Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator

I was a government major,

我是政府专业的，

which means I had to write a lot of papers.

这意味着我必须写很多论文。

Now, when a normal student writes a paper,

现在，当一个普通学生写论文时，

they might spread the work out a little like this.

他们可能会像这样分散工作。

you get started maybe a little slowly,

你开始可能会有点慢，

but you get enough done in the first week

但第一周你就完成了足够的工作

that, with some heavier days later on,

在那之后的几天里，

everything gets done, things stay civil.

一切都完成了，一切都保持文明。

And I would want to do that like that.

我也想那样做。

That would be the plan.

这就是计划。

I would have it all ready to go,

我会把一切准备好就出发

but then, actually, the paper would come along,

但实际上，报纸会出现，

and then I would kind of do this.

然后我会这样做。

And that would happen every single paper.

每一篇论文都会发生这种情况。

But then came my 90-page senior thesis,

但后来我的 90 页高级论文来了，

a paper you're supposed to spend a year on.

一篇你应该花一年时间研究的论文。

And I knew for a paper like that, my normal work flow was not an option.

我知道对于这样的论文，我的正常工作流程不是一个选择。

It was way too big a project.

这是一个太大的工程。

So I planned things out,

于是我就计划好了事情

and I decided I kind of had to go something like this.

我决定我必须这样做。

This is how the year would go.

这一年就这样过去了。

So I'd start off light,

所以我会从光开始，

and I'd bump it up in the middle months,

我会在中间几个月提高它，

and then at the end, I would kick it up into high gear

然后最后，我会把它调到高速档

just like a little staircase.

就像一个小楼梯。

How hard could it be to walk up the stairs?

走上楼梯有多难？

But then, the funniest thing happened.

但随后，最有趣的事情发生了。

Those first few months?

最初几个月？

and I couldn't quite do stuff.

我无法完全做事。

So we had an awesome new revised plan.

所以我们有一个很棒的新修订计划。

But then those middle months actually went by,

但后来那中间的几个月实际上过去了，

and I didn't really write words,

而且我也没有真正写过文字

and so we were here.

所以我们就在这里。

And then two months turned into one month,

然后两个月变成了一个月，

which turned into two weeks.

这变成了两周。

And one day I woke up

有一天我醒来

with three days until the deadline,

距离截止日期还有三天，

still not having written a word,

还没有写出一个字

and so I did the only thing I could:

所以我做了我唯一能做的事：

I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours,

我在 72 小时内写了 90 页，

pulling not one but two all-nighters --

不是一个而是两个通宵——

humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters --

人类不应该熬两个通宵——

sprinted across campus,

冲刺穿过校园，

dove in slow motion,

慢动作的鸽子，

and got it in just at the deadline.

并在截止日期前拿到了它。

I thought that was the end of everything.

我以为一切就这样结束了。

But a week later I get a call,

但一周后我接到一个电话

and it's the school.

这是学校。

And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"

他们说：“这是蒂姆·厄本吗？”

And they say, "We need to talk about your thesis."

他们说：“我们需要谈谈你的论文。”

"It's the best one we've ever seen."

“这是我们见过的最好的一个。”

That did not happen.

但那并没有发生。

It was a very, very bad thesis.

这是一篇非常非常糟糕的论文。

I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you thought,

我只是想享受那一刻，当你们所有人都在想，

"This guy is amazing!"

“这家伙太厉害了！”

No, no, it was very, very bad.

不，不，这非常非常糟糕。

Anyway, today I'm a writer-blogger guy.

不管怎样，今天我是一个作家兼博主。

I write the blog Wait But Why.

我写了博客“Wait But Why”。

And a couple of years ago, I decided to write about procrastination.

几年前，我决定写一篇关于拖延症的文章。

My behavior has always perplexed the non-procrastinators around me,

我的行为总是让我周围的非拖延者感到困惑，

and I wanted to explain to the non-procrastinators of the world

我想向世界上不拖延的人解释

what goes on in the heads of procrastinators,

拖延者脑子里在想什么

and why we are the way we are.

以及为什么我们是现在这个样子。

Now, I had a hypothesis

现在，我有一个假设

that the brains of procrastinators were actually different

拖延者的大脑实际上是不同的

than the brains of other people.

比其他人的大脑。

And to test this, I found an MRI lab

为了测试这个，我找到了一个 MRI 实验室

that actually let me scan both my brain

这实际上让我扫描了我的大脑

and the brain of a proven non-procrastinator,

和一个被证明不拖延的大脑，

so I could compare them.

这样我就可以比较它们。

I actually brought them here to show you today.

我今天实际上把它们带到这里来给你们看。

I want you to take a look carefully to see if you can notice a difference.

我希望你仔细看一下，看看你是否能注意到差异。

I know that if you're not a trained brain expert,

我知道如果你不是受过训练的大脑专家

it's not that obvious, but just take a look, OK?

不是很明显，但是看一下，好吗？

So here's the brain of a non-procrastinator.

这是一个不拖延者的大脑。

There is a difference.

有一个区别。

Both brains have a Rational Decision-Maker in them,

两个大脑都有一个理性决策者，

but the procrastinator's brain

但拖延者的大脑

also has an Instant Gratification Monkey.

还有一只即时满足猴。

Now, what does this mean for the procrastinator?

现在，这对拖延者意味着什么？

Well, it means everything's fine until this happens.

嗯，这意味着在这件事发生之前一切都很好。

[This is a perfect time to get some work done.] [Nope!]

[这是完成一些工作的最佳时机。] [不！]

So the Rational Decision-Maker will make the rational decision

所以理性决策者会做出理性决策

to do something productive,

做一些富有成效的事情，

but the Monkey doesn't like that plan,

但猴子不喜欢这个计划

so he actually takes the wheel,

所以他实际上掌握了方向盘，

and he says, "Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page

他说：“实际上，让我们阅读整个维基百科页面

of the Nancy Kerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal,

南希·克里根/托尼亚·哈丁丑闻，

because I just remembered that that happened.

因为我刚刚记得那件事发生了。

Then we're going to go over to the fridge,

然后我们就去冰箱那儿

to see if there's anything new in there since 10 minutes ago.

看看自 10 分钟前以来是否有任何新内容。

After that, we're going to go on a YouTube spiral

之后，我们将进入 YouTube 螺旋式上升

that starts with videos of Richard Feynman talking about magnets

首先是理查德·费曼谈论磁铁的视频

and ends much, much later with us watching interviews

很久很久以后我们才看到采访结束

with Justin Bieber's mom.

和贾斯汀·比伯的妈妈。

"All of that's going to take a while,

“所有这一切都需要一段时间，

so we're not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today.

所以我们今天的日程安排上不会真正有时间进行任何工作。

Now, what is going on here?

现在，这是怎么回事？

The Instant Gratification Monkey does not seem like a guy

即时满足的猴子看起来不像一个人

you want behind the wheel.

你想要驾驶。

He lives entirely in the present moment.

他完全活在当下。

He has no memory of the past, no knowledge of the future,

他对过去没有记忆，对未来一无所知，

and he only cares about two things:

而他只关心两件事：

Now, in the animal world, that works fine.

现在，在动物世界中，这很有效。

and you spend your whole life doing nothing other than easy and fun things,

你一生都在做简单而有趣的事情，

you're a huge success!

你取得了巨大的成功！

humans are just another animal species.

人类只是另一种动物。

You have to keep well-slept, well-fed and propagating into the next generation,

你必须保持良好的睡眠、良好的饮食并繁衍下一代，

which in tribal times might have worked OK.

这在部落时代可能行得通。

But, if you haven't noticed, now we're not in tribal times.

但是，如果你没有注意到，现在我们并不是处于部落时代。

We're in an advanced civilization, and the Monkey does not know what that is.

我们处在一个先进的文明中，而猴子不知道那是什么。

Which is why we have another guy in our brain,

这就是为什么我们的大脑里有另一个人

the Rational Decision-Maker,

理性决策者，

who gives us the ability to do things no other animal can do.

他赋予我们做其他动物做不到的事情的能力。

We can visualize the future.

我们可以想象未来。

We can see the big picture.

我们可以看到大局。

We can make long-term plans.

我们可以制定长期计划。

And he wants to take all of that into account.

他想把所有这些都考虑在内。

And he wants to just have us do

他想让我们做

whatever makes sense to be doing right now.

现在做任何有意义的事情。

Now, sometimes it makes sense

现在，有时这是有道理的

to be doing things that are easy and fun,

做一些简单而有趣的事情，

like when you're having dinner or going to bed

比如当你吃晚饭或者睡觉的时候

or enjoying well-earned leisure time.

或享受应得的闲暇时间。

That's why there's an overlap.

这就是为什么会有重叠。

Sometimes they agree.

有时他们会同意。

But other times, it makes much more sense

但其他时候，它更有意义

to be doing things that are harder and less pleasant,

去做更困难、更不愉快的事情，

for the sake of the big picture.

为了大局。

And that's when we have a conflict.

这就是我们发生冲突的时候。

And for the procrastinator,

而对于拖延者来说，

that conflict tends to end a certain way every time,

冲突每次都会以某种方式结束，

leaving him spending a lot of time in this orange zone,

让他花了很多时间在这个橙色区域，

an easy and fun place that's entirely out of the Makes Sense circle.

一个简单又有趣的地方，完全脱离了“有意义”的圈子。

I call it the Dark Playground.

我称之为黑暗游乐场。

Now, the Dark Playground is a place

现在，黑暗游乐场是一个地方

that all of you procrastinators out there know very well.

你们所有的拖延者都非常清楚这一点。

It's where leisure activities happen

这是休闲活动发生的地方

at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening.

有时不应该进行休闲活动。

The fun you have in the Dark Playground

黑暗游乐场里的乐趣

isn't actually fun, because it's completely unearned,

实际上并不有趣，因为它完全是不劳而获的，

and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred --

空气中充满了内疚、恐惧、焦虑、自我憎恨——

all of those good procrastinator feelings.

所有那些拖延者的美好感觉。

And the question is, in this situation, with the Monkey behind the wheel,

问题是，在这种情况下，当猴子坐在方向盘后面时，

how does the procrastinator ever get himself over here to this blue zone,

拖延者如何让自己来到这个蓝色区域，

a less pleasant place, but where really important things happen?

一个不太令人愉快的地方，但真正重要的事情发生在哪里？

Well, turns out the procrastinator has a guardian angel,

原来拖延症患者有一个守护天使，

someone who's always looking down on him and watching over him

一个总是看不起他、监视着他的人

in his darkest moments --

在他最黑暗的时刻——

someone called the Panic Monster.

有人称为恐慌怪物。

Now, the Panic Monster is dormant most of the time,

现在，恐慌怪物大部分时间都处于休眠状态，

but he suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets too close

但每当截止日期临近时他就会突然醒来

or there's danger of public embarrassment,

或者有让公众难堪的危险

a career disaster or some other scary consequence.

职业灾难或其他一些可怕的后果。

And importantly, he's the only thing the Monkey is terrified of.

重要的是，他是猴子唯一害怕的东西。

Now, he became very relevant in my life pretty recently,

现在，他最近在我的生活中变得非常重要，

because the people of TED reached out to me about six months ago

因为大约六个月前 TED 的人联系了我

and invited me to do a TED Talk.

并邀请我做一场 TED 演讲。

Now, of course, I said yes.

现在，我当然答应了。

It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past.

参加 TED 演讲一直是我的梦想。

But in the middle of all this excitement,

但在这一切兴奋之中，

the Rational Decision-Maker seemed to have something else on his mind.

理性决策者似乎有别的想法。

He was saying, "Are we clear on what we just accepted?

他说：“我们清楚我们刚刚接受的是什么吗？

Do we get what's going to be now happening one day in the future?

我们知道未来某一天会发生什么吗？

We need to sit down and work on this right now."

我们现在需要坐下来解决这个问题。”

And the Monkey said, "Totally agree, but let's just open Google Earth

猴子说：“完全同意，但我们打开 Google 地球吧

and zoom in to the bottom of India, like 200 feet above the ground,

放大到印度底部，距离地面 200 英尺，

and scroll up for two and a half hours til we get to the top of the country,

向上滚动两个半小时，直到我们到达这个国家的山顶，

so we can get a better feel for India."

这样我们就能更好地了解印度。”

So that's what we did that day.

这就是我们那天所做的。

As six months turned into four and then two and then one,

六个月变成了四个月，然后是两个月，然后是一年，

the people of TED decided to release the speakers.

TED 的人们决定释放演讲者。

And I opened up the website, and there was my face

我打开网站，看到的是我的脸

staring right back at me.

正盯着我。

And guess who woke up?

猜猜谁醒了？

So the Panic Monster starts losing his mind,

于是恐慌怪物开始失去理智，

and a few seconds later, the whole system's in mayhem.

几秒钟后，整个系统陷入混乱。

And the Monkey -- remember, he's terrified of the Panic Monster --

还有猴子——记住，他害怕恐慌怪物——

boom, he's up the tree!

砰，他上树了！

finally, the Rational Decision-Maker can take the wheel

最后，理性决策者可以掌舵

and I can start working on the talk.

我可以开始准备演讲了。

Now, the Panic Monster explains

现在，恐慌怪物解释道

all kinds of pretty insane procrastinator behavior,

各种相当疯狂的拖延行为，

like how someone like me could spend two weeks

就像像我这样的人可以花两周时间

unable to start the opening sentence of a paper,

无法开始论文的开头句，

and then miraculously find the unbelievable work ethic

然后奇迹般地发现了令人难以置信的职业道德

to stay up all night and write eight pages.

熬夜写八页。

And this entire situation, with the three characters --

整个情况，三个人物——

this is the procrastinator's system.

这就是拖延者的系统。

It's not pretty, but in the end, it works.

它并不漂亮，但最终还是有效的。

This is what I decided to write about on the blog a couple of years ago.

这是我几年前决定在博客上写的内容。

When I did, I was amazed by the response.

当我这样做时，我对反应感到惊讶。

Literally thousands of emails came in,

实际上有数千封电子邮件进来，

from all different kinds of people from all over the world,

来自世界各地不同类型的人，

doing all different kinds of things.

做各种不同的事情。

These are people who were nurses, bankers, painters, engineers

这些人是护士、银行家、画家、工程师

and lots and lots of PhD students.

还有很多很多的博士生。

And they were all writing, saying the same thing:

他们都在写信，说着同样的话：

"I have this problem too."

“我也有这个问题。”

But what struck me was the contrast between the light tone of the post

但令我印象深刻的是帖子的浅色调之间的对比

and the heaviness of these emails.

以及这些电子邮件的沉重。

These people were writing with intense frustration

这些人在写作时带着强烈的挫败感

about what procrastination had done to their lives,

关于拖延症对他们的生活造成的影响，

about what this Monkey had done to them.

关于这只猴子对他们做了什么。

And I thought about this, and I said,

我想到了这一点，然后我说：

well, if the procrastinator's system works, then what's going on?

好吧，如果拖延者的系统有效，那么到底发生了什么？

Why are all of these people in such a dark place?

为什么这些人都在这么黑暗的地方？

Well, it turns out that there's two kinds of procrastination.

嗯，事实证明，拖延有两种。

Everything I've talked about today, the examples I've given,

我今天谈到的一切，我给出的例子，

they all have deadlines.

他们都有最后期限。

And when there's deadlines,

当有最后期限时，

the effects of procrastination are contained to the short term

拖延的影响仅限于短期

because the Panic Monster gets involved.

因为恐慌怪物介入了。

But there's a second kind of procrastination

但还有第二种拖延症

that happens in situations when there is no deadline.

这种情况发生在没有截止日期的情况下。

So if you wanted a career where you're a self-starter --

因此，如果你想要一份能够自我启动的职业——

something in the arts, something entrepreneurial --

艺术方面的东西，创业方面的东西——

there's no deadlines on those things at first, because nothing's happening,

这些事情一开始就没有最后期限，因为什么也没有发生，

not until you've gone out and done the hard work

直到你出去完成艰苦的工作

to get momentum, get things going.

获得动力，让事情继续下去。

There's also all kinds of important things outside of your career

除了你的职业生涯之外，还有各种重要的事情

that don't involve any deadlines,

不涉及任何截止日期，

like seeing your family or exercising and taking care of your health,

比如看望家人或锻炼身体并照顾自己的健康，

working on your relationship

致力于你们的关系

or getting out of a relationship that isn't working.

或者摆脱一段无效的关系。

Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these hard things

现在，如果拖延者做这些困难事情的唯一机制

is the Panic Monster, that's a problem,

是恐慌怪物，这是一个问题，

because in all of these non-deadline situations,

因为在所有这些非最后期限的情况下，

the Panic Monster doesn't show up.

恐慌怪物没有出现。

He has nothing to wake up for,

他没有什么值得醒来的，

so the effects of procrastination, they're not contained;

所以拖延症的影响并没有得到遏制；

they just extend outward forever.

它们只是永远向外延伸。

And it's this long-term kind of procrastination

这就是这种长期的拖延

that's much less visible and much less talked about

不那么明显，也更少被谈论

than the funnier, short-term deadline-based kind.

比更有趣、基于截止日期的短期类型。

It's usually suffered quietly and privately.

它通常是悄悄地、私下里遭受的。

And it can be the source

它可以是来源

of a huge amount of long-term unhappiness, and regrets.

大量长期的不快乐和遗憾。

And I thought, that's why those people are emailing,

我想，这就是那些人发电子邮件的原因，

and that's why they're in such a bad place.

这就是为什么他们处境如此糟糕。

It's not that they're cramming for some project.

这并不是说他们为了某个项目而临时抱佛脚。

It's that long-term procrastination has made them feel like a spectator,

就是长期的拖延让他们感觉自己像个旁观者，

at times, in their own lives.

有时，在他们自己的生活中。

The frustration is not that they couldn't achieve their dreams;

挫败感并不是他们无法实现自己的梦想，而是他们无法实现自己的梦想。

it's that they weren't even able to start chasing them.

而是他们根本就没有能力去追赶他们。

So I read these emails and I had a little bit of an epiphany --

所以我读了这些电子邮件，我顿悟了——

that I don't think non-procrastinators exist.

我认为不拖延者不存在。

That's right -- I think all of you are procrastinators.

是的——我认为你们都是拖延者。

Now, you might not all be a mess,

现在，你们可能不再一团糟，

and some of you may have a healthy relationship with deadlines,

你们中的一些人可能与截止日期有着良好的关系，

but remember: the Monkey's sneakiest trick

但请记住：猴子最狡猾的把戏

is when the deadlines aren't there.

就是没有最后期限的时候。

Now, I want to show you one last thing.

现在，我想向您展示最后一件事。

I call this a Life Calendar.

我称之为生活日历。

That's one box for every week of a 90-year life.

这相当于 90 岁人生中每周一盒的用量。

That's not that many boxes,

没有那么多盒子，

especially since we've already used a bunch of those.

特别是因为我们已经使用了其中的一些。

So I think we need to all take a long, hard look at that calendar.

所以我认为我们都需要仔细审视这份日历。

We need to think about what we're really procrastinating on,

我们需要思考我们真正拖延的是什么

because everyone is procrastinating on something in life.

因为每个人都会在生活中拖延一些事情。

We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Monkey.

我们需要警惕即时满足猴。

That's a job for all of us.

这是我们所有人的工作。

And because there's not that many boxes on there,

因为那里没有那么多盒子

it's a job that should probably start today.

这项工作也许应该从今天开始。

Well, maybe not today, but ...

好吧，也许不是今天，但是......