Visible Men: Black Fathers Talk About Losing Sons to Police Brutality

Six months have passed since a Minneapolis police officer killed George Perry Floyd Jr., and already the subsequent storm of fury and hope that spawned so many anti-racist dreams seems to have lost its charge.

自明尼阿波利斯警察杀害小乔治·佩里·弗洛伊德以来已经过去了六个月，随后催生了如此多反种族主义梦想的愤怒和希望风暴似乎已经失去了动力。

A recent Pew survey points to a decrease in support for the Black Lives Matter movement among all racial groups except Black people since June, a reflection of the American, and perhaps human, tendency to return to life as normal, even if today's normal is very weird.

皮尤研究中心最近的一项调查显示，自 6 月以来，除黑人之外的所有种族群体对“黑人生命也是命”运动的支持率均有所下降，这反映出美国人，也许还有人类，倾向于恢复正常生活，即使今天的正常生活非常奇怪。

One hopes, at least, that a new awareness has been brought to daily life.

至少，人们希望为日常生活带来一种新的意识。

For a dedicated few, though, Floyd and the other Black people killed and wounded by police will forever remain front of mind—for those activists and civil rights lawyers and family members with a heroic, if sometimes tragic, resolve.

然而，对于少数热心人士来说，弗洛伊德和其他被警察打死打伤的黑人将永远留在他们的脑海中——对于那些拥有英勇（尽管有时是悲惨）决心的活动人士、民权律师和家庭成员来说。

Notable among the steadfast are the men who raised the injured and slain, who tend to be Black and are themselves more likely to have been battered by the forces that undid their kin.

在坚定不移的人中值得注意的是那些抚养受伤和被杀者的人，他们往往是黑人，而且他们自己更有可能受到杀害他们亲属的力量的打击。

It is not possible for them to quit imagining a more just future for the United States.

他们不可能停止想象美国更加公正的未来。

Yet as the movement lulls, they are an easy group to overlook.

然而，随着运动的平息，他们是一个很容易被忽视的群体。

One could be forgiven, for example, for thinking that no man helped raise George Floyd.

例如，如果有人认为没有人帮助抚养乔治·弗洛伊德，这是可以原谅的。

Postmortem profiles in the press took us back to Floyd's youth in the public-housing projects of Houston's Third Ward, where his single mother, Larcenia Floyd, did her level best to help raise him and his siblings.

媒体上的事后简介让我们回到了弗洛伊德年轻时在休斯敦第三区公共住房项目中的情景，在那里，他的单亲母亲拉塞尼娅·弗洛伊德尽最大努力帮助抚养他和他的兄弟姐妹。

Some accounts, searching even deeper for the causes of Floyd's demise, went further back, to his family's roots in the sharecropping South, where his mother grew up as one of 14 children in a small house in the tobacco fields of eastern North Carolina.

一些报道更深入地寻找弗洛伊德的死因，甚至可以追溯到他的家族根源于南方的佃农地区，他的母亲是在北卡罗来纳州东部烟草田的一所小房子里长大的，他的母亲是 14 个孩子之一。

There was a way in which Floyd's story seemed to adhere to a very old myth, hardly questioned now, of the fatherless and thus doomed Black child.

在某种程度上，弗洛伊德的故事似乎遵循了一个非常古老的神话，现在几乎没有人质疑这个神话，即没有父亲并因此注定要失败的黑人孩子。

That Floyd in his final moments on earth cried out for his mother, already deceased, was a kind of heartbreaking capstone to this tale.

弗洛伊德在地球上的最后时刻为他已经去世的母亲哭泣，这是这个故事的一个令人心碎的顶点。

The big man that Floyd was—six feet four inches, 223 pounds—without a big man in his life.

弗洛伊德是个大个子——身高 6 英尺 4 英寸，体重 223 磅——他的生活中没有一个大个子。

This was rendered an implicit part of his tragedy.

这成为他悲剧的隐含部分。

But Floyd's mother had a brother, Selwyn Jones—or Unc, as Floyd called him—a man large in stature and spirit, and a fixture in Floyd's life.

但弗洛伊德的母亲有一个兄弟，塞尔温·琼斯（Selwyn Jones）——弗洛伊德称他为“Unc”——一个身材高大、精神抖擞的人，也是弗洛伊德生活中不可或缺的一部分。

Jones is remarkable in the family for having evaded the traps awaiting poor Black men, through pro sports and later a career in sales and hospitality, and he tried to lay a path for Floyd.

琼斯在家族中表现出色，因为他通过职业体育运动以及后来的销售和酒店业职业，避开了贫穷黑人面临的陷阱，并试图为弗洛伊德铺平道路。

“I talked to his ass often,” Jones told me.

“我经常跟他说话，”琼斯告诉我。

“ ‘Yo, man, you know you need to get your butt right.’ ” Jones, who lives in central South Dakota, a six-hour drive west of Minneapolis, visited Floyd frequently when his nephew moved north from Houston.

“‘哟，伙计，你知道你需要把屁股摆正。’”琼斯住在南达科他州中部，距明尼阿波利斯以西六小时车程，当弗洛伊德的侄子从休斯顿向北搬家时，他经常去看望他。

“It breaks my heart to know that happened to one of mine,” he said.

“知道我的一个人发生了这样的事，我很伤心，”他说。

“And I just…

“而我只是……

I cannot stop.”

我无法停下来。”

So here we explore Jones's role as a father figure, alongside the stories of five biological fathers of police-brutality victims—men who have persisted in the face of harrowing loss, fueled in part by memories of the times that were.

因此，在这里，我们探讨了琼斯作为父亲的角色，以及警察暴力受害者的五位亲生父亲的故事，这些人在面对痛苦的损失时仍然坚持不懈，部分原因是对当时时代的记忆。

The Reverend Joey Crutcher smiled as he reminisced about singing gospel in church with his son Terence.

乔伊·克拉彻牧师回忆起与儿子特伦斯在教堂唱福音的情景时微笑着。

“You always wanted the best in your choir,” Reverend Crutcher told me.

“你总是希望你的唱诗班是最好的，”克拉彻牧师告诉我。

“So I just nurtured him into being a great male soloist.” Terence was unarmed when a police officer in Tulsa killed him in 2016, at age 40.

“所以我只是把他培养成一名伟大的男独奏家。” 2016 年，特伦斯 (Terence) 被塔尔萨 (Tulsa) 一名警察杀害，时年 40 岁，当时他手无寸铁。

Larry Barbine, a maintenance man who has survived three open-heart surgeries, regained his health just in time to meet the 26-year-old son he'd never known, Rayshard Brooks, who had come from Atlanta to Toledo to see him.

拉里·巴宾 (Larry Barbine) 是一名维修工，在经历了 3 次心脏直视手术后幸存下来，恢复健康后正好见到了他从未认识的 26 岁儿子雷沙德·布鲁克斯 (Rayshard Brooks)，后者从亚特兰大来到托莱多看望他。

Soon they were living together, and their love was as intense and youthful as it was short.

很快他们就住在一起了，他们的爱情既热烈又青春，又短暂。

“I felt that he was still a little kid at heart,” Barbine said.

“我觉得他内心还是个小孩子，”巴宾说。

They had known each other for just 14 months when an Atlanta police officer shot and killed Brooks in a Wendy's parking lot in June; protesters would burn down the restaurant one night later.

6 月份，一名亚特兰大警察在 Wendy's 停车场开枪打死了布鲁克斯，两人才认识了 14 个月。一天晚上后，抗议者烧毁了这家餐厅。

Joe Louis Cole, whose son Daniel Prude was killed in March by police in Rochester, New York, thinks about the two years when he and his son lived together in Atlanta, working side by side at a UPS warehouse.

乔·路易斯·科尔 (Joe Louis Cole) 的儿子丹尼尔·普鲁德 (Daniel Prude) 三月份在纽约罗切斯特被警察杀害，他回忆起他和儿子一起生活在亚特兰大、在 UPS 仓库并肩工作的两年。

“The old man and the young guy,” Cole recalled.

“老人和年轻人，”科尔回忆道。

The son of Jacob Blake III, who shares his name, still lives.

雅各布·布莱克三世的儿子（与他同名）仍然活着。

The younger Blake was paralyzed after a police officer in Kenosha, Wisconsin, shot him seven times in the back.

威斯康星州基诺沙的一名警察向小布莱克背部开了七枪，导致小布莱克瘫痪。

So the elder Blake's sacrifice is different.

所以老布莱克的牺牲是不同的。

“My option,” he said, “was to stand for my son that cannot stand.”

“我的选择，”他说，“是支持我无法忍受的儿子。”

Michael Brown Sr. often reflects on the promise he made when his son was born—that he would never let tragedy befall his namesake.

老迈克尔·布朗经常反思他在儿子出生时做出的承诺——他永远不会让悲剧降临在他的同名儿子身上。

In the six years since Michael Brown Jr. was shot and killed by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri, Brown senior has emerged as a kind of patriarch for all grieving parents.

自从小迈克尔·布朗在密苏里州弗格森被一名警察枪杀以来的六年里，老布朗已经成为所有悲伤父母的家长。

Giving speeches around the country, running a foundation for families who have lost loved ones to police and community violence, traveling to memorials for Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, he is driven by the belief that he has been called on to prevent more bloodshed however he can.

他在全国各地发表演讲，为因警察和社区暴力而失去亲人的家庭设立基金会，前往布雷娜·泰勒和乔治·弗洛伊德的纪念馆，他坚信自己被要求尽其所能防止更多流血事件的发生。

Each of these men, like all Black father figures, fights against the still pervasive stereotype of the absent Black father.

这些人中的每一个，就像所有黑人父亲形象一样，都在与仍然普遍存在的缺席黑人父亲的刻板印象作斗争。

It's a notion that gained currency in the 1960s as the political advancements of the civil rights movement failed to translate into economic and social progress for everyday Black Americans, and social science research turned away from structural explanations for inequality toward a search for behavioral causes.

这一概念在 20 世纪 60 年代流行起来，当时民权运动的政治进步未能转化为普通美国黑人的经济和社会进步，社会科学研究也从对不平等的结构性解释转向寻找行为原因。

In 1965, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, then an assistant secretary of labor, delivered a report to the Johnson White House, The Negro Family: The Case for National Action, arguing that the plight of Black American communities was in decline due to a simple factor: the crumbling of the family unit and, in particular, children being raised in fatherless homes.

1965年，时任劳工部助理部长的丹尼尔·帕特里克·莫伊尼汉向约翰逊白宫提交了一份报告《黑人家庭：国家行动的理由》，认为美国黑人社区的困境之所以恶化，原因很简单：家庭单位的崩溃，特别是在没有父亲的家庭中长大的孩子。

Just weeks after the study's release, riots broke out across the Watts neighborhood in Los Angeles and critics latched onto the report to blame the ensuing violence on what Moynihan called “the deterioration of the Negro family.” The number of fatherless families, Black and otherwise, would rapidly grow in the following decades—a trend partly driven by the nation's primary welfare program, in which for a period some states considered families ineligible for benefits if an adult male was a member of the household.

该研究发布几周后，洛杉矶瓦茨社区爆发了骚乱，批评者抓住该报告，将随后发生的暴力事件归咎于莫伊尼汉所说的“黑人家庭的恶化”。在接下来的几十年里，无父家庭的数量，无论是黑人家庭还是其他家庭，都将迅速增长——这一趋势部分是由国家的基本福利计划推动的，在该计划中，一些州在一段时间内认为，如果家庭中有成年男性，家庭就没有资格享受福利。

The legacy of that policy and Moynihan's report continues, and the notion of troubled, fatherless Black men has resurfaced after each national reckoning with racial injustice, including in the aftermath of George Floyd's killing.

这项政策和莫伊尼汉的报告的遗产仍在继续，在每次全国性反思种族不平等之后，包括在乔治·弗洛伊德被杀之后，陷入困境、失去父亲的黑人的概念又重新浮出水面。

In August conservative commentator Larry Elder, in an op-ed for Fox News, wrote of the unrest in Minneapolis and around the country: “Many of the protesters decry income and net worth ‘inequality.’ But the most serious ‘inequality’ is the unequal percentage of fathers in Black households.”

八月，保守派评论员拉里·埃尔德在福克斯新闻的一篇专栏文章中谈到了明尼阿波利斯和全国各地的骚乱：“许多抗议者谴责收入和净资产‘不平等’。但最严重的‘不平等’是黑人家庭中父亲比例的不平等。”

Such sentiments mostly assign blame to Black men and serve to deny the headwinds they face as they advance toward self-fulfillment in the United States—gusts that sweep a disproportionate number into jails and prisons, into ghettos, into the criminal justice morass, or off the face of the earth altogether.

这种情绪大多将责任归咎于黑人，并否认他们在美国迈向自我实现时所面临的逆风——狂风将不成比例的人数卷入监狱、贫民窟、刑事司法泥沼，甚至彻底从地球上消失。

These myths obscure the deep and enduring roles these Black fathers and sons played and continue to play in each other's lives.

这些神话掩盖了这些黑人父子在彼此的生活中所扮演和继续扮演的深刻而持久的角色。

There is a bond there, among Black men surviving in the United States, which crosses generations and even the boundaries between life and death.

在美国幸存的黑人之间存在着一种跨越代际甚至生与死界限的纽带。

If those bonds weren't convincing enough, a 2013 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that among fathers living with children under the age of five, Black fathers were more likely than Hispanic and white fathers to have bathed, dressed, diapered, or helped their children use the toilet every day, and that among fathers who live with their children, a greater percentage of Black fathers than white fathers took their children to or from daily activities and assisted their kids with homework.

如果这些联系还不够令人信服的话，美国疾病控制与预防中心 2013 年的一项研究发现，在与 5 岁以下孩子生活在一起的父亲中，黑人父亲比西班牙裔和白人父亲更有可能每天给孩子洗澡、穿衣服、换尿布或帮助孩子上厕所，而且在与孩子住在一起的父亲中，黑人父亲比白人父亲更多地接送孩子参加日常活动并辅导孩子做家庭作业。

It's true that such data coexists with other, more sobering statistics: More than half of all Black children live in homes headed by one parent, and Black children are more likely than white and Hispanic children to be born to unwed parents.

确实，这些数据与其他更发人深省的统计数据并存：超过一半的黑人儿童生活在父母一方为户主的家庭中，黑人儿童比白人和西班牙裔儿童更有可能由未婚父母所生。

But most Black Americans are aware of the myriad factors shaping these demographics.

但大多数美国黑人都意识到影响这些人口统计数据的众多因素。

I'm reminded of something the late Toni Morrison said in an interview, about Ralph Ellison's great novel Invisible Man, which distilled the Black urban experience for 1950s America.

我想起已故的托妮·莫里森 (Toni Morrison) 在一次采访中谈到拉尔夫·埃里森 (Ralph Ellison) 的伟大小说《隐形人》(Invisible Man) 时所说的话，该小说浓缩了 20 世纪 50 年代美国黑人的城市经历。

“The title of Ralph Ellison's book was Invisible Man, ” Morrison said.

“拉尔夫·埃里森的书的标题是《隐形人》，”莫里森说。

“And the question for me was ‘Invisible to whom?’ Not to me.” Not to these men, either.

“对我来说，问题是‘对谁来说是隐形的？’对我来说不是。”对这些人来说也不是。

They already see one another.

他们已经见过彼此了。

So we asked them to tell us what they know: Joe Louis Cole, Larry Barbine, Rev.

所以我们请他们告诉我们他们所知道的：Joe Louis Cole、Larry Barbine、Rev.

Joey Crutcher, Selwyn Jones, Jacob Blake III, and Michael Brown Sr. What a strange experience they share.

乔伊·克拉彻、塞尔温·琼斯、雅各布·布莱克三世和老迈克尔·布朗。他们分享了多么奇怪的经历。

Their lives were transformed by the worst kind of news, a blow that left everything that followed so suddenly and painfully different.

他们的生活被最糟糕的消息改变了，这一打击让接下来的一切突然而痛苦地发生了变化。

Not only have they suffered the abrupt and traumatic loss of their loved ones, but often just hours after being stunned by tragedy, they grieve before news cameras.

他们不仅遭受了突然失去亲人的痛苦，而且往往在悲剧发生几个小时后，他们就在新闻镜头前感到悲伤。

They are transformed from ordinary people into symbols of this country's injustice, symbols onto which so much meaning other than their own is projected.

他们从普通人变成了这个国家不公正的象征，这些象征上投射了许多不同于他们自己的意义。

How easily could that parent have been me, grieving my child, the thinking goes.

我想，那个父母怎么可能是我，让我的孩子悲伤呢？

And yet these fathers endure such moments in uneasy juxtaposition with the mythical assumption that they don't even exist.

然而，这些父亲们在忍受这样的时刻时，总是不安地与他们甚至不存在的神话假设并置。

A father losing a son upsets a belief in inexorable progress, the American idea that children will fare better than their parents.

失去儿子的父亲颠覆了对不可阻挡的进步的信念，即美国人认为孩子会比父母过得更好。

Who is to blame for upsetting this natural order?

谁应该为破坏这种自然秩序负责？

This is the question that nags at these fathers.

这是困扰这些父亲的问题。

Was it something as small as a few words left unsaid or a deed not done?

是否是一些小事，如未说的几句话或未做的事？

Or something as big as the history of state-sponsored violence against Black people?

或者像国家支持的针对黑人的暴力历史这样重大的事情？

Was it an outside force or an inside darkness that was passed from father to son?

是外部力量还是内在的黑暗从父亲传给了儿子？

With time comes the realization that they will likely be saved not by anger and hardness but, rather, by an understanding of their own pain, of their feelings.

随着时间的推移，人们意识到，他们的得救可能不是因为愤怒和冷酷，而是因为了解自己的痛苦和感受。

Tides of emotion overwhelm their attempts at masculine reserve.

情绪的浪潮压倒了他们试图表现出的男子气概。

In order for these men to survive, they must find tenderness, and they must do it while the world is watching.

为了让这些人生存，他们必须找到温柔，而且必须在全世界的注视下做到这一点。

And suddenly there is an expectation that they emote with fluency.

突然间，人们期望他们能够流畅地表达情感。

“Everybody wants to know how you feel,” Reverend Crutcher said.

“每个人都想知道你的感受，”克拉彻牧师说。

“I'm hurt.

“我受伤了。

Still hurt.”

还是受伤了。”

Even when these men are not in physical contact with other grieving fathers, they maintain an awareness of one another, through the media, through lawyers, through movement groups, that in some small but important way legitimizes their own experience.

即使这些人没有与其他悲伤的父亲进行身体接触，他们也会通过媒体、律师、运动团体保持对彼此的认识，这以某种微小但重要的方式使他们自己的经历合法化。

I am not alone.

我并不孤单。

My experience is real and valid .

我的经历是真实有效的。

As I was trying to figure out what I wanted to learn from these men, some of whom have watched their sons die on video—videos that I cannot bring myself to watch—I texted my own father to ask what he would want to know.

当我试图弄清楚我想从这些人身上学到什么时，他们中的一些人在视频中亲眼目睹了自己儿子的死亡——这些视频是我无法观看的——我给自己的父亲发短信，询问他想知道什么。

His answer came quickly: “Did he have the talk with his son?

他的回答很快就来了：“他和儿子谈过了吗？

Does he think that prior to this moment his son understood what he faced in the street from day to day?” The men were so open with me in their responses, and I wonder now if it was because of a common experience that even I share, with them and with my own father, not so much in our daily lives but in the ways we're often perceived.

他是否认为在这一刻之前，他的儿子了解他每天在街上面临的情况？”这些人的反应对我如此开放，我现在想知道这是否是因为我与他们和我自己的父亲都有共同的经历，不是在我们的日常生活中，而是在我们经常被感知的方式中。

A quick bond was forged in each conversation, like a passing nod on the street—a fleeting but unmistakable acknowledgment of a loose brotherhood.

每次谈话中都迅速建立了联系，就像在街上点头示意一样——短暂但明确无误地承认了松散的兄弟情谊。

Despite everything else, it felt very good.

尽管有其他一切，但感觉非常好。

Here we elevate these men for doing what we perhaps could not do, for continuing to push for the truth.

在这里，我们赞扬这些人做了我们可能做不到的事情，因为他们继续推动真理。

So few of them have gotten the justice they seek in their own sons' cases, and yet they persist.

他们中很少有人在自己儿子的案件中得到了他们所寻求的正义，但他们仍然坚持不懈。

“We've been living with normal,” Jones told me.

“我们一直过着正常的生活，”琼斯告诉我。

“It's been 400 years.

“已经400年了。

So I just have it in my brain, in my heart and my soul, that we got to make things not normal and make changes.

所以我的大脑、内心和灵魂都坚信，我们必须让事情变得不正常并做出改变。

And I'm not giving up.”

而且我不会放弃。”

Selwyn Jones Uncle of George Floyd, Gettysburg, South Dakota A robust, gregarious man who once played pro arena football, Jones became a kind of father figure to the children of his sister Larcenia Floyd, especially to George, an exemplary athlete himself.

塞尔文·琼斯 (Selwyn Jones) 乔治·弗洛伊德 (George Floyd) 的叔叔，南达科他州葛底斯堡 琼斯是一位健壮、善于交际的男子，曾参加过职业橄榄球比赛，对他妹妹拉塞尼娅·弗洛伊德 (Larcenia Floyd) 的孩子们来说，尤其是对乔治 (George) 来说，他就像父亲一样，他本身就是一位模范运动员。

After Floyd was killed in May when Derek Chauvin, a white Minneapolis police officer, knelt on his neck for more than eight minutes, Jones decided to take a stand.

五月份，明尼阿波利斯白人警察德里克·肖万跪在弗洛伊德脖子上超过八分钟，导致弗洛伊德被杀后，琼斯决定表明立场。

Now the owner of a motel in Gettysburg, South Dakota, he demanded the local police department remove its insignia, which included the Confederate flag, and it did, and he has continued to fight for racial justice in Floyd's name.

现在，他是南达科他州葛底斯堡一家汽车旅馆的老板，他要求当地警察部门移除其徽章，其中包括南方联盟旗帜，他确实这样做了，并且他继续以弗洛伊德的名义为种族正义而战。

“A big change has been done by my nephew's passing,” he says.

“我侄子的去世带来了巨大的变化，”他说。

“And it's up to me to keep it going.”

“而我要让它继续下去。”

I think one of the worst things in the world is when he's looking back and he's got that petrified look on his face, not knowing that he wouldn't be here 15 minutes later.

我认为世界上最糟糕的事情之一就是当他回头看时，他脸上露出惊愕的表情，不知道 15 分钟后他就不会在这里了。

Imagine being scared.

想象一下害怕的样子。

Imagine being held down, where there's nothing you can do but just take it.

想象一下，你被压制住了，除了承受，你无能为力。

When I first saw it, I'm like, “Oh, my God—they're going to kill this dude.

当我第一次看到它时，我想，“哦，天哪——他们要杀了这个家伙。

Man, why don't somebody help him?” One of my sisters called me and tells me it's my nephew.

伙计，为什么没人来帮助他呢？”我的一位姐妹打电话给我，告诉我这是我的侄子。

And I haven't watched the video since then.

从那以后我就再没有看过那个视频。

Everybody has had trials and tribulations.

每个人都经历过考验和磨难。

Fortunately, most people didn't have the ones that he had.

幸运的是，大多数人都没有他所拥有的。

Because of the economic place that my sister was in—three babies, no husband—they were always moving.

由于我姐姐的经济地位——三个孩子，没有丈夫——他们总是搬家。

She moved to Houston, and they lived in Third Ward.

她搬到了休斯顿，他们住在第三区。

This is like New York City used to be back in the day.

这就像纽约市曾经回到过去一样。

If you've got a nice car and you're driving down Third Ward, you see somebody walking at the stop sign, you don't stop, because they're about to rob your ass.

如果你有一辆好车，沿着第三区行驶，你看到有人在停车标志前行走，你不会停下来，因为他们要抢你的屁股。

And these are environments that George had to grow up in, but he adapted, because he was a ghetto superstar, I would call it.

乔治必须在这些环境中长大，但他适应了，因为我称之为贫民窟超级明星。

I would go to Houston, and we had sports.

我会去休斯顿，我们有体育活动。

He played basketball and football.

他打篮球和踢足球。

I was the catalyst that pushed everybody to be good because I was a bad dude back in the day.

我是推动每个人变得优秀的催化剂，因为我当时是个坏人。

But he listened to a bunch of idiots who said, “Hey, man, you don't have to go to college to play pro ball.

但他听到一群白痴说：“嘿，伙计，你不必上大学才能打职业球。

You'll get drafted.” Well, if you don't take the correct steps to move forward in any kind of endeavor, you get pushed to the side.

你会被征召入伍的。”好吧，如果你不采取正确的步骤在任何努力中前进，你就会被推到一边。

So he wasn't Big Floyd the basketball player no more.

所以他不再是篮球运动员大弗洛伊德了。

He was Big Floyd in the hood now.

他现在是大弗洛伊德了。

So I talked to his ass, often: “Yo, man, you know you need to get your butt right.” And he got himself in situations that he shouldn't have.

所以我经常对他的屁股说：“哟，伙计，你知道你需要把你的屁股摆正。”而他却让自己陷入了不该陷入的境地。

He paid for them.

他为他们付了钱。

Five years ago, he had an opportunity to come to Minneapolis.

五年前，他有机会来到明尼阿波利斯。

They had a rehab program up there.

他们在那里有一个康复计划。

If you have a demon, that demon will catch up with you anywhere you go.

如果你有恶魔，无论你走到哪里，那个恶魔都会追上你。

But for most people, the demon is easier if you're not around familiar situations.

但对于大多数人来说，如果你不在熟悉的环境中，恶魔就会更容易被驱除。

So he decided to go to Minneapolis, and he got two jobs, working at the Salvation Army, doing a lot of things right.

所以他决定去明尼阿波利斯，他找到了两份工作，在救世军工作，做了很多正确的事情。

And then my sister died.

然后我姐姐死了。

That broke him up.

这让他心碎了。

I go down to my sister's funeral, and I'm in the church house, and he shows up 30 minutes late for his mama's funeral.

我去参加我姐姐的葬礼，我在教堂里，他在他妈妈的葬礼上迟到了 30 分钟。

I meet his ass coming in the door.

我看见他的屁股进门了。

Me and him have a discussion.

我和他有一个讨论。

This isn't the way that you were raised.

这不是你长大的方式。

This isn't the way you show respect to the person that you loved the most.

这不是对你最爱的人表示尊重的方式。

You need to get your mind right and get back to Minneapolis and get away from Houston.

你需要调整好心态，回到明尼阿波利斯，远离休斯顿。

And he came back to Minneapolis, and he started driving trucks.

他回到明尼阿波利斯，开始开卡车。

He started doing good things.

他开始做好事。

Imagine your birthday was three days before he was killed.

想象一下你的生日是他被杀的三天前。

He texted me “Happy birthday.” And because you're so busy, you don't even look at texts.

他给我发短信“生日快乐”。因为你太忙了，你甚至不看短信。

And damn, he's dead, murdered.

该死的，他死了，被谋杀了。

I saw one of my favorite people beg, scream, holler, moan, cry, say please, call for his mama.

我看到我最喜欢的人之一乞求、尖叫、大喊、呻吟、哭泣、求求你、呼唤他的妈妈。

It breaks my heart to know that happened to one of mine.

得知我的一个朋友发生了这样的事，我很伤心。

Somebody had a bad day and it made my nephew have a bad life.

有人度过了糟糕的一天，这让我的侄子过上了糟糕的生活。

But I believe that because he was walking around on this earth, not fulfilling the potential and destiny that the Lord gave him, the Lord sacrificed him to say, “You are going to change the whole world.” And that's what he did.

但我相信，因为他在这个地球上行走，没有实现主赋予他的潜力和命运，所以主牺牲了他，说：“你将改变整个世界。”他就是这么做的。

You know, there hasn't been a civil rights movement like this, ever.

你知道，从来没有像这样的民权运动。

Before my nephew got murdered, I was a good dude.

在我侄子被谋杀之前，我是个好人。

I worked hard.

我努力工作。

Me and my wife renovated that motel by ourselves, and the day that he got buried, we had a comment come over the phone that says, “You are selling drugs to buy a motel.

我和我的妻子自己装修了那家汽车旅馆，他被埋葬的那天，我们在电话里收到一条评论说：“你在卖毒品买汽车旅馆。

Why don't you stop living off your nephew's coattails?” People said that I should go back to Africa, that this wasn't my community.

你为什么不再靠你侄子的好处过活呢？”人们说我应该回到非洲，因为这不是我的社区。

Stuff like this is what I got to deal with.

像这样的事情就是我必须处理的。

I have a four- and a seven-year-old.

我有一个四岁和一个七岁的孩子。

So at 54, I got to battle a little bit.

所以在 54 岁的时候，我必须进行一些战斗。

I just want to make sure that my little baby don't have the same kind of life that I had to live because of racism and the color of my skin.

我只是想确保我的小宝贝不会因为种族主义和我的肤色而过上我不得不过的生活。

And I'm not giving up.

我不会放弃。

Uncle Selwyn ain't going to let his nephew go out like that.

塞尔温叔叔不会让他的侄子就这样出去。

'Cause when you come from nothing, like we did, all we know how to do is get it, man.

因为当你像我们一样白手起家时，我们所知道的就是得到它，伙计。

I got a lot of work to do.

我有很多工作要做。

As long as people can see my ugly face and hear my scraggly voice, that means that somebody's listening, that means I have an opportunity to make a change.

只要人们能看到我丑陋的脸，听到我沙哑的声音，就说明有人在听，就说明我有机会做出改变。

Larry Barbine Father of Rayshard Brooks, Toledo Two years before Rayshard Brooks, a 27-year-old Black man, was shot and killed by a white Atlanta police officer outside a Wendy's in June, he traveled to Toledo to meet his father, Larry Barbine, for the first time.

拉里·巴宾 (Larry Barbine) 雷沙德·布鲁克斯 (Rayshard Brooks) 的父亲，托莱多 6 月，27 岁的黑人雷沙德·布鲁克斯 (Rayshard Brooks) 在温迪店外被亚特兰大白人警察开枪打死，两年前，他第一次前往托莱多见到了他的父亲拉里·巴宾 (Larry Barbine)。

“It was just a shock to both of us that we looked so much alike,” Barbine recalls.

“我们看起来如此相似，这让我们俩都感到震惊，”巴宾回忆道。

“We just stood there and looked at each other; then we grabbed and hugged each other and we both just wept some tears.”

“我们只是站在那里，互相看着对方；然后我们互相抓住、拥抱，我们都哭了。”

Before he got back into my life, I was a very sick person for about 10 years.

在他回到我的生活之前，我已经病得很重大约十年了。

I was put on a heart-transplant list for two years.

我被列入心脏移植名单两年了。

And after having three operations, I had two artificial hearts and then I was donated a regular heart.

经过三次手术后，我有了两颗人造心脏，然后又捐献了一颗普通心脏。

I spent months in the hospital on my back.

我在医院里躺了几个月。

I was in the hospital for four months and I lost track of everything.

我在医院住了四个月，我失去了一切。

I mean, I didn't know I was alive, other than being there.

我的意思是，我不知道自己还活着，除了在那里。

We only knew each other for that short time.

我们认识的时间只有那么短。

I felt he was still a little kid at heart.

我感觉他内心还是个小孩子。

He'd be like, “Come on, Pop.

他会说，“来吧，爸爸。

Let's do this, that, the other.” I'm like, “Man, you know I can't keep up with you.” And he like, “Well, do the best you can.” He was always in a joyful, playful mood with me.

让我们做这个、那个、另一个。”我说，“伙计，你知道我跟不上你。”他喜欢说：“好吧，尽你所能。”他总是以一种快乐、顽皮的心情和我在一起。

I had big hopes, especially after I seen that he was doing the same things that I grew up doing, home maintenance.

我抱有很大的希望，尤其是当我看到他正在做我从小到大做的同样的事情——家庭维护。

I was head maintenance over different apartment complexes, a little heating and air-conditioning, carpentry work.

我担任不同公寓大楼的维护主管，负责一些供暖和空调工作，还负责木工工作。

I still do odd jobs.

我依然做着零工。

So he was proud to hear that, and he actually started going to my doctor's appointments with me.

所以他听到这个消息很自豪，而且他实际上开始和我一起去看医生。

And I was like, “Man, you ain't got to do all this.” “Pop, I want to be there because I haven't been there for you and I appreciate you reaching out to me.” And I apologized to him for not being in his life.

我当时想，“伙计，你不必做这一切。” “爸爸，我想去那里，因为我没有在你身边，我很感激你向我伸出援手。”我为没有出现在他的生活中而向他道歉。

We had hopes.

我们有希望。

We had the rest of his life, my life of him helping me.

我们度过了他的余生，我的一生都是他帮助我的。

I'm like, “I don't need any help.

我想，“我不需要任何帮助。

I'd like to see you and your family come up here and enjoy it and not have to be running all them miles down there getting from point A to point B.”

我希望看到你和你的家人来到这里享受它，而不必跑几英里从 A 点到 B 点。”

He wanted to do carpentry work, and he was venturing into other things.

他想做木工工作，并且正在尝试其他事情。

He was working day and night, different jobs.

他夜以继日地工作，从事不同的工作。

At that time he didn't have a way of getting around, and he was doing a lot of stuff in Michigan, so I would drive him to Michigan, just spend the day up there while he worked.

那时他没有办法出行，而且他在密歇根州做很多事情，所以我会开车送他去密歇根州，在他工作的时候在那里待上一天。

I tried to stop watching the news, because I knew it wasn't bringing him back.

我试图停止看新闻，因为我知道这不会让他回来。

I felt that the reason he ran is because he didn't want to break his daughters' hearts.

我觉得他之所以逃跑，是因为他不想伤女儿们的心。

I'm going to jail again, here I go again.

我又要进监狱了，我又来了。

I promised my daughters.

我答应过我的女儿们。

He had it hard as far as the times that he was incarcerated and got out of jail, and not being able to get around to where he needed to go to apply for jobs.

自从他被监禁和出狱以来，他一直过得很艰难，而且无法抽出时间去他需要去的地方申请工作。

A city of that magnitude, they need mentors to help them out when they be released from jail, because they don't have the means of getting around.

这么大的城市，他们出狱后需要导师来帮助他们，因为他们没有办法四处走动。

They'll give them a bus token, but shoot, down there, a bus token ain't doing too much.

他们会给他们一个公共汽车代币，但是，在那里，公共汽车代币并没有多大作用。

That's too big for a bus token down there.

对于下面的公交车令牌来说太大了。

He is going to be greatly missed, because he just wanted to bring his family back up here to live.

人们将会非常想念他，因为他只是想把他的家人带回这里生活。

He went sledding for the first time here.

他第一次在这里滑雪橇。

He'd never seen snow, and at that time, there was snow on the ground.

他从来没有见过雪，那时候，地上都是雪。

I couldn't get him to sleep.

我无法让他入睡。

We was up day and night just enjoying each other.

我们日夜不眠，只是互相享受。

He didn't offer anything about what he'd been through, and I really didn't want to hear it, because I didn't want him to bring up nothing in the past at all.

他没有透露任何关于他所经历的事情，我真的不想听，因为我根本不想让他提起过去的任何事情。

Joe Louis Cole Father of Daniel Prude, Tampa On the evening of March 22, 2020, 41-year-old Daniel Prude called his father, Joe Louis Cole, to say he'd made it from Chicago to Rochester, where he was visiting his elder brother Joe.

乔·路易斯·科尔 (Joe Louis Cole) 丹尼尔·普鲁德 (Daniel Prude) 的父亲，坦帕 2020 年 3 月 22 日晚上，41 岁的丹尼尔·普鲁德 (Daniel Prude) 打电话给他的父亲乔·路易斯·科尔 (Joe Louis Cole)，说他已从芝加哥抵达罗切斯特，在那里看望他的哥哥乔 (Joe)。

The second call Cole would receive, early the next morning, was from Joe—Daniel was undergoing a mental-health episode and had run into the night wearing only long johns and a tank top.

第二天一早，科尔接到的第二个电话是乔打来的——丹尼尔正在经历心理健康问题，晚上只穿着秋裤和背心。

Cole told Joe to call the police.

科尔让乔报警。

After locating Prude, Rochester police handcuffed him, covered his head in a spit hood, and held his body against the pavement.

罗切斯特警方找到普鲁德后，给他戴上手铐，用头罩盖住他的头，并将他的身体抵在人行道上。

He was taken to a hospital and declared dead a week later—a death the autopsy ruled a homicide.

他被送往医院，一周后被宣布死亡——尸检判定为他杀。

As of late October, an investigation by the New York State attorney general's office was still ongoing.

截至10月下旬，纽约州总检察长办公室的调查仍在进行中。

Cole says he will never again tell his family to depend on law enforcement.

科尔表示，他再也不会告诉家人要依靠执法部门。

“That's just like telling them to jump into the lion cage,” he says.

“这就像告诉他们跳进狮子笼一样，”他说。

“And that's sad.

“这很悲伤。

It's real sad.”

真的很难过。”

He was born on my birthday.

他出生在我生日那天。

Yeah, my birthday present.

是的，我的生日礼物。

We was talking about getting together for his birthday.

我们正在谈论聚在一起庆祝他的生日。

Having a party or a barbecue.

举办聚会或烧烤。

In my last conversation with him, I told him, “Do what you got to do, get your stuff together, you and your brother.

在我与他的最后一次谈话中，我告诉他：“做你必须做的事情，收拾好你的东西，你和你的兄弟。

Now y'all can finally have a bond type of relationship with one another.”

现在你们终于可以彼此建立一种纽带类型的关系了。”

My plan was for him and his brother to stop here in Florida and get me.

我的计划是让他和他的兄弟在佛罗里达停下来接我。

I was going to go and stay with my oldest son for a while, while Daniel was up there with him.

我打算去和我的大儿子呆一会儿，而丹尼尔则和他在一起。

But that never got a chance to happen.

但这从来没有机会发生。

I've lost three sons: my baby boy, my second-oldest, and Daniel, my third-oldest.

我失去了三个儿子：我的第二个儿子和第三个儿子丹尼尔。

Every time I looked up, I said to myself, “Not me again.

每次我抬起头来，我都对自己说：“又不是我了。

Not me again.

又不是我了。

Why me?”

为什么是我？

The police are supposed to have better training.

警察应该接受更好的培训。

My son, he was out there, having a meltdown or whatever you want to call it.

我的儿子，他在外面，经历了崩溃或者无论你怎么称呼它。

Get him some help.

给他一些帮助。

Don't make him sit on no ground like that.

别让他坐在那样的地上。

And he was out there in the freezing rain, in the cold.

他在冰冷的雨中，在寒冷中。

I said to myself, “You don't treat no human like that.

我对自己说：“你不会那样对待任何人。

You don't do that.

你不这样做。

Especially if you're supposed to be law enforcement.”

尤其是如果你应该是执法人员的话。”

The training that I seen was to laugh, make jokes, criticize what done happen to him, instead of trying to say, “Okay, Mr. Prude…just calm down.

我看到的训练是大笑、开玩笑、批评发生在他身上的事情，而不是试图说：“好吧，普鲁德先生……冷静点。

We're going to get you help, fast as we can.” No, you're going to make him sit down, nude, in the freezing rain.

我们将尽快为您提供帮助。”不，你要让他赤身裸体地坐在冰冷的雨中。

It was sleet weather.

当时是雨夹雪天气。

The rain turned into snow.

雨变成了雪。

And that hurt me.

这伤害了我。

Y'all supposed to serve and protect.

你们都应该服务和保护。

Y'all not serving, y'all not protecting.

你们都没有服务，你们都没有保护。

They ain't doing nothing but criticizing and cracking jokes.

他们除了批评和开玩笑之外什么也不做。

I would say that wasn't cool at all.

我想说那一点也不酷。

That was kind of fucked up to me.

这对我来说有点操蛋。

When that happened, I didn't know if I was going or coming.

当那件事发生时，我不知道我是走还是来。

I almost lost it.

我差点就失去了它。

I had just had a stroke.

我刚刚中风。

My oldest son, we started having a conversation every day.

我的大儿子，我们开始每天交谈。

Almost every two hours he called me.

几乎每两个小时他就给我打电话。

We bonded even tighter than we was, even though we was far off from each other.

尽管我们相距遥远，但我们的联系比以前更加紧密。

He was really trying to make sure I was all right.

他真的很想确保我没事。

I've got two sisters here.

我这里有两个姐妹。

One sister, she got seven kids of her own.

其中一位姐姐，她自己有七个孩子。

She got 21 grandkids.

她有21个孙子。

My other sister, she got nine kids of her own.

我的另一个姐姐，她有自己的九个孩子。

I got a whole slew of nieces and nephews.

我有很多侄女和侄子。

And they basically check on me every day.

他们基本上每天都会检查我。

What's really been keeping me going is my family.

真正让我坚持下去的是我的家人。

I'm just now starting to get my strength back, where I can almost be independent again.

我现在刚刚开始恢复体力，几乎可以再次独立了。

I go out, communicate with people a lot more.

我出去，与人交流更多。

And stay in tune with my kids, have a relationship with my grandkids and my great-grandkids.

与我的孩子们保持一致，与我的孙子和曾孙保持良好的关系。

Everything that I missed with Daniel, I'm trying to make it up with his kids.

我与丹尼尔错过的一切，我正在努力与他的孩子们弥补。

I still see him in his kids, and they give me motivation and strength.

我仍然在他的孩子们身上看到了他的影子，他们给了我动力和力量。

The Reverend Joey Crutcher Father of Terence Crutcher, Tulsa On the evening of September 16, 2016, Terence Crutcher, a 40-year-old Black man, abandoned his SUV in the middle of a Tulsa street.

乔伊·克拉彻 (Joey Crutcher) 牧师 特伦斯·克拉彻 (Terence Crutcher) 的父亲，塔尔萨 2016 年 9 月 16 日晚，40 岁的黑人男子特伦斯·克拉彻 (Terence Crutcher) 将他的 SUV 遗弃在塔尔萨街道中央。

In an ensuing encounter with police, Crutcher held his arms in the air as officers approached him; when he returned to his vehicle and appeared to reach into his driver-side window, a white officer shot and killed him.

在随后与警察的遭遇中，当警察走近时，克拉彻高举双臂。当他回到车上并似乎把手伸进驾驶座一侧的窗户时，一名白人警官开枪打死了他。

Crutcher was unarmed and had no weapon in the vehicle.

克拉彻手无寸铁，车内也没有武器。

In May 2017, a jury found the officer not guilty of first-degree manslaughter.

2017 年 5 月，陪审团裁定该警官一级过失杀人罪不成立。

The victim's father, Rev.

受害人的父亲，牧师。

Joey Crutcher, maintains that what happened to his son was murder.

乔伊·克拉彻坚称，发生在他儿子身上的事情是谋杀。

“It's been a rough ride, man,” he says, later noting that there is no escaping the memory.

“这真是一段艰难的旅程，伙计，”他说道，后来指出，这段记忆是无法逃避的。

“I get up and think about it every day of my life.”

“我每天起床都会思考这个问题。”

You begin to become an expert at dealing with the tragedy.

你开始成为处理悲剧的专家。

The first year, it was really awful.

第一年，真的很糟糕。

But in the last three years, I've come to understand a lot of things.

但这三年来，我明白了很多事情。

It should be a one-in-a-million chance that you would lose your child to a police shooting, and I find myself being one of those people.

您因警察枪击而失去孩子的可能性应该是百万分之一，而我发现自己就是其中之一。

But I'm just looking at all of the rest of the fathers, and I know what they're thinking.

但我只是看看其他所有的父亲，我知道他们在想什么。

I'm writing my memoirs right now.

我现在正在写我的回忆录。

I wrote a chapter on my oldest son, who died of colon cancer.

我写了一章关于我的大儿子，他死于结肠癌。

And I wrote about my second son, who lived to be only three months old.

我写了我的第二个儿子，他只活了三个月大。

He died from crib death.

他死于婴儿床死亡。

And I'm on Terence's chapter.

我正在写特伦斯的章节。

I don't know what I'm going to call it, but it's Terence.

我不知道该叫它什么，但我叫特伦斯。

I'm getting ready to start writing about his birth.

我正准备开始写他的出生。

August the 16th, 1976.

1976 年 8 月 16 日。

He just turned 40 years old on August 16, 2016.

2016年8月16日，他刚刚满40岁。

And then he was dead a month later.

一个月后他就死了。

The first Sunday in September 2008, I lost my grandson.

2008年9月的第一个周日，我失去了我的孙子。

He was shot in a drive-by shooting, coming from church.

他在一次从教堂驾车经过的枪击事件中被枪杀。

His brother is paralyzed from the waist down.

他的兄弟腰部以下瘫痪。

So I've dealt with a lot as it relates to the males in my life, my sons especially.

所以我处理了很多与我生活中的男性有关的事情，尤其是我的儿子们。

I really can't make sense of it.

我实在是无法理解。

But then when I stop to think about all of these things, they deal with humans.

但当我停下来思考所有这些事情时，它们与人类打交道。

There's a human that kills, there's a human that gets killed.

有人杀人，有人被杀。

I'm kind of crazy into God.

我对上帝有点疯狂。

And with a lot of stuff like this, even the killing of my son, I always say, “All of this stuff is beneath me, because there's a higher power.” I quote the Scripture that says, “All things work together for good to them that love the Lord and who are called according to His purpose.”

对于很多这样的事情，甚至是我儿子被杀，我总是说，“所有这些事情都在我之下，因为有更高的力量。”我引用经上的话：“万事都互相效力，叫爱主和按他旨意被召的人得益处。”

Me and Terence, we had good times together.

我和特伦斯，我们一起度过了美好的时光。

I'm a musician.

我是一名音乐家。

My whole life is about singing gospel music.

我的一生就是唱福音音乐。

My mother got us into that.

我妈妈让我们这么做了。

So I always try to find out who in my family got this gift, and found out Terence had the gift.

所以我总是试图找出我家里的谁得到了这份礼物，并发现特伦斯拥有这份礼物。

Terence became the main soloist in my choir.

特伦斯成为我合唱团的主要独唱者。

If you ask, “What do you miss about Terence?” I miss one thing—me and him singing together, in the ministry and in church.

如果你问：“你想念特伦斯的什么？”我怀念一件事——我和他一起唱歌，在事工和教堂里。

When I lost him, I lost three fourths of my whole ministry, because he was that much of it.

当我失去他时，我就失去了整个事工的四分之三，因为他就是其中的一部分。

The George Floyd incident, it was just like those firecrackers that go up in the air.

乔治·弗洛伊德事件，就像空中的鞭炮一样。

All of the shootings, all of the families, it woke it back up again.

所有的枪击事件，所有的家庭，再次唤醒了它。

In our town, we had the “Terence Crutcher” signs up, to let the world remember that Terence got killed the same way.

在我们镇上，我们挂上了“特伦斯·克拉彻”的标语，让世界记住特伦斯也是以同样的方式被杀的。

And it was happening in all of the cities, to all of the fathers, all of the mothers.

这发生在所有的城市、所有的父亲、所有的母亲身上。

That's why the protest happened, simply because they were sick of it.

这就是抗议发生的原因，只是因为他们厌倦了。

My human body, I hurt.

我的人体，我受伤了。

I hurt every time I think about a police officer taking a gun out and shooting him.

每当我想到一名警察掏出枪向他开枪时，我就感到心痛。

I was always there for my children.

我一直在我的孩子们身边。

But that might not be good enough.

但这可能还不够好。

A lot of things that were on their minds I never did understand, because I never asked.

他们心里的很多想法我一直无法理解，因为我从来没有问过。

I didn't know how to ask.

我不知道怎么问。

I know it's a lot deeper than just going to basketball games, or getting new shoes, especially when you find out your oldest son is not taking care of his self physically.

我知道这比仅仅去看篮球比赛或买新鞋要深刻得多，尤其是当你发现你的大儿子不能照顾自己的身体时。

For those type of things I blame myself.

对于这类事情我责怪自己。

I think fathers should have talks with their young men about those things that plague males.

我认为父亲们应该与他们的年轻人讨论那些困扰男性的事情。

You figure that these are the golden years in your life, and you can do the things that you couldn't do when you were raising your kids.

你认为这是你人生中的黄金岁月，你可以做你在抚养孩子时做不到的事情。

You always know you want grandkids, but due to circumstances—Terence's death and the kids' mother not being able to care for them—we were awarded guardianship.

你总是知道你想要孙子，但由于特伦斯的去世和孩子的母亲无法照顾他们的情况，我们被授予监护权。

We're starting all over again now.

我们现在要重新开始。

They love their father.

他们爱他们的父亲。

The oldest girl, she was 16, I think, when he passed.

我想，当他去世时，最大的女孩已经 16 岁了。

The other one was about 10.

另一件大约是10个。

Little Terence was four years old, so he really didn't know what was going on.

小特伦斯已经四岁了，他真的不知道发生了什么事。

But they had to decide within themselves how they were going to be able to handle this.

但他们必须自己决定如何处理这个问题。

And this situation is something they're going to have to deal with the rest of their lives.

而这种情况是他们余生都必须面对的。

So we talk all the time.

所以我们一直在说话。

We try to create situations that help us feel better.

我们尝试创造让我们感觉更好的环境。

I left the house just a few minutes ago to come over here to do the interview, and Little Terence was up and he was ready to go, because he'd go with me everywhere I go.

几分钟前我离开家来这里接受采访，小特伦斯已经起床，他准备出发，因为无论我去哪里他都会跟着我。

But I didn't let him go this time.

但这次我没有放开他。

So he's mad now.

所以他现在很生气。

He'll probably be calling me soon, asking, “Where are you?” He's my running buddy, you see.

他可能很快就会打电话给我，问我：“你在哪里？”你看，他是我的跑步伙伴。

We run together every day.

我们每天都一起跑步。

Jacob Blake III Father of Jacob Blake, Chicago On August 23, in Kenosha, Wisconsin, Jacob Blake was shot in the back seven times by a white police officer who was responding to a domestic complaint—an episode that has left Blake paralyzed from the waist down.

雅各布·布莱克三世 (Jacob Blake III) 雅各布·布莱克 (Jacob Blake) 的父亲，芝加哥 8 月 23 日，在威斯康星州基诺沙，雅各布·布莱克 (Jacob Blake) 被一名正在处理家庭投诉的白人警察背部连开七枪，这一事件导致布莱克腰部以下瘫痪。

Video of the shooting touched off local protests that turned violent when a 17-year-old counterprotester, Kyle Rittenhouse, allegedly shot and killed two demonstrators and injured a third.

枪击事件的视频引发了当地抗议活动，抗议活动演变为暴力活动，一名 17 岁的反抗议者凯尔·里滕豪斯 (Kyle Rittenhouse) 据称开枪打死了两名示威者，打伤了第三名示威者。

For Blake's father, Jacob Blake III, the discrepancies between the police's treatment of Rittenhouse and his son exposed the inherent racism of our criminal justice system.

对于布莱克的父亲雅各布·布莱克三世来说，警方对待里滕豪斯及其儿子的差异暴露了我们刑事司法系统固有的种族主义。

And his son's shooting recalled harrowing episodes of police brutality in his native Chicago, where he has been staying intermittently between trips to protests in Milwaukee and Washington, D.C., and bedside visits with his son.

他儿子的枪击事件让他想起了在他的家乡芝加哥发生的令人痛心的警察暴行事件，他在前往密尔沃基和华盛顿特区参加抗议活动以及探望儿子的床边时断断续续地呆在那里。

There's two justice systems.

有两个司法系统。

There's a justice system for white people.

有一个针对白人的司法系统。

And then there's just us.

然后就只有我们了。

The young man with the long rifle in Wisconsin killed two people and blew another man's arm off.

威斯康星州持长步枪的年轻人杀死了两人，并炸断了另一名男子的手臂。

They gave him water.

他们给了他水。

They gave my son seven in the back.

他们在后面给了我儿子七分。

That is the clearest justification of the two-system definition.

这是两个体系定义最明确的理由。

My son had no gun but still got seven in his back, when that white boy almost got a ride home and some water.

我儿子没有枪，但他的背上仍然中了七枪，当时那个白人男孩差点就搭车回家喝了点水。

So we've been patching the system instead of fixing the system.

所以我们一直在给系统打补丁而不是修复系统。

And African Americans, people that are brown, people that are not white, are systematically put in a situation that can only be corrected by a system being fixed.

非裔美国人、棕色人种、非白人，被系统地置于只能通过修复系统来纠正的境地。

We need unity.

我们需要团结。

We need to change laws.

我们需要改变法律。

We need to rewrite a broken system, because if we don't and we just patch it, the hole comes back bigger than it was before.

我们需要重写一个损坏的系统，因为如果我们不这样做而只是修补它，那么漏洞就会比以前更大。

One shot, okay, maybe he's being overzealous.

一枪，好吧，也许他太热心了。

Two shots, then we begin to think, “What's going on?” Three shots…

两声枪响，然后我们开始思考，“发生了什么事？”三枪……

But seven shots?

但是七枪？

You assess it yourself.

你自己评估一下吧。

It was a failed attempt at an assassination, in my view.

在我看来，这是一次失败的暗杀尝试。

Now my son may not ever walk again.

现在我儿子可能再也不能走路了。

And that's something that we have to deal with as a family.

这是我们作为一个家庭必须处理的事情。

That's not a goal that we put in front of ourselves.

这不是我们给自己设定的目标。

But you understand that now we have to embrace it like it is one of our goals, because it's something we have to deal with.

但你知道，现在我们必须拥抱它，就像它是我们的目标之一一样，因为这是我们必须处理的事情。

We can't back away from it.

我们无法回避它。

When you're scared of something, you meet it head-on and then you take it out.

当你害怕某件事时，你会迎面面对它，然后把它拿出来。

We have no choice but to march on forward.

我们别无选择，只能继续前行。

I was raised by a heck of a father, the best father, in my opinion, ever on the planet.

我是由一位出色的父亲抚养长大的，在我看来，他是这个星球上最好的父亲。

I understood that in a time of need, it's your job.

我明白，在需要的时候，这就是你的工作。

And I didn't have any other choice.

而且我没有其他选择。

My option was to stand for my son who cannot stand.

我的选择是为我无法站立的儿子挺身而出。

Once you have unadulterated love for your children, you have no conditions set on what you'll do for your children.

一旦你对孩子有了纯粹的爱，你就不会为孩子做的事情设定任何条件。

It takes precedence over everything else.

它优先于其他一切。

This is part of being a dad, man.

这是作为一个父亲的一部分，伙计。

You take the good with the bad.

你接受好的和坏的。

And you can't judge your kids.

而且你不能评判你的孩子。

You have to take everything, because they have to be able to trust that they can sit down and tell you anything.

你必须接受一切，因为他们必须相信他们可以坐下来告诉你任何事情。

I didn't know what to expect.

我不知道会发生什么。

I know what I got: a whole lot of diapers, a whole lot of vomit, and a whole lot of wipes.

我知道我得到了什么：一大堆尿布、一大堆呕吐物和一大堆湿巾。

And they're shaking and moving.

他们正在颤抖和移动。

I never knew babies could move like that.

我从来不知道婴儿可以这样移动。

He can laugh a little bit now, so we tell jokes.

他现在可以笑了，所以我们就讲笑话。

A lot of jokes, and a lot of talking junk.

笑话很多，废话也很多。

You know, he's a fighter.

你知道，他是一名战士。

So he's dealing with this pain all day, every day.

所以他每天都在应对这种痛苦。

And his mindset is better than it was, but it's a daily process.

他的心态比以前好多了，但这是一个日常过程。

He's looking forward to getting out of rehab and trying to initiate life the way it's going to be.

他期待着走出康复中心并尝试开始新的生活。

But I'm sure he'll give you guys insight on how he feels when he's able to.

但我相信当他有能力的时候，他会让你们了解他的感受。

Michael Brown Sr. Father of Michael Brown Jr., St. Louis In August 2014, when 18-year-old Michael Brown Jr. was shot and killed by Darren Wilson, a white police officer, after an altercation on Canfield Drive in Ferguson, Missouri, his death set off nationwide protests and helped solidify the nascent Black Lives Matter movement.

老迈克尔·布朗 小迈克尔·布朗的父亲，圣路易斯 2014 年 8 月，18 岁的小迈克尔·布朗在密苏里州弗格森坎菲尔德大道发生争吵后被白人警察达伦·威尔逊开枪打死，他的死亡引发了全国范围内的抗议活动，并帮助巩固了新生的“黑人生命也是命”运动。

For his father, Michael Brown Sr., the pain of his son's death was renewed this summer when a new St. Louis County prosecutor declined to bring charges against Wilson after a grand jury did not deliver an indictment in 2014.

对于他的父亲老迈克尔·布朗来说，今年夏天，圣路易斯县新任检察官因大陪审团没有在 2014 年提出起诉书而拒绝对威尔逊提出指控，这让儿子的死亡再次带来了痛苦。

Yet Brown senior remains unflagging in his efforts to help other bereaved families.

然而，老布朗仍然坚持不懈地努力帮助其他失去亲人的家庭。

“You heal yourself,” he says, “but then you heal other people.”

“你可以治愈自己，”他说，“然后你也可以治愈其他人。”

I had a brotherhood of people who were affected like I was.

我有一群像我一样受到影响的人。

Tracy Martin, who is Trayvon's father.

特雷西·马丁，特雷冯的父亲。

Uncle Bobby, who is Oscar Grant's uncle.

鲍比叔叔，奥斯卡·格兰特的叔叔。

Ron Davis, who is Jordan Davis's father.

罗恩·戴维斯，乔丹·戴维斯的父亲。

Day one, when I met with them, they told me if I ever needed a shoulder to cry on, if I ever felt like just screaming, they didn't care what time in the morning it was, just call them: “Just don't hold that all in.

第一天，当我见到他们时，他们告诉我，如果我需要一个肩膀来依靠，如果我想尖叫，他们不在乎现在是什么时候，只要打电话给他们：“只是不要把这一切都憋在心里。

Because you have to release, Mike.” I've been rocking with them ever since.

因为你必须释放，迈克。”从那时起我就一直和他们一起摇摆。

And then a lot of it I had to learn on my own.

然后很多东西我必须自己学习。

People asked me, How did I get through?

人们问我，我是怎么熬过来的？

I tell them I got a praying wife and a praying mother.

我告诉他们我有一个祈祷的妻子和一个祈祷的母亲。

If it wasn't for them, I don't know where I would be.

如果没有他们，我不知道我会在哪里。

It's all about the positive notes that come from your support group.

这都是来自您的支持小组的积极评价。

And learning to release.

并学习释放。

Not say you have given up, that you forgive anything, but release a little bit of that pain and hatred, and put it in a different category and use it that way.

不是说你已经放弃，你原谅了任何事情，而是释放一点痛苦和仇恨，并将其放入不同的类别并以这种方式使用它。

That's why I do those speeches.

这就是我做这些演讲的原因。

I use that same energy in a different light.

我在不同的角度使用相同的能量。

I just got back in town.

我刚回到城里。

I was in Detroit, working with the sheriff's department.

我当时在底特律，在治安部门工作。

This sheriff in Detroit, he's working on trauma classes for people in county jail.

这位底特律的治安官正在为县监狱里的人们开设创伤课程。

There ain't that many jails doing that type of stuff.

做这种事的监狱并不多。

I told them I had a forgiveness program and hopefully we would work together.

我告诉他们我有一个宽恕计划，希望我们能一起努力。

It's a full-time thing.

这是一个全职的事情。

My mother told me I was always going to be a preacher or a teacher, and I ran from it, and sadly it got thrown in my lap the way Mike left this earth.

我母亲告诉我，我永远会成为一名传教士或教师，我逃离了它，可悲的是，它就像迈克离开这个世界一样被扔到了我的腿上。

I had no choice but to have a voice.

我别无选择，只能发出声音。

But I have accepted it.

但我已经接受了。

This is what I have to do.

这是我必须做的。

This is my life.

这就是我的生活。

Police have to do their part, we have to do ours.

警察必须尽他们的职责，我们也必须尽我们的职责。

But when you got people that never interacted with Black people, it's hard for them to be comfortable with our culture, because they don't understand us.

但是，当有人从未与黑人互动过时，他们很难对我们的文化感到满意，因为他们不了解我们。

Some of them do not want to understand us.

他们中的一些人不想理解我们。

It has to start from somewhere, either it's us or it's them.

它必须从某个地方开始，要么是我们，要么是他们。

But I feel it's always been us, because we're the ones who've been forgiving.

但我觉得一直是我们，因为我们是那些一直宽容的人。

Mike was 280, six feet four.

迈克身高 280 英寸，六英尺四英寸。

So I had to have talks with him when he was 15, when he was five feet eleven and 200 pounds.

所以我必须在他 15 岁时与他交谈，当时他身高 5 英尺 11 英寸，体重 200 磅。

I told him about incidents when I was younger.

我给他讲了我年轻时发生的事情。

They used to pull up on us and have us stand up on our tippy-toes and hit us in the back of the neck with a billy club and think that we're going to stay still.

他们常常把我们拦住，让我们踮起脚尖，用比利棍打我们的后颈，以为我们会保持不动。

No, we're not.

不，我们不是。

We're going to go forward, because that's our balance.

我们将继续前进，因为那是我们的平衡。

But if we moved, we got locked up.

但如果我们搬家，我们就会被锁起来。

And he was like, “Man, I hope that'll never happen to me.” And I was like, “Well, I hope it don't.

他说：“伙计，我希望这种事永远不会发生在我身上。”我当时想，“好吧，我希望不会。

But sadly, it could, son.

但可悲的是，它可以，儿子。

You are way bigger than me.

你比我大得多。

When you walk down the street, can't nobody tell if you're a grown man or a kid.” Truth is, they can hear the softness in your voice and know that you're young.

当你走在街上时，没人能分辨出你是成年人还是孩子。”事实上，他们可以听到你声音中的柔和，并知道你很年轻。

But they can play that role that they thought you were a grown man.

但他们可以扮演他们认为你是成年人的角色。

And that actually happened in his life.

这确实发生在他的生活中。

When you first see them come out the womb, you make promises to yourself: “I will never let nothing happen to you.” I think it's just the male nature that almost destroyed me—I felt like I should have been there.

当你第一次看到他们从子宫里出来时，你就向自己承诺：“我永远不会让你发生任何事情。”我认为正是男性天性几乎摧毁了我——我觉得我应该在那里。

Or it should have been me, not him.

或者应该是我，而不是他。

And I was told that was natural: “It should have bothered you, because it showed us that you were human.” And I was like, “I am human.” But it showed me in a different light, that I have feelings.

有人告诉我这是很自然的：“这应该让你感到困扰，因为它向我们表明你是人类。”我当时想，“我是人类。”但这从另一个角度向我展示了我有感情。

I go to the grave for my own peace.

我去坟墓是为了我自己的平安。

That's where I don't really see nobody.

那是我真的看不到任何人的地方。

I can go to Canfield right now, get out the car, and I get blows: “Hey, Mr. Brown!” Which is cool.

我现在就可以去坎菲尔德，下车，然后挨打：“嘿，布朗先生！”这很酷。

But people want to talk.

但人们想要说话。

And at that point I don't really be wanting to talk.

那时我真的不想说话。

I just want to remember.

我只是想记住。

So I go to the grave, and that's where I get my space.

所以我去了坟墓，那是我获得空间的地方。

I don't have to worry about nobody stopping me out of whatever thought I have going on.

我不必担心没有人阻止我的想法。

So I can have my moment for him.

这样我就可以为他享受属于我的时刻。

Like, “Look what you got me into, man.” And I just laugh because I feel like there wasn't no better person to go through this fight for him.

就像，“看看你让我陷入了什么，伙计。”我只是笑，因为我觉得没有比他更好的人来为他经历这场战斗了。

I am his father.

我是他的父亲。

We share the same name.

我们同名。

I finally got all my strength to withstand this pressure on my back.

我终于鼓足了全身的力气，顶住了背上的压力。

I still have people that think I can save this world.

我仍然有人认为我可以拯救这个世界。

I know I can't.

我知道我不能。

But I try to give advice.

但我尝试提供建议。

I know he's proud of it.

我知道他为此感到自豪。

And I'm still proud of him from the grave.

我在坟墓里仍然为他感到骄傲。

Mosi Secret is a former ‘New York Times’ reporter now working on a book about a social experiment to integrate elite private schools in the American South.

莫西·秘密（Mosi Secret）是《纽约时报》的前记者，目前正在写一本关于整合美国南部精英私立学校的社会实验的书。

A version of this story originally appears in the December/January 2021 issue with the title "Visible Men."

该故事的一个版本最初出现在 2021 年 12 月/2021 年 1 月号中，标题为“Visible Men”。

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