13: Love - This American Life
You are using an outdated browser.
您正在使用过时的浏览器。
Please upgrade your browser or activate Google Chrome Frame to improve your experience.
请升级您的浏览器或激活 Google Chrome 浏览器内嵌框架以改善您的体验。
Sign up for a free Life Partners trial, and you can watch the video “A Night of Stories and Improv.”
注册免费试用《Life Partners》，您可以观看视频“故事与即兴表演之夜”。
00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #13 | February 7, 1996 13: Love Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 13 集 | 1996 年 2 月 7 日 13：爱情笔记：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass This is Ira Glass, host of Your Radio Playhouse , and starting this week, WBEZ is moving the program that usually begins right at this time, Selected Shorts , to Friday nights at 8 o'clock.
序言 Ira Glass 我是 Ira Glass，Your Radio Playhouse 的主持人，从本周开始，WBEZ 将把通常在这个时间开始的节目 Selected Shorts 移至周五晚上 8 点。
So if you want hear Selected Shorts tune in on Fridays at 8:00.
因此，如果您想收听精选短片，请在周五 8:00 收听。
And WBEZ is rebroadcasting my Friday night program, Your Radio Playhouse , right here, right now after Prairie Home Companion .
WBEZ 正在重播我的周五晚间节目《你的广播剧场》，就在《Prairie Home Companion》之后，就在这里。
And there's a little radio programming experiment.
还有一个小小的无线电编程实验。
The idea is that since my program is radio storytelling plus music, it has some things in common with Prairie Home Companion , and might be the kind of thing that Garrison Keillor fans would enjoy.
我的想法是，由于我的节目是广播故事加音乐，因此它与 Prairie Home Companion 有一些共同点，并且可能是 Garrison Keillor 粉丝会喜欢的东西。
WBEZ is going to try this out for a few months and WBEZ management welcomes your thoughts and reactions to this programming idea.
WBEZ 将尝试几个月，WBEZ 管理层欢迎您对此编程想法的想法和反应。
Your Radio Playhouse has been on the radio on Friday nights now for several months, and if you haven't heard it, the stories are told in a wide variety of styles by a wide variety of writers and performers.
您的广播剧团已经在周五晚上在广播中播出了几个月，如果您还没有听过，那么这里的故事是由各种各样的作家和表演者以各种各样的风格讲述的。
And some of the program just happens right here in the radio studio.
有些节目就发生在广播演播室里。
For example, this week's program is about love.
例如，本周的节目是关于爱情的。
It's for the week of Valentine's Day.
这是情人节那一周。
And we begin with this cassette-- I have it here-- that a friend sent me for the Valentine's Day holiday.
我们从这盘磁带开始——我这里有——是一个朋友在情人节假期送给我的。
This is "A Guided Meditation For Singles" presented by Frayda Kafka.
这是弗蕾达·卡夫卡（Frayda Kafka）提出的“单身冥想引导”。
And normally, if you're going to make something like this up, you actually would give the person-- you'd make up a name like Frayda Kafka.
通常情况下，如果你要编造这样的东西，你实际上会给这个人起一个名字，比如弗蕾达·卡夫卡(Frayda Kafka)。
But I'm afraid this all too real.
但恐怕这一切都太真实了。
Frayda Kafka, produced by something called Conscious Singles Connection Incorporated, copyright 1994.
Frayda Kafka，由 Conscious Singles Connection Incorporated 制作，版权所有 1994 年。
And this cassette has lots of ideas for things that singles-- conscious singles, presumably-- can do so they don't feel bad on holidays like Valentine's Day.
这盘磁带里有很多关于单身人士（大概是有意识的单身人士）可以做的事情的想法，这样他们就不会在情人节这样的假期感到难过。
You know, you can give yourself a very special day alone if that's what you're going to do with your holiday.
你知道，如果你打算在假期里度过一个非常特别的日子，你可以给自己一个单独的日子。
You can prepare for it, actually prepare in advance.
你可以做好准备，实际上是提前准备。
You can buy flowers for yourself.
你可以给自己买花。
You can light candles.
你可以点蜡烛。
You can plan a special ritual, a special meal just for you.
您可以为您计划一个特别的仪式、一顿特别的饭菜。
You can even write yourself letters about it, poems.
你甚至可以给自己写一封关于它的信、诗。
You can listen to very wonderful music on that day.
那天你可以听到非常美妙的音乐。
Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it's Your Radio Playhouse .
嗯，来自芝加哥 WBEZ，它是 Your Radio Playhouse。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
And you know, you didn't have to prepare in advance for this hour.
而且您知道，您不必为此时间提前做好准备。
We have prepared the whole thing for you.
我们已经为您准备好了一切。
We have set the table.
我们已经摆好了桌子。
We've lit the candles.
我们已经点燃蜡烛了。
It's all set.
一切都准备好了。
Oh, conscious singles.
哦，有意识的单身人士。
And couples, you couples who are sensitive to your consciously single friends.
还有情侣，你们对自觉单身的朋友很敏感的情侣。
A very special hour for you, so stay with us.
对您来说这是一个非常特别的时刻，所以请留在我们这里。
What's amazing about this tape to me is its utter lack of modesty about what it promises.
对我来说，这盘磁带的惊人之处在于它对它的承诺完全不谦虚。
It doesn't just promise to make you feel a little better about being single, it is categorical.
它不仅能让你对单身感觉好一点，而且是一种分类。
It promises complete spiritual and emotional peace.
它保证了精神和情感上的完全平静。
When you're done listening to this cassette it says, "You will be at peace with being single.
当你听完这盘磁带时，它会说：“你将平静地接受单身。
You will feel happy.
你会感到快乐。
You will feel fulfilled."
你会感到很满足。”
And you know you can do it by simply relaxing.
而且您知道只需放松即可做到这一点。
You know what could be easier?
你知道什么可以更容易吗？
What could be easier?
还有什么可以更容易呢？
All you need to do is pay attention to your breath.
您所需要做的就是注意您的呼吸。
This isn't-- I don't know, it's not working for me.
这不是——我不知道，它对我不起作用。
Are you breathing there at home?
你在家里呼吸吗？
Are you?
你是？
If you're in your car, are you breathing right now?
如果你在车里，你现在有呼吸吗？
And is it happening, are you finding peace?
它发生了吗？你找到平安了吗？
She also says this sentence, which I love.
她也说过这句话，我很喜欢。
And the rest is up to me.
剩下的就由我决定了。
Ira Glass That is a sentence you never hear in the English language.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 这是你在英语中从未听到过的一句话。
Usually when people get into the construction and the rest is up to-- that's a pretty common construction in school, in sales situations, over the TV.
通常，当人们开始构建时，剩下的就取决于——这在学校、销售场合、电视上是很常见的构建方式。
You hear that a lot and people never go into the construction, and the rest is up to-- and end up with me.
你听说过很多次，但人们从不参与建设，剩下的就取决于我了。
No, it's always you.
不，永远是你。
And the rest is up to me.
剩下的就由我决定了。
Ira Glass She also says this other thing that I find mesmerizing, but incomprehensible.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）她还说了另一件事，令我着迷，但又难以理解。
And it's this--
就是这个——
What is that about?
那是关于什么的？
You know, she's in the tape business.
你知道，她从事磁带行业。
It's not like a video thing, it's a cassette with sound.
它不像视频，而是有声音的磁带。
If at the beginning of our radio show we would say to you, hi, we've been working really hard to prepare a really good show for you.
如果在我们的广播节目开始时我们会对您说，嗨，我们一直在努力为您准备一个非常好的节目。
And there's one other thing you've got to know--
还有一件事你必须知道——
Unless it was some sort of reverse psychology thing.
除非是某种逆反心理。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
We've used all the promotional tactics we could think of and now we're doing reverse psychology.
我们已经使用了所有我们能想到的促销策略，现在我们正在做逆反心理。
We're doing reverse psychology and what we're saying is--
我们正在做逆反心理学，我们所说的是——
Yeah, that will be the day.
是的，那一天就会到来。
So side one of the tape is a kind of warm-up to the actual meditation, and side two is the guided meditation itself.
因此，磁带的第一面是对实际冥想的一种热身，第二面是引导冥想本身。
And she has us relax, breathe deeply, which we have all been practicing earlier in the show.
她让我们放松，深呼吸，这是我们在节目早期都练习过的。
And then she says, pretend you're having a dream.
然后她说，假装你在做梦。
And the dream she has us pretend is astonishingly banal.
她让我们假装做的梦极其平庸。
You pretend we're floating among clouds.
你假装我们漂浮在云端。
And you can let that cloud carry you, spiraling up over the roof.
你可以让那朵云带着你，在屋顶上盘旋上升。
Floating over the trees.
漂浮在树上。
Way up over the mountains.
翻过山的路。
If you had to pay for dreams, this is one you wouldn't even rent.
如果你必须为梦想付出代价，你甚至不会租这个。
You wouldn't even rent this one at the video store.
你甚至不会在音像店租这个。
So you float in the dream, and of course because all the elements have to be involved, there's air and there's clouds, and you float passed the mountain.
所以你漂浮在梦中，当然，因为所有元素都必须参与其中，有空气，有云，你漂浮穿过山。
And then you come, of course, to a river.
然后你当然来到了一条河边。
And this is where she gets to the heart of the matter.
这就是她触及问题核心的地方。
Remember the promise of the tape is that she is going to make you feel good about your singlehood, and at peace with it.
请记住，磁带的承诺是她会让你对自己的单身感觉良好，并平静地接受它。
And how does she do it?
她是怎么做到的？
It's really fascinating.
这真的很令人着迷。
She does it by having you imagine the person who you're meant to be with.
她通过让你想象你注定要在一起的人来做到这一点。
This person understands you and loves you and knows exactly what to say to you.
这个人理解你，爱你，并且确切地知道该对你说什么。
In other words, the whole way that you're going to come to peace with your singlehood is you just envision the day when you're not single.
换句话说，你要与单身和平相处的整个方法就是想象你不再单身的那一天。
That seems like kind of a cheat to me.
这对我来说似乎是一种欺骗。
That isn't being at peace with singlehood.
这并不是与单身和平相处。
That's simply believing that your singlehood is a temporarily delayed state that will lead to couplehood.
这只是相信你的单身是一种暂时延迟的状态，最终会导致情侣。
This person can be male or female.
这个人可以是男性或女性。
It may not even really be a person.
它甚至可能不是一个真正的人。
What is that about?
那是关于什么的？
What is the bet that she's hedging there?
她在那里对冲的赌注是什么？
Like, you know, who is she trying not to offend?
就像，你知道，她不想冒犯谁？
Like, OK, we've got the people who are involved with the males.
就像，好吧，我们有与男性有关的人。
We've got the people involved with the females.
我们已经找到了与女性有关的人。
And then, we just want to be sure like we get everybody in, the people who are involved with-- what, a horse?
然后，我们只是想确保让每个人都参与进来，参与其中的人——什么，一匹马？
And this person will come as close to you as you wish.
这个人会如你所愿地接近你。
And touch you in any way that feels good for you.
并以任何让你感觉良好的方式触摸你。
Take your time now and let yourself feel the way you'd like to be touched.
现在慢慢来，让自己感受一下你想要被触摸的方式。
You might like just a touch on the shoulder, or an arm around you.
您可能只是喜欢肩膀上的触碰，或者手臂环绕您。
You might like a hand on your forehead.
您可能喜欢一只手放在额头上。
Or maybe you'd like to be held or rocked.
或者也许您想要被抱着或摇晃。
You can have whatever you want from this person.
你可以从这个人那里得到你想要的任何东西。
At this point in the tape, I have to say-- for me, anyway-- it kind of starts to work on me.
在磁带的这一点上，我不得不说——无论如何，对我来说——它开始对我起作用了。
I start to think, like yes, I do want this person who's going to hold me and be the person who totally understands me.
我开始想，是的，我确实想要这个人能够拥抱我并成为完全理解我的人。
This person is here for you from your future.
这个人从你的未来就在这里等你。
And one of the things that's interesting to me about this is not just that it's so effective, but that it's such a lie.
我对此感兴趣的事情之一不仅在于它如此有效，而且在于它是一个谎言。
I mean, if you've ever been in an actual relationship, no human being who you're going to be with is going to be there to touch you the way you want to be touched every time, and talk to you the way you want to be talked to every time.
我的意思是，如果你曾经有过一段真正的关系，那么与你在一起的人不会每次都以你想要的方式触碰你，并以你每次想要的方式与你交谈。
And the fact that this could be a comfort to someone, I think it's just a sign of how much we want this.
事实上，这可能会给某人带来安慰，我认为这只是我们多么想要这个的标志。
You know, that we want this person.
你知道，我们想要这个人。
In the New Yorker magazine this week, John Updike writes about Lana Turner's seven husbands.
本周，约翰·厄普代克在《纽约客》杂志上撰写了有关拉娜·特纳的七位丈夫的文章。
He says, there's something ridiculous about a woman who take seven husbands.
他说，一个女人娶了七个丈夫，这有点可笑。
As if she had rummaged through the drawers of masculinity and come up with seven dwarfs.
就好像她翻遍了男性气质的抽屉，找到了七个小矮人。
And I think that actually, what's ridiculous about it isn't that there was anything wrong with those seven guys that they were dwarfs.
我认为实际上，可笑的并不是那七个家伙有什么问题，因为他们是侏儒。
What's ridiculous is the notion that she could be married to seven different people and be happy with none of them.
可笑的是，她可能嫁给了七个不同的人，却没有一个人感到幸福。
That she, herself, would not be able to find happiness with any of those guys.
她本人将无法与这些男人中的任何一个一起找到幸福。
And the reason why she didn't find happiness with those guys was cause she was waiting for another guy.
而她之所以没有在这些男人身上找到幸福，是因为她在等待另一个男人。
She was waiting for the guy on this cassette who doesn't exist.
她在等这盒磁带上那个并不存在的人。
You know, what do we do with that dream?
你知道，我们该如何处理这个梦想？
The dream that love is going to knock at the door.
梦想爱情会来敲门。
Like in some melodrama.
就像某些情节剧中那样。
Like a TV soap opera.
就像电视肥皂剧一样。
What do we do about it when we've heard love call before and watched ourselves mess it up?
当我们听到爱情的呼唤，却发现自己把事情搞砸时，我们该怎么办？
What do we do?
我们该怎么办？
In this hour, that dream and the difficulty of that dream.
在这个时刻，那个梦想和那个梦想的困难。
[MUSIC- "LOVE AND HAPPINESS" BY REV.
[音乐-牧师的“爱与幸福”。
AL GREEN]
铝绿]
Well, our special pre-Valentine's Day love program in three acts.
好吧，我们的情人节前特别爱情节目分三幕。
Act one, Yearning, with setbacks.
第一幕，向往，有挫折。
Act two, Sex and Sex and Sex.
第二幕，性、性、性。
Act three, A Wedding.
第三幕，一场婚礼。
Act one, Yearning.
第一幕，向往。
We begin with this image, a woman in a crushed red velvet dress, lying on her stomach on the ground.
我们从这张照片开始，一个穿着压碎的红色天鹅绒连衣裙的女人，趴在地上。
The dress has a train that's 60 feet long trailing behind her.
这件裙子后面拖着一条 60 英尺长的裙裾。
Her face looks like the face of someone who's been making out in the backseat of a car for hours.
她的脸看起来就像一个在汽车后座亲热了几个小时的人的脸。
Her mouth is swollen and puffy from kissing.
她的嘴因接吻而肿胀。
Lipstick is smeared everywhere, on her mouth and chin.
口红到处都是，嘴上、下巴上都涂满了。
A dab is on her nose.
她的鼻子上沾着一点。
She's kissing the ground, methodically, with purpose.
她有目的地有条不紊地亲吻着地面。
She kisses the ground, applies a fresh coat of lipstick, kisses again.
她亲吻地面，涂上一层新口红，再次亲吻。
Applies another color, kisses again.
涂上另一种颜色，再次亲吻。
She's gone through 11 tubes of lipstick in 25 hours.
她在 25 小时内用掉了 11 管口红。
There's that sweet lipsticky perfume in the air.
空气中弥漫着甜蜜的口红香水味。
She's spelling out words on the floor in lipstick.
她正在地板上用口红拼出单词。
Each letter is two feet high.
每个字母高两英尺。
The word's say, there was a time when I worshipped the ground you walked on.
话说，曾经有一段时间我崇拜你走过的土地。
I'm making a monument to my ex-boyfriend.
我正在为我的前男友立一座纪念碑。
The woman's named Julie Laffin, and the ex-boyfriend she says, was everything she wanted to be-- creative, together.
这位女士名叫朱莉·拉芬（Julie Laffin），她说前男友就是她想要的一切——有创造力，在一起。
She said she did worship the ground he walked on.
她说她确实崇拜他走过的土地。
She said she was the kind of person who was always in love with the fantasy of being in love.
她说她是那种总是幻想着恋爱的人。
And I've worked really hard to maintain that fantasy in the face of all information about reality, the reality of the situation.
面对所有关于现实、现实情况的信息，我非常努力地维持这种幻想。
When she first started kissing the ground, in public, as performance art, a part of her wished that the ex-boyfriend would find out.
当她第一次开始在公共场合亲吻地面作为表演艺术时，她内心的一部分希望前男友能发现这一点。
Maybe he would see that she had put him behind her.
也许他会发现她已经把他抛在了身后。
Maybe he'd have regrets.
也许他会后悔。
Maybe he'd get in touch with her.
也许他会联系她。
Who among us has not known this particular mix of conflicting feelings towards an ex?
我们当中谁不知道对前任的这种特殊的矛盾感情？
Julie Laffin moved onto other kissing projects.
朱莉·拉芬开始从事其他接吻项目。
I kissed all the names of my ex-lovers onto public property.
我把所有前情人的名字都亲吻到了公共财产上。
I kissed the names on parking meters and benches and sidewalks and glass windows.
我亲吻了停车计时器、长凳、人行道和玻璃窗上的名字。
And when I kiss their names, I actually would flash to that person and really dwell on them.
当我亲吻他们的名字时，我实际上会闪到那个人身上并真正地想起他们。
And it was this very kind of releasing activity.
这正是这种释放活动。
When I got to the last person's name, I kissed it onto this big, concrete wall.
当我找到最后一个人的名字时，我把它吻到了这堵巨大的混凝土墙上。
And I thought, this is the last person in my life.
我想，这是我生命中最后一个人了。
This is the last relationship that I've had.
这是我最后一段关系。
This is actually the last relationship I will ever have.
这实际上是我拥有的最后一段关系。
And I sort of saw myself as now I was going to take this role of the eternal spinster.
我觉得自己现在将扮演永远的老处女这个角色。
When she does these performance art pieces, kissing the ground, she says that sometimes she feels like this nonentity.
当她亲吻地面的这些行为艺术作品时，她说有时她感觉自己像个无足轻重的人。
People stand near her, talk about what she's doing as if she's not there.
人们站在她身边，谈论她正在做的事情，就好像她不在那儿一样。
And when she leaves, they walk on the words she's made with her mouth, turn them into a big red blur on the ground.
当她离开时，他们踩在她嘴里说的话上，把它们变成地上的一大片红色模糊。
And Julie Laffin says there's something about kissing, compulsively for hours, that's partly like being out of control and partly very peaceful.
朱莉·拉芬说，连续几个小时不由自主地接吻有一种感觉，部分感觉像是失控，部分感觉非常平静。
Meditative.
冥想。
She slides along the ground, kissing out the pattern of each letter.
她沿着地面滑行，亲吻出每个字母的图案。
The other day, this guy came in selling peanuts for the homeless.
有一天，这个家伙进来为无家可归的人卖花生。
And he walked in and he said, is this what I think it is?
他走进来说，这就是我想的那样吗？
And I said, I don't know.
我说，我不知道。
What do you think it is?
你认为它是什么？
And he said, are these all lip marks?
他说，这些都是唇印吗？
And I said, yes.
我说，是的。
And he said, I wish I were the guy that these were meant for.
他说，我希望我是这些人的目标。
There's a yearning for love that we feel when we've actually loved someone and been loved.
当我们真正爱过某人并被爱时，我们就会感受到对爱的渴望。
And then there's the yearning for love that you feel if you have it.
然后，如果你拥有爱，你就会感受到对爱的渴望。
Mark O'Brien is a writer in California, but because of a childhood case of polio, he lives most of each day in an iron lung on his back.
马克·奥布莱恩是加利福尼亚州的一名作家，但由于儿时患上小儿麻痹症，他每天大部分时间都生活在背上的铁肺里。
He's the subject of this amazing little film, new film, called Breathing Lessons.
他是这部令人惊叹的小电影的主题，新电影，名为《呼吸课》。
And the film is remarkable because it's about a guy in an iron lung, but it is completely unsentimental.
这部电影之所以引人注目，是因为它讲述了一个铁肺里的人的故事，但却完全不带感情色彩。
And in certain moments, it's also pretty funny.
在某些时刻，这也很有趣。
The film is by Jessica Yu, and it was just at the Sundance Film Festival.
这部电影由杰西卡·余执导，刚刚在圣丹斯电影节上映。
And Jessica Yu gave us permission to excerpt a memorable little scene from the film here on our radio show.
杰西卡·余 (Jessica Yu) 允许我们在广播节目中摘录电影中令人难忘的小场景。
Because he's in the iron lung, Mark O'Brien has attendants cook and help him out during the day.
因为马克·奥布莱恩在铁肺里，白天他会请服务员做饭并帮他干活。
And during the film he explains that these days he always has men do this job.
在影片中，他解释说，现在他总是让男人来做这项工作。
Because when he had women do the job, he kept falling in love with them.
因为当他让女性来做这份工作时，他就会不断地爱上她们。
And the love was never reciprocated.
而这份爱却从未得到回报。
He wrote about one of these women, "Her pale, perfect skin, her strong, fleshy legs drove me to ecstasies of despair.
他在描述其中一位女性时写道：“她苍白、完美的皮肤，她强壮、肉质的双腿让我陷入绝望的狂喜之中。
See, she'd talk with me as a human instead of her savagely crippled employer."
看，她会像一个人一样和我说话，而不是像她残暴的残废雇主一样。”
Here's a little scene about desire and yearning from this film.
这是这部电影中关于欲望和向往的一个小场景。
I hired a sex surrogate in '87 or '86.
我在 87 年或 86 年雇用了一位性代理人。
I forget when.
我忘记什么时候了。
I felt very crazy.
我感觉很疯狂。
I was angry at all women for not falling in love with me because I'd fallen in love with several attendants and they all said it was a business relationship.
我对所有女人不爱上我感到生气，因为我爱上了几个服务员，他们都说这是生意关系。
A sex surrogate is a person who has some psychological training that works with their body, having sex with a client who is referred by a therapist.
性代理人是接受过一些与身体相关的心理训练的人，与治疗师推荐的客户发生性关系。
The surrogate had this big mirror and she showed me naked and aroused.
代孕妈妈有一面大镜子，她给我展示了裸体和兴奋的样子。
I thought of myself as the ugliest man in the world.
我认为自己是世界上最丑的人。
But it's like something, someone who would want to have sex with.
但这就像某个人想与之发生性关系。
Not just my dick, but my whole body.
不只是我的鸡巴，还有我的整个身体。
And Carol was very kind to me.
卡罗尔对我很好。
She kissed me on the chest after we had intercourse.
我们发生性关系后，她亲吻了我的胸部。
I felt my chest was very unattractive, but she kissed me right there and the intercourse was so quick.
我觉得我的胸部很没有吸引力，但她就在那里吻了我，性交很快。
I hate to say it, but it was wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
我不想这么说，但确实是“砰”的一声，谢谢你，女士。
And it wasn't as great as I thought it would be, but being naked in a bed with a woman who's being extremely friendly was the most fun I've ever had.
虽然它并没有我想象的那么好，但是和一个非常友好的女人赤身裸体地躺在床上是我经历过的最有趣的事情。
I think I'd like to do it again.
我想我还想再做一次。
Usually Mark O'Brien can't be outside of his iron lung for more than 45 minutes.
通常马克·奥布莱恩在铁肺之外的时间不能超过 45 分钟。
But when the sex surrogate was with him, he was outside his tube for longer than that.
但当性代理人和他在一起时，他在管外的时间比这更长。
Longer than he almost ever goes out.
几乎比他出去的时间还要长。
And he didn't even use his portable respirator.
他甚至没有使用他的便携式呼吸器。
I didn't need it for an hour.
我一个小时都不需要它。
I went for an hour without it.
我走了一个小时没有它。
They should think of sex as respiratory therapy.
他们应该将性视为呼吸疗法。
Maybe Medicare would pay for it.
也许医疗保险会支付费用。
About a year after I last saw her, I just felt terribly depressed.
我上次见到她大约一年后，我感到非常沮丧。
I expected somehow that seeing the surrogate would change my life.
我希望看到代孕妈妈会以某种方式改变我的生活。
I'd started wearing cologne and I thought everyone would be able to tell I was sexy and handsome.
我开始喷古龙水，我想每个人都能看出我性感又英俊。
But nothing happened.
但什么也没发生。
They tell us to think of ourselves as sexual and beautiful, but it doesn't do any good unless someone else sees us as sexual and beautiful.
他们告诉我们要认为自己性感且美丽，但除非别人认为我们性感且美丽，否则这没有任何好处。
You just can't demand love.
你只是不能要求爱。
You have to be lovable.
你必须是可爱的。
I'm still trying to figure out how to do that.
我仍在努力弄清楚如何做到这一点。
This is Luis Rodriquez and the piece is called "Waiting."
我是路易斯·罗德里格斯，这首曲子叫《等待》。
What made the waiting so painful?
是什么让等待如此痛苦？
The woman had called, she was on her way.
那个女人已经打来电话了，她正在路上。
Tense, I waited sitting at the kitchen table.
我紧张地坐在厨房的桌子旁等着。
There had been too many nights waking up to bottles and books on the floor.
有太多的夜晚醒来时发现地板上有瓶子和书籍。
Two small children parked on blankets in the corner.
两个小孩停在角落里的毯子上。
Alone ain't so bad.
一个人也没有那么糟糕。
Dreams of women yet to be touched, to be smelled.
女性的梦想尚未被触碰，尚未被闻到。
It ain't bad.
这还不错。
Up on a hill hidden by wood and shingled shacks alongside curbless roads visited by nobody unless they had to be here.
山上有一座小山，周围是木头和木瓦棚屋，旁边是没有路缘石的道路，除非他们必须来到这里，否则没有人会到访。
Alone ain't so bad.
一个人也没有那么糟糕。
Hammering holes into walls with fists, tears streaming down my face at saxophone riffs.
用拳头在墙上敲打洞，萨克斯管的即兴演奏让我泪流满面。
Looking at old photos, feeding babies, taking out trash, and thinking of her.
看着老照片，喂婴儿，倒垃圾，想着她。
It ain't so bad.
情况并没有那么糟糕。
I couldn't stand it.
我受不了了。
Looked through personal ads in the weeklys.
浏览每周的个人广告。
Made phone calls, wrote letters, came across a video date, the godsend for lonely people.
打电话、写信、视频约会，这对于孤独的人来说是天赐之物。
I called.
我打了电话。
After three false starts, a lady said she would be here Saturday.
在经历了三次错误的开始之后，一位女士说她周六会来这里。
It's Saturday and I'm going nuts.
今天是星期六，我快要疯了。
An hour finding the place, an old stucco white basement room.
花了一个小时才找到这个地方，一个古老的灰泥白色地下室。
You can't miss it.
你不能错过它。
Cholo graffiti on the front door.
前门上有 Cholo 涂鸦。
She came, made her pits.
她来了，挖了坑。
Saw the hurt in my eyes.
看到我眼里的伤害。
I always spoke with my eyes, dammit.
我总是用眼睛说话，该死。
A longing for sweet companionship.
渴望甜蜜的陪伴。
Not of drunken home boys or angel dusted street women, for the mother of my kids out at Sunny's Lounge sucking Kahluas and highballs, and shooting out wicked smiles at discoed-out dudes.
不是醉酒的家庭男孩或天使般的街头女人，而是我孩子们的母亲在阳光休息室吸着甘露酒和高球威士忌，并对着迪斯科舞池的家伙露出邪恶的微笑。
The lady looked in my eyes and then stopped.
这位女士看着我的眼睛，然后停了下来。
Refused to sell me the video date.
拒绝向我出售视频日期。
Refused to take the check.
拒绝接受支票。
This can't help you, she said, and walked out.
这帮不了你，她说完就走了出去。
He asked me to go for a walk.
他约我去散步。
I said no, even though I knew I wanted to.
我说不，尽管我知道我想这么做。
This story about wanting love from Dolores Wilbur.
这是一个关于想要从多洛雷斯·威尔伯那里得到爱的故事。
We were sweeping out the cottage, cleaning up.
我们正在打扫小屋，打扫卫生。
It was time to go home.
是时候回家了。
We had to leave that afternoon, less than a couple of hours away.
那天下午我们不得不离开，距离酒店还不到几个小时。
He just looked at me without expression, not sure of how he should look.
他只是面无表情地看着我，不知道自己应该是什么样子。
He knew I would go for a walk.
他知道我会去散步。
He knew I wanted to.
他知道我想这么做。
I knew I would as well, but I wanted to say no to try it out.
我知道我也会这么做，但我想说不去尝试。
I gave in almost immediately.
我几乎立即屈服了。
So we walked.
于是我们就步行了。
I kicked stones watching my feet.
我踢着石头看着我的脚。
There were trees on either side of us.
我们的两边都有树。
He said, I don't have anything to say.
他说，我没什么可说的。
I just wanted to walk with you.
我只是想和你一起走。
I said stupid things.
我说了些蠢话。
Or maybe it is that they weren't stupid, but saying them out loud sounded so stupid.
或许他们并不愚蠢，但大声说出来听起来太愚蠢了。
He said, how do you feel?
他说，你感觉怎么样？
I said, upset.
我说，心烦意乱。
He nodded.
他点点头。
I hated that he nodded.
我讨厌他点头。
He knew it was going badly and he began to feel miserable.
他知道情况会很糟糕，他开始感到痛苦。
He tried to think of something to say.
他试图想说什么。
I said, I don't understand you.
我说，我不明白你的意思。
We thought we were alike, but we find we are not.
我们以为我们很相似，但我们发现我们并不相似。
I hate when you say you're sorry you hurt my feelings.
我讨厌你说对不起，因为你伤害了我的感情。
You didn't hurt my feelings, you hurt me.
你没有伤害我的感情，你伤害了我。
And you're dumb.
而你很愚蠢。
Why are you doing this?
你为什么要这样做？
I hate this conversation.
我讨厌这样的谈话。
I hate this kind of conversation.
我讨厌这样的谈话。
He said, I hate this conversation too.
他说，我也讨厌这样的谈话。
I hate it so much.
我非常讨厌它。
I said, well, you're the man.
我说，好吧，你就是那个男人。
You're the one making it all wrong.
你就是那个让这一切都错了的人。
You figure it out.
你弄清楚了。
He said, I'm the one who's supposed to fix it, is that it?
他说，我是应该解决这个问题的人，是吗？
I said, we can't be friends.
我说，我们不能做朋友。
We can't.
我们不能。
I can't.
我不能。
It's not what I want.
这不是我想要的。
He nodded, looked down, looked away.
他点点头，低下头，移开视线。
Looked anxious, afraid to say anything.
神色焦急，不敢说什么。
After a while he said, how you feel now, this has happened to me before.
过了一会儿他说，你现在的感受，我以前也发生过这种事。
What?
什么？
I said.
我说。
He told me something that only made me mad.
他告诉我一些只会让我生气的事情。
He wanted someone who didn't want him and it took a long time to be over.
他想要一个不想要他的人，花了很长时间才结束。
So what, I thought.
那又怎样，我想。
Who cares?
谁在乎？
It's not the same.
这不一样。
He said, can't we be friends?
他说，我们不能做朋友吗？
We can talk on the phone, but we can't see each other, I said.
“我们可以打电话，但我们看不到对方，”我说。
But will we talk to be friends?
但我们会成为朋友吗？
He said.
他说。
No, I said.
不，我说。
He said, what will we say?
他说，我们说什么？
Hi, how are you?
你好你好吗？
I'm fine.
我很好。
That's all?
就这样？
I don't know, I said.
我不知道，我说。
We walked aimlessly.
我们漫无目的地走着。
It was hot.
天气很热。
We looked for shade.
我们寻找阴凉处。
He stopped at a bunch of rocks marking the gate in front of a white picket fence.
他停在白色尖桩篱笆前的一堆岩石前，标志着大门。
He picked up one of the rocks with both hands.
他用双手捡起其中一块石头。
It was big and rough, salt and pepper with white spindly lines running through it.
它又大又粗糙，有盐和胡椒的味道，上面有白色细长的线条。
Some bits of sparkly dust glinted off it in the sun.
一些闪闪发光的灰尘在阳光下闪闪发光。
He stood holding it to his chest for a moment and then, looking around, gently put it down somewhere else, less than a foot away.
他站在那里，把它抱在胸前一会儿，然后环顾四周，轻轻地将它放在离他不到一英尺的地方。
There, doesn't it look better now?
怎么样，现在是不是看起来好多了？
He said.
他说。
He looked satisfied, relieved at what he had done.
他看起来很满意，对自己所做的事情感到松了口气。
I fought back irritation and wondered at what this meant to him.
我强忍着愤怒，想知道这对他意味着什么。
I guessed it was because he had done something.
我猜想是因为他做了某事。
Sometimes just doing any one thing can make you feel better.
有时候，只要做一件事就能让你感觉更好。
It doesn't matter what.
什么都没关系。
The look on his face picking up the rock, moving it, walking, it all made me so tired.
他捡起石头、搬动、行走的表情，让我很累。
He said, yes, looking anxious again.
他说，是的，看上去又很焦虑。
Then no, knowing he had said the wrong thing.
然后不行，知道自己说错话了。
We sat on a mound of tall, reedy grass down from a tree.
我们坐在树下高高的芦苇丛上。
It was cooler.
天气凉爽了。
He said, tall grass, and looked at me.
他说，高草，看着我。
His eyes were wide open.
他的眼睛睁得大大的。
I smiled at him.
我对他微笑。
He said things like that and I loved him.
他说了这样的话，我爱他。
He lounged and I sat and picked up twigs and pushed them into the soft, moist ground, reaching for pieces of bark.
他懒洋洋地躺着，我坐下来，捡起树枝，把它们推到柔软潮湿的地面上，伸手去拿树皮碎片。
Different mottled surfaces, rough, but warm and comforting in my hands.
不同的斑驳表面，粗糙，但握在手中却温暖舒适。
I placed them carefully between the twigs.
我小心地将它们放在树枝之间。
He said, what are you doing?
他说，你在做什么？
I said, I'm making a pile for a little animal to find and to use.
我说，我正在堆一堆供小动物找到和使用。
And besides, the bark is so pretty.
此外，树皮非常漂亮。
He said, I'm breaking up little pieces of twig and hiding them around.
他说，我正在折断小树枝并将它们藏在周围。
He laughed edgy and said, yeah, that's me.
他笑着说，是的，就是我。
Hiding stuff like nobody could see.
把东西藏起来，没人能看到。
I wondered if he loved me.
我想知道他是否爱我。
If e really loved me.
如果e真的爱我的话。
That morning in bed he said, I love you.
那天早上，他在床上说，我爱你。
I love you.
我爱你。
But when I said, then why?
但当我说那为什么呢？
He couldn't answer.
他无法回答。
Now he said, I like you so much.
现在他说，我非常喜欢你。
So very much.
非常喜欢。
And I noticed he didn't say love.
我注意到他没有说爱。
It didn't matter so much, I just looked at the words for a while.
没那么重要，我只是看了一会儿文字。
I looked at the sound the words made after they were said.
我看着这句话说完之后发出的声音。
I knew he loved me, but that he didn't know what that meant.
我知道他爱我，但他不知道这意味着什么。
And the truth was that I didn't either.
事实是我也没有。
And I wasn't sure that it made any difference.
我不确定这有什么不同。
We walked back to the cabin holding each other.
我们互相拥抱着走回小屋。
It was warm again.
天气又暖和了。
Our bodies were wet against each other.
我们的身体彼此湿漉漉的。
The wet felt good.
湿漉漉的感觉很好。
We walked up to the house.
我们朝房子走去。
I held his hand tightly for a moment.
我紧紧握住他的手一会儿。
He let go too quickly and I pressed my lips together.
他松开得太快，我把嘴唇抿在一起。
I watched him walk up the steps, push open the screen door.
我看着他走上台阶，推开纱门。
The breeze caught the door and it swung for a moment back and forth.
微风吹过门，门来回摇晃了一会儿。
I waited outside for him to lock up.
我在外面等他锁门。
Well, coming up in part two of our program, less gloomy stories.
好吧，我们节目的第二部分将讲述一些不那么悲观的故事。
Not so many sad stories of yearning.
没有那么多悲伤的向往故事。
Instead, stories of love, love, love and sex, sex, sex, and marriage.
相反，是关于爱、爱、爱与性、性、性和婚姻的故事。
Stay with us, it's Your Radio Playhouse.
留在我们这里，这是您的广播剧场。
Act two, it's Your Radio Playhouse.
第二幕，这是你的广播剧场。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Sex.
性别。
What would a Valentine's Day show be without sex?
没有性爱的情人节节目会怎样？
And we're going to start with this story of sexual discovery put together by audio artist Gregory Whitehead, who lives in Massachusetts.
我们将从居住在马萨诸塞州的音频艺术家格雷戈里·怀特黑德 (Gregory Whitehead) 整理的性发现故事开始。
Just a little warning here, some of the material in the next two stories might be unsuitable for younger listeners.
这里只是一个小小的警告，接下来两个故事中的一些材料可能不适合年轻的听众。
I was 13 and he was 15.
那年我13岁，他15岁。
And we were going to go to the movies.
我们打算去看电影。
We went to the Blue Star Shopping Center on Route 22.
我们去了22号公路的蓝星购物中心。
To see Live or Let Die .
去看《生死存亡》。
And I think his mother drove us.
我想他妈妈开车送我们去。
And we sat in the movie next to each other and he didn't make a move.
电影里我们坐在一起，他没有动作。
And nothing happened.
但什么也没发生。
And then his father came and picked us up and drove us back to his house.
然后他的父亲来接我们并开车送我们回他家。
So he said, do you want to come up to my room?
于是他就说，你愿意到我房间来吗？
And as we went into his room, he closed the door and said, we're not allowed to lock our doors in my house.
当我们走进他的房间时，他关上门并说，我们不可以在我的房子里锁门。
So otherwise he would have locked the door.
所以不然他就会锁门了。
This is really awful.
这实在是太糟糕了。
So I don't know, he like roamed around and was showing me stuff.
所以我不知道，他喜欢四处闲逛并向我展示东西。
And I was just being sort of polite.
我只是出于礼貌。
And showing me all his toys and junk and silly things that he had.
并向我展示了他所有的玩具、垃圾和愚蠢的东西。
And then proceeded to make the moves.
然后继续做出动作。
make the big moves on me.
对我做出大动作。
And I was just very innocent.
我只是很无辜。
And he was very aggressive.
而且他非常有攻击性。
And just started kissing me and then just said, take off your shirt.
然后就开始吻我然后说，脱掉你的衬衫。
And so I'm sitting there thinking, well, the door is unlocked.
所以我坐在那里想，好吧，门没锁。
And he said, well, he had a little sister who was pestering us.
他说，好吧，他有一个小妹妹一直在缠着我们。
So eventually I figured someone will just walk in.
所以最终我想有人会走进来。
And he's likes well, no. And asks me, do I want to see it?
他很喜欢，不。还问我想看吗？
And of course, I want to see it.
当然，我想看看。
I want to know what it looks like.
我想知道它是什么样子的。
But at the same time, I feel like I'm in this incredibly ominous, dangerous situation.
但与此同时，我感觉自己正处于一种极其不祥、危险的境地。
It's pornographic.
这是色情的。
I'm just a little girl.
我只是一个小女孩。
Now I know how much of a little girl I was.
现在我知道我当时是多么的小女孩了。
I was just 13.
我当时才13岁。
I mean, 13 is young.
我的意思是，13岁还年轻。
But there it was.
但它就在那里。
It was this mindless thing.
就是这种无意识的事情。
And I thought, well--
我想，好吧——
[INTERPOSING VOICES] So yeah, so he whips it out.
[插话]所以是的，所以他把它说出来了。
And we both sit and we look at it.
我们都坐下来看着它。
And he says, well, do you want to touch it?
他说，好吧，你想摸一下吗？
And I didn't want to.
我不想。
But I did.
但我做到了。
It was just horrible and dirty.
这真是太可怕了而且肮脏。
More dirty than anything I've ever done since, even trying to be dirty.
比我从那以后做过的任何事都更肮脏，甚至试图变得肮脏。
It was clinical.
这是临床的。
And I felt like I was being experimented upon.
我感觉自己正在接受实验。
And the worse thing was that I was so passive.
更糟糕的是我是如此被动。
And I did what I was told because I was a good girl.
我按照别人告诉我的去做，因为我是一个好女孩。
It was like a game to him.
这对他来说就像一场游戏。
Now that I'm older, now that I think about it, it was a game.
现在我长大了，现在想起来，那是一场游戏。
It wasn't playful.
这并不好玩。
It was a very sophisticated game.
这是一场非常复杂的游戏。
It was a game of erotic and it wasn't loving to-- it was just a nightmare,
这是一场色情游戏，它并不喜欢——这只是一场噩梦，
to coerce someone or to seduce someone.
胁迫某人或引诱某人。
To seduce a little girl.
去勾引一个小姑娘。
It was as if he were 40.
就好像他已经40岁了。
So here was this-- But there it was.
所以这就是这个——但它就在那里。
This mindless thing.
这种没脑子的东西。
[INTERPOSING VOICES] So he could like make it move and flop around all by itself.
[插入声音]所以他想让它自己移动和翻滚。
It was such a horrible situation.
这真是一个可怕的情况。
This spineless thing.
这个没有骨气的东西。
But it has a mind of its own and a body of its own, so it moved around.
但它有自己的思想和自己的身体，所以它会四处走动。
And I was just appalled.
我只是感到震惊。
I had no idea that this is what happened.
我不知道发生了这样的事。
That you could like make it move, all by itself without touching.
你可以让它自己移动，无需触摸。
And then it just stood up.
然后它就站起来了。
It stood straight up.
它笔直地站着。
It was like wagging.
就像摇摆一样。
It was like his little ventriloquist dummy that he could make talk to me.
就像他的口技小假人一样，他可以和我说话。
It wasn't erotic.
这不是色情。
His sister was knocking at the door.
他的妹妹正在敲门。
It wasn't loving.
那不是爱。
We put our clothes back on and--
我们重新穿上衣服然后——
My mother came and picked us up.
我妈妈来接我们了。
And I walked outside on his nice suburban lawn.
我走到他漂亮的郊区草坪上。
And his mother was there and my mother was talking to his mother.
他的母亲在那里，我的母亲正在和他的母亲说话。
And I stared at our mothers.
我盯着我们的母亲。
[INTERPOSING VOICES] I just wanted to get out of there.
[插话]我只是想离开那里。
To get to a safe place.
为了到达安全的地方。
But then I knew I could never tell anyone what had happened.
但后来我知道我永远不能告诉任何人发生了什么事。
So I could never be in a safe place.
所以我永远不可能处于安全的地方。
One of the associate producers here at Your Radio Playhouse , Nancy Updike, has this small sociological discovery about sex in America.
《你的广播剧场》的副制片人之一南希·厄普代克对美国的性有一个小小的社会学发现。
It's an odd sort of discovery about one of the most politicized aspects of sex in America: condom use.
关于美国性行为中最政治化的方面之一：安全套的使用，这是一个奇怪的发现。
I just want to know, am I the last one to know about this?
我只是想知道，我是最后一个知道这件事的人吗？
Because the first time I had sex without a condom was only a few months ago.
因为我第一次不戴安全套发生性行为是在几个月前。
I was dating this 21-year-old Irish boy with a creamy body and a big mouth.
我正在和一个 21 岁的爱尔兰男孩约会，他有着奶油般的身材和一张大嘴。
After the first time we skipped it, we never used a condom.
第一次跳过之后，我们就再也没有使用过安全套。
At the time, I was living with my best friend, Sarah.
当时，我和我最好的朋友莎拉住在一起。
She and I were sort of married and we told each other everything.
她和我已经结婚了，我们互相告诉对方一切。
One morning leaving my lovely boyfriend sprawled out and sleeping, I went next door to Sarah's room and sat down on her bed.
一天早上，我离开我可爱的男朋友四肢摊开睡觉，来到隔壁莎拉的房间，坐在她的床上。
So how's the sex?
那么性别如何呢？
She smiled.
她笑了。
Fun, I said.
有趣，我说。
Not the greatest ever, but vigorous and sort of sweet.
不是有史以来最伟大的，但充满活力，有点甜蜜。
Pause.
暂停。
I wanted to tell her about the whole condom thing because I knew she was assuming we were using them, mistaking us every day for good, righteous people instead of the bad, irresponsible people we, in fact, were.
我想告诉她整个安全套的事情，因为我知道她以为我们在使用它们，每天都把我们误认为是好人、正义的人，而不是我们实际上是坏人、不负责任的人。
And the longer it went on, the more it felt like I was lying.
持续的时间越长，我就越觉得自己在撒谎。
We're not using condoms, I blurted it out, looking down.
我们没有使用安全套，我低着头脱口而出。
There was a long pause.
一阵长长的停顿。
Josh and I aren't using them either, she said.
“乔希和我也不使用它们，”她说。
I looked up.
我抬起头来。
We stared at each other for a second and we burst out laughing.
我们对视了一秒，突然大笑起来。
It may be hard to convey the strange giddiness of this moment to anyone who didn't go to college in the late '80s and early '90s.
对于那些在 80 年代末和 90 年代初没有上过大学的人来说，可能很难传达这一刻的奇怪的眩晕感。
For Sarah and me, and for our girlfriends, safe sex was the marker of the modern, straight, post-AIDS feminist.
对于莎拉和我，以及我们的女朋友来说，安全性行为是现代、异性恋、艾滋病后女权主义者的标志。
She has sex with who she wants and when she wants, but she always protects herself.
她随心所欲地与任何人发生性关系，但她总是保护自己。
It was about self-respect and it was about being down with the cause.
这关乎自尊，关乎事业。
Sisters knew that sisters used condoms.
姐妹们知道姐妹们使用安全套。
Well, that was then.
嗯，就是那时。
Here are some of the sisters now.
现在有一些姐妹。
I don't think anybody uses them anymore.
我认为没有人再使用它们了。
I used them-- oh my god-- many moons ago.
我在很多个月前就用过它们——天哪。
Well, kind of.
嗯，有点。
Woman 5 We use them once in a while like right around the time that I know that I'm ovulating.
女人 5 我们偶尔使用它们，就像我知道自己排卵的时候一样。
Statistics seem to indicate that, in fact, very few women are practicing safe sex.
统计数据似乎表明，实际上很少有女性实行安全性行为。
Nationwide, only about 20% of currently sexually active women report using condoms.
在全国范围内，目前性活跃的女性中只有约 20% 表示使用安全套。
And one out of five of those condom-using women hadn't used one the last time they had intercourse.
在使用安全套的女性中，有五分之一在上次性交时没有使用安全套。
Gay men, in contrast, seem more careful.
相比之下，男同性恋者似乎更加小心。
But even here, a San Francisco survey showed only half of gay men saying they use a condom every time they have sex.
但即使在这里，旧金山的一项调查也显示，只有一半的男同性恋者表示他们每次发生性行为时都会使用安全套。
Interestingly, these studies, the most current according to the Centers for Disease Control, are four years old, and are based on data collected four years before that, at the height of my alleged safe sex vigilance and that of my friends.
有趣的是，这些研究（根据疾病控制中心的最新数据）已经有四年了，并且基于四年前收集的数据，当时我和我的朋友们对安全性行为保持高度警惕。
So what now seems clear is that a massive nationwide campaign to shape our sex lives failed.
所以现在看来很清楚的是，一场旨在塑造我们性生活的大规模全国性运动失败了。
And no one is talking about the fact that it failed.
没有人谈论它失败的事实。
Most of us are not practicing safe sex and never did.
我们大多数人都没有实行安全性行为，而且从来没有这样做过。
At least not in that every time, for the whole time, no exceptions way that safe sex as we knew it was all about.
至少不是每次，从始至终，无一例外，这就是我们所知道的安全性行为。
And now, nearly everyone I know seems paralyzed in this weird state that's part shame at what we see as laziness about using condoms, and part stubborn attachment to our secret decision not to use them as often as we feel we should.
现在，我认识的几乎每个人似乎都陷入了这种奇怪的状态，这部分是因为我们认为使用安全套的懒惰而感到羞耻，部分是因为我们秘密决定不经常使用它们。
For instance, I started out scared about not using condoms with my cute Irish boyfriend and had to keep rationalizing what we were doing by reminding myself that he was a drunk, not a junkie.
例如，一开始我害怕不和我可爱的爱尔兰男友一起使用安全套，并且不得不通过提醒自己他是个酒鬼而不是瘾君子来不断合理化我们所做的事情。
And that he'd gotten head for a boy only once and hadn't liked it.
而且他只对一个男孩有过一次好感，而且并不喜欢。
But then fear faded to guilt, and now I don't even think the guilt makes sense.
但后来恐惧变成了内疚，现在我什至认为内疚没有意义。
I'm not using condoms and my women friends are not using condoms because when we look around, we are not dying of this disease, and neither is anyone we're sleeping with.
我不使用安全套，我的女性朋友也不使用安全套，因为当我们环顾四周时，我们并没有死于这种疾病，与我们一起睡觉的任何人也没有。
And it's been that way for 10 years now.
十年来一直如此。
Heterosexual, non-drug-using women simply have not, as a group, become the much-feared second wave of the AIDS epidemic as we were always being warned in college that we would.
作为一个群体，异性恋、不吸毒的女性根本没有成为令人恐惧的第二波艾滋病流行，就像我们在大学里总是被警告的那样。
Only 8% of all diagnosed AIDS cases in the United States are from heterosexual contact, according to the CDC.
据美国疾病控制与预防中心 (CDC) 称，在美国所有确诊的艾滋病病例中，只有 8% 是由异性接触引起的。
But we keep calling ourselves lazy, my friends and I, I think because we're feeling like bad feminists.
但我和我的朋友们一直称自己为懒惰，我想是因为我们感觉自己像坏女权主义者。
Giving up safe sex means giving up that solidarity we believed in back when it seemed like we were all going to be at risk together-- gay men, straight women, women across lines of race, and class, and age, all of us united against a single, deadly common enemy.
放弃安全性行为意味着放弃我们所相信的团结，当时我们似乎都将一起面临危险——男同性恋者、异性恋女性、跨越种族、阶级和年龄的女性，我们所有人团结起来对抗一个致命的共同敌人。
Five years later, I think it's only a matter of time before the phrase, "No glove, no love" sounds to us the way "Sisterhood is powerful" sounds to our mothers.
五年后，我认为“没有手套，就没有爱”这句话对我们来说听起来就像“姐妹情谊是强大的”对我们的母亲来说只是时间问题。
[MUSIC- "FORBIDDEN LOVE" BY MADONNA]
[音乐-麦当娜的“禁忌之爱”]
Act three, A Wedding.
第三幕，一场婚礼。
Shakespeare ends his comedies with weddings, and it's easy to see why.
莎士比亚以婚礼结束他的喜剧，原因显而易见。
You want a moment of joy, of hope at the end of any program that touches on the idea of love.
在任何涉及爱的概念的节目结束时，你都希望有片刻的欢乐和希望。
OK, hold his hand.
好，握住他的手。
All right, now whatever I say in English, you're going to tell him in Spanish.
好吧，现在无论我用英语说什么，你都要用西班牙语告诉他。
If you walk downstairs in Chicago's City Hall, you take the escalator down when you walk in that front door on whatever street that is.
如果您走下芝加哥市政厅的楼，无论您在哪条街道上走进前门，都会乘自动扶梯下来。
If you walk downstairs and you turn right, you come to marriage court.
如果你走下楼然后右转，你就会来到婚姻法庭。
It costs $10.
售价 10 美元。
There's a big sign saying right up front you can't offer the judge a gratuity.
前面有一个大牌子写着你不能给法官小费。
And you know, you get the license down the hall and then there's a one-day waiting period, like if you buy a handgun or something.
你知道，你在大厅拿到许可证，然后有一天的等待期，就像你买一把手枪或其他东西一样。
They don't want people rushing into it.
他们不希望人们急于介入。
12,530 people were married in this court last year.
去年有12,530人在这个法庭结婚。
That's more than any other place in Illinois, as best as anybody can figure.
这比伊利诺伊州任何其他地方都要多，这是任何人都能想到的。
I'm going to ask them about eight questions.
我要问他们八个问题。
Now, I don't want them to answer each question.
现在，我不想让他们回答每个问题。
When I'm all done with the eight questions-- ocho-- then I'll say to him, OK, Francisco, what is your answer?
当我问完八个问题之后——ocho——然后我会对他说，好吧，弗朗西斯科，你的答案是什么？
And he'll answer once.
他会回答一次。
Tell him that.
告诉他这一点。
Wednesday morning Francisco and Arminia Orosco stood before Judge Arthur Rosenblum.
周三早上，弗朗西斯科·奥罗斯科和阿米尼娅·奥罗斯科站在阿瑟·罗森布鲁姆法官面前。
Arminia spoke English, but Francisco didn't.
阿米尼亚会说英语，但弗朗西斯科不会。
And although is was happening in a basement office with dingy carpet, and although the groom was in jeans with a Coors belt buckle and a leather jacket, and although they brought no witnesses, and although both of them were planning on going to work after the wedding-- her at an insurance office and him at a record store-- there was still something moving about watching her translate the vows, looking in the eyes of her husband-to-be.
尽管这一切发生在一间铺着肮脏地毯的地下室办公室里，尽管新郎穿着带库尔斯皮带扣的牛仔裤和皮夹克，尽管他们没有带任何证人，尽管他们都计划在婚礼后去上班——她在一家保险公司，他在一家唱片店——但看着她翻译誓言，看着她未来丈夫的眼睛，仍然有一些令人感动的地方。
That is, once they actually got started.
也就是说，一旦他们真正开始。
OK, ready?
好的，准备好了吗？
Here we go.
开始了。
Francisco, do you take her to be your wife, and to live together with her as husband and wife?
弗兰西斯科，你愿意接受她为你的妻子，并与她以夫妻的身份生活在一起吗？
What are you looking at me for?
你看着我干什么？
Translate it.
翻译一下。
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Judge Arthur Rosenblum And live together with her as husband and wife.
[西班牙语] 亚瑟·罗森布鲁姆法官 并与她作为夫妻生活在一起。
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Judge Arthur Rosenblum Do you promise to love her, honor her, and respect her?
[西班牙语] 亚瑟·罗森布鲁姆法官 你承诺爱她、尊敬她并尊重她吗？
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Judge Arthur Rosenblum Do you promise to be her friend?
[西班牙语] 亚瑟·罗森布鲁姆法官 你答应做她的朋友吗？
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Judge Arthur Rosenblum Do you promise to take care of her whether she's sick or whether she's well?
[西班牙语] 亚瑟·罗森布鲁姆法官 您是否承诺无论她生病还是健康都会照顾她？
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Ira Glass Judge Rosenblum looks in their eyes as he does the ceremony.
[西班牙语] 艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 法官罗森布鲁姆 (Rosenblum) 在主持仪式时注视着他们的眼睛。
He doesn't have a piece of paper or anything with the script.
他没有一张纸或任何有剧本的东西。
And after both of them did their vows, Judge Rosenblum gave a little speech about the wedding rings, about how they symbolize an endless love, an endless friendship.
在两人宣誓后，罗森布鲁姆法官发表了一段关于结婚戒指的简短演讲，讲述它们如何象征着无尽的爱情、无尽的友谊。
And both of them put on the rings.
然后两人都戴上了戒指。
All right, you're Senor Esposa.
好吧，你是埃波萨先生。
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
[说西班牙语]
A big embrace, he says.
他说，一个大大的拥抱。
Judge Arthur Rosenblum Beso, beso.
亚瑟·罗森布鲁姆法官贝索，贝索。
Kiss, kiss.
亲吻，亲吻。
So they do.
他们就是这么做的。
Judge Rosenblum has done a few things to make weddings in city hall a little more human.
罗森布鲁姆法官做了一些事情，让市政厅的婚礼变得更加人性化。
He's replaced the generic hotel art in the office with a Norman Rockwell print.
他用诺曼·洛克威尔 (Norman Rockwell) 的印刷品取代了办公室里普通的酒店艺术品。
One whole wall of his office is lined with snapshots of happy couples, him in the middle.
他办公室的一整面墙都贴满了幸福情侣的照片，他在中间。
In this office, you see the whole range of couples, all ages and races, all incomes.
在这个办公室里，你可以看到各种类型的夫妇、所有年龄、种族、所有收入。
Though a lot of people come to City Hall because it's so cheap.
不过很多人来市政厅是因为它太便宜了。
And the full range of happy and unhappy couples.
以及各种各样的幸福和不幸的夫妻。
Joan Healey is the [UNINTELLIGIBLE] good humor, completely wonderful woman who greets you when you walk into the office and arrive at the front window.
琼·希利（Joan Healey）是一位[难以理解]幽默、非常出色的女人，当你走进办公室并到达前窗时，她会向你打招呼。
She's the one who takes your $10.
她就是拿走你10美元的人。
And she says that she sees some couples she frankly has to worry about a little.
她说，她看到一些夫妇，坦率地说，她不得不担心一些。
I really think, walk away.
我真的想，走开吧。
Walk away.
走开。
It's a long life together, long life together.
一起度过漫长的一生，一起度过漫长的一生。
And what are you seeing when you think that?
当你这么想时，你看到了什么？
What are they doing?
他们在做什么？
I get a funny feeling in the tone of voice that they use to one another.
他们互相说话的语气让我有一种奇怪的感觉。
This is kidding on the square, you are seeing this.
这是广场上的玩笑，你也看到了。
And you're kind of hurting that person.
你有点伤害了那个人。
Or just maybe sitting in a chair.
或者只是坐在椅子上。
If one will sit, go and sit in the chair, and the one that I kind of think is not the nice one would probably go sit in another chair on the other side of the room.
如果有人愿意坐下，就去坐在椅子上，而我认为不太好的椅子可能会坐在房间另一边的另一张椅子上。
Not really even wanting to be together, things like that.
甚至不想在一起，诸如此类。
Just kind of shake your head and say-- by the time you get up to the escalator, the top of the escalator, I hope they're still together.
只是摇摇头说——当你到达自动扶梯、自动扶梯顶部时，我希望他们还在一起。
In his chambers, between weddings, Judge Rosenblum reads and smokes a pipe.
婚礼间隙，罗森布鲁姆法官在自己的房间里读书、抽烟斗。
He was out til midnight the night before I visited in his regular gin rummy game.
在我去参加他的常规杜松子酒拉米游戏的前一天晚上，他一直在外面待到午夜。
He's 79, married twice, but not currently married.
他今年 79 岁，结过两次婚，但目前尚未结婚。
He says that there's nothing the rabbi could have said to him under the marriage canopy when he got married that would've been useful advice.
他说，当他结婚时，拉比在婚姻的殿堂下对他说的任何建议都不会是有用的。
Each marriage runs the course it's supposed to, he says.
他说，每段婚姻都会按照它应该的方式进行。
It's just dumb luck.
这只是愚蠢的运气。
Nobody can really tell you anything.
没有人能真正告诉你任何事情。
Some should marry, some should not.
有些人应该结婚，有些人不应该结婚。
Some do, some will last.
有些会，有些会持续下去。
Some won't last.
有些不会持久。
That's true of all life in anything, right?
一切生命都是如此，对吗？
Joan, let me ask you something?
琼，让我问你一件事？
Why do people get married?
人们为什么要结婚？
Oh, for various reasons.
哦，出于各种原因。
Some for love, some for money.
有的为了爱情，有的为了金钱。
Some I don't know why.
有的不知道为什么。
Oh, yes.
哦是的。
Can't you tell?
你看不出来吗？
Ira Glass If couples seem interested, Judge Rosenblum will pull a book out of his upper left-hand desk drawer and read a little bit.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 如果夫妻俩看起来有兴趣，罗森布鲁姆法官会从他左上角的办公桌抽屉里拿出一本书来读一点。
The book is Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet.
这本书是纪伯伦的《先知》。
And this book is a great allegory.
这本书是一个伟大的寓言。
An allegory is a story like a parable.
寓言是像寓言一样的故事。
And what it does is it tells you something which really means something else.
它的作用是告诉你一些真正意味着别的东西的事情。
He turns to the chapters on love and marriage.
他翻到了关于爱情和婚姻的章节。
I'll only read the parts that are worldwide known.
我只会阅读全世界都知道的部分。
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor.
但如果你在恐惧中只想寻求爱的平安和爱的快乐，那么你最好遮盖自己的赤身裸体，走出爱的谷场。
In the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not with all of your laughter, and weep, but not with all of your tears."
在这个没有季节的世界里，你会笑，但不会用尽所有的笑声，也会哭泣，但不会用尽所有的泪水。”
It can take away your faith in the romance of marriage to see 12,000 of them in a year.
一年内见到 12,000 次婚姻，就会让你对浪漫婚姻失去信心。
But Judge Rosenblum says he sees his share of truly happy couples in this job.
但罗森布鲁姆法官表示，他在这份工作中看到了真正幸福的夫妻。
The other woman working up front, Michelle Roberts, says that despite this job, she's still glad to be married when she goes home at night.
另一位在前台工作的女士米歇尔·罗伯茨 (Michelle Roberts) 表示，尽管有这份工作，但晚上回家时她仍然很高兴能结婚。
And every day, dozens more arrive to take their vows.
每天都有数十人前来宣誓。
Some dressed in formal wear, some in jeans.
有的穿着正装，有的穿着牛仔裤。
Many with children in tow.
许多人都带着孩子。
Valentine's Day turns out to be the busiest day of the year here.
情人节是这里一年中最繁忙的一天。
145 marriages last Valentine's Day.
去年情人节有 145 桩婚姻。
The halls were jammed.
大厅里挤满了人。
The elevator jammed.
电梯卡住了。
The escalator jammed with people who couldn't wait to get married on the holiday of love.
自动扶梯上挤满了迫不及待想要在爱情节日结婚的人们。
Well, before we end our show, there's a song that we've actually been saving to play for Valentine's Day.
好吧，在我们结束演出之前，我们实际上已经保存了一首歌曲，准备在情人节播放。
We recorded this back around Christmas.
我们在圣诞节前后记录了这一点。
And these are kids at the Daniel J.
这些是 Daniel J. 的孩子们。
Nellum Youth Services in Chicago.
芝加哥内勒姆青年服务中心。
And they sing this little song that they made up, a little crush song.
他们唱着这首他们创作的小歌，一首暗恋的小歌。
They include Antwone Robinson, Warren Harris, Sean Cook, Edward G.
他们包括 Antwone Robinson、Warren Harris、Sean Cook、Edward G.
Robinson, Junior, Willie Weddington, Curtis Perry, and Nate Settles.
小罗宾逊、威利·韦丁顿、柯蒂斯·佩里和内特·塞特尔斯。
Here's their song.
这是他们的歌。
Credits Ira Glass Tonight's program was produced by Dolores Wilbur and by myself, with Alix Spiegel, Peter Clowney and Nancy Updike.
鸣谢 Ira Glass 今晚的节目由 Dolores Wilbur 和我本人以及 Alix Spiegel、Peter Clowney 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Contributing editors Jack Hitt, Margy Rockland and Mr. Paul Tough.
特约编辑 Jack Hitt、Margy Rockland 和 Paul Tough 先生。
WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia.
WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 监督。
That's a really good name to mess up during the credits.
这真是一个在片尾字幕中搞砸的好名字。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] If you would care to buy a tape of this or our other Radio Playhouse programs, call us.
[致谢] 如果您想购买本节目或我们其他广播剧场节目的磁带，请致电我们。
Call us, call us at WBEZ 312-832-3380.
请致电 WBEZ 312-832-3380。
You can email us with any comments or thoughts and we will email you back.
您可以通过电子邮件向我们提出任何意见或想法，我们将通过电子邮件回复您。
Our address, [email protected] .
我们的地址，[电子邮件受保护]。
And do you remember that really smart, amazing guy in the iron lung?
你还记得铁肺里那个非常聪明、了不起的家伙吗？
You can actually email him.
其实你可以发邮件给他。
His name is Mark O'Brien if you want to chat with him.
如果你想和他聊天，他的名字是马克·奥布莱恩。
And his email address is marko-- M-A-R-K-O-- @well.com.
他的电子邮件地址是 marko-- M-A-R-K-O-- @well.com。
We, this Radio Playhouse program, we broadcast proudly from WBEZ Chicago.
我们，这个广播剧屋节目，我们自豪地在 WBEZ 芝加哥播出。
We'll be back next week with more stories of this here American life, I'm Ira Glass.
下周我们将带着更多关于美国生活的故事回来，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。