After the Hit-and-Run
I didn’t particularly want to go for a run on the evening of Saturday, August 28th, 2021.
2021 年 8 月 28 日星期六晚上，我并不是特别想去跑步。
But I’d spent the day lying around, recovering from an exhausting weeklong work retreat and a late night hanging out with colleagues, and I hoped a run might bring me back to life.
但我整天都躺在那里，从为期一周的疲惫工作休息和与同事闲逛的深夜中恢复过来，我希望跑步能让我恢复活力。
I remember that I wore a new pair of running shorts, a special flower-printed Nike edition, because I felt a slight pang when an ER resident later had to cut them away from my body.
我记得我穿了一条新的跑步短裤，是耐克特别版的印花短裤，因为当急诊室住院医生后来不得不把它们从我身上剪下来时，我感到有点疼痛。
Throughout the previous week it had been too hot to think, up in the low 90s, but the temperature had mercifully plunged back to the 70s.
上周天气热得令人难以想象，温度高达 90 多度，但幸运的是，气温已经回落到 70 多度。
I allowed myself to take the shorter version of my route to Fort Greene Park, forgoing the idyllic path through Clinton Hill in favor of the arterial Fulton Street.
我允许自己走较短的路线前往格林堡公园，放弃了穿过克林顿山的田园诗般的道路，转而选择了主干道富尔顿街。
Fulton Street is not pretty, but I like how it crams the maximum amount of life into the minimum number of square feet, with its bodegas, beauty supply shops, yuppie bars, liquor stores, and a mosque where men pray on mats out front.
富尔顿街并不漂亮，但我喜欢它在最小的平方英尺内塞满最多的生活，这里有酒窖、美容用品店、雅皮士酒吧、酒类商店，还有一座清真寺，人们在前面的垫子上祈祷。
I made it to the park and headed back the way I’d come on Fulton.
我到达公园，然后沿着来富尔顿的路返回。
Soon enough, I was a few blocks from home.
很快，我就到了离家几个街区的地方。
The light changed; I ran off the curb and onto the crosswalk.
光线变了；我跑下路边，跑到人行横道上。
As I remember it, I heard the shouts before I felt the impact: Someone yelled “hey!” and a bright blue van hit my right side.
我记得，在感受到冲击力之前，我听到了喊叫声：有人大喊“嘿！”一辆亮蓝色的货车撞到了我的右侧。
Then I was trying to get up, and many people were yelling and approaching me.
然后我正想站起来，许多人大喊大叫并向我靠近。
“Come back!
“回来吧！
You hit someone!” a man screamed at the van, but the van was not listening, the van was no longer there.
你打人了！”一个男人对着货车尖叫，但货车不听，货车已经不在那儿了。
I kept saying “oh my god.” I made it to my knees and then decided to lie back down.
我一直在说“天哪”。我跪了下来，然后决定躺回去。
Someone was bringing me my phone and headphones.
有人给我带来了手机和耳机。
Strangers had formed a half circle around me, blocking off the street.
陌生人围着我围成半圈，挡住了街道。
A woman introduced herself as a trained EMT.
一名女士介绍自己是一名训练有素的急救人员。
“Did anyone see what happened?
“有人看到发生了什么事吗？
Was the light red?
灯是红色的吗？
Was it my fault?” I asked.
是我的错吗？”我问。
“You’re a pedestrian, it’s never your fault,” said the woman, who wanted me to keep my neck very still.
“你是一个行人，这不是你的错，”那个女人说道，她希望我保持脖子不动。
I wasn’t sure I believed her.
我不确定我是否相信她。
I knew my name, I could move my fingers, I could move my toes.
我知道我的名字，我可以移动我的手指，我可以移动我的脚趾。
The pain was all down my right side, but also it was everything, and when I breathed, the bottom of my breath seemed to land on the edge of a knife.
疼痛集中在我的右侧，但也是一切，当我呼吸时，我的呼吸底部似乎落在刀刃上。
As the ambulance arrived, I was thinking about whether I could still somehow make this thing, which was not supposed to have happened, un-happen.
当救护车到达时，我在想我是否还能以某种方式让这件不应该发生的事情不再发生。
I had been so close to deciding not to go for a run in the first place; the alternate reality where I was still resting safely on my couch seemed to hover within reach.
我一开始就差点决定不去跑步了。我仍然安全地躺在沙发上的另一个现实似乎触手可及。
When the EMTs deposited me into the back of the ambulance, I noticed I was only wearing one of my shoes, the other one washed away forever in the tides of Fulton Street.
当急救人员把我放进救护车后座时，我注意到我只穿着一只鞋子，另一只则被富尔顿街的潮水永远冲走了。
When the van hit my right side, it broke seven ribs and my clavicle and collapsed my lung.
当货车撞到我的右侧时，它折断了我的七根肋骨和锁骨，并使我的肺部塌陷。
Had I been hit slightly higher, I could’ve had brain damage; slightly lower, and the crash could’ve permanently impacted my ability to walk.
如果我被击中的高度稍高一些，我的脑部可能会受到损伤；稍低一些，这次事故可能会永久影响我的行走能力。
Instead, with time, the lung sprang back to form, and the bones found each other again, without much fanfare or prodding.
相反，随着时间的推移，肺部恢复了形状，骨头再次找到了彼此，没有太多的宣传或刺激。
The entire affair resulted in the greatest show of community care I’ve ever experienced.
整个事件带来了我所经历过的最伟大的社区关怀。
Complete strangers comforted me and took pictures of the license plate as the van sped away; my mom dropped everything and flew in to stay by my side for two weeks; my best friend packed my things and brought them to the hospital.
当货车疾驰而去时，完全陌生的人安慰了我，并拍下了车牌的照片；我妈妈放下一切，飞来陪伴我两周。我最好的朋友收拾好我的东西并把它们带到了医院。
For weeks, as my right arm hung limp in its sling and I maneuvered in and out of bed sideways to avoid aggravating the pain in my ribs, friends showed up at my door with home-cooked meals and groceries.
几个星期以来，我的右臂无力地挂在吊带上，我侧身进出床以避免加重肋骨的疼痛，朋友们带着家常饭菜和杂货出现在我家门口。
Experiencing such kindness from people who acted out of an instinctual desire to help rather than any obligation was life-affirming, invigorating.
那些出于本能的帮助欲望而不是出于任何义务而行事的人们的善意，让我们感受到了生命的肯定和活力。
Yet this was all set in motion by a radically antisocial act: Someone sped through a red light, plowed into me, and then drove away.
然而，这一切都是由一种激进的反社会行为引发的：有人超速闯红灯，撞到我身上，然后开走了。
It was due only to luck, and not to care, that he didn’t kill me.
他没有杀我只是因为运气好，而不是因为在乎。
Our fates were bound by the simple fact of occupying the same street at the same time, but from the moment he fled north from the intersection, we were to communicate solely through a bureaucratic game of telephone: The van was owned by a small business whose owner worked with the insurance company representatives, who worked with my lawyer, who worked with me.
我们的命运被同时占据同一条街道这一简单事实所束缚，但从他从十字路口向北逃亡的那一刻起，我们只能通过电话的官僚游戏进行交流：这辆货车属于一家小企业，其所有者与保险公司代表一起工作，保险公司代表与我的律师一起工作，而我的律师也与我一起工作。
The driver who had caused the harm was shrouded, unknowable—so absent from what happened next that I sometimes came close to forgetting about him entirely.
造成伤害的司机被笼罩起来，不为人所知——他对接下来发生的事情完全不了解，有时我几乎完全忘记了他。
The bones broke; the bones regrew.
骨头折断了；骨头重新长出来。
In 2021, I was one of 7,203 pedestrians injured by a car in New York City; an additional 127 pedestrians died that year, while 4,619 cyclists were injured and 19 killed.
2021 年，我是纽约市 7,203 名被汽车撞伤的行人之一；那一年，另有 127 名行人死亡，4,619 名骑自行车的人受伤，19 人死亡。
(The numbers were similar—and, in some cases, worse—in 2022.) Seven years earlier, New York City had adopted the Vision Zero framework, agreeing to enact reforms based on a model from Sweden that aims to eliminate deaths from traffic crashes.
（2022 年的数字相似，在某些情况下甚至更糟。）七年前，纽约市采用了“零愿景”框架，同意根据瑞典的模式实施改革，旨在消除交通事故造成的死亡。
Experts argue that system-wide transformations are the best way to vastly reduce traffic casualties: We could design roads to make it harder for drivers to speed and easier for them to see pedestrians; we could also regulate the manufacture of big cars like SUVs (which decrease visibility) or force the automobile industry to design cars that can’t go over a certain speed limit.
专家认为，全系统的转型是大幅减少交通伤亡的最佳途径：我们可以设计道路，让司机更难超速，更容易看到行人；我们还可以规范SUV（会降低能见度）等大型汽车的制造，或者迫使汽车行业设计不能超过一定速度限制的汽车。
But the political will to bring about such changes is often lacking.
但往往缺乏实现此类变革的政治意愿。
At first, New York City proved itself a leader in pursuing Vision Zero objectives, and its traffic planning changes—reducing speed limits, giving pedestrians a head start at traffic signals, installing protected bike lanes and raised crosswalks—caused fatalities and injuries to decline .
起初，纽约市证明了自己是追求零愿景目标的领导者，其交通规划的变化——降低速度限制、让行人在交通信号灯处领先、安装受保护的自行车道和升高的人行横道——导致伤亡人数下降。
But by 2019, numbers had begun to creep back up, and activists accused the mayor of caving to political pressure from drivers, stalling reforms.
但到了 2019 年，数字开始回升，活动人士指责市长屈服于司机的政治压力，拖延了改革。
The arrival of Covid-19 further sidelined the city’s goals, delaying street improvement projects, while a larger breakdown in social norms caused a surge in reckless driving.
Covid-19 的到来进一步削弱了该市的目标，推迟了街道改善项目，而社会规范的更大崩溃导致鲁莽驾驶激增。
These trends have plagued communities nationwide: In 2022, more than 7,500 pedestrians were killed in the country, a four-decade high.
这些趋势困扰着全国各地的社区：2022 年，该国有超过 7,500 名行人被杀，创四年来新高。
In general, the United States has long lagged behind other wealthy nations in ensuring safety on the streets.
总的来说，美国在确保街道安全方面长期以来落后于其他富裕国家。
Along with lobbying for safer road design, pedestrian and cyclist advocates have often responded to the lethal status quo by pushing to increase criminal penalties for traffic offenses.
除了游说更安全的道路设计外，行人和骑自行车者的倡导者经常通过推动提高对交通违法行为的刑事处罚来应对致命的现状。
They point out that hitting a pedestrian or cyclist is usually only a low-level misdemeanor if it is considered a crime at all, and the police often let even the gravest incidents go uninvestigated —meaning that victims of traffic violence, in addition to feeling that they have been deprived of justice , generally lack access to the courts’ victim services programs, which can cover funerals, therapy, and lost wages.
他们指出，如果撞到行人或骑自行车的人被视为犯罪，那么通常只是一种低级轻罪，而警方往往对最严重的事件不予调查，这意味着交通暴力的受害者除了感觉自己被剥夺了正义之外，通常无法获得法院的受害者服务计划，这些计划可以涵盖葬礼、治疗和工资损失。
Officers “will tell you that they didn’t become a cop to do traffic law enforcement.
警察“会告诉你，他们成为警察并不是为了执行交通执法。
They’re out there to ‘catch bad guys,’” Steve Vaccaro, a local cyclist and pedestrian advocacy lawyer who represented me after my crash, told me.
他们是来‘抓坏人’的，”史蒂夫·瓦卡罗（Steve Vaccaro）告诉我。
Among safe streets advocates, it’s a popular adage that “the easiest way to murder someone and get away with it is to do it with a car.” In 2014, the New York City safe streets advocacy group Transportation Alternatives supported a push to make hitting a pedestrian or cyclist who has the right of way—then not a crime in its own right—into a misdemeanor, arguing that the threat of even minor criminal consequences would make drivers more conscientious on the roads; the law passed, though police rarely enforce it .
在安全街道倡导者中，有一句流行的格言：“谋杀某人并逃脱惩罚的最简单方法就是用汽车来杀人。” 2014年，纽约市安全街道倡导组织Transportation Alternatives支持将撞倒有通行权的行人或骑自行车的人（当时本身不构成犯罪）定为轻罪，认为即使是轻微的刑事后果的威胁也会让司机在道路上更加认真；法律通过了，但警察很少执行。
Analogous organizations have supported similar legislation in communities around the country.
类似的组织也支持全国各地社区的类似立法。
In recent years, however, advocacy groups have begun to reconsider their call for carceral and police-centric approaches.
然而，近年来，倡导团体已开始重新考虑他们对以监狱和警察为中心的方法的呼吁。
Influenced by the Black Lives Matter movement, which has drawn attention to the way traffic stops act as sites of police violence , and by the uprisings of 2020, which pushed arguments for police and prison abolition into the mainstream , safe streets activists have increasingly acknowledged policing’s heavy toll on Black and brown drivers.
受“黑人生命也是命”运动（该运动引起了人们对交通站点作为警察暴力场所的关注）的影响，以及 2020 年起义的影响，该运动将废除警察和监狱的争论推向主流，安全街道活动人士越来越多地承认治安对黑人和棕色人种司机造成的严重伤害。
Many now note that communities of color are disproportionately burdened even by relatively modest proposals, like increasing fines for traffic violations—and that traffic stops are among the situations in which Americans are most likely to encounter the police, meaning that scaling back police involvement in daily life will require lessening their role in traffic safety.
许多人现在指出，即使是相对温和的建议，例如增加对交通违规的罚款，有色人种社区也承受着不成比例的负担，而且交通堵塞是美国人最有可能遇到警察的情况之一，这意味着减少警察在日常生活中的参与将需要削弱他们在交通安全中的作用。
The past decade’s critiques of the carceral system have also drawn new attention to sociological studies showing that harsher punishments—such as longer sentences— do not deter people from committing crimes.
过去十年对监禁制度的批评也引起了社会学研究的新关注，这些研究表明更严厉的惩罚（例如更长的刑期）并不能阻止人们犯罪。
Lately, instead of emphasizing the importance of criminal consequences, advocates have begun calling for drivers who hit pedestrians or cyclists to be held accountable through “restorative justice,” a term for an increasingly popular set of practices that eschews a focus on punishment in favor of an emphasis on repair and an effort to meet victims’ needs.
最近，倡导者不再强调刑事后果的重要性，而是开始呼吁通过“恢复性司法”追究撞倒行人或骑自行车者的司机的责任，“恢复性司法”是指一种越来越流行的做法，这种做法避开了惩罚，而是强调修复和努力满足受害者的需求。
In 2020, for example, Chicago’s Active Transportation Alliance wrote in an issue brief that its members “believe in restorative justice and that the goal of enforcement should be to address and prevent harm, not unduly punish people.” This past February, after Memphis police fatally injured a Black man named Tyre Nichols during a traffic stop, Transportation Alternatives—the group that had advocated for the 2014 law in New York City—published a statement titled “The Urgent Need to Remove Police from Traffic Enforcement.” The group noted that it had recently helped launch a new program called Circles for Safe Streets, which was trying to use restorative justice to address the harms of traffic violence.
例如，2020 年，芝加哥主动交通联盟在一份问题简报中写道，其成员“相信恢复性司法，执法的目标应该是解决和防止伤害，而不是过度惩罚人们。”今年 2 月，孟菲斯警方在一次交通拦截中打死了一名名叫泰尔·尼科尔斯 (Tire Nichols) 的黑人男子后，交通替代组织（该组织曾在纽约市倡导 2014 年这项法律）发表了一份题为“迫切需要将警察从交通执法中撤出”的声明。该组织指出，它最近帮助启动了一项名为“Circles for Safe Streets”的新计划，该计划试图利用恢复性司法来解决交通暴力的危害。
I became interested in these tensions within the traffic safety movement in the months after I was hit.
在我被撞后的几个月里，我开始对交通安全运动中的这些紧张局势感兴趣。
I had realized that I didn’t know what I thought should happen to the driver, whom I will refer to as R.
我意识到我不知道我认为司机会发生什么，我将他称为 R。
It’s anathema in street safety circles to call a crash an “accident,” since advocates and victims believe the term elides both the structural conditions that make crashes more likely and the responsibility of the drivers who cause them.
在街道安全界，将车祸称为“事故”是一种诅咒，因为拥护者和受害者认为，这个词既忽略了导致车祸发生的结构性条件，也忽略了造成车祸的司机的责任。
But habits are hard to break: In conducting interviews for this piece, I frequently found myself saying “my accident” before quickly backtracking: “I mean, my crash.” It does seem to matter that the drivers who cause great harm, while they may be careless, are not setting out to injure or kill someone.
但习惯很难打破：在为这篇文章进行采访时，我经常发现自己说“我的事故”，然后迅速回溯：“我的意思是，我的事故。”造成巨大伤害的司机虽然可能很粗心，但他们并不是故意伤害或杀人，这似乎确实很重要。
In cases like mine, the decision to flee the scene adds an element of cruelty, but I could imagine legitimate—if not exculpatory—reasons why someone might do so.
在像我这样的案例中，逃离现场的决定增加了残忍的因素，但我可以想象有人这样做的合理理由（如果不是无罪的话）。
What if they were unable to afford a ticket or legal fees?
如果他们无力承担机票或律师费怎么办？
Undocumented and wary of immigration consequences?
无证且担心移民后果？
When I returned to work a few weeks after the crash, one of my first projects was a collaboration with a young man who had just spent a week on Rikers Island—New York City’s largest jail—during an acute understaffing crisis.
事故发生几周后，当我回到工作岗位时，我的第一个项目是与一位年轻人合作，他刚刚在纽约市最大的监狱赖克斯岛度过了一周，当时正值严重的人手不足危机。
He described a nightmarish scene: jam-packed cells, no showers, insufficient food, people in medical distress left to suffer on the floor.
他描述了一个噩梦般的场景：牢房挤满了人，没有淋浴，食物不足，处于医疗困境的人只能躺在地板上受苦。
I knew I didn’t believe that R.
我知道我不相信R。
deserved such treatment, or that experiencing such conditions would make him less likely to harm someone else with a car in the future.
应该受到这样的待遇，或者经历这种情况将使他将来不太可能用汽车伤害别人。
Why, as the abolitionist geographer Ruth Wilson Gilmore has asked , would we expect the violence of incarceration to combat the violence of our society?
正如废奴主义地理学家露丝·威尔逊·吉尔摩（Ruth Wilson Gilmore）所问的那样，为什么我们会期望监禁的暴力能够对抗我们社会的暴力？
I was glad, therefore, when the police abandoned the case without charging R.
因此，当警察放弃此案而没有对 R 提出指控时，我感到很高兴。
I had wrangled a personal injury settlement and full coverage of my medical bills from the vehicle’s insurance company, which helped me more than any punishment for R.
我已经与车辆保险公司达成了人身伤害和解协议，并全额承保了我的医疗费用，这比对 R 的任何惩罚都对我有帮助。
would have.
会的。
Still, I struggled with the knowledge that he would not be held directly accountable.
尽管如此，当我知道他不会被直接追究责任时，我还是很挣扎。
When friends and family asked if the driver who hit me would face any consequences, I said no, and that it was for the best.
当朋友和家人问撞我的司机是否会面临任何后果时，我说不会，这是最好的。
But I knew it wasn’t that simple.
但我知道事情没那么简单。
Would I have felt satisfied with the insurance settlement if my injuries or trauma had been more severe?
如果我的受伤或创伤更严重，我会对保险赔偿感到满意吗？
What if it had been someone I loved who was hit, and I had been the person at the bedside, watching?
如果是我所爱的人被击中，而我是在床边看着的人怎么办？
And what if R.
如果 R 呢？
went on to hurt someone else?
还去伤害别人？
After the crash, I wanted to believe another world was possible, but I still found it hard to envision, concretely, what a just response to R.’s actions might look like—or what I might want from him to help me heal.
事故发生后，我想相信另一个世界是可能的，但我仍然发现很难具体地想象对 R. 的行为的公正回应会是什么样子，或者我可能希望从他那里得到什么来帮助我治愈。
Prison abolitionists often speak of violence as a social problem, born of systemic factors, like poverty and disenfranchisement.
废除监狱主义者经常将暴力视为一个社会问题，源于贫困和剥夺公民权等系统性因素。
They argue that our response to it also reflects a social deficit: Our reliance on locking away harm-doers is the flip side of our failure to consider the context for their actions, and the conditions that would enable them to change their behavior and make amends—factors we must confront if we’re ever to move toward a world without prisons.
他们认为，我们对此的反应也反映了一种社会缺陷：我们依赖关押伤害者的另一面是我们没有考虑他们行为的背景，以及使他们能够改变行为和做出弥补的条件——如果我们要迈向一个没有监狱的世界，我们必须面对这些因素。
In a forthcoming conversation on abolition in the Radical History Review , the organizer and law professor Dean Spade argues that “the existing criminal punishment system .
在《激进历史评论》即将举行的一场关于废除死刑的对话中，组织者、法学教授迪安·斯佩德认为，“现有的刑事处罚制度……”
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wants us to be as passive as possible and not solve our own problems with each other.” This, he said, is why envisioning a prison-free world is “hard for a lot of people who are new to the analysis .
希望我们尽可能被动，不要互相解决我们自己的问题。”他说，这就是为什么想象一个没有监狱的世界“对于很多刚接触分析的人来说是困难的……”。
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It’s a tall order to actually know our neighbors, to care about each other, to get better at having hard conversations.” Though I don’t necessarily consider myself “new” to the analysis—I first began reading the work of abolitionists almost a decade ago—I recognize myself at least partially in Spade’s description.
真正了解我们的邻居、互相关心、更好地进行艰难的对话是一项艰巨的任务。”尽管我不一定认为自己对这种分析是“新手”——我大约十年前第一次开始阅读废奴主义者的著作——但我至少在斯佩德的描述中部分地认识到了自己。
After the crash, I wanted to believe another world was possible, but I still found it hard to envision, concretely, what a just response to R.’s actions might look like—or what I might want from him to help me heal.
事故发生后，我想相信另一个世界是可能的，但我仍然发现很难具体地想象对 R. 的行为的公正回应会是什么样子，或者我可能希望从他那里得到什么来帮助我治愈。
A year and a half after my crash, I started speaking to the people who had built and participated in Circles for Safe Streets, the new restorative justice program for traffic violence in New York City, to learn about its efforts to address serious crashes without resorting to incarceration.
在我发生车祸一年半后，我开始与“安全街道圈”（Circles for Safe Streets）的创建者和参与者进行交谈，该项目是针对纽约市交通暴力的新的恢复性司法计划，以了解该项目在不诉诸监禁的情况下解决严重车祸的努力。
Meanwhile, I went looking for the man who hit me.
与此同时，我去找那个打我的人。
I wanted to know why he did what he did, so I might more easily understand his actions in a social context, rather than as one person’s irreparable cruelty.
我想知道他为什么这么做，这样我可以更容易地在社会背景下理解他的行为，而不是作为一个人无可挽回的残忍。
I wanted to ask him why he drove away.
我想问他为什么开车走。
On a Friday morning in November 2016, Ron Filepp decided to go for a bike ride.
2016 年 11 月的一个星期五早上，罗恩·菲莱普 (Ron Filepp) 决定去骑自行车。
His wife, Robin Middleman Filepp, his partner of nearly 40 years, kissed him goodbye before he left their home in central New Jersey, where Ron—a former radio DJ who now worked as a court clerk—had built a studio for Robin, an artist, in a backyard that abutted the woods.
他的妻子罗宾·米德曼·菲莱普 (Robin Middleman Filepp) 是他近 40 年的伴侣，在他离开新泽西州中部的家之前，他与他吻别。罗恩（Ron）——一位前电台 DJ，现在担任法庭书记员——在靠近树林的后院为艺术家罗宾建造了一间工作室。
Ron, who was 64, was an avid cycler.
64 岁的罗恩是一位狂热的自行车爱好者。
This sometimes worried Robin, who wished he would ride on trails, away from cars.
这有时会让罗宾担心，他希望自己能在小路上骑行，远离汽车。
That day, he planned to drive 45 minutes to a rural road in a forested area called the Pine Barrens.
那天，他计划开车 45 分钟前往松林贫瘠林区的一条乡村公路。
He told her not to worry if he was late getting back.
他告诉她如果他回来晚了不用担心。
All the same, around 6:00 pm, Robin began to think it was strange that Ron wasn’t home yet.
尽管如此，下午 6:00 左右，罗宾开始觉得罗恩还没回家很奇怪。
She knew better than to panic when he didn’t pick up the phone, since Ron was “infamous” for losing his phone in silly ways: “One time, after I couldn’t reach him, he said, ‘Oh, I dropped my phone in the stream,’” Robin, who is 71 and has neat gray hair and wears bright green hexagonal glasses, told me recently over coffee.
当罗恩不接电话时，她知道最好不要惊慌，因为罗恩因为以愚蠢的方式丢失手机而“臭名昭著”：“有一次，当我联系不上他时，他说，‘哦，我把手机掉进溪里了，’”71 岁的罗宾最近在喝咖啡时告诉我，他有一头整齐的白发，戴着亮绿色的六边形眼镜。
Robin speaks gently and deliberately, sometimes looking briefly into the distance while she gathers her thoughts.
罗宾说话轻柔而从容，有时会短暂地凝视远方，集中思绪。
That November night, when 7:30 pm rolled around with no sign of Ron, she began looking for reports of accidents online.
那个 11 月的晚上，晚上 7 点 30 分，罗恩不见踪影，她开始在网上寻找事故报告。
She told herself that if he hadn’t returned by 8:00 pm, she would call the police.
她告诉自己，如果他在晚上 8:00 之前还没有回来，她就报警。
But she didn’t have to.
但她不必这样做。
Right on the hour, two state troopers showed up at her door, bringing the news that, at 3:30 pm that day, Ron had been hit by a car and killed.
就在这时，两名州警出现在她家门口，带来了消息：当天下午 3:30，罗恩被车撞死。
The driver had fled the scene.
司机已逃离现场。
The 911 call came from a woman who had seen his crumpled bike on the side of the road, which she took for a pile of sticks until she noticed Ron lying there and pulled over.
911 电话是一位女士打来的，她看到路边有他那辆皱巴巴的自行车，她以为那是一堆棍子，直到她注意到罗恩躺在那儿，就把车停在了路边。
Robin would eventually find out that Ron had died almost immediately upon impact, which came as a kind of relief.
罗宾最终会发现罗恩几乎在撞击后立即死亡，这让他松了一口气。
She had feared that he had been left “lying there suffering while people went by.”
她担心他会“躺在那儿受苦，而人们经过时”。
The woman who hit Ron was only 20 years old.
打罗恩的那个女人只有20岁。
Eight months later, after pleading guilty to leaving the scene of a fatal accident, she was sentenced to a year in jail—of which she served six months—and four years of probation, as well as two years of license suspension.
八个月后，在承认离开致命事故现场的罪名后，她被判处一年监禁（服刑六个月）和四年缓刑，并吊销驾照两年。
Attending hearings leading up to the sentencing, Robin was frustrated that the woman didn’t seem to show remorse.
罗宾在出席宣判前的听证会时，对这名女子似乎没有表现出悔意感到沮丧。
“More than anything, I was looking for an apology.
“最重要的是，我希望得到道歉。
I was looking for recognition and an acknowledgment that she took a life,” she said.
我正在寻求认可并承认她夺走了一条生命，”她说。
Instead, she thought the woman’s manner in court seemed glib, lacking in depth.
相反，她认为这名女子在法庭上的态度似乎油嘴滑舌，缺乏深度。
“The whole time she just looked straight ahead.
“自始至终，她都直视前方。
And she was crying.
她在哭。
And I had a gut reaction to it,” Robin said.
我对此有本能的反应，”罗宾说。
“I wasn’t seeing anything that [expressed] compassion for me or for Ron’s memory.” This impression stemmed in part from the circumstances of the crash: Robin said she was told by the county prosecutor that the driver never called the authorities, but sent a series of text messages to her mother and a friend, first saying “I think I hit a deer,” and then, “I think I hit a person.
“我没有看到任何[表达]对我或罗恩的记忆的同情。”这种印象部分源于事故发生的情况：罗宾说，县检察官告诉她，司机从未给当局打电话，而是给她的母亲和一个朋友发了一系列短信，首先说“我想我撞到了一头鹿”，然后，“我想我撞到了一个人。
I’m fucked, I’m going to jail.” According to the prosecutor, it was the woman’s mother who called the police.
我完蛋了，我要进监狱了。”据检察官称，是该女子的母亲报了警。
To Robin, this reaction suggested that the driver knew she had hit someone, but was more afraid for herself than for the victim of the crash.
对罗宾来说，这种反应表明司机知道她撞到了人，但更担心自己而不是事故的受害者。
Robin was frustrated that the woman who hit Ron didn’t seem to show remorse.
罗宾感到沮丧的是，殴打罗恩的女人似乎没有表现出悔意。
“More than anything, I was looking for an apology,” she said.
“最重要的是，我希望得到道歉，”她说。
In the year and a half after Ron’s death, Robin struggled, attempting to end her own life three times by overdosing on prescription drugs.
在罗恩去世后的一年半里，罗宾陷入了挣扎，三次试图通过服用过量处方药来结束自己的生命。
After waking up the third time, she knew something had to change: She decided, abruptly, to move to Brooklyn.
第三次醒来后，她知道有些事情必须改变：她突然决定搬到布鲁克林。
She knew of a metalsmithing studio there where she could rent space; she couldn’t bear to be in the backyard studio Ron had built anymore.
她知道那里有一家金属加工工作室，她可以在那里租用空间。她再也无法忍受呆在罗恩建造的后院工作室里了。
Around the same time, she discovered Families for Safe Streets (FSS), a Transportation Alternatives project made up of victims of traffic violence and their loved ones, which offered her a community that understood what she had gone through.
大约在同一时间，她发现了安全街道家庭 (FSS)，这是一个由交通暴力受害者及其亲人组成的交通替代项目，该项目为她提供了一个理解她所经历过的社区。
A few years later, when the group got involved in developing the Circles for Safe Streets program, based on restorative justice principles, Robin was intrigued.
几年后，当该组织根据恢复性司法原则参与开发“安全街道圈子”计划时，罗宾对此很感兴趣。
She was skeptical of the criminal justice system and interested in alternatives, and she believed that Ron would have been, too.
她对刑事司法系统持怀疑态度，并对替代方案感兴趣，她相信罗恩也会如此。
The term “restorative justice” was popularized in the 1990s by the criminologist Howard Zehr, though he and other practitioners point out that similar approaches have been used across history, including in many Indigenous communities.
“恢复性司法”一词在 20 世纪 90 年代由犯罪学家霍华德·泽尔 (Howard Zehr) 普及，尽管他和其他从业者指出，类似的方法在历史上曾被使用过，包括在许多土著社区中。
Zehr outlined three main questions that should inform restorative justice practices: “Who has been hurt in this situation?
泽尔概述了应该为恢复性司法实践提供信息的三个主要问题：“在这种情况下谁受到了伤害？
What are their needs?
他们的需求是什么？
Whose obligation is it to address those needs?” In the years since, restorative justice has gained traction among activists seeking to move away from carceral responses to violence and harm.
谁有义务满足这些需求？”此后的几年里，恢复性司法受到了寻求摆脱对暴力和伤害的监禁反应的活动人士的关注。
The term is typically—though not exclusively—associated with processes in which victim and offender face each other directly, often in the presence of their loved ones; in some cases, harm-doers commit to providing financial or other forms of reparation, or to engaging in longer-term work to change their behavior.
该术语通常（尽管不是唯一）与受害者和犯罪者直接面对面的过程相关，通常是在他们所爱的人在场的情况下；在某些情况下，伤害者承诺提供经济或其他形式的赔偿，或从事长期工作以改变其行为。
The approach has made headway in institutions: Schools around the country have begun running such programs for students, in an attempt to thwart the school-to-prison pipeline; some courts offer them as “alternatives to incarceration” for low-level and juvenile offenders.
这种方法在机构中取得了进展：全国各地的学校已经开始为学生开展此类项目，试图阻止学校到监狱的管道；一些法院将其作为低级别罪犯和青少年罪犯的“监禁替代方案”。
Advocates say that, in addition to preserving the humanity of the perpetrator, restorative justice better serves the victim; as Zehr has written , the harmed party is sidelined by the courts, which center questions like “What laws were broken?
支持者表示，恢复性司法除了保护犯罪者的人性之外，还能更好地为受害者服务。正如泽尔所写，受害方被法院边缘化，这集中了诸如“违反了哪些法律？”之类的问题。
Who did it?
谁干的？
What do they deserve?”
他们应得什么？”
FSS worked on the Circles for Safe Streets program with the Center for Justice Innovation (CJI), a nonprofit that pursues alternatives to incarceration.
FSS 与司法创新中心 (CJI) 合作开展“安全街道圈”计划，该中心是一家寻求监禁替代方案的非营利组织。
In speaking to FSS members for a previous project, “I was struck by the number of people who shared what it would have meant to them just to receive a simple apology,” said Amanda Berman, the deputy director of regional programs at CJI.
CJI 区域项目副主任阿曼达·伯曼 (Amanda Berman) 在与 FSS 成员就之前的项目进行交谈时，“令我震惊的是，有很多人都表示，仅仅收到一个简单的道歉对他们来说意味着什么”。
Most talked about feeling let down or even retraumatized by their experiences with the criminal justice system.
大多数人表示，他们因刑事司法系统的经历而感到失望，甚至再次受到创伤。
Like Robin, many were convinced that the drivers who had injured them or killed their loved ones were not contrite: They spoke of how a driver wouldn’t look them in the eye, or never reached out to express remorse.
和罗宾一样，许多人相信那些伤害他们或杀死他们亲人的司机并不悔恨：他们说司机不会直视他们的眼睛，或者从来没有伸出手来表达悔意。
Berman, who had previously practiced as a defense attorney, knew all too well that the court system wasn’t designed to make space for such apologies.
伯曼此前曾担任辩护律师，他非常清楚法院系统的设计初衷并不是为此类道歉腾出空间。
Most defense attorneys urge their clients to avoid strengthening the case against them by acknowledging guilt.
大多数辩护律师敦促他们的当事人避免通过认罪来强化对他们的指控。
(The same is true in civil cases, where admitting fault can increase liability.) “The attorney is advising you, ‘Don’t say a word and don’t contact that person,’” said Hillary Packer, a senior associate in restorative practices at CJI.
（在民事案件中也是如此，承认错误会增加责任。）“律师建议你，‘不要说一句话，也不要联系那个人，’”CJI 恢复性实践高级律师希拉里·帕克 (Hillary Packer) 说。
But when CJI began holding listening sessions with drivers who had been responsible for a serious injury or death, they found that many were in fact distraught about what they had done.
但当 CJI 开始与那些对严重受伤或死亡负有责任的司机举行听证会时，他们发现许多人实际上对自己的所作所为感到心烦意乱。
Deprived by the system of any chance to atone, some were living with PTSD or had contemplated suicide.
由于体制剥夺了任何赎罪的机会，一些人患有创伤后应激障碍或曾考虑自杀。
“What they said repeatedly was, ‘All I wanted to do was try to make amends.
“他们反复说的是，‘我想做的就是尽力弥补。
I was longing to do something or say something to this person whom I knew I had deeply impacted,’” said Packer.
我渴望对这个我知道深受我影响的人做点什么或说点什么，”帕克说。
The staff was struck by how profoundly the reality often differed from the impressions formed by victims’ families.
令工作人员震惊的是，现实往往与受害者家属的印象有如此巨大的差异。
They became increasingly convinced that restorative justice practices could better serve the needs of all involved, creating a confidential space where drivers could express remorse without legal consequences, and where victims could receive the apologies they were looking for.
他们越来越相信，恢复性司法做法可以更好地满足所有相关人员的需求，创造一个保密的空间，司机可以在其中表达悔意而不承担法律后果，受害者也可以得到他们所寻求的道歉。
Restorative justice practitioners meet for a circle during a 2018 convening held by Impact Justice and partner organizations.
在影响正义和合作伙伴组织举办的 2018 年会议上，恢复性司法从业者齐聚一堂。
Photo courtesy of Impact Justice.
照片由影响正义提供。
In the fall of 2021, shortly after I was hit on Fulton Street, New York City’s district attorneys began referring cases to Circles for Safe Streets.
2021 年秋天，我在富尔顿街被撞后不久，纽约市的地方检察官开始将案件转交给安全街道圈子。
Most of the referrals involved drivers who had been charged with misdemeanors under the 2014 law, and who were encouraged to participate in Circles as an alternative to probation or community service; a few drivers faced more serious charges, like involuntary manslaughter, and had been offered less time behind bars in exchange for completing the Circles program.
大多数转介涉及根据 2014 年法律被指控犯有轻罪的司机，他们被鼓励参加 Circles 作为缓刑或社区服务的替代方案；一些司机面临更严重的指控，例如过失杀人，并被提供了更少的刑期，以换取完成 Circles 计划。
CJI also sought FSS members who would be willing to serve as surrogates for the families of victims who had been killed: While the goal of restorative justice is typically to bring perpetrators into direct accountability processes with their victims or victims’ loved ones, some programs tap survivors with similar experiences to stand in for victims who don’t feel able to participate.
CJI 还寻找愿意充当被害受害者家属代理人的 FSS 成员：虽然恢复性司法的目标通常是让肇事者与受害者或受害者亲人一起直接承担责任，但有些项目会利用具有类似经历的幸存者来代替感觉无法参与的受害者。
Seven of the 11 Circles for Safe Streets processes held so far have involved surrogates.
迄今为止举行的 11 个“安全街道圈”程序中，有 7 个涉及代孕妈妈。
I spoke with one driver, Gale Lawrence, who participated in such a circle after she hit and killed a woman she had failed to see crossing the street on a snowy day.
我与一位名叫盖尔·劳伦斯 (Gale Lawrence) 的司机进行了交谈，她在下雪天撞死了一名她没能看到过马路的妇女后，参加了这样的一个圈子。
The crash left Lawrence—a Brooklyn mother of two who works as a caretaker for disabled people—unable to eat, plagued by insomnia and tormented by nightmares of people dying in accidents or violent shootings.
劳伦斯是布鲁克林两个孩子的母亲，担任残疾人看护人，这场车祸导致她无法进食，失眠，并被死于事故或暴力枪击的噩梦所折磨。
Her blood pressure shot up, and her doctor prescribed three different medications to bring it down.
她的血压突然升高，医生开了三种不同的药物来降低血压。
She stopped driving for a year.
她已经停止开车一年了。
Though she thought often of trying to contact the woman’s family—maybe dropping off a wreath of flowers—people in her life cautioned her against it, warning her that she didn’t know how they would react.
尽管她经常想尝试联系这位女士的家人——也许可以送上花圈——但她生活中的人们警告她不要这样做，警告她不知道他们会如何反应。
When she was referred to the Circles for Safe Streets program by a judge, she feared that the surrogate family she would face—the immediate family and close friend of a woman who had been killed earlier that year—might throw things at her and call her names.
当法官将她转介至“安全街道圈子”计划时，她担心她将要面对的代理家庭（当年早些时候被杀的一名妇女的直系亲属和密友）可能会向她扔东西并辱骂她。
But to her surprise, the family comforted her, telling her that they knew she hadn’t intended to cause harm and they didn’t condemn her.
但令她惊讶的是，家人安慰了她，告诉她他们知道她无意造成伤害，也没有谴责她。
After the circle, Lawrence started eating and sleeping again.
一圈之后，劳伦斯又开始吃饭和睡觉。
Her blood pressure improved dramatically, to her doctor’s surprise.
令医生惊讶的是，她的血压显着改善。
She credits the process with making her a safer driver—and it also gave her hope that the family of the woman she hit might someday forgive her.
她认为这个过程让她成为了一名更安全的司机，这也让她希望被撞女子的家人有一天会原谅她。
“I wished it was them that were speaking,” she told me.
“我希望是他们在说话，”她告诉我。
“I began to think maybe one day they would go to Circles for Safe Streets and we could talk.”
“我开始想也许有一天他们会去 Circles for Safe Streets，我们可以谈谈。”
Among the FSS members who volunteered to serve as a surrogate was Robin.
罗宾是自愿担任代孕妈妈的 FSS 成员之一。
Her interest was not just intellectual: Because she believed that the driver in Ron’s case had failed in “recognizing Ron’s humanity,” she hoped to receive that validation from another driver.
她的兴趣不仅仅是智力上的：因为她相信罗恩案件中的司机未能“认识到罗恩的人性”，所以她希望得到另一位司机的认可。
On the day of the circle, Robin’s niece went along to support her; the driver brought her husband and brother.
活动当天，罗宾的侄女也来支持她。司机带来了她的丈夫和兄弟。
Each participant had met with facilitators for preparatory conversations and had a turn to speak during the circle itself.
每个参与者都与协调员会面进行准备对话，并在圆圈中轮流发言。
Hearing the driver—who had hit and killed a woman in a crosswalk because she didn’t see her from behind the wheel of a large SUV—talk about her own sense of devastation provided Robin with “a transfusion of compassion that I had sorely needed,” she said.
她说，听到司机——他在人行横道上撞死了一名妇女，因为她坐在一辆大型SUV的方向盘后面，没有看到她——讲述了她自己的毁灭感，这为罗宾提供了“我迫切需要的同情心”。
Robin was grateful, too, for the chance to hear her niece talk about how Ron’s death had affected her: “She said she lost her uncle, but then she lost her aunt, because I was so gone for a while.
罗宾也很感激有机会听到她的侄女谈论罗恩的死对她的影响：“她说她失去了她的叔叔，但后来她失去了她的阿姨，因为我已经离开了一段时间。
She’d never said that to me before.” Above all, it helped her to know that, even if she hadn’t received an apology for Ron’s death, there were people out there who wanted to make amends.
她以前从来没有对我说过这样的话。”最重要的是，这让她知道，即使她没有收到罗恩之死的道歉，也有人想要弥补。
Still, she struggled with the knowledge that she wouldn’t be able to go through the same process with the driver who hit Ron.
尽管如此，她还是很挣扎，因为她知道自己无法与撞倒罗恩的司机经历同样的过程。
Because the woman hadn’t expressed remorse, neither giving a statement in court nor reaching out in private, Robin found it hard to imagine that she would be a good candidate for a restorative justice program.
由于该女子没有表示悔意，既没有在法庭上发表声明，也没有私下伸出援手，罗宾发现很难想象她会成为恢复性司法计划的良好候选人。
This feeling was compounded by the fact that, though the woman had been sentenced to reimburse Robin for Ron’s funeral costs—at a modest monthly rate—Robin had never received any payments.
这种感觉因以下事实而变得更加复杂：尽管该妇女被判以每月适度的价格偿还罗宾的葬礼费用，但罗宾从未收到过任何付款。
Robin was aware that some drivers were legally advised not to apologize, but she didn’t believe this applied in Ron’s case because the driver had pleaded guilty, effectively admitting culpability.
罗宾知道法律建议一些司机不要道歉，但她不认为这适用于罗恩的案件，因为司机已经认罪，实际上承认了有罪。
“I was sad when I realized, well, my case would never have worked [for a circle],” Robin said in that first conversation.
“当我意识到，我的案子永远不会（在一个圈子里）成功时，我感到很难过，”罗宾在第一次谈话中说道。
“There’s never going to be any apology to me for Ron.” As the first Circles of Safe Streets sessions kicked off, I was busy wading through the legal and medical bureaucracy that awaits the American crash victim.
“我永远不会为罗恩道歉。”当第一届“安全街道圈”会议开始时，我正忙着穿过等待美国车祸受害者的法律和医疗官僚机构。
Vaccaro, the lawyer I hired to help me secure coverage of my medical bills and additional personal injury compensation, began calling the local police precinct, haranguing them to track down the offending van so we could obtain the insurance information.
我聘请的律师瓦卡罗（Vaccaro）帮助我支付医疗费用和额外的人身伤害赔偿，他开始给当地警察局打电话，劝说他们追踪肇事货车，以便我们获得保险信息。
Perhaps thanks to his persistence, the police took the step of opening an investigation, collecting a photo of the license plate taken by a witness, and calling in the registered owner for questioning.
也许是由于他的坚持，警方采取了展开调查的步骤，收集了目击者拍摄的车牌照片，并传唤了登记车主进行询问。
According to files I recently received through a public records request, the owner told a detective that her “common law husband” used the van for “transporting kids’ bouncy houses and such.” (I later deduced that he owned a small company that put on children’s birthday parties.) She said she didn’t know which of his employees was driving at the hour of the crash, and the police were ultimately stymied by the fact that no one would admit to being the person behind the wheel.
根据我最近通过公共记录请求收到的文件，车主告诉一名侦探，她的“普通法丈夫”使用这辆货车“运输孩子的充气屋等”。 （我后来推断他拥有一家举办儿童生日派对的小公司。）她说，她不知道事故发生时他的哪位员工在开车，而警方最终因为没有人承认自己是驾驶者而陷入困境。
The detectives closed the case on December 9th, but not before giving Vaccaro the name of the vehicle’s insurance provider, which eventually paid for the care I received after the crash.
侦探们于 12 月 9 日结案，但在此之前，瓦卡罗向瓦卡罗提供了车辆保险公司的名称，该保险公司最终支付了我在车祸后接受的护理费用。
The woman who owned the van that hit me said she didn’t know who had been driving at the hour of the crash, and the police were ultimately stymied by the fact that no one would admit to being the person behind the wheel.
撞到我的那辆货车的车主女士说，她不知道事故发生时是谁在开车，而警方最终因为没有人承认自己是驾驶者而陷入困境。
At the end of October, I returned to running, beginning slowly as my ribs adjusted to holding rapid breaths again.
十月底，我重新开始跑步，开始缓慢地跑步，因为我的肋骨再次适应了急促的呼吸。
Just before Thanksgiving, Vaccaro called to tell me that the insurance company had agreed to pay me a hefty settlement on top of footing my hospital bills, as long as we promised not to go after their client for more money.
感恩节前夕，瓦卡罗打电话告诉我，保险公司同意在支付我的医院账单之外，向我支付一大笔和解金，只要我们承诺不再向他们的客户索要更多钱。
He also mentioned that the car’s registered owner had finally told the insurance company the name of the man who had hit me.
他还提到，汽车的登记车主终于告诉保险公司撞我的人的名字。
I immediately googled him but found almost nothing: a couple of Facebook pages without public posts; a sparse Whitepages entry.
我立即用谷歌搜索他，但几乎什么也没找到：几个没有公开帖子的 Facebook 页面；稀疏的白页条目。
When I decided to search for R.
当我决定寻找 R.
in earnest, a year and a half later, those scant leads proved hard to follow.
说实话，一年半后，事实证明这些微乎其微的线索很难追踪。
I slipped a letter under the door of the address I had found on Whitepages, and received a call the next day from a man whose name was indeed R., but who swore he hadn’t been involved in any accident; he hadn’t driven a car in five years.
我从白页上找到的地址门缝里塞了一封信，第二天接到一个电话，是一个名叫 R. 的人打来的，但他发誓说他没有卷入任何事故；他已经五年没有开车了。
When I got my investigative file from the police, I remembered that there had been a second R.
当我从警方那里拿到调查档案时，我想起还有第二个R。
on Facebook who had listed his employment as, sure enough, a kids’ entertainment company.
在 Facebook 上，他将自己的工作列为一家儿童娱乐公司。
I sent him a friend request and a message.
我向他发送了好友请求和消息。
No response.
没有回应。
I began calling the company; the receptionist didn’t know what to do with me, said she didn’t know any R.
我开始给公司打电话；接待员不知道该拿我怎么办，说她不认识R。
I found the name of the company’s owner, presumably the “common law husband,” and tried calling him.
我找到了公司老板的名字，大概是“普通法丈夫”，并尝试给他打电话。
Number out of service.
号码停止服务。
I sent him a Facebook message.
我给他发了一条 Facebook 消息。
Nothing.
没有什么。
My big plan to find R.
我的大计划是找到 R。
had rolled to an anticlimactic halt.
已经陷入了虎头蛇尾的停顿。
In reporting on the Circles for Safe Streets model, I had started to wonder whether we could have participated in something similar.
在报道安全街道圈子模型时，我开始怀疑我们是否可以参与类似的活动。
But how do you forgive someone who doesn’t want to make amends with you?
但是，你如何原谅一个不想与你和解的人呢？
What about someone you can’t find?
找不到人怎么办？
My story seemed like the kind of data point law-and-order politicians might savor: Big city is rife with lawless hooligans after all!
我的故事似乎是治安政治家可能会喜欢的数据点：大城市毕竟充斥着无法无天的流氓！
Not everyone is going to want to sing kumbaya with you!
不是每个人都想和你一起唱 kumbaya！
Etcetera.
等等。
I mentioned my failure to find R.
我提到我没能找到R。
in a conversation with Cymone Fuller, director of the Restorative Justice Project at Impact Justice, which aids communities across the country in implementing restorative justice programs.
在与 Impact Justice 恢复性司法项目主任 Cymone Fuller 的对话中，该项目帮助全国各地的社区实施恢复性司法计划。
Fuller acknowledged that because of the practice’s Indigenous origins, many of its techniques were designed for tight-knit communities in which everyone knew each other, rather than for incidents involving strangers, like R.
富勒承认，由于这种做法起源于土著，它的许多技术都是为每个人都互相认识的紧密社区而设计的，而不是为像 R. 那样涉及陌生人的事件而设计的。
and me.
还有我。
“Part of what is challenging about the application of restorative justice now is that we are also having to build community as we try to repair relationships,” she said.
“现在恢复性司法的应用面临的部分挑战是，我们在努力修复关系时还必须建立社区，”她说。
In the contexts Fuller was describing, harm-doers might take part in restorative justice processes out of a sense of obligation to the people around them, or a fear of losing their place in their communities; the model available to me, on the other hand, relied on drivers like R.
在富勒描述的背景下，伤害者可能出于对周围人的义务感或担心失去在社区中的地位而参与恢复性司法程序；另一方面，我可用的模型依赖于像 R 这样的驱动程序。
feeling a personal desire to atone.
感受到个人的赎罪欲望。
I had struck out on finding R., but I still had to look for the woman who hit Ron: In order to include Robin’s impressions of her, I would need to give her a chance to comment.
我已经放弃了寻找 R.，但我仍然必须寻找打罗恩的女人：为了包含罗宾对她的印象，我需要给她一个发表评论的机会。
I had begun to group R.
我已经开始对R进行分组了。
with this woman in my mind—harm-doers who seemed unwilling to own up to their actions in the way that a restorative justice program like Circles for Safe Streets would require.
我脑海中浮现出这个女人——那些伤害者，她们似乎不愿意像“安全街道圈子”这样的恢复性司法计划所要求的那样承认自己的行为。
Everyone I spoke to who had been involved in Circles for Safe Streets stressed that the program is only appropriate for certain cases of traffic violence—an important option, but not a blanket replacement for all criminal proceedings.
我采访过的每个参与安全街道圈子的人都强调，该计划仅适用于某些交通暴力案件——这是一个重要的选择，但并不能全面替代所有刑事诉讼。
For one thing, Packer said, CJI will only set up a circle if the driver accepts responsibility for their role in the crash.
帕克表示，一方面，只有当司机承认自己在事故中所扮演的角色时，CJI 才会设立一个圆圈。
(While that might seem to exclude hit-and-run drivers, Packer told me that CSS has run circles with several such perpetrators, including one who fled in a panic and returned two hours later.) When I discussed the program with Vaccaro, he cautioned me that in his career as a civil attorney, he
（虽然这似乎排除了肇事逃逸的司机，但帕克告诉我，CSS 已经与几个这样的肇事者周旋，其中一个惊慌失措地逃跑，两小时后返回。）当我与瓦卡罗讨论该计划时，他警告我，在他作为民事律师的职业生涯中，他
had seen countless drivers avoid owning up to causing harm; he laughed when I suggested that some might be looking for a chance to express remorse.
见过无数司机避免承认造成伤害；当我暗示有些人可能正在寻找机会表达悔意时，他笑了。
“There’s got to be at least three people like that,” he said.
“至少有三个这样的人，”他说。
On the victim’s side, the process requires a willingness to hear directly from the driver.
对于受害者来说，这个过程需要愿意直接听取司机的意见。
“We don’t screen out harmed parties who are not feeling compassionate toward the driver,” but “you have to be open to listening to this person,” Packer said.
“我们不会筛选出那些对司机没有同情心的受害方”，但“你必须愿意倾听这个人的意见，”帕克说。
This may demand a particular disposition.
这可能需要特定的处置。
Tom Proctor, a Families for Safe Streets member whose brother, Charlie, was killed on his bike in a town outside Boston in May 2020, participated as a surrogate in a circle that took place this year—but said he doesn’t believe that many of his family members would be interested in such a process with the driver who hit Charlie.
汤姆·普罗克特 (Tom Proctor) 是安全街道家庭成员，他的兄弟查理 (Charlie) 于 2020 年 5 月在波士顿郊外的一个小镇骑自行车时被撞死，他作为代理人参加了今年举行的一次活动，但他表示，他认为他的许多家庭成员不会对撞查理的司机的这一过程感兴趣。
Tom’s wife, Sandra Voss, who attended the circle with him, pointed out that Tom is personally inclined toward “system blaming” rather than “individual blaming.” (Indeed, when we spoke, he emphasized the flawed design of the intersection where his brother was killed, placing fault with “a society that doesn’t pay serious attention to questions of road design.”) “I think Tom is very low on the anger spectrum,” Voss said.
汤姆的妻子桑德拉·沃斯（Sandra Voss）与他一起参加了这个圈子，她指出汤姆个人倾向于“系统指责”而不是“个人指责”。 （事实上，当我们谈话时，他强调了他兄弟被杀的十字路口的设计缺陷，将错误归咎于“一个不认真关注道路设计问题的社会。”）“我认为汤姆的愤怒程度非常低，”沃斯说。
When families decide they are too angry to listen, Packer said that CJI may try to find a surrogate, or ultimately choose not to proceed.
派克表示，当家人觉得太生气而无法倾听时，CJI 可能会尝试寻找代孕妈妈，或者最终选择不继续。
Through reading old news reports, I found the name of the driver who hit Ron, Anna.
通过翻阅旧新闻报道，我找到了撞倒罗恩的司机的名字，安娜。
After a few days of searching, I stumbled on her Facebook page and sent her a friend request and a message about the story.
经过几天的搜索，我偶然发现了她的 Facebook 页面，并向她发送了好友请求和有关这个故事的消息。
I held out little hope of a response.
我对得到回应不抱什么希望。
But the very next morning, Anna (who asked that I use only her first name) sent me a polite note saying that she was open to talking.
但第二天早上，安娜（她要求我只使用她的名字）给我发了一封礼貌的便条，说她愿意交谈。
A few days later, she joined our scheduled Zoom call from her phone, wearing a baseball cap and standing outside the auto shop near the Jersey Shore where she works fixing cars and doing oil changes.
几天后，她通过手机加入了我们预定的 Zoom 通话，戴着棒球帽，站在泽西海岸附近的汽车店外，她在那里修理汽车和换油。
I had expected someone detached and guarded, but Anna, now 26, was emotionally open and expressive, candid about how deeply the crash had affected her life.
我原以为有人会冷漠而警惕，但现年 26 岁的安娜情绪开放、富有表现力，坦诚地讲述了这次事故对她生活的影响有多大。
In its immediate aftermath, she had become depressed and nearly suicidal, turning to heroin and cocaine to cope.
事件发生后，她立即变得抑郁并几乎有自杀倾向，转而吸食海洛因和可卡因来应对。
“I just couldn’t comprehend the fact that I did that, and just how much harm I caused to his wife and his sisters,” she said, through tears.
“我只是无法理解我这么做了，也无法理解我对他的妻子和姐妹造成了多大的伤害，”她流着泪说。
The county where Ron was killed didn’t have a woman’s jail, so she spent her six months of incarceration—including her 21st birthday—in a neighboring county, a bit farther from family.
罗恩被杀的县没有女子监狱，因此她在邻近的一个县度过了 6 个月的监禁（包括 21 岁生日），离家人有点远。
The cells were often overcrowded; it was too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter, and the showers were moldy and full of gnats.
牢房常常人满为患；夏天太热，冬天太冷，淋浴间发霉，爬满了蚊虫。
There was little therapeutic help available.
几乎没有可用的治疗帮助。
When Anna was released, she went back to using drugs.
安娜被释放后，又开始吸毒。
To fuel her habit, she stole jewelry from a family member; because she was still on probation, she got sentenced to seven months in prison.
为了助长她的习惯，她从一位家庭成员那里偷了珠宝；由于仍在缓刑期间，她被判处七个月监禁。
It took her several years and multiple rehab stints to get clean.
她花了几年的时间和多次康复训练才恢复干净。
Today, she has the support of a psychiatrist and therapist.
如今，她得到了精神科医生和治疗师的支持。
Still, the guilt remains.
尽管如此，愧疚依然存在。
“[Treatment] has helped, but I just, I don’t know—how do you get over something like that?” she said, her voice breaking.
“[治疗]有所帮助，但我只是，我不知道——你如何克服这样的事情？”她声音嘶哑地说。
“Or not necessarily get over it, but learn to deal with it.
“或者不一定要克服它，但要学会处理它。
I still think about it all the time.” Though she likes her current job, her criminal record has made it more difficult to find work.
我至今仍时时想起这件事。”尽管她喜欢目前的工作，但她的犯罪记录让她找工作变得更加困难。
While she didn’t pay the restitution in the phase she spent rotating through rehabs, she told me she’s been paying it for the past year.
虽然她在轮换康复期间没有支付赔偿金，但她告诉我她在过去的一年里一直在支付赔偿金。
(When I relayed this to Robin, she realized she needed to send the court her new address.) Anna became eligible to reclaim her driver’s license several years ago but put it off until this summer, riding an e-bike to work, afraid of getting behind the wheel.
（当我将此事转达给罗宾时，她意识到她需要向法院发送她的新地址。）安娜几年前就有资格重新获得驾驶执照，但直到今年夏天才推迟，她骑着电动自行车上班，因为害怕开车。
Driving still makes her nervous.
开车仍然让她紧张。
Ron and Robin in New York City’s Central Park in 2012.
2012 年，罗恩和罗宾在纽约中央公园。
Photo courtesy of Robin Middleman Filepp.
照片由罗宾·米德曼·菲勒普提供。
“How do you get over something like that?
“你如何克服这样的事情？
Or not necessarily get over it, but learn to deal with it.
或者不一定要克服它，但要学会处理它。
I still think about it all the time.”
我至今仍时时想起这件事。”
Anna also had different information to offer about the crash itself.
安娜还提供了有关坠机事件本身的不同信息。
Contra the prosecutor, she told me that it was she, not her mom, who called the police that day seven years ago.
与检察官相反，她告诉我，七年前的那天是她，而不是她妈妈报了警。
She says she believed that she’d hit an animal when she spaced out briefly behind the wheel and felt an impact; she looked back but didn’t see anything in the road, because Ron had fallen off to the side.
她说，当她在方向盘后面短暂发呆并感受到撞击时，她相信自己撞到了动物。她回头看去，但没有看到路上有任何东西，因为罗恩已经摔倒在一边了。
She texted her girlfriend about hitting a deer when she got home, and decided to report an accident when she saw that her car was damaged.
回到家后，她给女朋友发短信说撞到了鹿，当她看到自己的车被损坏时，决定报告事故。
She told me she only realized something more serious had happened when state troopers and local police officers showed up at her house and arrested her.
她告诉我，当州警和当地警察出现在她家并逮捕她时，她才意识到发生了更严重的事情。
When I asked about the second text, she said she might have sent a follow-up when the police showed up, but she doesn’t remember the details.
当我询问第二条短信时，她说她可能在警察出现时发送了后续短信，但她不记得细节了。
As for the trial, her memories are hard to access, the details mostly “blocked out,” she said.
至于审判，她的记忆很难恢复，细节大多“被封锁”，她说。
She recalls Robin’s victim-impact statement at the sentencing hearing, and how she showed the room a painting she had made of Ron.
她回忆起罗宾在量刑听证会上所作的受害者影响陈述，以及她如何向房间展示她为罗恩创作的一幅画。
She regrets not speaking at the hearing, but at the time, it seemed too hard.
她很遗憾没有在听证会上发言，但当时觉得这太难了。
“I feel like if I had opened my mouth, I would have just lost it.
“我觉得如果我张开嘴，我就会失去它。
I don’t know if I would have been able to pull myself together.” She said the court proceedings felt almost designed to portray her as a “bad person,” leaving little room for her deep remorse; her public defender didn’t spend much time preparing her for the proceedings.
我不知道我是否能够振作起来。”她说，法庭诉讼感觉几乎是为了将她描绘成一个“坏人”，几乎没有给她留下深刻的悔恨空间；她的公设辩护人没有花太多时间让她为诉讼程序做好准备。
She didn’t feel that she had much opportunity “to show that I was genuinely sorry, and genuinely upset, and felt so guilty for what I did.”
她觉得自己没有太多机会“表达我真诚的歉意、真诚的沮丧，并对自己的所作所为感到非常内疚”。
I asked Anna if she had ever considered getting in touch with Robin to apologize.
我问安娜是否考虑过联系罗宾道歉。
She said she thinks about it all the time.
她说她每时每刻都在想这个问题。
She has often imagined writing a letter, but she said the paperwork she received from the court about her sentence stipulated that she’s not supposed to contact the victim’s family as long as she’s on parole, which she will be until later this fall.
她经常想象写一封信，但她说，她从法庭收到的关于她的判决的文件规定，只要她在假释期间，她就不应该联系受害者的家人，而她的假释期要到今年秋天晚些时候。
She’s also never been sure whether Robin would welcome a message: “Does she want me to reach out and apologize, or would it upset her?
她也不确定罗宾是否会欢迎这样的信息：“她是否希望我伸出援手道歉，或者这会让她不高兴？
I don’t want to cause any more damage than I’ve already caused.”
我不想造成比我已经造成的更多的伤害。”
A couple of days after my call with Anna, I met with Robin at the bakery where we’d talked the previous month, in the Brooklyn neighborhood where we both live.
与安娜通话几天后，我在上个月我们交谈过的面包店见到了罗宾，面包店位于我们都居住的布鲁克林社区。
She had dyed her hair turquoise for a music festival she’d just attended in Hawaii, where she heard the rock musician Todd Rundgren—a favorite ever since she discovered his songs among the recent plays on Ron’s iPad after his death.
她刚刚参加了夏威夷的一个音乐节，将头发染成绿松石色，在那里她听到了摇滚音乐家托德·朗格伦 (Todd Rundgren) 的演奏——自从罗恩去世后，她在他的 iPad 上最近播放的戏剧中发现了他的歌曲后，她就一直很喜欢他。
I summarized my conversation with Anna.
我总结了我和安娜的谈话。
Did it make her feel differently to know that Anna actually did think a lot about Ron?
当她知道安娜确实很想罗恩时，她的感受是否有所不同？
Robin took a sip of her coffee and thought it over.
罗宾喝了一口咖啡，想了想。
She said she had mixed feelings.
她说她的心情很复杂。
It was painful that the information was coming almost seven years too late to affect what she’d gone through in the wake of Ron’s death.
令人痛苦的是，这个信息来得太迟了近七年，无法影响罗恩去世后她所经历的事情。
She still felt the lack of an apology acutely, and wasn’t fully convinced that Anna had been legally barred from contacting her.
她仍然强烈地感到没有道歉，并且不完全相信安娜在法律上被禁止与她联系。
The fact that Anna hadn’t looked at her in court still gnawed at Robin.
安娜在法庭上没有看她这一事实仍然让罗宾心痛不已。
Back then, “the way I was feeling was so raw—I was looking for anything.
那时，“我的感觉是如此原始——我在寻找任何东西。
I wouldn’t have hesitated for a second if she had made some gesture of apology,” she said.
如果她做出一些道歉的姿态，我会毫不犹豫，”她说。
She still believes it was appropriate for Anna to get jail time after driving away from the scene.
她仍然认为安娜开车离开现场后入狱是适当的。
But Ron was a “forgiving person,” and Robin wanted to respond in that spirit.
但罗恩是一个“宽容的人”，罗宾想以这种精神做出回应。
She might be prepared to speak to Anna, or at least to accept an apology in writing.
她可能准备好与安娜交谈，或者至少接受书面道歉。
She told me she would have to think about it.
她告诉我她必须考虑一下。
Even as the popularity of restorative justice has grown, it has yet to become anything approaching a standard option for responding to criminalized forms of harm—and it is especially uncommon as a response to traffic violence.
尽管恢复性司法越来越受欢迎，但它尚未成为应对犯罪形式伤害的标准选择，而且作为应对交通暴力的方式尤其不常见。
Circles for Safe Streets appears to be the only program of its kind in the country, and has run just 11 circles in the two years since its launch, largely due to limited funding, which restricts staff capacity.
“安全街道圈”似乎是该国唯一的此类计划，自启动以来的两年内仅运行了 11 个圈，这主要是由于资金有限，从而限制了工作人员的能力。
The existing legal landscape also presents obstacles.
现有的法律环境也存在障碍。
Packer recounted two cases in which a driver and a seriously injured victim were eager to sit down with one another, but their civil attorneys ended up nixing the process, fearing the parties’ candor could impact their case.
帕克讲述了两起案件，其中一名司机和一名严重受伤的受害者渴望坐在一起，但他们的民事律师最终取消了这一过程，担心双方的坦诚可能会影响他们的案件。
Perhaps the thorniest question is whether restorative justice can work in tandem with the criminal courts in particular.
也许最棘手的问题是恢复性司法是否可以与刑事法院协同运作。
There is considerable debate among theorists and practitioners about the value of efforts like Circles for Safe Streets that operate under the auspices of the carceral system even as they seek to subvert its logic.
理论家和实践者对于“安全街道圈”等在监狱系统支持下运作的努力的价值存在相当多的争论，尽管它们试图颠覆其逻辑。
Some prison abolitionists criticize such programs for collaborating with prosecutors and judges, allowing the court system to put on a friendly face while retaining the power to incarcerate.
一些监狱废奴主义者批评此类计划与检察官和法官合作，让法院系统在保留监禁权力的同时表现出友好的面孔。
Berman of CJI acknowledges the tensions inherent in the organization’s relationship to New York’s district attorneys offices: Working within the system provides some “leverage” to get people to participate, she said, but facilitators “don’t want anyone to be coerced.
CJI 的伯曼承认该组织与纽约地区检察官办公室的关系固有的紧张关系：她说，在系统内工作提供了一些让人们参与的“杠杆”，但协调者“不希望任何人受到胁迫”。
It has to be voluntary.” How can they assess whether a driver is truly ready to take accountability when the person may be motivated by a desire to avoid fines or jail time?
这必须是自愿的。”当司机的动机可能是避免罚款或入狱时，他们如何评估司机是否真正准备好承担责任？
Then again, how many people would actually show up absent the threat of criminal consequences?
话又说回来，如果没有刑事后果的威胁，有多少人会真正出现？
“We worry about co-optation all the time,” Fuller of Impact Justice told me.
“我们一直担心拉拢，”影响正义组织的富勒告诉我。
Some abolitionists, like the writer and organizer Mariame Kaba, have warned that trying to slot these radical practices into the existing system can place dire constraints on our collective imagination.
一些废奴主义者，例如作家和组织者玛丽亚姆·卡巴（Mariame Kaba）警告说，试图将这些激进做法纳入现有体系可能会严重限制我们的集体想象力。
“I reject the premise” that restorative justice efforts are “alternatives to incarceration,” she said on The Appeal ’s podcast Justice in America in 2019.
她在 2019 年《上诉》播客《美国的正义》中表示，“我拒绝这样的前提”，即恢复性司法努力是“监禁的替代方案”。
“When I say ‘alternative to prison,’ all you hear is ‘prison’ .
“当我说‘监狱的替代方案’时，你听到的只是‘监狱’。
.
。
.
。
it conditions your imagination to think about the prison as the center .
它会限制你的想象力，以监狱为中心进行思考。
.
。
.
。
And here we are in this position where all you then think about is replacing what we currently use prisons for.”
而我们现在的处境是，你所想到的就是取代我们目前使用的监狱。”
Still, some advocates see court-affiliated restorative justice programs like Circles for Safe Streets as opportunities for prison abolitionists to prove that the carceral system can be displaced: “The goal is that we get to the point where we don’t have to frame [these programs] as an alternative [to incarceration]—that it’s actually a baseline, a default,” said Berman.
尽管如此，一些倡导者仍将诸如“安全街道圈子”之类的法院附属恢复性司法计划视为监狱废奴主义者证明监禁制度可以被取代的机会：“我们的目标是，我们不必将[这些计划]作为[监禁]的替代方案，这实际上是一个基线，一个默认值，”伯曼说。
“In order to get there, though, you have to be willing to offer alternatives.” In the process, Fuller argues, we can begin to build a society predicated on stronger bonds.
“不过，为了实现这一目标，你必须愿意提供替代方案。”富勒认为，在这个过程中，我们可以开始建立一个以更牢固的纽带为基础的社会。
“It’s a restorative experience in and of itself to be accountable when you’ve done something, to be able to say, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve done this, and I want to figure out what I can do to make things right,’” she said.
“当你做了某件事时，能够承担责任，能够说，‘对不起，我做了这件事，我想弄清楚我能做些什么来把事情做好，这本身就是一种恢复性的经历，’”她说。
“It’s also a reminder that you’re a part of something bigger than yourself—you’re part of a community that wants to see you do better.”
“这也提醒你，你是比你自己更伟大的事业的一部分——你是一个希望看到你做得更好的社区的一部分。”
Robin’s experience initially struck me as an example of the ways a restorative justice approach might fail to contain the scope and complexity of human behavior, but now it seemed like evidence of its urgency.
罗宾的经历最初给我留下了深刻的印象，它是恢复性司法方法可能无法涵盖人类行为的范围和复杂性的一个例子，但现在它似乎证明了其紧迫性。
But such opportunities remain rare.
但这样的机会仍然很少见。
A week and a half after our second meeting, Robin texted me to let me know that, after giving it deep thought, she decided she didn’t feel up to speaking directly with Anna.
我们第二次见面一周半后，罗宾发短信告诉我，经过深思熟虑，她决定不适合直接与安娜交谈。
She fears that doing so could endanger the progress she has made toward stability in the wake of Ron’s death.
她担心这样做可能会危及罗恩去世后她在稳定方面取得的进展。
In the days after receiving her message, I wondered whether a restorative justice process like the ones run by Circles for Safe Streets could have mitigated the suffering that both Robin and Anna experienced after the crash.
在收到她的信息后的几天里，我想知道像安全街道圈子这样的恢复性司法程序是否可以减轻罗宾和安娜在车祸后所经历的痛苦。
If Robin was looking for Anna to acknowledge the harm she had caused, and Anna was seeking a way to process her guilt, it seemed clear that the criminal justice system had failed to make space for either.
如果罗宾正在寻找安娜承认她所造成的伤害，而安娜正在寻找一种方法来处理她的罪行，那么很明显，刑事司法系统未能为这两者腾出空间。
With Berman and Packer’s approach, could their story have played out at least a little bit differently?
按照伯曼和帕克的方法，他们的故事的结局至少会有所不同吗？
Robin’s experience initially struck me as an example of the ways a restorative justice approach might fail to contain the scope and complexity of human behavior, but now it seemed like evidence of its urgency.
罗宾的经历最初给我留下了深刻的印象，它是恢复性司法方法可能无法涵盖人类行为的范围和复杂性的一个例子，但现在它似乎证明了其紧迫性。
Talking to Anna had made me feel hopeful that many harm-doers might be willing to take responsibility if they were offered the right opportunity to do so.
与安娜的交谈让我感到充满希望，如果有合适的机会，许多伤害者可能愿意承担责任。
Still, I had to respect the fact that making contact with her might not mean the same thing to Robin.
尽管如此，我还是必须尊重这样一个事实：与她接触对罗宾来说可能并不意味着同样的事情。
In a sense, I had stumbled into the role of the surrogate, receiving answers from Anna that I had hoped to get from the driver who hit me.
从某种意义上说，我无意中扮演了代理人的角色，从安娜那里得到了我原本希望从撞我的司机那里得到的答案。
But this didn’t supplant my unresolved relationship to R., or change Robin and Anna’s unresolved relationship with one another.
但这并没有取代我与 R. 之间尚未解决的关系，也没有改变罗宾和安娜之间尚未解决的关系。
Their story, like mine, had reached an impasse.
他们的故事和我的一样，陷入了僵局。
Sometimes, crossing a busy street still unsettles me; I don’t fully trust cars to stop at the red light.
有时，穿过繁忙的街道仍然让我感到不安；我不完全相信汽车会在红灯时停下来。
When I walk up Fulton Street to meet friends, I hold my breath a little as I pass the crash site.
当我沿着富尔顿街去见朋友时，经过坠机地点时我会屏住呼吸。
I have often taken comfort in the city’s promise of anonymity, savoring the feeling of being unknown.
我经常从这座城市的匿名承诺中得到安慰，享受着不为人知的感觉。
Can we make this expansive metropolis a place where, if R.
我们能否让这座广阔的大都市成为一个地方，如果 R.
hit me with a car, he would feel some sort of obligation—toward me, or toward others in his community—to stay and take responsibility, without the threat of a cage?
如果他用车撞了我，他会感到某种义务——对我，或者对他社区中的其他人——留下来并承担责任，而没有笼子的威胁？
I’ll admit that I still sometimes struggle to see how we would actually get there.
我承认，有时我仍然很难弄清楚我们如何才能真正实现这一目标。
But I am trying to let go of the idea that a solution has to do everything in order to do something.
但我试图放弃“解决方案必须做所有事情才能做某事”的想法。
Even if some harm-doers seem unrepentant, there are more people than we might expect who want to make amends.
即使一些加害者似乎毫不悔改，但想要弥补的人却比我们想象的要多。
It’s at least a place to start.
这至少是一个起点。