Seeing in the Dark || Breai Mason-Campbell
I threw away half the house when my mother died.
我母亲去世后我扔掉了一半的房子。
Baby shoes.
婴儿鞋。
Undeveloped film.
未冲洗的胶片。
Awards from third grade.
三年级的奖项。
All of it was important.
所有这一切都很重要。
None of it was important.
这些都不重要。
Not in the face of death.
不是面对死亡。
I had no place to put all that shit, and I couldn’t be bothered.
我没有地方放这些东西，我也懒得去打扰。
One childhood artifact bound for ejection was a set of nesting dolls.
一件即将被弹出的童年文物是一套嵌套娃娃。
The rotund woman, her company of smaller but identically contoured women tucked neatly inside her, lived in the bottom of the china cabinet.
那个圆滚滚的女人，和她身边的一群身材娇小但轮廓相同的女人，整齐地塞进她的身体里，住在瓷器柜的底部。
I only ever saw her when we were preparing a formal dinner and I had to pull out an infrequently used platter or set of dishes sharing the same shelf.
我只在我们准备正式晚餐时见过她，我不得不拿出一个不常用的拼盘或共用同一个架子的一套菜肴。
Each time, I would deconstruct the woman, enraptured by her magic.
每一次，我都会解构这个女人，她被她的魔力迷住了。
Each time, I would return her secrets to their places, and her to the shelf.
每次，我都会把她的秘密放回原来的位置，把她放回架子上。
At no point did this experience feel instructional.
这段经历丝毫没有给人以指导意义。
It was only the hesitation I felt in assigning her to the “trash or donate” pile that revealed her contribution to my education and identity.
只是我在将她分配到“垃圾或捐赠”堆时感到犹豫，才揭示了她对我的教育和身份的贡献。
There was always more, she said, to the story.
她说，这个故事总是有更多的内容。
There are layers that add complexity, and that constrict.
有些层次会增加复杂性，也会带来限制。
There is an outer shell and an inner core; they are the same, but not the same.
有外壳和内核；它们是相同的，但又不相同。
This wordless woman, stored in a corner of a corner of my house and my mind, was a model for the relationship between experience and awareness.
这个无言的女人，储存在我房子的一个角落和我的脑海里，是经验和意识之间关系的典范。
Perhaps this is why she speaks to me so clearly and profoundly at this moment, when grief — a profound experience that shifts our understanding of the world — has cast its somber cloak over all of us.
也许这就是为什么她此刻对我说话如此清晰而深刻，悲伤——一种改变我们对世界理解的深刻经历——给我们所有人披上了阴沉的外衣。
Trapped indoors as they and we have been for a year, it occurs to me that White people have just figured out what it’s like to be in a living nightmare.
我们和他们被困在室内已经一年了，我突然意识到白人刚刚明白了生活在噩梦中是什么感觉。
White America now knows a little bit about pervasive suffering: what it is like for one’s freedom and joy to be muffled by fear and uncertainty, panic over scarce resources, and the omnipresence of danger.
美国白人现在对普遍存在的苦难有了一些了解：一个人的自由和快乐被恐惧和不确定性、对稀缺资源的恐慌以及无处不在的危险所压制，会是什么样子。
For people to intentionally avoid and isolate you.
让人们故意回避和孤立你。
How painful it is to hope that things are finally getting better, just to wake up to more of the same, or worse.
希望事情最终会好起来，但一觉醒来却发现更多的事情是一样的，甚至更糟，这是多么痛苦的事情。
What it feels like to be entombed inside a replica of one’s life; recognizable, but guarded and distant from one’s truest self, where neither the fullness of joy nor the insulating arms of community can reach.
被埋葬在自己生命的复制品中是什么感觉？可以被认出，但又与最真实的自我保持距离，既没有充分的快乐，也没有社区的隔离臂膀。
And they have found themselves woefully unprepared.
可悲的是，他们发现自己毫无准备。
White people had not developed the constitution for forbearance.
白人制定宪法并不是为了宽容。
Protective layers forged in the firestorm of injustice belong to People of Color in this country, and are not necessary where Whiteness stands sentinel.
在不公正的风暴中形成的保护层属于这个国家的有色人种，而在白人作为哨兵的地方，这些保护层是不必要的。
Brazenly detached, unapologetically fragile, and woefully in denial, Whiteness outsourced culpability, and along with it critical lessons in resilience and character.
怀特尼斯公然超然，毫无歉意地脆弱，可悲地否认，将罪责外包出去，并随之而来的是关于韧性和性格的重要教训。
Poverty overflowing into violence in your neighborhood?
您所在社区的贫困泛滥成暴力？
Buy a new house in the country!
在乡下买新房！
Funding model keeping your school overcrowded?
资助模式让您的学校人满为患？
Not to worry, opt for private education.
不用担心，选择私立教育。
These habits of White Power are designed to create a life unencumbered by the concerns of the oppressed.
白人权力的这些习惯旨在创造一种不受压迫者担忧的生活。
A dissociation trifecta — distance, fragility, and denial — ensures that the residual cruelties of White choices are barred from White view.
分离三重奏——距离、脆弱性和否认——确保白人选择中残留的残酷行为被排除在白人视野之外。
The result is a fortress of dispassion through which empathy is hard pressed to permeate, let alone justice.
结果是一座冷漠的堡垒，同理心很难渗透其中，更不用说正义了。
The White nesting doll is all self-actualization.
白色嵌套娃娃完全是自我实现的。
The top of Maslow’s hierarchy, all to itself.
马斯洛层次结构的顶层，一切都属于它自己。
Devoid of the necessary layers of sturdiness and resilience, Nice White Folks were not prepared for a pandemic that required universal suffering under the weight of compounded and inescapable realities.
由于缺乏必要的坚固性和韧性，善良的白人没有为一场大流行做好准备，这场大流行需要在复杂和不可避免的现实的重压下承受普遍的痛苦。
This was a foray into unknown pain where White Supremacy, clad in a MAGA hat, revealed its capacity to make pawns out of its own members.
这是对未知痛苦的一次尝试，戴着“MAGA”帽子的白人至上主义揭示了它利用自己的成员制造棋子的能力。
This was unadulterated Whiteness, feudal and indiscriminate in its destructive impulse and maskless irreverence.
这是纯粹的白人，其破坏性冲动和不加掩饰的不敬是封建的和不分青红皂白的。
Being the teacher, and the nurse, and the custodian, and the cafeteria manager, and the boss or the employee, and the significant other, and the caretaker of older parents, bound to keep smiling and keep working because your life or someone else’s depends on it — it hurt in a way that Whiteness is not supposed to hurt.
作为老师、护士、管理员、自助餐厅经理、老板或员工、重要的其他人、年长父母的看护者，必须保持微笑并继续工作，因为你或其他人的生活取决于它——它的伤害程度是白色不应该伤害的。
It broke the rules.
它违反了规则。
It also created an opportunity for real change.
它还为真正的变革创造了机会。
This pandemic squeezed empathy from a stone by thrusting White people into the uncharted territory of unmerited adversity; plagues, as the Hebrew Bible teaches us, open small windows of opportunity for liberation.
这场流行病将白人推入了不应有的逆境的未知领域，从而榨干了同理心。正如希伯来圣经教导我们的那样，瘟疫打开了解放机会的小窗。
Still, even after the worst pestilence temporarily broke Pharaoh’s resolve, abuse of power would not learn.
尽管如此，即使最严重的瘟疫暂时摧毁了法老的决心，滥用权力也不会吸取教训。
His grief turned to blind rage and a renewed commitment to destruction and domination at any cost.
他的悲伤变成了盲目的愤怒，并重新承诺不惜一切代价进行破坏和统治。
White Power may be down, but it’s not out.
白色力量可能会衰落，但它还没有消失。
For People of Color, thick skins of fortitude and endurance are essential to survival.
对于有色人种来说，坚忍不拔的厚脸皮对于生存至关重要。
Denial is not a luxury afforded to First Nations communities fighting for clean water .
对于争取清洁水源的原住民社区来说，拒绝承认并不是一种奢侈。
Dreamers have no space for fragility.
梦想家没有脆弱的空间。
And where, oh where, can I move that my black skin does not come along with me?
哪里，哦，哪里，我可以移动我的黑皮肤不跟我一起吗？
Society shoved me into armor at birth.
社会在我出生时就把我穿上了盔甲。
My elders tell me that it was seeing children attacked by dogs and sprayed by water hoses and Emmett Till’s open casket that finally broke the back of legal segregation.
我的长辈告诉我，正是看到孩子们被狗袭击、被水管喷洒以及埃米特·蒂尔打开的棺材，才最终打破了法律种族隔离。
Folks were incredulous about the stories they heard and defensive or dismissive of the abject cruelty of racism, until they saw it with their own eyes.
人们对他们听到的故事表示怀疑，对种族主义的残酷行为进行辩护或不屑一顾，直到他们亲眼目睹。
They marched.
他们游行。
We won.
我们赢了。
Now, I can legally vote if I can find my way through the muck of gerrymandering and the maze of restrictions designed to disenfranchise me .
现在，如果我能找到摆脱选区划分的泥沼和旨在剥夺我选举权的迷宫般的限制的方法，我就可以合法投票。
I can send my children to school with updated textbooks, air conditioning, playing fields, and friends of more than one hue if White Flight has not created redlined ghettos out of my community .
如果白色航班没有在我的社区之外创建红线贫民窟，我可以送我的孩子去学校，那里有更新的教科书、空调、运动场和不止一种颜色的朋友。
I can run through your neighborhood if I am wearing workout clothes and not loose khakis .
如果我穿着运动服而不是宽松的卡其裤，我就可以穿过你的邻居。
Last year, it was a knee on George Floyd’s neck.
去年，乔治·弗洛伊德的脖子被膝盖顶住。
For 9 minutes and 29 seconds , as he called out for his dead mother, the world watched yet another lynching where the crimes of the Black victim were said to outweigh the brutality and inhumanity of someone White.
在 9 分 29 秒的时间里，当他呼唤死去的母亲时，全世界都观看了另一场私刑，据说黑人受害者的罪行超过了白人的残暴和不人道。
But by this time, White people had at long last experienced collective grief.
但此时，白人终于经历了集体悲痛。
They had come to know what it is like to be connected to others by a network of pain, so they finally believed us when we said that something was horribly wrong.
他们开始知道通过痛苦的网络与他人联系是什么感觉，所以当我们说有些事情出了严重问题时，他们终于相信了我们。
They now understood what it felt like to be distant from their freest selves, so they listened when we said that our grief is a nesting doll: That inside the outer sphere where Corona had stolen our loved ones, our job security, and our sense of safety, was another layer.
他们现在明白了远离最自由的自我是什么感觉，所以当我们说我们的悲伤是一个筑巢的娃娃时，他们听了：在新冠病毒偷走了我们所爱的人、我们的工作保障和我们的安全感的外层空间里，是另一层。
A more suffocating circle of experience that White people, previously blinded by the light of their own incandescence, could now begin to make out from the shadows, their eyes adjusted by the global shroud of doom.
白人以前被自己的白炽灯所蒙蔽，现在可以开始从阴影中辨认出一个更令人窒息的经历，他们的眼睛被全球厄运的笼罩所调整。
These grief-bound White people, uncharacteristically able to see in the dark, became more discerning.
这些悲痛欲绝的白人，一反常态地能够在黑暗中视物，变得更加敏锐。
More sensitive.
更敏感。
More human.
更人性化。
This wave of aberrant White awareness inspired confessions about the complicity of silence.
这股反常的白人意识浪潮激发了人们对沉默同谋的坦白。
Well-guarded, repressed wells of humanity burst forth in a torrent of notes from White friends, checking to see if I was okay.
戒备森严、压抑的人性之井在白人朋友的大量留言中爆发出来，检查我是否还好。
These friends went to demonstrations.
这些朋友去示威了。
They hung Black Lives Matter signs on their doors, and posted pictures of themselves marching.
他们在门上挂了“黑人生命也是命”的标语，并张贴了自己游行的照片。
They invoked the Freedom Riders, Goodman and Schwerner .
他们援引了自由乘车者古德曼和施维尔纳的名字。
They called for The System to change.
他们呼吁改变体制。
A crucible of isolation and uncertainty awakened 2520 s just enough to acknowledge that state-sponsored violence is a problem.
2520年代，孤立和不确定性的严酷考验足以让人们认识到国家支持的暴力是一个问题。
They offered support in whatever way I might need, and declared they were standing in solidarity with me in my moment of anguish.
他们以我可能需要的任何方式提供支持，并宣称在我痛苦的时刻他们与我站在一起。
One of my best friends lost her husband two years ago to brain cancer.
我最好的朋友之一两年前因脑癌失去了丈夫。
Out of the clear blue one day he woke up unable to talk, and 12 months later he was gone.
有一天，他突然醒来，无法说话，12 个月后他就离开了人世。
He was young, too young.
他还年轻，太年轻了。
We called.
我们打电话。
We visited.
我们参观了。
We sent cards.
我们寄了卡片。
This friend recently called me crying because she is undone by the absence of a father figure in her children’s lives, although it’s not for lack of trying.
这位朋友最近打电话给我哭泣，因为她的孩子们的生活中缺少父亲形象，这让她感到沮丧，尽管这并不是因为缺乏尝试。
She asked this one, and he fell through.
她问了这个问题，他就落空了。
She asked that one, and he dropped the ball.
她问了这个问题，他就放弃了。
The old folks say that it doesn’t matter if you miss a funeral.
老人们说，错过葬礼也没关系。
What the bereaved really need is support three months from now, when everyone has moved on.
失去亲人的人真正需要的是三个月后的支持，那时每个人都已经离开了。
My friend needs someone to pick her kids up every Tuesday afternoon for bonding time.
我的朋友需要有人每周二下午来接她的孩子，以度过一段亲密的时光。
A walk in the park.
在公园散步。
A bike ride.
骑自行车。
She needs a trusted adult her kids can rely on.
她需要一个值得孩子们信赖的成年人。
She got lots of pretty cards, and they were kind sentiments in the moment, but they don’t help her right now.
她有很多漂亮的卡片，当时它们是善意的，但现在对她没有帮助。
Now, she needs us to change our lives .
现在，她需要我们改变我们的生活。
Her life is fundamentally different than it was.
她的生活与以前有了根本的不同。
She needs her support system to recognize that and adjust accordingly.
她需要她的支持系统认识到这一点并进行相应调整。
Ahmaud Arbery was not my cousin.
艾哈迈德·阿伯里不是我的表弟。
George Floyd was not my uncle.
乔治·弗洛伊德不是我叔叔。
But my friends get that their deaths have touched me, and they want to do something, so they speak up.
但我的朋友们知道他们的死触动了我，他们想做点什么，所以他们大声说出来。
That is what friends should do.
这才是朋友应该做的。
But they forget the fact that their deaths speak to the doll they could not see — would not even acknowledge the presence of — until the lights went out and they felt the jaws of an oppressive outer shell close around them.
但他们忘记了这样一个事实：他们的死亡向他们看不到的娃娃说话，甚至不承认它的存在，直到灯光熄灭，他们感到一个压迫性的外壳的下巴逼近了他们。
Trials common to humanity like the loss of a parent or unforeseen illness are in a separate category from the collective grief borne by groups marked for derision.
人类常见的考验，如失去父母或不可预见的疾病，与被标记为嘲笑的群体所承受的集体悲伤属于不同的类别。
Such communion of stings and salves, of joy and pain ( the Blues, Black folks call it) requires a second layer of thick skin — not to bear the customary weathering of life, but the brutality designed by villains to have their way.
这种刺痛与安慰、欢乐与痛苦（黑人称之为蓝调）的交流需要第二层厚脸皮——不是要承受生活中惯常的风化，而是要承受恶棍为所欲为的暴行。
The willful and deliberate destruction of Covid-19 has been like smelling salts for the soul, quickening even the most apathetic Whiteness.
Covid-19 的故意和蓄意破坏就像灵魂的嗅盐，即使是最冷漠的白人也会加速。
From this threadbare place, their hearts and spirits were finally vulnerable enough to feel the pain of police brutality rather than again being passive if uncomfortable voyeurs.
在这个破旧的地方，他们的心灵和精神终于变得足够脆弱，能够感受到警察暴行的痛苦，而不是再次成为被动的、甚至不舒服的偷窥者。
This was a breaking point where a demand would be made for a change to the law.
这是一个转折点，要求修改法律。
But then , the political machine gave Nice White Folks a reassuring pat on the back, and let them know they needn’t continue making such a fuss: Joe Biden.
但随后，政治机器给了好白人一个令人安心的拍拍，让他们知道他们不必继续大惊小怪：乔·拜登。
They were no longer party to the raging, facist, and overtly bigoted morality whose rising to the surface of our national identity, launched them into an existential crisis.
他们不再是狂暴、法西斯主义和明显偏执的道德的一部分，这种道德上升到我们的民族认同的表面，使他们陷入了生存危机。
Science would prevail, Corona would be dealt with — an immobilizing blizzard of fears and worries was melting in the light of a new day.
科学将会获胜，新冠病毒将会得到解决——令人无法动弹的恐惧和担忧的暴风雪将在新的一天的光芒下融化。
Justice was a seasonal item, it turned out.
事实证明，正义是季节性的。
And empathy, its sister-at-arms awakened by the storm and subsequent power outage, was being sent back to the secreted and suppressed corners from whence she emerged.
而同情心，它的姐妹，被风暴和随后的停电唤醒，被送回到她出现的秘密和压抑的角落。
Her only-just-forged outer doll dismantled and packed up in the garage.
她唯一刚刚锻造的外娃娃被拆散并打包在车库里。
Back to business as usual.
恢复正常。
Back to normal.
恢复正常。
Shock and fear made more White Americans willing to negotiate.
震惊和恐惧使更多的美国白人愿意进行谈判。
*Beware, long post* admissions about their role in our oppression, copping to the blood on their hands.
*当心，长篇大论*承认他们在我们的压迫中所扮演的角色，应对他们手上的鲜血。
Maybe Corona felt like karma, and enough good deeds would buy their freedom from risk?
也许新冠感觉就像因果报应，足够多的善行就能让他们摆脱风险？
Hopeless and scared as they have been, suddenly cast out of the impenetrable bubble of safety that their skin prejudicially provides, penance was cathartic; a prayer whispered to God in apology for their heinous crimes.
尽管他们感到绝望和恐惧，突然被从他们的皮肤偏见地提供的坚不可摧的安全泡沫中驱逐出来，但忏悔是一种宣泄。向上帝低声祈祷，为他们的滔天罪行道歉。
Their new, woke armor was a brace against the weight of the unwelcome epiphany that Black people feel like this all of the time.
他们的新的、觉醒的盔甲是对抗黑人一直有这样的不受欢迎的顿悟的重量的支撑。
These mourners wore sackcloth for themselves.
这些哀悼者自己都穿着麻布。
Now the collective grief that transformed denial about my daily experience of racism into a call to fix it is vanishing into thin air, and I have That Knot in my chest.
现在，集体悲痛将我对种族主义日常经历的否认转变为呼吁解决它，这种悲痛正在消失得无影无踪，我的胸口有了那个结。
That White-people-can-only-take-so-much Knot.
白人只能接受这么多的结。
That if-you-keep- pushing-they-will-turn-against-you Knot.
如果你继续推动他们就会反对你的结。
That if-a-fucking-insurgency-in-the-halls-of-the-capital-can’t-change-them-you-damn-sure-can’t Knot.
如果首都大厅里的一场该死的叛乱无法改变他们，你他妈的肯定不能打结。
But I also have That Fire in my belly.
但我的肚子里也有那火。
That I-didn’t-come-this-far-to-turn back Fire.
我来这么远并不是为了扑灭大火。
The White people who sent me cards only see the surface problem.
给我寄卡片的白人只看到了表面问题。
They have awakened to the fact that police will shoot me through the window of my house because my door is open, casually keep their jobs, and move on with their lives while I am dead.
他们已经意识到警察会因为我的门开着而从我家的窗户向我开枪，他们会随意保留他们的工作，并在我死后继续他们的生活。
They have not awakened to their recurring role on Sisyphus: The African-America Story as Martin Luther Karen, our passionate and politicized best friend who goes to marches, but says she’s too tired to keep fighting and gets angry when we tell her that the problem is actually not fixed.
他们还没有意识到自己在《西西弗斯：非裔美国人的故事》中扮演的马丁·路德·凯伦（Martin Luther Karen）的角色，她是我们热情而政治化的好朋友，经常参加游行，但她说她太累了，无法继续战斗，当我们告诉她问题实际上没有得到解决时，她很生气。
Karen is, at the end of the day, White, and this shit does not affect her unless she chooses to empathize, and she does not always choose that path.
归根结底，凯伦是白人，除非她选择同情，否则这种狗屎不会影响她，而且她并不总是选择那条路。
She certainly does not choose to live in my neighborhood.
她当然不会选择住在我家附近。
Or to send her children to the school my children attend.
或者送她的孩子去我孩子就读的学校。
She has a logical explanation: Her children need more of a challenge.
她有一个合乎逻辑的解释：她的孩子需要更多的挑战。
Her children shouldn’t have to deal with the stress of being the only White child in the room, or the setbacks caused by the absence of foreign language classes.
她的孩子不应该承受作为房间里唯一的白人孩子的压力，或者因缺乏外语课程而造成的挫折。
She doesn’t mind Black people, it’s poverty she has a problem with; at least, its behaviors.
她不介意黑人，她的问题是贫穷；至少，它的行为。
How disadvantage turns to violence, or into needs that detract from the attention she wants for her children.
不利条件如何转变为暴力，或转变为分散她对孩子的关注的需求。
Do her choices play into the maintenance of said poverty?
她的选择是否有助于维持上述贫困？
She can’t fix it all.
她无法解决这一切。
She’s only one person.
她只是一个人。
For 402 years, Black people have been kicked back into place each time we have made strides toward a greater measure of access to our own humanity, in our moments of daring to dismantle a layer of the doll.
402 年来，每当我们在更大程度地接近自己的人性方面迈出一大步，在我们敢于拆掉一层娃娃的时刻时，黑人就会被踢回原位。
Slavery?
奴隶制？
Sharecropping.
佃农。
Reconstruction?
重建？
Jim Crow.
吉姆·克劳。
Civil Rights?
公民权利？
A flood of drugs and mass incarceration.
大量毒品和大规模监禁。
Obama?
奥巴马？
Trump.
王牌。
Each backlash a gut punch of indescribable magnitude, doing its intended job of maiming and intimidating.
每一次强烈的反击都是一次难以形容的严重打击，发挥着其预期的伤害和恐吓作用。
Like any abuser, Whiteness becomes most dangerous when we try to leave the relationship .
像任何施虐者一样，当我们试图离开这段关系时，怀特尼斯就会变得最危险。
I have to wear all of these dolls, you see, so that Whiteness does not have to wear any.
你看，我必须戴上所有这些娃娃，这样白妮丝就不必戴任何娃娃了。
Over the years, similarly disenfranchised White people — tenant farmers, miners, factory workers — sometimes put shoulder to stone beside us when the particulars related to them, until the irresistible carrot of Whiteness offered respectability and casserole at dinner in exchange for names.
多年来，同样被剥夺权利的白人——佃农、矿工、工厂工人——有时当涉及到他们的细节时，他们有时会在我们身边用石头来攻击，直到白人不可抗拒的胡萝卜提供尊重和晚餐砂锅以换取名字。
Butchinoff became Baker and Hamburger became Hamlyn and suddenly there were fewer White hands sharing in the struggle of pushing the rock of justice uphill, and more, silent, Anglicized, White lips watching it roll down again.
布奇诺夫变成了贝克，汉堡变成了哈姆林，突然之间，参与将正义之石推上山的斗争的白人手越来越少了，更多的人，沉默的，英国化的，白人的嘴唇看着它再次滚落。
White Power is transferable only to Whiteness.
白力只能转移到白度。
White grief is situational, not systemic.
白色悲伤是情境性的，而不是系统性的。
Today, enough stores have been closed for Black Lives to Matter, our cause providing purpose for the gentle and amusement for the bored.
如今，为了“Black Lives to Matter”运动，足够多的商店已经关门，我们的事业为温和的人提供目的，为无聊的人提供娱乐。
But generational experience teaches us that this window of white attention will close, because Nice White Folks confuse moments with movements.
但几代人的经验告诉我们，白人关注的窗口将会关闭，因为善良的白人混淆了时刻和动作。
If it took an international pandemic, 12 months of isolation, and the fear of their own deaths for Nice White Folks to respond to the grotesque treatment of human beings in acts they would not see done to a dog, where is our hope?
如果好白人花了一场国际大流行、12个月的隔离以及对自己死亡的恐惧，才以他们不会看到对待狗的行为来应对人类的怪诞对待，那么我们的希望在哪里？
Would White people stand by and let a police officer kneel on a dog’s neck for nine minutes?
白人会袖手旁观，让警察跪在狗的脖子上九分钟吗？
( No. )
（没有。）
Grief is an armistice: the dispossessed are too tired to fight, and their enemies respect the white flag.
悲伤是一种停战：被剥夺的人太累了，无法战斗，而他们的敌人尊重白旗。
Today, we are all cocooned in a shell of grief that Nice White Folks recognize, but we were socially distanced before Covid-19.
今天，我们都被包裹在悲伤的外壳中，善良的白人都承认这一点，但在 Covid-19 之前我们一直保持着社交距离。
Ahmaud wasn’t killed by cops, and neither was Trayvon.
艾哈迈德没有被警察杀死，特雷冯也没有被警察杀死。
They were killed by their neighbors.
他们被邻居杀害了。
So thanks for all of the cards.
所以感谢所有的卡片。
Seriously.
严重地。
Reaching out to a friend when there has been a death is the right thing to do.
当有人去世时，向朋友伸出援手是正确的做法。
It is kind to write to ask how I am doing, good to say that you care.
很高兴写信询问我过得怎么样，很高兴表示您关心我。
Your words have been a buffer between my heart and the pain.
你的话是我的心和痛苦之间的缓冲剂。
They have meant something.
他们有一定的意义。
But I do think it’s time to be specific and unequivocal: This is the funeral.
但我确实认为是时候具体而明确地说：这是葬礼。
Thank you for coming.
谢谢您的光临。
How are you going to help the family now?
现在你打算如何帮助这个家庭？
A close friend of mine is a singer who saves this special gift for big holidays.
我的一位好朋友是一位歌手，他把这份特别的礼物留到重大节日。
On one such occasion, I took my children to a church over the county line to witness this clandestine spectacle.
有一次，我带着孩子们去了县界另一边的一座教堂，亲眼目睹了这一秘密奇观。
There were no fans supporting the local mortuary, ushers in white gloves, or large decorative hats, only golf shirts and fine-knit sweater sets.
当地太平间没有球迷支持，也没有戴着白手套或大装饰帽的引座员，只有高尔夫球衫和细针织毛衣套装。
It was White Church.
那是白教堂。
My kiddos and I were the “spots in the milk,” as my mother would say.
正如我母亲所说，我和我的孩子们是“牛奶中的斑点”。
This was not strange to me.
这对我来说并不奇怪。
As the daughter of a woman determined to better her station, I learned to code-switch early on and hadn’t come dressed in my Sunday Best.
作为一个女人的女儿决心改善自己的地位，我很早就学会了代码转换，并且没有穿着我的周日最佳服装。
I had made the mistake of bringing children; there were none to be seen otherwise.
带孩子是我犯的错误；除此以外什么也看不到。
It was a dinner party atmosphere, and I’d missed the asterisk indicating that it was an adults-only affair.
那是一场晚宴气氛，我错过了表明这是一场仅限成人参加的活动的星号。
As I frantically hushed my rabble, embarrassed at the prospect of confirming for the White folk that Black children are, indeed, an unruly lot in need of greater measures of character and discipline, the words, “ Mom, you’re such a bitch!
当我疯狂地让我的乌合之众安静下来时，我对向白人证实黑人孩子确实是一群不守规矩的人，需要更多的品格和纪律措施感到尴尬，这句话是：“妈妈，你真是个混蛋！
” rang out from a pew in front of me.
“我前面的长凳上响起了这样的声音。
A blonde teenager — 14?
一个金发少年——14岁？
15?
15？
— stomped to her feet and stormed out of the sanctuary.
——跺着脚，冲出了圣所。
Not.
不是。
A.
A.
Head.
头。
Turned.
转身。
No bullshit.
没有废话。
The only thing stranger than the outburst was the complete, intentional insistence that it wasn’t happening.
唯一比这爆发更奇怪的是，他完全、故意地坚称这件事没有发生。
Every Lacoste-inlaid collar kept facing front.
每个 Lacoste 镶嵌衣领都保持朝前。
I watched the mother’s face as she swallowed her rage, my neck swiveled in disbelief.
我看着母亲的脸，她咽下了愤怒，我难以置信地旋转着脖子。
She gritted her teeth and kept her seat, imploding.
她咬紧牙关，坚持坐在座位上，心里崩溃了。
She did not quietly follow the girl out to address the situation away from the peeled ears (if averted eyes) of the suburban congregation, much less snatch her by the arm and ask her who the hell she thought she was talking to.
她并没有悄悄地跟着女孩出去，远离郊区会众的耳朵（如果是避开的眼睛）来解决这个问题，更没有抓住她的手臂，问她到底以为自己在和谁说话。
Here I was, embarrassed about my children being children, talking and squirming in their seats, and this girl had just cussed her mother out in church.
我在这里，为我的孩子们还是孩子而感到尴尬，在座位上说话和蠕动，而这个女孩刚刚在教堂里咒骂她的母亲。
Oh, to be White!
哦，成为白人！
Teflon for accountability.
特氟隆负责责任。
This little White girl was allowed to feel all of her feelings.
这个白人小女孩被允许感受她所有的感受。
She could be angry, irreverent, cruel…
她可能会生气、无礼、残忍……
all with no consequences.
一切都没有任何后果。
Whiteness demanded it.
白度要求这样做。
She could not be White — they could not be White — were they to hold her accountable .
如果他们追究她的责任，她就不能是白人——他们也不能是白人。
She must be above the common indignity of shame or duty.
她必须超越羞耻或责任等常见的侮辱。
Her only job was to be free to do whatever the fuck she wanted to do.
她唯一的工作就是自由地做她想做的事。
Then, and only then would she, and they, be really, truly White.
那时，也只有那时，她和他们才真正成为真正的白人。
But I do think it’s time to be specific and unequivocal: This is the funeral.
但我确实认为是时候具体而明确地说：这是葬礼。
Thank you for coming.
谢谢您的光临。
How are you going to help the family now?
现在你打算如何帮助这个家庭？
The thing that occurred to me sitting there, suddenly ashamed that my shushing and chiding was reinforcing the lesson that Black people need to be hyper-aware while White people revel in irresponsibility — reinforcing it for my Black children, and for the whole congregation — is that what Whiteness is all about is being better.
我坐在那儿，突然感到羞愧，因为我的嘘声和责骂强化了这一教训，即黑人需要高度警惕，而白人则沉迷于不负责任——这对我的黑人孩子和整个会众来说都是强化的——白人的本质就是变得更好。
Deep down, in places White folks care not to admit (except where the Proud Boys are concerned), White people believe in their superiority.
在内心深处，在白人不愿承认的地方（除了骄傲男孩的地方），白人相信自己的优越性。
When they make questionable decisions, it’s because the situation is difficult, i.e., “The Opioid Epidemic” or “The Covid-19 Crisis.” When Black people make questionable decisions in a similar set of circumstances, it’s because we are morally deficient, i.e., “Crack Heads” and “Welfare Queens.” Unwillingness to admit to this belief in their superiority keeps us trapped between the rock of violent, insurgent white supremacy, and the hard place of liberal denial.
当他们做出有问题的决定时，是因为情况很困难，即“阿片类药物流行”或“Covid-19 危机”。当黑人在类似的情况下做出有问题的决定时，那是因为我们在道德上有缺陷，即“疯子”和“福利女王”。不愿意承认这种对他们优越性的信念使我们陷入了暴力、叛乱的白人至上主义和自由主义否认的困境之间。
Nice White Folks have not truly let go of the belief that this is a mess of Black people’s own making.
善良的白人还没有真正放弃这样的信念：这是黑人自己造成的混乱。
Not seeing the team of dolls trapping me in my place enables the illusion of meritocracy: White people are doing better, it is easy to believe, because they are just more organized and make better choices.
没有看到那群玩偶将我困在我的位置上，这让我产生了精英统治的错觉：白人做得更好，这很容易相信，因为他们只是更有组织性并做出更好的选择。
It is really sad, Nice White Folks might say, that Black communities are so broken.
善良的白人可能会说，黑人社区如此破碎，这确实令人悲伤。
That there is so much poverty and crime, but they are doing it to themselves.
那里有如此多的贫困和犯罪，但他们都是自作自受。
They shoot each other.
他们互相射击。
They sell the drugs.
他们出售毒品。
With their situational grief-inspired dolls dismantled, we look big and scary again, thickly armored as we remain.
随着他们的情景悲伤娃娃被拆除，我们再次看起来又大又可怕，我们仍然穿着厚厚的盔甲。
They don’t believe that there are real people trapped in the center of the golem, much less that it is a monster of their own creation.
他们不相信有真人被困在傀儡的中心，更不相信这是他们自己创造的怪物。
James Baldwin’s observation that “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced,” is apropos.
詹姆斯·鲍德温（James Baldwin）的观察是：“并非所面临的一切都可以改变，但在面对它之前，没有什么可以改变”，这是恰当的。
The fallout from this pervasive rejection of accountability is the assignment of all essential duties to my lot.
这种普遍拒绝问责制的后果是将所有基本职责分配给我。
I do not have the social capital, skin tone, or moral disposition to sidestep culpability.
我没有社会资本、肤色或道德倾向来逃避罪责。
Instead, blame and hyper-responsibility are my constant companions.
相反，责备和过度责任始终伴随着我。
You shouldn’t have been trying to pass a fake $20 , selling loose cigarettes , or not signaling a lane change while driving.
你不应该试图传递 20 美元的假钞、出售散装香烟，或者在开车时不发出变道信号。
Whatever happens, it’s our fault.
无论发生什么，都是我们的错。
Whatever happens, it’s never White people’s fault.
无论发生什么，都不是白人的错。
EYE wasn’t there during slavery!
奴隶制期间眼睛不在那儿！
It wasn’t ME holding your ancestors hostage!
不是我拿你们的祖先当人质！
We were forecasting — how were we to know that all those subprime loans would bring the market tumbling down along with your life savings?
我们当时在预测——我们怎么知道所有这些次级贷款会导致市场随着你毕生积蓄的下跌而下跌？
Black folks are allowed no feelings, no space for absolute freedom or innocence.
黑人不被允许有任何感情，没有绝对自由或纯真的空间。
If I ever cried for anything aside from a skinned knee or other physical injury, I was rebuked: corrected out of feeling, or instructed in the acceptable parameters of my emotions.
如果我曾经因为膝盖擦伤或其他身体伤害之外的任何事情哭泣，我就会受到斥责：出于感觉而纠正，或者指导我的情绪可接受的参数。
Frustrated protest of some age-appropriately-perceived injustice — finish your vegetables, no to ice cream?
对一些与年龄相适应的不公正现象的沮丧抗议——吃完蔬菜，不吃冰淇淋？
“I’m gon’ to give you something to cry for!” dried my tears.
“我要给你一些让你哭泣的东西！”擦干了我的眼泪。
A friend hurt my feelings?
朋友伤害了我的感情？
A command to stop being so sensitive .
一个停止如此敏感的命令。
“ Hush that noise!
“安静点！
” was the constant edict.
“这是不变的法令。
White girls can cuss their mothers out in church, but when I am upset, hurt, or afraid, I am making noise , an unwanted thing.
白人女孩可以在教堂里咒骂她们的母亲，但当我心烦意乱、受伤或害怕时，我就会发出噪音，这是一件不受欢迎的事情。
Time spent on me, my feelings, my needs, and my humanity is an annoyance, if not an affront, to decorum.
花时间在我、我的感受、我的需要和我的人性上，即使不是冒犯，也是对礼仪的一种烦恼。
During the Congressional debate over whether or not to impeach Trump for the second time, the Right argued that holding him accountable would further divide the country when what we really needed was to “heal.” Classic Jim Crow.
在国会关于是否第二次弹劾特朗普的辩论中，右翼认为让他承担责任会进一步分裂国家，而我们真正需要的是“治愈”。经典的吉姆·克劳。
Classic denial of black grief.
对黑人悲伤的经典否认。
Classic white absolution from responsibility: “ Boy, you got a good thing going on here.
典型的白人免除责任：“孩子，你这里发生了一件好事。
Things work just as they are, now you gotta go around stirring up trouble?
事情就这样了，你却还要到处惹事生非？
We get along just fine with you sitting in the back.
你坐在后面我们相处得很好。
Why you wanna make all this fuss and cause confusion for ?” My call for respect, recognition, or remuneration amounts to an inappropriate and unwelcome disruption to the way that those in power enjoy living.
你为什么要大惊小怪、制造混乱呢？”我对尊重、认可或报酬的呼吁相当于对当权者享受生活的方式的不恰当和不受欢迎的破坏。
Because they are uncomfortable, we are wrong.
因为他们不舒服，所以我们错了。
They want to have more than everyone else; it makes them feel safe and powerful.
他们想要比其他人拥有更多；这让他们感到安全和强大。
They want an unfair advantage.
他们想要不公平的优势。
They deeply believe in rank, and status requires that someone be below you when you look down.
他们深信等级，而地位要求当你低头时有人在你之下。
Blackness by extension, is a lifelong lesson in accepting less.
推而广之，黑人是接受更少的终生教训。
Worse, it’s a lesson in believing that you deserve less and passing that logic onto your children.
更糟糕的是，这是一个教训，让你相信自己不值得，并将这种逻辑传递给你的孩子。
Being female exacerbates and underlines these lessons.
女性身份加剧并强调了这些教训。
One insidious feature of racism is its patriarchal backbone.
种族主义的一个阴险特征是其父权制的骨干。
The nation will take to the streets for Breonna Taylor and Sandra Bland, because they died in the way that Black men often die and it’s White men who are being held responsible, but there is a wall of silence around unchecked abuse by intimate partners.
全国将为布伦娜·泰勒和桑德拉·布兰德走上街头，因为他们的死亡方式与黑人男性经常死亡的方式相同，而白人男性应该承担责任，但对于亲密伴侣不受控制的虐待，却存在着一堵沉默之墙。
The name Delashon Jefferson probably doesn’t ring a bell despite the fact that the Black Women’s Health Project has determined domestic violence to be the number one health issue facing my demographic.
尽管黑人妇女健康项目已确定家庭暴力是我们人口面临的头号健康问题，但德拉森·杰斐逊这个名字可能并不为人所知。
92% of these cases are intra-racial: Black men are more likely to try and kill us than the police.
其中 92% 的案件是种族内部的：黑人比警察更有可能试图杀死我们。
If I dare to speak up about such abuses of power by Black men, I am accused of undermining the project to protect them from the police.
如果我敢于公开谈论黑人滥用权力的行为，我就会被指控破坏保护他们免受警察侵害的项目。
I am contributing to the narrative that they are violent, and thus endangering the view of their innocence needed to dissuade police brutality.
我正在助长这样的说法：他们是暴力的，从而危及了阻止警察暴行所需的他们无罪的观点。
Because Whiteness sees Blackness as a monolith, I have to play along, swallowing my pain, my needs, my grief, and my abuse and hoping for the best.
因为白人将黑人视为一块巨石，所以我必须配合，吞下我的痛苦、我的需求、我的悲伤和我的虐待，并希望得到最好的结果。
My father was an alcoholic, as was my mother’s father who beat my grandmother to a pulp.
我的父亲是个酒鬼，我的外公也是个酒鬼，他把我的祖母打得稀巴烂。
But to keep Black men as allies, I mustn’t hold them accountable.
但为了让黑人成为盟友，我不能让他们承担责任。
It would be divisive.
这会造成分裂。
Open my doll again — I am working class.
再次打开我的娃娃——我是工人阶级。
How nice that the first time you cleaned your own house, it was because a pandemic prevented your housekeeper from visiting.
当你第一次打扫自己的房子时，是因为流行病阻止了你的管家来探望，这真是太好了。
And, again — I am a single mother of three.
再说一遍——我是三个孩子的单亲母亲。
Twelve months of having everything on your shoulders got ya down?
十二个月的所有事情都压在你的肩上让你感到沮丧吗？
Try eighteen years.
尝试十八年。
And again — I come from generational heart disease, diabetes, and hypertension.
再说一次——我来自世代心脏病、糖尿病和高血压。
These are metabolic disorders resulting from overexposure to stress.
这些是由于过度承受压力而导致的代谢紊乱。
Covid-19 has a vaccine.
Covid-19 有疫苗。
Racism, not so much.
种族主义，没有那么多。
How much trauma must be unpacked and how much injustice beaten back to give the tied, gagged, and suffocating woman held hostage at the center of this menagerie of stoic veneers a chance at real life?
必须解开多少创伤，反击多少不公正，才能让这个在这个表面上坚忍不拔的动物园中心被扣为人质的女人有机会面对现实生活？
We all share the grief of Covid-19, the outer doll of fear, uncertainty, and isolation.
我们都对 Covid-19 感到悲痛，它是恐惧、不确定和孤立的外在娃娃。
But beneath that breastplate of horror, there are layers upon layers of sarcophagi limiting the agency and humanity of people like me.
但在这恐怖的胸甲之下，有一层又一层的石棺，限制着像我这样的人的能动性和人性。
As long as order is prioritized over justice , this will continue.
只要秩序优先于正义，这种情况就会继续下去。
A few simple questions: Do you have Black neighbors?
几个简单的问题：你有黑人邻居吗？
Who do your children play with?
你的孩子和谁一起玩？
Who comes to dinner at your house?
谁来你家吃饭？
How do you make your money?
你如何赚钱？
Who benefits?
谁受益？
Who suffers?
谁受苦？
Did you move to a “better” neighborhood for your kids to go to school?
您是否搬到了一个“更好”的社区以便您的孩子上学？
What happened to the neighborhood you left?
你离开的邻居发生了什么？
What do you have to do?
你必须做什么？
How will you maintain commitment to that effort?
您将如何保持对这一努力的承诺？
“Global Pandemic” will soon be off the table as an accountability partner.
“全球流行病”将很快不再作为问责伙伴。
My neighbors have a lot of…
我的邻居有很多...
traffic in and out of their house.
进出他们家的交通。
People drive up, pick something up, then drive off.
人们开车过来，捡起一些东西，然后开车离开。
There are regulars, and new faces, and fighting, and drama.
有常客、新面孔、打斗和戏剧。
On one such occasion of violence, a kind, White neighbor called to ask if I was okay.
在一次这样的暴力事件中，一位善良的白人邻居打电话来问我是否还好。
She and her husband had driven by and seen cars blocking the street, and heard voices raised.
她和她的丈夫开车经过，看到汽车挡住了街道，并听到有人说话。
There had been a shooting not long ago, and she was worried for my safety, but she was also worried for the safety of the young men whose dealings were erupting outside my door.
不久前发生了枪击事件，她担心我的安全，但她也担心那些在我门外爆发交易的年轻人的安全。
She knew the police were dangerous, and that calling them might mean death for any of us.
她知道警察很危险，打电话给他们可能意味着我们任何人的死亡。
She knew I had three small children.
她知道我有三个小孩。
What she did not know was what she should do, so she called me.
她不知道自己应该做什么，所以她给我打电话。
All of my immediate neighbors’ doors stayed shut that day.
那天我所有的近邻都关着门。
No police cars arrived, so I presume that no one called for help.
没有警车到达，所以我推测没有人求救。
Had every neighbor come outside — all 15 or 20, bearing witness to what was happening and declaring with their presence and courage that this was not to be borne — I would have found safety in collective grief.
如果每个邻居都走到外面——全部 15 或 20 个人，见证正在发生的事情，并用他们的存在和勇气宣布这一切是不可接受的——我会在集体悲伤中找到安全。
In the banding together of the community to feel the depth of the problem, and face it together.
在社区团结起来的过程中，感受问题的深度，并共同面对它。
Instead, our friends up the block moved to a new neighborhood under the shadow of night, and another family moved to the county without even saying goodbye.
相反，我们街区的朋友在夜色下搬到了一个新社区，另一个家庭甚至没有说再见就搬到了县城。
Change can not be delegated to pen and paper.
改变不能委托给笔和纸。
Voting rights didn’t fix “it,” nor did desegregation laws, because the letter of the law cannot counteract the apathy of a people.
投票权并没有解决“问题”，废除种族隔离法也没有解决这个问题，因为法律条文无法抵消人民的冷漠情绪。
Adversity, Coronavirus has taught us, works to awaken compassion.
冠状病毒告诉我们，逆境可以唤醒同情心。
But mercy — the commitment to alleviating or eliminating the suffering of others — requires armor.
但怜悯——减轻或消除他人痛苦的承诺——需要盔甲。
White men, White women, Black men, cis women, cis men, hetero folks, people with degrees, people with generational wealth, anyone who doesn’t share their neighborhood with drug dealers: Corona helped you build up some armor.
白人男性、白人女性、黑人男性、顺性别女性、顺性别男性、异性恋人士、有学位的人、拥有世代财富的人、任何不与毒贩共享邻居的人：新冠病毒帮助你打造了一些盔甲。
Use it.
使用它。
Now is the time to show mercy with brave and decisive acts.
现在是通过勇敢和果断的行动展现仁慈的时候了。
Stop confusing irresponsibility with freedom.
不要再把不负责任与自由混为一谈了。
Accept accountability for the fact that where you live, what you buy, how you handle the noise on your block, and where your kids go to school all help or hurt somebody’s chances at life itself.
接受以下事实的责任：你住在哪里、你买什么、你如何处理街区的噪音以及你的孩子在哪里上学，这些都会帮助或损害某人的生活机会。
Make.
制作。
Different.
不同的。
Choices.
选择。
Change can not be delegated to pen and paper.
改变不能委托给笔和纸。
Voting rights didn’t fix “it,” nor did desegregation laws, because the letter of the law cannot counteract the apathy of a people.
投票权并没有解决“问题”，废除种族隔离法也没有解决这个问题，因为法律条文无法抵消人民的冷漠情绪。
My oldest son will be thirteen this summer.
我的大儿子今年夏天就十三岁了。
Because of social distancing guidelines, I can’t sit in the barbershop to wait for him to get his shape up, so he was to call me to pick him up once he is finished.
由于社交距离规定，我不能坐在理发店里等他理发，所以他理完后打电话给我去接他。
This last time he called, he said that he would walk the five blocks home instead.
他最后一次打电话时说，他会步行五个街区回家。
A few minutes later, I looked up to see him running towards me.
几分钟后，我抬起头，看到他朝我跑来。
This was the first time he had walked back alone, so my first thought was that the thrill of independence had worn off quickly and he’d decided to narrow the distance between himself and home by picking up the pace.
这是他第一次独自走回去，所以我的第一个想法是，独立的兴奋感很快就消失了，他决定加快脚步，缩短自己和家之间的距离。
He was so tall and lean and suddenly so grown up.
他又高又瘦，突然间就长大了。
A look of distress widened his gaze and I stood up, a lump forming in my throat.
他的眼神里流露出痛苦的表情，我站了起来，喉咙里哽咽着。
My son was running.
我儿子正在跑步。
Without his thick, unwieldy coif, he looked older.
没有了那头又厚又笨重的头巾，他看起来更老了。
He looked like a corner boy.
他看起来就像一个街角男孩。
Handsome, well-groomed, sturdy.
英俊、整洁、健壮。
Black.
黑色的。
Someone we judge on sight and deem deserving of punishment.
我们凭一见就判断并认为应该受到惩罚的人。
What will it take for him to be safe?
他需要做什么才能安全？
His brother?
他的兄弟？
His sister?
他的妹妹？
Do White women ever feel like this — not because their sons are a soldiers or front-line workers, but just because they’re running down the street?
白人妇女是否有过这样的感觉——不是因为她们的儿子是士兵或前线工人，而只是因为他们在街上奔跑？
If you shoot him, I will die of grief.
如果你开枪打死他，我会伤心死的。
Even if I am still walking around, it will be in the haze of pain and defeat that so many Black people are judged ignorant, dangerous, or angry for displaying.
即使我仍在四处走动，也会在痛苦和失败的阴霾中，许多黑人因表现而被认为是无知、危险或愤怒。
If you do not get to know him, all of you will be more likely to be that assailant, or to wrongly absolve whomever might fill that role.
如果你们不了解他，你们所有人都更有可能成为那个攻击者，或者错误地赦免可能担任该角色的人。
You cannot know him if you will not live next door to us, or send your children to school with him.
如果您不住在我们隔壁，或者不送孩子和他一起上学，您就不可能认识他。
You will not live next door to us or have your children go to school with him if it does not feel safe.
如果感觉不安全，您不会住在我们隔壁，也不会让您的孩子和他一起上学。
It will not feel safe until we all know each other, share in each other’s pain, and stand up together, for as long as it takes for all of us to be unbound and ungagged.
除非我们都互相了解，分担彼此的痛苦，并共同站起来，只要我们所有人都能摆脱束缚，就不会感到安全。
Do not retreat to the blindness that you enjoyed before the long night.
不要退回到长夜之前所享受的盲目状态。
Don’t move, fight for fair school funding!
别动，争取公平的学校经费！
Don’t call the cops, come outside!
别报警，出去吧！
Don’t pretend that this isn’t happening because your color allows you to opt out of grief at the cost of multiplying mine.
不要假装这一切没有发生，因为你的颜色允许你选择摆脱悲伤，但代价是增加我的悲伤。
Written by Breai Michele Mason-Campbell .
由布雷艾·米歇尔·梅森·坎贝尔撰写。
Breai Michele is a Baltimore native, community activist, teacher, dancer, and kinetic storyteller.
Breai Michele 是巴尔的摩本地人、社区活动家、教师、舞蹈家和动感故事讲述者。
A Harvard graduate, Breai Michele is the founder of Moving History , an arts-integrated dance curriculum that teaches students and communities about the contributions of African Americans to American history through movement.
哈佛大学毕业生布雷伊·米歇尔 (Breai Michele) 是“移动历史”(Moving History) 的创始人，这是一门艺术综合舞蹈课程，旨在向学生和社区传授非裔美国人通过运动对美国历史做出的贡献。
Her work has been supported by grants from Teaching Tolerance, the Frankie Manning Foundation, and the Baltimore Children and Youth Fund, which supported Moving History’s efforts to bring racial equity to education with a $179,000 grant in 2018, and another in 2019.
她的工作得到了“教学宽容”组织、弗兰基·曼宁基金会和巴尔的摩儿童和青年基金会的资助，该基金会分别于 2018 年和 2019 年分别提供了 179,000 美元和另一笔资助，支持 Moving History 将种族平等带入教育的努力。
She’s the proud mother of three.
她是三个孩子的骄傲母亲。
Learn more and support her work.
了解更多并支持她的工作。
She would like to thank Cricket Barrazotto at Sowebo Community Church for the wonderful sermon that provided the definition of “mercy” used above.
她要感谢索韦博社区教堂的 Cricket Barrazotto 精彩的讲道，为上面使用的“怜悯”的定义提供了定义。
Illustrated by NoelleRx .
由NoelleRx 绘制。
NoelleRx is the artistic signature of Candice Tavares, one of a new breed of illustrators who are creating digitally, reaching clients and building an audience using social media.
NoelleRx 是 Candice Tavares 的艺术签名，她是新一代插画家之一，致力于数字化创作、利用社交媒体接触客户并建立受众。
Sharing powerful messages about racial equality, family, and human love through her art, her illustrations are clear and direct, realistic and intimate.
她的插图清晰、直接、现实、亲密，通过她的艺术分享了关于种族平等、家庭和人类之爱的有力信息。