Longreads Best of 2012: Wired's Mat Honan

Mat Honan is a senior writer for Wired’s Gadget Lab.

马特·霍南 (Mat Honan) 是《连线》小工具实验室的高级作家。

Best story about a monkey that’s really about the role of government that’s really about nature’s place in the modern world that’s actually, maybe, really just about a monkey.

关于一只猴子的最佳故事，它实际上是关于政府的角色，实际上是关于自然在现代世界中的地位，实际上，也许，真的只是关于一只猴子。

“What’s a Monkey to Do in Tampa?” (Jon Mooallem, New York Times Magazine)

“猴子在坦帕可以做什么？” （乔恩·穆阿勒姆，纽约时报杂志）

This is the story I’ve linked and forward more than any other this year.

这是我今年链接和转发次数最多的故事。

I just loved this damn funny, poignant narrative about a renegade macaque monkey on the loose in Tampa, the people trying to catch him, and the others who want to let him remain wild and free, if lonely, among the billboards and greenways of Tampa.

我只是喜欢这个该死的有趣而辛酸的故事，讲述了一只在坦帕逍遥法外的猕猴，人们试图抓住他，以及其他想让他在坦帕的广告牌和绿道中保持狂野和自由（如果孤独的话）的人。

The citizenry of Tampa Bay was adamantly pro-monkey.

坦帕湾的居民坚决拥护猴子。

People had long been abetting the animal, leaving fruit plates on their patios.

长期以来，人们一直在怂恿这种动物，在自家院子里留下果盘。

A few people, one F.W.C.

几个人，一个 F.W.C.

officer told me, called the agency’s monkey hot line to report that they’d seen the macaque several hours or even a couple of days earlier—offering totally useless intelligence, in other words, presumably just to stick their thumbs in the government’s eye.

警官告诉我，他们打电话给该机构的猴子热线，报告说他们在几个小时甚至几天前就看到了这只猕猴——提供的情报完全没用，换句话说，他们可能只是为了蒙政府的眼睛。

The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay, as people called it, had very quickly become a celebrity.

人们称之为坦帕湾神秘猴子，很快就成为名人。

Best Adventure Story That Descends into Madness

最佳陷入疯狂的冒险故事

“The Last Stand of John McAfee” (Joshua Davis, Wired)

“约翰·麦卡菲的最后一战”（约书亚·戴维斯，《连线》）

I continue to be fascinated by the John McAfee train wreck.

我仍然对约翰·麦卡菲火车失事事件着迷。

I’ve known the McAfee antivirus founder casually online for several years, and wrote about him when his compound was raided by the Belize Gang Suppression Unit this past Spring.

我在网上认识这位迈克菲防病毒软件创始人已有好几年了，今年春天，当他的住所遭到伯利兹黑帮镇压部队的突袭时，我写了一篇关于他的文章。

But that was just the carrot top.

但这只是胡萝卜顶。

My colleague Josh Davis spent the five months this year interviewing McAfee to file this amazing report on a millionaire gone South.

我的同事乔什·戴维斯今年花了五个月的时间采访迈克菲，提交了一份关于一位百万富翁南下的惊人报告。

McAfee picks a bullet off the floor and fixes me with a wide-eyed, manic intensity, his light blue eyes sparkling.

迈克菲从地板上捡起一颗子弹，睁大眼睛，狂躁地盯着我，他的浅蓝色眼睛闪闪发光。

“This is a bullet, right?” he says in the congenial Southern accent that has stuck with him since his boyhood in Virginia.

“这是一颗子弹，对吗？”他用一种亲切的南方口音说道，这种口音自从他在弗吉尼亚度过童年以来就一直伴随着他。

“Let’s put the gun down,” I tell him.

“我们把枪放下吧，”我告诉他。

I’d come here to investigate why the government of Belize was accusing him of assembling a private army and entering the drug trade.

我来这里是为了调查伯利兹政府为何指控他组建私人军队并从事毒品贸易。

It seemed implausible that a wildly successful tech entrepreneur would disappear into the Central American jungle and become a narco-trafficker.

一位非常成功的科技企业家会消失在中美洲丛林中并成为一名毒贩，这似乎令人难以置信。

Now I’m not so sure.

现在我不太确定了。

But he explains that the accusations are a fabrication.

但他解释说这些指控纯属捏造。

“Maybe what happened didn’t actually happen,” he says, staring hard at me.

“也许发生的事情实际上并没有发生，”他盯着我说。

“Can I do a demonstration?” He loads the bullet into the gleaming silver revolver and spins the cylinder.

“我可以示范一下吗？”他将子弹装入闪闪发光的银色左轮手枪并旋转圆筒。

“This scares you, right?” he says.

“这让你害怕，对吧？”他说。

Then he puts the gun to his head.

然后他把枪抵在自己的头上。

My heart rate kicks up; it takes me a second to respond.

我的心率加快；我花了一秒钟才反应过来。

“Yeah, I’m scared,” I admit.

“是的，我很害怕，”我承认。

“We don’t have to do this.” “I know we don’t,” he says, the muzzle pressed against his temple.

“我们不必这样做。” “我知道我们不知道，”他说，枪口抵着太阳穴。

And then he pulls the trigger.

然后他扣动了扳机。

Best Portrait of the Artist as an Old Man

最佳老人艺术家肖像画

“We Are Alive: Bruce Springsteen at Sixty-Two” (David Remnick, The New Yorker)

“我们还活着：布鲁斯·斯普林斯汀六十二岁时”（大卫·雷姆尼克，《纽约客》）

I’m not sure what to say about this other than it’s a great read and BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE!!!

我不知道该说些什么，除了这是一本很棒的书呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜！！！

Springsteen came to glory in the age of Letterman, but he is anti-ironical.

斯普林斯汀在莱特曼时代走向辉煌，但他是反讽刺的。

Keith Richards works at seeming not to give a shit.

基思·理查兹努力表现得一副不在乎的样子。

He makes you wonder if it is harder to play the riffs for “Street Fighting Man” or to dangle a cigarette from his lips by a single thread of spit.

他让你想知道，演奏《街头霸王》的即兴演奏更困难，还是用一根口水把香烟从嘴里挂起来更困难。

Springsteen is the opposite.

斯普林斯汀则相反。

He is all about flagrant exertion.

他就是明目张胆地努力。

There always comes a moment in a Springsteen concert, as there always did with James Brown, when he plays out a dumb show of the conflict between exhaustion and the urge to go on.

在斯普林斯汀的音乐会上，总会有这样一个时刻，就像詹姆斯·布朗的表演一样，他上演了一场愚蠢的表演，展示了疲惫与继续前进的冲动之间的冲突。

Brown enacted it by dropping to his knees, awash in sweat, unable to dance another step, yet shooing away his cape bearer, the aide who would enrobe him and hustle him offstage.

布朗跪下来，浑身是汗，无法再跳一步，但却赶走了为他披上斗篷的助手，这位助手将为他穿上衣服并把他赶下舞台。

Springsteen slumps against the mike stand, spent and still, then, regaining consciousness, shakes off the sweat—No!

斯普林斯汀瘫倒在麦克风架上，疲惫不堪，一动不动，然后，恢复知觉，甩掉汗水——不！

It can’t be!—and calls on the band for another verse, another song.

这不可能！——并呼吁乐队创作另一首诗、另一首歌。

He leaves the stage soaked, as if he had swum around the arena in his clothes while being chased by barracudas.

他离开舞台时浑身湿透，就好像他穿着衣服在舞台上游来游去，同时被梭鱼追赶。

“I want an extreme experience,” he says.

“我想要一次极致的体验，”他说。

He wants his audience to leave the arena, as he commands them, “with your hands hurting, your feet hurting, your back hurting, your voice sore, and your sexual organs stimulated!”

他希望观众离开舞台，正如他所命令的那样，“带着你的手受伤、你的脚受伤、你的背部受伤、你的声音酸痛、你的性器官受到刺激！”

Best Story About Math

关于数学的最佳故事

“The Man Who Broke Atlantic City.” (Mark Bowden, The Atlantic)

“摧毁大西洋城的人。” （马克·鲍登，《大西洋月刊》）

Everyone has a fantasy about beating the house at a casino.

每个人都梦想着在赌场赢钱。

(No?

（没有？

Just me?

只有我吗？

Okay, then.) And that’s because it basically never happens.

好吧，那么。） 那是因为它基本上永远不会发生。

Except to this guy.

除了这个家伙。

Don Johnson.

唐·约翰逊。

(No. Not that Don Johnson.) Johnson beat not just one house, but three—The Tropicana, Ceaser’s and Borgata in Atlantic City, taking home $15 million from the blackjack tables in the process.

（不，不是唐·约翰逊。）约翰逊不仅击败了一家赌场，还击败了三家——大西洋城的 Tropicana、Ceaser’s 和 Borgata，并在此过程中从 21 点赌桌上赢取了 1,500 万美元。

Mark Bowden has the story of how he pulled it off.

马克·鲍登 (Mark Bowden) 讲述了他如何成功的故事。

But two years ago, Johnson says, the casinos started getting desperate.

但约翰逊说，两年前，赌场开始变得绝望。

With their table-game revenues tanking and the number of whales diminishing, casino marketers began to compete more aggressively for the big spenders.

随着赌桌游戏收入的下降和鲸鱼数量的减少，赌场营销人员开始更加积极地争夺大客户。

After all, one high But two years ago, Johnson says, the casinos started getting desperate.

毕竟，一高。但约翰逊说，两年前，赌场开始变得绝望。

With their table-game revenues tanking and the number of whales diminishing, casino marketers began to compete more aggressively for the big spenders.

随着赌桌游戏收入的下降和鲸鱼数量的减少，赌场营销人员开始更加积极地争夺大客户。

After all, one high roller who has a bad night can determine whether a casino’s table games finish a month in the red or in the black.

毕竟，一个度过了糟糕夜晚的豪赌客可以决定赌场的赌桌游戏一个月的盈利还是盈利。

Inside the casinos, this heightened the natural tension between the marketers, who are always pushing to sweeten the discounts, and the gaming managers, who want to maximize the house’s statistical edge.

在赌场内部，这加剧了营销人员和游戏经理之间的自然紧张关系，营销人员总是在努力提高折扣，而游戏经理则希望最大化赌场的统计优势。

But month after month of declining revenues strengthened the marketers’ position.

但收入逐月下降巩固了营销人员的地位。

By late 2010, the discounts at some of the strapped Atlantic City casinos began creeping upward, as high as 20 percent.

到 2010 年底，大西洋城一些陷入困境的赌场的折扣开始攀升，高达 20%。

Best Story About Race in Modern America

关于现代美国种族的最佳故事

“Fear of a Black President” (Ta-Nehisi Coates, The Atlantic)

“对黑人总统的恐惧”（Ta-Nehisi Coates，《大西洋月刊》）

I’m aware of the disconnect of a well-off, culturally elite, Left coast-dwelling, white guy picking a “best” story about race relations in modern America.

我意识到一个富裕的、文化精英的、居住在左海岸的白人在挑选一个关于现代美国种族关系的“最佳”故事时的脱节。

So let me say, in a year when Trayvon Martin was needlessly shot dead and when race was an oft-used political poison during the election, this was the story (along with Kiese Laymon’s “How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America”) that made me pause and think about race.

所以我要说的是，在特雷冯·马丁被不必要地枪杀、种族成为选举期间经常使用的政治毒药的一年里，这个故事（以及基斯·雷蒙的《如何在美国慢慢杀死自己和其他人》）让我停下来思考种族问题。

“Fear of a Black President” is a brutal and depressing read and yet also a vital one.

《对黑人总统的恐惧》是一本残酷而令人沮丧的读物，但也是一本至关重要的读物。

It’s also story that I think will stand the test of time.

我认为这也是经得起时间考验的故事。

Ta-Nehisi Coates essay will be one that we look back on, in years to come, to understand where we were as a culture in 2012.

塔-内西斯·科茨 (Ta-Nehisi Coates) 的文章将成为我们在未来几年回顾时的一篇文章，以了解 2012 年我们作为一种文化的处境。

And finally from a purely stylistic point, I found the deft touch with which he lands the closing paragraphs, after such a sprawling essay, both inspiring and intimidating.

最后，从纯粹的文体角度来看，我发现他在写了一篇如此庞大的文章之后，在最后几段中巧妙地运用了技巧，既鼓舞人心又令人生畏。

If only I could write so well.

如果我能写得这么好就好了。

In a democracy, so the saying goes, the people get the government they deserve.

俗话说，在民主国家，人民得到他们应得的政府。

Part of Obama’s genius is a remarkable ability to soothe race consciousness among whites.

奥巴马的部分天才在于安抚白人种族意识的非凡能力。

Any black person who’s worked in the professional world is well acquainted with this trick.

任何在职业界工作过的黑人都熟悉这个技巧。

But never has it been practiced at such a high level, and never have its limits been so obviously exposed.

但它从来没有被实践到如此高的水平，也从来没有如此明显地暴露过它的局限性。

This need to talk in dulcet tones, to never be angry regardless of the offense, bespeaks a strange and compromised integration indeed, revealing a country so infantile that it can countenance white acceptance of blacks only when they meet an Al Roker standard.

这种需要用悦耳的语气说话，不管有什么冒犯都不要生气，这确实预示着一种奇怪的、妥协的融合，揭示了一个如此幼稚的国家，只有当黑人符合阿尔·罗克的标准时，它才能支持白人接受黑人。

Read more guest picks from Longreads Best of 2012

阅读 Longreads 2012 年度最佳嘉宾精选

(Photo: Jon Snyder)

（照片：乔恩·斯奈德）