New York Magazine's Jessica Pressler: My Top 5 Longreads of 2011
Jessica Pressler is a writer for New York Magazine.
杰西卡·普莱斯勒是《纽约杂志》的撰稿人。
See her recent stories here.
在这里查看她最近的故事。
(Pictured above, inexplicably, with New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly in 2010.)
（上图莫名其妙地是 2010 年与纽约警察局长雷·凯利的合影。）
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Ok, so: There are no New York magazine articles in this Top Five, because I work there, and letting them in would clog up the list and might make for awkwardness at the office Christmas party, which is awkward enough already.
好吧，所以：这前五名中没有纽约杂志的文章，因为我在那里工作，让它们进来会堵塞列表，并可能在办公室圣诞聚会上造成尴尬，这已经够尴尬的了。
None of these are by my friends, although Sarah Miller is a friend of a friend, John Jeremiah Sullivan and I once had an email correspondence that consisted entirely of sending each other links about animal attacks, and I profiled Michael Lewis this year, although I never heard from him after so maybe we’re enemies.
这些都不是我朋友写的，虽然莎拉·米勒是朋友的朋友，约翰·杰里米亚·沙利文和我曾经有过一封电子邮件，其中完全包括互相发送有关动物袭击的链接，今年我介绍了迈克尔·刘易斯，尽管此后我再也没有收到他的消息，所以也许我们是敌人。
Also, I limited myself to just one New Yorker article, because those people get enough attention.
另外，我只限于一篇《纽约客》文章，因为这些人得到了足够的关注。
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Michael Lewis, “When Irish Eyes Are Crying,” Vanity Fair, March 2011
迈克尔·刘易斯，《当爱尔兰人的眼睛在哭泣》，《名利场》，2011 年 3 月
There’s really no one other than Michael Lewis who can turn 13,000 words on the European debt crisis into an enjoyable read (If he doesn’t say so himself, ahem).
除了迈克尔·刘易斯（Michael Lewis）之外，真的没有人能把关于欧洲债务危机的 13,000 字读得令人赏心悦目（如果他自己不这么说，咳咳）。
He has an amazing ability to sort of ground these these ginormous, abstract events (Ireland somehow lost $34 billion Euros???) in reality and to bring characters to life, like with his description of the Irish chief regulator’s “insecure little mustache.”
他有一种惊人的能力，能够将这些巨大的、抽象的事件（爱尔兰不知何故损失了 340 亿欧元？？？）置于现实之中，并将人物栩栩如生，就像他对爱尔兰首席监管者“不安全的小胡子”的描述一样。
Lawrence Wright, “The Apostate,” The New Yorker, March 14, 2011
劳伦斯·赖特 (Lawrence Wright)，《叛教者》，《纽约客》，2011 年 3 月 14 日
Paul Haggis, what a badass.
保罗·哈吉斯，真是个坏蛋。
And Lawrence Wright, of course.
当然还有劳伦斯·赖特。
You have to just sort of bow down to the reporting and the writing in this story, the image of the New Yorker fact checkers facing off against the Scientology bigwigs with their binders is just as awesome for me as the one of a group Scientologists ripping each other apart during a sick game of musical chairs.
你必须屈服于这个故事中的报道和写作，《纽约客》事实核查员拿着活页夹与山达基大佬对峙的形象对我来说就像一群山达基教徒在一场病态的音乐椅游戏中互相撕扯一样令人敬畏。
“Sarah Leal: How Ashton Kutcher Seduced Me,” Us Weekly, October 11, 2011
“莎拉·莱尔：阿什顿·库彻如何诱惑我”，《美国周刊》，2011 年 10 月 11 日
Sarah Leal is the “hot-tub worthy” chick Ashton Kutcher hooked up with in San Diego and ultimately the first domino in the collapse of his marriage to Demi Moore, but that’s not why this Q&A with her is interesting.
莎拉·莱尔 (Sarah Leal) 是阿什顿·库彻 (Ashton Kutcher) 在圣地亚哥勾搭上的“值得泡热水澡”的小妞，也是他与黛米·摩尔 (Demi Moore) 婚姻破裂的第一张多米诺骨牌，但这并不是与她的问答有趣的原因。
The interviewer manages to extract from her the details of the night she spent with Ashton in minute detail (“Then I had to pee..”) and it doesn’t feel airbrushed the way it can when a celebrity magazine has made promises to publicists or the subject.
采访者设法从她身上详细地提取出她与阿什顿度过的那个夜晚的细节（“然后我不得不撒尿……”），并且不像一本名人杂志向公关人员或主题做出承诺时那样让人感觉被粉饰过。
There’s enough moments of weird hilarity (WHY is the bodyguard wearing a priest outfit?) to kind of balance out the tawdriness, and there’s even an unexpectedly touching moment when Ashton described his life as “90% fake.” I feel like I learned more about him and his weird, lonely life than I would from a magazine profile of the man himself.
有足够多的怪异欢闹时刻（为什么保镖穿着牧师服装？）来平衡俗气，甚至还有一个意想不到的感人时刻，阿什顿形容他的生活“90%都是假的”。我觉得我对他和他怪异、孤独的生活的了解比从杂志上对他本人的简介还要多。
“At Least We Don’t Brag,” Sarah Miller, Five Dials Number 19, March 2011 (PDF)
“至少我们不吹牛”，莎拉·米勒 (Sarah Miller)，《五个表盘》第 19 期，2011 年 3 月 (PDF)
As a childless person living in the Smug Parent Capital of the World, I’m still nodding and laughing at this.
作为一个生活在世界自鸣得意的家长之都的没有孩子的人，我仍然对此点头微笑。
“Peyton’s Place,” John Jeremiah Sullivan, GQ, October 17, 2011
“Peyton’s Place”，John Jeremiah Sullivan，《GQ》，2011 年 10 月 17 日
I guess it’s because of his book, but this year it kind of felt like everyone discovered the greatness of John Jeremiah Sullivan, because suddenly he is everywhere, and I think I speak for a lot of magazine writers when I say it kind of feels like your favorite indie band has become super-popular.
我想这是因为他的书，但今年感觉就像每个人都发现了约翰·耶利米·沙利文的伟大，因为突然间他无处不在，当我说感觉就像你最喜欢的独立乐队变得超级受欢迎时，我想我代表了很多杂志作家。
Everyone went nuts over his Disney World story in the Times, but I’m picking the B-Side, which is a classic JJS, a 6,000 word piece that is kind of about nothing and everything all at once.
《泰晤士报》上的迪士尼世界故事让每个人都为之疯狂，但我选择了 B 面，这是一篇经典的 JJS，一篇 6,000 字的文章，内容既空无一物又包含了所有内容。