Roadshow
Annie bought a fifth of whiskey from the liquor store beside the Starbucks because money was imminent, and because Vera’s addendum had knocked something loose that needed fixing, the image of her lips against Tom Selleck’s mustache, again and again, over and over .
安妮从星巴克旁边的酒品店买了五分之一的威士忌，因为钱迫在眉睫，也因为薇拉的附录把一些东西撞松了，需要修复，她的嘴唇贴着汤姆·塞莱克小胡子的形象，一次又一次，一次又一次……。
She prepared to call Maria about her dad but couldn’t bring herself to do it.
她准备打电话给玛丽亚谈论她的父亲，但无法让自己这么做。
And there was a wickedness creeping inside her, just as it crept inside Vera.
有一种邪恶在她体内蔓延，正如它在薇拉体内蔓延一样。
Actors, dancers, the entertainer .
演员、舞者、艺人。
All imprudent and something worse, mercenary.
一切都是轻率的，更糟糕的是，唯利是图。
After a few nips from the bottle, she picked through the racks at a Salvation Army.
喝了几口瓶子后，她在救世军的货架上挑选。
She must have worn an extra degenerate, hungry look because the cashier hawked her from the counter.
因为收银员把她从柜台上叫走，她的表情肯定显得格外堕落、饥饿。
She found a tank top printed with a busty cartoon moose with long, spidery lashes, holding a beer stein.
她发现一件背心上印着一只丰满的卡通驼鹿，它有着长而蜘蛛般的睫毛，手里拿着一个啤酒杯。
Get Wild in Hope, Alaska, it read.
上面写着，在阿拉斯加的希望里狂野起来。
The cashier softened after she took the money from Annie’s hand.
收银员从安妮手里接过钱后态度软了下来。
She parked the LeSabre in front of a Chinese takeout place with blackened windows and fell asleep for an hour; when she woke, the sun was low, as was her mood, the whiskey worn off and a sludgy guilt moving through her, toward what or whom she couldn’t place.
她把LeSabre停在一家窗户被熏黑的中餐外卖店前，睡了一个小时；当她醒来时，太阳已经很低了，她的心情也是如此，威士忌的酒味渐渐消失，一种泥泞的负罪感在她身上蔓延，对她无法定位的人或事。
The day manager greeted her at the club, still in his shiny vest but now well lubricated and nearly slurring his words.
日间经理在俱乐部迎接了她，他仍然穿着闪亮的背心，但现在已经润滑良好，说话几乎含糊不清。
It turned out he was also the night manager and a self-proclaimed workaholic.
原来他也是夜班经理，自称是工作狂。
He’d become aggressively chatty, being of the overfamiliar type even in sobriety.
他变得非常健谈，即使在清醒的情况下也是一种过于熟悉的类型。
He escorted Annie to the dressing room with one hand on the small of her back.
他护送安妮到更衣室，一只手放在她的后背上。
She politely told him she knew the way, but he insisted on introducing her to the girls of Girls, Girls, Girls .
她礼貌地告诉他她认识路，但他坚持要把她介绍给女孩女孩女孩认识。
She walked fast to outpace his hand, but he was Velcroed.
她走得很快，想要超过他的手，但他是尼龙搭扣的。
She eluded him briefly in the restroom where she drank deeply from the bottle, but when she exited he was waiting outside the door to reprise the journey.
她在洗手间里短暂地避开了他，在那里她从瓶子里喝了很多水，但当她离开时，他正在门外等着重新开始旅程。
The dressing room was now populated by brightly dressed women, all of whom looked up from applying makeup to stare tightly at her in the doorframe.
更衣室里现在挤满了衣着鲜艳的女人，她们都从化妆中抬起头来，紧紧地盯着门框里的她。
This is Annie.
这是安妮。
She’s our dancing dog tonight, said the manager.
“她是我们今晚跳舞的狗，”经理说。
The women said hi flatly and didn’t even make any dog jokes or ask what the fuck he was talking about, which meant they didn’t much like the manager and wanted him to leave as quickly as possible.
女人们平淡地打了个招呼，甚至没有开任何狗笑话，也没有问他到底在说什么，这意味着她们不太喜欢经理，希望他尽快离开。
Let’s show her a warm welcome and let’s keep our stage time tight tonight, okay ladies?
让我们热烈欢迎她，让我们今晚的舞台时间紧张起来，好吗？
Annie was pretty buzzed at that point.
安妮当时非常兴奋。
Everyone had their own robe, a stake, and a place in the domestic glow of the dressing room, and here she was, poised to throw off the balance of things.
每个人都有自己的长袍、一根木桩，以及在更衣室的家庭氛围中占有一席之地，而她就在这里，准备打破一切的平衡。
She settled into a metal chair between a woman with a riot of perfect, almost plasticine curls and a woman in a long, pink wig.
她坐在一张金属椅子上，中间是一个有着一头完美卷发、几乎是橡皮泥般的卷发的女人和一个戴着长长的粉红色假发的女人。
She brought out the bottle to make friends but when offered, the woman with the curls took a serious tone and said, you’d better put that away before the manager sees .
她拿出瓶子来交朋友，可当主动提出时，卷发女子却严肃地说：“你最好在经理看到之前把它收起来。”
No drinking, house rules, said the woman in the pink wig.
戴粉色假发的女人说，这是家规，不能喝酒。
As Annie was apologizing, the woman with the curls took the bottle from her hand and threw it back anyway.
当安妮道歉的时候，卷发女人从她手里夺走了瓶子，还是扔了回去。
The woman in the pink wig closed the door to the dressing room and shot the whiskey, too, then passed it to the woman beside her and so on.
戴粉色假发的女人关上更衣室的门，也喝了一杯威士忌，然后递给身边的女人，等等。
So, you’re down from Edmonton?
那么，你是从埃德蒙顿来的吗？
asked Curly-hair, with wariness in her eyes.
卷毛问道，眼中带着戒备。
When Annie told her she was just passing through, the woman appeared pleased and returned to lining her lips a dark mauve and sharpening the points of her elaborate, winged eyeliner.
当安妮告诉她她只是路过时，这位女士显得很高兴，然后又把嘴唇涂成深紫红色，并把精致的带翼眼线笔尖画得更尖。
You’re very Tina Turner today, said Pink-wig, which Curly-hair ignored.
“你今天真是蒂娜·特纳”，粉红假发说，但卷毛没有理睬。
Annie knew to keep quiet at first.
安妮一开始就知道要保持安静。
Better to make a slow impression than a strong one in sacred places.
在神圣的地方给人留下深刻的印象比留下强烈的印象要好。
The stage schedule was taped near the door.
舞台时间表贴在门附近。
Annie was penciled smack in the middle of the order between Star and Sage: DOG GIRL in ragged handwriting, probably the manager’s.
安妮用铅笔写在星星和贤者之间的中间：狗女孩，字迹参差不齐，可能是经理的。
She got to work on her face, happy to occupy herself.
她开始处理自己的脸，很高兴能有自己的时间。
After a time, the normal chitchat and easiness of the room returned like a wound closing, the girls forgetting her intrusion.
过了一会儿，房间里又恢复了正常的闲聊和轻松，就像伤口愈合一样，女孩们忘记了她的闯入。
She painted her lips a violent red and set her eye shadow darker than usual, feeling in need of further protection, but the liner settled around her eyes in a displeasing way, making her appear witchy and desperate.
她把嘴唇涂成烈红色，眼影比平时更深，感觉需要进一步的保护，但眼线却以一种令人不快的方式落在她的眼睛周围，让她显得巫术和绝望。
Bass began to thump from the other side of the wall, and, as if in a dream, the girls left one by one and returned sweating in the old familiar alchemy.
巴斯从墙的另一边开始敲击，女孩们就像在梦中一样，一一离开，在古老熟悉的炼金术中满头大汗地回来。
The woman in the pink wig introduced herself as Star.
戴着粉红色假发的女人自我介绍说是“明星”。
Annie was to follow her in the lineup.
安妮在队列中跟随她。
Freckles constellated the bridge of her nose and the span of her shoulders.
她的鼻梁和肩膀上布满了雀斑。
She was coltish, long-limbed and slightly hunched.
她脾气暴躁，四肢修长，略微驼背。
Star said Annie didn’t seem like a DOG GIRL, so she showed the mask.
斯塔说安妮看起来不像狗女孩，所以她展示了面具。
Star was young indeed, twenty-two, putting herself through vet school.
斯塔尔确实很年轻，二十二岁，正在读兽医学校。
A sign of what?
预示着什么？
That I’ll take care of you?
说我会照顾你？
Not like that!
不是那样的！
Just, like, an omen that you’re on the right path.
就像，一个预兆，表明你走在正确的道路上。
Well, are you a good omen?
那么，你是一个好兆头吗？
Am I on the right path?
我走在正确的道路上吗？
Yes, you are, Annie said because she was finally floating and safe, coddled by the whiskey, and the girls were so beautiful in their costumes.
是的，你是，安妮说，因为她终于安全地漂浮起来，在威士忌的宠爱下，女孩们穿着服装如此美丽。
Rhinestones, spandex in hazy, gossamer colors unknown to nature, hair sprayed into place, all primed to be seen, to entertain.
莱茵石、朦胧的氨纶、自然界未知的薄纱色彩、喷发到位的头发，一切都准备好让人们看到、娱乐。
Not such a gross proposition after all now that she was here among the entertainers.
既然她在艺人中间，这毕竟不是一个粗俗的提议。
All of these girls, all of them, so beautiful, dancing to the same song every night, skin against the cold security of the pole, the stage, accepting the proffered bills graciously.
所有这些女孩，所有的女孩，都是如此美丽，每晚都会随着同一首歌起舞，贴着冰冷安全的杆子、舞台，优雅地接受递来的账单。
And again, and once more, again, Vera pressing her lips to Tom Selleck’s lips.
维拉一次又一次地把嘴唇压在汤姆塞立克的嘴唇上。
And again, once more, imprinted onto film, imprinted for a moment, maybe forever, onto the minds of the men who came and went, who paid their cover fee, price of entry, and who paid to see Star whip her hair, bend backward off the pole, perfectly attenuated, a suspension bridge.
再一次，再一次，印在胶片上，印在那些来来去去的人的脑海里，印刻在片刻，也许永远，印在他们的脑海里，他们支付了入场费和入场费，他们付钱观看斯塔甩动她的头发，向后弯下杆子，完美地减弱了，一座吊桥。
Star hissed at her to stash the bottle.
斯塔对她发出嘶嘶声，要求她把瓶子藏起来。
In the doorframe was the manager, sniffing around, suspicions aroused.
经理在门框里四处嗅探，心中产生了怀疑。
Has anyone seen Penny?
有人见过佩妮吗？
he asked.
他问道。
Saying Penny, Penny, Penny, as if he might conjure her.
说着佩妮，佩妮，佩妮，仿佛他可以召唤她。
Nope.
没有。
No. Try the back room.
不，试试后面的房间。
Nobody looked up from the mirror.
没有人从镜子里抬起头来。
Cold shoulders, a unified front until he left.
冷遇，统一战线，直到他离开。
What’s the money like here?
这里的钱怎么样？
Annie asked Star, who was moving toward the door, adjusting the elastic on her G-string, running her finger beneath.
安妮问斯塔，斯塔正朝门口走去，调整着丁字裤的松紧带，用手指在下面抚摸。
Uh, well, it’s good, usually.
呃，好吧，通常情况下，这很好。
But mostly for private dances.
但主要用于私人舞会。
They say no touching, but .
他们说禁止触摸，但是。
.
。
.
。
No touching, no touching.
不许碰，不许碰。
None of it mattered.
一切都不重要。
Everything was exhilarating and new but familiar, too.
一切都令人兴奋、新鲜，但也很熟悉。
They were anointed by this ritual of getting ready.
他们接受了这种准备仪式的恩膏。
So much concentration in the mirror, painting and painting and buffing and spraying.
如此专注于镜子、绘画、绘画、抛光和喷涂。
Who else prepared so meticulously for their work?
还有谁为工作做如此精心的准备？
Who else had to be as aesthetically pleasing as they were athletic?
还有谁必须既美观又具有运动能力？
Such gorgeous, dangerous instruments, the sharp, sharp beat of heels, not just cogs but the machine itself, a mechanism of desire.
如此华丽、危险的乐器，尖锐、尖锐的高跟鞋，不仅仅是齿轮，还有机器本身，一种欲望的机制。
Without the girls, the boys would simply mill around, bumping into one another.
没有女孩，男孩们就只是到处乱转，互相碰撞。
And it wasn’t some rah-rah girl power kind of thing, no, it was deeper than that.
这不是什么令人兴奋的女孩力量之类的事情，不，它比那更深刻。
There were certainly desperate nights, compromised nights, but for all the girls showed, revealed, there was more withheld.
当然，也有绝望的夜晚、妥协的夜晚，但对于所有女孩表现出来的、透露出来的，还有更多的隐瞒。
Consummate performers.
完美的表演者。
The audience, the boys, saw as much as they were allowed and nothing more, not even a real name.
观众，男孩们，只看到了他们被允许看到的一切，仅此而已，甚至没有真实姓名。
Annie should stretch, get ready.
安妮应该伸展身体，做好准备。
She wasn’t in dangerous drinking territory, not yet.
她还没有处于危险的饮酒状态。
Perfectly lucid, aware of the smell of Simple Green overtaken by perfumes, the talcum stink of baby powder.
完全清醒，闻到被香水取代的简单绿色的气味，还有婴儿爽身粉的滑石粉臭味。
She left her suit jacket draped over the back of her chair and stretched in just the bedazzled bra, touching her toes, breasts defying gravity.
她把西装外套披在椅背上，只穿着那件令人眼花缭乱的胸罩，伸了个懒腰，触碰着脚趾，乳房抵抗着地心引力。
She explored the contours of her joints, moving her ankles, her elbows, rolling her neck and wrists.
她探索关节的轮廓，活动脚踝、手肘，转动脖子和手腕。
Star’s song was ending.
星星的歌结束了。
Go, go, said another girl, pushing Annie by the butt toward the door.
走吧，走吧，另一个女孩说着，抓住安妮的屁股朝门口推去。
She donned the jacket and ran to side stage where the smoke machine pumped and hissed and she could see Star, her legs spidered out, pressing herself to the floor, arching her back.
她穿上夹克，跑到舞台旁边，烟雾机抽动着，发出嘶嘶声，她可以看到斯塔，她的双腿像蜘蛛网一样伸出，压在地板上，弓起背。
Something was wrong.
出了点问题。
Annie’s face was too cold, right up against the air.
安妮的脸太冷了，贴在空气上。
The mask.
面具。
She scrambled back to the room for it.
她连忙跑回房间去拿。
All was quiet, too quiet.
一切都很安静，太安静了。
They had been talking about her, but who cared.
他们一直在谈论她，但谁在乎呢。
No, no, she said, scrabbling with the box.
不，不，她说着，一边抓着盒子。
Mask on, the girls laughing and oohing, not unfriendly.
戴上面具，女孩们又笑又叫，并不不友好。
She shimmied for them, and they clapped.
她为他们摇摆，他们鼓掌。
Back out the door, back to the stage, passing Star as she was leaving—Jesus Christ, you scared me!—a hand on Annie’s shoulder, the first guitar refrains of “Legs” heating up, propelled forward onto the stage, the audience, the men, silhouetted, shapes on the banquettes, tattered upholstery, then splashed with light, faces yellow, green, blue, lit up like neon.
走出门，回到舞台，在斯塔离开时经过她——天哪，你吓到我了！——一只手放在安妮的肩膀上，《腿》的第一首吉他副歌升温，向前推进到舞台上，观众，男人们，剪影，长椅上的形状，破烂的室内装饰，然后溅上了灯光，脸蛋黄，绿，蓝，像霓虹灯一样亮起来。
God did they ever clean the furniture?
天哪，他们清理过家具吗？
What lived inside?
里面住着什么？
The men tittering among themselves, leaning over, whispering behind their hands into the ears of their brethren, a smirk or two.
男人们互相窃笑，俯下身子，在弟兄们耳边窃窃私语，一两声假笑。
Annie danced for them, and the dancing felt good, correct, and the men watched.
安妮为他们跳舞，舞蹈感觉很好，很正确，男人们都在观看。
They watched and they drank and, though the music was loud, they were quiet, secretive.
他们一边看一边喝酒，虽然音乐很吵，但他们却很安静、神秘。
They didn’t yell or hoot or holler like the audience at Club X; they were conservative, prim with their enthusiasm.
他们不像 X 俱乐部的观众那样大喊大叫或大喊大叫；他们很保守，但热情又拘谨。
The manager was propped by his elbow on the bar, drink in hand.
经理手肘撑在吧台上，手里拿着酒。
Annie danced and danced.
安妮跳呀跳。
The room was much hotter than it had been that day.
房间里比那天热多了。
She rolled her ankle a little but no matter, adrenaline voided the pain.
她稍微转动了一下脚踝，但不管怎样，肾上腺素消除了疼痛。
She put extra pop into her spine, extra sinuousness.
她给她的脊椎增加了额外的弹性、额外的弯曲度。
When she removed her jacket, there was a collective exhalation.
当她脱下外套时，大家集体呼了一口气。
A man wearing a baseball cap low over his eyes sipped his drink and shifted in his seat.
一个戴着棒球帽、遮住眼睛的男人喝了一口酒，在座位上动了动。
After she removed her trousers, puddling them on the stage, he reached into his wallet and approached.
当她脱掉裤子，在舞台上弄得一摊水后，他把手伸进钱包走近。
Annie knelt and he placed the bill, colorful, Canadian, into the elastic of her G-string.
安妮跪下，他将加拿大色彩缤纷的钞票放入她丁字裤的松紧带中。
She cupped his cheek in her hand, and his eyes were wet, wide.
她用手捧住他的脸颊，他的眼睛湿漉漉的，睁得大大的。
The manager approached the stage, one hand up.
经理走近讲台，举起一只手。
She rose and kept dancing, no touching, no touching, of course.
她站起来继续跳舞，没有碰触，当然没有碰触。
When the bra dropped more men shifted.
当胸罩掉落时，更多的男人开始转移。
Annie was incandescent, feeling good and right, heels lashing the air, legs long and longer and lengthening still, supernatural even, shooting out toward space, then once again a dog on the stage floor, pumping her hips, the scrape of the stage against her knees a distant pain, happening to someone else, nothing to do with her; she was gone!
安妮容光焕发，感觉良好、恰到好处，高跟鞋拍打着空气，腿越来越长，甚至超自然地伸向太空，然后又像一只狗一样站在舞台地板上，摇动她的臀部，舞台擦过她膝盖的声音是一种遥远的疼痛，发生在别人身上，与她无关；她走了！
Released!
释放！
More bills in the G-string, like winning, like a casino, chance but something deeper, more contrived.
丁字裤里有更多的账单，比如赢钱，就像赌场一样，有机会，但有更深层次、更做作的东西。
The song came to an end, more bills, a smattering of laughter bandied among the men, perhaps for her, at her, at themselves.
歌曲结束了，更多的账单，男人们之间传来一阵笑声，也许是为了她，为了她，为了他们自己。
Well awoooooo then , tittering again, old biddies, really, as she gathered herself, the money; they nudged and elbowed one another.
好吧，噢噢噢，又咯咯地笑了，老女仆，真的，当她收集自己的钱时；他们互相推搡、肘击。
Some bitch , ha ha, the only words she could discern.
某个贱人，哈哈，这是她唯一能听懂的词。
Who cared, admiration beneath, they never said what they meant, did they.
谁在乎呢，钦佩之下，他们从来没有说出自己的意思，不是吗？
How was it?
它怎么样？
Back in the dressing room, Star with half a protein bar between her teeth.
回到更衣室，斯塔尔的牙缝里叼着半块蛋白棒。
Annie told her it was good, good, it went well.
安妮告诉她，很好，很好，一切都很顺利。
Yeah, good.
是的，很好。
She drank more and offered the bottle to Star who declined, ushering Annie out to mingle, how we make the real money, she said.
她喝了更多，并将这瓶酒递给了斯塔，但斯塔拒绝了，并邀请安妮出去交流，我们如何赚到真正的钱，她说。
Annie didn’t like mingling.
安妮不喜欢交往。
She did not enjoy soliciting, tray passing canapes at private events, groveling, please, would you, please, it’s caviar, yes, Osetra of course.
她不喜欢在私人活动中拉客、递托盘小菜、卑躬屈膝，求你了，求你了，这是鱼子酱，是的，当然是奥塞特拉。
But the whiskey worked.
但威士忌起作用了。
It did its job.
它完成了它的工作。
Prince pumped through the sound system and vibrated the air.
普林斯通过音响系统使空气振动。
The fake smoke really was sexy, soft, violet light, the girls, girls, girls, writhing, sitting, laughing, stroking an arm surreptitiously, faces resetting when they turned away from the men who sat immobilized like boulders.
假烟真的很性感，柔和，紫罗兰色的光芒，女孩们，女孩们，女孩们，扭动着，坐着，笑着，偷偷地抚摸着手臂，当她们转身离开那些像巨石一样一动不动地坐着的男人时，脸又重新恢复了。
And there, a young man, leaning back, farthest out, an outlier, an easy target?
那里有一个年轻人，靠在椅背上，站在最远的地方，是一个局外人，一个容易被攻击的目标？
Something shy, suggestible in the smooth plane of his cheek, baseball cap pulled low, self-consciously.
他那光滑的脸颊上流露出某种害羞、易受暗示的感觉，棒球帽下意识地拉低了。
Work jacket, duck cloth, worn at the cuff.
工作夹克，鸭绒布，穿在袖口。
Very sensible shoes, like her father used to wear, pull-on Merrell’s, black leather, heavy tread; old man shoes for such a young man.
非常实用的鞋子，就像她父亲过去常穿的那样，套穿梅雷尔的，黑色皮革，厚重的胎面；老人鞋适合这样的年轻人。
Letting herself be carried along by instinct, the irresistible heartbeat of the music.
让自己被本能和音乐不可抗拒的心跳所带动。
Nothing was serious.
没什么严重的。
None of it really mattered, yeah?
一切都不重要，是吗？
Gesturing to the youngish man with the close shave, a simple come hither.
向那个刮胡子的年轻男子做了个手势，简单地说，到这里来。
So silly, the whole performance, but guess what?
整个表演都很傻，但你猜怎么着？
He got to his feet, brushed his pants, and followed.
他站起来，擦了擦裤子，跟了上去。
His friend giggling.
他的朋友咯咯笑。
Watch your dick!
小心你的鸡巴！
She’s got teeth!
她有牙齿！
From Roadshow by Nikki Ervice.
来自 Nikki Ervice 的路演。
Published by Astra House.
由阿斯特拉之家出版。
Copyright © Nikki Ervice 2026.
版权所有 © Nikki Ervice 2026。
All rights reserved.
保留所有权利。