113: Windfall - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #113 | October 16, 1998 113: Windfall Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 113 集 | 1998 年 10 月 16 日 113：意外之财 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago and Public Radio International, it's This American Life .
序言 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥和国际公共广播电台的 Ira Glass，这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Every morning when I wake up, at some point in time through the morning, those numbers are the first things that pop in my head.
每天早上当我醒来时，在整个早上的某个时间点，这些数字都是我脑海中首先浮现的事情。
And it's been over two and a half years, but I still think of those numbers every day.
两年半过去了，但我仍然每天都会想起这些数字。
They're not any significant numbers for the fact of I didn't even pick the numbers.
它们并不是任何重要的数字，因为我什至没有选择这些数字。
I let the computer pick them.
我让电脑挑选它们。
But they're etched in my mind.
但它们却深深地刻在了我的脑海里。
3, 8, 9, 37, 38, 48.
3、8、9、37、38、48。
Not that long ago, Todd Powell won $27 million from the Florida State Lottery.
不久前，托德·鲍威尔 (Todd Powell) 从佛罗里达州彩票中赢得了 2700 万美元。
Up until that point, he made his living working long hours in the ice and snow on the Alaska pipeline.
在那之前，他一直在冰天雪地的阿拉斯加管道上长时间工作以维持生计。
He sat on the bed the morning he won watching them draw the numbers on television, his bags packed to head north to Alaska.
获胜的那天早上，他坐在床上看着电视上的抽签，他收拾好行李准备向北前往阿拉斯加。
I tried to wake my wife up to tell her that I'd hit the lottery.
我试图叫醒我的妻子，告诉她我中了彩票。
And when I woke her up, she thought I was fibbing to her.
当我叫醒她时，她认为我在对她撒谎。
She grabbed the comforter and threw it over her head and just didn't want to hear it.
她抓起被子，扔到头上，就是不想听。
And I told her, I said, well, if you will look at my heart, you can tell that I'm not fibbing to you.
我告诉她，我说，好吧，如果你看看我的心，你就会知道我没有对你撒谎。
And you could actually see it in my neck beating.
你实际上可以从我脖子上的跳动中看到这一点。
And I felt like it was just fixing to bounce clean out of my chest.
我感觉它即将从我的胸口弹跳出来。
Money changes things.
金钱改变一切。
And a lot of money changes a lot of things.
很多钱会改变很多事情。
People Todd had known his whole life were nervous talking with him.
托德一生所认识的人与他交谈时都很紧张。
Strangers wrote asking for money, sometimes for a lot of money.
陌生人写信索要钱，有时甚至是很多钱。
There were family troubles.
家庭出现了麻烦。
Right after the lottery, the woman that I was married to just-- I started seeing changes, dramatic changes.
抽签结束后，我的妻子就开始看到变化，巨大的变化。
And the fact that she kind of looked at it a little different than I.
事实上，她的看法与我有点不同。
We had only been married seven months.
我们结婚才七个月。
And she just looked at it as, well, there was this big pile of money there that I can just do whatever I want to with it.
她只是看着它，嗯，那里有一大堆钱，我可以用它做任何我想做的事。
He couldn't sleep at night, couldn't eat, lost 26 pounds.
他晚上睡不着，吃不下东西，体重减轻了26磅。
He only weighed 154 when he won the lottery.
中奖时他的体重只有154。
There were fights over money with his wife.
与妻子因钱发生争执。
They got divorced.
他们离婚了。
He lent friends money who not only never paid it back, they avoided him.
他借钱给朋友，朋友不但不还，还躲着他。
They got indignant when he asked for the money, saying he couldn't possibly miss a few thousand bucks.
当他要钱时，他们很愤怒，说他不可能少了几千块钱。
It changes you, all that.
它改变了你，这一切。
I may have gotten a little harder.
我可能变得更难了一点。
I don't know, because a lot of times now, when people start with the bleeding heart stuff, you know what's fixing to follow.
我不知道，因为现在很多时候，当人们从流血的心开始时，你知道接下来要做什么。
And it kind of just makes you where your brick wall goes up in your own mind, how this brick wall starts to form.
它会让你在你自己的脑海中知道你的砖墙在哪里，这堵砖墙是如何开始形成的。
Well, today on our program, windfalls and the power of money for good and bad over our own lives.
好吧，今天我们的节目是关于意外之财和金钱对我们生活的影响，无论是好是坏。
Act One, Reservations.
第一幕，预订。
A story of an entire community that is turning its back on a fortune, and why that might not last.
这是一个关于整个社区背弃财富的故事，以及为什么这种情况可能不会持续下去。
Act Two, But Baby It's Cold Outside.
第二幕，但是宝贝，外面很冷。
Writer Dan Savage, and how a windfall check he got in the mail is hurting his family life.
作家丹·萨维奇（Dan Savage），以及他邮寄来的意外之财支票如何损害了他的家庭生活。
Act Three, Money is Good.
第三幕，钱是好东西。
How one woman learned to stop worrying and start spending, spending, spending.
一位女性如何学会停止担忧并开始花钱、花钱、花钱。
Act Four, Pot of Gold.
第四幕，第一桶金。
Scott Carrier tells the story of someone's life that improved with a huge insurance settlement even though the money never arrived.
斯科特·卡里尔（Scott Carrier）讲述了一个人的生活通过巨额保险赔偿而得到改善的故事，尽管这笔钱从未到账。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Reservations.
第一幕，预订。
Nine years ago, a Native American tribe in Minnesota, the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe, built a casino.
九年前，明尼苏达州的一个美洲原住民部落，奥及布韦的米勒湖部落，建造了一家赌场。
The reservation had been poor for a century.
一个世纪以来，预订情况一直很差。
Soon they were the second biggest tourist attraction in the state, second only to the Mall of America.
很快，它们就成为该州第二大旅游景点，仅次于美国购物中心。
Soon they had hundreds of millions of dollars.
很快他们就拥有了数亿美元。
And it's unclear what to do with all that cash.
目前还不清楚如何处理这些现金。
Alix Spiegel visited.
阿利克斯·斯皮格尔来访。
It's 8 o'clock on a Monday morning, and there are 1,000 people on the floor of the Grand Casino.
周一早上 8 点，大赌场的地板上有 1000 人。
1,000 people have showered, brushed their hair and teeth, put on clothing, and traveled-- some of them significant distances-- to the Grand, where they're now pouring money into slot machines with an enthusiasm I don't usually associate with 8:00 AM Monday morning.
1,000 人洗完澡，刷了头发和牙齿，穿上衣服，然后（其中一些人走了很长的距离）来到 Grand，他们现在正以一种我通常不会在周一早上 8:00 联想到的热情将钱投入老虎机。
I've been told a number of times by the people running the Grand that I'm not supposed to interview casino patrons with my tape machine.
格兰德酒店的经营者多次告诉我，我不应该用录音机采访赌场顾客。
So I change a five and walk around with a bucket full of nickels, trying to look friendly.
于是我换了一张五分钱，提着装满五分钱的桶四处走动，试图表现得友善。
I sit down next to a gray-haired man at a quarter slot and get as far as hello before he tells me to go away, I'm gambling, which I do.
我在四分之一槽旁边坐下来，在一个白发男子旁边打了个招呼，然后他让我走开，我在赌博，我确实这么做了。
I walk a couple aisles over and take a seat next to a woman with two small pictures of her grandchildren propped up on the deck of her slot machine.
我走过几条过道，坐在一位女士旁边，她的老虎机上放着两张她孙子的小照片。
Her name is Donna.
她的名字叫唐娜。
She's 67 and travels every Monday from her home an hour way to gamble at the Grand.
她今年 67 岁，每周一从家出发，驱车一小时前往格兰德赌场赌博。
She plays from 8:00 in the morning until 2:00 in the afternoon and then returns home to work at her job as a bartender for the legion club.
她从早上 8:00 一直演奏到下午 2:00，然后回家继续在军团俱乐部担任调酒师。
A couple times a month, she'll come to the casino with her husband, the farmer.
每个月她都会和她的农民丈夫一起来赌场几次。
And even though she's 67 and he's 74, they'll stay up all night gambling.
尽管她已经 67 岁，他已经 74 岁了，他们还是会熬夜赌博。
On special occasions, like their birthday, they'll rent a room at the hotel next door.
在特殊场合，比如生日，他们会在隔壁的酒店租一个房间。
She tells me that the casino relaxes her.
她告诉我赌场让她放松。
She says she saw on TV that they pump special oxygen through the air ducts in the ceiling, and she thinks this might have something to do with it.
她说她在电视上看到他们通过天花板的空气管道泵送特殊的氧气，她认为这可能与此有关。
I'm here to do a story about the Grand Casino, about how the nickels pushed into slot machines by people like Donna have changed life on the Ojibwe reservation.
我来这里是为了写一个关于大赌场的故事，讲述像唐娜这样的人把镍币塞进老虎机如何改变了奥及布韦保留地的生活。
So I try to interest Donna in a conversation about the people she's been feeding her paycheck to for the last two years.
因此，我试图引起唐娜的兴趣，谈论她在过去两年里一直向她提供薪水的人。
Donna isn't interested.
唐娜不感兴趣。
She doesn't even remember the name of the tribe which owns the casino.
她甚至不记得拥有赌场的部落的名字。
She, like the other thousand people sitting on the casino floor, is just here looking for easy money.
她和坐在赌场地板上的其他数千人一样，只是在这里寻找轻松赚钱的机会。
Of course, the odds are stacked in the house's favor.
当然，赔率对众议院有利。
So their pursuit of this windfall simply produces a windfall for someone else, the Ojibwe tribe.
因此，他们对这笔意外之财的追求只是为其他人——奥及布威部落——带来了意外之财。
I try to talk about this with Donna as she works the buttons of her Wheel of Fortune slot.
当唐娜按下命运之轮老虎机的按钮时，我尝试与她谈论这个问题。
But she just nods, keeps her eyes glued to the spinning video screen in front of her, and lets me talk.
但她只是点点头，眼睛盯着面前旋转的视频屏幕，让我说话。
OK, listen.
好的，听着。
This is brand new again.
这又是全新的了。
This road's never been here.
这条路从来没有来过。
So this is brand new here, a two-lane road and tar, nice and tar.
所以这里是全新的，一条两车道的道路和柏油路，很好，柏油路。
These are some of our casino homes, built from casino profits.
这些是我们的一些赌场之家，是用赌场利润建造的。
A lot of duplexes in this neighborhood.
这个街区有很多双层公寓。
This is brand new neighborhood section.
这是全新的社区部分。
Kenny Weyaus takes me on a tour of the Ojibwe reservation to show me what's new.
肯尼·韦尤斯带我参观了奥及布威保留地，向我展示了新事物。
A lot is new.
很多都是新的。
We drive past new duplex homes on a new road with new curbing and new street lighting.
我们开车经过一条新道路上的新复式住宅，有新的路缘石和新的街道照明。
We turn at the new water tower and circle the new spiritual center.
我们转向新的水塔，绕着新的精神中心转一圈。
Kenny is a member of the Ojibwe tribe and a tour guide at the Native American museum.
肯尼是奥及布威部落的成员，也是美洲原住民博物馆的导游。
Our interview was set up by a PR guy who told me that Kenny knows as much about the Ojibwe as anyone in the tribe.
我们的采访是由一位公关人员安排的，他告诉我肯尼和部落中的任何人一样了解奥及布威人。
He's 57 and has lived away from the reservation only twice, once after high school, when he moved south to train in the army, and again after his marriage, when the reservation economy was so poor he had to move to Minneapolis to find work.
他今年 57 岁，只离开保留地生活过两次，一次是高中毕业后，他搬到南方去参军，另一次是结婚后，当时保留地的经济非常糟糕，他不得不搬到明尼阿波利斯找工作。
All of this new dazzles Kenny.
所有这些新事物都让肯尼眼花缭乱。
It means, among other things, that he won't have to move away from the reservation again.
除其他外，这意味着他不必再次离开保留地。
And as we pass each new building, he recites the date of its opening.
当我们经过每座新建筑时，他都会背诵其开业日期。
The new museum, May 18, 1996.
新博物馆，1996 年 5 月 18 日。
The new health clinic, December 12, 1992.
新健康诊所，1992 年 12 月 12 日。
We idle in the parking lot of the new lower school and admire the new playground, then drive down the street to yet another new cedar wood building.
我们在新的低年级的停车场闲逛，欣赏新的操场，然后沿着街道开车到另一座新的雪松木建筑。
And right up here to our left is our high school.
我们的左边就是我们的高中。
Yeah, that's a new one too.
是的，这也是新的。
That came up just the same time as that lower school.
这与那所较低的学校同时出现。
And if you go inside, they got a new-- just like your church windows, they got that different colors.
如果你进去，他们会得到一个新的——就像你教堂的窗户一样，他们有不同的颜色。
And they got those Indian designs up on the roof there, skylight.
他们把那些印度设计放在屋顶上，天窗上。
So it's beautiful inside, when you look up through that dome there.
所以当你透过那个圆顶往上看时，里面很漂亮。
As we circle to exit the school parking lot, I notice a freestanding, double-wide trailer tucked just behind the school's southern wing.
当我们绕圈离开学校停车场时，我注意到学校南翼后面藏着一辆独立式双宽拖车。
It has colored paper pasted to its windows and some chipper looking signs.
它的窗户上贴着彩纸，还有一些看起来很整洁的标志。
That's the old school, yeah.
这就是老学校，是的。
It used to be part of the old school.
它曾经是旧学校的一部分。
Trailer homes like that, yeah.
像这样的拖车屋，是的。
That's what they had for school, mobile homes like that connected.
这就是他们为学校、移动房屋所拥有的设施。
Back before '90, everybody lived in Minneapolis, or they were working in Minneapolis.
早在 90 年代之前，每个人都住在明尼阿波利斯，或者他们在明尼阿波利斯工作。
And nobody wanted to come back here.
没有人想回到这里。
If you brought somebody here, you didn't want to show somebody, oh, this is my home here, kind of run down.
如果你带人来这里，你不想让别人看到，哦，这是我的家，有点破旧。
So that's kind of degrading, actually.
所以这实际上是一种侮辱。
You didn't want to tell anybody where you lived.
你不想告诉任何人你住在哪里。
[INAUDIBLE].
[听不清]。
Since the casino came in, now everybody and everything's looking good.
自从赌场进来后，现在一切都看起来很好。
And today, even our employees are-- see, our minimum wage is $7 here.
今天，甚至我们的员工——看，我们这里的最低工资是 7 美元。
Before the Grand Casino came in, I think minimum wage was $3 to $4 an hour.
在大赌场到来之前，我认为最低工资是每小时 3 到 4 美元。
Then we drive deeper into the reservation.
然后我们深入预订。
We pass a dilapidated trailer and another, some HUD housing.
我们经过一辆破旧的拖车和另一辆 HUD 房屋。
What's that?
那是什么？
Kenny That's a trailer house.
肯尼 那是一个拖车屋。
A lot of people still got-- you still got so many here, people that live in old beat down trailer house, beat down homes and all of that.
很多人仍然——这里仍然有很多人，人们住在破旧的拖车房、破旧的房屋等等。
Not everybody here's got model homes.
并不是这里的每个人都有样板房。
Kenny doesn't say much about the broken-down trailers and public housing.
肯尼没有过多谈论破损的拖车和公共住房。
But just across from the comfortable looking, middle-class homes the casino built, there are beat up trailers, trash-strewn yards, little kids walking barefoot around broken glass in a driveway, and the general feeling that things aren't going so well.
但就在赌场建造的那些看起来舒适的中产阶级住宅对面，有破旧的拖车、垃圾遍地的院子、小孩子赤脚在车道上的碎玻璃周围行走，人们普遍感觉事情进展得不太顺利。
The Niagara of money pouring into slot machines across the street clearly isn't reaching everyone.
尼亚加拉大瀑布般的资金涌入街对面的老虎机，显然并没有惠及所有人。
And this, in a funny way, is the choice of the tribal government, which takes a moment to explain.
有趣的是，这是部落政府的选择，这需要一些时间来解释。
Of the 545 Native American tribes in the US, about 226 have gambling casinos.
在美国 545 个美洲原住民部落中，约有 226 个拥有赌场。
But most of these operations are too far away from a concentrated population to make any real money.
但这些业务大多距离人口集中地区太远，无法赚到真正的钱。
Only a few, around 5%, generate significant profits.
只有少数（大约 5%）能够产生可观的利润。
The Ojibwe are one of these tribes.
奥及布威人就是这些部落之一。
So are the Mashantucket Pequot in Connecticut and the Ojibwe's neighbors, the Shakopee tribe, who have a casino just south of Minneapolis at Prior Lake.
康涅狄格州的马山塔基特·佩科特族和奥及布威族的邻居沙科皮部落也是如此，他们在明尼阿波利斯以南的普赖尔湖拥有一家赌场。
But the Pequot and the Shakopee are doing something very different with their windfalls.
但佩克特家族和沙科皮家族利用他们的意外之财做了一些非常不同的事情。
They're distributing the profits to their members on a per capita basis, which means that each month, every tribal member gets a check in the mail for their fair share of annual casino profits.
他们将利润按人均分配给成员，这意味着每个月，每个部落成员都会收到一张邮寄的支票，以支付他们在赌场年度利润中的公平份额。
The tribes don't publicize how large these checks are.
部落没有公布这些支票的金额有多大。
Published accounts, which the Shakopee won't confirm, say that each Shakopee member gets $40,000 to $50,000 a month, which is a lot of money.
沙科皮未予证实的公开报道称，每个沙科皮会员每月可获得 40,000 至 50,000 美元，这是一大笔钱。
And I should say here, that the Ojibwe tribe could never offer their members a payment of that size.
我应该在这里说，奥及布威部落永远无法向其成员提供如此数额的报酬。
Although it'd still be a lot by anyone's standards, conservative estimates are about $10,000 per year for every man, woman, and child in the tribe.
尽管按照任何人的标准来看，这仍然是很多，但保守估计，部落中每个男人、女人和儿童每年的收入约为 10,000 美元。
I ask Kenny if he'd prefer a system of per capita payments instead of a program of investing in buildings and social programs, as the Ojibwe have.
我问肯尼，他是否更喜欢人均支付制度，而不是像奥及布威人那样投资建筑和社会项目。
And he doesn't pause at all.
他根本没有停顿。
He doesn't want the money.
他不想要钱。
I don't think it would be good around here.
我不认为这里会很好。
We go like that, we're going back in the old ways, I think, where you didn't even do nothing.
我们就这样走，我想，我们会回到原来的方式，你甚至什么也没做。
That's how come we believe in that.
这就是为什么我们相信这一点。
It goes back into infrastructure instead of getting a monthly check every month or something like that.
它回到基础设施，而不是每月进行每月检查或类似的事情。
Over the next couple days, I go out with a number of people from the tribe, nice, newly middle-class people set up for me by the PR man who's acting as my liaison.
在接下来的几天里，我和一些来自部落的人出去了，他们是由担任我联络人的公关人员为我安排的友善的新中产阶级人士。
And whenever I ask them whether they'd want more money, say, in the form of per capita payments, their faces tighten, answers get general, and they all say no. They don't want per capita.
每当我问他们是否想要更多的钱，比如说，以人均付款的形式，他们的脸都绷紧了，答案很笼统，他们都说不。他们不想要人均。
They want everything to stay the way it is.
他们希望一切都保持原样。
Like Kenny, they allude to the old ways.
和肯尼一样，他们也提到了古老的方式。
And I come to understand that the old ways is a euphemism for joblessness, alcoholism, and drug abuse.
我逐渐明白，旧的生活方式是失业、酗酒和吸毒的委婉说法。
It's a difficult and embarrassing thing to talk about because it plays into ugly stereotypes about Native Americans and alcoholism.
谈论这是一件困难且尴尬的事情，因为它助长了人们对美洲原住民和酗酒的丑陋刻板印象。
Because they're basically saying they think they could handle the money, but they worry that their family and neighbors can't.
因为他们基本上是在说他们认为自己可以处理这笔钱，但他们担心家人和邻居处理不了。
When I press one woman to articulate what she thinks will happen if they distribute the money, she tells me to turn off the tape recorder, then leans forward until I can see the pores in her nose.
当我催促一位女士说出她认为如果他们分发这笔钱会发生什么时，她告诉我关掉录音机，然后身体向前倾，直到我能看到她鼻子上的毛孔。
Easy money, she tells me, is dangerous.
她告诉我，轻松赚钱是危险的。
And this is where our interview ends.
我们的采访到此结束。
Early in the evening, I go driving on the reservation.
傍晚时分，我开车去预订。
In front of a row of HUD homes, I find two teenagers, Marcus and Wesley.
在一排 HUD 住宅前，我发现了两个青少年，马库斯和韦斯利。
As I drive up, they're running circles around an older man who's clearly inebriated.
当我开车过去时，他们正在围着一位显然喝醉了的老人转圈。
They're laughing, waving their hands in his face, taunting him as he tries to make his way down the street.
当他试图沿着街道走时，他们笑着，在他脸上挥舞着双手，嘲笑他。
I roll down my window and ask what they're up to, and the smaller one, Marcus, tells me they're terrorizing drunks.
我摇下车窗，问他们在做什么，小个子马库斯告诉我，他们正在恐吓醉汉。
So I get out of my rental, and we stand together on the street, watching the cars pass, talking about the casino, basically marking time until another victim stumbles by.
于是我走出出租屋，我们一起站在街上，看着汽车驶过，谈论赌场，基本上是原地踏步，直到另一个受害者跌跌撞撞地经过。
Marcus and Wesley aren't impressed with what the casino money has accomplished for their community.
马库斯和韦斯利对赌场资金为他们的社区所取得的成就并不满意。
They hold forth on the thesis that everyone on the reservation is still poor and still tired of not having anything and that everyone except the government wants per capita payments.
他们提出的论点是，保留地里的每个人仍然很穷，仍然厌倦了一无所有，除了政府之外，每个人都希望按人均付款。
As we talk, another old man staggers down the street towards us.
当我们说话时，另一位老人摇摇晃晃地沿着街道向我们走来。
He has two young girls with him.
他身边有两个年轻女孩。
The older one holds his upper arm tightly and tries to steer him away from the curb.
年长的人紧紧抓住他的上臂，试图把他带离路边。
The younger ones skips behind and in front of him, almost under his feet.
年轻的孩子们在他的前后跳来跳去，几乎就在他的脚下。
For instance, look at him.
举个例子，看看他。
He needs per capitas.
他需要人均。
He's homeless.
他无家可归。
If he got capita payments, he could rent a house.
如果他得到人均付款，他就可以租房子。
Ask him what he thinks.
问他的想法。
Humpy, what do you think about the res?
汉皮，你对资源有什么看法？
Thank you.
谢谢。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Wesley Well done, [?
韦斯利 干得好，[？
Ardiro.
阿迪罗。
?]
？]
You leave my uncle alone.
你别管我叔叔了。
Get away from him.
离他远点。
We wait some more.
我们再等一下。
Every time a car goes by, Marcus waves at the person inside.
每次有车经过，马库斯都会向车内的人挥手致意。
I ask who it is, and he tells me it's his cousin.
我问他是谁，他告诉我是他的表弟。
Who is that?
那是谁？
Marcus That is my cousin, Joe.
马库斯 那是我的表弟乔。
Two cousins pass.
两个堂兄弟过去了。
Three cousins pass.
三个堂兄弟过去了。
Four cousins pass.
四个堂兄弟过去了。
Who's that guy?
那个人是谁？
Marcus Them are my cousins Ernie and Rodney.
马库斯 他们是我的表兄弟厄尼和罗德尼。
Pretty soon another figure staggers down the road in our direction.
很快，另一个人影摇摇晃晃地沿着道路朝我们的方向走来。
It's Wesley's cousin, Billy.
这是韦斯利的表弟比利。
You could ask him what he thinks about the casino and stuff.
你可以问他对赌场之类的事情有什么看法。
Will you ask him?
你会问他吗？
Marcus Would you like to answer some questions?
马库斯 你想回答一些问题吗？
Shoot, about what?
射击，关于什么？
Wesley The casino and how you think the res should give per caps.
韦斯利赌场以及您认为资源应如何给予每上限。
They know they owe us.
他们知道他们欠我们的。
Bottom line is [BLEEP].
底线是[BLEEP]。
What do you mean?
你是什么意思？
Billy What I mean by that is they should be giving us something back.
比利 我的意思是他们应该回馈我们一些东西。
You don't think you're getting anything?
你不认为你得到了什么吗？
No, we're not.
不，我们不是。
Well, check us out man.
好吧，看看我们吧伙计。
There's like three families living in one house.
一栋房子里住着三个家庭。
Like that house, they got, like, 11 kids and [BLEEP].
就像那所房子一样，他们有 11 个孩子和 [BLEEP]。
Billy used to work at the casino but got laid off.
比利曾经在赌场工作，但被解雇了。
Now he lives with a family he says can't support him and gets by on welfare checks.
现在他和一个家庭住在一起，他说这个家庭无法养活他，靠福利支票度日。
Everyone agrees that about half the tribe wants per capitas.
每个人都同意，大约一半的部落想要人均。
And it's people like Billy, the people who are worst off, who tend to want them the most.
而像比利这样处境最糟糕的人往往最想要它们。
People think we got it made down here.
人们认为我们是在这里制造出来的。
We do not got it made.
我们没有做到这一点。
It's hard to live here.
住在这里很难。
Ever since that casino got here, it's harder for us to live, because we're expecting to live but we're not.
自从那个赌场来了之后，我们的生活就更加困难了，因为我们期待着活下去，但我们却没有。
After a while, we have to start thinking about, where's all this money going that we got.
一段时间后，我们必须开始思考，我们得到的这些钱都去哪儿了。
That's what I want to know.
这就是我想知道的。
You know, this is a thankless job.
要知道，这是一份吃力不讨好的工作。
It's--
这是——
Marge Anderson is the chief of the Ojibwe tribe.
玛吉·安德森是奥及布威部落的酋长。
She's a small woman who sits in a large office with all the props of the executive around her, a small golf green, a big mahogany desk, a mug with the appropriate observation about where the buck stops, and pictures.
她是个身材矮小的女人，坐在一间大办公室里，周围有高管的所有道具：一个小高尔夫球场、一张大桃花心木桌子、一个杯子，上面有关于责任停止的适当观察，还有照片。
Marge with Bill Clinton, Marge with Bruce Springsteen, Marge smiling with Johnny Cash.
玛姬和比尔·克林顿，玛姬和布鲁斯·斯普林斯汀，玛姬和约翰尼·卡什微笑。
Marge has been tribal chief since '91, when the casino opened.
自 91 年赌场开业以来，玛吉一直担任部落首领。
She's the person who has presided over the tribe's economic boom.
她是带领部落经济繁荣的人。
The person who built the roads and built the schools, and through sheer force of will, made the reservation a much better place than it was 10 years ago.
修建道路和学校的人，凭借纯粹的意志力，使保留地变得比十年前更好。
She's also the main opponent of distributing profits through per capita payments, though it's such a sensitive issue right now that when I ask her about it, she tells me to turn off my tape recorder.
她也是按人均付款分配利润的主要反对者，尽管现在这是一个非常敏感的问题，当我问她这个问题时，她告诉我关掉录音机。
Finally, I get her to say this on tape--
最后，我让她在录音中说出这句话——
You know.
你知道。
I see what's happening in these other communities, where you have alcohol problems, you have drug problems, you have just dependency problems where I think it's self-defeating.
我看到其他社区正在发生的事情，那里有酗酒问题、吸毒问题、依赖性问题，我认为这是弄巧成拙的。
Marge knows that many people in the tribe want per caps.
玛吉知道部落里很多人都想要按上限。
She even knows this may cost her her job.
她甚至知道这可能会让她失去工作。
In the last election, the tribe voted in a new secretary treasurer who ran on a per capita platform, promising to give more casino money directly to tribal members.
在上次选举中，部落投票选举了一位以人均平台竞选的新秘书财务长，承诺将更多的赌场资金直接给予部落成员。
And Marge is worried that he might disrupt the work she's accomplished.
玛吉担心他可能会破坏她已经完成的工作。
And she's getting tired.
她越来越累了。
She sighs and tells me that her job takes too much time.
她叹了口气，告诉我她的工作占用了太多时间。
She's frequently away on weekends.
她周末经常外出。
She says she's afraid that her grandchildren won't know her.
她说她担心她的孙子们不认识她。
In addition to the problem of trying to convince a group of people who are poor that they should not vote themselves more money, she's now fending off her white neighbors who are threatening to take away the casino and the casino profits entirely.
除了试图说服一群穷人不应该给自己投更多钱的问题之外，她现在还要抵御威胁要完全夺走赌场和赌场利润的白人邻居。
If history repeats itself, then one of these days, the casino's going to be gone.
如果历史重演，那么有一天，赌场就会消失。
Some way, somehow, somebody's going to find a way to take it away from us again.
无论如何，有人会找到办法再次把它从我们身边夺走。
You think that?
你这么认为吗？
Marge Anderson I really believe that, because of the way things are going right now.
玛吉·安德森（Marge Anderson）我真的相信这一点，因为目前事情的进展情况。
Now we have a compact with the State of Minnesota that allows us to do this.
现在我们与明尼苏达州签订了一项协议，使我们能够做到这一点。
And the compact is perpetual.
而且契约是永久的。
There's no ending date on it.
上面没有结束日期。
And now you have those that want to renegotiate.
现在有些人想要重新谈判。
Let's open up that compact.
让我们打开那个契约。
And you know what?
你知道吗？
What they want to open up the contract so they can break it again.
他们想要打开合同，这样他们就可以再次打破它。
And one of the things that these negotiators said was, had we known these tribes were going to be that successful, we would never have signed a compact with them.
这些谈判代表说的一件事是，如果我们知道这些部落会如此成功，我们永远不会与他们签署协议。
So what does that say?
那么这说明了什么？
They wanted us to fail again?
他们希望我们再次失败？
I know, it is frustrating.
我知道，这很令人沮丧。
And it just-- I sit here and sometimes I just say, what the heck is the use?
只是——我坐在这里，有时我只是说，这到底有什么用？
In part, it's this possibility, that the casino will be taken away, that gives such urgency to Marge's opposition to per capita payments.
在某种程度上，正是赌场将被夺走的这种可能性，使得玛吉反对按人头付款变得如此紧迫。
She feels the tribe must use every scrap of money that they have to diversify their economy, create an economy that is not dependent on the casino.
她认为部落必须利用他们所拥有的每一点钱来实现经济多元化，创造一个不依赖赌场的经济。
So she's buying pizza franchises and investing in bottled water, and generally pouring the tribe's money into industries which aren't subject to the whims of state legislators.
因此，她购买披萨特许经营权并投资瓶装水，并将部落的资金投入不受州立法者一时兴起的影响的行业。
She feels there is a window here, just a brief sliver of time, before the jealousy of their white neighbors or the innate attraction of easy money overwhelms them.
她觉得这里有一个窗口，只是一小段时间，然后他们就会被白人邻居的嫉妒或轻松赚钱的内在吸引力压垮。
This is what the petition says.
请愿书是这么说的。
It says, we, the band membership, call for a referendum vote for 80-20 or more per capita payment for adult band members in fiscal 1999 and beyond.
它说，我们，乐队成员，呼吁进行公民投票，以在 1999 财年及以后为成年乐队成员支付 80-20 或更多的人均报酬。
When I met Mishkoob, he had just come back from collecting signatures.
当我见到米什库布时，他刚刚收集签名回来。
He had a clipboard with Mille Lacans for Progress written on top and five new names penciled on the petition.
他有一个剪贴板，上面写着“米勒·拉康进步”，请愿书上写着五个新名字。
The PR man at the casino warned me that Mishkoob was a zealot and a radical.
赌场的公关人员警告我，米什库布是一位狂热分子和激进分子。
And when I sit down at his kitchen table, there are charts and graphs everywhere, heaped in piles on the floors, scattered over the desk by the window.
当我坐在他厨房的桌子旁时，到处都是图表和图表，成堆地堆放在地板上，散落在窗边的桌子上。
And then, suspended from a hook on the wall by the desk, an unsteady looking bar chart which tracks the growth of the Ojibwe government's budget.
然后，桌子旁边墙上的挂钩上挂着一张看上去不稳定的条形图，记录着奥及布威政府预算的增长情况。
Mishkoob pounds the kitchen table and makes his argument.
米什库布敲击厨房的桌子并发表了自己的观点。
Everybody else is getting the money but the average band member who owns all this.
除了拥有这一切的普通乐队成员之外，其他人都得到了钱。
See, that's the thing that band members need to get through their thick skulls, is that this is all theirs.
看，这就是乐队成员需要克服他们厚重的头骨的事情，那就是这都是他们的。
It's their casino.
这是他们的赌场。
It's their hotel.
这是他们的酒店。
For every poor Mille Lac person on the reservation now, there's probably no less than three non-Indians working, telling us what to do, where to go, how we're going to do it, what's the future, what's our plan, what store to buy, what bank to buy, what gas station to buy, how much dirt is needed.
现在，对于保留地里每一个贫穷的米勒拉克人来说，可能有不少于三个非印第安人在工作，告诉我们要做什么、去哪里、我们要怎么做、未来是什么、我们的计划是什么、要买什么商店、要买什么银行、要买什么加油站、需要多少泥土。
Everybody else is out there getting paid big bucks of our money because we're the poor clients.
其他人都从我们的钱中得到大笔报酬，因为我们是可怜的客户。
Mishkoob's heard the arguments against per capita.
米什库布听到了反对人均的论点。
He's heard the rumors that other tribes who have tried the per capita system have had problems with boozing or lack of motivation, but dismisses the possibility that these problems will afflict the Ojibwe.
他听说有传言称其他尝试过人均制度的部落都存在酗酒或缺乏动力的问题，但他否认这些问题会困扰奥及布威人的可能性。
I'd like to believe that Mille Lacs is going to be the exception to the rule.
我愿意相信 Mille Lacs 将成为这个规则的例外。
Now, like I keep saying, there's only 1,500 adults.
现在，就像我一直说的，只有 1,500 名成年人。
Now, they're all not going to start taking drugs and start drinking.
现在，他们都不会开始吸毒和酗酒。
Most of them are responsible people.
他们大多数都是有责任心的人。
And given the opportunity, they will make the right choices.
只要有机会，他们就会做出正确的选择。
That night, I run into Marcus, Wesley, and their friend Courtney at the casino, and we all pile into the rental and go cruising.
那天晚上，我在赌场遇到了马库斯、韦斯利和他们的朋友考特尼，我们都租了房子去巡游。
It was supposed to be the first day of school for Marcus and Courtney, but Marcus hasn't enrolled yet, and Courtney got suspended for setting fires in the time out room.
这本来是马库斯和考特尼开学的第一天，但马库斯还没有入学，而考特尼则因在休息室纵火而被停学。
So no one in the car had anything to do in the morning but me.
所以早上车里除了我之外没有人有事可做。
We visit a friend of theirs, Rae Ann, but the boys are restless.
我们拜访了他们的朋友雷·安，但孩子们却焦躁不安。
They want to go riding.
他们想去骑马。
They want to turn donuts in the dirt road behind the casino.
他们想在赌场后面的土路上转动甜甜圈。
They want to go tail whipping down at Moon Lake.
他们想去月湖荡秋千。
They want to do these things in the rental.
他们想在出租屋里做这些事情。
Mostly though, they want me to buy them alcohol.
但大多数情况下，他们希望我给他们买酒。
And who is going to buy?
谁会购买？
I can't buy you liquor.
我不能给你买酒。
I offer McDonald's instead, my treat.
我请麦当劳代替。
There's general approval and we leave Rae Ann and drive north for cheeseburgers.
得到了普遍的认可，我们离开雷安，驱车向北去吃芝士汉堡。
In the car, we talk mostly girls, automobiles, and the supernatural.
在车里，我们谈论的主要是女孩、汽车和超自然现象。
Wesley tells me that ghosts walk the shoulders of the roads at night.
韦斯利告诉我，晚上鬼魂会在路肩上行走。
He says they're all around the woods.
他说他们都在树林里。
In the western part of the reservation, an area called The Point is filled with them at night.
在保留地的西部，一个叫做“The Point”的区域在晚上就挤满了它们。
Finally, we finish our McDonald's run and drive down to a park by the lake to eat.
最后，我们结束了麦当劳之旅，开车去湖边的公园吃饭。
The park is empty, just a picnic table, some scattered trash, and us.
公园里空无一人，只有一张野餐桌、一些散落的垃圾和我们。
We sit together in the car, eating sweet and salty food.
我们一起坐在车里，吃着甜的和咸的食物。
And when we finish, I tell them about my conversation with Marge, about how she wants to save the casino money.
当我们结束时，我告诉他们我和玛吉的谈话，关于她想如何节省赌场的钱。
So that if the white people take the casino away, there will still be industry on the res.
这样，即使白人把赌场拿走，这片土地上仍然会有工业。
Her fear that people will take the money and blow it on drink and drugs.
她担心人们会拿着这些钱去酗酒和吸毒。
Marcus and Wesley are quiet, but Courtney pipes up.
马库斯和韦斯利很安静，但考特尼却大声说道。
I know I'd be spending all my money on liquor.
我知道我会把所有的钱都花在酒上。
So do you think that they're doing the right thing?
那么你认为他们做的事情正确吗？
Probably, yeah.
可能是的。
Alix Spiegel Who would you vote for, somebody who said that they would give you per capita or somebody who said that they wouldn't?
阿利克斯·斯皮格尔（Alix Spiegel）你会投票给谁，是那些说会给你人均收入的人，还是那些说不会的人？
Someone who said they would, I'd vote for them.
有人说他们会，我就会投票给他们。
Even though you think that if you did get the money, you probably wouldn't get a job?
即使你认为如果你拿到了钱，你可能找不到工作？
Yep.
是的。
Alix Spiegel And even though you said that you also think that they're doing the right thing?
阿利克斯·斯皮格尔：即使你说你也认为他们正在做正确的事情？
Confusing.
令人困惑。
Alix Spiegel --that is kind of confusing.
阿利克斯·斯皮格尔——这有点令人困惑。
Yeah.
是的。
Alix Spiegel There's a wall of winners at the Grand Casino.
阿利克斯·斯皮格尔 大赌场里有一堵获奖者墙。
It's covered ceiling to ground with framed photographs of jackpot winners.
从天花板到地面都贴满了大奖得主的镶框照片。
Most of them look frenzied with happiness.
他们中的大多数看起来都幸福得疯狂。
They hold fans of money over open mouths, balance oversized checks on their hips.
他们张开嘴，捧着金钱的扇子，在臀部挂着超大的支票。
And in the middle of the wall of photos, there's a picture frame, the same size and shape as the others, with a mirrored surface, where the winner's picture would be, and the words, this could be you, written in block lettering.
在照片墙的中间，有一个相框，大小和形状与其他相框相同，镜面，上面放着获胜者的照片，并用大写字母写着“这可能是你”。
It's a hard message to resist.
这是一个难以抗拒的信息。
[MUSIC - "AMERICA" BY LITTLE JACK MELODY AND HIS YOUNG TURKS]
[音乐 - 小杰克旋律和他的年轻土耳其人的“美国”]
Act Two, But Baby It's Cold Outside.
第二幕，但是宝贝，外面很冷。
Now this story of how a sudden influx of money affected one otherwise happy home, that of writer Dan Savage in Seattle.
现在这个故事讲述的是突然涌入的金钱如何影响了西雅图作家丹·萨维奇（Dan Savage）的一个原本幸福的家庭。
A warning to some listeners, Dan mentions the fact that he's a homosexual in the upcoming story.
丹在接下来的故事中提到了他是同性恋的事实，这是对一些听众的警告。
The check came in the mail.
支票邮寄过来了。
I didn't even get to see it, never got to hold it in my hand and marvel at the string of zeroes that came before the decimal point.
我什至没有看到它，从来没有把它握在手里并对小数点前的一串零感到惊讶。
My boyfriend Terry deposited the check as if it were any old check that came in the mail to our house.
我的男朋友特里将支票存入银行，就好像它是邮寄到我们家的任何旧支票一样。
Our money goes straight into our joint checking account, so I never got to see our check.
我们的钱直接存入我们的联合支票账户，所以我从来没有看到过我们的支票。
But this wasn't like any of our other checks.
但这与我们的其他检查不同。
This was the single largest check ever made out in my name that didn't arrive in a yellow envelope with Ed McMahon's picture on it.
这是有史以来以我的名义开出的最大单张支票，但它没有装在带有埃德·麦克马洪照片的黄色信封中。
I write a sex advice column.
我写了一个性建议专栏。
And a book publisher got this crazy idea that they might make money for themselves by publishing a collection of my old columns.
一家图书出版商有了一个疯狂的想法，他们可以通过出版我的旧专栏集来为自己赚钱。
On the expectation that they would make money, the publisher gave me some money.
出版商期望他们能赚钱，所以给了我一些钱。
I rewrote my old columns, and shortly before the book came out, they sent me a check.
我重写了我的旧专栏，在这本书出版前不久，他们给我寄了一张支票。
I don't have it in me to tell you how much this check was for.
我没有能力告诉你这张支票的金额。
I couldn't stand to hear from people that I got paid too much or too little.
我无法忍受别人说我的工资太多或太少。
And it's hard for me to talk about money anyway.
无论如何，我很难谈论金钱。
Money was scarce when I was a kid.
我小时候钱很匮乏。
My parents had four kids in Catholic schools and braces, and paying for it all on a Chicago cop's salary was not easy.
我的父母有四个孩子在天主教学校上学，还戴着牙套，用芝加哥警察的工资来支付这一切并不容易。
Conversations about money were unpleasant.
关于金钱的谈话并不愉快。
My family avoided talking about money just like we avoided talking about how drunk Grandma always seemed to be.
我的家人避免谈论金钱，就像我们避免谈论祖母总是喝醉的样子一样。
So I can't bring myself to tell you how much this windfall came to.
所以我无法告诉你这笔意外之财有多少。
But I will say this, it was in the low to high-mid five figures, OK?
但我要说的是，它的价格在中低五位数之间，好吗？
It was 10 times as much money as I made the year I turned 30.
这是我 30 岁那年赚的钱的 10 倍。
Enough money to make me feel so monumentally guilty, that after Terry told me the check came, I had to lie down in a dark room for the rest of the afternoon.
足够的钱让我感到非常内疚，特里告诉我支票到了后，我不得不躺在一个黑暗的房间里度过整个下午。
Before the money had a chance to settle into our checking account and get acquainted with what little bit of money was already there, my boyfriend Terry was making plans to spend it and spend all of it.
在这笔钱有机会存入我们的支票账户并了解已经存在的那一点点钱之前，我的男朋友特里正在计划花掉它并花掉所有的钱。
Terry likes spending money, especially our money, which I like to think of as my money, since I earn it.
特里喜欢花钱，尤其是我们的钱，我喜欢将其视为我的钱，因为它是我赚来的。
But I have to push these thoughts out of my head and let Terry regard my money as his.
但我必须把这些想法从脑子里赶出去，让特里把我的钱当作他的。
That's the deal we made when we decided to adopt.
这就是我们决定采用时达成的协议。
Terry quit working to stay at home with the baby for a couple of years.
特里辞去了工作，在家带孩子几年。
We're having a family the old-fashioned way.
我们以老式的方式组建了一个家庭。
Our relationship, with the exception of the two penises thing, is very traditional.
我们的关系，除了两个阴茎之外，都是非常传统的。
Terry stays at home and takes care of the baby.
特里留在家里照顾孩子。
I go out in the world and make the money.
我出去闯荡世界，赚钱。
In other words, a stay-at-home fag, a go-to-work fag, and one little baby's sexual orientation to be determined at a later date.
换句话说，一个呆在家里的同性恋，一个上班的同性恋，以及一个稍后确定的小婴儿的性取向。
As Terry sees it, it's my job to make money, and his job to spend it.
在特里看来，我的工作就是赚钱，他的工作就是花钱。
I, however, cannot spend money.
然而我却不能花钱。
When I was growing up, spending money was just as painful as talking about money.
在我的成长过程中，花钱就像谈论金钱一样痛苦。
More.
更多的。
My mom would drive all four of us out to the Sears at Irving and Western in Chicago at the beginning of the school year.
学年开始时，我妈妈会开车送我们四个人去芝加哥欧文西尔斯店和西尔斯店。
While my brothers and sister ran around oblivious to what was actually going on, sensitive little faggy me would see the tortured look on my mother's face as she realized she couldn't afford back-to-school clothes for all of us.
当我的兄弟姐妹到处乱跑，不知道到底发生了什么时，敏感的小基佬我会看到我母亲脸上痛苦的表情，因为她意识到她买不起我们所有人的返校衣服。
Then I'd watch her pull out her Sears credit card, pray it wasn't maxed out, and hand it to the sales clerk.
然后我会看着她拿出她的西尔斯信用卡，祈祷它没有被刷爆，然后把它交给售货员。
On two occasions when it was just mom and me, her Sears card was maxed out.
有两次，当只有妈妈和我的时候，她的西尔斯卡就被刷爆了。
Seeing my mom turn red and say no when the clerk asked if she could pay cash was heartbreaking.
当店员询问我妈妈是否可以支付现金时，看到我妈妈脸红了并且拒绝了，这真是令人心碎。
To this day, I hate to shop.
直到今天，我还是讨厌购物。
I don't do malls or department stores or boutiques or even catalogs.
我不做购物中心、百货商店、精品店，甚至也不做目录。
High-tech options are no better.
高科技选择也好不到哪儿去。
I get the same sick feeling surfing into the virtual Gap that I get walking into an actual Gap.
当我在虚拟 Gap 中冲浪时，我会产生与走进真实 Gap 时相同的恶心感。
But Terry loves to shop.
但特里喜欢购物。
Traditional enough to begin with, our relationship is never quite so comically traditional as it is when we fight about money.
我们的关系本来就很传统，但从来没有像我们为钱吵架时那样传统得滑稽。
Or I should say, when we fight about how Terry spends money, my money.
或者我应该说，当我们争论特里如何花钱时，我的钱。
After the baby came and Terry stopped working, I thought I'd managed to pound some sense into his head.
孩子出生后，特里停止了工作，我想我已经成功地让他的头脑明白了一些道理。
We couldn't live paycheck to paycheck now that we had a baby.
既然我们有了孩子，我们就不能靠工资过活了。
We needed money in the bank in case the baby got leukemia or something, or if I did.
我们需要在银行存钱，以防婴儿得白血病或其他什么病，或者如果我得了。
Terry saw the logic, and we agreed we would both buy less and save more.
特里看到了其中的逻辑，我们同意少买多存。
That's not how it worked out.
结果不是这样的。
Buying less was easy enough for me, as I never bought much to begin with.
少买对我来说很容易，因为我一开始就没有买太多。
But spending money, including money he did not have, was always Terry's hobby.
但花钱，包括他没有的钱，一直是特里的爱好。
And pretty soon Terry was taking the baby for walks through Old Navy and Nordstrom's and Barnes and Noble.
很快，特里就带着孩子去老海军百货、诺德斯特龙百货和巴诺书店散步。
When the baby was asleep at home, Terry was getting online and buying CDs.
当婴儿在家睡觉时，特里正在上网购买 CD。
Now, this is where it gets comic, sitcom-ic.
现在，这就是它变得滑稽、情景喜剧的地方。
Think Lucy and Ricky.
想想露西和瑞奇。
Since he knows it makes me angry when he spends money on stuff we really don't need, clothes, shoes, music, money we might need if the baby or I get leukemia or something, my boyfriend always hides the things he buys.
因为他知道当他把钱花在我们真正不需要的东西上会让我生气，比如衣服、鞋子、音乐、孩子或我得白血病或其他什么东西时我们可能需要的钱，所以我男朋友总是把他买的东西藏起来。
But since we live in a very small house, there aren't many places to hide things.
但由于我们住在一个很小的房子里，所以没有太多地方可以藏东西。
So I go into a closet looking for my shoes or a coat, and I find a shopping bag hidden behind our old clothes full of brand new clothes, or a box of new CDs.
所以我走进衣柜寻找鞋子或外套，然后发现旧衣服后面藏着一个购物袋，里面装满了全新的衣服，或者一盒新 CD。
A la Ricky Ricardo, I storm into the living room and ask-- and I apologize in advance for my lousy, mock Cuban accent-- honey, what is this, holding up the bag.
像瑞奇·里卡多那样，我冲进客厅问道——我提前为我糟糕的、模仿的古巴口音道歉——亲爱的，这是什么，举起袋子。
A la Lucy Ricardo, Terry denies ever having seen the bag before.
特里否认以前见过这个包，就像露西·里卡多那样。
Well, how did this get into our closet, then, I ask.
那么，我问，这东西是怎么进入我们的衣柜的？
I don't know, pouts Terry.
我不知道，特里撅起嘴。
Oh, Lucy, I exclaim.
哦，露西，我惊呼道。
Whaa, cries Terry.
哇啊，特里叫道。
These were the dynamics at play when the big check arrived, the one with all those zeroes.
当大额支票到达时，这些都是动态的，这张支票上全都是零。
Our windfall took a bad situation and made it much, much worse.
我们的意外之财使糟糕的情况变得更加糟糕。
In my mind, what had been a little gun in Terry's hand, our checking account, became a nuclear weapon.
在我看来，特里手中的小枪，我们的支票账户，变成了核武器。
If it had been up to me, we wouldn't have deposited that check.
如果由我决定，我们就不会存入那张支票。
After all, if we didn't cash it, it couldn't hurt us or change anything.
毕竟，如果我们不兑现，它不会伤害我们或改变任何事情。
So a few days after Terry deposited our check, I did something patriarchal, very Father Knows Best.
因此，特里存入支票几天后，我做了一些重男轻女的事情，非常“父亲最了解”。
Something unlike anything I'd ever done before.
与我以前做过的任何事情都不一样。
Out of our joint checking account, I wrote myself a check for the full amount of my advance and deposited that check in an account only I have access to, my old savings account.
我从我们的联合支票账户中给自己写了一张全额预付款的支票，并将支票存入一个只有我有权使用的账户，即我的旧储蓄账户。
I was afraid that if I left our money in our joint checking account, our windfall would disappear one afternoon while I was at work.
我担心如果我把钱存入我们的联名支票账户，有一天下午我上班的时候我们的意外之财就会消失。
Oh yeah, I knew Terry could spend the entire amount, the whole low to high-mid five figures, at one go.
哦，是的，我知道特里可以一次性花掉全部金额，从低到高的五位数。
I moved the money out of our checking account after Terry made the mistake of telling me what he wanted to buy with it, a new car.
特里错误地告诉我他想用这笔钱买一辆新车，之后我就把钱从我们的支票账户上转走了。
I think that's a bad idea for several reasons.
我认为这是一个坏主意，原因有几个。
First, it appears the planet is about to fall into a worldwide economic recession-cum-depression.
首先，地球似乎即将陷入全球经济衰退兼萧条。
And people tend to need less sex advice in a recession.
在经济衰退期间，人们往往需要更少的性建议。
And I'm concerned that the sex advice business, like liposuction and website design, might dry up if everyone is standing in bread lines or jumping out windows.
我担心，如果每个人都排队领取面包或跳出窗户，性咨询业务（例如抽脂术和网站设计）可能会枯竭。
I'd rather have the money in the bank.
我宁愿把钱存银行。
Secondly, I don't want a car.
其次，我不想要车。
I'm 34.
我34岁了。
I've never owned a car.
我从未拥有过汽车。
I don't know how to drive.
我不知道怎么开车。
I suggested to Terry that we buy a beat-up old car, something priced in the low four figures or high three.
我向特里建议我们买一辆破旧的汽车，价格低四位数或高三位数。
But he insisted we needed a new car, not for us, but for the baby.
但他坚持认为我们需要一辆新车，不是为了我们，而是为了孩子。
We need a safe car, a Volvo or something.
我们需要一辆安全的汽车，沃尔沃什么的。
He promises no more shopping once we've got it.
他保证一旦我们得到它就不再购物。
And if me or the baby does come down with leukemia, Terry pointed out, he'll need a new car to get us back and forth to our chemotherapy appointments.
特里指出，如果我或孩子确实患上了白血病，他将需要一辆新车来载我们往返于化疗预约处。
And he swears that if we buy a car, we'll eat nothing but macaroni and cheese and wear only rags for the rest of our lives.
他发誓，如果我们买了一辆车，我们的余生只会吃通心粉和奶酪，只穿破布。
At war with my inner voices, I agree to spend our money to buy us a car that I can't drive.
在与内心的声音交战时，我同意花钱给我们买一辆我不会开的车。
Terry has started shopping with a vengeance.
特里开始疯狂购物。
He's reading books on smart car buying, visiting all the internet sites, getting advice from people with experience buying cars.
他正在阅读有关智能汽车购买的书籍，访问所有互联网网站，向有汽车购买经验的人寻求建议。
While Terry shops, I worry.
当特里购物时，我很担心。
Early in our relationship, when we first moved in with each other, one of my first official acts as Terry's boyfriend was to pay off his low to mid-low four figure credit card debt.
在我们关系的早期，当我们第一次搬到彼此身边时，我作为特里男朋友的第一个正式行动之一就是偿还他低至中低的四位数信用卡债务。
He was supposed to pay me back a certain amount every month, but after three months, I told him to stop.
他本来每个月还给我一定的金额，但三个月后，我叫他停止。
We'd already merged our checking accounts, so the check he was writing me every month came out of our checking account.
我们已经合并了我们的支票账户，所以他每个月给我写的支票都来自我们的支票账户。
And I would put the money back into our checking account, and Terry would spend it.
我会把钱存回我们的支票账户，特里会花掉它。
It was all a little silly, so I told him to stop, and I joked about having bought myself a boyfriend.
这一切都有点傻，所以我告诉他停下来，我开玩笑说我给自己买了一个男朋友。
As time went on and I started making enough money that we could contemplate Terry not working, I stopped joking about buying a boyfriend, because sometimes I worry that's exactly what I've done.
随着时间的推移，我开始赚到足够的钱，我们可以考虑特里不工作了，我不再开玩笑说要买一个男朋友，因为有时我担心这正是我所做的。
Is Terry just another windfall?
特里只是又一笔横财吗？
I love Terry, but does Terry love me?
我爱特里，但特里爱我吗？
Or does he love not having to worry, for the time being at least, about supporting himself?
或者他喜欢至少暂时不用担心养活自己？
Or if that's why he loves me, is that OK?
或者如果这就是他爱我的原因，可以吗？
There are lots of reasons people love their partners.
人们爱他们的伴侣有很多原因。
And the notion that the only valid one is sexual passion is pretty limiting.
而认为唯一有效的就是性激情的观念是相当有限的。
Maybe part of the reason Terry loves me is because checks come in the mail.
也许特里爱我的部分原因是因为邮寄支票。
And maybe that is OK.
也许这样就可以了。
More than any other force in a relationship, more even than sex-- and I say this to you as a sex columnist-- money always seems to push people to the extremes of their characters.
金钱似乎总是比关系中的任何其他力量，甚至比性更能将人们推向极端，我作为一个性专栏作家对你这么说。
Money turns ordinary people into caricatures of themselves.
金钱把普通人变成了他们自己的漫画。
Money was a large part of what destroyed my parent's marriage.
金钱是毁掉我父母婚姻的很大一部分原因。
And now I find myself worrying that money concerns, who makes it, how it's spent, the pressure I'm under to make more, the pressure Terry's under to spend less, will do long-term harm to my relationship with Terry.
现在我发现自己担心金钱问题，谁赚的钱，如何花，我承受的赚更多钱的压力，特里承受的减少支出的压力，会对我和特里的关系造成长期损害。
Because the problem with money is that money problems are never just about money.
因为金钱的问题在于金钱的问题从来不仅仅是金钱的问题。
They're about who you are.
它们与你是谁有关。
And right now in our house, there are only two options.
现在在我们家，只有两个选择。
You're either Lucy or you're Ricky.
你要么是露西，要么是瑞奇。
If Dan Savage has offended you in some way over the years, if you hate his sex advice column, if you want for some reason to destroy his personal life, you can do it by buying his new book, Savage Love: Straight Answers from America's Most Popular Sex Columnist.
如果丹·萨维奇多年来在某些方面冒犯了你，如果你讨厌他的性建议专栏，如果你出于某种原因想破坏他的个人生活，你可以通过购买他的新书《野蛮的爱：来自美国最受欢迎的性专栏作家的直接答案》来做到这一点。
Coming up, money is good not bad, even money you don't have.
接下来，钱是好东西，不是坏东西，即使你没有钱。
Two case studies.
两个案例研究。
That's in a minute from Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Windfall.
今天的节目，意外之财。
What happens to you when you make the big score, for better and for worse.
当你取得高分时，无论好坏，你会发生什么。
And up until the point in this program, I'd have the moral of every story has been very-- how to say this-- it's been very public radio.
直到这个节目的这一点，我认为每个故事的寓意都是非常——怎么说——这是非常公共的广播。
That is, the lesson of every story has been money is scary.
也就是说，每个故事的教训都是金钱是可怕的。
Money is bad.
钱是坏事。
Money can lead to dangerous feelings and things and make people unhappy.
金钱会带来危险的感觉和事情，让人不快乐。
And so as an antidote to that, in this half of our program, we bring you stories of money actually doing people some good.
因此，作为解决这个问题的方法，在我们节目的这半部分中，我们将为您带来金钱实际上为人们带来好处的故事。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, Money is Good.
第三幕，钱是好东西。
Picture, please, this couple.
请拍下这对夫妇的照片。
When Elizabeth was seven, her father sat her and her 10-year-old sister down at the kitchen table with a bunch of charts, a bar graph, showing what college tuition would cost by the time each of them hit 18, and how much of that Elizabeth and her sister would be expected to pay themselves, and how they should start earning and saving right away.
当伊丽莎白七岁的时候，她的父亲让她和她 10 岁的妹妹坐在厨房的桌子上，手里拿着一堆图表，一个条形图，显示他们每个人到 18 岁时大学学费要花多少钱，伊丽莎白和她的妹妹需要自己支付多少钱，以及他们应该如何立即开始赚钱和储蓄。
And we took this in very, very seriously.
我们非常非常认真地对待这一点。
And then it just sort of started this-- I just remember going to school the next day and sitting next to my friend Sandy Thornberg and telling him about it.
然后事情就这样开始了——我只记得第二天去学校，坐在我的朋友桑迪·索恩伯格旁边，告诉他这件事。
And saying to him-- I was seven years old-- and I said to him, man, how am I ever going to raise that kind of cash?
我对他说——我当时七岁——我对他说，伙计，我怎样才能筹集到那么多现金？
I'm only seven.
我才七岁。
What can I possibly do?
我能做什么？
Meanwhile, four states away, same year, 1978, when Mike was 11, his mom woke up him, his brothers, and his sister in the middle of the night, dragged them down to their dining table where their dad was sitting with some paper lunch bags.
与此同时，1978 年，同一年，迈克 11 岁，在四个州之外，他的妈妈在半夜叫醒了他、他的兄弟和妹妹，把他们拖到餐桌旁，他们的爸爸正坐在餐桌上，手里拿着一些纸质午餐袋。
He kind of drew in a big breath and looked into each of our faces, and reached over and grabbed these paper bags, and dumped about $20,000 in $20 bills out onto the table.
他深深地吸了一口气，看着我们每个人的脸，然后伸手抓住这些纸袋，然后把大约 20,000 美元的 20 美元钞票倒在桌子上。
His dad had been to the races, won the trifecta.
他的父亲参加过比赛，赢得了三连冠。
But he did not put it away for the kid's college or invest it or pay off the mortgage or save anything.
但他并没有把钱存起来供孩子上大学，也没有投资，也没有还清抵押贷款，也没有存任何东西。
We re-carpeted the house.
我们重新给房子铺了地毯。
We bought VCRs.
我们买了录像机。
We bought waterbeds for everybody.
我们给每个人都买了水床。
Waterbeds for everybody is a phrase you almost never hear.
“适合所有人的水床”是一个你几乎从未听说过的短语。
Waterbeds for everybody.
适合所有人的水床。
Not enough.
不够。
Waterbeds for all my friends.
为我所有的朋友提供水床。
Two decades later, this man meets this woman.
二十年后，这个男人遇见了这个女人。
Situation, he'd just lost his job.
情况是，他刚刚失业。
It was rough.
很艰难。
Needed to drink.
需要喝。
Her situation, she had a job tending bar.
她的情况，她有一份工作吧。
And the money thing came up pretty fast.
而且钱的事情来得很快。
Our very first conversation about money, in fact, was the first night I met Liz in the bar.
事实上，我们第一次谈论金钱是我在酒吧遇见莉兹的第一晚。
And my friends and I had gone in to drink.
我和我的朋友们进去喝酒了。
And we drank all night.
我们喝了一整晚。
We drank until 5:00 or 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning.
我们一直喝到早上5:00或6:00或7:00。
And when we were out of money, there was nothing left but lint in our pockets.
当我们没钱的时候，我们的口袋里除了绒毛什么也没有了。
Liz said, well, listen, why don't I close down the bar and I'll take you all out to breakfast.
莉兹说，好吧，听着，我为什么不关掉酒吧，带你们出去吃早餐。
And she did.
她做到了。
With all the money they'd been giving me.
用他们给我的所有钱。
Yeah.
是的。
And so I remember, at the end of the night, I insulted my best friend Reggie.
所以我记得，当晚结束时，我侮辱了我最好的朋友雷吉。
And I won't go into detail there.
我不会在那里详细讨论。
But I insulted him, and he got up and he left.
但我侮辱了他，他站起来就走了。
And so I was left there in the middle of the Village without a way to get home.
于是我就被留在了村子的中间，没有办法回家。
And I remember asking Liz if I could borrow $10 to get home.
我记得我问莉兹是否可以借 10 美元回家。
And she obliged.
她答应了。
And I thought, now that's my kind of girl.
我想，这就是我喜欢的女孩。
It was actually, I gave it to him, because I was sure that I would be able to see him again if he owed me money.
其实是我给了他，因为我确信，如果他欠我钱，我就能再见到他。
And he did come back two days later and gave me the $10 back.
两天后他确实回来了，还给了我 10 美元。
Now, is there anything in that first interaction which indicates the overall direction and theme of the way the two of you handle money?
现在，在第一次互动中有什么东西表明了你们两个处理金钱的方式的总体方向和主题吗？
Just everything.
只是一切。
I had never really met somebody before Michael who spent money quite the way that he did.
在迈克尔之前，我从未见过像他这样花钱的人。
Because I was raised with this incredibly frugal family who always had these amazing anxieties about money.
因为我是在这个极其节俭的家庭长大的，他们总是对金钱抱有令人惊讶的焦虑。
And I was always so amazed when I was hanging out with him.
当我和他一起出去玩时，我总是感到很惊讶。
Really, you go to restaurants every day?
真的吗，你每天都去餐馆吗？
Or you send your laundry out?
或者你把洗好的衣服送出去？
And you take taxis everywhere?
你到处都坐出租车吗？
There's just sort of no-- there didn't seem to be any plan.
似乎没有任何计划。
I've had anxiety about money my whole life.
我一生都对金钱感到焦虑。
It was something that was sort of given to me at a very young age and hasn't ever really been taken away.
这是我在很小的时候就被赋予的东西，而且从未真正被夺走。
And so I'm never quite sure that you're not going to starve, or that you're not going to be thrown out on the street.
所以我永远不确定你是否会挨饿，或者你是否会被扔到街上。
And I've always sort of-- I guess my credo has been that someone will always give you money.
我想我的信条一直是总会有人给你钱。
Money can come into your life in unexpected ways and in some ways is unpredictable.
金钱会以意想不到的方式进入你的生活，在某些方面是不可预测的。
Would you have conflicts about money, the two of you, earlier on in your relationship?
你们两个在恋爱初期会因为金钱发生冲突吗？
Well, I can give you an example.
好吧，我可以给你举个例子。
I think probably the biggest money decision and discussion we ever had to have was when we got married.
我认为我们必须做出的最大的金钱决定和讨论可能是在我们结婚的时候。
And there was some money that had been put aside for me.
还有一些钱是为我预留的。
My dad had been saving money my whole life for a college education.
我父亲一生都在攒钱供大学教育。
And for whatever reason, some scholarships, some other stuff, there was a small amount of money left over from that, which he told me I could have when I got married or turned, whatever, 30 or something.
不管出于什么原因，一些奖学金，一些其他的东西，还有一小笔钱剩下来，他告诉我，当我结婚或30岁之类的时候，我可以得到这些钱。
I don't remember.
我不记得了。
And I just knew.
我刚刚知道。
I just knew in my heart that my parents' values-- they had gotten married by a Justice of the Peace because it was the frugal thing to do-- because they both have those values, that it's a waste of money to spend money on a wedding.
我心里只知道我父母的价值观——他们是由太平绅士结婚的，因为这是节俭的事情——因为他们都有这些价值观，花钱办婚礼是浪费钱。
Wow.
哇。
Elizabeth Gilbert And I knew.
伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特 我知道。
I knew, knew, knew, knew, knew so deeply in my heart that they didn't want me to spend that money on a wedding.
我内心深处知道、知道、知道、知道、知道他们不想让我花那些钱去办婚礼。
And it was kind of the only money that we had at the time.
这是我们当时唯一的钱。
We weren't in debt, but we didn't have any savings.
我们没有负债，但我们没有任何积蓄。
And it was a nice little nest.
这是一个漂亮的小巢。
It would have started off a nice-- you know I mean?
这本来会是一个美好的开始——你知道我的意思吗？
For a married couple to have started with this small parcel of money, it would have been good.
对于一对已婚夫妇来说，能用这一小笔钱开始创业，那就太好了。
It also was just enough to have a nice, little wedding, which I wanted but couldn't get over this idea that this money was not to be spent.
这也足以举办一场美好的小型婚礼，我想要这样，但无法克服这个想法：这笔钱不花。
And Michael was fine, had no qualms at all about spending every last cent of it on the wedding.
迈克尔很好，毫不犹豫地将最后一分钱花在婚礼上。
Because he felt like it was an important thing to, to have everybody that you want with you on this day.
因为他觉得这一天让所有你想要的人都和你在一起是一件很重要的事情。
And I just couldn't get over it.
我就是无法克服它。
And it was causing me so much trouble.
这给我带来了很多麻烦。
And we fought about it, I cried about it, we suffered over it.
我们为此争吵，我为此哭泣，我们为此受苦。
And at one point, I had decided, forget it.
有一次，我决定，忘记它吧。
We're not spending this money on a big wedding.
我们不会把这笔钱花在一场盛大的婚礼上。
We'll get married in my parents' backyard.
我们将在我父母的后院结婚。
We'll have pulled pork sandwiches and play music on a record player.
我们会做猪肉三明治并用电唱机播放音乐。
And then I had this big revelation where I said to Michael, but that means we won't have a band, and that means we won't dance.
然后我得到了一个重大启示，我对迈克尔说，但这意味着我们不会有乐队，这意味着我们不会跳舞。
And what if, for the rest of our lives, whenever we go to a wedding, we see other couples dancing on their wedding day, and every time I see it, it kills me that we didn't get to dance at our wedding?
如果在我们的余生中，每当我们去参加婚礼时，我们都会看到其他夫妇在婚礼当天跳舞，而每次我看到它时，都会因为我们没有在婚礼上跳舞而感到难过怎么办？
And he got down on his knees, and he took my hands, and he said, I won't tolerate it.
他跪下，握住我的手，他说，我不会容忍。
I won't tolerate it.
我不会容忍它。
We have to spend the money.
我们必须花钱。
And we did.
我们做到了。
And I think that, in many ways, Michael is always just what I needed, as far as showing you what's more important than having $10,000 in the bank.
我认为，在很多方面，迈克尔始终是我所需要的，他向你展示了什么比银行里有 10,000 美元更重要。
Now, if your parents were to tell this story today, would the theme of this story be, and that's when she fell into the hands of the force of evil?
现在，如果你的父母今天讲这个故事，这个故事的主题会是，那就是她落入邪恶势力手中的时候吗？
[LAUGHTER] Ira Glass That was the turning point?
[笑声] Ira Glass 那是转折点？
No, because everything-- the thing that Michael said at the time was, you don't know what's going to happen.
不，因为迈克尔当时所说的一切都是，你不知道会发生什么。
Maybe that will be the last $10,000 we'll ever, ever, ever have.
也许这将是我们永远、永远、永远拥有的最后一万美元。
Or maybe, six months from now, you'll sell a book, or I'll get a great job, and we'll have tons of money.
或者也许，六个月后，你会卖掉一本书，或者我会找到一份好工作，我们就会有很多钱。
And we'll look back and we'll say, we could have had the wedding.
当我们回顾过去时，我们会说，我们本来可以举办婚礼的。
You should just do what you want to do, because you don't know.
你应该做你想做的事，因为你不知道。
So your parents were fine with the way you spent the money?
那么你的父母对你花钱的方式还满意吗？
Possibly because of the fact that my parents had never had a wedding, it was such an incredibly emotional event for them as well.
可能是因为我的父母从未举办过婚礼，这对他们来说也是一次令人难以置信的情感事件。
And of course I would do it all over again.
当然，我会重来一遍。
I would do it for $100,000.
我愿意花 10 万美元来做这件事。
It was the most beautiful and important day.
这是最美丽、最重要的一天。
And the money has never been-- we've never felt its loss for a minute after that.
从那以后，我们再也没有感觉到金钱的损失。
But I really needed to fight to get that feeling, to be able to feel like I deserved to spend $10,000 on one day.
但我真的需要努力去获得这种感觉，才能感觉自己值得有一天花 10,000 美元。
Liz Gilbert is a writer at large for GQ Magazine.
莉兹·吉尔伯特 (Liz Gilbert) 是《GQ》杂志的特约撰稿人。
Michael Cooper is the director of a human rights foundation.
迈克尔·库珀是人权基金会的主任。
[MUSIC - "DIAMONDS AND PEARLS" BY PRINCE]
[音乐 - Prince 的《钻石与珍珠》]
Act Four, Pot of Gold.
第四幕，第一桶金。
If a windfall can change your life, can your life also be changed by a windfall that you simply believe will occur?
如果一笔意外之财可以改变你的生活，那么你相信会发生的意外之财也能改变你的生活吗？
We have this story from Scott Carrier in Salt Lake City.
我们从盐湖城的斯科特·卡里尔那里得到了这个故事。
When I was 19, my mother bought an old house for $10,000 and said I could live in it if I cleaned it up and took care of it.
当我 19 岁的时候，我妈妈花了 10,000 美元买了一栋旧房子，并说如果我把它清理干净并照顾好它，我就可以住在里面。
It sat in the weeds on a narrow, dead-end alley, two blocks from the University of Utah.
它坐落在一条狭窄的死胡同的杂草丛中，距离犹他大学两个街区。
I said sure and moved in.
我说当然可以，然后就搬进去了。
Or rather, I opened the door and set my backpack down on the floor.
或者更确切地说，我打开门，把背包放在地板上。
The first night I was there, my neighbor from across the alley came over for a visit.
我在那里的第一天晚上，巷子对面的邻居过来拜访。
He was about 45 years old, six foot two, greasy, shoulder-length hair combed straight back, glasses with thick lenses that made his eyes look huge, six-day stubble, black silk shirt, 16-ounce Budweisers in each hand.
他大约 45 岁，六英尺二英寸，油腻的齐肩头发向后梳，戴着厚镜片的眼镜，让他的眼睛看起来很大，留了六天的胡茬，穿着黑色丝绸衬衫，每只手里都拿着 16 盎司的百威啤酒。
Welcome to the neighborhood.
欢迎来到附近。
Down on the corner, he said, you got the two old lesbians.
他说，在拐角处，有两个老女同性恋。
Nosy as hell.
好管闲事。
A pure nuisance.
纯粹是一个麻烦。
They just put up two security lights that shine straight in my bedroom.
他们只是安装了两盏安全灯，直射我的卧室。
Then next door, there's the crazy hag from Tennessee, drinks Thunderbird all day and screams at her speed freak son to go out and get a job.
隔壁是来自田纳西州的疯狂老太婆，她整天喝雷鸟啤酒，并对她的速度狂儿子尖叫，让他出去找份工作。
I've been here longer than anybody.
我在这里呆的时间比任何人都长。
It's my mom's house, but she lives in San Francisco now managing a hotel.
这是我妈妈的房子，但她住在旧金山，现在经营一家酒店。
The one in that film, The Conversation.
那部电影《对话》中的那个。
You seen it?
你看到了吗？
Yeah, I said.
是的，我说。
It's one of my favorites.
这是我的最爱之一。
Harry Caul sleeps in his raincoat.
哈利·考尔穿着雨衣睡觉。
That was an awesome movie, he said.
那是一部很棒的电影，他说。
Flushed the bitch down the toilet.
把母狗冲进马桶冲走了。
No, I said.
不，我说。
It turned out that it was all a set-up.
原来，这一切都是一个圈套。
And actually the two lovers killed the rich husband.
事实上，这两个恋人杀死了富有的丈夫。
Whatever, he said.
不管怎样，他说。
The ending was awesome though.
不过结局很棒。
The guy playing his saxophone in his apartment.
那家伙在他的公寓里吹萨克斯管。
Bob was the type of guy who wanted me to know, first thing, that I could count on him no matter what.
鲍勃是那种首先想让我知道无论发生什么我都可以信赖他的人。
Listen, he said, I can tell just by looking at you that you're a smart son of a bitch who doesn't know his ass from his elbow.
听着，他说，我只要看着你就知道你是个聪明的王八蛋，不知道自己的屁股。
Probably can't fight worth a damn either.
恐怕连战斗的价值都没有。
You need anything, you got somebody you want fixed, beat up, or disappeared, whatever, you tell me and it's as good as done.
你需要任何东西，你有一个你想要修复的人，殴打或消失，无论什么，你告诉我，那就好了。
You just ask Bob.
你只要问鲍勃就可以了。
Yeah, I said, OK.
是的，我说，好吧。
But things are going pretty good right now.
但现在一切进展顺利。
Thanks anyway.
不管怎样，谢谢。
I gutted the house, tore out any walls that weren't holding up the roof, stripped 12 layers of paper off the others, ripped up the carpet, broke the windows free of paint and opened them for the first time in decades.
我把房子里的东西都拆了，拆掉了所有不能支撑屋顶的墙壁，剥掉了其他墙壁上的12层纸，撕掉了地毯，把窗户上的油漆去掉，并在几十年来第一次打开了窗户。
I kept only the refrigerator and stove and slept on a pad on the floor with a stray kitten on my neck, or on my face, if I'd let it.
我只保留了冰箱和炉子，睡在地板上的垫子上，脖子上挂着一只流浪小猫，如果我愿意的话，也可以在脸上挂着。
Bob would come over every day and drink beer and smoke Pall Malls and watch me work, offering advice.
鲍勃每天都会过来喝啤酒、抽 Pall Mall 香烟，看着我工作，提供建议。
In the beginning, he had a friend staying with him, Clarence, about 60 years old with white hair, who was just holding up until he went to prison for killing his wife with a broomstick, because she was a witch.
起初，他有一个朋友克拉伦斯和他住在一起，克拉伦斯大约60岁，白发，一直坚持到他因为用扫帚杀死了他的妻子而入狱，因为她是一个女巫。
They'd come over with folding lawn chairs, sit and drink beer and listen to jazz on my tape player.
他们会拿着折叠式草坪椅走过来，坐下来喝啤酒，听我的磁带播放器里的爵士乐。
They were Bob's tapes.
它们是鲍勃的磁带。
He had John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Ornette Coleman, and older guys like Fats Waller.
他有约翰·科尔特兰、迈尔斯·戴维斯、奥内特·科尔曼，以及像法茨·沃勒这样的老家伙。
They'd drink two or three beers.
他们会喝两三杯啤酒。
And Bob would get up and move around, not dancing but moving to the music, saying you hear that.
鲍勃会站起来走动，不是跳舞，而是随着音乐移动，说你听到了。
You hear that, man?
你听到了吗，伙计？
Awesome.
惊人的。
And it'd go on like this through three beers, four beers.
就这样，喝了三杯啤酒，四杯啤酒。
Somewhere around two six-packs they'd be yelling at each other, making no sense whatsoever, while I carried out lath and plaster and threw it in a pile in the front yard.
在大约两块六块钱的地方，他们会互相大喊大叫，毫无意义，而我则搬出板条和石膏，把它们堆放在前院。
Clarence did shortly go to prison, the state penitentiary, and even wrote me a letter saying I was a good man and that I should try not to make the same mistakes he had, you know, killing my wife a broomstick.
克拉伦斯很快就进了监狱，州立监狱，甚至给我写了一封信，说我是一个好人，我应该尽量不要犯他犯过的同样的错误，你知道，用扫帚杀死了我的妻子。
But that all in all, prison wasn't so bad.
但总而言之，监狱并没有那么糟糕。
And that he thanked God every day he wasn't in for lying or cheating or stealing, because these men had nothing to look forward to but getting beat up and being some man's girlfriend.
他每天都感谢上帝，他没有撒谎、欺骗或偷窃，因为这些男人除了挨打和成为某个男人的女朋友之外没有什么可期待的。
So Clarence was gone.
就这样，克拉伦斯走了。
And the old woman from Tennessee just was no longer around one day.
有一天，这位来自田纳西州的老妇人不再出现了。
And that just left Bob and me and the two women down on the corner who would sometimes stop by the afternoon, when Bob was sleeping, and ask me all kinds of prying questions.
这就只剩下鲍勃和我，还有街角的两个女人，她们有时会在下午鲍勃睡觉的时候停下来，问我各种刺探性的问题。
Like, who was my mom anyway to buy this house for me?
比如说，我妈妈到底是谁给我买这个房子的？
And why didn't I have a job?
为什么我没有工作？
And why did I let that Bob come over and bother me?
为什么我要让那个鲍勃过来打扰我？
I said, it's true, I don't like his cologne too much.
我说，是啊，我不太喜欢他的古龙水。
But it gets covered up pretty quick by the cigarettes and beer burps.
但它很快就被香烟和啤酒的打嗝掩盖了。
And then I do actually like his music.
然后我真的很喜欢他的音乐。
Besides, he's lonely.
此外，他很孤独。
What's wrong with that?
这有什么问题吗？
He's worthless, they said, absolute garbage.
他们说，他一文不值，绝对是垃圾。
Bob had had jobs, lots of jobs, concrete construction.
鲍勃有工作，很多工作，混凝土建筑。
His last being installing fiberglass insulation.
他的最后一次是安装玻璃纤维绝缘材料。
But he'd hurt his back falling off a ladder, and this kept him idled now on disability.
但他从梯子上摔下来伤了背，这让他现在因残疾而无所事事。
The only way he got by at all, he said, was by doing jobs for the man.
他说，他唯一的生存方式就是为这个人做事。
He wanted me to think that he was a hitman, but I found it hard to believe that Bob could actually kill somebody.
他想让我认为他是一名杀手，但我发现很难相信鲍勃真的能杀人。
He did have a sawed-off shotgun that he kept standing next to his front door.
他确实有一把锯短的猎枪，一直放在前门旁边。
And I used to stare at it and want to pick it up.
我曾经盯着它看，想把它捡起来。
But I thought it was prop or like a trophy, a way of redeeming himself in the eyes of others.
但我认为它是道具或者像奖杯一样，是在别人眼中救赎自己的一种方式。
But then, he did come over one night at 11 o'clock, not even drunk and heavily oiled, looking slick in a black shirt and white tie, clean-shaven.
但有一天晚上 11 点，他确实过来了，甚至没有喝醉，身上涂了很多油，穿着黑衬衫和白领带，胡子刮得干干净净，看上去很光鲜亮丽。
He was shaken.
他很震惊。
He said he just wanted to say goodbye, as he might not be around for a while.
他说他只是想道别，因为他可能有一段时间不会出现了。
His hand was cold and wet when I shook it.
当我握着他的手时，他的手又冷又湿。
That time, he came back.
那一次，他回来了。
He was there the next day, sitting in my living room while I was painting.
第二天，当我画画时，他就在那里，坐在我的客厅里。
And he never said a thing about what had happened.
他对所发生的事情只字不提。
But a few months later, he was gone for 10 days.
但几个月后，他失踪了10天。
And I thought maybe he was on the run.
我想他也许正在逃亡。
Turned out he'd been in the hospital with a broken leg.
原来他腿骨折了，住进了医院。
He'd gone over to the Top Stop at midnight for a quart of beer and was hit by a drunk driver coming back across 5th East.
他半夜去 Top Stop 喝了一夸脱啤酒，结果被一名从第五东回来的醉酒司机撞倒了。
He had a cast from his crotch to his ankle.
他从胯部到脚踝都打着石膏。
I said, I'm sorry man.
我说，对不起，伙计。
And he said, no way.
他说，没门。
It's the best thing that could have happened.
这是可能发生的最好的事情。
Sure, it hurt like a bastard to begin with, but then they shot me up and I was flying.
当然，一开始我就像个混蛋一样疼，但后来他们向我开枪，我就飞了起来。
Now I'm going to sue this son of a bitch for everything he has.
现在我要起诉这个王八蛋，控告他所拥有的一切。
My lawyer says it'll be in the hundreds of thousands.
我的律师说这将是数十万。
Maybe a million.
也许一百万。
I'm rich.
我很有钱。
The accident changed Bob's life for the better and for the worse.
这场事故改变了鲍勃的生活，无论是好是坏。
He decided to go to Trade Tech and study drafting, technical drawing.
他决定去 Trade Tech 学习绘图、技术绘图。
He had to take some math and do some writing.
他必须学一些数学并做一些写作。
And he'd come over with his homework and tests to show me how well he was doing.
他带着作业和测试过来，向我展示他的表现有多好。
He was proud of himself.
他为自己感到骄傲。
He even had a girlfriend for a while, a women his age he'd met at school who was studying to be an accountant.
他甚至有一段时间有过女朋友，是他在学校认识的一个和他同龄的女朋友，正在学习成为一名会计师。
But she turned out to be trouble.
但事实证明她是个麻烦。
But this wasn't the bad part.
但这还不是糟糕的部分。
It wasn't the worst part of hearing he was going to be rich.
听说他将变得富有，这还不是最糟糕的部分。
As soon as Bob's lawyer told him he was going to be rich, he started to think about what he was going to do with all the money, how he was going to spend it.
当鲍勃的律师告诉他他将变得富有时，他就开始思考他将如何处理这些钱，以及如何花掉这些钱。
He had a list on paper.
他有一份纸质清单。
Two Harley Davidsons, an Electra Glide and a Sportster, and a pick-up truck to haul them around in, a new four-way stereo system with a 500-watt Kenwood amplifier and six-foot high JBL loudspeakers, an elaborate hand-carved bar for drinking and entertaining his friends, and a new home.
两辆哈雷戴维森摩托车、一辆 Electra Glide 和一辆 Sportster，以及一辆用来拖运它们的皮卡车，一套配备 500 瓦 Kenwood 扩音器和 6 英尺高 JBL 扬声器的新型四路立体声系统，一个精心制作的手工雕刻酒吧，供他喝酒和招待朋友，还有一个新家。
Or rather, he'd rebuild his present home, a small brick box, by first raising it 15 feet off the ground on steel I-beams and installing an electronic trap door for an entrance.
或者更确切地说，他会重建他现在的家，一个小砖盒子，首先用钢工梁将其抬高到离地 15 英尺，并在入口处安装一个电子活板门。
Then he was going to take off his roof and add another three floors on top, pagoda style.
然后他打算拆掉屋顶，在上面再加三层，像宝塔一样。
He had it drawn out in all dimensions and angles.
他把它从各个维度和角度都画出来了。
A 60-foot tall pagoda with dragons and flames that would flare out from sloping gables, everything in detail, down to the framing and nailing schedules.
一座 60 英尺高的宝塔，龙和火焰从倾斜的山墙上喷出，一切细节，包括框架和钉子时间表。
He had these drawings laid out on his kitchen table.
他把这些图画放在厨房的桌子上。
And he carried the list of things to buy in his shirt pocket, so he could add and subtract continually, day by day, month by month, on and on.
他把要买的东西清单放在衬衣口袋里，这样他就可以日复一日、月复一月不断地加减。
It became a notebook, then several notebooks.
它变成了一个笔记本，然后是几个笔记本。
And to me, it was like he had a disease, a mental illness, where these things, all these things had gone, in his mind, from being objects of desire to actual, material things already in his possession.
对我来说，就像他得了一种疾病，一种精神疾病，在他的脑海里，所有这些东西都从欲望的对象变成了他已经拥有的实际的、物质的东西。
He kept his hair cut.
他一直剪着头发。
He changed his clothes.
他换了衣服。
He stopped with the cologne.
他喝了古龙水就停了下来。
He stopped coming over and spending the day.
他不再过来度过这一天。
He was a new man, because he had all this stuff.
他是一个新人，因为他拥有所有这些东西。
But then he didn't actually have any of it.
但后来他实际上什么也没有了。
The lawsuit dragged on and on, one year, two years.
这场官司一拖再拖，一年、两年。
And in the end, he got very little, maybe a few thousand dollars, as the lawyer's bill came to quite a lot, I guess.
最后，他得到的钱很少，也许只有几千美元，因为我猜律师的账单相当多。
And then the judge decided that Bob's life hadn't really been damaged so much after all.
然后法官认为鲍勃的生活并没有受到太大的损害。
He'd been a bum, essentially, before the accident.
在事故发生之前，他本质上是个流浪汉。
And after the accident, he'd earned a degree in technical drawing, and was actually something better than a bum.
事故发生后，他获得了技术绘图学位，实际上比流浪汉要好。
So I think it was difficult to justify a large compensation.
所以我认为很难证明巨额赔偿是合理的。
But then I don't really know what happened, as Bob was too sad and depressed to talk about it.
但后来我真的不知道发生了什么，因为鲍勃太悲伤和沮丧，无法谈论这件事。
Then one day he was gone.
然后有一天他走了。
He left me a note saying he went to San Francisco to live with his mother and didn't know when he'd be back.
他给我留了一张纸条，说他去旧金山和他母亲住在一起，不知道什么时候回来。
I moved on as well not long after that to go to school out of state.
不久之后我也搬去州外的学校。
And I've never seen or heard from him since.
从那以后我再也没有见过他，也没有听到过他的消息。
I hope he's still not carrying that list.
我希望他还没有带着这份名单。
I picture him sitting in the basement of the Jack Tar Hotel, the one in the movie, with a lousy mattress and a sawed-off shotgun, listening to Miles and waiting to be called upstairs by the man for a job, disposing of the evidence by flushing it down the toilet.
我想象他坐在杰克·塔尔酒店的地下室里，也就是电影中的那个酒店，带着一张破烂的床垫和一把锯短的猎枪，听着迈尔斯的讲话，等待那人叫上楼去工作，把证据冲进马桶里处理掉。
Well, our program was produced today by Alix Spiegel and myself, with Nancy Updike and Julie Snyder.
嗯，我们今天的节目是由阿利克斯·斯皮格尔和我本人以及南希·厄普代克和朱莉·斯奈德制作的。
Contributing editors, Paul Tough, Jack Hitt, Margy Rochlin, and Consigliere Sarah Vowell.
特约编辑 Paul Tough、Jack Hitt、Margy Rochlin 和 Consigliere Sarah Vowell。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Alex Blumberg did our interview today with the lottery winner, Todd Powell, at the top of the show.
[鸣谢] Alex Blumberg 今天在节目顶部接受了我们对彩票中奖者 Todd Powell 的采访。
If you'd like to buy a cassette of our program, call us here at WBEZ in Chicago, 312-832-3380.
如果您想购买我们节目的磁带，请致电芝加哥的 WBEZ，电话：312-832-3380。
Our email address, [email protected] .
我们的电子邮件地址，[电子邮件受保护]。
Or you know you can listen to most of our programs for free on the internet at our website, www.thislife.org.
或者您知道您可以在我们的网站 www.thislife.org 上免费收听我们的大部分节目。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia who said this, when he discovered that i'd bought all that new equipment for the studio without telling him--
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理监督由 Torey Malatia 进行，当他发现我在没有告诉他的情况下为工作室购买了所有新设备时——
Honey, what is this?
亲爱的，这是什么？
Ira Glass I'm Ira Glass.
艾拉·格拉斯 我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Well, how did this get in your closet, then?
嗯，那它是怎么到你衣柜里的呢？
Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。