How a Would-Be Bomber Rebuilt His Life | The Walrus
T he email began : “I hope you’re doing well and I hope this email does not cause you any anxiety.
电子邮件的开头是：“我希望你一切都好，我希望这封电子邮件不会给你带来任何焦虑。
I really mean that.”
我真的是这个意思。”
The name attached to the November 8, 2023, message—Zakaria Amara—was one I had not thought about in years, but there was a time when I had spent hours studying him from afar.
2023 年 11 月 8 日消息所附的名字——扎卡里亚·阿马拉（Zakaria Amara）——是我多年来没有想到过的名字，但有一段时间，我花了几个小时从远处研究他。
Amara was one of the leaders in the 2006 terrorism case where eighteen Muslim men and youth, four under the age of eighteen, were arrested for plotting to blow up downtown Toronto targets and a military base.
阿马拉是 2006 年恐怖主义案件的领导人之一，该案件中有 18 名穆斯林男子和青年（其中 4 名不满 18 岁）因密谋炸毁多伦多市中心目标和军事基地而被捕。
Back then, I was the Toronto Star ’s national security correspondent, and we covered the story extensively—weeks, months, years of ink.
当时，我是《多伦多星报》的国家安全记者，我们广泛报道了这个故事——几周、几个月、几年的墨水。
It was considered Canada’s first large-scale “homegrown terrorism” plot, a term that took on new significance after the September 11, 2001, attacks to describe suspects who became violently radical without ever leaving their borders.
这被认为是加拿大第一次大规模的“本土恐怖主义”阴谋，这个词在 2001 年 9 月 11 日的袭击事件之后具有了新的意义，用来描述那些从未离开过国境就变得暴力激进的嫌疑人。
The plan went like this: two U-Haul trucks, each containing a one-tonne fertilizer bomb, would be parked in front of the targeted buildings during the morning rush hour.
计划是这样的：两辆 U-Haul 卡车，每辆装有一吨重的化肥炸弹，将在早高峰时段停在目标建筑物前。
A third bomb would simultaneously hit a military base.
第三枚炸弹将同时袭击一个军事基地。
Although the accused came to be known collectively as the “Toronto 18,” the group had broken into two factions after disagreements between some of the members.
尽管被告被统称为“多伦多18人”，但由于一些成员之间存在分歧，该组织已分裂为两个派别。
Amara, who was then a married twenty-year-old gas station attendant at Canadian Tire and a new father, called the shots for one of the groups.
阿马拉当时是加拿大轮胎公司一名已婚的二十岁加油站服务员，也是一名新父亲，他为其中一个团体发号施令。
He appeared determined to act, and as police listened to him on wiretaps, he bragged that his attack was “gonna be kicking ass like never before.”
他似乎决心采取行动，当警察通过窃听听他的讲话时，他吹嘘说他的袭击“将会是前所未有的严重”。
Amara went so far as to build a detonator and buy what he thought was a truckload of explosives from an undercover informant.
阿马拉甚至制造了一个雷管，并从一名卧底线人那里购买了他认为是一卡车的炸药。
“To put this in context,” Royal Canadian Mounted Police assistant commissioner Mike McDonell said at the time of the arrests, “the 1995 bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City that killed 168 people took one tonne of ammonium nitrate.” McDonell was wrong: it was actually a little over two tonnes.
“从背景来看，”加拿大皇家骑警助理局长 Mike McDonell 在逮捕行动时表示，“1995 年俄克拉荷马城默拉联邦大楼爆炸案导致 168 人死亡，消耗了一吨硝酸铵。”麦克唐纳错了：它实际上有两吨多一点。
Amara had ordered three.
阿马拉订了三个。
Like Amara, most of the accused were educated young Canadians who grew up in middle-class households.
和阿马拉一样，大多数被告都是在中产阶级家庭长大的受过教育的加拿大年轻人。
They were angered by the war in Iraq and Canada’s involvement in Afghanistan, believing their actions would somehow convince Parliament to pull Canadian troops from the conflict.
他们对伊拉克战争和加拿大介入阿富汗感到愤怒，认为他们的行动会以某种方式说服议会从冲突中撤出加拿大军队。
But they were also far from a monolithic group and were motivated by a variety of personal reasons, spurred on by online propaganda.
但他们也远非一个铁板一块的群体，他们的动机是受到各种个人原因和网络宣传的刺激。
They were looking—perhaps Amara most of all—to escape their everyday lives for something more meaningful.
他们（也许是阿玛拉）希望逃离日常生活，寻找更有意义的事情。
Journalists showed up from all over Canada, the US, and beyond to attend the suspects’ bail hearings in Brampton, and anyone who had a long beard or hijab had a microphone shoved in their face.
记者从加拿大、美国和其他地方赶来参加在宾顿举行的嫌疑人保释听证会，任何留着长胡子或戴头巾的人都会被把麦克风塞到脸上。
Globe and Mail columnist Christie Blatchford wrote at the time that the accused “have first names like Mohamed, middle names like Mohamed and last names like Mohamed.”
《环球邮报》专栏作家克里斯蒂·布拉奇福德当时写道，被告“名字像穆罕默德，中间名像穆罕默德，姓氏像穆罕默德”。
Four years, many hearings, and hundreds of articles later, seven of the eighteen accused walked free, including three of the youths, who had their charges stayed.
四年来，经过多次听证会和数百篇文章，十八名被告中的七人获释，其中包括三名年轻人，他们的指控被保留。
Another four had gone to trial and were found guilty.
另外四人已接受审判并被判有罪。
The remaining seven, including Amara, decided to plead guilty.
包括阿马拉在内的其余七人决定认罪。
In 2022, after nearly seventeen years behind bars, including years of solitary confinement and a lengthy stint at Canada’s most violent penitentiary, Amara was granted parole.
2022 年，阿马拉在入狱近 17 年（包括多年的单独监禁和在加拿大最暴力监狱的长期监禁）后获得假释。
I was surprised to hear from him.
听到他的来信我很惊讶。
The media’s coverage of the Toronto 18 case had been criticized in some quarters—not unfairly—for being sensational, and I assumed he’d want nothing to do with reporters.
媒体对多伦多 18 案的报道在某些方面受到批评——这并非不公平——因为耸人听闻，我认为他不想与记者有任何关系。
I replied the day after receiving his email.
我收到他的邮件后第二天就回复了。
I told him that, after two decades at the Star , I’d left the newspaper in 2018 to focus more on documentary filmmaking, podcasts, and longer features but that I’d be happy to have a coffee.
我告诉他，在《星报》工作了二十年后，我于 2018 年离开了这家报纸，更多地专注于纪录片制作、播客和较长的专题片，但我很乐意喝杯咖啡。
I was genuinely curious about how he was doing, how prison had shaped him.
我真的很好奇他过得怎么样，监狱如何塑造了他。
We agreed to meet on the campus of Toronto Metropolitan University.
我们同意在多伦多城市大学校园见面。
I was running a few minutes late, so I sent him a text.
我迟到了几分钟，所以我给他发了一条短信。
“Got us prime real estate,” he wrote back.
“我们得到了优质的房地产，”他回复道。
“Going to find a spot to pray.
“去找个地方祈祷。
Brb.” As I waited in line for coffee, I spotted what I assumed was his unattended bag at a table by the window.
布。”当我排队喝咖啡时，我发现窗边的桌子上有一个我以为是他无人看管的包。
Just minutes later, he came back looking distraught and apologizing profusely for how that must have appeared—a convicted terrorist leaving an unattended bag!
几分钟后，他回来时看上去心烦意乱，并为自己的表现深表歉意——一个被定罪的恐怖分子留下了一个无人看管的包！
I laughed and confessed the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, which obviously made me a terrible national security correspondent.
我笑了，承认我根本没想过这个想法，这显然让我成为了一名糟糕的国家安全记者。
Throughout that first conversation, he seemed contrite, regretful, thoughtful, and pretty funny.
在第一次谈话中，他显得懊悔、遗憾、深思熟虑，而且很有趣。
But I still had a journalist’s skepticism.
但我仍然抱有记者的怀疑态度。
He was a convicted terrorist and had been described by police as persuasive and manipulative.
他是一名被定罪的恐怖分子，警方称他具有说服力和操纵性。
I wanted to believe he was a changed man—but was he?
我想相信他已经变了一个人——但是他真的是吗？
For months after—as texts, emails, and coffee talks became regular—Amara shared stories of his new life back on the outside, and I got to know him better.
几个月后，随着短信、电子邮件和咖啡谈话变得越来越频繁，阿马拉在外面分享了他的新生活的故事，我对他有了更好的了解。
He got a bike and would ride around Toronto on his days off work, relishing his freedom.
他买了一辆自行车，在下班的日子里骑着自行车环游多伦多，享受自由。
His written correspondence had a lot of smiling emojis and exclamation points.
他的书面信件中有很多微笑的表情符号和感叹号。
But it was clear he had to work hard for that optimism as he also wraps himself in the guilt of lives ruined—not just his but those of his co-accused, friends, relatives, and especially his daughter.
但很明显，他必须为这种乐观而努力，因为他也将自己包裹在生命被毁的愧疚之中——不仅是他自己，还有他的同案被告、朋友、亲戚，尤其是他的女儿。
The more we talked, the harder it became not to want to write about him—to write the sequel.
我们聊得越多，就越难不想写他——写续集。
I knew he had a good story to tell, but I think it was something more than that.
我知道他有一个好故事要讲，但我认为故事远不止于此。
Because what Amara really seeks is something he cannot control: redemption.
因为阿马拉真正追求的是他无法控制的东西：救赎。
And if he was indeed “rehabilitated,” I wanted to help him get it.
如果他确实“平反”了，我想帮助他。
W hen Amara pleaded guilty in 2010, he tearily addressed the court: “I spent days upon days trying to summon words appropriate, meaningful, and deep enough to express my regret and seek forgiveness for my actions,” he told Justice Bruce Durno.
当阿马拉在 2010 年认罪时，他泪流满面地在法庭上说道：“我花了日复一日的时间试图找到适当、有意义且足够深刻的词语来表达我的遗憾并为我的行为寻求宽恕，”他告诉法官布鲁斯·杜诺 (Bruce Durno)。
“I would like to promise you and my fellow Canadians that I will use my sentence to change myself from a man of destruction to a man of construction.
“我想向你们和我的加拿大同胞们保证，我将利用我的刑期将自己从一个破坏者变成一个建设者。
I promise, no matter how long it takes.”
我保证，无论需要多长时间。”
But Amara’s path toward repentance wasn’t straightforward.
但阿马拉的悔改之路并不平坦。
His first three years in pre-trial custody were spent in solitary confinement in Milton’s Maplehurst Correctional Facility and Toronto’s Don Jail, where, he says, he became only more extreme in his views—determined to avenge the Muslim lives lost in the conflicts that followed the 9/11 attacks.
他在审前羁押的头三年是在米尔顿的梅普尔赫斯特惩教所和多伦多的唐监狱单独监禁中度过的，他说，在那里，他的观点变得更加极端——决心为在 9/11 袭击后的冲突中丧生的穆斯林报仇。
“There was a moment when I actually wanted to write, almost like a manifesto, condemning the process, condemning the government, condemning the war in Afghanistan, condemning the US, like just using that as a platform,” he says.
“有那么一刻，我真的想写下来，几乎就像一份宣言，谴责这一过程，谴责政府，谴责阿富汗战争，谴责美国，就像只是以此为平台，”他说。
He had planned to read that statement in court.
他原计划在法庭上宣读这份声明。
But when he tried to write, he struggled to explain himself—to justify what he had planned.
但当他尝试写作时，他很难解释自己——证明他的计划是正确的。
“I just couldn’t write a coherent piece.” That was the first small crack.
“我就是无法写出一篇连贯的文章。”那是第一个小裂缝。
Soon after, he was transferred into the general population at the Don Jail, where he had some challenging conversations.
不久之后，他被转移到唐监狱的普通人群中，在那里他进行了一些具有挑战性的对话。
There was a Jewish inmate, and they debated Palestine.
有一个犹太囚犯，他们就巴勒斯坦问题进行了辩论。
There was a former soldier who said he had fought in the war in Afghanistan and held some nuanced views.
有一位退伍军人说，他曾参加过阿富汗战争，并持有一些微妙的观点。
And there was a banker from Bay Street whose brothers worked in the Toronto Stock Exchange, which had been one of the group’s targets.
还有一位来自湾街的银行家，他的兄弟在多伦多证券交易所工作，该交易所一直是该组织的目标之一。
The banker was “more of a potential victim than anybody else, and seeing him and interacting with him made me reconsider.
这位银行家“比其他任何人都更像是潜在的受害者，看到他并与他互动让我重新考虑。
If somebody shows me that I’m wrong, I am willing to accept it,” Amara later told the court at his sentencing.
如果有人告诉我我错了，我愿意接受，”阿马拉后来在法庭宣判时说道。
But when I ask Amara if he had really altered his views, he pauses and then says, “You know when there’s issues of domestic violence and the husband or the boyfriend feels awful?
但当我问阿马拉他是否真的改变了观点时，他停顿了一下，然后说：“你知道当出现家庭暴力问题时，丈夫或男朋友会感觉很糟糕吗？
And he says ‘I’m sorry’ but he hasn’t really dealt with the core issues.
他说“对不起”，但他还没有真正处理核心问题。
You just feel sorry in that moment.
那一刻你只是感到遗憾。
Right?” In other words, to use therapy speak, Amara had not yet “done the work.”
对吗？换句话说，用治疗的话来说，阿马拉还没有“完成工作”。
That would come, he says, after he was given a life sentence and transferred to Quebec’s Special Handling Unit, or the SHU.
他说，在他被判处无期徒刑并被转移到魁北克特别处理部门（SHU）之后，这一切就会到来。
The SHU, in Sainte-Anne-des-Plaines, is Canada’s most restrictive detention centre and is often referred to as the “last resort” for inmates who pose a risk so high that they cannot be managed in a regular maximum-security institution.
位于 Sainte-Anne-des-Plaines 的 SHU 是加拿大限制最严格的拘留中心，通常被称为风险极高、无法在常规最高安全机构管理的囚犯的“最后手段”。
No one wakes up a terrorist.
没有人叫醒恐怖分子。
There are many factors and stages that can last years before police are involved.
在警方介入之前，有许多因素和阶段可能会持续数年。
Amara was devastated to be transferred to a place he described as a “den of lions,” home to inmates who had committed violence not just on the outside but while incarcerated as well.
阿马拉被转移到一个他称之为“狮子巢穴”的地方感到震惊，这里关押着不仅在外面而且在监禁期间犯下暴力行为的囚犯。
“You have to remember that, except for the terrorism cases, everybody is there because they are, in prison lingo, ‘established,’” Amara says.
“你必须记住，除了恐怖主义案件外，每个人都在那里，因为用监狱行话来说，他们是‘成立的’，”阿马拉说。
“You reach the end of the day and you’re just so relieved.
“一天结束时，你会如释重负。
Ten thirty is when everything is locked up and shuts down.
十点三十分是所有东西都被锁起来并关闭的时候。
All you can think is, ‘I made it,’ but then you remember, ‘I have to do it again tomorrow.’”
你所能想到的就是，‘我做到了’，但随后你会想起，‘明天我必须再做一次。’”
Amara was told he was there to be assessed.
阿马拉被告知他要去那里接受评估。
He ended up staying for six years.
他最终呆了六年。
As the months dragged on—and without any type of therapy or rehabilitation—he relapsed.
随着时间的推移，在没有任何类型的治疗或康复的情况下，他的病情复发了。
Amara said he became paranoid (in 2011, he even threw scalding water on another inmate), stopped talking to his parole officer, and smashed his TV.
阿马拉说，他变得偏执（2011年，他甚至向另一名囚犯泼热水），不再与假释官说话，还砸坏了电视。
He witnessed an inmate get stabbed repeatedly and other crimes he says he has trouble talking about and would rather just forget.
他亲眼目睹一名囚犯多次被刺伤，还目睹了其他罪行，他说自己很难谈论这些罪行，宁愿忘记。
In the summer of 2014, he began to obsess about the terror group ISIS fighting against the Syrian regime.
2014年夏天，他开始关注与叙利亚政权作战的恐怖组织“伊斯兰国”。
“I was following the news and I’m even drawing maps, [charting] their progress, thinking, ‘Look, the brothers are gaining territory,’” he says.
“我在关注新闻，甚至画地图，记录他们的进展，心想，‘看，兄弟俩正在夺取领土，’”他说。
“And ‘Oh they’re going to get me out,’ you know?
“还有‘哦，他们会把我救出来’，你知道吗？
I was just delusional.”
我只是产生了妄想。”
But when he started to hear reports of infighting between the groups and the scale of ISIS brutality, he began to doubt his own beliefs.
但当他开始听到有关各组织之间的内讧以及伊斯兰国残暴规模的报道时，他开始怀疑自己的信仰。
“When you’re serving a life sentence, you hold on to the cause, as it’s the only way to give meaning to the suffering,” he says.
“当你被判无期徒刑时，你会坚持自己的事业，因为这是让痛苦有意义的唯一方法，”他说。
Ideologically, he still supported al-Qaeda’s opposition to the West and thought ISIS was just an extension of this group.
意识形态上，他仍然支持基地组织反对西方，并认为ISIS只是该组织的延伸。
But when ISIS began to break free from its al-Qaeda roots and declared its caliphate, Amara didn’t know what to believe anymore.
但当伊斯兰国开始摆脱基地组织的根源并宣布建立哈里发国时，阿马拉不知道该相信什么了。
One night, he heard a BBC radio report about militants fighting each other—fifty dead.
一天晚上，他听到英国广播公司 (BBC) 广播电台报道称，武装分子互相打斗，造成 50 人死亡。
Then came graphic accounts of hostages and suspected spies being beheaded, followed by mosque attacks, as the death toll steadily rose.
随后出现了人质和疑似间谍被斩首的生动描述，随后清真寺遭到袭击，死亡人数稳步上升。
He said he was especially struck by the murders of British aid worker Alan Henning and American journalist Jim Foley, both beheaded by ISIS.
他说，英国救援人员艾伦·亨宁和美国记者吉姆·弗利被“伊斯兰国”斩首的事件让他尤其震惊。
And he was horrified by the burning of Jordanian pilot Muath al-Kaseasbeh, which he saw as a perversion of his religion, since there are explicit prophetic texts prohibiting the killing of anyone with fire.
他对约旦飞行员 Muath al-Kaseasbeh 被烧死感到震惊，认为这是对他的宗教的歪曲，因为有明确的预言文本禁止用火杀死任何人。
Over the period of about a year, he slowly became overwhelmed by the horror of it all and doubted his “cause” and his faith.
在大约一年的时间里，他慢慢地被这一切的恐怖所淹没，并怀疑他的“事业”和他的信仰。
“They were upping the ante of how savage they could be.” Amara felt something break.
“他们提高了自己的野蛮程度。”阿玛拉感到有什么东西破碎了。
So he started to write it all down.
于是他开始把这一切写下来。
I n the years after 9/11, the bulk of my reporting had focused more on abuses of power than impending terror threats.
在 9/11 事件发生后的几年里，我的大部分报道更多地关注滥用权力，而不是迫在眉睫的恐怖威胁。
I investigated the detention and torture of Canadians Maher Arar, Abdullah Almalki, Muayyed Nureddin, Ahmad Abou-Elmaati, and Omar Khadr.
我调查了加拿大人 Maher Arar、Abdullah Almalki、Muayyed Nureddin、Ahmad Abou-Elmaati 和 Omar Khadr 的拘留和酷刑情况。
Eventually, the federal government would offer the five men an apology for Canada’s role in their wrongful imprisonment in Syria, Egypt, and Guantanamo Bay and pay out more than $50 million in settlements.
最终，联邦政府将就加拿大在叙利亚、埃及和关塔那摩湾的错误监禁这五人中所扮演的角色向这五人道歉，并支付超过 5000 万美元的和解金。
In late 2005, though, I began receiving tips of a different kind.
然而，2005 年末，我开始收到不同类型的提示。
A security source alerted me to a suspicious gun-smuggling arrest at the border, and I had reports from community contacts that various young people were under surveillance.
一位安全消息人士提醒我，边境有一起可疑的枪支走私被捕事件，我从社区联系人那里得到报告称，许多年轻人都受到监视。
There was a lot of chatter and fear, but I wasn’t yet sure what I was investigating.
有很多闲聊和恐惧，但我还不确定我在调查什么。
Some of the tips hinted at a very real threat to Toronto’s safety.
其中一些提示暗示了多伦多的安全面临着非常现实的威胁。
Others warned it was another case of law enforcement overreach in the name of national security.
其他人警告说，这是又一起以国家安全名义执法越权的案件。
What I didn’t realize was that, once I started investigating what would turn out to be the Toronto 18 case, I was inadvertently setting off tripwires.
我没有意识到的是，当我开始调查多伦多 18 号案件时，我无意中触发了绊网。
Some of my calls were picked up as police were listening in.
我的一些电话在警察监听时被接听。
I even knocked on the door of one of Amara’s co-accused, whose name I learned from a source connected with the gun-smuggling operation.
我什至敲了阿马拉的一名同案被告的门，我从与枪支走私活动有关的消息来源得知了他的名字。
Then came a warning a few months later—nothing official, nothing on paper, but a phone call from someone I knew in the federal government who said the RCMP was not happy with my probing.
几个月后，我收到了警告——没有任何官方消息，也没有书面文件，但我在联邦政府认识的一个人打来电话，说加拿大皇家骑警对我的调查不满意。
I was told: “You are making a lot of asses clench in Ottawa.”
有人告诉我：“你让渥太华的很多人都抓紧了。”
The message was that if the Star wrote about the investigation before the arrests and something happened, the cops would happily hold a press conference and blame us.
传达的信息是，如果《星报》在逮捕之前报道了调查情况，并且发生了一些事情，警察会很乐意召开新闻发布会并指责我们。
At the time, I didn’t have a story yet, and I think my editors were growing a little impatient with my digging.
当时，我还没有故事，我认为我的编辑对我的挖掘有点不耐烦了。
But now we knew something was coming, and this case became my full-time assignment.
但现在我们知道有些事情即将发生，这个案子成了我的全职任务。
On the night of June 2, 2006, my backyard was filled with Star journalists for an annual summer barbecue we used to hold (my husband is also a journalist with the newspaper).
2006年6月2日晚上，我的后院挤满了《星报》记者，参加我们每年举办的夏季烧烤会（我丈夫也是该报的记者）。
More than sixty summer interns, reporters, photographers, and editors were crammed into our small yard, beers and burgers in hand.
六十多名暑期实习生、记者、摄影师和编辑挤在我们的小院子里，手里拿着啤酒和汉堡。
I suspected arrests in the case would be coming any day, but I had no idea when.
我怀疑该案随时都会被逮捕，但我不知道什么时候。
When my cellphone rang with an unknown number, I remember looking at the photo editor, who was tending the barbecue.
当我的手机响起未知号码时，我记得看着正在烧烤的照片编辑。
Surely it couldn’t be now?
现在肯定不可能吧？
It was around 8 p.m.
当时是晚上 8 点左右。
on a Friday evening.
在一个星期五的晚上。
“Pre-dawn raids” is a cliché for a reason—most arrests happen in the early hours, when suspects are home and asleep.
“黎明前的突袭”是一种陈词滥调，这是有原因的——大多数逮捕发生在凌晨，此时嫌疑人已经在家睡觉。
A source was on the phone.
电话里有消息来源。
“It’s going down” was all they said.
他们只说“它正在下降”。
Within minutes, our backyard had emptied out.
几分钟之内，我们的后院就空了。
Reporters and photographers were dispatched east, west, and north of Toronto as I headed to the newsroom to pull the story together.
当我前往新闻编辑室整理故事时，记者和摄影师被派往多伦多东部、西部和北部。
By 9 p.m., we had a bare-bones version of the story online.
晚上 9 点，我们在网上看到了这个故事的基本版本。
At 9:16 p.m., the RCMP sent out a vague press release stating there would be a news conference the next morning.
晚上 9 点 16 分，加拿大皇家骑警发布了一份含糊其辞的新闻稿，称第二天早上将举行新闻发布会。
By 5 a.m.
凌晨 5 点
on June 3, we had more than 5,500 words online.
6月3日，我们的在线留言已超过5500字。
I was proud of our reporting, and while the coverage seemed sensational, the case was sensational.
我为我们的报道感到自豪，虽然报道看起来很耸人听闻，但这个案件却很耸人听闻。
Over 400 police officers from across Ontario—including Toronto’s Emergency Task Force squad and canine unit—made the arrests in a series of dramatic takedowns Friday night and into the early hours of Saturday.
来自安大略省各地的 400 多名警察（包括多伦多紧急特遣队和警犬队）在周五晚上到周六凌晨进行了一系列戏剧性的逮捕行动。
We had no way of knowing yet if the allegations were true, and we could build profiles of the suspects based only on what we were told.
我们尚无法知道这些指控是否属实，而且我们只能根据所获悉的信息来建立嫌疑人的档案。
But the fear the case stoked, and some of the Islamophobic coverage that followed, was disturbing.
但这起案件引发的恐惧，以及随之而来的一些仇视伊斯兰的报道，令人不安。
A right-wing blog calling our coverage a triumph of “beat reporting over political correctness” made me feel queasy.
一个右翼博客称我们的报道是“击败报道战胜政治正确性”的胜利，这让我感到不安。
The case also prompted then prime minister Stephen Harper to enact a new law that revoked the Canadian citizenship of those convicted of terrorism who were born outside of Canada.
此案还促使时任总理斯蒂芬·哈珀颁布一项新法律，撤销在加拿大境外出生的被判犯有恐怖主义罪的人的加拿大公民身份。
Amara, who was born in Jordan but grew up in Mississauga, Ontario, was the first citizen to be stripped of his passport under this new ruling.
阿马拉出生于约旦，但在安大略省米西索加长大，他是根据这项新规定第一个被剥夺护照的公民。
The law later became a contentious topic of debate during the 2015 election when Justin Trudeau famously argued against two-tiered citizenship, decrying, “A Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian.” Once prime minister, he repealed the law, and Amara’s citizenship was reinstated.
该法律后来成为 2015 年选举期间的一个有争议的话题，当时贾斯汀·特鲁多 (Justin Trudeau) 反对两级公民身份，并谴责“加拿大人就是加拿大人就是加拿大人”。担任总理后，他废除了该法律，阿马拉的公民身份得到恢复。
The Star followed the trials vigorously—my colleague Isabel Teotonio spent years documenting the hearings for a lengthy series.
《星报》积极关注审判过程——我的同事伊莎贝尔·特奥托尼奥（Isabel Teotonio）花了数年时间记录了一系列冗长的听证会。
The cases were complicated: the allegations against each of the accused differed in terms of their involvement, and there was controversy about the influence of undercover operatives.
案件十分复杂：对每位被告的指控在参与程度上各不相同，而且对于卧底特工的影响力也存在争议。
Despite the severity of the allegations, some of the details of the cases seemed more farcical than fanatical.
尽管指控很严重，但案件的一些细节似乎更滑稽而不是狂热。
There was, for example, the so-called training camp that Amara and one of his co-accused organized in the snowy woods north of Toronto, involving about a dozen recruits (including an undercover operative) marching around the forest, watching videos, and making grandiose statements.
例如，阿马拉和他的一名同案被告在多伦多北部白雪皑皑的树林里组织了一个所谓的训练营，大约有十几名新兵（包括一名卧底特工）在森林里游行，观看视频，发表浮夸的言论。
At a memorable preliminary hearing for one of the fifteen-year-old suspects, lawyer Nadir Sachak inquired about his client’s survival training:
在为其中一名 15 岁嫌疑人举行的一次令人难忘的预审中，纳迪尔·萨查克 (Nadir Sachak) 律师询问了他当事人的生存训练：
Q: It appeared that you guys were going to Tim Hortons or a doughnut shop on a regular basis?
问：看来你们经常去 Tim Hortons 或甜甜圈店？
Q: So, like, where would you guys go to do a number one at the camp?
问：那么，你们会去哪里参加训练营的第一场比赛呢？
A: Anywhere, really.
答：任何地方，真的。
I mean there were general areas where you would go, and it was known that people would, you know, use facilities accordingly over there.
我的意思是，有一些你会去的一般区域，众所周知，人们会相应地使用那里的设施。
A: Oh, yeah, two, three days even.
A：哦，是的，甚至两三天。
Depending.
取决于。
There were, I don’t want to say shifts, but . . .
有，我不想说转变，但是 。 。 。
Q: All right, so basically the trips to Tim Hortons were to take a dump and to eat some food?
问：好吧，那么去 Tim Hortons 基本上就是去拉屎和吃点东西？
I felt sorry for those who were acquitted or had their charges stayed.
我为那些被无罪释放或被保留指控的人感到遗憾。
Being called a terrorist, especially in the fearful decade that followed the 9/11 attacks, was a label that is impossible to shake.
被称为恐怖分子，尤其是在 9/11 袭击之后的可怕十年里，是一个无法摆脱的标签。
After the arrests, I spent much of the next decade reporting from abroad—an incredible beat that allowed me to follow the stories from the halls of power where foreign policies take flight to the conflict zones where they land.
逮捕事件发生后，我在接下来十年的大部分时间里都在国外进行报道——这种令人难以置信的节奏让我能够追踪权力大厅里的故事，在那里外交政策飞向他们降落的冲突地区。
All too often, I’d discover that something enacted in the name of protecting national security would do just the opposite.
我常常发现，以保护国家安全的名义制定的某些措施会起到相反的作用。
An errant drone strike that hits a wedding party not only doesn’t kill terrorists—it inspires new ones.
一次错误的无人机袭击婚礼派对不仅不会杀死恐怖分子，反而会激发新的恐怖分子。
In 2016, I was given a year-long fellowship to investigate “homegrown terrorism” and the counter-violent extremism—CVE—industry.
2016 年，我获得了为期一年的奖学金，以调查“本土恐怖主义”和反暴力极端主义（CVE）行业。
My research pointed to two factors.
我的研究指出了两个因素。
First, this problem should not be left to law enforcement alone.
首先，这个问题不应仅由执法部门解决。
No one wakes up a terrorist.
没有人叫醒恐怖分子。
There are many factors and stages that can last years before police are involved.
在警方介入之前，有许多因素和阶段可能会持续数年。
And second, no deradicalization program can work without an intense one-on-one approach involving mentors who have credibility with vulnerable youths.
其次，如果没有与弱势青少年有信誉的导师进行深入的一对一合作，任何去激进化计划都无法发挥作用。
It made me think back to whether what happened in the Toronto 18 case was the best outcome—the millions spent investigating, the elaborate undercover operations, lives ruined, not just of the accused but also their families and friends, and the spread of Islamophobia that the arrests generated.
这让我回想起多伦多 18 案中发生的事情是否是最好的结果——花费数百万美元进行调查，精心策划的卧底行动，不仅被告而且还包括他们的家人和朋友的生活被毁，以及逮捕引发的伊斯兰恐惧症的蔓延。
Had there been programs or other options available back in 2006, could those accused have been deradicalized?
如果 2006 年有可用的计划或其他选择，那些被指控的人是否会被去激进化？
Could Amara have been diverted instead of arrested?
阿马拉是否会被转移而不是被捕？
L anguage has been at the centre of Amara’s case from the start.
从一开始，语言就一直是阿马拉案件的核心。
As a teenager, he had a blog where he’d opine about his growing anti-Western views, at one point complaining about not being able to persuade some friends.
十几岁的时候，他有一个博客，在其中发表自己日益增长的反西方观点，一度抱怨无法说服一些朋友。
“Trying to convince these people is like trying to subdue the Mercury Guy from Terminator 2, impossible.
“试图说服这些人就像试图制服《终结者 2》中的水星人一样，不可能。
Unless we can get some liquid Nitrogen that is (CSIS, I was just joking).” CSIS took note.
除非我们能得到一些液氮（CSIS，我只是开玩笑）。” CSIS 注意到了这一点。
And then, after his arrest, it was my language, along with that of others in the media, that established his public profile as a terrorist.
然后，在他被捕后，正是我的语言以及媒体上其他人的语言确立了他作为恐怖分子的公众形象。
I looked back at the stories we wrote when Amara was first arrested—beginning that June 3 morning under the headline “Terror Cops Swoop.” As opposed to many of the columns, the stories were straightforward: this is what is being alleged, this is what people are saying, “none of the allegations have been proven in court.”
我回顾了阿马拉第一次被捕时我们写的故事——从 6 月 3 日早上开始，标题是“恐怖警察猛扑”。与许多专栏相反，这些故事很简单：这就是所指控的内容，这就是人们所说的，“所有指控都没有在法庭上得到证实。”
But, of course, even these news stories contained some of the “war on terror” platitudes that politicians and analysts loved and would convict suspects in the court of public opinion.
但是，当然，即使这些新闻报道也包含一些政治家和分析人士喜欢的“反恐战争”陈词滥调，并会在舆论法庭上给嫌疑人定罪。
A day after the arrests, with details about the accused still unfolding, Harper told reporters, “As at other times in our history, we are a target because of who we are and how we live, our society, our diversity, and our values—values such as freedom, democracy, and the rule of law—the values that make Canada great, values that Canadians cherish.”
逮捕一天后，有关被告的细节仍在揭晓，哈珀对记者说：“与我们历史上的其他时期一样，我们成为目标，因为我们是谁、我们的生活方式、我们的社会、我们的多样性和我们的价值观——自由、民主和法治等价值观——这些价值观使加拿大伟大，是加拿大人珍视的价值观。”
Once Amara had his revelation about ISIS, he began to rewrite his narrative.
阿马拉得知 ISIS 的真相后，他开始重写自己的叙述。
And once he started, he couldn’t stop writing.
一旦开始写作，他就无法停止。
In 2015, Amara was transferred from the SHU to Millhaven Institution, a less restrictive maximum-security facility in Bath, Ontario.
2015 年，阿马拉从 SHU 转移到米尔黑文研究所，这是位于安大略省巴斯的一个限制较少的最高安全设施。
It was here, a couple years later, that he met Sena Hussain during a prison “health fair,” where different organizations set up booths for inmates to browse.
几年后，他在这里的一次监狱“健康博览会”上认识了塞纳·侯赛因，会上不同的组织设立了摊位供囚犯浏览。
Hussain produces and edits a magazine called Cell Count , which goes to all federal, and some provincial, prisons across Canada and publishes the writing, poetry, and artwork created by inmates for inmates.
侯赛因制作并编辑了一本名为《细胞计数》的杂志，该杂志面向加拿大所有联邦监狱和一些省级监狱，出版囚犯为囚犯创作的写作、诗歌和艺术品。
Hussain encouraged Amara to submit his writings.
侯赛因鼓励阿马拉提交他的著作。
She was so impressed by one story entitled “The Boy and His Sandcastle” that she ran it on the magazine’s cover.
一篇题为“男孩和他的沙堡”的故事给她留下了深刻的印象，以至于她把它放在了杂志的封面上。
Amara writes about his upbringing (including a sexual assault in his youth), his path to radicalization, the impact of his imprisonment, and, eventually, his enlightenment.
阿马拉讲述了他的成长经历（包括年轻时的性侵犯）、他的激进化之路、他入狱的影响，以及最终他的启蒙。
“It is said that those who are the most dogmatic are usually the least certain,” Amara writes.
“据说，那些最教条的人通常是最没有确定性的，”阿马拉写道。
“A vivid depiction of this internal struggle is that of a boy who is perpetually fortifying the walls of a sandcastle he built too close to the waves.”
“对这种内心斗争的生动描述是，一个男孩不断地加固他建造的离海浪太近的沙堡的墙壁。”
“Prior to ISIS, whenever innocent people were killed, I would simply tell myself that it was ‘collateral damage’ if those killed were non-Muslims, or a ‘mistake’ if they were Muslims,” he wrote.
“在伊斯兰国之前，每当无辜者被杀时，我都会简单地告诉自己，如果被杀者是非穆斯林，那是‘附带损害’，如果是穆斯林，那就是‘错误’，”他写道。
“Every atrocity committed by ISIS was like a Tsunami that would violently demolish my Sand Castle and leave no trace of it behind.
“伊斯兰国犯下的每一次暴行都像海啸一样，会猛烈地摧毁我的沙堡，不留下任何痕迹。
Yet I kept frantically rushing back to rebuild it.”
但我还是疯狂地冲回去重建它。”
When he could no longer justify what he once thought was righteous, he worried that he would also have to abandon his faith.
当他无法再证明他曾经认为正义的事情时，他担心自己也将不得不放弃自己的信仰。
In his mind, his radical ideology was connected to his religion.
在他看来，他的激进意识形态与他的宗教信仰有关。
When he finally accepted that they were not, he says, he experienced a “spiritual ascent.”
他说，当他最终接受事实并非如此时，他经历了“精神上的提升”。
Gordon Darrall, a retired elementary school teacher who met Amara when he volunteered at a prison book club at Millhaven, says he was “stunned” by the piece.
退休小学教师戈登·达拉尔 (Gordon Darrall) 在米尔黑文监狱读书俱乐部做志愿者时认识了阿马拉，他说他对这篇文章感到“震惊”。
“He did not fit my image of a terrorist leader,” Darrall recalls.
“他不符合我对恐怖分子领袖的印象，”达拉尔回忆道。
“He wasn’t very black and white at all in his views.” Reading and writing, and supporters like Hussain, is what Darrall credits for Amara’s transformation.
“他的观点一点也不黑白分明。”达拉尔将阿马拉的转变归功于阅读和写作，以及像侯赛因这样的支持者。
“He had to basically find his own way to changing his attitudes in prison.
“他基本上必须找到自己的方法来改变他在监狱中的态度。
The correction services did not do very much to support that at all,” he says.
惩教机构根本没有采取太多措施来支持这一点，”他说。
When I ask Amara about it, he calls it self-administered therapy.
当我向阿马拉询问此事时，他称其为自我管理疗法。
“When you abandon an ideology, an extremist ideology, it leaves, like, a void.” Reading and writing filled that, to some extent.
“当你放弃一种意识形态，一种极端主义意识形态时，它就会留下一片空白。”阅读和写作在某种程度上填补了这一点。
Writing-as-therapy was a sentiment I could understand.
写作作为治疗是一种我可以理解的情绪。
I always find I can express myself more clearly in writing, as opposed to talking.
我总是发现用书面形式比说话更能清楚地表达自己。
Years ago, I sat down to write about my experiences with infertility just to try to process them—to try to alleviate the sadness.
几年前，我坐下来写下我的不孕经历，只是为了尝试处理它们——试图减轻悲伤。
I ended up publishing the column in the Star , thinking it may help others who feel alone in their struggles—but that had not been my intention in going public.
我最终在《星报》上发表了这篇专栏，认为这可能会帮助那些在挣扎中感到孤独的人——但这并不是我公开的意图。
I just needed to quiet the noise in my head.
我只需要平息脑子里的噪音。
Amara’s sister, Dena, says she noticed the change in her brother once he began to write regularly.
阿马拉的姐姐德娜说，一旦她哥哥开始定期写作，她就注意到了他的变化。
In Millhaven, she was allowed her first private visit with him, without a Plexiglas barrier.
在米尔黑文，她被允许在没有有机玻璃屏障的情况下第一次私人拜访他。
Dena says they began having the “most straightforward” conversations they had had since his arrest nearly a decade earlier.
德纳说，自他近十年前被捕以来，他们开始进行“最直接”的对话。
“He had really reached that point of confronting his truth and not lying to himself,” she says.
“他确实已经达到了直面真相、不再对自己撒谎的地步，”她说。
With his permission, she created a Facebook account under his name to post his stories and poems for a wider audience.
在他的允许下，她以他的名义创建了一个 Facebook 帐户，以便向更广泛的受众发布他的故事和诗歌。
Amara still seemed to crave a purpose that was bigger than himself.
阿马拉似乎仍然渴望一个比他自己更伟大的目标。
The profile featured a photo of him holding pen to paper, alongside pictures of him with signs professing his love for his mother and daughter.
个人资料上有一张他拿着笔在纸上写字的照片，旁边还有他举着标语表达对母亲和女儿的爱的照片。
Among the stories she posted was “The Boy and His Sandcastle.”
她发布的故事包括“男孩和他的沙堡”。
But six months later, in the summer of 2018, a reporter at Global TV discovered the profile, and an hour after calling Facebook for comment, the account was shut down.
但六个月后，即 2018 年夏天，环球电视台的一名记者发现了该个人资料，在致电 Facebook 征求意见一小时后，该帐户被关闭。
“We don’t allow mass murderers to maintain a presence on Facebook,” the company told Global.
该公司告诉 Global ：“我们不允许大规模杀人犯继续出现在 Facebook 上。”
Phil Gurski, a former Canadian Security Intelligence Service analyst during the Toronto 18 investigation, wrote a blog post about the whole episode.
参与多伦多 18 调查的前加拿大安全情报局分析师菲尔·古斯基 (Phil Gurski) 写了一篇关于整个事件的博文。
For Gurski, Amara showed “a distinct lack of ownership” by blaming his actions on “a perfect storm of internal and external influences.” Gurski contended he had alternatives to violent extremism.
对于古尔斯基来说，阿马拉将自己的行为归咎于“内部和外部影响的完美风暴”，表现出“明显缺乏主人翁意识”。古尔斯基声称，除了暴力极端主义之外，他还有其他选择。
“You had a choice,” he wrote.
“你有选择，”他写道。
“None of this is anyone’s fault but yours.
“这一切都不是任何人的错，除了你的错。
Accept that.”
接受这一点吧。”
Amara was stung by the claim that he was ducking responsibility.
阿马拉对他逃避责任的说法感到很刺痛。
“That’s exactly what I was trying to do in my writing,” he says.
“这正是我在写作中试图做到的，”他说。
“It was really devastating.”
“这真的是毁灭性的。”
A mara was the last of the Toronto 18 suspects to get parole two years ago.
两年前，阿玛拉是多伦多 18 名嫌疑人中最后一位获得假释的人。
Aside from one of his co-accused, who left Canada for Syria in 2013 and died fighting, the rest have reportedly gone on to live quiet lives.
据报道，除了一名于 2013 年离开加拿大前往叙利亚并死于战斗的同案被告外，其他人都继续过着平静的生活。
One of the men now practises law.
其中一名男子现在从事法律工作。
Days before Amara turned thirty-nine last August, he had his parole extended for another six months (at the end of which it will be reviewed again).
去年八月，阿马拉三十九岁生日前几天，他的假释期限又延长了六个月（到期后将再次进行审查）。
He must continue to live at a halfway house and abide by other conditions, which include seeking permission for his outings.
他必须继续住在中途之家，并遵守其他条件，其中包括外出时寻求许可。
He’s still restricted from unsupervised access to the internet or possessing electronic devices such as a smartphone.
他仍然被限制在无人监督的情况下访问互联网或拥有智能手机等电子设备。
He bangs out texts old school, tapping the numbers for letters on his Easyfone (advertised online as “mobiles for senior citizens”), and he recently purchased a word processor so he could keep writing.
他用老派的方式发短信，在他的 Easyfone（网上宣传为“老年人手机”）上敲击数字来输入字母，他最近购买了一个文字处理器，这样他就可以继续写作。
Amara self-published a collection of his writings, which he dedicated to his sister, under the title A Boy and His Sandcastle .
阿马拉自行出版了一本作品集，题为《男孩和他的沙堡》，献给他的妹妹。
Last fall, he began a creative writing continuing education course at the University of Toronto.
去年秋天，他在多伦多大学开始了创意写作继续教育课程。
Amara also works five days a week at a watch repair shop and as an occasional consultant for Estimated Time of Arrival.
阿马拉还每周在一家手表维修店工作五天，并偶尔担任预计到达时间的顾问。
ETA is a counter-violent extremism program that began in 2020 and is housed in Yorktown Family Services, a mental health centre.
ETA 是一项反暴力极端主义计划，于 2020 年启动，设在约克镇家庭服务中心（一个心理健康中心）。
It’s the kind of program my fellowship research showed was direly needed.
我的奖学金研究显示，这是一种迫切需要的项目。
It’s the kind of program Amara says he wishes he could have accessed when he was twenty.
阿马拉说，他希望自己在 20 岁时就可以访问这种程序。
“I don’t want you to worry about me, because you’re not going to be hearing anything bad about me in the future.”
“我不想让你担心我，因为以后你不会听到任何关于我的坏话。”
David O’Brien is ETA’s director and comes from a background of three decades working in the mental health field.
David O’Brien 是 ETA 的主任，拥有三十年心理健康领域工作背景。
He says, in around 2016, he started to notice more youths coming into their programs being “openly hateful.” A few years later, the Toronto police approached his centre with a case of a youth who wanted to shoot up his school on behalf of Hitler—could they intervene?
他说，在 2016 年左右，他开始注意到更多参加他们项目的年轻人“公开仇恨”。几年后，多伦多警方向他的中心通报了一起案件，一名年轻人想要代表希特勒射杀他的学校——他们可以干预吗？
Soon, other cases were referred by police (some likely from CSIS but channelled through law enforcement).
很快，警方转交了其他案件（有些可能来自战略情报局，但通过执法部门转交）。
“We knew nothing at the time about the CVE sector,” O’Brien says.
“当时我们对 CVE 领域一无所知，”奥布莱恩说。
But the cases went well.
但案件进展顺利。
“It’s not sexy,” O’Brien says of the program.
“这并不性感，”奥布莱恩谈到这个项目时说道。
“We just wrap services around people and identify all the vulnerabilities that led them to these hate communities, to this terrorism or extremism.” That means helping them with health issues or mental health therapy, or helping them find employment, education, or housing.
“我们只是为人们提供服务，并找出导致他们进入这些仇恨社区、恐怖主义或极端主义的所有弱点。”这意味着帮助他们解决健康问题或进行心理健康治疗，或者帮助他们找到就业、教育或住房。
Essentially, what O’Brien and his team provide is a community.
本质上，奥布莱恩和他的团队提供的是一个社区。
What they rarely do, O’Brien says, is talk ideology.
奥布莱恩说，他们很少做的是谈论意识形态。
“When I talk to parents and others, the first thing is they want to pound the ideology out of their kids and their loved ones, right?” O’Brien told me.
“当我与父母和其他人交谈时，第一件事是他们想从孩子和亲人身上消除意识形态，对吗？”奥布莱恩告诉我的。
“But that’s the worst thing you can do; it actually reinforces the radicalization.” Sometimes, O’Brien says, the ideology is all their clients have to cling to.
“但这是你能做的最糟糕的事情；它实际上加剧了激进化。”奥布莱恩说，有时候，他们的客户必须坚持的就是意识形态。
Just as Amara explains in his writing, that’s the hardest part to let go—that supposed sense of purpose and a higher calling.
正如阿马拉在他的著作中所解释的那样，这是最难放弃的部分——所谓的使命感和更高的使命感。
O’Brien is not able to discuss any one case, Amara’s included, but he believes, thanks to ETA’s success in the past five years, that it is less likely today to see expansive, labour-intensive criminal cases such as the Toronto 18, which involved nearly two years of intelligence and undercover operations.
奥布莱恩无法讨论任何一个案件，包括阿玛拉的案件，但他相信，由于埃塔在过去五年中取得的成功，今天不太可能出现像多伦多 18 案那样大规模、劳动密集型的刑事案件，该案件涉及近两年的情报和卧底行动。
“Police had no other tool than arrests,” he says about the years after 9/11.
“除了逮捕，警方没有其他工具，”他在谈到 9/11 事件后的几年时说道。
Now law enforcement and security officials regularly refer people to ETA before their actions can become criminal.
现在，执法和安全官员经常将人们转介给 ETA，以免他们的行为构成犯罪。
Cases these days include a worrying number of young people with white supremacist and neo-Nazi views.
如今的案件包括数量令人担忧的白人至上主义和新纳粹观点的年轻人。
In the past four years, the centre has had nearly 300 participants in their program.
在过去四年中，该中心已有近 300 名参与者参与其项目。
O’Brien is especially pleased with the recent uptick in clients who have come to them not from police but thanks to the advice of relatives, teachers, or friends.
奥布莱恩尤其高兴的是，最近来找他们的客户数量有所增加，这些客户不是来自警察，而是来自亲戚、老师或朋友的建议。
“We’re trying to get everyone on board to keep their eyes and ears open,” O’Brien says.
“我们正在努力让每个人都保持警惕，”奥布莱恩说。
“Nobody just blows up.
“没有人会轻易爆炸。
Nobody just shoots up a school; there are signs.
没有人会直接向学校开枪；有迹象表明。
Many weeks and years of signs leading up to this.
数周乃至数年的迹象导致了这一点。
I think, if we have more awareness, we can start intervening.”
我认为，如果我们有更多的认识，我们就可以开始干预。”
There are no programs similar to ETA inside prisons—which is one of the reasons Amara was denied parole the first time he went before the board in 2021.
监狱内没有类似 ETA 的计划，这也是阿马拉 2021 年第一次向委员会提出假释请求时被拒绝假释的原因之一。
“They wanted me to show I had enrolled in a program that didn’t exist.”
“他们想让我证明我参加了一个不存在的项目。”
The board members noted this long-standing problem in their written decision.
董事会成员在书面决定中指出了这个长期存在的问题。
“In the absence of validated risk tools that can objectively and accurately assess your risk of violent recidivism in the area of terrorist activity, and in the absence of any counselling or programming that is designed to help you develop strategies to mitigate your risk, the Board is challenged to make an assessment of your risk and readiness for release.” The members did credit Amara for his own efforts and “self-management” but denied his application.
“由于缺乏经过验证的风险工具能够客观准确地评估您在恐怖活动领域再次暴力犯罪的风险，并且缺乏任何旨在帮助您制定减轻风险策略的咨询或规划，委员会面临的挑战是对您的风险和释放准备情况进行评估。”成员们确实赞扬阿马拉自己的努力和“自我管理”，但拒绝了他的申请。
Trying to prepare him for his next attempt at parole, Hussain, Cell Count editor, reached out to ETA on his behalf.
为了让他为下一次假释做好准备，细胞计数编辑侯赛因代表他联系了 ETA。
Amara says O’Brien visited him at Warkworth Penitentiary, the medium-security prison in Campbellford, Ontario, where he had been transferred after Millhaven, and later conducted one-on-one telephone sessions.
阿马拉说，奥布莱恩在安大略省坎贝尔福德的沃克沃斯监狱探望了他，他是在米尔黑文之后被转移到那里的，后来进行了一对一的电话交谈。
Amara also opened himself up to the RCMP—offering to be interrogated for as long as it would take the federal agents to decide if he indeed was a changed man and no longer posed a risk.
阿马拉还向加拿大皇家骑警敞开心扉，愿意接受审讯，直到联邦探员确定他是否确实变了一个人，不再构成风险。
His efforts paid off.
他的努力得到了回报。
The board acknowledged his work with ETA and meeting the RCMP’s National Security Enforcement Team.
委员会认可了他与 ETA 的合作，并会见了加拿大皇家骑警的国家安全执法小组。
“Following that process, the RCMP informed your PO [parole officer] that they considered you to no longer be radicalized and that the change in your values, attitudes and belief appears to be long term.
“在此过程之后，加拿大皇家骑警通知你的假释官，他们认为你不再激进，你的价值观、态度和信仰的改变似乎是长期的。
Further, that they believe you could be a positive influence on others who hold radical ideologies,” the board members wrote in granting Amara parole in 2022.
此外，他们相信你可以对其他持有激进意识形态的人产生积极影响，”董事会成员在 2022 年批准阿马拉假释时写道。
“I beg you, from the bottom of my heart, I don’t want you to go to your bed tonight anxious about me,” Amara told the board members.
阿马拉对董事会成员说：“我从心底请求你们，我不想让你们今晚上床睡觉时为我担心。”
“I don’t want you to worry about me, because you’re not going to be hearing anything bad about me in the future.”
“我不想让你担心我，因为以后你不会听到任何关于我的坏话。”
“We certainly hope not,” the panel chairman said.
“我们当然希望不会，”该小组主席说。
“For no personal reason, I hope we don’t see you again.”
“没有任何个人原因，我希望我们不会再见到你。”
A mara was concerned about taking our private conversations public when I first asked to write this story—scared to be back in the news.
当我第一次要求写这个故事时，阿玛拉担心将我们的私人谈话公开——害怕再次成为新闻焦点。
“I think, on one hand, he just wants to live a normal life, if you can call it that,” Dena told me.
“我认为，一方面，他只是想过正常的生活，如果你可以这样称呼的话，”德娜告诉我。
“He wants to move on from what happened.”
“他想从发生的事情中走出来。”
It took Amara weeks to decide, and I didn’t push him.
阿马拉花了几周时间才做出决定，我没有催促他。
I also worried about his name in the headlines and the stress it may cause.
我还担心他的名字出现在头条新闻中以及它可能带来的压力。
But Amara changed his mind, in part, in the hope of being forgiven beyond his inner circle.
但阿马拉改变了主意，部分原因是希望得到圈外人的原谅。
“I’ve been uber-scrutinized by Corrections, the Parole Board, and the RCMP, but not yet by the public,” he wrote me.
“惩教署、假释委员会和加拿大皇家骑警已经对我进行了严格审查，但公众还没有对我进行严格审查，”他写信给我。
“I don’t believe that redemption is possible without public scrutiny.” He said he hoped his experience would help others learn from his mistakes and wanted his family—particularly his daughter—to read something in the media and be proud rather than feel ashamed.
“我认为，如果没有公众监督，救赎是不可能的。”他说，他希望他的经历能够帮助其他人从他的错误中吸取教训，并希望他的家人，特别是他的女儿，在媒体上读到一些东西并感到自豪，而不是感到羞耻。
It feels significant, nearly two decades after his arrest, to be writing a story about Amara the repentant terrorist, since I had been the first to introduce Canadians to Amara the terrorism suspect.
在他被捕近二十年后，写一篇关于悔悟的恐怖分子阿马拉的故事感觉很重要，因为我是第一个向加拿大人介绍恐怖主义嫌疑人阿马拉的人。
I didn’t have any regrets about the reporting we did around Amara’s arrest, even as I lamented some of the fallout.
我对我们对阿马拉被捕的报道没有任何遗憾，尽管我对一些后果感到遗憾。
The fact remains he was convicted in a court of law—a conviction that he appealed and lost.
事实仍然是，他在法庭上被定罪——他上诉但败诉。
Of course, there’s no way to know if he could have been stopped earlier, through counselling.
当然，我们无法知道是否可以通过咨询更早地阻止他。
But he admits his guilt and often himself says he is grateful he was caught.
但他承认自己有罪，并且经常自己说他很感激自己被抓住了。
And yet Amara has certainly paid a price by living almost half his life behind bars.
然而，阿马拉无疑付出了代价，他的近一半人生都在监狱里度过。
As he notes, his family and friends, the parole board, and even the RCMP believe he deserves a second chance.
正如他所说，他的家人和朋友、假释委员会，甚至加拿大皇家骑警都认为他应该得到第二次机会。
I didn’t want his story to end the day he was sentenced as a terrorist.
我不想让他的故事在他被作为恐怖分子判刑的那一天结束。
I asked Amara if, maybe, that’s why he reached out to me in the first place—if he was craving this full-circle moment.
我问阿马拉，也许这就是他一开始联系我的原因——他是否渴望这个完整的时刻。
“I do think I wanted to show you I’d changed,” he said.
“我确实想告诉你我已经改变了，”他说。
“What you do with that is up to you.
“你用它做什么取决于你。
I know you have a job to do.”
我知道你还有工作要做。”
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Canada is feeling the squeeze.
加拿大感受到了压力。
Rents are soaring, grocery bills keep climbing, and for too many families, the math of daily life just doesn’t add up.
房租飙升，食品杂货账单不断攀升，对于太多家庭来说，日常生活的数学根本不合理。
These aren’t isolated struggles—they’re systemic challenges tied to policy decisions and political choices.
这些不是孤立的斗争——它们是与政策决策和政治选择相关的系统性挑战。
And they’re exactly what’s at stake in the 2025 federal election.
而它们正是 2025 年联邦选举的利害攸关者。
But here’s the thing: understanding these issues, and the solutions being proposed, isn’t easy in a world awash with misinformation and partisan spin.
但事情是这样的：在一个充斥着错误信息和党派之争的世界里，理解这些问题以及所提出的解决方案并不容易。
That’s where The Walrus comes in.
这就是海象的用武之地。
Our mission is to cut through the noise, to connect the dots between the policies debated in Parliament and the realities playing out in your neighbourhood.
我们的使命是消除噪音，将议会辩论的政策与您所在社区的现实联系起来。
To do that—to keep reporting with depth, rigour, and clarity—we need your support.
为了做到这一点——保持报告的深度、严谨和清晰——我们需要您的支持。
This election is about more than picking a leader.
这次选举不仅仅是挑选一位领导人。
It’s about charting a future for Canada.
这是关于规划加拿大的未来。
Help us keep telling the stories that matter.
帮助我们继续讲述重要的故事。
Donate today.
今天捐款。
Canada is feeling the squeeze.
加拿大感受到了压力。
Rents are soaring, grocery bills keep climbing, and for too many families, the math of daily life just doesn’t add up.
房租飙升，食品杂货账单不断攀升，对于太多家庭来说，日常生活的数学根本不合理。
These aren’t isolated struggles—they’re systemic challenges tied to policy decisions and political choices.
这些不是孤立的斗争——它们是与政策决策和政治选择相关的系统性挑战。
And they’re exactly what’s at stake in the 2025 federal election.
而它们正是 2025 年联邦选举的利害攸关者。
But here’s the thing: understanding these issues, and the solutions being proposed, isn’t easy in a world awash with misinformation and partisan spin.
但事情是这样的：在一个充斥着错误信息和党派之争的世界里，理解这些问题以及所提出的解决方案并不容易。
That’s where The Walrus comes in.
这就是海象的用武之地。
Our mission is to cut through the noise, to connect the dots between the policies debated in Parliament and the realities playing out in your neighbourhood.
我们的使命是消除噪音，将议会辩论的政策与您所在社区的现实联系起来。
To do that—to keep reporting with depth, rigour, and clarity—we need your support.
为了做到这一点——保持报告的深度、严谨和清晰——我们需要您的支持。
This election is about more than picking a leader.
这次选举不仅仅是挑选一位领导人。
It’s about charting a future for Canada.
这是关于规划加拿大的未来。
Help us keep telling the stories that matter.
帮助我们继续讲述重要的故事。
Donate today.
今天捐款。