The Amish: Shunned

Amish Man One (audio): : Everything has to be done in love.

阿米什人一（音频）：：一切都必须用爱来完成。

If shunning is done in true love of God, then it can be very effective.

如果回避是出于对神的真爱，那么它会非常有效。

Slate: The Amish do not allow on-camera interviews.

Slate：阿米什人不允许接受镜头采访。

The unidentified voices in this film are theirs.

影片中那些身份不明的声音就是他们的。

Amish Man One (audio): : To the outsiders, shunning seems harsh.

阿米什人一（音频）：：对于局外人来说，回避似乎很残酷。

And it can be harsh.

这可能很严酷。

We had it in our home.

我们家里有它。

It is brutal.

这是残酷的。

We love to sit at the same table to eat, and you cannot.

我们喜欢坐在同一张桌子上吃饭，而你不能。

Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter.

圣诞节、感恩节、复活节。

They’re not a part of the family.

他们不是家庭的一部分。

Paul (audio): : As one minister put it, “It’s the New Testament equivalent of stoning someone to death.” That’s what shunning is.

保罗（音频）：正如一位牧师所说，“这相当于新约中用石头砸死某人。”这就是回避。

You put them out of the church.

你把他们赶出了教堂。

If you see them in need, you’re to help them.

如果你看到他们有需要，你就要帮助他们。

But you have no social contact.

但你们没有社交联系。

You take nothing out of their hand, under any circumstance.

在任何情况下，你都不能从他们手中夺走任何东西。

You don’t eat with them.

你不和他们一起吃饭。

They’re unclean.

他们是不洁净的。

Slate: : If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee…

石板：如果你的右眼冒犯了你，就把它挖出来扔掉……

Matthew 5:29

马太福音 5:29

Anna (audio): : I didn’t tell anybody that I am leaving.

安娜（音频）：：我没有告诉任何人我要离开。

If I tell them, they will keep me from going.

如果我告诉他们，他们就会阻止我去。

Because there are rules.

因为有规则。

They will say we aren’t supposed to leave.

他们会说我们不应该离开。

I wait until it was dark.

我等到天黑了。

I ran out of the house.

我跑出家门。

I think it was 2:00 in the morning.

我记得当时是凌晨 2:00。

I don’t make light at all, so if there is somebody they don’t see light.

我根本不发光，所以如果有人，他们就看不到光。

I take some books along in my pocket: a prayer book and what we call a recipe book.

我口袋里带着一些书：一本祈祷书和一本我们所说的食谱书。

I had nothing else with me.

我身上没有别的东西。

I stay over night in a barn, and went the next day to the bus and get a ticket.

我在谷仓里过夜，第二天就去乘公共汽车并买票。

Went with the Greyhound to Connecticut.

和灰狗一起去了康涅狄格州。

Saloma: : I got a call, and it was this man saying that he had just found my name on the Internet, and he needed someone to help a runaway from an Amish community.

萨洛玛：：我接到一个电话，这个人说他刚刚在互联网上找到了我的名字，他需要有人帮助一个从阿米什社区逃亡的人。

I was still in my nightgown.

我还穿着睡衣。

I was thinking to myself, “Wow, you know, this could have been me.

我心里想：“哇，你知道，这可能就是我。

This could have been me 34 years ago.”

这可能就是34年前的我。”

Saloma (audio): : How old were you when you joined the church?

萨洛玛（音频）：您加入教会时几岁？

Anna (audio): : If we didn’t join church we cannot marry.

安娜（音频）：：如果我们不加入教会，我们就不能结婚。

Saloma: : Of course not, I know.

Saloma：：当然不是，我知道。

Unfair, isn’t it?

不公平，不是吗？

So he never asked you for a date?

所以他从来没有向你提出过约会？

Anna (audio): : I had one date with him, but he didn’t ask for back.

安娜（音频）：：我和他有过一次约会，但他没有要求回来。

Saloma: : Why is it that you choose not to be on camera right now?

Saloma：您为什么选择现在不出现在镜头前？

Saloma: : What do you think would happen if you went back tomorrow?

萨洛玛：如果你明天回去的话，你认为会发生什么？

Saloma (in Pennsylvania German, subtitled): : Will they continue to shun you if you go back?

萨洛玛（宾夕法尼亚德语，字幕）：如果你回去，他们会继续避开你吗？

Anna (audio, in Pennsylvania German, subtitled): : Maybe four weeks, unless I cut my hair.

安娜（音频，宾夕法尼亚德语，字幕）：：可能四个星期，除非我剪头发。

If I cut my hair I will have to wait until it grows back to the length it was.

If I cut my hair I will have to wait until it grows back to the length it was.

Saloma (audio, in Pennsylvania German, subtitled): : Is there anyone at home you could have talked to about leaving?

Saloma (audio, in Pennsylvania German, subtitled): : Is there anyone at home you could have talked to about leaving?

Amish Man Two (audio): : It’s the disobedient people who leave the Amish church.

阿米什人二（音频）：：离开阿米什教会的是那些不听话的人。

They wanted something that was not allowable.

他们想要一些不被允许的东西。

So they just moved on.

所以他们就继续前进。

If we're not obedient, we will fall by the wayside.

如果我们不听话，我们就会半途而废。

But how can you be obedient when you don’t have any rules?

但如果没有规则，你怎么能服从呢？

Some people don’t understand our church rules, and they don’t need to.

有些人不了解我们教会的规则，他们也不需要了解。

It’s not necessary that you people understand all the church rules that we have.

你们没有必要了解我们所有的教会规则。

That’s our thing.

那是我们的事。

When we lose obedience, we lose the church.

当我们失去顺服时，我们就失去了教会。

Amen.

阿门。

Naomi: : I grew up in a small Amish community in Jamesport, Missouri.

内奥米：我在密苏里州詹姆斯波特的一个阿米什小社区长大。

It’s a very tight-knit, close community, and your world is really small.

这是一个非常紧密、紧密的社区，你的世界真的很小。

Very sheltered.

非常受庇护。

When I was younger, I used to be kind of disappointed that I was never allowed to wear, like, a prom gown and go to prom.

当我年轻的时候，我曾经有点失望，因为我从来没有被允许穿着舞会礼服去参加舞会。

But the Amish have the rules because they want to hold back.

但阿米什人有规则，因为他们想克制。

They believe in keeping away from the world, and if you allow one thing after another, pretty soon you wouldn’t have the culture anymore.

They believe in keeping away from the world, and if you allow one thing after another, pretty soon you wouldn’t have the culture anymore.

When I was 18 years old, we had a call from this lady named Robin.

When I was 18 years old, we had a call from this lady named Robin.

She was writing a book about teenagers from different cultures and religions, and she was interviewing them.

她正在写一本关于来自不同文化和宗教的青少年的书，并且正在采访他们。

So she wanted to interview some Amish girls.

所以她想采访一些阿米什女孩。

She came to our farm, and she started shooting a bunch of photos of us.

她来到我们的农场，开始给我们拍摄一堆照片。

I remember being kind of uncomfortable.

我记得当时有点不舒服。

Amish do not believe in having their picture taken.

Amish do not believe in having their picture taken.

And we were always told to not pose.

我们总是被告知不要摆姿势。

I’m kind of surprised Mom and Dad allowed that.

我有点惊讶爸爸妈妈允许这样做。

My family has seven kids.

我的家人有七个孩子。

I used to say "just seven," but I learned really fast that in the dominant culture and America, seven is a lot of kids.

I used to say "just seven," but I learned really fast that in the dominant culture and America, seven is a lot of kids.

Me and my sister Marjorie would milk the cow every morning and evening.

我和我的妹妹玛乔丽每天早上和晚上都会给奶牛挤奶。

You learn how to work at a very young age, how to do chores.

你很小的时候就学会了如何工作，如何做家务。

Things that prepare you in the future to be a housewife and a mother.

Things that prepare you in the future to be a housewife and a mother.

When Robin came to visit, it was the first time we had ever met someone from the city.

当罗宾来拜访时，这是我们第一次见到来自城里的人。

She was showing us these pictures of other teenagers.

She was showing us these pictures of other teenagers.

To show that there’s another world out there.

为了表明外面还有另一个世界。

At that time I felt very strongly about being Amish.

At that time I felt very strongly about being Amish.

But it kind of made you think about, "Well, maybe we are missing out."

但这让你想到，“好吧，也许我们错过了。”

Saloma: : I didn’t even know that photograph existed until many years later, after I’d left the Amish.

Saloma: : I didn’t even know that photograph existed until many years later, after I’d left the Amish.

That morning, my mother knew that it was picture day at school, and she said, “If they make you take the class picture, that’s okay.” She didn’t say anything about the individual pictures.

那天早上，我妈妈知道今天是学校拍照日，她说：“如果他们让你拍班级照片，那也没关系。”她没有对个别照片说任何话。

I went off to school, stood in line like everybody else, and when it was my turn, I got right up on that stool, smiled into the lights and the camera -- no teeth, you know, no teeth in the front -- and thought, “Mm-hm!

我去上学，像其他人一样排队，当轮到我时，我直接站在凳子上，对着灯光和镜头微笑——没有牙齿，你知道，前面没有牙齿——然后想，“嗯嗯！

Got you, Mom!”

找到你了，妈妈！”

For people who have a lot of photographs of themselves as children, they probably can’t fathom only having a mental picture.

对于那些拥有大量自己小时候照片的人来说，他们可能无法理解只有一张脑海中的照片。

I almost didn’t recognize myself.

我差点认不出自己了。

I look happy there.

我在那里看起来很高兴。

And I didn’t remember being happy.

而且我不记得我很高兴。

Uffgevva.

乌夫格瓦。

Uffgevva means to give in, or to give up, to give up yourself.

Uffgevva means to give in, or to give up, to give up yourself.

When I went to my first communion service, the bishop said, "Each individual grain must give up its individuality to become part of this loaf of bread.

当我第一次参加圣餐仪式时，主教说：“每一粒谷物都必须放弃其个性，才能成为这条面包的一部分。

And in that same way, each of us must give up our individuality to become part of the community." I remember thinking to myself, "I hope I’m one of those grains that falls off the grindstone.

And in that same way, each of us must give up our individuality to become part of the community." I remember thinking to myself, "I hope I’m one of those grains that falls off the grindstone.

I don’t want to be ground up."

我不想被碾碎。”

Levi: : I guess I always wanted to leave.

利威尔：：我想我一直想离开。

I was dressing Amish, but I wasn’t living up to the Amish rules and stuff, anyways.

我在给阿米什人穿衣服，但无论如何，我并没有遵守阿米什人的规则之类的东西。

For me, I wanted to experience a different life.

对于我来说，我想体验不一样的生活。

I wanted to go out and drive a truck or something like that.

我想出去开卡车之类的。

I just thought that was -- oh, that would be cool.

I just thought that was -- oh, that would be cool.

Out here I have electric, TV, and…

我这里有电、电视和……

Back then, that was everything to us then, to have phones, radios and stuff like that.

那时候，拥有电话、收音机之类的东西对我们来说就是一切。

Of course our parents, they didn’t like that.

当然，我们的父母不喜欢这样。

They would say it’s worldly.

他们会说这是世俗的。

It’s against the rules.

这是违反规则的。

They always would end up finding it one time or another.

They always would end up finding it one time or another.

You’d get careless with it and end up getting caught.

你可能会粗心大意，最终会被抓住。

My dad would either burn them or smash them up.

我爸爸要么烧掉它们，要么把它们砸碎。

I mean, I didn’t understand all the rules, and I just -- I didn’t think -- a lot of them didn’t make sense.

我的意思是，我不理解所有规则，而且我只是——我不认为——其中很多规则没有意义。

But then again, I had a pretty good life with my family.

但话又说回来，我和家人过着美好的生活。

I've got two brothers and three sisters.

我有两个兄弟和三个姐妹。

I knew how hard it was when my brother left.

当我哥哥离开时，我知道我的心情有多难受。

To see how heartbreaking it was to my parents.

看看我的父母是多么心碎。

That made it hard for me to leave.

这让我很难离开。

Jan: : I started painting these in the years after I left the Amish, to show other people what I had seen.

Jan: : I started painting these in the years after I left the Amish, to show other people what I had seen.

I didn’t see television or read magazines.

我没有看电视或读杂志。

I didn’t have newspapers.

我没有报纸。

This is what I saw.

这就是我所看到的。

I grew up in Akron, Ohio.

我在俄亥俄州阿克伦长大。

I got married early.

我很早就结婚了。

In the early 70s, we moved from the suburbs of Akron out to the country.

70 年代初，我们从阿克伦郊区搬到了乡村。

We were isolated, trying to figure out how to live on the land.

我们被孤立了，试图弄清楚如何在这片土地上生活。

Needing a lot of assistance.

需要很多帮助。

We weren’t doing a very good job of it.

我们在这方面做得不太好。

The Amish lived in connecting farms all over for miles.

阿米什人居住在绵延数英里的农场里。

We would go over there and visit, maybe just to buy eggs or something like that.

我们会去那里参观，也许只是为了买鸡蛋或类似的东西。

They knew how to live off the land successfully and happily.

他们知道如何在这片土地上成功而幸福地生活。

We, I guess, probably envied what they had, and thought, "Well, if they can do it, we can too."

我想，我们可能很羡慕他们所拥有的一切，并想：“好吧，如果他们能做到，我们也能做到。”

We probably had been there maybe 10 years already.

我们可能已经在那里呆了大概10年了。

We were starting to wear plain clothing and starting to go to some of their church services, and probably I felt there would be more acceptance upon being a member.

我们开始穿便衣，开始去参加他们的一些教堂礼拜，也许我觉得成为会员后会得到更多的接受。

I'd be viewed as more committed.

我会被视为更加忠诚。

I thought I was joining for life.

我以为我会终生加入。

I thought, this is what I’m going to do.

我想，这就是我要做的。

Paul: : My parents were idealistic.

保罗：：我的父母都是理想主义者。

That picture.

那张照片。

It’s kind of like the vacation gone awry.

这有点像假期出了差错。

It’s the picture taken before they hop in their canoe and go down the river.

这是他们跳上独木舟顺流而下之前拍的照片。

Everybody’s happy.

大家都很高兴。

"We’re going to have a fun ride."

“我们将会度过一段愉快的旅程。”

We had no idea what it meant to be Amish.

我们不知道阿米什人意味着什么。

We thought a clothes change, and probably a little more, but we had no idea how much more.

我们想换衣服，可能还要多换一点，但我们不知道要多换多少。

Learning the functional skills of the Amish was relatively easy.

学习阿米什人的实用技能相对容易。

I enjoyed breaking the horses and milking cows and feeding hogs and cutting timber.

我喜欢驯马、挤奶、喂猪和砍伐木材。

But that was trivial compared to learning the language and understanding the culture.

但与学习语言和了解文化相比，这微不足道。

We were the outsider in their world.

在他们的世界里，我们是局外人。

And we were the butt of a lot of jokes.

我们成了很多笑话的笑柄。

It’s a very rigid society.

这是一个非常僵化的社会。

Everything about your life you’re told what you can and can’t do.

关于你生活的一切，你都会被告知你能做什么和不能做什么。

It is preached often in the sermons.

它经常在布道中宣讲。

It’s spoken of by the ministers.

这是大臣们议论的。

Everyone needs to know their place.

每个人都需要知道自己的位置。

Everyone needs to remain in their place.

每个人都需要留在自己的位置上。

It’s very comforting to know your place, in a lot of ways, as long as you’re content with that.

在很多方面了解自己的位置是非常令人欣慰的，只要你对此感到满意。

And if you’re not content with that, then you’re going to have a hard go of it.

如果你对此不满意，那么你就会遇到困难。

Amish Woman One (audio): : It isn’t for everybody.

阿米什女人一（音频）：：这并不适合所有人。

Not everybody can do it.

不是每个人都能做到。

If you know where your boundaries are and you respect them and you’re happy there, it brings a freedom.

如果你知道自己的界限在哪里并且尊重它们并且在那里你感到快乐，它会带来自由。

I remember when I first had thoughts about maybe not joining the church, because it looked like it would be so much easier to enjoy life.

我记得当我第一次考虑是否加入教会时，因为看起来享受生活会容易得多。

I mean, not that I didn’t enjoy my life, but I guess I looked out sometimes at the cars and the TVs and the things, and I just thought it would be so great sometimes to have that.

我的意思是，并不是说我不享受我的生活，但我想我有时会看看外面的汽车、电视和其他东西，我只是觉得有时拥有这些真是太好了。

But then, you know, if you leave, you just won’t have the connection with the family, all my aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters, cousins, and the close-knit relationship.

但是，你知道，如果你离开，你就不会与家人、我所有的阿姨、叔叔、兄弟姐妹、表兄弟姐妹以及紧密的关系建立联系。

I would be living such a different lifestyle.

我会过着如此不同的生活方式。

And because I would have broken my promises to the church, I almost wouldn’t be comfortable with my family anymore.

因为我会违背对教会的承诺，我几乎不会再和我的家人在一起感到舒服了。

It’s just not the same.

只是不一样。

The growing up, my childhood, the happiness of that…

成长、童年、幸福……

I wanted that for my children.

我希望我的孩子们也能这样。

Joe: : When my cousin left, I remember being absolutely devastated.

乔：：当我表弟离开时，我记得我感到非常沮丧。

I was 15 years old.

那年我15岁。

And I remember crawling up into the top part of a barn, and I lay down in probably a half inch of dust.

我记得爬进谷仓的顶部，然后躺在大约半英寸的灰尘中。

And I remember just crying my eyes out, begging God to save my cousin Eli.

我记得我当时哭得眼泪汪汪，祈求上帝拯救我的表弟伊莱。

For those of us who had been born within the Amish culture, we had to stay Amish.

对于我们这些出生在阿米什文化中的人来说，我们必须保持阿米什人的身份。

We could not go out into the world.

我们无法走进外面的世界。

And if we did, there was no chance for us to go to heaven.

如果我们这样做了，我们就没有机会去天堂了。

I called him up and I just said, "Eli, think about being in hell!

我打电话给他，只是说：“伊莱，想想在地狱里吧！

Just think about it!" and tried to describe the flames and the pain and all of that.

你想想吧！”并试图描述火焰和痛苦等等。

I thought I would never do that.

我以为我永远不会那样做。

Never, if I lived for a thousand years, would I leave the Amish.

如果我能活一千年，我绝不会离开阿米什人。

Eli did come back, and for almost a year and a half, two years, we were best friends.

伊莱确实回来了，在将近一年半、两年的时间里，我们是最好的朋友。

But at the age of 16, we just decided to leave it, leave it all.

但在16岁的时候，我们决定离开它，离开这一切。

I didn’t even think about going to hell.

我什至没有想过要下地狱。

I just thought about the moment.

我只是想到了那一刻。

And I didn’t like being under the authority of the church and my parents.

我不喜欢受到教会和父母的权威。

We got together and left notes in our parents’ mailboxes.

我们聚在一起，在父母的邮箱里留了纸条。

That was on a Sunday night about midnight.

那是在周日晚上午夜左右。

And we started walking.

我们开始步行。

And we walked and walked toward town.

我们一直走啊走，朝镇子走去。

Later that day we both got jeans and a t-shirt and white tennis shoes, and had just enough money to buy that.

那天晚些时候，我们都买了牛仔裤、T 恤和白色网球鞋，而且钱刚好够买。

Then we went out back and threw our Amish clothes down.

然后我们出去把阿米什人的衣服扔掉。

Never saw those Amish clothes ever again.

再也没有见过那些阿米什人的衣服。

We had no place to go.

我们没有地方可去。

We had no job.

我们没有工作。

Had no idea how to survive in the culture out here.

不知道如何在这里的文化中生存。

Absolutely zero.

绝对为零。

Anna (audio): : I left six weeks now.

安娜（音频）：：我已经离开六周了。

Long time.

很久。

It seems like six months.

好像是六个月吧。

I never see any Amish houses or buggies since I am out here.

自从我来到这里以来，我从未见过任何阿米什人的房屋或马车。

It seems very far away now.

现在看来还很遥远。

I was in Connecticut.

我当时在康涅狄格州。

Cleaning and taking care of a house.

清洁和照顾房子。

But I’m going to live here now with Saloma.

但我现在要和萨洛玛一起住在这里。

There are some things that English don’t understand about Amish.

关于阿米什人，有些事情是英语无法理解的。

Like how Amish rules are and things like that.

比如阿米什人的规则等等。

I were very lucky to find Saloma.

我很幸运找到了萨洛玛。

To talk to her about things.

跟她说一些事情。

In my home church, there was just one boy that don’t have a girlfriend.

在我家乡的教堂里，只有一个男孩没有女朋友。

There were not a lot of choice of dating.

约会的选择并不多。

There are five different Amish groups in my area.

我所在的地区有五个不同的阿米什团体。

But I am the strictest of those five groups.

但我是这五个群体中最严格的一个。

So we cannot date with other groups.

所以我们不能和其他团体约会。

I was 23 when I left.

我离开时23岁。

I was the age where people would not really think about having a date with me.

在我这个年纪，人们不会真正考虑和我约会。

And they would call me an old maid.

他们会称我为老处女。

Anna: : So far it’s nice to be out here.

安娜：：到目前为止，来到这里感觉很好。

I bake bread and cookies and do weeding.

我烤面包和饼干并除草。

And now I start making baskets.

现在我开始制作篮子。

Trying to make an income.

努力赚取收入。

Anna (voiceover): : I think I am homesick.

安娜（画外音）：：我想我想家了。

I miss my family.

我想念我的家人。

I write them three letters.

我给他们写了三封信。

But they didn’t write back so far.

但他们至今还没有回信。

I don’t think that they have a lot to say if I am not staying Amish.

如果我不继续做阿米什人，我认为他们没什么可说的。

Levi: : I mean, you forget a lot of the rules and stuff the longer you’re out here.

利威尔：我的意思是，你在这里呆的时间越长，你就会忘记很多规则和东西。

You don’t realize how strict they really are.

你没有意识到他们到底有多严格。

Driving a buggy, it takes forever to get somewhere, and if it’s raining or something you get all wet.

驾驶一辆越野车，要花很长时间才能到达某个地方，如果下雨或者发生什么事情，你就会全身湿透。

In the cold wintertime you freeze.

在寒冷的冬天，你会冻僵。

It would be really hard for me to live that life anymore.

我真的很难再过那样的生活了。

I waited until I was 17 and I finally -- you know, I got caught with a phone again, I knew I was getting in trouble for it, and I just decided to leave.

我一直等到 17 岁，终于——你知道，我再次因为手机被抓，我知道我会因此而陷入麻烦，所以我决定离开。

The night came, and I crawled out my window and down the chimney pipe.

夜幕降临，我爬出窗外，顺着烟囱爬下去。

My friend was going to meet me about a quarter mile up the road.

我的朋友将在大约四分之一英里的路上与我会面。

Then my cousin came and picked us up.

然后我表弟来接我们了。

Got us haircuts and then we got on the bus, Trailways, and went to Iowa.

我们理了发，然后上了巴士，Trailways，去了爱荷华州。

They always talk about the bad stuff that happens to the kids that leave.

他们总是谈论离开的孩子身上发生的坏事。

So I kind of figured it would be tough.

所以我觉得这会很困难。

Once I left, it was actually not as hard as I thought it would be.

离开之后，其实并没有我想象的那么难。

Actually, I mean, it was pretty awesome.

事实上，我的意思是，这真是太棒了。

Car Salesman: : I’ll sell you the car for $2110.

汽车推销员：：我以 2110 美元的价格卖给你这辆车。

For tax, title, doc fee, everything, it’s $2500 even.

税费、产权证、文件费等一切费用，甚至是 2500 美元。

Car Salesman: : I’ll start printing the paperwork.

汽车销售员：：我要开始打印文件了。

I have to go out and write down the actual miles that are on the car…

我必须出去写下汽车的实际里程……

Naomi: : It was really hard for me to not wear my covering at first.

Naomi：：一开始我很难不戴被子。

It’s kind of rooted in us that you wear a head covering for prayer and to signify submission.

祈祷时戴头巾并表示顺从，这在我们心中根深蒂固。

And for the longest time even after I wore street clothes I still had a covering beneath my pillow that I would use to pray, because it was kind of like I didn’t think God could hear me unless I had my head covered.

在很长一段时间里，即使我穿着便装，我的枕头下仍然有一块被子，我会用它来祈祷，因为这有点像我不认为上帝能听到我，除非我把头蒙住。

When I first left the culture, I was 19 years old.

当我第一次离开这个文化时，我才 19 岁。

And I flew to Florida on an airplane, and it was my first time flying.

我乘坐飞机飞往佛罗里达，这是我第一次飞行。

My palms were all sweaty, and my heart was pounding.

我的手心全是汗，心砰砰直跳。

It was a really big step for me.

这对我来说是非常大的一步。

Really big step.

真是迈出了一大步。

I had no plans to leave the culture.

我没有计划离开这种文化。

I just wanted to go to Florida, to get away, get out of my community for a while.

我只是想去佛罗里达，离开我的社区一段时间。

I had an aunt and uncle who lived there during the wintertime, so I had my parents' blessings.

我的叔叔婶婶冬天都住在那里，所以我得到了父母的祝福。

If I would have looked forward and seen that I wouldn’t come back, I don’t know if I could have gotten on that plane and left.

如果我向前看，发现我不会回来，我不知道我是否可以登上那架飞机并离开。

Jan: : In the Amish, everything is tradition.

Jan: : 在阿米什人中，一切都是传统。

You do it the way that it’s always been done, the way that the people before you and before them always did it.

你按照一贯的方式做事，按照你之前的人和他们之前的人一直做的方式做事。

I don’t think we missed it initially; say, the freedom to choose what color your shoes are going to be, or what colors you could put in a quilt.

我不认为我们一开始就错过了；比如，可以自由选择鞋子的颜色，或者被子的颜色。

By that time we had accepted the way things were done as the way they were done.

到那时，我们已经接受了事情的做事方式就是他们做事的方式。

That was that.

就是这样。

And then my son Paul got married.

然后我的儿子保罗结婚了。

Paul: : Up to that point, nobody ever looked real close at what my parents did.

保罗：：到目前为止，没有人真正仔细观察过我父母的所作所为。

They just said, "Well, they’re worldly people." We were off to the edge, and it wasn’t a problem.

他们只是说：“好吧，他们是世俗的人。”我们已经走到了边缘，这不是问题。

But after I got married, that entered an authentic German person into my family’s circle.

但在我结婚后，一个真正的德国人就进入了我的家庭圈子。

Her dad was a senior bishop, and my family couldn’t do the things that they had done for years, without being noticed.

她的父亲是一位高级主教，我的家人不可能做他们多年来所做的事情而不被注意到。

Jan: : We had the eyes of the community in our house now.

Jan：：现在我们的房子里受到了社区的关注。

And it wasn’t that we were doing anything terribly illegal by Amish standards or, you know, we weren’t wearing red pajamas or anything.

按照阿米什人的标准，我们并没有做任何非常非法的事情，或者，你知道，我们没有穿红色睡衣或任何东西。

But probably some of our thought and conversation might not have been approved of.

但我们的一些想法和谈话可能没有得到认可。

There was more awareness that you weren’t speaking Pennsylvania Dutch, so you’d try harder, or maybe not speak.

人们更多地意识到你不会说宾夕法尼亚荷兰语，所以你会更加努力，或者可能不说话。

Because she might hear you.

因为她可能会听到你的声音。

She might tell people.

她可能会告诉人们。

At that point, I realized I’ve given up maybe too much.

那时，我意识到我已经放弃了太多。

I’ve given up my ability to even speak freely in my own home.

我什至放弃了在自己家里自由发言的能力。

That was the beginning of the end.

那是结束的开始。

We stayed home from church one Sunday.

一个星期天，我们没有去教堂，待在家里。

Well, you don’t do that.

好吧，你不这样做。

If you are not deathly ill on a bed, you go to church.

如果你没有病入膏肓，你就去教堂。

And we didn’t go.

然后我们就没有去。

By the second time we missed church, people started stopping in to visit and the bishops and the ministers were calling.

当我们第二次错过教堂时，人们开始停下来参观，主教和牧师们都打电话来。

The following Sunday we were shunned, then excommunicated until further notice.

接下来的周日，我们被避开，然后被逐出教会，直到另行通知。

Saloma: : Even from a very young age, I always saw this side of my mother that wanted a little more freedom, questioned the Amish faith, but then she’d try to fold herself into that and be the good Amish woman, the submissive Amish woman.

萨洛玛：即使从很小的时候起，我就一直看到我母亲想要更多一点自由、质疑阿米什信仰的这一面，但后来她试图将自己融入其中，成为一个善良的阿米什女人，一个顺从的阿米什女人。

I could never do that.

我永远做不到。

And my mother took it as a personal rejection.

我母亲认为这是个人的拒绝。

I was 20 years old when I finally decided to leave.

当我20岁的时候，我终于决定离开。

I came down the stairs with my suitcase in hand and went out the door.

我提着行李箱走下楼梯，出了门。

I looked back, and I saw my mother gazing out the window.

我回头一看，妈妈正凝视着窗外。

And I waved to her.

我向她挥手。

And I was thinking to myself, "Am I ever going to see her again?"

我心里想：“我还能再见到她吗？”

Slate: “What man, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave ninety nine…

石板：“谁有一百只羊，丢了一只，不留下九十九只……

and go after the one…?” Luke 15:4

然后去追那个……？”路加福音 15:4

Amish Man One (audio): : There’s certain things in life you can’t prepare for.

阿米什人一（音频）：：生活中有些事情是你无法准备的。

If one of our children decided to go out there into what we call the world, it would hurt terribly.

如果我们的一个孩子决定走出去，进入我们所谓的世界，那将会受到极大的伤害。

If they think they like better what’s out in the world than they do what’s in here with us as a family, as a church, the responsibility then would lay on that child’s shoulder.

如果他们认为自己更喜欢外面的世界，而不是和我们作为一个家庭、一个教会在一起，那么责任就会落在那个孩子的肩上。

They made that choice.

他们做出了这样的选择。

We still have to take care of the ones that are home.

我们还是得照顾家里的人。

And the influence that child has on the rest of the family is huge.

孩子对家庭其他成员的影响是巨大的。

The Bible teaches us clearly, whoever knows to do good and does it not, it is a sin.

圣经清楚地教导我们，凡知道行善而不去行的，就是罪。

And we feel that sin cannot get into heaven.

我们觉得罪不能进入天堂。

But at the same time, you know, if there’s something that we did that hurt their feelings, that created bitterness, we would just go the second, the third, and the fourth mile, whatever it would take, to bring them back.

但与此同时，你知道，如果我们做了什么事伤害了他们的感情，造成了痛苦，我们就会走第二、第三、第四英里，不惜一切代价，把他们带回来。

If I know that child has made that choice, that child would know Dad’s heart is heavy.

如果我知道孩子做出了这样的选择，孩子就会知道爸爸的心情是沉重的。

Dad’s heart is heavy till the grave.

直到进入坟墓，爸爸的心情都是沉重的。

Levi: : (Reading letter) Hello Levi.

莱维：：（读信）你好，莱维。

This is around Tuesday noon.

这是周二中午左右。

I don’t intend to write any more Bible verses to you.

我不想再给你写任何圣经经文了。

But if the day comes that you want to come home and obey your parents, we would want to help you understand things as we can.

但如果有一天你想回家并服从你的父母，我们会尽力帮助你理解事情。

Come home to stay, please, Levi.

请回家留下来吧，利威尔。

They used to write me a little bit when I first left, but now they don’t seem to even write me anymore, so it's been about two years since I really heard from them.

当我第一次离开时，他们曾经给我写过一些信，但现在他们似乎不再给我写信了，所以我已经有两年没有真正收到他们的消息了。

I mean, you kind of forget it after a couple of years, it kind of fades further and further away, I'd say.

我的意思是，几年后你就会忘记它，我会说它会逐渐消失。

They probably think if they stay away, they don’t have to think about it as much.

他们可能认为如果他们远离，就不必考虑那么多。

And I guess they think they can get over it better.

我想他们认为他们可以更好地克服它。

Also, you know, if they allow us to come back too often, they’d probably get in trouble by the church.

而且，你知道，如果他们允许我们回来太频繁，他们可能会给教会带来麻烦。

(Reading letter) How could they say they honestly love their parents if they are so disobedient?

（读信）父母这么不听话，怎么能说是真心爱父母呢？

My dad would have said, “You know better,” and he would have been right.

我父亲会说：“你更清楚”，他是对的。

This would have probably been my mom, "Dear loved son Levi." Pretty awesome, I guess.

这可能是我的妈妈，“亲爱的儿子利维。”我想，非常棒。

Joe: : I was out for 30 days.

乔：：我缺席了 30 天。

And during that time, my dad used to come into town.

在那段时间，我爸爸经常进城。

He found out where we were staying at.

他找到了我们住的地方。

And we had this open porch with concrete steps.

我们有一个带有混凝土台阶的开放式门廊。

And he’d come in, and he’d sit there all night long.

他进来了，然后整夜坐在那里。

I’d go to bed at night, next morning I wake up, he’s sitting out there on the concrete steps.

我晚上睡觉，第二天早上醒来，他坐在外面的水泥台阶上。

And during that 30-day period, he did not eat one bite.

而在那30天的时间里，他一口饭都没吃。

He fasted.

他禁食了。

Because in his mind, his oldest son was on his way to hell.

因为在他看来，他的大儿子正在走向地狱。

And he was willing to do whatever it took.

并且他愿意不惜一切代价。

At the same time, I remember when he said, "Joe, if you don’t come home by the end of this week, our family has chosen to cut you off forever." And he said, "You are never to come back to any wedding, any funeral, any family reunion, or even on the property." We had fourteen children in our family.

与此同时，我记得他说：“乔，如果你在本周末之前不回家，我们的家人就选择永远与你断绝联系。”他说：“你永远不能回来参加任何婚礼、任何葬礼、任何家庭聚会，甚至不能再回到庄园。”我们家里有十四个孩子。

I could not see myself living through life away from them, and so I went back.

我无法想象自己离开他们生活，所以我回去了。

I went back to the Amish seven times, actually.

事实上，我七次回到阿米什人那里。

Naomi: : It wasn’t a decision that one day I just decided to not be Amish.

内奥米：：这并不是我有一天决定不做阿米什人的决定。

It was not like that at all.

根本不是那样的。

It was a gradual thing.

这是一个渐进的事情。

I went to Florida for a second winter.

我去佛罗里达度过了第二个冬天。

I still dressed Amish and was still practicing the culture.

我仍然穿着阿米什人的衣服，仍然在实践这种文化。

But I got a car because it was really hard to get around in Florida.

但我买了一辆车，因为在佛罗里达州出行真的很困难。

So that was the first step.

这是第一步。

From there I started trying out street clothes.

从那时起我开始尝试街头服装。

I worked in a nursing home for a while.

我在疗养院工作过一段时间。

And that’s kind of when I started asking questions about nursing, like what would I need to do to be, like, a registered nurse someday.

就在那时，我开始问有关护理的问题，比如我需要做什么才能成为一名注册护士。

I’ve always felt called to do nursing.

我一直觉得自己被召唤去从事护理工作。

But education is a huge threat to the Amish.

但教育对阿米什人来说是一个巨大的威胁。

Having an education means some big job somewhere that will take you out of the community.

接受教育意味着在某个地方从事一份重要的工作，这将带你走出社区。

The Amish go to a one-room schoolhouse, and you only go to the eighth grade.

阿米什人上的是一间只有一间房间的校舍，你只能上八年级。

And I was 13 years old when I graduated.

毕业的时候我13岁。

Honoring your father and mother is really important to the Amish culture.

尊敬父母对于阿米什文化来说非常重要。

And it’s kind of hard to really know when do you seek God’s calling over what your parents are telling you what to do?

很难真正知道你什么时候会寻求上帝的呼召而不是父母告诉你该做什么？

At that time, I still believed that I could do both.

那时，我仍然相信我可以两者兼得。

I told myself that I could go back, and I would.

我告诉自己我可以回去，我会的。

Anna (audio): : It’s actually really interesting to go to school out here.

安娜（音频）：：在这里上学实际上真的很有趣。

I like it a lot more out here than I did back at home.

我比在家里更喜欢这里。

We had English, spelling, and math in our school too, but we don’t have any science books to read.

我们学校也有英语、拼写和数学课程，但我们没有任何科学书籍可供阅读。

The only free time we had at home is Sundays.

我们在家唯一的空闲时间是周日。

And then we read German.

然后我们读德语。

We don’t read what we call storybooks or something like that at home.

我们在家不读所谓的故事书或类似的东西。

Anna: : Okay.

安娜：：好的。

In my community everybody knows who I am.

在我的社区里，每个人都知道我是谁。

RMV Receptionist: : They’re going to ask you your name, your date of birth, and your address.

RMV 接待员： ：他们会询问您的姓名、出生日期和地址。

Anna (audio): : We don’t have to have anything like ID or social security number.

安娜（音频）：：我们不需要身份证或社会安全号码之类的东西。

Now I need a social security number, driver’s license, health insurance.

现在我需要社会安全号码、驾驶执照、健康保险。

Saloma: : Congratulations!

萨洛玛：：恭喜！

So now you actually exist.

所以现在你确实存在了。

Anna: : I never had something with my picture on it before.

安娜：：我以前从未有过带有我照片的东西。

I actually didn’t feel Amish today, I feel really English today.

其实我今天并没有感受到阿米什人的感觉，我今天感觉真的很英国化。

I was not expecting how it would be.

我没想到会是这样。

It was special for me.

这对我来说很特别。

I feel like I am -- I could be more like whoever I want to be with that identity card.

我觉得我是——有了这张身份证，我可以更像我想成为的任何人。

Amish Man Four (audio): : It is one of the oldest schemes of our spiritual enemy Satan to isolate people.

阿米什人四（音频）：：这是我们精神敌人撒旦孤立人们的最古老的计划之一。

He knows that isolation will cut us off from the wisdom that multiple perspectives bring.

他知道孤立将使我们与多种观点带来的智慧隔绝。

We all need a community around us that helps us to see the blind spots that we won’t see on our own.

我们周围都需要一个社区来帮助我们看到我们自己看不到的盲点。

That is what community is about.

这就是社区的意义所在。

That is the reason for adhering to biblical social norms.

这就是遵守圣经社会规范的原因。

People today, we have little sense anymore that we are to join a church body and, generally speaking, submit.

今天的人们，我们已经不再有意识加入教会团体，并且一般来说，服从。

Doesn’t that word just make us cringe to its authority?

这个词难道不会让我们畏惧它的权威吗？

Submission may even entail suffering.

顺服甚至可能带来痛苦。

We don’t like to suffer.

我们不喜欢受苦。

Our human nature tells us we should maximize our pleasure and minimize our pain, and that’s what leads to happiness but, news flash, it doesn’t.

我们的人性告诉我们，我们应该最大化我们的快乐，最小化我们的痛苦，这就是带来幸福的原因，但新闻报道，事实并非如此。

Saloma: : My mother wrote to me a couple of months after I left, and she said, "Well, today you were put from the church," meaning you are now shunned.

萨洛玛：：我离开几个月后，我母亲写信给我，她说：“好吧，今天你被赶出了教堂”，意思是你现在被避开了。

A year and a half after I left the Amish, I got married.

离开阿米什人一年半后，我结婚了。

Though I sent them invitations, none of my family showed up and none of my community members came.

尽管我向他们发出了邀请，但我的家人都没有出现，我的社区成员也没有来。

I was letting people down, especially my mother.

我让人们失望了，尤其是我的母亲。

At that time, people could not ask me specifically about my family or about my background without me bursting into tears.

那时，人们只要具体问起我的家庭、我的背景，我就会泪流满面。

The first couple times that David and I went home to visit, my family would let us eat right with them.

我和大卫回家探望的前几次，我的家人会让我们和他们一起吃饭。

And then they were discouraged from that by the church.

然后他们就被教会劝阻了。

And so the next time we went to visit, my mother had put a small table about six inches away from the family table, and David and I sat at the small table, and they just kept handing us food.

因此，下次我们去拜访时，我母亲在距离家庭餐桌约六英寸的地方放了一张小桌子，大卫和我坐在小桌子旁，他们只是不断地给我们递食物。

And then they were admonished for that too.

然后他们也因此受到警告。

After that, we never ate with them again.

从那以后，我们就再也没和他们一起吃饭了。

Paul: : They can give you a long list of scriptural reasons.

保罗：他们可以给你一长串符合圣经的理由。

But again, it’s back to order and maintaining stability.

但现在又恢复秩序并保持稳定了。

They want to make you realize the depth of your fall, and return to repentance and redemption.

他们想让你认识到自己堕落的深度，并重新悔改和救赎。

They also want to keep from contaminating their group as much as possible from those influences.

他们还希望尽可能避免这些影响污染他们的团队。

And so for a number of years, I had no contact with my parents.

就这样，我有很多年没有和父母联系了。

They had stepped out of the order.

他们已经脱离了秩序。

The Amish are serious about the separation from such people, and I was determined that I’ll do my part.

阿米什人非常重视与这些人的分离，我决心尽自己的一份力量。

Jan: : My son and his wife had their first child, my granddaughter.

Jan：：我的儿子和他的妻子有了他们的第一个孩子，我的孙女。

And I went to visit her and them at their rented farm.

我去他们租用的农场看望她和他们。

I wore my Amish clothing, and it was awkward.

我穿着阿米什服装，感觉很尴尬。

Brief.

简短的。

It didn’t go very well.

进展不太顺利。

There really wasn’t any fixing it at that point.

那时确实没有任何解决办法。

I was an excommunicated member, and he was a church member.

我是一名被逐出教会的成员，而他是一名教会成员。

It couldn’t be fixed.

它无法修复。

Anna: : On Saturday I got a letter from my mother.

安娜：：星期六我收到了妈妈的一封信。

And when I was done reading it, it was just like, I don’t know...

当我读完它时，我感觉，我不知道......

I really don't know what I am doing.

我真的不知道自己在做什么。

She didn’t really have any news.

她确实没有任何消息。

She was just talking about how the rules are taught in church and things like that.

她只是在谈论教堂里如何教授规则之类的事情。

Yesterday I get a letter from my preachers.

昨天我收到传教士的一封信。

My preachers write that I’m in trouble for a lot of people.

我的传道人写道，我给很多人带来了麻烦。

And I should come back.

我应该回来。

If they didn’t hear from me, they’re going to put me in shun.

如果他们没有收到我的消息，他们就会避开我。

That means out of church.

这意味着离开教堂。

So I am not anymore a member of church.

所以我不再是教会成员了。

Sometimes I see pictures on the television.

有时我在电视上看到图片。

Just like if they are using guns, or if something blow up, or something like that.

就像他们使用枪支，或者有什么东西爆炸，或者类似的事情一样。

There are a lot of things that I never saw that might happen when I am on the outside world.

有很多事情是我在外面的世界时从未见过的。

I never think about dying before I left the Amish.

在离开阿米什人之前，我从未想过要死。

I want to be Amish if I die.

如果我死了，我想成为阿米什人。

If I would die out here, I might go to hell.

如果我死在这里，我可能会下地狱。

Pastor John (audio): : I want you to do something for me this morning.

约翰牧师（音频）：：我希望你今天早上为我做一件事。

I want you to take your Bible and hold it up.

我希望你拿起你的圣经并举起来。

Ain’t that a beautiful sight?

那不是一个美丽的景象吗？

We believe this book.

我们相信这本书。

Amen?

阿门？

Joe: : Something happened when I was out there in the world.

乔：：当我在外面的世界时，发生了一些事情。

This was like the sixth time I had left.

这已经是我第六次离开了。

A friend of mine opened the Bible up and showed me how to get to heaven.

我的一个朋友打开圣经，告诉我如何去天堂。

And it was through Jesus Christ and him alone.

这是通过耶稣基督，而且只有他。

After I got saved, I went back to the Amish.

我得救后，就回到了阿米什人那里。

But I never forgot what happened that day.

但我永远不会忘记那天发生的事情。

Came back, settled down, got married, and decided I’m raising my children within the culture.

回来后，安定下来，结婚了，并决定在这种文化中抚养我的孩子。

But when I wanted to know how to get to heaven, no one could tell me for sure.

但当我想知道如何去天堂时，却没有人能确切地告诉我。

To the Amish, Jesus alone is not enough.

对于阿米什人来说，仅有耶稣是不够的。

Working, trying your best, following the rules and traditions of the forefathers.

工作，尽力而为，遵循祖先的规则和传统。

If you do it all just right, then hopefully you’ll make it in heaven.

如果你做得很好，那么希望你能在天堂成功。

Pastor John: : When you recognize I’m a sinner and my sin condemned Christ to the cross…

约翰牧师：当你认识到我是一个罪人并且我的罪将基督钉在十字架上时......

Joe: : To me, all the good works and traditions and rules and regulations covered up the simple, easy plan of salvation.

乔：对我来说，所有的善行、传统、规章制度都掩盖了简单、容易的救赎计划。

Pastor John (audio): : Why would you say no to Jesus?

约翰牧师（音频）：：你为什么要拒​​绝耶稣？

Just say yes.

只要说是的。

Joe: : My wife and I, we started reading the Bible, and the more we read and the more we compared with all the rigid rules, we all of a sudden decided (you know), are we going to follow man or are we going to follow the scriptures?

乔：：我和我的妻子，我们开始阅读圣经，我们读得越多，我们与所有严格规则的比较就越多，我们突然决定（你知道），我们是要跟随人还是要跟随经文？

The last time I left, seventh time, I knew I would never, ever return that day.

上次我离开时，也就是第七次，我知道那天我永远不会再回来了。

Cried like a baby.

哭得像个婴儿。

Tried to leave three notes.

试图留下三张纸条。

Ripped them all up.

把它们全部撕碎。

I realized no matter how hard I tried to explain, nobody would understand.

我意识到无论我如何努力解释，都没人能理解。

Paul: : Once, when I was a teenager, I had to ask a question to one of the senior ministers.

保罗：：有一次，当我十几岁的时候，我不得不向一位高级部长问一个问题。

He said, "That’s not your place to question.

他说：“这不是你提问的地方。

You’re a member.

你是会员。

You’re not a leader in the church.

你不是教会的领袖。

It is better," he said, "to let us instruct you on these things, and accept them as they are." And I was perfectly fine with that.

最好是，”他说，“让我们指导你这些事情，并接受它们本来的样子。”我对此非常满意。

I was happy to go back to my farm.

我很高兴回到我的农场。

But later I became a deacon, and I was placed in a position of more authority.

但后来我成为了执事，我的地位也更高了。

Then things would bother me.

然后事情就会让我烦恼。

The deacon’s duty is primarily two-fold; one is to look after the financial obligations of the church, orphans and widows, things of that nature.

执事的职责主要有两个：一是照顾教会、孤儿和寡妇的财务义务，以及此类性质的事情。

And the other, by far the more troubling, was dealing with anyone that has transgressed against the church.

另一个，迄今为止更令人不安的是，如何处理任何违背教会的人。

Sometimes the girls would have their caps pleated too small.

有时女孩们会把帽子打得太小。

And that was serious.

那是很严重的。

Sometimes they’d have their cap strings untied.

有时他们会解开帽子绳。

Intolerable.

难以忍受。

The philosophy is, if you don’t deal forcefully with the minor things, then you’ll have major disruptions down the road.

这个哲学是，如果你不强有力地处理小事情，那么你将来就会遇到重大干扰。

I would question some of the tactics, we’ll say, methods used maintaining the order.

我会质疑一些策略，我们会说，维持秩序的方法。

But it has to be unquestioned.

但这是不容置疑的。

I had to be put in my place so that the others would not challenge authority later.

我必须被安排在自己的位置上，这样其他人以后就不会挑战权威。

And that's basically what happened.

这基本上就是发生的事情。

The bishop leveled one charge: I didn’t go to a meeting.

主教提出了一项指控：我没有去参加会议。

No one denied it.

没有人否认这一点。

It was easily proven that I disregarded an order from the bishop to show up at his place at a certain time.

很容易证明我无视主教在某个时间出现在他住处的命令。

I didn’t show.

我没有表现出来。

Case closed.

案件结案。

The bishop said it was unanimous.

主教说这是一致的。

I had a marriage that was coming apart.

我的婚姻即将破裂。

The bridge was burning at both ends.

桥的两端都着火了。

So I said, “Fine,” and left.

于是我说：“好吧”，然后就离开了。

And walked away from it.

并离开了它。

Slate: We should be glad: for this thy brother…was lost, and is found.

石板：我们应该感到高兴：因为你的兄弟……迷失了，又找到了。

Luke 15:32

路加福音 15:32

Amish Man One (audio): : I worked in the city for two years.

阿米什人一（音频）：：我在城里工作了两年。

Got used to city life, you know, the throb and the heartbeat of the city, the sirens blasting.

你知道，我已经习惯了城市生活，城市的悸动和心跳，警笛的鸣响。

And I liked it.

我喜欢它。

But the city could be so full of people, and you could be so lonely.

但这座城市可能如此拥挤，而你可能如此孤独。

Everybody was in a hurry.

每个人都很匆忙。

Everybody had a place to go.

每个人都有地方可去。

There’s a case of an Amish bishop here, it’s the most conservative group, he said, "I ran away when I was 17, came back when I was 19," and he said, "I joined church and was baptized." And he said, “That was a mistake." He said, "I left again." Enlisted in the Air Force for four years.

这里有一个阿米什主教的例子，这是最保守的群体，他说，“我17岁时逃走了，19岁时又回来了，”他说，“我加入了教会并接受了洗礼。”他说：“那是一个错误。”他说：“我又走了。”在空军服役四年。

His parents probably had no contact with him at all, because he would have been excommunicated and shunned.

他的父母可能根本没有与他联系，因为他会被逐出教会并被回避。

He was accepted by a state university and wanted to study mechanical engineering.

他被一所州立大学录取，想学习机械工程。

He came back to tell his parents that he’s going to college.

他回来告诉父母他要上大学了。

They lived in a long lane.

他们住在一条长长的巷子里。

When he turned in the driveway, the memories set in.

当他拐进车道时，回忆就开始了。

That coming home was so strong, so powerful, that he gave up college from the end of the drive to the barn.

回家的感觉是如此强烈，如此强烈，以至于他从通往谷仓的车道尽头就放弃了大学。

He went in and asked his dad, "May I come home?"

他进去问爸爸：“我可以回家吗？”

Naomi: : My parents do not shun me.

内奥米：：我的父母并不回避我。

I’m welcome to come home anytime.

欢迎我随时回家。

A lot of Amish don’t accept their children when they leave.

许多阿米什人在孩子离开时不接受他们。

They don’t want them to come back, and it’s really painful.

他们不想让他们回来，这真的很痛苦。

I can’t even imagine.

我什至无法想象。

I feel like it was painful enough for me.

我觉得这对我来说已经够痛苦了。

And to think about never being able to go home again would be terrible.

一想到再也不能回家就太可怕了。

My parents are having a reunion, so we came to help get ready and to see everyone.

我的父母要团聚，所以我们来帮忙准备并见见大家。

Having younger siblings, it's very important to my parents that I respect that and dress in skirts or a dress when I come home.

我有弟弟妹妹，这对我的父母来说非常重要，我尊重他们，当我回家时穿着裙子或连衣裙。

I think there will be a time in my life, maybe, where I will tell my parents that I won’t wear the Amish clothes anymore.

我想在我的一生中，也许有一天，我会告诉我的父母，我不会再穿阿米什人的衣服了。

And that’s a really hard point to get to.

这确实是一个很难做到的点。

And I want to get to that point, but I just haven’t yet.

我想达到这一点，但我还没有。

When I first went home a lot of people didn’t want to talk about it, that I was going to school and having this career.

当我第一次回家时，很多人不想谈论我要去上学并从事这份职业。

And they didn’t really want to have anything to do with it or mention it.

他们真的不想与它有任何关系或提及它。

And it was such a huge thing for me at the time.

这对当时的我来说是一件大事。

It’s, like, the common ground we’re missing.

这就像我们所缺少的共同点。

You can’t just sit and have the conversations we used to have.

你不能只是坐下来进行我们以前的谈话。

It does feel more like I am on the outside looking in.

确实感觉更像是我在外面往里看。

Being there and being filmed was a reminder that my life is very different now -- all the memories at home, of where I grew up and just having…

在那里并被拍摄提醒我，我的生活现在非常不同了——所有关于家里的记忆，关于我长大的地方，以及……

It’s a profound loss.

这是一个巨大的损失。

And I think I still maybe grieve over the things I’ve lost, the relationships.

我想我可能仍然对我失去的东西、人际关系感到悲伤。

And the idea I was allowing someone to film me made it final.

我允许有人拍摄我的想法最终决定了这个想法。

If I was going back, I would not have allowed anyone to film me.

如果我回去的话，我不会允许任何人拍摄我。

Levi (audio): : My brother called me and wanted to know if I wanted to go back and see the family.

利维（音频）：：我哥哥打电话给我，想知道我是否想回去看看家人。

We drove all night.

我们开了一整夜的车。

Samuel (audio): : Whoa, somebody built a house where the schoolhouse was.

塞缪尔（音频）：哇，有人在校舍所在的地方建了一座房子。

Levi: : It’s just good to drive around and see the old places and see you know the changes that they've made.

利维：：开车四处走走，看看那些老地方，看看你知道他们所做的改变，真是太好了。

It took a whole hour to drive from here to our house in the horse and buggy.

从这里坐马车到我们家花了整整一个小时。

Samuel: : What does it take now, about 10 minutes?

Samuel： ：现在需要什么时间，大约 10 分钟？

Samuel: (audio): It does.

塞缪尔：（音频）：确实如此。

It's almost like everything went and shrunk.

几乎就像所有东西都消失了并且缩小了。

Levi: (audio): The last time I went back and talked to my dad for a while, he told me that if I don’t want to come home just stay, he’d rather me just stay away.

利维：（音频）：上次我回去和我爸爸聊了一会儿，他告诉我，如果我不想回家就留下来，他宁愿我离开。

I left after that.

之后我就离开了。

Samuel (audio): : Let’s go see what they got to say.

塞缪尔（音频）：：让我们看看他们怎么说。

See if we can strike up a conversation.

看看我们能不能聊聊。

Levi (audio): : My mom was out in the garden.

利维（音频）：：我妈妈在花园里。

At first it seemed like she just kind of ignored me.

起初，她似乎只是忽略了我。

But I went up to her and showed her that I care, you know.

但我走到她面前，向她表明我很关心，你知道。

And then we started talking a little bit, and the more we talked the better it went.

然后我们开始聊一点，聊得越多，进展就越好。

She was shocked to see us.

她看到我们很震惊。

Then dad came home, and we talked about a half hour.

后来爸爸回来了，我们聊了半个小时。

He didn’t say a whole lot, but…

他并没有说太多，但是……

They didn’t invite us in the house.

他们没有邀请我们进屋。

We just sat on the front porch and visited for a couple hours.

我们只是坐在前廊上参观了几个小时。

Saloma: : Anna cannot let go of some of her Amish beliefs.

莎洛玛：安娜无法放弃她的一些阿米什信仰。

I think she keeps asking herself, “Did I do the right thing, and why am I here?” And, you know, I guess I understand that.

我想她一直在问自己：“我做对了吗？我为什么在这里？”而且，你知道，我想我明白这一点。

Anna has been packing and re-packing her suitcase for, like, a week and a half.

安娜已经花了大约一个半星期的时间收拾行李并重新收拾行李。

I don’t think she’s realizes how much she’s changed in the seven months she’s been away.

我认为她没有意识到在她离开的七个月里她发生了多大的变化。

It’s going to be hard for her to fit herself back into the community.

她很难融入社区。

Sometimes when we care about somebody we just want to hug them and hold them close.

有时，当我们关心某人时，我们只想拥抱他们并紧紧地抱住他们。

And the situation requires that we open our arms and let that person go.

这种情况要求我们张开双臂，让那个人走。

Amish Woman Two (audio): : I usually try to take a walk every morning.

阿米什女人二（音频）：：我通常每天早上都会尝试散步。

In the early morning I walk about a mile.

清晨，我步行约一英里。

And that’s when I pray for my children.

那就是我为我的孩子们祈祷的时候。

I just pray to Jesus to save my children.

我只是祈求耶稣拯救我的孩子们。

It’s important to us, our heritage and our way.

这对我们、我们的传统和我们的方式都很重要。

I know it takes more for salvation than just our lifestyle.

我知道拯救需要的不仅仅是我们的生活方式。

But why is it hard for me to let go?

但为什么我却很难放手？

And we’re told from the Bible we’re not supposed to keep our hand on the plow and look back, but, you know, sometimes I have regrets.

圣经告诉我们，我们不应该把手放在犁上然后回头看，但是，你知道，有时我会后悔。

I think, maybe I could have done this differently, or done that different.

我想，也许我可以采取不同的做法，或者采取不同的做法。

Maybe I didn’t spend enough time explaining things better when they was growing up.

也许在他们成长的过程中，我没有花足够的时间更好地解释事情。

There has been times I kind of battle with it.

有好几次我都在与之斗争。

I would prefer them to stay Amish.

我更希望他们留下阿米什人。

But there’s a time we have to let go.

但有时候我们必须放手。

Joe: : You are never taught to live in freedom.

乔：：从来没有人教导你要自由地生活。

All of a sudden, you know, you open the door, and there’s no walls, no roof, no ceiling, nothing.

突然之间，你知道，你打开门，发现没有墙壁，没有屋顶，没有天花板，什么都没有。

It's wide open.

它是敞开的。

You need somebody to help you.

你需要有人帮助你。

Otherwise you’re not gonna make it.

否则你就不会成功。

When my wife and I finally got on our feet and were able to build our own house, we specifically built part of our basement into an apartment.

当我和妻子终于站起来并能够建造自己的房子时，我们特意将地下室的一部分建成了公寓。

We’ve had many young people that have come through there.

我们有很多年轻人经历过那里。

We can take two to three at a time.

我们一次可以拿两到三个。

Right now we have two young boys.

现在我们有两个小男孩。

One is from Pennsylvania, and the other one is from Ohio.

一名来自宾夕法尼亚州，另一名来自俄亥俄州。

Usually it takes them about six months to a year to get all the things they need and go out on their own.

通常他们需要大约六个月到一年的时间才能获得所需的所有东西并独自外出。

After they leave, our house is a swinging door.

他们离开后，我们的房子就成了一扇旋转门。

At any given time they might come in here for dinner.

他们随时可能来这里吃晚饭。

And Esther goes in, and she gets them some food.

以斯帖进去，给他们拿了一些食物。

We’ve become, in a sense, their parents.

从某种意义上说，我们已经成为他们的父母。

We talk about life.

我们谈论生活。

We talk about goals.

我们谈论目标。

We talk about the Bible.

我们谈论圣经。

We talk about salvation.

我们谈论救赎。

We consider ourselves missionaries to the Amish.

我们认为自己是阿米什人的传教士。

The best thing that could happen is for our ministry is to help the parents understand it’s okay for their son or their daughter to get a car and live differently than mom and dad did.

对于我们的事工来说，最好的事情就是帮助父母了解他们的儿子或女儿可以拥有一辆车并过上与父母不同的生活。

It might be too hard, and it might be almost unthinkable in this generation.

这可能太难了，对于这一代人来说这几乎是不可想象的。

But maybe not in the next.

但也许不会是下一个。

Naomi: : It’s hard for my parents to say openly that we’re proud of you.

内奥米：我的父母很难公开表示我们为你感到骄傲。

Being proud is not something the Amish believe in.

阿米什人并不相信骄傲。

It's still hard for them to see that the Amish girl they raised has a bachelor's in nursing.

他们仍然很难看到他们养大的阿米什女孩拥有护理学学士学位。

In college, I worked almost 30 to 40 hours a week plus full-time classes.

在大学里，我每周工作近 30 至 40 小时，外加全日制课程。

And it was really, really hard.

这真的非常非常困难。

So it's important to me that there’s some kind of help out there for people like me who have Amish parents who don’t support them going to college financially.

因此，对我来说重要的是，为像我这样的阿米什父母不经济上支持他们上大学的人提供某种帮助。

I still respect the Amish belief, and it's not like I’m going to recruit people to go to college or tell them they need to, but the scholarship fund will be there if they need any kind of help.

我仍然尊重阿米什人的信仰，我不会招募人们上大学或告诉他们他们需要上大学，但如果他们需要任何帮助，奖学金基金就会在那里。

Naomi: : Nice to meet you, thank you for coming.

Naomi：：很高兴认识你，谢谢你的到来。

Stan: : So you’re a nurse, right?

斯坦：：所以你是一名护士，对吧？

Do you have a job nursing now?

你现在有护理工作吗？

Naomi: : Not yet.

内奥米：：还没有。

I’m hoping for one.

我希望有一个。

I just passed my state boards last week.

我上周刚刚通过了州议会。

Stan: : Wonderful.

斯坦：：太棒了。

I grew up just like you did.

我和你一样长大。

There were eight of us, and six are still Amish.

我们有八个人，其中六个仍然是阿米什人。

In the dominant culture and America, I would have been, like, the good kid.

在主流文化和美国，我会是个好孩子。

Putting myself through college and working full-time.

让自己读完大学并全职工作。

But to the Amish, I was a little bit of a rebel.

但对于阿米什人来说，我有点叛逆。

I can just imagine some Amish guys stroking their beard and shaking their head.

我可以想象一些阿米什人抚摸着胡子，摇头。

And that’s hard for me.

这对我来说很难。

I don’t want to offend my culture.

我不想冒犯我的文化。

I don’t really know how I would do it differently if I had it to do over.

我真的不知道如果重来一次我会如何做。

But I wish somehow it wouldn’t have to be like that.

但我希望事情不必是这样的。

Levi: : You know, I didn’t have my family to run back to.

利威尔：：你知道，我没有家人可以跑回去。

Basically I had to step up and do things for myself.

基本上我必须站出来为自己做事。

I work with couple ex-Amish people.

我和几个前阿米什人一起工作。

Construction work.

建筑工作。

We build pole-barns.

我们建造杆式谷仓。

Two years ago I figured I’d buy something.

两年前，我想我应该买点东西。

Make payments on it instead of paying rent.

对其进行付款而不是支付租金。

I figured that’d be a better decision.

我认为那会是一个更好的决定。

It's just a small starter house, nothing fancy.

这只是一个小入门房，没什么特别的。

Just something to get me ahead.

只是让我领先的东西。

And then I bought this house a little over a year ago.

然后我一年多前买了这栋房子。

It's a three-bedroom home.

这是一个三居室的房子。

And I've got a garage, which I really like.

我有一个车库，我真的很喜欢。

Basically I’m on top of everything as far as, you know, I’m not in debt, so I’m doing great.

基本上，我掌控一切，你知道，我没有负债，所以我做得很好。

When we went to see our parents, I told them that they could come and visit if they want to.

当我们去看望父母时，我告诉他们，如果他们愿意的话可以来看望我们。

But I don't really see it happening.

但我并没有真正看到它发生。

They're not proud of the lifestyle I live.

他们对我的生活方式并不感到自豪。

I would like to be able to feel like I’m their kid, you know.

你知道，我希望能够感觉自己是他们的孩子。

Be able to be together and just spend time together.

能够在一起并共度时光。

That’s what I want.

这就是我想要的。

I try to not hang on to my past, to just move forward.

我试着不去执着于过去，而是继续前进。

Tomorrow is a new day basically, so.

明天基本上是新的一天，所以。

Jan: : I was very close to my son Paul before all this mess started up.

Jan：：在这一切混乱发生之前，我和我的儿子 Paul 关系非常密切。

But you can never go backwards, you always have to go forwards.

但你永远不能后退，你必须一直前进。

And so one step at a time I did.

所以我一步一步地做了。

I don’t understand Paul.

我不明白保罗。

He left the Amish.

他离开了阿米什人。

He very strongly left the Amish, and yet, he lives as if he’s Amish.

他非常强烈地离开了阿米什人，然而，他却像阿米什人一样生活。

Does he wish himself back?

他希望自己回来吗？

I don’t believe.

我不相信。

But he lost his community.

但他失去了他的社区。

He lost his sense of who he was.

他失去了自己是谁的感觉。

I did too.

我也这么做了。

Paul: : My mother enjoyed what the Amish way of life offered her.

保罗：：我母亲很享受阿米什人的生活方式。

She found real fellowship for the first time.

她第一次找到了真正的友谊。

Camaraderie, I guess you could say.

友情，我想你可以说。

A lot of modern America has lost touch with the things that make us human.

现代美国的许多人已经失去了与人类的联系。

Being in touch with the land, religion, and family relationships.

与土地、宗教和家庭关系保持联系。

In the Amish at least you’re someone.

在阿米什人中，至少你是一个人。

You’re a name.

你是一个名字。

You may not be a liked name, but you’re definitely a name.

你可能不是一个受欢迎的名字，但你绝对是一个名字。

In the English-speaking world you are best a number.

在英语世界里，你是最好的数字。

You’re no one there.

那里没有你。

I still love the lifestyle.

我仍然喜欢这种生活方式。

But I can’t accept some of the trade-offs.

但我无法接受其中的一些取舍。

So it leaves me in between.

所以这让我处于两者之间。

Lost between cultures at this point.

此时在文化之间迷失了。

Joe: : I’m the closest to my dad out of all the children.

乔：：我是所有孩子中与父亲最亲近的。

I was their first-born, you know, and he just didn’t think he could let go of me.

你知道，我是他们的长子，他只是认为他不能放开我。

You know, it went 25 years…

你知道，25年过去了……

we just had very little connection.

我们之间的联系非常少。

One year ago I got in the car, and I drove all the way to Pennsylvania.

一年前，我坐上车，一路开到了宾夕法尼亚州。

Got there late at night.

晚上很晚才到那里。

Didn’t know if they’d even let me in the house.

不知道他们是否会让我进屋。

You’ve got to remember, this is 25 years later.

你必须记住，这是 25 年后的事了。

Mom and Dad invited me into the house, and for the next 18 hours I was there.

爸爸妈妈邀请我进屋，接下来的 18 个小时我都待在那里。

They locked the doors so that other Amish people couldn’t come in and catch us.

他们锁上了门，这样其他阿米什人就无法进来抓住我们。

And that day, through tears and forgiveness, my dad and I reconciled.

那天，通过泪水和宽恕，我和爸爸和解了。

Since then I’ve realized that he’s still holding me at an arm’s length.

从那时起，我意识到他仍然与我保持一定的距离。

My dad is 60-some years old.

我爸爸今年60多岁了。

And for him to ever get to that point where he can drop all those walls and believe that his son could maybe go to heaven, even in his English clothes…

对于他来说，有一天他可以抛开所有的围墙，相信他的儿子也许可以去天堂，即使穿着他的英国衣服……

he probably will never be able to believe that.

他可能永远无法相信这一点。

Saloma: : On a Tuesday afternoon around two o’clock, my father died.

萨洛玛：：周二下午两点左右，我父亲去世了。

David and I decided to go to the funeral.

大卫和我决定去参加葬礼。

And when we got there, we were all lined up because they wanted us to go in by age.

当我们到达那里时，我们都在排队，因为他们希望我们按年龄进去。

Now that really surprised me, because that meant that we were going to be included in the family, just like anybody else.

这真的让我感到惊讶，因为这意味着我们将像其他人一样被纳入这个家庭。

They put Dad's casket, open, outside of the shed.

他们把爸爸的棺材打开放在棚子外面。

And then people from the back rows filed past the coffin.

然后后排的人们鱼贯走过棺材。

And then the family circled around to say our last goodbyes.

然后一家人围过来告别。

And everything got so still.

一切都变得那么寂静。

It was like the birds stopped singing for a minute, and all of the babies in the group stopped crying.

就好像鸟儿停止了歌唱，一群婴儿都停止了哭泣。

It was the loudest silence I've ever heard.

这是我听过的最响亮的沉默。

And I'll never forget how the 400 people, all standing in black in that circle in the courtyard.

我永远不会忘记院子里的 400 个人全都穿着黑色衣服站在圆圈里。

It felt like they were supporting us in our grief.

感觉就像他们在悲伤中支持我们。

And it didn't matter at that point what we were dressed in.

那时我们穿什么并不重要。

These are a people steeped in tradition.

他们是一个充满传统的民族。

And the people I grew up with.

还有和我一起长大的人。

I feel sad that that's not what I'm going to have.

我感到很难过，这不是我将要拥有的。

We all make choices in our lives.

我们都会在生活中做出选择。

And sometimes one choice precludes another.

有时一种选择会排除另一种选择。

Anna: : Feels different to be in Amish clothes.

安娜：：穿着阿米什服装感觉不一样。

Feels like a heavy dress.

感觉像是一件厚重的衣服。

It don’t feel as good as it does in English clothes.

感觉不像英式衣服那么好。

There are a lot of things that I’m going to miss.

有很多事情我会想念。

Like ovens, refrigerators…

比如烤箱、冰箱……

Going to see the movies.

去看电影。

And music.

还有音乐。

I like music.

我喜欢音乐。

I think my parents will be happy to see me.

我想我的父母见到我一定会很高兴。

I was all my life at home.

我一生都待在家里。

And then all of a sudden I was one morning disappeared.

然后有一天早上我突然消失了。

I think that was hard for them.

我认为这对他们来说很难。

All my nieces and nephews, there are forty of them.

我所有的侄女和侄子，一共有四十个。

I think they would now be afraid of me because I have left.

我想他们现在会害怕我，因为我已经离开了。

That will be hard.

那会很难。

But I'll get to see my family.

但我会去看望我的家人。

Amish Man One (audio): : If a boy or girl leave the home, their place at the table is always set.

阿米什人一（音频）：：如果男孩或女孩离开家，他们在餐桌上的位置总是固定的。

Nobody else sits there.

没有其他人坐在那里。

So three times a day, they know there’s a place waiting for me.

所以一天三次，他们知道有一个地方在等我。

That's a very powerful thing.

这是一个非常强大的东西。

Follow seven former Amish people who have paid deeply for their decision to leave their closed and tightly-knit communities for the outside world.

跟随七位前阿米什人的脚步，他们为离开封闭而紧密的社区走向外部世界而付出了沉重的代价。

Watch the opening scene of The Amish: Shunned .

观看《阿米什人：被回避》的开场场景。

A rare recipe from American Experience!

来自美国经验的罕见食谱！

These cinnamon buns appear in the documentary The Amish: Shunned.

这些肉桂面包出现在纪录片《阿米什人：被回避》中。

Jan became Amish as an adult, with her husband and children, but they were later shunned.

成年后，简与她的丈夫和孩子一起成为了阿米什人，但后来他们遭到了回避。

Levi left his Amish family when he was 17, hoping to experience a different sort of life.

利维 17 岁时离开了阿米什家庭，希望体验不同的生活。

Naomi left the Amish, put herself through college, and became a nurse.

内奥米离开了阿米什人，完成了大学学业，并成为了一名护士。

Paul's parents became Amish when he was a boy.

保罗小时候，他的父母就成为了阿米什人。

He was shunned as an adult.

成年后他遭到了回避。

Joe struggled to leave his Amish family of 15, returning six times before leaving for good.

乔艰难地离开了他 15 口的阿米什家庭，在永远离开之前，他回来过六次。

Filmmaker Callie Wiser shares the story of Katie Troyer, who left the Amish in her forties.

电影制片人卡莉·怀瑟 (Callie Wiser) 分享了凯蒂·特罗耶 (Katie Troyer) 的故事，她在四十多岁时离开了阿米什人。

At 23, Anna was considered an old maid in her Amish community, but she struggles with the decision to leave.

23 岁的安娜在她的阿米什社区被视为老处女，但她在做出离开的决定时犹豫不决。

Saloma Furlong left the Amish at 20, and helps another woman who is making a similar choice.

萨洛玛·弗隆 (Saloma Furlong) 20 岁时离开了阿米什人，并帮助了另一位做出类似选择的女性。

An Amish man discusses the allure of life outside the Amish community — and the pull to come home.

一名阿米什人谈论阿米什社区之外的生活的吸引力以及回家的动力。