忘症五分钟或一分钟是可以的，那么这种情况就可能发生。
Well, I'm open to even a day, if that-- would that be a bad idea?
好吧，我什至愿意一天，如果那样——那会是一个坏主意吗？
What do you really want here?
你在这里真正想要什么？
Do you want to get that extreme?
你想变得那么极端吗？
Well, let's say a few hours, anyway.
好吧，无论如何，就说几个小时吧。
Do you think-- what do you think?
你觉得——你觉得怎么样？
Because he's going to have to hang out with me.
因为他要和我一起出去玩。
You know what I think?
你知道我怎么想吗？
Trent Harris I think an hour--
特伦特·哈里斯 我想一个小时——
I think if you had a half-hour of amnesia, you would get it pretty quick.
我想如果你有半个小时的失忆症，你很快就会恢复的。
I think a half-hour would probably be plenty of time.
我想半个小时应该足够了。
And then I have to ask you, what do you want to forget?
然后我必须问你，你想忘记什么？
I mean, I can do anything from giving you a suggestion to forget your name, to forget where you live, to-- what do you want to forget?
我的意思是，我可以做任何事情，从建议你忘记你的名字，忘记你住在哪里，到——你想忘记什么？
Is it possible to forget everything?
有可能忘记一切吗？
My whole self-identity?
我的整个自我认同？
Is that too much?
是不是太多了？
Well, I-- Scott Carrier She took notes on what I wanted to forget.
好吧，我——斯科特·卡里尔（Scott Carrier）她记下了我想忘记的事情。
Then she hypnotized me, which involved having me count backwards from 100, and telling me to relax, deeper and deeper, and then having me imagine being in a big garden with a stream running through it.
然后她催眠了我，让我从 100 开始倒数，告诉我要放松，越来越深，然后让我想象自己身处一个大花园里，有一条小溪从中流过。
And she said, if I drank from the stream, I'd forget my name and where I was, and also the name of my friend who'd come with me.
她说，如果我喝了小溪里的水，我就会忘记我的名字和我在哪里，也会忘记和我一起来的朋友的名字。
So I went and drank from the stream and she woke me up.
于是我去喝了小溪里的水，她把我叫醒了。
--five, open your eyes, all the way back, emerging from hypnosis.
——五、睁开眼睛，一路回来，从催眠中苏醒。
All the way back.
一路回来。
Hi, there.
你好呀。
Good.
好的。
Diane Bradshaw Feels pretty good, doesn't it?
黛安·布拉德肖 感觉很好，不是吗？
And what is it you can remember?
你能记住什么？
What town do you live in?
你住在哪个城镇？
Salt Lake.
盐湖。
Sorry.
对不起。
Diane Bradshaw And what have you been doing today?
黛安·布拉德肖 你今天做了什么？
Uh.
呃。
Working on this story.
致力于这个故事。
Diane Bradshaw Uh huh.
黛安·布拉德肖 嗯嗯。
And what's his name over here.
他在这里叫什么名字？
Trent Harris.
特伦特·哈里斯。
I'm sorry, man.
对不起，伙计。
I tried.
我试过。
I did.
我做到了。
I tried.
我试过。
The next day, I typed "amnesia" into a search engine on the World Wide Web, and got a phone number for the Beckman Institute, a neuroscience center at the University of Illinois.
第二天，我在万维网上的搜索引擎中输入“失忆症”，得到了伊利诺伊大学神经科学中心贝克曼研究所的电话号码。
I called up and talked to Rob Althoff, a graduate student, and he told me that the kind of amnesia I was looking for was, indeed, very rare, and that there's some disagreement over whether it even happens at all.
我打电话给研究生罗布·阿尔索夫（Rob Althoff），他告诉我，我所寻找的那种失忆症确实非常罕见，而且对于这种情况是否会发生，人们存在一些分歧。
He said people do suffer long-term memory loss from severe brain injuries, but that usually these people never recover their memories, that the brain doesn't regenerate.
他说，人们确实会因严重的脑损伤而遭受长期记忆丧失，但通常这些人永远不会恢复记忆，大脑不会再生。
And he said that the other kind of amnesia, where there's no physical trauma, is often a matter of the person not wanting to remember, for one psychological reason or another, and that in these cases it's really difficult to know whether the person is, basically, just faking it.
他说，另一种失忆症，没有身体创伤，通常是一个人出于某种心理原因不想记住的问题，在这些情况下，很难知道这个人基本上是否只是在假装。
Talking to Althoff made me wonder if amnesia, the kind we see on TV and in the movies, where a character gets hit on the head with a coconut, loses his self-identity, then spends the rest of the story rediscovering it or getting bonked on the head by another coconut-- whether this is really just a story that we want to be true.
与阿尔托夫的交谈让我想知道，我们在电视和电影中看到的那种失忆症，即一个角色被椰子击中头部，失去了他的自我认同，然后在故事的其余部分重新发现它，或者被另一个椰子敲击头部——这是否真的只是一个我们想要真实的故事。
Everyone loves the idea of a second chance, of starting over without the burden of the past.
每个人都喜欢第二次机会的想法，喜欢在没有过去负担的情况下重新开始的想法。
I think that's why amnesia is in so many movies and TV shows and romance novels.
我认为这就是为什么健忘症出现在这么多电影、电视节目和言情小说中的原因。
We somehow want to believe in it.
我们以某种方式想要相信它。
[MUSIC -- "DON'T FORGET ME" BY MARIANNE FAITHFULL]
[音乐——玛丽安·费斯富尔的《别忘记我》]
Act Four, The Day Mom and Dad Fell in Love.
第四幕，爸爸妈妈坠入爱河的那一天。
I think you were working an antelope story and Mom was doing filming or something.
我想你正在写一个羚羊的故事，而妈妈正在拍电影什么的。
You met each other and then you liked each other.
你们认识了对方，然后就互相喜欢了。
And then you married each other.
然后你们就结婚了。
I remember sitting on my front steps in the morning, waiting for her to ride up the hill on her bicycle.
我记得早上我坐在门前的台阶上，等着她骑自行车上山。
It was in the spring, late April, and it had been raining, steam coming up off the street and sidewalks.
那是在春天，四月底，一直在下雨，街道和人行道上冒着蒸汽。
I was waiting on the steps and I realized that I was in love with her, and that everything was going to be different now.
我在台阶上等着，我意识到我爱上了她，现在一切都会不同了。
She'd ride up the hill and set her bike down on the grass.
她会骑上山，然后把自行车停在草地上。
And we'd go inside, and she'd live with me there for a long time, maybe forever.
我们会进去，她会和我一起住在那里很长一段时间，也许永远。
I knew it.
我就知道。
I saw the whole thing coming, just like I see everything now.
我看到了整个事情的发生，就像我现在看到了一切一样。
The only thing missing is the ending.
唯一缺少的是结局。
I remember lots of times you were nice to mom.
我记得很多时候你对妈妈很好。
She told me once that for her birthday or for Christmas or something, you bought her perfume and you wanted to get her the right one.
她曾经告诉我，为了她的生日或圣诞节或其他什么，你给她买了香水，你想给她买一款合适的。
And so you went around and you had a sample of each, and you were smelling it.
所以你四处走动，拿到了每一种的样本，然后闻了闻。
And you were deciding but you couldn't decide which one to give her.
你正在决定，但无法决定给她哪一个。
And then when you came home, you hugged her.
然后当你回到家时，你拥抱了她。
My house inside had no furniture, other than two chairs and a table.
我的房子里面除了两把椅子和一张桌子外没有任何家具。
I made some coffee and moved the table over by the window so she could sit in the sun.
我煮了一些咖啡，把桌子移到窗边，这样她就可以坐在阳光下。
She was a modern dancer, small and thin, wearing a white cotton blouse.
她是一位现代舞者，身材娇小，瘦削，穿着白色棉质衬衫。
No bra, no need for a bra, shorts and sandals and sweating a bit from the ride.
没有胸罩，不需要胸罩，短裤和凉鞋，骑行时有点出汗。
Her skin was dark tanned already, so early.
这么早，她的皮肤就已经晒黑了。
Lovely legs but with lots of scars on the knees and shins, and feet that were like little creatures unto themselves, beautiful and frightening.
腿很可爱，但膝盖和小腿上有很多伤疤，脚本身就像小生物一样，美丽而可怕。
They had the structure of the Golden Gate Bridge, a high sinewy arch with built-in springs and pulleys and long toes stretching out for purchase.
它们具有金门大桥的结构，一个高而有力的拱门，内置弹簧和滑轮，还有长长的脚趾可供购买。
Do you feel like anything's a mystery between Hillary and me that you don't understand?
你觉得我和希拉里之间有什么事情是你不明白的吗？
This week, when I ask our 11-year-old daughter Jessie this question.
本周，当我问我们 11 岁的女儿杰西这个问题时。
she pauses for at least a half a minute.
她停顿了至少半分钟。
I've asked maybe a million questions in my reporting career, but this has got to be the longest pause I've ever heard.
在我的报道生涯中，我可能问过一百万个问题，但这一定是我听过的最长的停顿。
I don't really think about it much.
我真的没有想太多。
And I-- it's-- it's a hard thing to think about.
我——这是——这是一件很难想象的事情。
Why?
为什么？
Jessie Carrier Because it's-- I usually don't pay much attention to what you and Mom are doing between each other.
杰西·卡里尔：因为——我通常不太注意你和妈妈之间所做的事情。
Well, kind of, I do.
嗯，有点，我愿意。
And I don't really wonder anything.
我真的不奇怪什么。
I don't think that there's something that I don't know that I really want to know, like a mystery or anything.
我不认为有什么我不知道但我真正想知道的事情，比如神秘之类的。
I'd seen her dance the night before in front of a small audience downtown, and her style was wrapped around the idea-- her idea-- that she really weighed nothing at all, and that her body was only there to tell little jokes-- her little jokes, whatever might come to mind.
前一天晚上我看到她在市中心的一小群观众面前跳舞，她的风格围绕着这样一个想法——她的想法——她真的没有体重，她的身体只是在那里讲一些小笑话——她的小笑话，无论你想到什么。
I asked her if she liked my house, and she said she liked the view.
我问她是否喜欢我的房子，她说她喜欢这里的景色。
She asked me what I thought about her concert, and I said I thought it was funny.
她问我对她的演唱会有何看法，我说我觉得很有趣。
She said, "Funny?
她说：“有趣吗？
Only funny?" "Funny and beautiful," I said.
只是搞笑吗？” “有趣又美丽，”我说。
And she said, "That's better."
她说：“这样好多了。”
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, you-- I know because you sometimes have fights.
我的意思是，你——我知道，因为你们有时会打架。
I think people who love each other have to have fights sometimes.
我觉得相爱的人有时难免会吵架。
Otherwise they don't understand each other very well.
否则他们就不能很好地理解对方。
Not everybody is exactly the same, and so people might disagree about something.
并非每个人都完全相同，因此人们可能会对某些事情产生分歧。
But two people who love each other have to understand each other, and to understand each other, they have to know what they're thinking.
但两个相爱的人必须互相理解，而要互相理解，就必须知道对方在想什么。
Up until this time, I'd been living alone and was not unhappy.
直到此时，我一直一个人生活，过得并不快乐。
I had a house and a dog and a car, no job, no need for a job.
我有房子、狗和汽车，没有工作，不需要工作。
I had money from the National Endowment for the Arts to produce a radio story about chasing antelope, which, as far as I could tell, only required a wholehearted effort to live as much like a primitive hunter as possible.
我从国家艺术基金会得到了资金，制作了一个关于追逐羚羊的广播故事，据我所知，只需要全心全意地努力，尽可能像原始猎人一样生活。
It was a problem I was working on by myself, and really I had no idea how to go about it, other than by trying to live simply and by trying to stay outside and cover as much ground as possible.
这是我自己正在解决的一个问题，实际上我不知道如何解决它，除了尝试简单地生活并尝试留在外面并尽可能多地覆盖之外。
But there she was, finally arrived, come to stay.
但她终于来了，留下来了。
When you get married-- have you ever thought about getting married?
当你结婚的时候——你有没有想过结婚？
Not really.
并不真地。
Not much.
不多。
Scott Carrier Maybe a little bit?
斯科特·开利 也许有一点？
I don't know.
我不知道。
I mean, I don't believe we can ever guess the future or-- I can hope, but I don't like saying what I want to be when I grow up.
我的意思是，我不相信我们能够猜测未来，或者——我可以希望，但我不喜欢说我长大后想做什么。
Because you never know.
因为你永远不知道。
She asked me why I only had one fork in the kitchen.
她问我为什么厨房里只有一把叉子。
I said it was all I needed, and then asked her how many she had in her kitchen.
我说这就是我所需要的，然后问她厨房里有多少。
"Eight," she said, "and at least 10 spoons.
“八个，”她说，“至少十个勺子。
And I have some glasses, different kinds, even wine glasses.
我有一些不同种类的杯子，甚至还有酒杯。
I like to have friends over.
我喜欢有朋友过来。
I like to cook and have friends over to eat.
我喜欢做饭，也喜欢请朋友来吃饭。
Don't you have any friends?"
你没有朋友吗？”
"Yeah, I have a friend, but he doesn't have any hands," I said, looking over at my dog.
“是的，我有一个朋友，但他没有手，”我说，看着我的狗。
"You know," she said.
“你知道，”她说。
"I've been dreaming about you.
“我一直梦见你。
I think I'm in love with you."
我想我爱上你了。”
She doesn't wish-- I mean, she doesn't say it as that she regrets that she married you or that maybe not having a job sometimes.
她不希望——我的意思是，她这么说并不是因为她后悔嫁给了你，或者有时可能没有工作。
And so she still appreciates what she has.
所以她仍然很珍惜自己所拥有的。
When you get married, if your marriage turns out like our marriage, between your mom and me, would that be good enough for you or would you want more than that?
当你结婚时，如果你的婚姻像我们的婚姻一样，是你妈妈和我之间的，这对你来说足够好还是你想要更多？
I think it would be fine.
我想这样就可以了。
I mean, you guys seem pretty happy.
我的意思是，你们看起来很高兴。
And I think that if my marriage, if I got married, was like yours, I would be pretty happy too.
我想，如果我的婚姻，如果我结婚了，像你一样，我也会很幸福。
And I think I would try to make a little more money.
我想我会尝试多赚一点钱。
But otherwise, getting along like that, I think that would be a good marriage.
但除此之外，像这样相处，我想这就是一段美好的婚姻。
Jessie Carrier was 11 when that story was recorded.
录制这个故事时，杰西·卡里尔 (Jessie Carrier) 11 岁。
It was a long time ago, though.
不过那是很久以前的事了。
She's going to be graduating from college in a couple weeks.
几周后她就要从大学毕业了。
Scott Carrier is working on a new book, Prisoner of Zion, and he's looking for a publisher for that.
斯科特·卡里尔正在写一本新书《锡安的囚徒》，他正在为此寻找出版商。
He's been teaching lately in the Communication department at Utah Valley University.
他最近在犹他谷大学传播系任教。
The stories that you've heard this hour are collected in a book with some other stories.
您这一小时听到的故事与其他一些故事一起收集在一本书中。
The book is called Running After Antelope.
这本书的名字叫《追羚羊》。
And you can hear Scott's very first radio story, the one that I talked about at the beginning of the program, with the people who he met while hitchhiking across the country, at transom.org.
你可以在 transom.org 上听到斯科特的第一个广播故事，我在节目开始时谈到的那个故事，讲述的是他在全国范围内搭便车时遇到的人。
All of the Scott Carrier stories in today's program were originally produced by at Alix Spiegel.
今天节目中所有关于斯科特·卡里尔的故事最初都是由阿利克斯·斯皮格尔制作的。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] And thanks to everybody who came out this past week to our live cinema event in 430 movie theaters across the country.
[资金来源] 感谢上周前来参加我们在全国 430 家电影院举办的现场电影活动的所有人。
In case you missed it, you get one more chance.
万一你错过了，你还有一次机会。
There's going to be an encore presentation in movie theaters everywhere, Thursday, May 7.
5 月 7 日星期四，各地电影院都会有一场安可演出。
More information at our website, www.thisamericanlife.org.
更多信息请访问我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org。
WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia, who explains his recent management decisions this way.
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的项目进行 WBEZ 管理监督，他这样解释了他最近的管理决策。
I was in a football game and two guys fell on my head.
我正在观看一场足球比赛，两个人摔倒在我的头上。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。