Daughter from Danang
There were so many rumors.
有很多谣言。
I was so frightened.
我很害怕。
If I didn't send my child away both she and I would die.
如果我不把孩子送走，我和她都会死。
And I remember this for as long as I live.
我一生都会记住这一点。
It was just so vivid.
简直太生动了。
We were standing there holding hands.
我们手牵着手站在那里。
They literally had to pry us apart to get me on that plane.
他们确实不得不把我们撬开才能让我上那架飞机。
How could she do this to me?
她怎么可以这样对我？
How could you just give up a child like that?
你怎么能就这么放弃一个孩子呢？
I've been in pain for twenty years over my daughter.
我为我的女儿痛苦了二十年。
Finding her would be like giving birth a second time, like finding a needle at the bottom of the sea.
找到她就像生第二次一样，就像在海底找到一根针一样。
I've always wanted to know about my birth mom.
我一直想了解我的亲生母亲。
I still had memories, but as the years went, the picture of her face in my mind was fading.
我仍然有记忆，但随着岁月的流逝，她的脸在我脑海中逐渐消失。
That's why I had to find her and get ready to go over there...
这就是为什么我必须找到她并准备去那里......
meeting her face to face for the first time in twenty-two years.
二十二年来第一次面对面见到她。
We're going home!
我们要回家了！
I hear those planes and so many memories...
我听到那些飞机和很多回忆......
so many memories.
这么多的回忆。
I was born in Danang in '68.
我68年出生在岘港。
When I gave birth to her, she had no father, so I gave her my last name.
我生她的时候，她没有父亲，所以我给她起了我的姓氏。
And I named her Hiep because it means united...
我给她起名叫 Hiep 因为这意味着团结......
united with her mother.
与她的母亲团结在一起。
I remember hearing the gunfire and every once in a while, y'know, we'd be playing outside and somebody would rush us inside real quick, and we knew, you know.
我记得听到枪声，每隔一段时间，你知道，我们在外面玩，有人会很快把我们冲进去，我们知道，你知道。
I heard the Viet Cong were attacking nearby and they would arrive here any day.
我听说越共正在附近进攻，他们随时都会到达这里。
It was March, 1975.
那是 1975 年 3 月。
What I heard really worried me.
我所听到的确实让我担心。
If you had worked for Americans and had racially mixed children, they said those kids would be gathered up -- they would be soaked in gasoline and burnt.
如果你为美国人工作并且有不同种族的孩子，他们说这些孩子会被聚集起来——他们会被浸泡在汽油中并被烧死。
On March 15th I dressed her up and got her stuff ready.
3月15日，我给她穿好衣服，准备好她的东西。
I took her to the orphanage but couldn't bear to go inside.
我带她去了孤儿院，但又舍不得进去。
I'll take care of him.
我会照顾他的。
I'll give him a good home.
我会给他一个好的家。
It was like losing a piece of myself.
这就像失去了我自己的一部分。
I raised her brother and two sisters, but I had to let her go.
我抚养她的兄弟和两个姐妹，但我不得不让她走。
When I left, I was confused more than anything.
当我离开时，我最困惑的是。
I didn't understand what was going on and why my mother wasn't coming with me.
我不明白发生了什么事，也不明白为什么妈妈没有和我一起去。
But then I thought, well, it must have been me.
但后来我想，好吧，那一定是我。
I must have been a bad child, y'know, for her to give me up and not want me.
你知道，我一定是个坏孩子，她才会放弃我而不想要我。
After taking her there, I told her to remember...one day you will come look for me, you must never forget.
带她去了之后，我告诉她要记住……总有一天你会来找我，你一定不能忘记。
I have directed that money from a $2 million special foreign aid children's fund be made available to fly 2,000 South Vietnamese orphans to the United States as soon as possible.
我已指示从 200 万美元的特别外国援助儿童基金中拨出资金，尽快将 2000 名南越孤儿空运到美国。
TOM MILLER, ATTORNEY: We didn't know this at the time, but as a last desperate attempt of the White House to gain sympathy for the war, and possibly additional funding for the war, they backed what was called the "Orphan Airlift."
汤姆·米勒，律师：我们当时并不知道这一点，但作为白宫为赢得对战争的同情以及可能为战争提供额外资金的最后一次孤注一掷的尝试，他们支持了所谓的“孤儿空运”。
TRAN TUONG NHU, JOURNALIST/TOM'S WIFE: And they asked for Vietnamese to come to the presidio, because they, they were bringing over lots of little children.
TRAN TUONG NHU，记者/汤姆的妻子：他们要求越南人来要塞，因为他们带来了很多小孩。
So I went to the presidio, and was one of the few Vietnamese living in the bay area at the time.
所以我去了要塞，是当时居住在湾区的少数越南人之一。
I remember going into a room and there were some kids who were about 7 and 10 years old.
我记得走进一个房间，里面有一些大约 7 岁和 10 岁的孩子。
I remember saying to them: "You don't understand what's going on now, but this is very important.
我记得对他们说：“你们不明白现在发生了什么，但这非常重要。
You have to remember who you are."
你必须记住你是谁。”
Her friends who volunteered to assist, one of them called her and said, "You know, these children, many of them are not orphans -- they're talking about their families."
她的朋友们自愿提供帮助，其中一位打电话给她说：“你知道，这些孩子，他们中的许多人不是孤儿——他们正在谈论他们的家庭。”
And we immediately notified the adoption agencies and the U.S. government that many of the children did not appear to be orphans, and they didn't respond.
我们立即通知收养机构和美国政府，许多孩子看起来并不是孤儿，但他们没有做出回应。
There was zero response.
反应为零。
There was an adoption industry in Vietnam where people would be able to adopt cute Vietnamese children of course there were true orphans -- there was no question about that.
越南有一个收养行业，人们可以收养可爱的越南儿童，当然也有真正的孤儿——这是毫无疑问的。
But often these adoption homes were places where children were placed by their families who couldn't take care of them.
但这些收养院往往是无法照顾孩子的家人安置孩子的地方。
What this whole business was doing was creating a situation where families were being induced to give up their children.
这整个事件正在造成一种情况，诱使家庭放弃他们的孩子。
VOLUNTEER SOCIAL WORKER, US ADOPTION AGENCY: If you can help me, if you know people who are poor, who cannot take care of their children, if they are mixed children, I would like to help them.
美国收养机构志愿者社会工作者：如果你能帮助我，如果你认识那些穷人、无法照顾自己孩子的人、如果他们是混血儿，我愿意帮助他们。
I am not taking them away from you.
我不会把它们从你身边夺走。
I'll send them to good families.
我会把他们送到好家庭。
Tell them.
告诉他们。
Because I can take the children and send them to America.
因为我可以带着孩子们把他们送到美国。
And it's better for everyone.
这对每个人都更好。
VIETNAMESE WOMAN (Unidentified, speaking broken English): He tell me go with you.
越南妇女（身份不明，说着蹩脚的英语）：他告诉我和你一起去。
Let him go with me, aww, can I take him?
让他跟我走吧，哇，我可以带他走吗？
Can I take him to the United States?
我可以带他去美国吗？
Aww...
哇...
you think.
你认为。
You think about it, because he saw me take other boy.
你想一想，因为他看到我带走了另一个男孩。
Other boy very happy.
另一个男孩很高兴。
I asked her, if she didn't give me any papers, how could I find my child in the future?
我问她，如果她不给我任何证件，我以后怎么找到我的孩子？
She said when the Americans came back, I would have my child again.
她说当美国人回来时，我就会再次拥有我的孩子。
The government never had a complete list of the children.
政府从未有过儿童的完整名单。
They were literally dumping them on the plane.
他们实际上是把它们扔在飞机上。
You might recall that one of the planes crashed, and about a hundred children were killed.
您可能还记得其中一架飞机坠毁，大约一百名儿童丧生。
I got a letter saying there was a plane crash.
我收到一封信，说发生了飞机失事。
They said my child died.I said it's impossible.
他们说我的孩子死了，我说不可能。
WOMAN SPEAKING AT AIRPORT (ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE): I saw her, she's gorgeous, she's coming down, come on...
机场讲话的女士（档案镜头）：我看到她了，她很漂亮，她要下来了，来吧……
From the time I left Vietnam and I came over here, it all runs together to me.
从我离开越南到来到这里，这一切都与我息息相关。
It's all a blur.
一切都模糊了。
REPORTER AT AIRPORT (ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE): He looks a little perplexed now.
机场记者（档案录像）：他现在看起来有点困惑。
MAN HOLDING CHILD (ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE): I think so...well, first of all, he doesn't speak the language so he's not quite sure what everybody is doing here.
抱着孩子的男子（档案片段）：我想是的……好吧，首先，他不会说当地语言，所以他不太确定每个人在这里都在做什么。
I remember meeting my adopted mom.
我记得见过我的养母。
They put us in this little white room, y'know kind of like the rooms you go in when you go to the pet store and you go and see the pets.
他们把我们安排在这个白色的小房间里，你知道有点像你去宠物店看宠物时进去的房间。
That's what it felt like to me.
这就是我的感觉。
And I remember her talking to me, and of course I didn't understand a word she said.
我记得她跟我说话，当然我一个字也听不懂。
I used to ask her for my mother.
我曾经向她询问我的母亲。
And I would cry and cry and cry.
我会哭啊哭啊哭。
MABEL NEVILLE/HEIDI'S GRANDMOTHER: Here we are.
梅布尔·内维尔/海蒂的祖母：我们到了。
This is the first day we went there.
这是我们去那里的第一天。
This is Heidi with the baby doll.
这是海蒂和洋娃娃。
That's Heidi's adopted mother Anne.
那是海蒂的养母安妮。
DON NEVILLE/HEIDI'S UNCLE: The way I found out about Anne was adopting Heidi, I think, was talking to my mom.
唐·内维尔/海蒂的叔叔：我想，我是通过和我妈妈谈话而得知安妮收养海蒂的。
She told me over the telephone.
她通过电话告诉我的。
I says: "What in the world is she doing that for?" And I was very perturbed.
我说：“她这么做到底是为了什么？”我很不安。
I says: "Y'know, with all of the kids in this country that need homes -- why?" And she says: "Because the government in its infinite wisdom has thrown up so many barricades to a single mom adopting a kid."
我说：“你知道，这个国家所有的孩子都需要家——为什么？”她说：“因为政府以其无限的智慧为单亲妈妈收养孩子设置了如此多的障碍。”
I remember going to her house, not knowing what was going on, and why am I here with this lady?
我记得我去她家，不知道发生了什么事，我为什么和这位女士在一起？
I remember watching her one time doing laundry, and she put it in this machine, and I thought wow y'know, so I noticed one day she said the cat was dirty.
我记得有一次看她洗衣服，她把衣服放进机器里，我想哇你知道，所以我注意到有一天她说猫很脏。
And you will not believe what I did.
你不会相信我所做的。
I put that cat in the washing machine, and all of a sudden you here this "meooww" and this thing thumping against the machine like that.
我把那只猫放进洗衣机，突然你就听到“喵呜”的声音，这个东西就这样重重地撞在洗衣机上。
My mom comes running into the room.
我妈妈跑进房间。
She says: "cat!
她说：“猫！
Cat!" And I pointed to the machine, and she pulled that cat out, and that cat was just so pitiful looking.
猫！”我指着机器，她把那只猫拉了出来，那只猫看起来好可怜。
The first time we met Heidi she was just a little dark-haired urchin -- just cute as a button.
我们第一次见到海蒂时，她只是一个黑头发的小顽童——可爱得像一颗纽扣。
And couldn't speak any English, and of course you know how much Vietnamese I could speak.
我不会说英语，当然你知道我能说多少越南语。
Now, Bin, you say "Good morning Quai," and Quai says "Good morning, Bin, how are you today?"
现在，Bin，你说“Quai 早上好”，Quai 说“早上好，Bin，你今天怎么样？”
I remember going to a private school to learn English.
我记得去一所私立学校学习英语。
And then we moved to Tennessee and that's where I spent the rest of my years.
然后我们搬到了田纳西州，我在那里度过了余生。
ROYCE HUGHES HUGHES/GIRL SCOUT LEADER: Heidi was very shy at first, and I remember that she spent an extra year in kindergarten because she "no speaka' da' English good." She had to learn.
罗伊斯·休斯 休斯/女童子军领袖：海蒂一开始很害羞，我记得她在幼儿园多呆了一年，因为她“英语说不好”。她必须学习。
WANDA HAMLET/SECOND GRADE TEACHER: We had black and white children that had been going to school together for many years.
万达·哈姆雷特/二年级老师：我们有黑人和白人孩子，他们已经一起上学很多年了。
But at the same time, we had black children and we had white children, and we had not had ever had one like Heidi before.
但与此同时，我们有黑人孩子，也有白人孩子，而且我们以前从未有过像海蒂这样的孩子。
My adopted mom, she did everything she could to make me American as possible.
我的养母，她竭尽全力让我尽可能成为美国人。
BRENDA LEWIS / FAMILY FRIEND: She was strictly all-American.
布伦达·刘易斯/家人朋友：她完全是美国人。
She loved bologna.
她喜欢博洛尼亚。
I don't know if you want me to get started about that.
我不知道你是否希望我开始谈论这个。
We made a southerner, a southerner out of her real quick as far as that goes, mm'hmm.
我们很快就把她塑造成了一个南方人，一个南方人，嗯。
GIRL SCOUTS (ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE): On my honor, I will try to serve God and my country.
女童子军（档案片段）：以我的名誉担保，我将努力为上帝和我的国家服务。
Heidi's features and her complexion and everything is just like an American that's had a suntan.
海蒂的五官、肤色等等一切都像一个晒黑了的美国人。
When she was growing up, and even until now, I still look at her as a white American.
在她成长的过程中，甚至直到现在，我仍然将她视为美国白人。
Because there's really not much oriental in her.
因为她身上实在没有多少东方气息。
JOHN BUB / HEIDI'S HUSBAND: She really looked oriental then and really, she was short, long, straight black, real black, hair.
约翰·布布/海蒂的丈夫：她当时看起来真的很东方，而且真的，她有短发、长发、直黑发，真正的黑发。
Then when we got to high school, I didn't recognize her because she had a perm.
当我们上高中时，我没有认出她，因为她烫了头发。
She permed her hair all the time back then.
那时她一直烫头发。
One good thing about Pulaski -- the blacks and whites get along great.
普拉斯基的一大优点是黑人和白人相处得很好。
Of course they go to school together...
当然是一起上学啦...
they're allowed to eat together...
他们被允许一起吃饭...
so it's a little community that's bind together.
所以这是一个紧密相连的小社区。
The racism -- they keep it hidden.
种族主义——他们把它隐藏起来。
It is, I mean, it is the place where the KKK originated.
我的意思是，这里是三K党的发源地。
Every year they march on the anniversary.
每年他们都会在周年纪念日游行。
You know, downtown and all that.
你知道，市中心等等。
I think a majority were against the KKK.
我认为大多数人都反对三K党。
But there were also people we knew that were part of the group.
但也有一些我们认识的人是该组织的一部分。
It's like you know you find out your teacher is, or your...
就像你知道你发现你的老师是，或者你的...
The sheriff, yeah.
警长，是的。
It takes you by surprise.
这会让你大吃一惊。
She told me not to tell anyone that she was half-Vietnamese.
她告诉我不要告诉任何人她有一半越南血统。
And at the time I understood, being in Pulaski.
当时我在普拉斯基就明白了。
My adopted mom, I'm not sure how she felt about me being Vietnamese.
我的养母，我不确定她对我是越南人有何感想。
But she would always tell me I am not supposed to talk about this; this is not something you tell anybody.
但她总是告诉我，我不应该谈论这个；我不应该谈论这个。这不是你告诉任何人的事情。
If anybody asks you where you were born, you tell 'em Columbia, South Carolina.
如果有人问你出生在哪里，你告诉他们南卡罗来纳州哥伦比亚市。
I never forgot Hiep for even a moment.
我一刻也没有忘记希普。
The more miserable my life was, the more I missed her.
我的生活越是悲惨，我就越想念她。
My head went crazy in those days, like a mad woman.
那些日子我的头脑发疯了，就像一个疯女人。
I was determined to find Hiep at any cost.
我决心不惜一切代价找到希普。
I'd beg every westerner to help me get to the U.S.
我恳求每个西方人帮助我到达美国
TRAN TUONG NHU, JOURNALIST: I had a friend who was interviewing people who wanted to come to America in the orderly departure program, and he met a woman from Danang, whose name was Mai Thi Kim.
记者 TRAN TUONG NHU：我有一个朋友正在采访那些想参加有序出境计划来美国的人，他遇到了一位来自岘港的女士，她的名字叫 Mai Thi Kim。
She wrote him a letter, and she explained in that letter that she had had this daughter and that at the age of 7 she had sent her away.
她给他写了一封信，并在信中解释说，她有这个女儿，并在她七岁时将她送走了。
But it was just by coincidence...
但这只是巧合……
that she, there were plenty of other interviewers, but he was my friend.
她，还有很多其他面试官，但他是我的朋友。
He was able to send the letter to me.
他能够把这封信寄给我。
So I sent a letter to the old adoption agency.
于是我给原来的收养机构写了一封信。
I was probably 21, 22, when I started looking for her.
当我开始寻找她时，我大概21、22岁。
Y'know, writing letters and calling people, looking on the internet.
你知道，写信、打电话、上网。
It was through the internet that I found the Holt Agency, and they said "Yes, we have a file on you.
我通过互联网找到了霍尔特机构，他们说：“是的，我们有一份关于你的档案。
In fact, we have a letter from your birth mom." I was like, there's no way this lady could be my mom.
事实上，我们有一封来自你亲生母亲的信。”我当时想，这位女士不可能是我的妈妈。
And then when I finally got the pictures in the mail, I was like, yes, this is true, y'know, and I looked at her.
然后当我终于收到邮件中的照片时，我想，是的，这是真的，你知道，然后我看着她。
I even went to the bathroom.
我什至还去了趟卫生间。
I held her picture up to the mirror so I could see if there was a resemblance.
我把她的照片举到镜子前，看看是否有相似之处。
And I was like, yes, this is definitely her.
我当时想，是的，这绝对是她。
I get a message on my machine.
我的机器上收到一条消息。
A person with a very deep southern accent calling me up.
一个带着浓重南方口音的人给我打电话。
I don't know if I should even imitate this southern accent, but it really killed me.
我不知道我是否应该模仿这种南方口音，但这真的要了我的命。
She said "Ms. Nhu, my name is Heidi Bub, and I have reason to believe you know who my mother is."
她说：“Nhu女士，我的名字是Heidi Bub，我有理由相信你知道我的母亲是谁。”
When I heard that Heidi was going to Vietnam, like I said, I was just really, really surprised.
正如我所说，当我听说海蒂要去越南时，我真的非常非常惊讶。
I just, I wished her well and everything else, and hoped that she would find what she was looking for.
我只是，我祝她一切顺利，希望她能找到她想要的东西。
But yet at the same time I just really didn't know what to expect of what she would find.
但与此同时，我真的不知道她会发现什么。
It's unbelievable.
真是难以置信。
I, I would never have dreamed in a million years that I would be doing this.
我，在一百万年内我从来没有梦想过我会这样做。
It's like I still have to pinch myself.
看来我还是得掐自己一下。
This for me was also the fulfillment of some dream that I had had.
这对于我来说，也是实现了自己的一个梦想。
Hoping, that even if it didn't work for a lot of people, it would work at least for one person.
希望即使它对很多人不起作用，但至少对一个人有用。
That they would be able to be reunited with their, their mothers.
他们将能够与他们的母亲团聚。
To be reunited with Vietnam.
与越南重新统一。
Just for the sake of some sort of justice.
只是为了某种正义。
Some poetic ending.
一些诗意的结局。
There are many, many words for mother, but I believe she calls herself "meh."
对母亲有很多很多的称呼，但我相信她称自己为“meh”。
Mah.
啊。
It goes downs...Meh.
它会下降...嗯。
Or she might called herself "mah." You're going to be crying so hard you...
或者她可能会称自己为“mah”。你一定会哭得很厉害，你...
I won't be able to say anything anyway.
无论如何我也不能说什么。
I'll just be going "maaaahh."
我只会“maaaahh”。
I don't know if you're going to remember this, because you want to say I love you, right?
我不知道你是否会记得这件事，因为你想说我爱你，对吗？
Thuong...t-h-u-o-n-g....
Thuong...t-h-u-o-n-g....
I just hope they understand I have been a hundred and one percent Americanized.
我只是希望他们明白我已经百分之一百零一美国化了。
And I have no earthly idea of their expectations.
我对他们的期望一无所知。
HEIDI HAS A LAYOVER BEFORE FLYING TO DANANG.
海蒂在飞往岘港之前需要短暂停留。
They just cook on the street?
他们只是在街上做饭吗？
I don't know?
我不知道？
I worry that I'm going to hurt somebody's feelings.
我担心我会伤害别人的感情。
Or insult them.
或者侮辱他们。
If I do something, I just hope they overlook it and think "Oh, she's, she's American -- she doesn't know any better."
如果我做了什么，我只是希望他们忽略它并认为“哦，她是，她是美国人——她不知道更好。”
I fear most of seeing her husband.
我最害怕见到她的丈夫。
I know he tells her that he accepts me as her own, but there's got to be that little bit of resentment, maybe because he's not my father.
我知道他告诉她他接受我为她自己的孩子，但一定会有一点怨恨，也许因为他不是我的父亲。
This morning I got up at 6 and tried on like ten different outfits, trying to figure out what to wear, trying...I'm real nervous, I mean, nervous as can be.
今天早上我六点起床，试穿了十套不同的衣服，试图弄清楚该穿什么，尝试……我真的很紧张，我的意思是，非常紧张。
I've done my makeup.
我已经化好妆了。
I put on a waterproof mascara that John bought me because he knew I would need it.
我涂了约翰给我买的防水睫毛膏，因为他知道我需要它。
Other than that I'm just trying to calm my nerves.
除此之外，我只是想安抚一下自己的紧张情绪。
I'm just...
我只是...
this flight is just going a bit too fast for me.
这次航班对我来说有点太快了。
It's only an hour flight, but it's going to feel like a minute.
虽然只有一个小时的飞行，但感觉就像一分钟。
Y'all are going to have to carry me off the plane, I just know it.
你们得把我送下飞机，我就知道。
They're gonna' have to push me.
他们将不得不推我。
At night I lay in bed and dreamt I was talking to her.
晚上我躺在床上，梦见自己正在和她说话。
I told her my dream had come true.
我告诉她我的梦想实现了。
That I was no longer hopeless and disappointed, and that I would never lose her again.
我不再绝望和失望，我永远不会再失去她。
It's gonna' be so healing for both of us to see each other.
见到对方对我们俩来说都会很治愈。
It's gonna' make all of those bad memories go away.
它会让所有那些不好的记忆消失。
And all of those last years not matter anymore.
最后几年的一切都不再重要了。
Your brother and sister here.
你的兄弟姐妹在这里。
Your sister Hien.
你妹妹希恩。
(Lower Third ID) DO HUU VINH, FATHER OF HEIDI'S SIBLINGS
（下第三 ID）DO HUU VINH，海蒂兄弟姐妹的父亲
Father Tinh and Hien.
神父Tinh和Hien。
I love you 22 years already.
我爱你已经22年了。
I don't give you away.
我不会放弃你。
I very love you!
我非常爱你！
Maybe you will take me go with you.
也许你会带我一起去。
You will, OK?
你会的，好吗？
I'm very happy.
我很高兴。
I'm very happy.
我很高兴。
Very, very, very happy.
非常非常非常开心。
Everybody say me stupid, crazy.
每个人都说我愚蠢、疯狂。
So much pain.
太痛苦了。
I've been looking for you all these years.
这些年来我一直在寻找你。
I've suffered so much.
我受了这么多苦。
Don't think I just abandoned you.
别以为我就这样抛弃了你。
I say you're beautiful.
我说你很漂亮。
22 year already.
已经22年了。
KIM (HEIDI REPEATS IN VIETNAMESE): I...
KIM（海蒂用越南语重复）：我……
love...
爱...
you daughter...
你女儿...
very...
非常...
much.
很多。
I...
我...
love...
爱...
you mother...
你妈...
very...
非常...
much.
很多。
Your brother.
你的兄弟。
Your sister.
你妹妹。
And miss Hiep.
还有希普小姐。
And I saw a picture of my brother, and that's when I really connected with him again.
我看到了我哥哥的照片，就在那时我再次与他建立了联系。
It was just, like, instant connection there.
就像那里的即时连接一样。
And I just stared and stared at his picture, and remembering how he used to hold me and play with me all the time.
我只是盯着他的照片，记起他是如何一直抱着我和我一起玩的。
It was amazing that I could remember all that stuff.
我能记住所有这些东西真是太神奇了。
I mean, I feel like it's been suppressed for so long and all of this is just making it come back so much.
我的意思是，我觉得它已经被压抑了这么久，而所有这一切只是让它又回来了。
While my mother worked, I played her role at home.
当妈妈工作的时候，我在家扮演她的角色。
I cared for my sisters and I was also going to school.
我照顾我的姐妹，我也要去上学。
Among my sisters, Hiep was the only little one.
在我的姐妹中，希普是唯一的小妹妹。
DO THI THU HIEN, HEIDI'S SISTER: In the past when Hiep was small I used to bathe her.
DO THI THU HIEN，海迪的妹妹：过去，当希普还小的时候，我常常给她洗澡。
When I bathe my daughter I think of little Hiep.
当我给女儿洗澡时，我想起了小希普。
SISTER, NIECE AND NEPHEW, SINGING: Dad loves me cause I look like mom.
姐姐、侄女和侄子唱歌：爸爸爱我，因为我看起来像妈妈。
Mom loves me cause I look like dad.
妈妈爱我，因为我长得像爸爸。
Our family loves each other.
我们一家人彼此相爱。
When we're away we're sad.
当我们离开时，我们会感到悲伤。
But when we're together, we always laugh.
但当我们在一起时，我们总是会笑。
Jessica...Kaitlin.
杰西卡……凯特琳。
She looks like you.
她看起来像你。
I'm their grandmother.
我是他们的祖母。
This is me at work.
这是工作中的我。
Yeah, look like you already.
是的，看起来已经很像你了。
I've always wanted the feeling that someone would love me no matter what.
我一直想要一种无论如何都会有人爱我的感觉。
And I never had that with Anne.
我和安妮从来没有这样过。
This is Anne, my daughter.
这是安妮，我的女儿。
And that's Heidi.
那就是海蒂。
She was a single parent.
她是一位单亲家长。
She did everything.
她做了一切。
Y'know I had everything growing up.
你知道我已经拥有了成长的一切。
I just didn't have a very loving parent.
我只是没有一个非常慈爱的父母。
We went on these trips that people in Pulaski just don't do, they would just think: "Wow, they're the luckiest people.
我们参加了普拉斯基人不参加的旅行，他们只会想：“哇，他们是最幸运的人。
They have it all." But you know, they don't know the inside story.
他们拥有一切。”但你知道，他们并不知道内情。
MABEL NEVILLE, HEIDI'S GRANDMOTHER: This is Anne and Heidi.
海蒂的祖母梅布尔·内维尔：这是安妮和海蒂。
She was really way down deep, maybe a lonely child.
她真的很内心深处，也许是一个孤独的孩子。
I really don't want to say a whole lot about that.
我真的不想对此说太多。
Heidi really probably needs to tell you more I mean about some of the things Anne did.
海蒂可能真的需要告诉你更多我的意思是关于安妮所做的一些事情。
She hardly told me she loved me.
她几乎没有告诉我她爱我。
I can only remember one time....Never hugged or anything, she was just not that type of person.
我只记得一次……从来没有拥抱过什么的，她只是不是那种人。
I trained 'em up right.
我把他们训练得很好。
I never had a problem out of 'em.
我从来没有遇到过他们的问题。
Had a son, lived this near 'ch'pel hill, never had a problem out of 'm...No kind of problems.
有一个儿子，住在教堂山附近，从来没有遇到过任何问题......没有任何问题。
Basically mother was the disciplinarian.
基本上，母亲是纪律的执行者。
And she was a hitter.
她是一名击球手。
You know, a screamer and a hitter.
你知道，一个尖叫者和一个击球手。
And so that's basically how I grew up.
这基本上就是我的成长过程。
Y'know, "ahh -- don't hit me again,"...type of thing.
你知道，“啊——别再打我了”……之类的。
I certainly would hope Anne didn't raise Heidi like we were raised, because that would not be an environment...
我当然希望安妮不要像我们一样抚养海蒂，因为那不是一个环境......
in fact, probably you'd go to jail today.
事实上，你今天可能会进监狱。
I used to ask my friends if they got spankings, or stuff like that.
我曾经问我的朋友们是否被打屁股之类的。
And spanking to them was maybe a pat on the bottom, y'know, not with a belt or whatever the closest thing she could reach was.
打屁股可能只是拍屁股，你知道，不是用皮带或任何她能触及的最近的东西。
I mean, I don't want to y'know portray her as a child batterer or anything, y'know I just...I don't think of it that way, y'know.
我的意思是，我不想把她描绘成一个虐待儿童的人或其他什么，你知道我只是……我不这么认为，你知道。
I...I feel like she had no control over what she was doing.
我……我觉得她无法控制自己在做什么。
When I hit the dating age is when her anger really grew because my time with her became less and less.
当我到了约会的年龄时，她的愤怒才真正增长，因为我和她在一起的时间越来越少。
You know, I was going to be all of hers or none at all.
你知道，我要么就是她的全部，要么就什么都不是。
And that's the way she wanted it.
这就是她想要的方式。
That's how we had our breakup.
我们就这样分手了。
It was the summer after my sophomore year in college.
那是我大学二年级结束后的夏天。
I'll never forget this -- I mean it was like y'know one of those traumatic moments that you -- that's just etched in your mind.
我永远不会忘记这一点——我的意思是，就像你知道那些痛苦的时刻之一——那只是铭刻在你的脑海里。
I had a date that night...I went out on my date and I came home...I was ten minutes later from my date.
那天晚上我有个约会……我出去约会然后回家……距离约会晚了十分钟。
And she had put a sign on the door saying, y'know, "this house closes at 11." And she had dead-bolted the door and I couldn't get in.
她在门上贴了一个牌子，上面写着，你知道，“这所房子晚上 11 点关门。”她把门锁死了，我进不去。
So I had to spend the night at one of my girlfriend's house that night.
所以那天晚上我不得不在我女朋友的家里过夜。
And she told me you know that she felt like that I owed her for the life that she had given me....All the trips we had been on, y'know.
她告诉我，你知道，她觉得我欠她生命，因为她给了我生命……我们经历过的所有旅行，你知道。
Everything through the years.
这些年的一切。
And she told me I could either live under her roof and go by her rules, or I could just leave.
她告诉我，我可以住在她的屋檐下并遵守她的规则，或者我可以离开。
And I was like: "What do you mean leave?" And she was like: "y'know, leave.
我当时想：“你说离开是什么意思？”她说：“你知道，离开吧。
You don't live here anymore."
你不再住在这里了。”
I've tried contacting her over the years after that.
在那之后的几年里我一直尝试联系她。
She tells people you know as far as she's concerned, she doesn't have a daughter anymore.
她告诉她所认识的人，她不再有女儿了。
That's when I went through a lot of depression because I felt, oh gosh, I've lost two mothers you know.
那时我经历了很多抑郁症，因为我觉得，天哪，我失去了两位母亲，你知道。
The first one gave me up, and this one doesn't want me.
第一个放弃了我，而这个不要我了。
I said I must be a horrible person.
我说我一定是个可怕的人。
I always thought it would be totally different if I was really her blood daughter.
我一直以为，如果我真的是她的亲生女儿，情况会完全不同。
HEIDI, SPEAKING TO KIM): I searched for a present to give to you from my heart.
海蒂（对金说话）：我真心地寻找一件可以送给你的礼物。
So I gave you a heart ring to remember me.
所以我送了你一枚心形戒指来纪念我。
I used to ask myself how could I love this person that I don't even know?
我曾经问过自己，我怎么能去爱这个我根本不认识的人呢？
I mean, how?
我的意思是，怎么样？
It wasn't until that phone call, and hearing her say "I love you daughter," it was like, how could I have ever doubted that I would love her?
直到那个电话，听到她说“我爱你，女儿”，我才觉得，我怎么能怀疑我会爱她呢？
It's matching, you both have the same watch.
很匹配，你们都有同一块手表。
(SCENE CHANGE: HEIDI CONTINUES): This is my first big Vietnamese meal.
（场景变换：海蒂继续）：这是我的第一顿越南大餐。
The food, y'know.
食物，你知道。
You just reach off the plate?
你刚刚把手伸到盘子上吗？
Reach off the plate...you want to eat this, and eat that.
把手从盘子上拿下来……你想吃这个，然后吃那个。
You don't serve yourself on the plate first?
你不先把自己端上盘子吗？
Take a little bit.
拿一点。
You can dip it in this.
你可以把它浸在这个里面。
I spent the night in my room, and my mother of course, spent the night with me.
我在自己的房间里过夜，当然还有我妈妈陪我过夜。
She hasn't left me since I've been here.
自从我来到这里以来，她就没有离开过我。
I slept until she woke me up this morning, you know, she said: "You awake?" And I said: "I am now," you know...
我一直睡到今天早上她叫醒我，你知道吗，她说：“你醒了？”我说：“我现在，”你知道......
and it was 6:15!
当时是 6 点 15 分！
So this is where we used to live?
那么这就是我们以前住的地方吗？
When I was little.
当我很小的时候。
I grew up not having a bunch of affection, or touching, and here it's like, all my relatives have to touch me.
我从小到大没有太多的感情或触摸，而现在我所有的亲戚都必须触摸我。
You were born here so everybody remembers you.
你出生在这里，所以每个人都记得你。
So people remember me?
那么人们还记得我吗？
They're just so proud, y'know, and they don't know what else to do but just show me off.
他们只是太骄傲了，你知道，除了向我炫耀之外，他们不知道还能做什么。
I'm only gonna' be here 7 days.
我只会在这里呆7天。
It's still hard for me to fathom how close they are.
我仍然很难理解他们有多接近。
I mean, the ties that everybody has.
我的意思是，每个人都有的联系。
The extended family, the aunts, the uncles, the nephews and nieces.
大家庭，阿姨，叔叔，侄子和侄女。
They may not have much here, but they do have that family love and unity.
他们在这里可能没有太多，但他们确实有家庭的爱和团结。
And I'm, y'know, I'm kind of jealous of that.
我，你知道，我有点嫉妒这一点。
And sometimes you slept with your grandmother.
有时你和你的祖母一起睡。
And then when you got to America, you had to sleep alone.
然后当你到达美国时，你必须独自睡觉。
TINH (Heidi's brother): Now that you're grown up you have a husband to sleep with.
TINH（海蒂的弟弟）：现在你已经长大了，你有一个可以睡觉的丈夫了。
(SCENE CHANGE: HEIDI CONTINUES): If you told me back in high school that I would marry a military man, I would have said: "you're crazy." And then finding out my father was in the military was like, wow, so ironic.
（场景变换：海蒂继续）：如果你在高中时告诉我我会嫁给一名军人，我会说：“你疯了。”然后发现我父亲在军队时，我感觉，哇，太讽刺了。
So I never really knew who my father was.
所以我一直不知道我的父亲是谁。
He was one of the American soldiers there.
他是那里的美国士兵之一。
Her father was generous and loving.
她的父亲慷慨又充满爱心。
He brought food for her brothers and sisters.
他给她的兄弟姐妹带来了食物。
I did it for my children, for food and clothes.
我这样做是为了我的孩子，为了食物和衣服。
Because my husband Vinh left without saying a word.
因为我丈夫 Vinh 一句话也没说就走了。
It was February, 1964.
那是 1964 年 2 月。
My husband said he was leaving to join the army.
我丈夫说他要离开去参军。
But he didn't actually join it.
但他实际上并没有加入其中。
He joined the communists instead.
相反，他加入了共产党。
Back then, I thought the duty of a young man was to defend the country when there's a war, even it is requires a sacrifice.
那时，我认为年轻人的责任就是在战争发生时保卫国家，即使需要牺牲。
The police arrested me.
警察逮捕了我。
They said they knew me husband was a communist.
他们说他们知道我丈夫是共产党员。
I said: "then why don't you arrest him instead of me?
我说：“那你为什么不抓他而不抓我呢？
I've been looking for him everywhere.
我一直在到处寻找他。
Bring him back, I'll reward you if you find him."
把他带回来，找到了我就奖励你。”
A friend got me a job at an American base.
一位朋友给我在美国基地找到了一份工作。
I thought if I worked there, people would think I sympathized with the Americans.
我想如果我在那里工作，人们会认为我同情美国人。
Up until then, I'd never seen Americans.
在那之前，我从未见过美国人。
When I was near them I'd get scared.
当我靠近他们时，我会感到害怕。
My boss knew I was scared, so he approached me slowly.
老板知道我害怕，所以慢慢地向我走来。
He called the interpreter over to tell me that if I loved him, he would take care of me and all my children.
他把翻译叫过来告诉我，如果我爱他，他就会照顾我和我所有的孩子。
He left four months after I got pregnant.
我怀孕四个月后他就离开了。
I was miserable when Hiep was born.
希普出生时我很痛苦。
At school, my friends teased me about my mother.
在学校里，我的朋友们取笑我的母亲。
But it was for our living.
但这是为了我们的生活。
If my mother hadn't been with an American, she'd have had to be with someone else.
如果我母亲没有和一个美国人在一起，她就不得不和其他人在一起了。
I wasn't angry at my mother, but I was sad about the way things had to be.
我并没有生妈妈的气，但我对事情不得不这样感到难过。
In those days, people condemned women who consorted with Americans.
那时候，人们谴责与美国人交往的女性。
They considered them whores, excuse my language.
他们认为她们是妓女，请原谅我的语言。
When they looked down on me that way, I felt I was worthless.
当他们这样看不起我时，我觉得自己一文不值。
Back then, our family was like a boat heading toward a waterfall.
那时，我们一家人就像一艘驶向瀑布的小船。
We had no control, and could just be swept away.
我们无法控制，很可能被冲走。
When I went to the beach, the other kids looked so happy to have both parents.
当我去海滩时，其他孩子看起来很高兴有父母。
I longed for that.
我渴望这样。
I was happy when my father came home after so long.
等了这么久，爸爸终于回到家了，我很高兴。
I was glad to be reunited with my father, but I didn't have much feelings for him anymore.
我很高兴能和父亲重逢，但我对他已经没有多少感情了。
When our nation was liberated, my duty was over.
当我们的国家解放时，我的职责就结束了。
I returned to provide comfort for my wife and children to heal the wounds of the war.
我回来安慰我的妻子和孩子，治愈战争的创伤。
VINH CONTINUES: Today is the 22nd anniversary of the day the war ended.
荣市继续说道：今天是战争结束 22 周年纪念日。
The Vietnamese nation won independence and freedom.
越南民族赢得了独立和自由。
We saved the country from the Americans.
我们从美国人手中拯救了国家。
The way I felt about the war when I was learning about it in school -- I kind of kept it to myself.
当我在学校了解战争时，我对战争的感受是——我把它保密了。
Inside, I just felt, just wanted to scrunch down in my chair and hide.
在里面，我只是觉得，只想蜷缩在椅子上躲起来。
I don't remember a thing, but I know it means a lot to my father because he was directly involved in it.
我什么都不记得了，但我知道这对我父亲意义重大，因为他直接参与了这件事。
For me, it's just a parade.
对我来说，这只是一场游行。
When I came back, my wife had already sent Hiep away.
当我回来时，我妻子已经把希普送走了。
If she hadn't, I would have raised her as my own child.
如果她不这样做，我会把她当作自己的孩子来抚养。
We fought against adults.
我们与成年人作战。
She was only a child.
她还只是个孩子。
I could not imagine my life here, as opposed to living in the states.
我无法想象我在这里的生活，而不是在美国的生活。
I could not imagine it at all.
我根本无法想象。
I look at this woman, and it's like, look at all that she has done for me.
我看着这个女人，就好像，看看她为我所做的一切。
And where I am now, and I wouldn't be where I am, and have the life that I have, if she hadn't made that choice 22 years ago to give me up.
如果她没有在 22 年前做出放弃我的选择，我现在的处境，也不会是现在的我，也不会拥有现在的生活。
I went to college, and went through school and had a great education.
我上了大学，完成了学业，接受了很好的教育。
She was telling me my own sisters didn't even make it through the sixth grade.
她告诉我，我自己的姐妹甚至没有读完六年级。
I'm the poorest child in the family.
我是家里最穷的孩子。
I don't have material things, but I still help my parents.
我物质上没有什么，但我还是帮助父母。
If they're sick, I was their clothes and cook for them.
如果他们生病了，我就为他们穿衣服、做饭。
At my sister's Hien's house, their shower consists of having a bucket of water and pouring it on you.
在我姐姐的Hien家里，他们的淋浴是用一桶水倒在你身上。
I don't know now if I could survive here, after having the luxuries that I do.
我现在不知道在享受了这些奢侈之后我是否还能在这里生存。
Hiep went away, and this daughter stayed behind.
希普走了，这个女儿留下了。
So now this daughter leads a miserable life.
所以现在这个女儿过着悲惨的生活。
Please ask Hiep to help her sister out.
请请希普帮助她的妹妹。
HIEN (WITH HEIDI REPEATING IN VIETNAMESE): I...
Hien（海蒂用越南语重复）：我……
love...
爱...
you sister...
你妹...
Hien.
希恩。
I...
我...
love...
爱...
you sister...
你妹...
Hiep...
嘻嘻...
a lot.
很多。
I gave my sister Hien who is having a rough time right now some money to help her out, and she didn't even blink twice.
我给了现在处境艰难的妹妹飞燕一些钱来帮助她，她连眼睛都没眨一下。
She asked me for more.
她向我索要更多。
She said: "You continue to help me, so kids can go to school and maybe I can find a job." I was rather insulted by that.
她说：“你们继续帮助我，这样孩子们就能上学，也许我还能找到工作。”我对此感到相当侮辱。
I just felt like that was just kind of rude.
我只是觉得这有点粗鲁。
That's your benefactor.
那是你的恩人。
The person who's overseas is the person who's going to save the family.
身在海外的人就是要拯救家人的人。
And any family that's lucky enough to have that lifeline will prosper.
任何有幸拥有这条生命线的家庭都会繁荣昌盛。
It's the common knowledge in Vietnam.
这是越南人的常识。
Having been through all this war and desperation, the Vietnamese are very up-front -- especially about money.
经历了所有这些战争和绝望之后，越南人非常坦率——尤其是在金钱方面。
I don't want them to put me on the pedestal, and say: "This is the one who's going to save us." Because I didn't come here to be anybody's salvation.
我不想让他们把我推上神坛，然后说：“这就是拯救我们的人。”因为我来这里不是为了拯救任何人。
I came here to be reunited.
我来这里是为了重聚。
HEIDI CONTINUES): Very bad, no. You've had one already!
海蒂继续）：非常糟糕，不。你已经拥有一个了！
Okay, you drink beer -- but no smoke!
好吧，你喝啤酒——但不要抽烟！
Deal?
交易？
Okay, put it out.
好吧，放出来吧。
I'm broke.
我破产了。
HEIDI CONTINUES): Before I got here and actually face to face with my mother, I always had this image of a soft-spoken, kind, loving, caring person.
海蒂继续说道：在我来到这里并真正与我的母亲面对面之前，我一直有一个说话轻声细语、善良、有爱心、有爱心的人的形象。
I mean I see that in her, but I also see that she's very aggressive.
我的意思是我在她身上看到了这一点，但我也看到她非常具有攻击性。
The bond that I was hoping to have with her was acceptance of the little girl that she let go.
我希望与她建立的联系是接受她放弃的小女孩。
And when I got here it was like I was the parent, and the parent was the child.
当我来到这里时，就好像我是父母，而父母就是孩子。
She wants to be with me 24 hours a day, and I'm feeling a little smothered.
她想一天24小时陪在我身边，而我却感觉有点窒息。
My daughter's still young and na•ve.
我女儿还年轻、天真。
I just want to be close so we can confide in each other.
我只是想靠近一点，这样我们就可以互相倾诉。
I just want to step back and say "whoa -- this is not what I had pictured." I was like, ugghh, I've had these two hours and now it's back to touchy-touchy-feel-feel.
我只想退后一步说“哇——这不是我想象的那样。”我当时想，呃，我已经度过了这两个小时，现在又回到了敏感的感觉。
It makes it even worse that we're all hot and sticky -- uh.
更糟糕的是我们都又热又粘——呃。
Like the day we went to the market to get the food for the feast.
就像那天我们去市场买盛宴的食物一样。
It was so hot in there, and the food was out and the fish smell, and it was just not the best circumstance to be in.
那里太热了，食物都出来了，鱼腥味十足，这可不是最好的环境。
I was just trying to push her along, saying: "c'mon, c'mon, c'com, what else do you need?
我只是试图推动她前进，说：“来吧，来吧，来吧，你还需要什么？
Is this it?
是这个吗？
Are we finished?" She wanted to take her time, and she wanted to stop and talk to everybody.
我们结束了吗？”她想慢慢来，她想停下来和每个人谈谈。
I would say: "Oh please, don't draw any more attention to us.
我会说：“哦，拜托，不要再引起我们的注意了。
Please just keep walking and get what you need and get out of here."
请继续走，拿到你需要的东西，然后离开这里。”
Since we've been here, it's definitely put me in a different world.
自从我们来到这里，这绝对让我进入了一个不同的世界。
I feel like I'm on another planet.
我感觉自己好像在另一个星球上。
I've never been away this far from my own family -- my husband and my two little girls, and I'm feeling homesick.
我从来没有离开过我自己的家人——我的丈夫和我的两个小女儿这么远，我想家了。
It's setting in really hard.
真的很难适应。
I know this may sound so selfish of me, but I just cannot wait to get out of here.
我知道这听起来对我来说太自私了，但我就是迫不及待地想离开这里。
I wanna' go home and escape this world and go back to the one I know, and it's comfortable to me, and that's sane almost.
我想回家，逃离这个世界，回到我认识的世界，这对我来说很舒服，而且几乎是理智的。
Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and not know any of this.
有时我希望时光倒流，而我却不知道这些。
The eve of our departure to Vietnam, Heidi gave me a little soaring star and it was engraved "Thank you for making my dreams come true." And in a way her dream came true, and it was much much more than she had bargained for.
在我们出发去越南的前夕，海蒂送给我一颗飞升的小星星，上面刻着“谢谢你让我的梦想成真”。在某种程度上，她的梦想成真了，而且远远超出了她的预期。
With Heidi, there was no way of really telling her what she was going to come up against.
对于海蒂来说，没有办法真正告诉她将会遇到什么。
And I don't know if it was my job to tell her all of this, I mean I was trying desperately to teach her to say hello to her mother.
我不知道告诉她这一切是否是我的工作，我的意思是我拼命地教她向她的母亲打招呼。
I tried to warn her about how things were different in Vietnam.
我试图警告她越南的情况有何不同。
She gave me this: "I have to leave.
她给了我这样的信息：“我必须离开。
I have to get out of here.
我必须离开这里。
I'm gonna' go back with you." I was going to go home a little early.
我要和你一起回去。”我本来打算早点回家。
I tried to comfort her, and I said to her: "listen, if you stay, after a few days things will become much less pressurized for you."
我试图安慰她，对她说：“听着，如果你留下来，几天后你的压力就会减轻很多。”
DING DUNG/TRANSLATOR AFTER NHU LEAVES: I haven't seen you in twenty two years, and now you're here, and I am very happy now.
丁勇/新和离开后的翻译：我已经二十二年没有见到你了，现在你在这里，我现在很高兴。
I'm too old and poor to buy presents for your family, but your siblings have done so on my behalf.
我又老又穷，无力给你们家人买礼物，但你们的兄弟姐妹已经替我买了。
The time you've been here has been so short.
你来这里的时间太短了。
There's been no time for intimate talks.
没有时间进行亲密交谈。
We don't know who you are yet.
我们还不知道你是谁。
Maybe next time you can stay longer, so we can have deeper conversations.
也许下次你可以多待一会儿，这样我们就可以进行更深入的交谈。
This time you don't speak any Vietnamese, and we can't speak English.
这次你不会说越南语，我们也不会说英语。
We can't communicate with each other properly, or understand each other emotionally.
我们无法正常地沟通，也无法在情感上相互理解。
I'm sorry for that.
我对此感到抱歉。
For 22 years, we've had no news of you, so we, your siblings, have taken care of our mother.
22年来，我们没有你的消息，所以我们，你的兄弟姐妹，一直在照顾我们的母亲。
Now we hope you'll assume the filial responsibility a child has toward parent.
现在我们希望您能承担起孩子对父母的孝顺责任。
Perhaps you could bring her to live near you to renew the love between mother and child.
也许你可以带她住到你附近，以重温母子之间的爱。
He wants me to bring her to the U.S. to live me with me?
他要我带她来美国和我一起生活吗？
And then send her back?
然后送她回去？
It's a suggestion -- to make up for lost time.
这是一个建议——弥补失去的时间。
Tell them that it's impossible to make up for all that lost time, and I don't want to make it up.
告诉他们那些失去的时间是不可能弥补的，我也不想弥补。
I just want to live for now and the future.
我只想活在现在和未来。
Not for the past.
不为过去。
Okay, then, let's live in the present.
好吧，那我们就活在当下吧。
And while we're waiting for her to go to the States, maybe Hiep could, with the consent of her family, help support our mother with a monthly stipend.
当我们等待她去美国的时候，也许希普可以在她家人的同意下，通过每月的津贴来帮助支持我们的母亲。
Feel free to say yes or no.
请随意说“是”或“否”。
When you go back to United States, you can talk with John, and if you cannot bring mother to the united states, then you can provide her with some money monthly to have her...
当你回到美国的时候，你可以和约翰谈谈，如果你不能带妈妈来美国，那么你可以每月给她一些钱来生她......
I have been frank with you, and so I would like you to be frank with me.
我对你坦诚相待，所以我希望你对我坦诚相待。
We have a present from us and Lien's family.
我们和连氏家人送了一份礼物。
You want to give it now?
你想现在就给吗？
Just give her the gifts now?
现在就送她礼物吗？
We don't want to force her.
我们不想强迫她。
This is too...
这也太...
awkward.
尴尬。
She's too emotional.
她太情绪化了。
She's just come back for a visit.
她刚刚回来探望。
This is how things are done in Vietnam.
这就是越南的做法。
It's all too uncomfortable for her.
这对她来说太不舒服了。
She can't say no, but she also can't...
她不能拒绝，但她也不能……
This is her first visit to Vietnam.
这是她第一次访问越南。
Let's go slowly.
我们慢慢来吧。
I can't do this.
我不能这样做。
I am so mad.
我很生气。
I can't do this.
我不能这样做。
I'm so mad.
我很生气。
What's wrong?
怎么了？
I was just asking her to help her family.
我只是请她帮助她的家人。
She sure cries easily, doesn't she?
她确实很容易哭，不是吗？
I tried to talk to her but she didn't listen.
我试图和她说话，但她不听。
It's been 22 years, my child, and now you've come back to visit your home, the place of your ancestors, where your umbilical cord was cut and placenta buried.
22年过去了，我的孩子，现在你又回到了你的家，你祖先的地方，你的脐带被剪断的地方，胎盘被埋葬的地方。
On the anniversary of your departure, we treasure your return.
在您离开周年纪念日之际，我们珍惜您的归来。
Although materially we're poor, our love for each other is rich.
虽然物质上我们很贫穷，但我们对彼此的爱却很丰富。
Don't worry, little sister.
别担心，小妹妹。
We're right here, we'll take care of the family.
我们就在这里，我们会照顾家人。
Please come back inside and join the family.
请回到里面并加入这个家庭。
As your brother just said, don't give too much weight to what just happened.
就像你哥哥刚才说的，不要太看重刚刚发生的事情。
If you can take care of me, go ahead.
如果你能照顾我，那就继续吧。
If you can't, that's fine too.
如果你做不到，那也没关系。
Seeing you is what matters.
能见到你才是最重要的。
I don't want you to be miserable.
我不想让你痛苦。
All I want is for you to be happy with our family.
我只想让你和我们的家人幸福快乐。
I know you'd never abandon me, or else why would you have come back?
我知道你不会抛弃我，不然你为什么要回来？
If you'd lived in Vietnam all your life and refused to take care of me, then I'd be angry that you behaved like this.
如果你在越南生活了一辈子，不肯照顾我，我会因为你的行为而生气的。
Since you've lived abroad for so long, your reaction is different.
由于在国外生活了这么久，你的反应是不同的。
Life is different there.
那里的生活不一样。
I understand, and I don't blame you.
我明白，我不怪你。
We've got lots of time.
我们有很多时间。
Today, tomorrow, this year, forever.
今天、明天、今年、永远。
It's not as if you're going your way and I'm going mine.
并不是说你走你的路，我走我的路。
It's forever.
这是永远的。
We're trying to understand your situation, and we hope you'll try to understand ours.
我们正在努力了解您的情况，也希望您也能了解我们的情况。
Let's just be happy.
让我们快乐吧。
Yes, let's just be happy.
是的，我们只要幸福就好。
Don't try to force anything.
不要试图强迫任何事情。
We don't speak the same language, so it's not clear.
我们说的不是同一种语言，所以不清楚。
What she doesn't know about the Vietnamese notion of love and emotion?
关于越南人的爱情和情感观念，她还有什么不知道的？
She's used to living a different way.
她已经习惯了不一样的生活方式。
She doesn't understand, it's not good to force her.
她不明白，强迫她不好。
She's still in shock.
她还处于震惊之中。
I'm afraid when she goes back, she might be angry.
我怕她回去后会生气。
It's hard.
这很难。
Poor thing, she sees me and thinks I'm asking for money.
可怜的东西，她看到我，以为我在要钱。
And all I know is how much I love her.
我只知道我有多爱她。
This is just a misunderstanding.
这只是一个误会。
I don't know what to do!
我不知道该怎么办！
I just don't know anymore!
我只是不知道了！
I just don't know.
我只是不知道。
I wish this didn't happen.
我希望这没有发生。
I wish I could have just kept the memories I had -- they were so happy.
我希望我能保留我的回忆——它们是如此幸福。
I wish this trip never happened now, because I'm gonna' leave with all these bad memories and all this bad feelings, and it's not how I wanted it to be.
我希望这次旅行现在永远不会发生，因为我会带着所有这些不好的回忆和所有这些不好的感觉离开，而这不是我想要的。
HEIDI CONTINUES: It breaks my heart to know your condition, and that I can't help you as I want to.
海蒂继续说道： 知道你的情况让我心碎，而且我无法按照我的意愿帮助你。
Your expectations of me are more than I can handle, and I wasn't prepared for it.
你对我的期望超出了我的承受能力，而我却没有做好准备。
I wish I could fulfill all your needs, but I will do what I can, and I hope that you will...I just hope that it will be enough.
我希望我能满足你所有的需求，但我会尽力而为，我希望你能……我只是希望这就足够了。
HEIDI CONTINUES: My mother gave me this picture of her and she said my father when he was here, he used to keep that picture in his room.
海蒂继续说道：我母亲给了我她的这张照片，她说我父亲在这里的时候，他常常把那张照片放在他的房间里。
I don't have much motivation as far as looking for my dad.
我没有太多的动力去寻找我的父亲。
Part of me really, really would like to know and find him and stuff.
我的一部分真的非常想了解并找到他之类的东西。
But do I want anymore?
但我还想要吗？
Do I want to open anymore cans of worms, y'know?
我还想再打开蠕虫罐头吗，你知道吗？
I'm not sure I do.
我不确定我是否知道。
I kiss you to keep your essence with me.
我吻你是为了让你的本质留在我身边。
We have only a few minutes left.
我们只剩下几分钟了。
We'll see each other again one day.
总有一天我们会再次见面的。
Now I give you my address so you'll write a letter to me.
现在我给你我的地址，以便你给我写信。
Okay.
好的。
Okay -- okay--okay.
好吧——好吧——好吧。
Well, I'm going to the airport, kay?
好吧，我要去机场，好吗？
Ciao, family.
再见，家人。
I love you.
我爱你。
You're my girl....no cries, no cries.
你是我的女孩……不要哭，不要哭。
I came home, and I just surrounded myself with the kids.
我回到家，周围都是孩子们。
I didn't want to do anything but be with them.
我什么都不想做，只想和他们在一起。
I've only been back three weeks, you know, so...
我才回来三个星期，你知道，所以...
I'd ask her about the trip, and she'd tell me in very general terms, and then she's expect me to understand -- in depth -- how she felt, and be able to discuss things with her, and I'm like: "I asked you questions and you're not telling me anything.
我会问她关于这次旅行的事情，她会用非常笼统的方式告诉我，然后她希望我能够深入了解她的感受，并能够与她讨论事情，我会说：“我问了你问题，但你什么也没告诉我。
I mean I don't know anything, I don't know how you felt while you were there.
我的意思是我什么都不知道，我不知道你在那里时的感受。
There's no way I could understand.
我根本无法理解。
You're not even trying to make me understand." And that would really just infuriate her.
你根本就没有试图让我明白。”这真的会激怒她。
It was just last week that she told me, here it goes again, she says: "why don't you ask me any questions about my trip?" And I'm like: "Heidi, it was a week ago that we just stopped talking about it because we weren't getting anywhere because we weren't getting anywhere 'cause you weren't telling me anything about it -- and I asked you plenty of questions...
就在上周，她告诉我，现在又这样了，她说：“你为什么不问我有关我旅行的任何问题？”我说：“海蒂，一周前我们就停止谈论这件事了，因为我们没有取得任何进展，因为你没有告诉我任何关于这件事的事情——而我问了你很多问题......
'oh!
'哦！
When did you ask me any questions?!"
你什么时候问过我问题了？！”
The only thing I regret was that as a Vietnamese, I thought what I said was normal.
我唯一遗憾的是，作为一个越南人，我认为我说的话很正常。
But for an American, it was a shock.
但对于一个美国人来说，这是一个震惊。
This is very common in Vietnam.
这在越南很常见。
In a family, if you're better off...
在一个家庭里，如果你过得更好……
you might help us out.
你也许可以帮助我们。
But Hiep couldn't understand that.
但希普无法理解这一点。
I'll study English so I can write them a letter, then she'll understand what kind of person her brother is.
我会学习英语，这样我就可以给他们写信，然后她就会明白她哥哥是一个什么样的人。
You passed away mother...
你去世了，母亲……
Hiep is gone...I burn incense to you, mother.
希普走了……我给你烧香，妈妈。
I'm in so much pain.
我很痛苦。
I don't know what to do.
我不知道该怎么办。
Please protect Hiep and her children, so they will come back and help build your tomb.
请保护希普和她的孩子们，这样他们就会回来帮助建造你的坟墓。
The last day she gave me a self-addressed envelope with her address on it, and it just sits on the table.
最后一天，她给了我一个写好地址的信封，上面写着她的地址，它就放在桌子上。
And, y'know, I look at it but I just look at it and walk by and say I can't.
而且，你知道，我看着它，但我只是看着它，然后走过来说我不能。
I wouldn't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么。
That's still to me a fuzzy dream that happened.
那对我来说仍然是一个模糊的梦。
This is what I know, and this is what I grew up with.
这就是我所知道的，这就是我成长的。
I'm glad you went over there, and I'm glad you made a lot of pictures too.
我很高兴你去了那里，我很高兴你也拍了很多照片。
Yeah, as well as anybody should I guess.
是的，我猜任何人都应该如此。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Grandma -- how long've you had this corn in here?
奶奶——你把这些玉米放在这里多久了？
The few contacts I've had with them -- every letter they wrote was a plea for money.
我和他们有过几次接触——他们写的每封信都是要钱的。
I felt like I couldn't do this anymore.
我觉得我不能再这样做了。
It was just too hard for me emotionally.
在情感上这对我来说太难了。
And now it's -- I hardly hear from them, and of course they don't hear from me at all.
现在，我几乎听不到他们的消息，当然他们也根本听不到我的消息。
And let's find your mommy.
我们去找你妈妈吧。
Where is she?
她在哪儿？
It sure is.
确实如此。
And she's laughing out loud.
她大声笑起来。
Hear her?
听到她的声音了吗？
Can't you hear her laughing?
你听不到她在笑吗？
(grandma laughs) Yeah, she can hear her laughing!
（奶奶笑）是啊，她能听到她在笑！
Your momma' said they were working in the rice fields.
你妈妈说他们正在稻田里干活。
You know what rice is?
你知道什么是大米吗？
You eat rice?
你吃米饭吗？
You like me and she's like her mother.
你喜欢我，她就像她妈妈。
But I like rice now, so I guess I like rice if it's cooked real good.
但我现在喜欢米饭，所以我想我喜欢煮得很好的米饭。
Looking back, I just feel really bad the way I handled it.
回想起来，我只是觉得自己处理事情的方式很糟糕。
But I don't know them.
但我不认识他们。
They're strangers to me.
他们对我来说是陌生人。
I guess I have closed the door on them.
我想我已经对他们关上了门。
But I didn't lock the door.
但我没有锁门。
It's closed, but it's not locked.
它是关闭的，但没有上锁。
Danang, Vietnam.
越南岘港。
Pulaski, Tennessee.
田纳西州普拉斯基。
Heidi can trace her origins back to two hometowns, on opposite sides of the globe.
海蒂的起源可以追溯到地球两端的两个家乡。
Andrew Lam, a California-based journalist, short story writer, and National Public Radio commentator shares his thoughts on Vietnam and America.
加州记者、短篇小说作家兼国家公共广播电台评论员安德鲁·林 (Andrew Lam) 分享了他对越南和美国的看法。
Boston-based documentary photographer Bill Burke has made extensive trips throughout Southeast Asia.
波士顿的纪实摄影师比尔·伯克 (Bill Burke) 曾在东南亚进行过多次旅行。
Heidi Bub was named Mai Thi Hiep at her birth in Danang in southern Vietnam.
海蒂·布布 (Heidi Bub) 在越南南部的岘港出生时被命名为 Mai Thi Hiep。
Through a difficult time of war and devastation, Mai Thi Kim managed to keep her four children fed, clothed and sheltered.
在战争和破坏的艰难时期，麦蒂金设法让她的四个孩子有饭吃、有衣服穿、有住所。
Had Kim not sent little Hiep to the United States, Vinh said he would have raised her as his own child.
Vinh 说，如果 Kim 没有把小 Hiep 送到美国，他会把她当作自己的孩子来抚养。
During the final days of the Vietnam War, the U.S. government began boarding Vietnamese children onto military transport planes bound for adoption.
在越南战争的最后几天，美国政府开始将越南儿童送上军用运输机前往收养。
By 1970, 33 American NGOs, representing all sides of the political spectrum, were providing aid in Vietnam.
到 1970 年，代表政治光谱各派的 33 个美国非政府组织在越南提供援助。
In 1693, Governor Sir William Phips of Massachusetts adopts a son, marking the first recorded legal adoption in the colonies.
1693 年，马萨诸塞州总督威廉·菲普斯爵士收养了一个儿子，这是殖民地首次有记录的合法收养。
California filmmakers Gail Dolgin and Vicente Franco's lives changed when they met Heidi Bub.
加州电影制片人盖尔·多尔金 (Gail Dolgin) 和文森特·佛朗哥 (Vicente Franco) 的生活在遇到海蒂·巴布 (Heidi Bub) 后发生了改变。