The Shadow of the Object
Here the walls are so thick, she said, gesturing vaguely, it would be impossible to hear sounds from a neighbouring room.
这里的墙壁太厚了，她用模糊的手势说，不可能听到隔壁房间的声音。
We should be thankful for that.
我们应该对此表示感谢。
And as for these long empty corridors—ahead of us lay the dim stretch where a light continued to flicker and hiss—just think of what could be brought to life if only we had the right instruments, how we would benefit from this tension of space.
至于这些空荡荡的长走廊——我们前面是昏暗的走廊，灯光继续闪烁并发出嘶嘶声——只要想一想，如果我们有合适的仪器，我们将如何从这种空间张力中受益，将会带来什么。
It was then that she told me about her collection.
就在那时，她向我讲述了她的收藏。
One of the greatest collections in the world, she said, of pre-cinema toys and instruments.
她说，这是世界上最伟大的电影前玩具和乐器收藏之一。
You know, optical illusions and things like that.
你知道，视错觉之类的东西。
Someone once said that the German psyche has a tendency to endow the inanimate with a soul, and in my home that thought was illustrated one hundred times over.
有人曾经说过，德国人的心理倾向于赋予无生命的灵魂，在我的家里，这个想法已经被说明了一百次。
Just imagine: shelves and shelves of magic lanterns and peep boxes, long mirrors that returned sideshow reflections, zoetropes and phenakistoscopes, shadow puppets in every corner.
想象一下：一排又一排的魔灯和窥视盒，可以反射杂耍反射的长镜子，西洋镜和费纳奇镜，每个角落都有皮影戏。
I tried, unsuccessfully, to imagine, my mind still on the comatose birdsong impersonator.
我试图想象，但没有成功，我的思绪仍然停留在那个昏迷的鸟鸣模仿者身上。
Do you even know what a magic lantern is?
你知道什么是神灯吗？
I sensed she’d asked this question many times before.
我感觉她之前已经问过这个问题很多次了。
An old-fashioned device came to mind, figures that spun when the thing was given a whirl.
我的脑海中浮现出一种老式装置，当它旋转时，数字就会旋转。
No, that’s a zoetrope, where you peer through the slits of a spinning cylinder and see images come alive.
不，那是西洋镜，你透过旋转圆柱体的缝隙往里看，会看到栩栩如生的图像。
Or perhaps you’re thinking of a phenakistoscope—discs that when spun also merge a sequence of images to create a sense of motion.
或者您可能正在考虑使用费纳奇镜——旋转时还会合并一系列图像以产生运动感的圆盘。
Both beautiful forms of early animation.
早期动画的两种美丽形式。
As for the magic lantern, my favourite of all, it casts images onto a wall or screen.
至于我最喜欢的魔灯，它可以将图像投射到墙壁或屏幕上。
If you’ve ever walked down Bloomsbury Way, which I imagine you have, you may have spotted one in the window of the Swedenborg bookshop .
如果你曾经沿着布卢姆斯伯里路走过（我想你也曾走过），你可能会在史威登堡书店的橱窗里看到一本。
.
。
.
。
Once you’ve seen one you won’t forget.
一旦你看过，你就不会忘记。
I owned dozens of them: tin, wood, porcelain.
我拥有几十件：锡、木头、瓷器。
Half were male in aura, squatting with their long lenses and beckoning confidence, always ready to pontificate, and the other half were female, a demure box into which a slide could be slipped, bringing the room to life.
一半是有光环的男性，蹲着，拿着长镜头，充满自信，随时准备着武断，另一半是女性，就像一个端庄的盒子，可以将幻灯片滑进去，让房间充满生机。
Of all the conjurors of reverie the magic lantern is perhaps the most basic, almost rudimentary.
在所有的幻想魔术师中，魔灯也许是最基本的，几乎是简陋的。
Its optics are no mystery.
它的光学原理并不神秘。
A box with a set of lenses and a light source.
一个装有一组镜头和光源的盒子。
Sometimes the lantern anchors the magic, other times the magic grants the lantern flight, sometimes it is neither magic nor lantern, simply a dormant eye.
有时灯笼锚定了魔法，有时魔法使灯笼飞行，有时它既不是魔法也不是灯笼，只是一只休眠的眼睛。
When we’re both back in London I can tell you more.
当我们都回到伦敦时，我可以告诉你更多。
The prospect of meeting her again in an entirely different context, in another city, was more than a little thrilling, and I sensed in her too a quiet refusal of the lethargy that tried to impose itself there at the hospital.
在另一个完全不同的环境、在另一个城市再次见到她的前景真是令人兴奋不已，我也感觉到她在悄悄拒绝医院里那种试图强加的昏昏欲睡的感觉。
I wish I could show you more than a lantern but there’s little left of my collection.
我希望我能向你展示的不仅仅是灯笼，但我的收藏所剩无几。
I once had a kingdom.
我曾经拥有一个王国。
For decades I scoured the flea markets, went to the fairs, engaged in long correspondences with other collectors, even people I didn’t care for, and over the years I found things no one else had even dreamt existed.
几十年来，我搜寻跳蚤市场，参加集市，与其他收藏家（甚至是我不关心的人）进行长时间的通信，多年来，我发现了其他人从未梦想过的东西的存在。
And I shared it all with my husband Jan, the gentle Dutchman they called him, who sailed rather briskly through my life.
我和我的丈夫简分享了这一切，他们称他为温柔的荷兰人，他在我的生活中过得相当快。
You’ll see when you’re older that currents quicken when you’re happy .
当你年纪大了，你会发现，当你快乐时，电流会加速。
.
。
.
。
But I’m going on, as usual.
但我还是像往常一样继续。
Tell me about yourself.
说说你自己。
Begin with your name.
从你的名字开始。
Flora, I replied, but at that very moment the nurse came to wheel her away, leaving my two syllables suspended in the air.
弗洛拉，我回答道，但就在这时，护士过来把她推开，留下我的两个音节悬在空中。
Who was I?
我是谁？
Self-portraits must often be drawn in hospital beds, perhaps more accurately than in the outside world.
自画像通常必须在医院病床上画，也许比在外面的世界更准确。
Mine was hardly noteworthy.
我的几乎不值得注意。
Early forties.
四十岁出头。
Phlegmatic, melancholic, yet prone to occasional acts of daring, a flat line interrupted by the sudden jump.
冷漠、忧郁，但偶尔也会做出大胆的举动，一条平坦的线被突然的跳跃打断。
If pressed, probably more centripetal than centrifugal in nature.
如果受压，本质上可能是向心力大于离心力。
The hermit in me liked to stay home, the little vampire loved to step out.
我内心的隐士喜欢呆在家里，小吸血鬼喜欢走出去。
Sometimes they remained locked in battle for hours.
有时他们会在战斗中持续几个小时。
Romances: plentiful in number, short in duration.
爱情故事：数量多，持续时间短。
I was drawn to the chilliness of some people and to the warmth of others.
我被一些人的冷漠和另一些人的温暖所吸引。
People are not composed of your thoughts , a counsellor once said to me.
一位辅导员曾经对我说，人不是由你的想法组成的。
Yes they are, I’d insisted, and had never been able to stop constructing stories in my head, especially at times when reality fell short of expectations.
是的，我坚持说，是的，而且我一直无法停止在脑海中构建故事，尤其是在现实低于预期的时候。
Friends came and went.
朋友来了又走。
I preferred animals to most fellow beings and often wished I’d been born another species.
与大多数人类相比，我更喜欢动物，并且常常希望自己出生时是另一个物种。
The main constant seemed to be my home, three gusty rooms on the top floor of a house belonging to a retired couple and their cats.
主要的常数似乎是我的家，位于一栋房子顶层的三间有风的房间，属于一对退休夫妇和他们的猫。
After a degree in history I’d yearned to do something contemporary and creative—painter, writer, photographer, dancer—and sought part-time jobs while attempting to develop my skills.
获得历史学位后，我渴望做一些当代的、有创意的事情——画家、作家、摄影师、舞蹈家——并在尝试发展自己的技能的同时寻找兼职工作。
But nothing came naturally (you have to believe in yourself at least a little, I realised, in order to create), and I was endlessly haunted by a Manuel Manilla engraving of a skeleton seated at a table with all sorts of tools of trade laid out before it: scissors, saw, hammer, trowel, comb, knife, revolver, books, wooden foot, and, teetering over its shoulder as a warning to that boundless community of the adrift, a miniature sarcophagus.
但没有什么是自然而然发生的（我意识到，为了创造，你至少必须相信自己一点点），曼努埃尔·马尼拉的一幅骷髅雕刻一直困扰着我，它坐在桌子旁，面前摆着各种贸易工具：剪刀、锯子、锤子、抹子、梳子、小刀、左轮手枪、书籍、木脚，还有摇摇欲坠的微型模型，它在它的肩膀上摇摇晃晃地越过无边无际的漂泊者群体。石棺。
Someone had later added the caption: Jack of all trades, master of none .
后来有人加上了标题：万事通，无为大师。
Just as I was on the verge of handing myself over to full-time poverty and despair I took a metals course at an arts centre and discovered I was very good at something: polishing.
就在我即将陷入贫困和绝望的边缘时，我在艺术中心参加了金属课程，发现自己非常擅长一件事：抛光。
Ever since I was a girl I’ve been drawn to shiny things, little magpie my mother would call me, not because I ever nicked other children’s toys but because my eye and hands would gravitate towards whatever sparkled, a sequin scarf or a glittery hair clip, and I always held to the idea that most things had the potential of being enhanced, of being given a small lift out of their matte existence.
从我还是个小女孩的时候起，我就被闪亮的东西所吸引，我妈妈会叫我“小喜鹊”，不是因为我曾经在其他孩子的玩具上留下过痕迹，而是因为我的眼睛和双手会被任何闪闪发光的东西所吸引，比如亮片围巾或闪闪发光的发夹，而且我一直坚持这样的想法：大多数东西都有被增强的潜力，有可能从它们无光泽的存在中得到一点提升。
After hours and hours of practice—friends would lend me their silver and I’d return it, transformed—I became a polisher at a jewellery shop in Soho.
经过几个小时的练习——朋友们会把银器借给我，我会把它改造回来——我成为了苏荷区一家珠宝店的抛光师。
Our little shop was the perfect sanctuary after years of disappointment.
经过多年的失望之后，我们的小店成为了完美的避难所。
And not only was I a polisher, but a master polisher, and to be master of anything is something to be proud of.
我不仅是一名抛光师，而且是一名抛光大师，成为任何事情的大师都是值得自豪的事情。
Furthermore, polishing is not an art to be taken lightly.
此外，抛光并不是一门可以掉以轻心的艺术。
We add shadow or lustre to an object, remove some of its history or stealthily add a make-believe one, and if Wilhelmina were to ask again who I was I would omit the dead ends and mention only the silver.
我们给一个物体添加阴影或光泽，删除它的一些历史，或者偷偷地添加一个虚构的历史，如果威廉明娜再问我是谁，我会省略死胡同，只提到银。
From The Shadow of the Object by Chloe Aridjis .
摘自 Chloe Aridjis 的《物体的影子》。
Used with permission of the publisher, Semiotext(e).
经出版商 Semiotext(e) 许可使用。
Copyright © 2026 by Chloe Aridjis.
版权所有 © 2026 Chloe Aridjis。